*****

DJ Collins sat back in the shade during his lunch break and considered his companions. They all worked together for Thomas and Sons Construction Company.

The first and foremost was his life-long friend and co-trouble maker, Rich Davis. He'd known Rich since the two of them were five years old and Rich moved in across the street from them. For DJ, Rich's arrival in his life was a godsend. The youngest of five kids, he was also the only boy and it was a welcome relief to *finally* have a boy to play with. Only two inches taller than himself, Rich had topped off at 5.8" and they both shared the same deep tans and sculpted musculature that can only come from many hours spent in the gym. Now that they were working full time doing hard manual labor those hours spent lifting cold iron in endless repetitions had been cut back, but not cut out. Rich was the brother he had never had.

He was also very beautiful. Thick brown hair clipped short in the style of the day and clothing that was chosen with great care. Rich worked hard to project the image of a suave womanizer. What was worse, that image wasn't far off the mark. Rich's pretty face and sculpted body drew woman to him in droves and he was forever trying to fix DJ up with his castoffs.

Then there was Bert Chambers, Master Electrician and his brother-in-law. It was Bert who had gotten both he and Rich hired at Thomas and Sons and it was he who had given his parents their first grandchild. It was a firm belief in his family that Bert could do no wrong. The man was tall, intelligent and calm during even the worst situations. He drank beer in moderation so he rarely made a drunken ass of himself in public and he was a whiz with the backyard barbecue. Bert could fix anything that was broken and he was charming around the ladies. DJ was never really sure if he was jealous of the handsome and confident man or if he was proud to have him as family. Some days it was a tough call.

Then there was Tom "the Rock" Matthews. Rock was someone that they had met when he started working for Thomas and Sons and he had taken a liking to Bert. Rock was a *huge* mountain of a man. Easily as tall as Bert, he hovered around 6.1" and his shoulders were wider than wide. Rock's thighs were bigger around than DJ's waist and he was covered in tattoos. Rock regularly shaved his head, had both of his ears and his tongue pierced and he wore a thick dark goatee. He was a frightening man.

The thing with Rock was that his image of a tough guy *wasn't* an image. It was the simple truth. Born and raised in LA, Rock had worked as a bouncer at a club. According to Rock, things had been going great until the club had been raided by the cops. Rock was arrested and served 18 months in prison. When he was finally released, the club was closed, he was divorced and many of the guys he had known were either in prison or dead. His grandmother had worked out a deal with his Parole Officer to have him come to Sunnydale and get a job using the skills he had been forced to learn on the inside. So, here he was at Thomas and Sons laboring as a masonry worker.

With the exception of Rock, they were all good guys and he enjoyed their company for the most part. There was only one little tiny problem.

Xander Harris.

Harris was another coworker here at Thomas and Sons. He did carpentry work and the buzz around the crew was that he was destined to go places if he continued to show such potential. The foreman was slowly grooming him to go from a regular carpenter's assistant to a Master Carpenter. DJ had to admit, the guy had talent with working wood.

He was also a gay man that lived openly with his male lover. And *that* was what caused all of DJ's problems.

DJ wasn't sure if it was just the knowledge that Harris was gay that caused all those nasty dirty thoughts to swirl through his mind, or if it really was the deep dark eyes and the friendly easy going smile on those soft full lips. Maybe those unwanted and unasked for feelings came from knowing that Harris would be flattered by and perhaps even interested in flirtatious attention. Or maybe they came from watching his strong lean and healthy body bending and lifting all that wood. Whichever, DJ just wished it would stop.

Watching and working with the dark haired man was pure torture for DJ. He was constantly finding himself staring off into space imagining what it would be like to feel those big strong calloused hands running along his skin, touching him, petting him, pulling him in close or what it would be like to have those soft full lips kiss and suck on his own lips. Afterwards he would yank himself away from those thoughts, frustrated with himself and angry at Harris for causing him to think like that. He would flip between guilt and self loathing.

He *shouldn't* think those thoughts. He *shouldn't* want those fleeting daydreams to come true. It was wrong. So very very wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. He was a guy. And guys were *not* supposed to lust after other guys. His family would disown him. His friends would abandon him. His whole world would come crashing down around him, drowning him in pain and loneliness.

No amount of joy could possibly be worth that pain, could it? No. He'd just keep on dating all of Rich's extra girls until he found one that would make those thoughts and feelings disappear. There had to be at least *one* girl out there that could do that. Right?

Suddenly DJ was yanked out of his thoughts by a sharp elbow in the ribs. Turning his head slightly, he scowled at his best and oldest friend in the world. Rich was smirking, a superior and nasty expression twisting his normally beautiful face.

"Look man, it's the company fag."

Turning his head back around, DJ had a clear view of Xander Harris walking calmly and confidently across the construction site towards foreman's trailer. Rock also heard Rich and turned to look as well. The large ex-con snorted inelegantly and then made kissing noises in Harris' general direction. Rich, Bert and Rock began to laugh. An awkward smile plastered on his face to cover the sickening iron lump in his gut, DJ forced out a weak laugh as well.

*

Normally it wasn't safe to wander around Sunnydale late at night. Weird things happened and lots of people had been known to turn up dead or just disappear into thin air. Most folks just attributed it to being too close to several urban areas and dense cities, but it was still not a good idea to press your luck. However, there was no way that any of them were sober enough to drive anywhere.

The evening had started out with DJ and Rich showing up at the Main Line Pike Bowling Alley to support Bert's league team. They had made it to the championship levels and it looked like they could win the annual trophy. Just two more teams to compete against and the season would be over. Bert's team had won, placing them into the next round of competition. To celebrate, they had all gone over to one of Sunnydale's local taverns. That's where they ran into Rock.

Three hours of steady drinking, male bonding and promises to slaughter the other league team next weekend saw them all the way to last call and then closing time. After a brief incident in the parking lot that involved Rich falling on his face instead of getting his key in the door lock, they all decided to hoof it home.

Now here they were, walking around a corner that led towards the more residential areas of Sunnydale and who should be just walking around the far corner two blocks down? Xander Harris and his blonde love toy. His *male* blonde love toy.

DJ could easily hear Harris' loud delighted laughter bouncing off of the brick walls and the shorter blonde man with him was smirking up at him. The blonde was insanely beautiful, DJ had to give Harris that much, he's got *great* taste in men. Platinum blonde hair, long black leather jacket, carved cheekbones and a hypnotic accented voice.

DJ sighed and winced internally because he knew that this chance meeting would mean that he'd have to listen to endless gay jokes and slurs the rest of the way home. And he would be expected to laugh and join in. Even when they just made him want to cry.

He wanted to be angry with Harris. Somehow this was his fault. If Harris wasn't gay then DJ wouldn't feel all those unnatural things all day at work and he wouldn't be forced to hear all those hurtful things when his friends went off on one of their tirades. He just wished Harris would move away to LA or something. Then maybe all those unwanted thoughts would leave DJ alone.

That's when it happened. Not really paying attention to the four of them at the other end of the street, Harris' blonde boyfriend swirled suddenly and shoved Harris up against a brick wall. Plastering his own body flush against the carpenter, the blonde practically attacked Harris' mouth. The kiss was deep, wet, erotic and consuming, DJ could tell that much from way back here. What's worse, it stirred things up inside of him and he found, much to his horror, that his cock was rock hard inside his jeans. He almost moaned when he heard the snickering.

A lump of ice forming in his stomach, DJ turned his head and saw his friend, his brother-in-law and one of the biggest meanest men he'd ever had the displeasure to meet snickering and sneering at the two men kissing at the end of the street. His bad feeling about the situation got infinitely worse when Rock's raspy voice uttered the words that echoed in his worst nightmares.

"Looks like we found a couple of fags that need taught a lesson about what it means to be *real* men. Let's go kick their asses."

Then Rich, the guy who was almost a brother to him, the guy who was forever trying to help him find the "perfect girl" so that he could find some type of happiness unknowingly broke his heart.

"Yeah. Let's do it. You and Bert take on Harris and me and DJ will jump his little love muffin."

DJ barely recognized his voice. It was filled with hate and loathing and it sent a chill along his spine. Almost desperately, DJ turned to face Bert. His brother-in-law was often talked about by his parents as the "perfect man" and all of his other sister's boyfriends were measured by the standard he had set. DJ sent up a silent prayer that his normally calm and controlled brother-in-law would call a halt to this before it had a chance to turn ugly, but that was not to be. Whether it was the alcohol speaking or some deep seated hatred of gays, DJ didn't know, but that no longer mattered. With a sinking feeling in his gut, DJ watched as Bert cracked the knuckles on both of his hands and shrugged his shoulders a few times to loosen his muscles.

"Let's do it. We'll teach 'em that we don't want any fag-boys in our town."

A wash of nausea rolling through his innards, DJ watched as the three of them began to stomp off towards the couple. Horrible conflicting thoughts rushed through his mind. Would letting this happen stop his unnatural feelings and longings for Harris? Would his body stop betraying him and get in line with what he wished it would react to? If he stopped the guys from attacking would it make them turn against him? Would he then be the dreaded and hated gay-lover? Would it make *him* gay? *Could* he even stop it from happening?

Harris and his boyfriend must have sensed the danger they were in because they stopped making out in the shadows and came forward into the light to stand their ground. And still, DJ didn't know what to do.

Hateful ugly words flew back and forth between the two groups while DJ stood there scared, alone and unsure what to do. With each insult he felt as if a little part of him died inside and he wished that everything would just go away. He didn't know what to do or which way he should handle this.

Then, violence erupted around him. Fists flew in hard punches and feet kicked out in painful thumps. Shouts and pained cries echoed on the brick walls and still DJ hung back, refusing to attack Harris or his lover.

The blonde was growling and dodging away from Rich but he didn't hit back or defend himself in any way. The blonde just kept bitching about some "damn fucking chip" and "stupid phobic humans" while Rich screamed for him to help beat up the "fucking fag-boy".

Harris was a surprisingly good fighter. He had taken Bert out pretty quick into the fight and his brother-in-law was lying dazed against the far wall. However, no matter how good Harris was, Rock was better. He was a professional bouncer and a *huge* man physically. Harris was taking a bad beating and his lover wasn't doing any better.

Then suddenly, DJ had a vision of Rock beating Harris so badly that he died, leaving behind a grieving lover and friends while DJ was stuck with a clipped obituary newspaper article and gloating friends. It was horrible, sickening and wrong on so many levels. It was that vision that spurred his next actions.

Without true thought, DJ grabbed up a heavy iron manhole cover from the street. Unlike other cities, Sunnydale's manhole covers were never bolted down and anyone strong enough could pick them up. It was heavy and awkward, but DJ had spent his entire highschool career lifting weights with Rich and he worked at physical manual labor all day now that he had graduated. He was strong for a short guy and he had no problem lifting the iron disk.

With confused desperation running through his veins and setting his heart to racing, DJ snuck up behind Rock and smashed him across the back of his shoulders with the manhole cover. Rock fell to his knees. DJ hit him in the back once again and Rock dropped to the pavement like a stone.

Everyone stopped dead and stared at him in shock with wide eyes and their jaws hanging open. Then, DJ snapped.

"No more! I can't take it anymore! Just... just... *stop* it. They didn't *do* anything to you guys and you just keep at them and keep at them and it has to stop. Now!"

Dropping the manhole cover, DJ began to back away, his face pale and his hands trembling. Confused and shocked, Rich turned to him.

"DJ? What the fuck, man?"

"Just... just leave me alone!"

And with that, DJ turned and ran back down the street. He didn't know where he would go or what he would do, he just knew he *had* to get out of there. Out of Sunnydale. Away from the confusion and the pressure and the need to be someone that he wasn't and frankly, didn't even like. Tears streaming down his cheeks, DJ Collins disappeared into the night.

*

Six Years Later

"Hey Harris. Come on over here and meet the architect that designed the plans for this building."

Xander turned to look over his shoulder and nodded. A few brisk orders to his crew and the Master Carpenter was jogging on over to where DJ stood with Frank Thomas Jr. He was a little bit on the nervous side. This was the first time he had returned to Sunnydale in over six years and the last time he had laid eyes on his former crush had been when his friends had decided to indulge in some gay bashing. He wondered if the man would remember him and if he did, would he remember him kindly?

DJ watched Harris as he came closer and was struck by the fact that the man was still sinfully beautiful. His hair was thick and curly and his eyes were still dark. He had added some muscle over the years and his face seemed older, wiser, but not unhappy or unfriendly. He looked good. Damn good. Sexy.

Harris slowed his jog to a walk and then stopped right in front of him. Frank Thomas Jr. smiled and began the introductions.

"DJ, this is Xander Harris and he's one of our best carpenters. In fact, he runs his own crew. They'll be the ones to do all the framing and woodwork on your building. Harris, this is the site architect, Mr..."

Frank never got to finish because Harris cut him off.

"DJ? Is that you?"

DJ smiled slightly and nodded, unsure how his presence would effect the other man. He was pleasantly surprised when Harris broke out into a broad smile and captured his hand for a firm friendly shake.

"Wow. I haven't seen you for *years*, man. What did you do, take off for college somewhere else? I would've known if you studied here at Sunnydale U."

A knot of tension unwound itself in his stomach and he relaxed. Offering up a semi-shy smile, DJ nodded his head and waved a vague gesture in the air.

"Yeah. UCLA. I just had to get out of town, you know? Lots of issues to deal with and things to sort out. I couldn't do that here at home, so... I went off to school and figured out who I was."

Harris' smile got even bigger.

"Good for you, man. That's great to hear. So... are you moving back to Sunnydale or are you just here for the project?"

Harris waved behind him at the raw bones of the building that was just beginning to take form.

"Just for the project. I'm doing the commuter thing. Come into town for a few days here and there just to make sure that things are running smoothly and then back to the city."

Harris nodded his head and grinned.

"While your in town sometime you should stop by for dinner or something. We could catch up with each other. I'd like to hear what's going on with you."

DJ smiled and tilted his head slightly. He paused for a brief moment before he spoke next.

"Sure. Could I bring along my boyfriend Jared?"

Harris chuckled and nodded.

"That'd be fine. Will and I would love to have you both over."

DJ frowned slightly in confusion.

"Will?"

A flash of haunted pain flickered briefly across Harris' face and then it was gone as if it had never been there.

"Yeah. You remember him. He was the blonde guy from... that night."

DJ's body clenched up briefly as his memories assaulted him with images of the night he had finely admitted, if only to himself, that he was gay. It was the night that he first stood up for gay rights and refused to hide who he was. Granted, it had taken a long while for him to get his head screwed on right after that momentous night, but he was finally happy with who he was.

He grinned up at Xander Harris once again.

"Yeah. I remember. And you're right, we *do* have a lot of catching up to do."

THE END