"Excuse me?" Angel echoed.

Cordelia grinned. "I'll say it one more time, in little bitty words. You, Angel, are going to assemble furniture. That sexy blonde bed-bunny of yours is going to help you." She pointed at a large yellow toolbox on the floor. "Those are your implements of construction. Do not leave this room until you're finished."

"Don't leave?" Wil asked. "Not even for--"

"If you say bathroom, I'll sock you," Cordelia warned. "Somebody will bring you blood."

"Why can't we leave?" Angel whined.

"Because the only window coverings we have right now are in this room and this place is nothing but glass. And the basement is off-limits until we finish getting it shoveled out," She replied. "Grin and bear it, ok?"

The seer waddled out of Wil and Angel's prison, chuckling softly. She was in charge of the now-ritual house cleaning and damned happy to be the boss. No actual work for her, just lots of yelling. And she got to pick out *all* the colors. In fact, Gunn was supposed to be driving her to the store right about now.

"She's making us stay in here," Angel said disbelievingly. "In this room. The walls are *orange*."

"I am *NOT* a bed-bunny," Wil muttered.

...

"Cordy, if we split up the lists we can get everything bought today," Xander reasoned. "And you won't be all tired out."

"I don't trust you," She replied.

Gunn glanced at Xander, making obvious 'shut the hell up' motions. "Baby, we just want what you want."

Wesley rolled his eyes and put his glamour spell into place. They were at the home improvement center, where horns and hooves wouldn't fit in very well. "Hmm..." He murmured. "Perhaps after you pick out the paint chips, we can stay here and finish purchasing supplies while you and Gunn pick out the furniture," The faun suggested.

Cordelia smiled hugely. "That's a wonderful idea, Wes!" She said brightly. "See, Xander? That's how you do diplomatic."

Xander scowled and grabbed a shopping cart. "I hate Home Depot." Oz and Fred pulled into the spot next to them and joined the group as they entered the store.

Cordelia made a beeline for the paint department, leaving a trail of frantically rushing people behind her. Gunn caught up just as she began to pull down slips of paper. "Which one do you think, Charles? Eggplant, Aubergine, Concord, Royal, Imperial?"

Xander peered over Cordelia's shoulder. "They all look like purple to me," The Raphe commented.

Cordelia thwapped him with the paper. "That's because you're an idiot. I think the Royal is perfect. Don't you, Wesley?"

"Yes, certainly," Wesley murmured. Xander made a kissy face at the faun and started flipping through a small book of design ideas.

The group's enthusiastic perusal of paint chips soon drew the attention of several employees. Cordelia took full advantage of the situation, accepting the offer of a chair while the young men showed her hundreds of colors of paint. Xander retreated to study plumbing fixtures, as did Oz. Xander was man enough to admit that Cordelia scared him shitless, particularly when she was nesting. And this very definitely qualified as nesting.

"You're really liking the chrome one, aren't you?" Oz asked. Xander looked up at the display he was standing near.

"Er, yeah. It's all...shiny." He moved on, finding himself next to a urinal. "But not as shiny as that!"

"Don't eat the big white mint," Oz murmured. "Maybe we should look for those blinds Cordelia wanted."

Xander obediently followed Oz through the store, playing with bins of stuff along the way. "Can we have one of these?" Xander asked, holding up a paint roller.

Oz studied the implement. "It makes a border print," He said, looking closer. "Of baby blocks."

"Cool!" Xander replied. "Cordy would love that!"

Oz cocked a skeptical eyebrow but said nothing. Xander grinned and chose another roller as well, this one with bats and cats on it--a Halloween themed craft roller.

"For the family room," Xander explained.

"Blinds," Oz reminded him. "Lots of them."

A few minutes later they located the needed blinds. They weren't cheap, but Cordelia had been insistent. Regular slatted blinds weren't good enough for her, since they sometimes let in a sliver of light. She wanted these solid paper ones that were a lot nicer. They were also opaque. "I've got that list," Xander said, pulling out a piece of paper. "Mostly black, but some white and ecru. What's ecru?"

"Off white," Oz murmured. "What are the measurements?"

...

"So that's all?" The young man asked Cordelia. She was pushing herself out of her chair, with Gunn's assistance.

"Yup. My friends here will take care of placing the orders," Cordelia replied. "Thanks for all your help!"

Wesley and Fred watched the pair walk away, already bickering good-naturedly about furniture. "I suppose we should get started. Remember, no satin or flat paint," Wesley murmured. "We need five gallons of the first one, labeled 'dining room'..."

"Where are Oz and Xander?" Fred asked as she watched pigment drip into paint cans.

"Finding blinds, kitchen fixtures, and shower heads, I hope," Wesley replied. "Else we will be here all day."

Xander and Oz showed up about half an hour later, with all the things on their lists save the paint. There were five carts, all full to overflowing. It looked like they'd co-opted half the store's staff to push them. "How's the paint coming?" Xander asked, still playing with the paint roller.

"Almost finished," Fred answered. "Just waiting for the midnight carmine."

"Then we can get out of here?" Xander asked hopefully. "And grab some food?"

"Yes, please," Wesley muttered. "Perhaps something nice, to put off the work that we must start when we get back to the house."

"Hey, at least we're not Wil and Angel. They're stuck putting together baby furniture," Fred reminded her lover.

"Point," Xander said. "They must be in hell."

...

"There isn't a three-eighths inch panhead screw in the bag," Angel said patiently.

"Yes, there is," Wil insisted. "It's black. I put it next to the seven-eighths inch wood screw."

"That's a half-inch sheet-metal screw," Angel told him.

"Then where's the panhead?" Wil asked.

"I don't know," The dark vampire replied. "If I did, I'd give it to you. Use this instead," He continued, handing over another screw.

"I can't," Wil muttered. "It's a five-eighths inch screw and too long. We're not supposed to use this until step 11f."

"Oh," Angel murmured.

"What did you use in step 4jj?" Wil inquired suspiciously.

"A screw," Angel said innocently.

"Which one?"

Angel pointed to the frame.

Wil swore. "Damn it, that's the panhead! You were supposed to use the three-eighths inch drywall screw!"

"Sorry," Angel muttered, moving to switch the screws. "Now what?"

Wil took the proffered screw and finished his task. "Now we move on to step 6k--inserting the casters."

...

"You've got to be kidding me," Gunn said. "You are *not* putting *that* in Angel's bedroom."

"Why not?" Cordelia asked curiously. "It's in great shape and it's pretty."

"It's chrome, *shiny* chrome," Gunn explained. "Reminds me of a..."

"A what?" Cordelia hissed.

"Brothel," Gunn said resolutely.

"Good!" Cordelia replied. "Just what they need."

"Wil's gonna kill me," Gunn murmured as he gestured for the attendant. Cordelia was a thrift store goddess; she'd already outfitted almost every room in the house. It was all being delivered that very day, too.

"Nah, he'll love it," The seer assured him.

"What about the dining room?" He continued. "We don't have anything for that."

"And we're not gonna find it here," Cordelia replied. "But there's still one place left on the list."

...

"She wants *this* color on the ceiling?" Xander asked, holding out the paint can lid. "You're sure?"

"It's on the list, right here. Jordan Almond Yellow, kitchen ceiling," Fred said. "Along with Royal Purple on the cabinets and Verdant Green on the trim."

"And the chrome fixtures," Wesley murmured, holding up a bag. "We will certainly never mistake the kitchen for any other room."

Oz studied the list. "Xander and I can paint the basement," He offered. "We just need all the white and 'Dreaming of Blue' paint."

"All of it?" Xander asked, eyes wide. "Why all of it?"

"White and Dreaming of Blue--floor, ceiling, walls," Oz replied, holding up the paper. "Lot of painting to do."

"Oh gods, they're gonna kill us," Xander moaned. "Who's taking them their blood?"

"You are," Wesley remarked.

...

Wil sipped his blood, grateful that Angel had researched enough to know where to get it fresh. "They're painting," He said as Angel sat down on the floor.

"I know," Angel muttered. "And the furniture is arriving."

"Are they going to let us out of here?"

"They can't make us stay, not after dark," Angel warned.

"You're going to fight Cordelia?" Wil asked.

"Damn it."

"At least we got one bed put together," Wil commented.

"We've got another to do, plus all the other furniture. And what if she bought something new that needs assembling?" Angel inquired.

"Bookshelves aren't that bad," Wil said.

"Says you," Angel stated. "You weren't around to work on them last time."

...

"Wow."

Cordelia grinned.

"I'll say it again. Wow," Xander murmured. "I wasn't so sure about it when we started, but wow."

"You've said that already," Oz told his lover. "It's original."

"Are you pleased?" Wesley asked the werewolf seer.

"Very," Cordelia said proudly.

"Can we let the vamps out yet?" Fred asked.

"Sure," She replied. "But I'm going to bed. It's been a very long day."

The others agreed and decided to free Angel and Wil on their way to sleep. The vampires had been none too happy at being relegated to furniture assembly--at least until they found out they were being spared the job of painting. Now the furniture was completely finished, as was the rest of the house, save one room. They'd paint that in the morning.

...

"It's white."

"And blue," Wil added. "Blue, with white sponge-painted over it."

"The bed is chrome."

"But the covers are white," Wil said to Angel. "Very, very white.

"The floor looks like the sky," Angel stated.

"With fluffy clouds everywhere. Like we're outside on a beautiful day," Wil murmured.

"Why is there white silk hanging from the ceiling?" Angel inquired.

"It's decoration," Wil assured him.

"She wants us to hang ourselves? It doesn't work on vampires."

"I think she wanted us to have a nice place to live," Wil replied quietly.

That seemed to get Angel's attention. "It's lovely," He admitted. "Just very..."

"Stereotypically vampiric?" Wil joked.

"Not exactly," Angel retorted. "It is quite...different."

"I must agree; all that silk is distracting," Wil murmured.

Angel's eyes crossed, imagining Wil sprawled out amidst a sea of white silk. Maybe he should get Cordelia something nice, for the baby.

"What's in the box?" Wil inquired, seeing Vince's gift on one of their dressers.

"Going away present from Vince," Angel said absently.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Wil inquired.

"Why don't you?" Angel replied.

Wil went over to the box, peeling away the tape. "I shudder to think of what he might consider a good gift."

"That's why I didn't open it before," Angel admitted.

The blonde smiled as he opened the box. Inside were two more boxes, each one marked with either 'Todd' or 'Riley'. "I still can't believe you called me 'Todd.'"

Angel accepted his box, opening it gingerly. Inside it he found a truly stunning Chinese erotic jade carving. A quick glance told him that Wil had received a similar gift. The dark vampire knew they were worth a fortune. "Ah..."

"Guess you really made an impression," Wil murmured. He set the carving on his dresser. "You know, I was expecting lube, or handcuffs."

"He's already given us all of that," Angel remarked.

Wil studied his sculpture. "You know, I'm thinking these aren't actually that old."

Angel looked more closely. "No, they couldn't be."

"Because if I'm not mistaken," Wil continued, "The majority of pieces in this genre involved men and women together in that position."

Angel ran his hand over the two men in his gift. "Very true."

"Still, very lovely," Wil finished. "You'll have to send him a thank-you card."

*****
Part 83:

"Wil?"

The blonde vampire glanced up at Xander. "Hmm?"

"Are you reading Dr. Spock's baby book again?"

"Yes," Wil answered. "Why? Would you like to read it?" He offered the book to Xander.

"Uh, no. I was just wondering. I mean..." He flopped down onto the church pew across from Wil, wincing as he hit the back. "They're gonna be here soon, aren't they?"

"The cubs? Probably," Wil concurred. "They'll be fine."

"It's just that... none of us have much experience with kids!" Xander said worriedly. "Well, we do, but not with this many, or with cubs."

Wil nodded. It was quite true; Connor had died very young, not giving any of them a chance to learn how to deal with a toddler. And the cub aspect was new for most of them as well. Oz had a lot of information, but it was mostly from his own observations, not from personal experience. "We've all studied, and are prepared."

"Yeah, and it's great that Cordy trusts us enough to have a home birth and all," Xander conceded. "I'm just scared."

"We're all scared," Wil told the younger man. "But nothing bad will happen."

"Oh, so we're not going to get another two feet of snow this week?" Xander retorted. "Because I recall a certain weather report talking about lake effect snow *again*."

Wil smiled. "Must you always think the worst?"

"Yes," Xander shot back. "It's my nature."

"So is eating bugs," Wil muttered. "Trust us? Just a little?"

"But you're scared too," Xander reminded him.

"I also can't wait for them to arrive," Wil said, smiling softly. "They'll be so beautiful."

Xander got up and stomped off, muttering about how men weren't supposed to go all googly eyed over babies.

...

Cordelia scowled at the floor. It was too damned far away and she needed to stand up and go to the bathroom. "I hate mornings," She said as she got her feet on the ground and began to heft herself up. Gunn should've been around to help her. Then again, she'd sent him for her morning glass of milk.

The seer was just washing her hands when the first pain hit. "Gods, that hurts," She groaned, holding her belly. So the babies were coming. Wonderful. She so didn't want to have them in the bathroom. "Gunn!"

Gunn was just about to carry a nice, cold glass of milk upstairs when Cordelia screamed. "Guess she really wants that milk," Xander quipped. Gunn just foisted the glass into Xander's hands.

"That's not a 'gimme milk' yell," He said as he shot down the hall.

Xander frowned. It wasn't? If it wasn't a gimme milk cry, then what... "Oh shit. The cubs. Wil!"

Wil was already in the hall, having heard Cordelia's yell. "Their coming."

Soon the dining room was full of people milling around. They weren't in Cordelia's bedroom because she'd kicked them out, saying that it would be hours before she needed help, and they were worrying her besides.

"Do I need to boil water?" Xander asked the room in general.

"Yes," Wesley said firmly. The Raphe happily trotted off to boil water.

"Why did you tell him that?" Fred asked Wesley. "We don't need any boiled water."

"I think a cup of tea would be rather calming right now," Wesley replied. "Don't you?"

"I hate you, Charles Gunn!"

"I guess it's getting worse," Wil commented. "Oz?"

"I'll go check," Oz said tiredly. He was the least likely to get chewed on, being the alpha.

Cordelia was trying to reach things to throw at Gunn. "Alpha, that jackass is responsible for this!" She screamed, hefting a lamp.

"Put that down," Oz ordered. He hoped she listened to him, he really did. "Now."

Much to his and Gunn's surprise, she did as she was asked. "Yes, it is Gunn's fault. It is also your fault, however. So stop acting like an idiot. You're in labor."

Cordelia nodded meekly. "Could you ask Wil and Angel to come back in?"

"Sure," Oz murmured. Gunn followed him out of the room.

"I hope they do it, because I need a break," Gunn said. "It's been five hours and..."

"It'll be a lot more than that," Oz reminded him. "Get some sleep."

...

By the time Wesley and Fred went in to relieve Angel and Wil, the two vampires looked very much worse for wear. They'd lasted more than six hours, though, which was quite impressive. At that point, though, Cordelia was in what she swore was the worst part. Her labor was progressing quickly, but not fast enough to worry Oz.

"It's snowing," Xander said as Wil and Angel headed downstairs to their room.

"Wonderful," Angel muttered. "Wake us up if anything changes."

"You mean if the screams of a madwoman are supplanted by those of children?" Xander asked.

"Did you just use the word supplant?" Wil inquired.

"Yes," Xander admitted.

"Now I know I'm dreaming," Wil murmured as he shut the door in Xander's face.

Xander returned to his spot in the dining room. No one was there; Gunn was still sleeping in the kids' room and Oz was with Wesley and Fred at Cordelia's bedside. He wasn't missing the company, though. Quiet was good. Very good.

"Xander Harris!"

Particularly when Queen C was holding court.

...

"If you tell me to push, I'll strangle you," Cordelia threatened Oz.

"Never mind," Oz whispered. "Uh, whenever you want to see the cubs let me know. I'll say something besides push."

Now that it was clinch time, everyone was crowded into the bedroom, trying to stay out of the way. Actually, Oz wanted them there to catch babies. Because of that, they were all thoroughly clean and germ-free. And miserable, but excited too.

"Fine, I'll push, you bastard," Cordelia snapped. Gunn took her hand as she bore down.

"Wil," Oz growled as the first cub began to appear. Wil stepped forward quickly, waiting for Oz to ask him for help.

Cordelia screamed as the child was born. Within seconds, her first son joined in the noise. Wil took the tiny infant in his arms, staring down at its downy fuzz of dark hair. He glanced at Gunn and Cordelia, who were also staring. After a moment, he carried the baby over to them. The couple watched the baby as he blinked and squinted.

"So tiny," Gunn murmured. He tentatively stroked his son's head.

"Mischa Sebastian," Cordelia murmured tiredly. Then she grimaced. "Who's about to get a sibling!"

Wil retreated to the safety of the corner, where the others cooed over the child. Angel watched Wil with the baby, suffering flashbacks to when the blonde had held his own son. Then Oz called for the dark vampire's assistance.

"What do I do?" Angel asked. His son had been born by staking.

"Hold the blanket and catch," Oz said dryly. "And don't shake the baby."

Angel did exactly as he was told, holding the newly born infant as still as a statue. "You can move now," Oz told the vampire. "I'm sure Cordelia wants to see him."

The dark vampire stood and moved slowly over to Cordelia's side. "Your son," He murmured. Meanwhile Oz studied Cordelia carefully. As he'd feared, she was going to have another child. At least one more child.

Cordelia grinned at the baby. She was glad to have her children born. Now that the pain was over, she could relax. "And this must be little Julian Connor!"

Angel's head swung around. "Julian... Connor?" They'd named one of their children after his?

Gunn looked at the vampire with a serious face. "Yeah." Angel nodded, deeply touched.

Cordelia began to strain under the effort of another contraction. "That better be the placenta, like you warned, Oz," She grated out. Angel went to join Wil in the corner, weeping over the newborns.

"Xander," Oz called out. "Hand here."

"What?" Xander asked frantically. "The twins are here. How can I help?"

"By taking this baby," Oz ordered, handing Xander a blanket. "Now!"

Xander took the infant girl, who was already squalling. "Er, what do I do now?"

"Bring it here!" Cordelia ordered. "Oz, you said twins!"

"I said multiple birth," Oz hedged. "But that's probably the last one."

"We had girl names picked out too," Gunn reasoned.

"Siobhan Artemisia," The seer sighed. "She's cute. And she has my nose."

"And your ears," Xander added. "Look!"

Cordelia laughed. "Yeah, she does. Oz, this better be the end thingy," She continued as another contraction hit. "And I thought it took *hours* to give birth to twins and triplets!"

"Sometimes yeah, sometimes no," Oz murmured. "You're not human. Things work differently." He watched as yet another dark head appeared. "Er, Fred?"

Fred obediently stepped forward. "Another one?"

"Yeah, here," Oz replied, handing over a baby.

"You've got another daughter," Fred told Cordelia. "And she's just as cute as Siobhan."

Gunn sighed. "That's Thalia Rhiannon," He replied. "Our laughing girl."

Cordelia smiled down at the baby. "She's perfect. And she's the last one, right? I mean, four babies is outrageous."

Oz looked at Cordelia for a couple of minutes. "Maybe one more?" He could hear a second heartbeat inside her body. "Just one, though."

"Why me? Why five? I thought werewolves had single cubs," Cordelia moaned.

"It does explain why you're a bit early," Wesley murmured. "And some people are prone to multiple births."

"Wesley, shut up and get over here," Oz commanded. Wesley jumped to obey.

"We don't have a name for this one!" Cordelia whined as she bore down. "Gunn!"

Wesley looked at the baby in his hands. He was such a little thing, even smaller than his brothers and sisters. "Cordelia," He whispered.

"What?" She asked, still hysterical.

"Quietly, you're disturbing your son," Wesley chided. He carried the child over to Gunn and Cordelia, who immediately got as wide eyed with him as they had with the others.

"But we don't have a name," Cordelia bemoaned. "I'm not naming my kids after my father!"

"Alan Francis Charlemagne," Gunn announced. "Makes up for being the littlest one."

This time, when the pain came, Cordelia endured it quietly. Oz quickly cleaned her up, letting Gunn cover her with some blankets. The seer was completely drained and asleep before her lover finished getting her comfortable. "When do we have to wake her up?" Gunn asked Oz.

"Not for a few hours," Oz replied. "But we're gonna need a lot more formula; she can't feed this many."

"Do we have enough for a few days?" Gunn inquired.

"Yeah," Oz said. "Short on cribs too."

"Damn it. It's snowing," Gunn commented.

"We'll go out tomorrow, after they plow," Wil murmured. "For now we can hold them or use the bassinets and cribs."

Angel cradled Julian to his chest. "They're fine for now."

"Yeah, they are," Gunn said, reaching for the baby. Angel gave him up reluctantly, knowing that Gunn would want to hold his children. Oz got a chair for the exhausted father, who sat down to rock his second son. Wil moved forward to place Mischa in his arms as well. "That's as many as I can hold at once, guys," Gunn said lightly. "We're gonna have to do rotations."

A few minutes later the boys went back to Wil and Angel, so that Xander and Fred could present the girls. Gunn clucked and cooed over them as well, telling them just how much they looked like their mother. Very last was his fifth child, the third son. "And Alan," Gunn whispered. "You know he's going to be the biggest of them all, right?"

"With a name like that, there is no doubt," Wesley said dryly. "It should give him courage."

"Don't knock the names," Gunn warned. "Delia and I fought long and hard over them."

"Their names are perfect," Angel replied, once again staring down at Julian. "Aren't they?"

"The kids are generally perfect and beautiful and all wonderful baby-ness," Xander said brightly. "And they even smile, although that's just gas."

Fred rolled her eyes, though she was smiling. "Let's get these kids cleaned up, hmm?"

"Baby's first bath. Don't we need to weigh them?" Xander inquired.

Oz took charge again. "Line up, oldest to youngest. Gunn, get the scales and a tape measure--and the ink pad and some paper."

"Footprints? Cool!"

"Xander, stay away from the ink," Angel warned.

Xander pouted. "Siobhan, don't listen to him. He's a fuddy duddy."

"I am not a fuddy duddy," Angel told Julian. "Ignore the striped demon. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Mischa, ignore both of them. They do nothing but bicker," Wil said as he stepped up to Oz and Gunn's makeshift baby station. "And they'll cause you no end of trouble if you listen to them."

"Hey!" Xander exclaimed indignantly.

"If the shoe fits," Wil murmured.

"Angel," Oz growled. "And Xander, Wil? Stop with that shit."

"Yes, sir," Wil and Xander said together.

Gunn watched as Oz foot printed, measured and weighed each infant. Gunn helped his friends bathe them all, counting fingers and toes. He laughed when Xander found Siobhan's birthmark, which looked like a cat's eye. It was on her left shoulder.

"So, bedtime?" Wesley inquired as he slipped a onesie onto Alan.

"For the moment," Oz replied. "They'll be back up in an hour for food."

"So will we," Wil said slowly. The nights and days of uninterrupted sleep were gone.

*****