*****

Spike's POV:

"I'm not going."

What did he just say?

"What do you mean you're not going? I just had a vision. You have to go!" Cordelia's looking at Angel as if he has grown a third eye. Angel just stands there, defiant, with his arms crossed.

"I'm not going," he says again. This time with an added growl.

"Cordelia's right, Angel," lectures Wesley. "The powers would only send her a vision if they needed you to be there. Therefore it must be important, so you have to go."

"No."

Angel's getting his hung puppy dog look again. Yet, I can tell it's not going to change their minds this time.

"Spike!" Whines Cordelia, finally bringing me into the conversation. "Tell him he has to go. He's your Childe."

Only when it suits her does she recognise that little fact. Other times she's moaning at Angel to stop me doing things. Like: Tell him to turn his music down, make him stop giving me a full run down on how you had sex last night, and no I won't sleep with him.

"I am not going!" Angel reiterates.

"Angel you have to go. Buffy needs your help. If my vision was right, someone is trying to raise some hell demon to destroy everything. This is end of the world stuff Angel! You can't say no!"

"Yes I can. And I'm not."

I roll my eyes at him. Anyone would think that they are asking him to run naked in the streets or some thing. Humm.. Nice image. It's only a little trip to Sunnydale. Stop the big bad demon from rising then come home again. You would think it's the end of the world...Oh, Cordelia did say that, but it's not like he's going to have to make friends with Xander now, is it?.

"Spiiikee." Cordelia whines again. "Make him."

"Angel luv, maybe it's..."

Angel finally blows his lid and turns to me. His eyes flash golden with his anger and he bares his fangs as he shouts. "No! Don't you dare tell me to go. I won't! I am not going to Sunnydale ever again. Nothing you can do can make me. I won't.."

That's enough Childe! I fly across the room at Angel and pin him to the desk. He struggles and his fangs snap at my throat.

"Wes, Cordelia, I need some time with my Childe." I say it calmly and in seconds I hear them slam the office door as they make a quick exit. Angel still tries to struggle and bucks beneath me. Ever since I became his Sire I now have the superior strength. Guess taking Angel's strong master vampire blood changed me somehow. Or maybe it was providence to make sure I could control him. I refuse to move and after a moment he calms a bit.

"Now Angel - Tell me what the hell's wrong with you!" My Childe's large brown eyes look up into mine. To my ultimate surprise they are filled with pain. Then anger. Angel increases his struggles. His face shifts again and he sinks his fangs into my throat. His actions make me see red. He never bites me without permission. I roar at him and grabbing a hand-full of hair yank him away from my neck. Angel growls back. Seems like he needs a little reminding of who's who in this family. He kicks, hits, bites but I still manage to get him where I want him. With a quick move I've flipped him over on his stomach, bent over the desk. He howls and grunts, trying to get away from me, but I won't let him win. Angelus always underestimated my strength and determination. Sometimes Angel does too.

I grab the back of his black slacks and with a loud rendering tear have them down around his ankles. I unzip my own jeans and bring out my hard cock. It's always hard when I'm arguing with my Childe. Without any preparation I slam into my Childe's tight hole. Angel howls with anger and indignation. I thrust into him hard and unforgiving, delighting in the smell of his strong blood coating my cock. Angel puts on a little show of trying to fight me off but I can tell it's not real. He is liking this as much as I am. It's strange how my once dominant Sire now likes (well almost likes - still at times he fights it) to be the submissive one. I continue to thrust hard and deep until I feel Angel start to relax around me. Soon he's pushing his hips back to meet mine.

"Angel.." I murmur quietly into his ear. "Tell me what's wrong." Angel stiffens at my words but then turns tear-filled eyes to mine. What this? I slow my thrusts and just keep it gentle.

"They... They hate me." His voice takes on that softer tone. The voice of my Childe. "They look at me and all they see is what I've done to them. They only see what I am. They see Angelus." I stop my thrusting at his words and rest my body along his back. I run my fingers through soft silky hair and he leans back into my embrace.

"They know who you are Angel luv." I whisper softly. Licking the soft shell of his ear. Angel shakes his head.

"No. They don't. They see Angelus. They can't stand to be near me. They remember how I killed Jenny, how I tortured Giles, and how I tried to drive Buffy insane. They look at me and see a demon that tried to suck the world into hell. And then yo...." He trails off.

"I what, Angel?" I continue my gentle licking moving lower now to the raised scar on his neck. My scar. My mark. Angel shudders in my arms. I know how to get information from my Childe. How to use my affections to soften him up. A little cuddling and loving goes a long way. In fact, Angel doesn't seem able to deny me anything when I offer a little tenderness. He draws away and turns his head to face me.

"You'll remember what I did. When you were in that wheelchair. You'll remember who I am - what I am and then you'll leave me. You will hate me just as they do."

I get it now. It's also frightening in a way because I understand exactly what he means. When Angelus came back that second time, he was no longer the demon I had once known. He had been driven insane by a century of being the captive of a soul. He took his vengeance out on everyone. Not just the Scoobies, but at Dru and me too. He destroyed our relationship. Made Drusilla even more insane. He then abused, raped, and used me, knowing I couldn't do a damn thing about it in that wheelchair. I hated him. Wanted to kill him with a fiery passion. I was glad when he was sent into hell. I wanted them to do to him as he had done to me while he was there. Never happened. Angelus got his soul back before he was stabbed into that portal. It was the soul that suffered the tortures there not Angelus. Maybe Angel suffered enough for what he did - for what the demon had done.

I understand his fears. Can't say that they aren't justified either. They are. We have very right to hate him. Every right not to be near him. The thing is it's not that simple anymore. I discovered that the hard way. Angel no longer harbours the demon he once was. In truth he can't be blamed for what happened - it was never him. Also now he's different. He's not Angelus, he's not Angel either. He's my Childe - my Angel. He's changed, and in many ways, so have I. I allowed myself to love (even if the word still makes me shudder) this human soul, and he allows himself to love a demon. I think things are actually a lot more complicated in a way.

"You aren't that person, Angel. You never were. I know that, and that's all that matters." Oh hell, I hope I believe this when I get there. I hope I can remember my words when I am faced with the memories and place where all this happened. I stroke my fingers through my Childe's hair and kiss his neck. Angel groans and squeezes his inner muscles. Oh, forgot I was there. "You have to go Angel or you're going to feel guilty for months. I for one won't put up with that." Angel laughs softly. He knows I can't stand him brooding. I do everything I can from sex to punishing to going out to get him to stop. Not that it all works. The going out generally ends in disasters and huge fights, although the sex usually works. I give him a sharp thrust and he moans loudly. I'm going to get my way.... Come on Angel, say it!

"I will go, Sire. Forgive me?"

I kiss him again. Yes! I win again. When he draws away I notice he's got something on his mind.

"Aren't you going to punish me?" He asks.

Oh, liked that did you? Liked being bent over the desk and fucked raw.

"Maybe." I give another vicious thrust as he arches and moans into my embrace. I lift myself up on my arms and start a hard deep rhythm inside him. His groans and moans are no longer of pain, but of passion. He moves so wonderful wonderfully under me. Thrusting back as I push forward. Squeezing his inner muscles around my length and then relaxing as I draw out. He's damn amazing. Never letting him go, I can tell you that. I know a good thing when I see it. I won't let him brood all the time we are in Sunnydale either. Still, making up or punishment sex is something we both enjoy. Maybe I will let him piss me of off just a little bit. Okay, maybe a lot. I don't last long with Angel's co-operation. Soon I'm filling his grasping channel with my cold cum. Then I reach under him and feel that Angel is still hard.

"Turn over," I murmur to him. Angel obeys quickly and I'm greeted by his hard cold length next to my face. Sires don't usually suck their Childer off. I haven't done so yet, but I miss the taste of him. I might not have liked how Angelus, did it but I never minded the taste of him. Sweet and bitter all at once.

"Siirrre." Angel howls as I take his length into my mouth. Now, I have been doing this for a long time and I know I'm bloody good at it too. Still, I want to draw out his suffering. I take my time giving him long wet licks and little flicks on his foreskin. Angel tries to press his hips forwards, but I rest my hands on him hard, preventing him moving. He starts making all those wonderful sexy sounds I love. Half moans. Broken words. Little desperate gasps. Angel is a real screamer when it comes to sex. I love it. I love making him lose control. He's not quiet and brooding when I'm inside him. He isn't quiet now I have him in my mouth either. At this moment I could ask him to dance a jig and he would have too, without complaint. Best thing about being a Sire if you ask me. The power of control. I don't have Angel jumping through hoops the rest of the time, but I can sure make him lose it during sex.

When I feel Angel's orgasm building I decide to take pity on him. I swallow his length down, letting it hit against the back of my throat. A couple more hoover moves and he's gone. He fills my mouth with his dead seed and I take him all down. He tastes better than I remember. Maybe it's because I'm a willing participant this time. Damn it. I am going to have to remember not to think about Angelus on this trip. I might lose myself in those memories and blame my Childe. Already he's afraid of going for that particular reason. I'm not going to prove his fears right. There are enough problems between us already without adding more.

*****
Part 2:

Angel's POV:

After my punishment, I agreed to go back to Sunnydale.

The Punishment itself turned out not so bad, in fact it was earth shattering. Spike's mouth is amazing. I never expected him to do that to me ever again. Still he did and it hasn't changed anything between us. I don't want it to. I am still the Childe and Spike is still the Sire. I like it this way. This way I don't have to control everything around me. I let him take part of the responsibility. It's nice. It's different. It makes me feel free. Doesn't mean I don't fight him once in a while. Sometimes I forget to be the submissive one. It's hard at times knowing that I will have to back down in the end. Anyway, back to the point. After experiencing Spike's amazing mouth - I agreed to go to Sunnydale.

I'm not looking forward to going back to that town - actually the thought of it scares me to death. I found myself there, (mentally and physically), but my losses outweighed the benefits. I lost love, sanity, hope, family - everything. I came here to LA to start again. I wanted to leave Sunnydale behind me. I had to leave the one I loved - Buffy - because it was the right thing to do. I loved her but we just didn't go together right, no matter how much we wanted too to. She's moved on now, and so have I. I don't want to go back and hurt her again. That's all I did in the end. Hurt her. I don't plan on staying around. Just in, do the job and go.

It's simple. We go in, kill the big bad (as Spike calls it), and then take off again. That's how it's going down, and nothing more. Couple of days tops. We decided to take my car. Spike's Desoto is a complete rust bucket, and I doubt it could make the journey. I drove. Spike might be my Sire, but there is no way in hell he's driving the Plymouth. Thankfully, Cordelia and Wesley have stayed behind. I don't think I could have coped with them arguing all the way. At least with Spike all I have to do is put up with loud music and he's happy.

We it to Sunnydale in good time, a little over an hour. His music was giving me a bit of a headache, so I floored it a little. Spike kept looking at the speedometer and laughing. I think he did it on purpose. Thankfully I could turn the damn thing off when we arrived. It's strange coming here. Buffy and the gang have moved their operations to Giles's home. I would have felt much better going to the library. Giles brings so many bad memories back. The last time I came here was when I was being driven insane by the first evil. I saw the ghost of Jenny Calendar standing there behind him. I saw how I destroyed his life forever by killing the one he loved. I can never make that up to Giles, no matter what I do. That dawn I tried to commit suicide. Even now, that seems seemed a whole lot easier than trying to face them again.

"Bloody Hell, Angel, stop brooding!" Spike jumps out of the Plymouth and heads over to Giles's front door. "Angel!" He shouts again. I can tell he's getting impatient. His voice gets that sire - tone I used to use. I heave myself out of the car and slowly walk towards Spike. He rolls his eyes at me and grabs my arm. How can he be looking forward to this? It's like he wants to see them again. Did he forget what they did to him when he first was chipped? Tied him up in the bathtub. I know, he told me all the stories. Still, I think he likes them.

Spike bangs on the door, and moments later Giles opens it. "Uh, Spike? What brings you here? Oh, Angel." Giles' face turns to stone as he looks at me. I expected him to rush back in and get a crossbow like last time. Then Giles turns back to Spike as if he's already forgotten I'm there.

"Again. What brings you here, Spike? I thought you liked living in LA." Giles steps back from the door, giving Spike an unspoken invitation. Spike swaggers in and starts talking.

"Yeah, love LA. The cheerleader had a vision, saw a big bag. So we came to help. Now, you still got some of that real Scottish whiskey around? That American stuff is far too weak. Don't want that Irish stuff either. Has to be Scottish." Giles leaves the door open and follows Spike in. I try to follow but I can't. It seems since I became a vampire for a second time I have to be re-invited again. Giles starts telling Spike about what whiskey he's stocked up on while I am still stuck outside. I notice that Giles is friendly to Spike. They have things in common to begin with: they are both English - even though centuries apart, it makes little difference.

"Hey Angel, there's... " I hear Spike say my name and he realises I'm not behind him. He comes back to the door and looks at me questioningly.

"I... uh... haven't been invited," I murmur. I hate this. I hate having to ask them to let me into their homes when it's quite obvious they don't want me in. "I can wait in the car." Spike makes a small grunting sound of frustration and grabs my arm.

"Hey Giles, Angel can come in right?"

"Oh sorry, I quite forgot. Do come in Angel."

Spike's POV:

I notice Angel's eyes widen in surprise as Giles invites him in. I know what my Childe was thinking. That he wasn't wanted. I tell ya, sometimes I think Angel believes he's a mind reader. He believes everyone is thinking badly of him and he knows they don't like him. He's a right pillock sometimes. I guess it comes with the brooding, self-flagellation and guilt. That spells Angel. He can't take in that Giles didn't know he needed to be re-invited in. I grab his arm and pull him inside past the threshold.

Giles offers us whiskey or tea. I take the whiskey and Angel takes the tea. I remember when Angelus could drink me under the table. Now he doesn't touch the stuff. Another type of abstinence for his penance. Thou shall not have fun, laugh, smile, drink, or do anything like having a good time. I swear that if he weren't so exhausted after sex he'd brood about that too. That's one thing I'm not going to let him do. I am not having my Childe feel guilty about having sex with his Sire. Don't care about the gender or his guilt about that either. It's right in my book, so it's going to be right in his too. I think that can be rule n� 130. I'm going to have to make a list soon. Hope Angel can remember all these. Maybe I'm being a little overpowering. Nah, what does he expect? I'm evil.

Giles tells us that the Scooby gang will be here too, soon. They haven't had any big problems lately. Apart from the appearance of Dracula, but Buffy soon got rid of him. Now there's a bigger idiot than Angel - owes me money too. They don't know of any big trouble coming however. Nothing has risen from the Hell Mouth for quite a while. That comment makes Angel try and to disappear into the woodwork. I am assuming he's thinking of what Angelus tried to do. Before anymore can be said we are interrupted by a group of loud teenagers.

"Hey Giles, brought a new car? Can I borrow it?" Xander comes waltzing in, followed by the rest. Buffy, Willow, Anya and commando boy Riley. "Oh, hi Spike. Need money?" He laughs and then spots Angel. "Deadboy. What do you want?" I don't think I like him anymore. I know he's good for a laugh, but I don't like how he's looking at my Childe. Angel stands up and backs away slightly. I try and pull him back to the couch, but he's as stiff as a board. Damn it Angel; don't go all closed up on me again. Took me three months to get him to this stage. Well, for me too. It's been hard for us to trust each other. Sometimes near impossible. But with Angel, I don't want to give up. He's the one plan I want to carry through. It's simple - keep Angel forever. Made my mind up that I'm going to do it too - even if it means using the L word.

I stand up and Buffy comes pushing forward. "Angel?"

Angel looks at the face of his ex-lover and gives a little smile. I realise then that I have made a huge mistake. That I've overlooked one little fact - Buffy knows Angel was human. It looks like she only told Red and not the others - but she knows he's not now. Having those super sensitive Slayer senses and all. Or maybe she just noticed his incredibly pale appearance or lack of heartbeat. Bloody hell, sometimes it's hard being the Sire. I have to think of everything. Now, I'm going to have to protect what is mine. Which isn't as easy as it sounds. Considering the chip, which prevents me from hurting humans.

"Angelus!" She growls; instantly coming to the wrong conclusion. If Angel was Angelus I would have killed him. She draws her stake and is about to pounce on my Childe. I grab her hand. I ignore the pain starting to burn itself through my brain. Still, I won't let her take him from me. Not now after all the work I've put into this. All the love *shudder* I've given.

"Don't you dare." She's a little surprised about my increased strength, but restrains herself. Thank god, I don't think I could hold out any longer. Feels like a little man's got a sledgehammer inside my head.

"He was human; now he's not." She says. I know her slayer senses told her, but they don't know the full story.

"Angel was human?" Ask Xander and Giles together. "How?"

"I reached my redemption." Angel murmurs. They give him a sharp look. I know that Angel wants to dig himself a great big hole right about now. He hates being the centre of attention. "There was an accident, I got shot... " Angel trails off unsure on how to say it. Buffy catches on.

"Spike. You killed him." She's about to turn that stake on me now.

"No!" Shouts Angel, and he grabs her hand. She yelps and drops the stake. He steps back, ashamed that he wasn't more careful. I'm a little surprised that he would actually protect me from the girl he used to think walked on water. But then again, it might have been that Sire/Childe bond kicking in. "I was dying, so Spike saved me. Willow... " He looks over to the red-headed witch. "That time you restored my soul, you permanently attached it to me. When I became a vampire again my soul remained. Thank you." Red blushes. There is an uncomfortable silence now. How do you follow that up? Xander has an idea.

"So Spike is Deadboy's Sire now?" He starts laughing and doesn't stop. "What do you teach him, Spike? How to drink out of a blood bag? Or maybe you could give him pointers on how to dress better?" Okay, I know he's joking, but I've had enough. Angel wants to vanish into the shadows permanently, and I can feel his pain like it's a real knife digging into my brain. I grab Xander by the throat and hold him still. I'm going to have a killer headache at the end of the day.

"You insult my Childe, you insult me. Do you really want to do that?"

"You can't hurt me," says Xander. I know he means the chip. It hasn't fully incapacitated me because I don't actually mean the boy any harm. Still, it's giving me the start of a mind-blowing headache. I hope Angel damn well appreciates this. I am supposed to be the big bad. Not the big softy for my Childe. Still, he feels damn good. Good enough to put up with a little change of their perspective. I am still protecting my own interests - Angel's just one of them now.

"No, but I can order my Childe too to. He'll have to obey." I grin and Xander pales.

"Sire?" Asks Angel. I feel his hand on my arm. I think he gets embarrassed if I stand up for him. He's supposed to be the Dark Avenger. Yeah, right. Inside, I've discovered he is the most frightened, self-effacing, sad creature I've ever come across. Even compared to me, Angel is a total mess. I thought I was bad enough when I was first chipped. Angel is an emotional disaster. I can understand why he never wanted me to know what he was feeling. He's got so many little emotions and memories I could abuse. If I wanted to, I could spend years upon years torturing Angel. Just Angel, not Angelus. Good thing I don't want to. I don't want my Childe destroyed by anybody, not even me. He's mine, and I want him the way he is. Took me a while to work that one out. Well, maybe he could be a little less broody.

I let Xander go. I think I've made my point. They are a little surprised about how Angel reacts to me. His voice soft and his body submissive. They should see him on his knees. "I can... "

"Angel, sit down." I tell him; again to their surprise he obeys. Ha, they have never seen him do that before. Everyone is nervous and unsure what to say. I sit down with Angel and notice he's not looking at anyone. He's suddenly found his hands very interesting to stare at. Why did I think bringing him here would be a good idea? It seems to be going the way he expected. Him against them. I don't care what they think as I grab Angel's hand and hold it in my own. Contact is very important to a Childe. In some ways Angel is only 3 months old. He's still got strong sire/childe attachments to me. Well, that's what I tell myself (big bad remember!) Truth is, I like touching him. Giles notes our handholding but I don't pull away. I have to live with Angel day in day out. I don't want him brooding about this for the next year or so. So I continue to hold his hand and give support. Okay, so I'm getting turned on a bit by sitting next to him.

"So.." Giles starts. Still no one talks. Giles appears to be staring at our joined hands, which seems to remind him of something.

"Angel, you were human?" Angel nods. "Then Angelus is dead. Did you get another demon when you became a vampire?" Giles seems to catch on fast.

"I don't know," answers Angel, still not making eye contact.

"No, he hasn't. Angelus didn't return. Angel is a soul within a vampire body. No demon."

"How do you know?" Asks Buffy. She's staring at Angel now. I don't like it. I wonder if she wants him again. I am not letting him go. No way! Still, I might share. She's got a damn fine body, and Angelus/Angel always had good taste. Take me, for instance. I'll have to ask her later if things go well and we survive the upcoming demon. Still, no kissing and biting - his mouth his mine.

"Seen it." I reply.

"Oh.. Oh.. I know this one. It's all swirly colours, warm too and has these little clouds... " Red trails of off when everyone turns and stares at her. "When I did the soul restoration I kinda felt it."

"Yeah, well, that's what's in Angel and nothing more." I want to stress that part. Angelus is gone and they can't attach the past to Angel. Made that mistake myself. Nearly destroyed both of us. They can't blame him for what Angelus did. Still, I am jealous of Red. I thought I was the only one to see Angel's soul. I bet she didn't feel surrounded by him. Never felt him all around her, invading her very pores. Not like I have. Even tasted him on my tongue for days after, too.

Things go uphill from there. They have gotten over the shock of Angel being human and now a vampire again. Angel remains quiet, only answering direct questions. Still, he's not hiding somewhere in the dark, so I'll have to praise him later for not trying to run away from them. He just sits there next to me, holding my hand and playing with my fingers. The small gesture doesn't go unnoticed, but everyone's too shy to say anything. Or am I giving them too much credit? Maybe they don't know. Maybe they can't see that I love my Childe. I admit it, I'm love's bitch.

Back to the demon. We can't give Giles a lot of information about the demon in Cordelia's vision. It wasn't very clear. She also got confusing emotions from it. Like fear, betrayal, pain. As for the demon itself - her words were big grey horned thing. Which was very helpful. She saw us all fighting it - Angel, Buffy and me. She said it was in a big hall with funny windows and she could smell jasmine. Giles asked us for more, but that's about it. The rest of Cordelia's message was "end of world kinda thing that has to be stopped". We couldn't give them anymore details. None of the Scooby gang had come across any other trouble either. Basically they were just fighting the usual lot of vampires, and apart from that everything was pretty quiet.

We decided to end the meeting for the night. Angel and I offered to do a quick patrol, but Buffy refused. She said she wanted a little quality time with Riley. He had said hardly a thing all night. Just gave Angel the odd glance and piercing stare. Angel didn't seem to notice. Mainly because most of the night he had his eyes attached to my hand. It's strange having him all needy and clinging. Usually I have to argue, fight, and scream to make him do what I want. But I still can't get him to wear colours, no matter what I try.

We did have a little argument about where to spend the night. Giles suggested staying with him but I refused immediately. The other possibilities were the mansion or Angel's old apartment. Also not good ideas. They are far too attached to the past. Memories and grudges that neither Angel nor I want to revisit. I decide on my old crypt, which immediately puts Angel into a huff. After saying goodbye to the gang, we head off into the old cemetery. Angel moans under his breath all the way. He hates the cold. He hates the dirt. His car is going to get nicked (English for stolen) outside of Giles. I get the message he doesn't want to be in Sunnydale, but I want him to shut up.

Easiest way. Bite him. So I do, and he howls in indignation. Told you it wasn't all Pollyanna with us. We have our disagreements and fights. Like now Angel's questioning my judgement. Pushing me into not going back to the crypt and paying for a nice warm hotel room instead. Well, newsflash. We go where I say. So I didn't think about a hotel. Although I'm not going to make myself look bad in front of my Childe. So I can't back down. As I sink my teeth into his neck I can feel his anger through our bond. Not anger just at me, but anger at himself. He thinks he's weak because he didn't stand up to Xander. He doesn't want to be here. He's angry because he needed my support. Angry because he feels like my childe, and he needs me to be his Sire. Still he fights that need. Thinks he shouldn't depend on me does he? Well, I've got to put that thinking right. I like him dependent on me - it's one of the rules I think I gave him before.

When Angel's half-drained, I pull away. He's angry - well, almost spitting - because I used my Sire's right over him. He still doesn't like it much when I do. Angel sometimes gets this idea in his head that he's good at being in control. Bullshit. He's crap at it. Good thing he's got me to show him how to do it right. If not, he'd be going insane dealing with humans, Wolfram and Hart, and all that on his own. Angel can kill and shag like the best of them. One thing he can't do, though, is effectively control others. It all falls apart in time. He gets these ideas that people are better off without him. That everything's his fault. He then goes and does something heroic and stupid, then gets tremendous guilt. Well, I'm saving him from that. I'm saving him from himself. Even if he won't admit it. If I weren't around, he would have fired his crew by now. One thing I've learned. I'm good with control, yet a total disaster with plans. Can't understand why. Maybe it's because I get bored to too quick. I have a short temper, I know. Like now - I've just lost it.

"Tell me!" I grab his hair and pull his head back. He's on his knees where I like him.

"I'm yours, Sire," he gasps.

"Damn well don't forget again." I crush my mouth to his. I slice my tongue open on my fangs and shove it down his throat. Angel moans, not from anger, but his sudden rising passion. I'm thinking about taking him here in the middle of the cemetery. Suddenly I draw away. Something's not right. I feel as if we are being watched. By someone familiar. I pull away from Angel and draw him up unsteadily on to his feet. Guess I took a little too much. Still, the crypt isn't far, and I will make it up to him. Got some praising to do because he was good at Giles.

*****
Part 3:

Angel's POV:

I hate when Spike does that. When he knows what I am thinking and feeling. He knows I feel bad about being here in Sunnydale. I guess he felt I overstepped his boundaries and had to punish me. Still, I suppose I was acting childish. Ever since we got here I have had this feeling something bad is going to happen. Sometimes I feel like I bring it with me. That I am the cause of everyone's misery. That I am not in control enough. Should have remembered that is a touchy issue with Spike. As soon as he feels I am questioning his rights, then he clamps down on me.

I wasn't pleased when he bit me, no matter how good it feels. I like it better when he kisses me. Suddenly he's pulling away, and I feel it too. Someone is watching us. I can't tell whom since they are good at hiding themselves. I allow Spike to help me into his dirty crypt, and we tumble inside.

Spike quickly shuts and locks the door before he attacks my mouth again. His hand grabs my hair and pulls my head back. I feel the prick of his teeth again and moan deep in my chest. The unknown presence is quickly forgotten as my Sire takes his pleasure from me. His hands clutch at me as he continues to drink, and he starts pulling at my clothing. I get the message quickly and help him undress me.

"You were good Childe," he compliments me as he pulls away from my throat. I gasp weakly and moan as he moves away in frustration. He can't leave me like this. Almost drained and unable to move. He doesn't, however, but just moves lower until I feel his mouth engulf my cock. Oh god, he can't mean to do what I think he is. He does. He takes me deep into his throat and worms one finger into my hole. Drained and under my Sire's control, I don't last long. Minutes later my orgasm is rushing down his throat. One thing about being drained and having an orgasm is that its it increases the sensation 100 fold. It feels as though my body is ripped apart from the inside. I can hear myself screaming until my throat is raw. The burning pleasure rips through every muscle and limb. My body arches off the floor and I feel my back cracking. I know I passed out, and when I come to my body throbs with overuse.

"Like that Childe?" Asks Spike, while running his fingers through my damp hair. I can't talk because I haven't fully gained control of my body yet. I nod as best I can and lie limp and used beneath him. Still, I don't think he's finished with me yet. When did Spike get so good at this? When I was Sire; I never believed he would make a strong, masterful vampire. He did, however, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. He knows exactly which buttons to press with me to get his desired response. Spike moves over my body and I know what he wants next. I feel him lift my legs and use his own blood to lubricate his cock before he just slips inside.

"Drink, Childe." He knows I won't - can't - refuse his offer. I'm so deeply bound to him I don't even try to fight it anymore. Sire's blood is the most potent, seductive drug to a vampire, and I'm addicted. He holds my head as I sink my fangs deep into his jugular. The first draught of his blood makes me hard again. When he feels me drink, he starts to move within me. Sometimes I wonder if this is my redemption. That I was meant to be Spike's Childe. Sometimes when it's like this - when it feels as deep as this - everything is right in my world. As it should be. Sometimes I fear what will become of me. I am addicted to Spike. Totally and completely. I might not be totally submissive and obey him, but I do need him. I fear that Spike will tire of me. That soon he'll remember that he hates me and will leave. I don't know if I can survive without him. He broke through the walls I had built around my heart. He made me dependent on him. I don't exactly like it because it gives him far too much control. Too much power. Too many possibilities to destroy me. It gives me fear too. Fear that this is still a game he's playing with me.

Too soon I feel my orgasm building again and Spike is pulsating within me. Any second now I know he's going to bite me again. The feel of which will make me come. He does and I do. I feel him fill me to overflowing and then he collapses onto on top of me. It's strange that such as a lithe body could contain so much strength. Ever since he turned me he's even stronger than I am. I hold my Sire to me as he gently dislodges my fangs from his throat. Then I remember where I am lying. I try and rise from the dirty floor but Spike growls.

"Sleepy," he murmurs.

"It's dirty!" I complain.

"You want me to bite you again?" I lay still again. Guess I can sleep on a dirty floor for once.

Spike's POV:

I chuckle softly to myself as my Childe lies back down on the floor. It's dirty, cold, and a little uncomfortable. Everything that Angel doesn't like. He likes clean, comfortable beds; even did as Angelus. I draw him to me and he rests his head on my shoulder. I like this - it feels homey in a way. I let sleep take me, but I still have that feeling of being watched. Still, too tired to stay awake.

Pain brings me back into sudden consciousness. Awake in a position I know I wasn't in when I went to sleep. I'm a little disoriented, but I can tell I'm chained up somewhere. I try and rub my eyes but my hands are securely manacled to the wall. It's a cold, damp, stone wall. Not the crypt - somewhere else. Somewhere familiar. It looks like a dungeon. Part of an old stone castle. My attention is drawn again to the pain when I feel a leather whip slash against my skin. What the hell is going on? I yell out in anger and turn towards my abuser.

Oh, god. No. No. No. This isn't right. There standing before me is the demon that created me. Angelus in all his glory. Long dark hair, eyes like needles, and clothes stained with my blood. Angelus smirks at me and raises his whip again. I know this has to be a dream because he's dead and this place was burned to the ground over a hundred years ago. I should know - I burned it down. This is the place Angelus brought us to when I was but a fledgling. Just after I did my little massacre in London and then Yorkshire. He brought me here to teach me who my master was. It was days of endless pain and suffering on my part. Great joy and pleasure on his.

"Let me go, you bastard. You're dead!" I scream at him. More for my own sake than his.

"Am I Spike? Really? I don't think so. I think that I'm lying in your arms right now." I get this mental image of how I went to sleep with my Childe. My Childe's head resting on my chest and laying in my arms. "I think I'm just biding my time until I can bring you down again. You might be my Sire, Spikey... " He laughs and brings the whip down. I howl as it cuts deep into skin and muscle. "...but you will never control me. This is just a game where you fall in love and then I rip your bloody heart from your body." He laughs loud and long. Laughter that burns though my mind and my heart - burns it stone cold.

"I could never love a snivelling idiot like you Spike. You're weak and useless. You aren't even a proper sire. I won't ever submit to the likes of you."

I scream obscenities and hatred at him but his words have cut deep. They are my greatest fear. Fear that my Childe could never love me. Fear that even now - in sleep - he is planning my destruction.

Suddenly the scenery changes and I'm standing in a Victorian sitting room. There before me is my biggest shock. Sitting in Victorian dress and hairdo is Darla. Angel's dead ex-Sire. Why would I dream of her? I hate the bitch.

"Hello, William."

"Darla? Why would I dream of you?" I ask myself more than of her. I don't think I've ever dreamed of Darla. Darla laughs and looks up at me. What's going on? This is the strangest dream I've ever had.

"You know why I am here, William. It's all to do with Angelus, you know that. You might be his sire now, but I always knew him better that you did."

"Angelus is gone. Angel is my Childe, you never knew him. Threw him out if I remember correctly."

"Silly boy. He'll always be Angelus. That won't ever change no matter what he calls himself. Deep down he'll always be him; he can't be any different. Even before I changed him, the darkness was always there."

"You're lying." Okay. I admit she's getting to me. Opening all those doors to my fears and worries. I have tried desperately to separate Angel from Angelus for the last few months. They are different and I have to believe that. If he's Angelus I can't love him again. I can't accept him again. "Angel is the soul, not the demon!"

"Yes, and what did the soul do?" Suddenly my mind is overpowered by flashbacks of my previous dealings with Angel. Angel when he was the Slayer's lap dog. Angel as he tired tried to stop Dru and me. Angel when I got crushed by that damn organ. Angel who tried to kill me.

"No, you're changing my memories! They're all taken out of context." The visions stop and I'm back in the sitting room. Darla stands up and moves towards me.

"Poor boy, you don't see it." Suddenly the visions come again. This time of Angelus. What he did to me as a fledgling. What he did to me in that wheelchair. How he destroyed me piece by piece until there was nothing left. I feel tears prick my eyes. The memories are overwhelming. They are too strong. Too hurtful.

"This is what your Childe is. This is who he is, and has always been. Nothing's changed. He's fooled you into a false sense of security. Isn't that what Angelus used to do to you? Make you love him and then take you apart chunk by bloody chunk." I howl in anger and fury as I push her away from me.

"He's really got you running in circles, hasn't he? Don't know which way is up, do you?" She starts laughing. The images of past and present fill my mind. I can't escape them. She leans in close and smiles at me. Her voice is just a whisper. "He's just waiting until you're weak and you have let your defences down. Then... " Her voice gets lower and she leans into my ear. "Then he's going to gobble you up." She makes a smacking sound with her lips and roars in hysterical laugher.

I scream and scream and... I jump upright and with a panicked look round I realise I am back in the crypt. My body trembles and I feel nauseated. I smell sex and Angel in the air and it sickens me. I look down at my Childe who lies beside me, still asleep. His face soft and relaxed. His face is a lie. It's just a mask he wears to fool everyone - to fool me. I shake my head and push myself away from him. I find a fag in my jacket pocket and light it.

That dream really got to me. Got me thinking again. Looking at what I've been doing for the last 3 months. Is it true? Has this all been a lie? This wouldn't be the first time Angelus has fooled me. He's good at playing the game. Good at fooling his victims until you trust him and then he'll drain you dry. The longer he sleeps, the more agitated I get. The more my anger builds. I know he's planning on betraying me. I know he thinks I'm weak. He thinks given enough time, he'll dominate me again. He'll turn me back into the Childe again. Well, to hell with that. I've had enough of these fears. I'm going to show him I'm not weak. Not even his puppy dog look will get him out of this one. Angel comes awake with my first strike. He's disoriented but still tries to avoid my second.

"Sire, what... ?" He's not allowed to talk back. I strike him again hard in the face and he spits blood. He tries to kick out at me but I catch his leg. Trying to fight me, are you? Trying to escape your punishment? Questioning my right as Sire! I twist his leg hard hearing the bone scrape. Angel yelps and tries to hit me again. This time I'm ready. I grab his arm and quickly wrap the chains I have ready around his wrist. Then the other arm. Seconds later, I have his hands secured. There is fear in his eyes - good. If he fears me he'll be less inclined to fight me.

With a little struggling on Angel's part, I manage to chain him and attach him to a hook in the ceiling. I don't like his questions, so I gag him too. He looks so good hanging there before me. All of his fine smooth body displayed for my inspection. For my punishment. Thinks he can fool me, does he? Thinks I am weak? I'll show him how weak I am.

*****