Xander found Angel in the study, brooding. "Hey Angel." Xander wished he could be his hyper self, but after such an emotionally draining moment with Spike, he couldn't get up the energy.

"You're going to fight, even if you know you are going to lose?" Angel looked up at Xander. Yet unlike the sadness of the truth he expected in Xander's eyes, he found hope.

"You see a losing battle. I see a chance to save everyone from him. I'd be making Buffy proud. And I know you are too." Xander watched as Angel looked up at him in surprise. "What? Don't you think I know you wonder each day if going on and taking care of Conner was what she wanted? I keep thinking, with me in the this body, would the crew be proud of me?"

"I should have died in her place." Angel looked lonely, more lonely then usual. He looked like a man broken by the world.

"You knew she wanted to go down fighting. She's proud of you, Angel. We all are." Xander placed a hand on Angel's shoulder.

"I wish I knew that for sure. I mean I couldn't protect any of you. Hell, I couldn't even protect you." Angel didn't finish his comment.

Xander laughed bitterly. "You mean you couldn't even protect the weakest of the group, didn't you."

"No, I didn't. I was going to say, my childe's heart." Angel looked away. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were the weakest of us. We were stronger because of you. Something seemed to suck the oxygen out of the room when you died. It was like all hope that rested in you was gone. It couldn't be brought back." Angel looked up as if truly seeing Xander, not Alexandria, but Xander. "It was brought back when you walked in this hotel, even if we didn't know it was you before. It was like a weight was lifted."

"Angel, you know that I'm still human. I will die again eventually." Xander looked down in pity for Angel.

"I know I'll slowly lose all of you. But someday. I'll be able to see Buffy someday and spend eternity with her." Angel had an ageless look upon his face that reminded Xander that Angel had watched centuries come and go.

"It may be closer then you think." Xander smiled hopefully.

"You always looked on the positive side of everything, even now." Angel found him smiling back.

"Lets go kick some baddie butt." Xander smirked as Angel shook off the brooding stature and went into the hero everyone knew he was.

*****
tbc