*****
Part 8:
The next morning, Xander woke late, grinning foolishly. It was a lovely thing, not waking up before the sun rose. That alone was worth the extra time, and the Saturday, that he'd put in at work. Having the day before AND the day after Thanksgiving off, plus the day itself, and then the weekend, was glorious. Between this and his trip just a few weeks ago, Xander felt almost spoiled. Especially since this time the days off didn't count against his leave.
Xander rolled out of bed and got ready to go out. He needed to go by the grocery store, as well as a few other places. He figured that he and Spike would enjoy the holiday, if for no other reason than to spite his friends. He stopped on that thought. No, that wasn't right. He was going to enjoy spending time with Spike, and it didn't matter what his friends were doing.
"Well, I'm off running errands. Need anything?" Xander asked Spike, who was engrossed in a tape of Passions he'd recorded the day before.
"Pack of fags." Spike said, paying no attention to the human. Xander smiled and left the apartment.
Three hours later, Spike opened the door to Xander struggling with bags and boxes. "You know, you could make more than one trip, pet." Spike said, grabbing a few bags before Xander dropped them. "Hells, you buy the store?" He wasn't sure what the whelp had bought, but there was plenty of it.
"Laugh all you want, bleach-boy. Make fun of me, get no beer." Xander closed the door and set his burdens on the floor in the kitchen.
"That's low." Spike looked hurt. Xander just laughed evilly.
Spike helped Xander put away the groceries, noting that he had not purchased a turkey. < Always hated the bleedin' birds. >
Xander spent the next few hours in the kitchen, making a couple of simple dishes and baking some brownies. Spike helped out, chopping vegetables and generally following orders. When Xander unearthed a blender from the back of one cabinet, Spike looked him, a questioning expression on his face. Xander shot him a toothy grin. "Just sit down." Spike sat down obediently at the bar.
Xander opened the fridge, pulling out milk and cream. He then turned to another cabinet and took down several bottles and a container of sugar. Setting these raw ingredients in front of the blender, Xander began pouring things into the container. Spike watched with cautious curiosity.
The sounds of the blender whirring startled the relaxed vampire. He watched the pale, creamy concoction spin around. The vampire could detect faint hints of rum and butterscotch, along with spices-nutmeg and cinnamon. Xander stopped the appliance, carefully pouring about half of the liquid into a tall glass. He set it in front of Spike, and then poured himself a serving.
Spike took an experimental sip. Flavor swept through his mouth. "Eggnog?" Spike asked. He hadn't expected Xander to make such a clich�d holiday drink.
"Hey, I like it." Xander said, taking a deep drink. Spike savored the beverage. It was actually quite good; Xander had flavored it considerably more than was traditional, and it was a far cry from the weak stuff sold at the grocer's.
Xander resumed his cooking; after a short while he presented a plate to the vampire. Moving around the bar, Xander joined him. Spike looked at his plate, and then asked, "Xanpet, what is that?" Spike pointed at a strange mash that took up nearly half the plate.
Xander smiled. "Cheese grits." At the look of non-comprehension on the vampire's face, he explained. "It's a Southern thing. One of my Mom's sisters lives in Georgia and she made it every year at Christmas. It's one of my very few good holiday memories."
Resolved to make the boy happy, Spike tried the stuff. Actually, it was pretty good, although it had an odd, grainy texture. The sharp cheddar, onions, and occasional hot pepper made a pleasant dish, very American. The other dish Xander had prepared was roasted vegetables. Spike could identify that; he'd cut up most of them. The onions, tomatoes, potatoes and mushrooms were flavored with pungent spices. Xander might be addicted to junk food, but he had decent taste when he bothered to cook.
.......
Pushing his plate back, Xander stretched contentedly. Dinner had been satisfying, the company comforting. They hadn't said a single word since he'd explained the grits, but then they hadn't had to. Sometimes presence was enough.
Xander went to wash the dishes while Spike wandered about the living room. When he looked up, Xander saw that Spike had lit candles all through the area. The ivory tapers contrasted strikingly against the dark red walls, and the flickering light cast deep shadows throughout the room. Xander smiled. He had a pretty good idea of what the vampire was doing. He hadn't quite decided just what he was going to do, though.
Spike lit a few more candles, and then turned on the stereo he'd installed in the corner. He inserted a disc and programmed the machine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Xander walking out of the kitchen. < Well, time to see how I did. > Starting the music, Spike silently extended a hand towards the human.
Xander saw the gesture; after a moment, he moved closer to the vampire. Soft, sighing music floated out of the speakers as he took Spike's hand. As they began to move, a deep voice began to sing.
"If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
If you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
take my hand, or
if you want to strike me
down in anger
here I stand
I'm your man"
Xander listened to the words, curling deeper into Spike's easy embrace. The words were a surer seduction than the finest wine. Spike brushed his lips across Xander's ear, singing along to the music,
"If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
If you want a doctor
I'll examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
climb inside
or if you want to take me
for a ride
you know you can
I'm your man"
The mortal trembled; Spike's bourbon-and-chocolate voice ribboned through his mind, wrapping around him, smothering him in sensation. The vampire had moved one hand to gently flutter up and down his spine, making Xander shudder. Something deep in Xander's mind unfolded, stretching comfortably. He shut his eyes, letting Spike float him around the room.
" The moon's too bright
the chain's too tight
the beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through
these promises to you
that I made and I could not keep
But a man never got a woman back
not by begging on his knees
or I'd crawl to you baby
and I'd fall at your feet
and I'd howl at your beauty
like a dog in heat
and I'd claw at your heart
and I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please
I'm your man"17
Spike's hands had strengthened in their grip on Xander's body. He pulled the mortal closer to him, reveling in the heat. Xander had not stopped trembling. The human pulled back slightly. Spike looked directly at him. < Time now. > Spike thought. What would the lad do?
Xander looked at Spike's face. There was a question, a single question, inscribed on it, in the sharp cheekbones, dark brows and sapphire eyes. Insecurity lingered within the query; once Xander would have denied that the vampire could possibly feel unsure, but the time spent with him these last months had cured him of that mistaken belief. Xander looked at those eyes. < Cold? No, hot. > He fell into them, swimming in a sea of crystalline azure. Want, need, desire, spiraling in his veins.
The vampire watched the human. Xander's pupils dilated and Spike could smell the beginnings of arousal emanate from him. Still, it was Xander's call; Spike could no more force the lad than he could kill him. The lack of control at that very moment left the vampire in a near-panic; he could work for weeks to get here, guide the whelp every soddin' step of the way, and have to stand back and wait at the last second.
Xander stood transfixed by Spike's eyes. < How long has he been planning this? > Xander thought back over the preceding weeks. He knew with certainty that at some point, Spike's prodding and flirtations had gone from trying to get a figurative rise from Xander to getting literal one. But when, exactly, had Spike decided to seduce him? Xander closed his eyes, laughing inwardly. It didn't really matter, did it? It could have been yesterday or last year.
Xander opened his eyes again, bringing his hands up to the blonde's face. Cupping those elegant cheeks, he lowered his head slightly, pressing his closed mouth gently against the vampire's cool lips.
Ah. Spike stood completely still, not pulling or pushing on Xander at all. Their eyes were still locked. Xander knew exactly who he was kissing; no illusions there. After a long moment, Spike moved his hands up and around, pulling Xander even closer. Tilting his head back slightly, Spike leaned forward and opened his lips slightly, deepening the kiss. Ecstasy flooded his body. < Ohh, so sweet! Warm, hells, he's so warm. >
Xander's eyes slid shut as a cool tongue traced his closed lips. He relented to the inquisitive tongue as it slid into his mouth. He tentatively stroked Spike's tongue with his warmer one. The sensation was exquisite; rough texture dragging against those sensitive nerves, a flicker at the roof of his mouth. He heard a low moan and it took a minute for him to realize that it came from him.
Spike ended the kiss, running his mouth over Xander's face, pressing light kisses over his jawline back toward his ear. "Xander?" Spike said, forgoing the clich�d question.
Xander stilled for a moment. He hadn't expected the courtesy. Turning ever so slightly, he said, "Yeah." He then traced Spike's ear with his tongue, dipping briefly before catching the lobe with his teeth and worrying it.
Spike sighed at the tiny bite. His grip on the human tightened. He rubbed his pelvis against Xander's, pressing his erection against the man's hardness. Xander groaned at the movement; after a moment, he returned the gesture, sliding his hands from where they had fallen on Spike's shoulders down to his hips, pulling the vampire closer to him. He thrust slowly, purposefully against the vampire, pressing his mouth to the skin below Spike's ear and sucking gently. The vampire howled softly.
Spike's neck was extremely sensitive; the slight suction drove him mad. He grabbed Xander's buttocks, grinding his cock into the human's. Xander reacted by releasing the vampire and yanking up his shirt, running his hands over Spike's cool, hard chest, flicking pale nipples.
Spike let go of Xander so the human could pull the shirt off of him, he then reached for the boy's shirt. Xander stilled his hands with his own, leaning in for another kiss. Spike wrestled his hands away from Xander and hooked his thumbs into Xander's belt. He pulled the boy toward the bedroom, dodging the sofa and end tables. Xander reversed their positions and claimed Spike's mouth again, still struggling towards the other room.
Xander felt the bed as he backed into it. Spike stopped pushing him and kneeled at his feet. Xander looked down, surprised. The vampire was unlacing his shoes. Spike gently pulled on one foot, which Xander lifted. The other foot quickly followed. Spike stood back up, having unlaced his own boots as well. The vampire brought a hand to Xander's face, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand. The other hand reached out, running around Xander's waist to settle on the small of his back.
They stood there for a full minute, just staring into each others' eyes. Finally, Spike broke the spell by tugging on Xander's shirt. "You're overdressed, pet." Smirking, the vampire pulled his shirt off, and then reached for the button of his pants. Xander did the same for Spike, unsnapping and unzipping those tight black jeans.
Spike growled as his erection was suddenly freed from its confines, then dropped his head to Xander's shoulder as a warm hand tentatively grasped his cock, stroking softly. He reached down, stopping Xander. "Too much, too soon, pet." The blonde quickly divested Xander of the rest of his clothes, and then removed his own. Standing there, Xander looked at the pale body in front of him.
< Like a marble sculpture. > Xander thought of Spike's body. The vampire was all hard muscles and sharp angles. Xander ran a single finger along the prominent collarbones, dipping down to tease one of the pale nipples he'd felt before. Suddenly, Spike placed both of his hands on Xander's chest, pushing him back on the bed. Xander complied, crawling back slightly until his legs were supported also. Spike followed him up, propped on his hands and knees.
Although Spike had seen Xander before, in his sleep, he appraised him again now in the muted candlelight coming from the outer room. The human was all smooth honey skin, beautifully curved, like a faun. Spike smiled at the comparison; he could easily see Xander running in a forest somewhere, carefree. Unable to hold off any longer, Spike claimed Xander's mouth once again.
The first kisses they'd shared had been heartbreaking in their gentleness; this one was somehow more so. Spike tasted every corner, every crevice of Xander's mouth, running the tip of his tongue over blunt teeth, memorizing everything there was to know of Xander's taste. Soon Xander wanted more; he sucked gently on Spike's tongue as he ran his hands down the blonde's back, scratching lightly.
Spike lunged down at the movement, grinding his body against Xander's. He growled, nipping at Xander's mouth, roughening the kiss. Xander thrust up against the blonde and grabbed his ass, pulling the vampire's cock against his.
Spike broke the kiss, panting. "Xan, have you ever-" Xander looked at the vampire through lust filled eyes. As soon as he realized what the vampire was asking, he shook his head 'no.' Spike dropped his head, swearing softly.
Xander brought a hand up, stroking Spike's forehead. "What?" He asked. What was wrong? Xander began to worry. What had he done? Fear began to invade his mind. He couldn't handle the rejection of another lover.
Spike caught the first taint of fear from the boy, an acrid tang in his nostrils. He looked up, seeing that fear and uncertainty reflected in whiskey-colored eyes. "Xanpet, hell. I want.Bloody hell!" Spike swore. After a moment, he tried again. "I want to be inside you, but it hurts the first few times, no matter how easy you go. Wouldn't matter but for this soddin' chip." Spike tapped his head roughly with one hand.
Xander closed his eyes, sighing his relief. < That's all? > He laughed. If that was what the vampire was worried about, well, there was nothing to worry about.
"Spike? Not a problem." Xander said.
Spike lifted his head, wondering what the whelp had found to laugh about. It wasn't the least bit funny. He wanted the mortal so bad he could cry. "Not a problem? You said-"
"I said I'd never been with a guy. Remember the toy box?"
A broad grin stretched across Spike's face in realization. He and the whelp had had quite a row over the toy box. When Spike had done his little redecoration, the demons had brought him a cardboard box full of sex toys. The vampire knew with one sniff that Xander had used them with both Anya and Buffy. Spike had promptly pitched the entire collection, jealous of the intimacies the toys represented. He did not want the memories around, not when he'd rather make new ones.
Xander broke the vampire's recollection. "An liked to.experiment. She-" Xander was cut off as Spike kissed him thoroughly. The vampire came at him with renewed enthusiasm, his hands everywhere. Xander did the same, touching, teasing, and tickling Spike. Finally the boy pulled away for oxygen. Xander looked at the blonde, trying to catch his breath. Spike shot him a wicked grin, then pounced. Xander's attempts to breathe were halted by a cool mouth wrapped around his aching cock. He gripped the comforter in his hands, his hips arched up.
Spike ran his tongue down the length of Xander's cock, reveling in the musky taste of the boy. < So sweet. > He dipped his tongue briefly into the slit at the head, simultaneously rolling Xander's balls gently with one hand. Wrapping the fingers of his other hand around the base, Spike began a firm suction, bobbing his head up and down Xander's shaft. He looked up at the boy, losing his rhythm at the sight.
Xander's body was arched back impossibly tight. Almost none of his back touched the bed; his body rested on his hips, ass and his shoulders. His eyes were closed in ecstasy, his mouth open, gasping for air. Not a single sound came from the boy; he was completely drowned in pleasure.
Xander was lost; his entire body was on fire, which made the coolness of Spike's mouth even more shocking. The suction, the motion of the blonde's tongue on his cock sent tingling pleasure throughout his groin. The smooth texture of the satin beneath him became rough against his skin; he could feel it catching on his shoulders as he arched under Spike's ministrations.
Spike had never had a lover so responsive; in just a few short minutes, Xander was senseless. He lifted his mouth from its willing work and crawled up to place a kiss on Xander's bruised mouth. The brunette calmed slightly, drawing in much needed air. "Shh.s'all right, pet." Spike whispered reassurances to Xander, stroking one hand through the sweat-damped hair. After a few minutes, Xander recovered enough to return the gesture, running a hand over Spike's back, dipping briefly into the cleft at its base.
"Y'ok?" Spike asked. Xander grinned in response. Taking that as an affirmative Spike moved with more purpose, caressing Xander's chest and thighs, pulling at the mortal's knees to kneel between them. He ran a hand down, behind Xander's balls, caressing the skin there.
Looking up at Xander's flushed face, he arched an eyebrow in question. Xander replied by tilting his head toward the nightstand. Spike reached over and opened the drawer, extracting an opened tube of lube. He looked back at Xander, who just smirked. Shaking his head a bit, Spike opened the tube, slicking up his fingers.
"Now pet, relax for me, hmm?" Spike said, running the tip of his index finger around the rosy pucker between Xander's thighs. Xander nodded, relishing the sensation. After a moment, Spike pushed the finger into Xander's body, pleased to feel him accept it without pain. Xander squirmed a little, and then smiled at the blonde. Spike then moved his finger in and out, twisting it, searching for Xander's prostate. Xander arched, his face falling into the now-recognizable lines of ecstasy that Spike had witnessed earlier. The vampire quickly inserted another finger, still rubbing against that sensitive spot. Xander gasped, a silent scream catching in his throat. He let go of the satin he had been gripping, reaching for the vampire desperately.
Spike stilled for a moment; when Xander once again lay flat back, he pushed another finger inside the boy's hot body, thrusting in and out slowly. Xander caught the blonde's eyes and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him over him. "Now, Spike." The vampire quickly spread more lubricant over his cock, and then leaned over Xander. He guided himself to the brunette's opening, pushing just the tip inside. Spike pulled Xander's legs up and over his shoulders. He rested his weight on his forearms and caught Xander's eyes. When the mortal rested his gaze in his, Spike pushed forward, slowly.
Xander gasped; he could feel Spike's cool erection forcing its way into his body; stretching him impossibly. The sensation hovered on the edge of pain, not quite there. Spike stopped, letting Xander adjust. At a nod, he pushed forward again.
Spike was seated in Xander to the hilt, the boy's tight, hot body clenching him cruelly. Spike gritted his teeth, furiously grasping for his faltering control. < Hells, he's killing me here. > He'd forgotten just how hot a human could be, how the pulsing of blood around his cock could feel.
Spike retreated slightly, and then pushed forward. Xander arched, groaning. The motion rubbed against his prostate, sending a bolt of pleasure straight to his cock. He pushed back on Spike's erection, trying to take more of him in. Spike repeated the thrust with more force, wrenching a soft scream from Xander.
"Spiiiiiike." Xander pleaded. Spike responded by setting a steady rhythm of slow, deep thrusts, rocking Xander gently. The brunette caught the motion, moving in counterpoint to the blonde. Spike moved one arm up, shifting his weight. He grasped Xander's erection, pumping in time to his thrusts. Xander moaned, pushing himself into Spike's hand.
Spike abruptly increased the pace of his thrusting. The heat and tightness of Xander's body was maddening; he could feel his control slipping, his face changing. He let his head fall to Xander's chest as he slipped into gameface.
Xander watched the struggle through hooded eyes, saw Spike contort his face to hide the demon. When the blonde fell forward, Xander reached up, lifting Spike's face to his own. He ran his fingers down the ridges lightly, feeling the cool skin there. Spike opened his now-yellow eyes in shock. "It's part of you." Xander whispered. Spike shuddered, bucking into Xander.
Xander felt himself getting close, his balls tightening. Seeing Spike in gameface above him had only served to arouse him further; knowing that the vampire had no more control than he did was gratifying. Spike was now slamming into him roughly, fisting him with equal vigor, rubbing a finger over the head of his shaft. Xander pulled Spike down, pressing their mouths together. He carefully ran his tongue along the blonde's lower lip, dipping inside his mouth to caress his tongue. Xander felt the sharp point of a fang; wrapping his tongue around it and pressing their lips tightly together, he sucked.
Spike howled into Xander's mouth. < Oh fuck! > He growled, pumping into Xander's ass. < So close. > Just then, Xander released the fang, only to push his tongue against it, splitting it, blood trickling into Spike's mouth. He roared and erupted, long spurts of cool semen shooting into the brunette's body.
Xander watched Spike throw his head back in orgasm. The blonde thrust in him once, twice, then stilled, filling him with come. The hand on his cock pumped cruelly; Xander tightened. He felt himself on the precipice, balanced on the edge. Then Spike opened his eyes and looked down at him. Glowing yellow mixed with sapphire blue, his face hovered between human and demon. It was too much for Xander, seeing his entire lover at once, and he came, arching back silently, his cock spurting hot come over Spike's hand and his stomach.
.......
Spike carefully pulled himself out of Xander's tender body. The whelp would be sore later. Spike grinned. Xander opened his eyes to see Spike licking at his come. He moaned softly; the act was outrageously erotic. With an evil grin, Spike dipped his head down and proceeded to clean off Xander's stomach. The young man giggled and curled slightly at the ticklish sensation.
After a few minutes of playing, Spike moved up and lay next to Xander on the bed. Turning his head, he caught Xander's eyes. "Regrets, luv?"
Xander considered the question. Did he have regrets? "Nope." He smiled softly at Spike. The vampire grinned back. "Well, maybe." Spike's face fell. Xander rolled over Spike, pinning him to the bed. He rubbed his body along the vampire's, enjoying the drag of skin on skin.
After a moment, Spike found his voice. "What?"
Xander opened his eyes at the question. He had been focused on the feeling of Spike's cock pressed against his stomach. "What, what?" he asked back.
"You said, well, maybe." Spike asked a bit shortly. < Don't say things like that and then forget it, pet. >
"Oh, that. I just remembered." Xander resumed his enjoyment of Spike's body.
Spike was caught between his annoyance at Xander's incredibly poor verbal communication skills and his equally beautiful nonverbal ones. The only problem was that the whelp was sending mixed signals. His body said, "shag now!" but his words said something was a bit off. Snarling, he said "remembered what?"
Xander didn't bother to stop his slow slide down Spike's body to answer the question. He reached between their bodies, grasping Spike's reawakened erection. < Vampires must have no damned recovery period. Lucky bastards, > Xander thought. Spike snarled in frustration. Xander decided to relent, on both fronts. When his mouth was poised above the vampire's hard flesh, he said, "I don't know what you taste like," and deep throated the vampire.
< Oh sweet Christ. > Spike thrust his hips up helplessly. Relief and arousal washed through him together. The boy had been playing him, and quite well at that. He would have been annoyed, but the feel of that hot, wet mouth sucking him off was more than enough as an apology. He couldn't believe that Xander had taken all of him in the first time. < A natural, he is. > Spike thought, while he still could.
Xander sucked on Spike's cock, his eyes closed in concentration. He was lost in the feeling of that hard, cool, velvety flesh sliding on his tongue. Spike tasted rich and salty, slightly coppery. He could get addicted to the flavor effortlessly. Xander was going on near-instinct at this point; he could only copy what he himself enjoyed of oral sex. It seemed to be working; Spike was panting and threading his fingers through Xander's hair.
Spike thrust up into Xander's mouth, then forced himself back down, worried that he might choke the lad. It didn't faze him, however. The brunette kept up the punishing rhythm he'd set, sucking and licking his cock and squeezing his balls. Spike felt himself hurtling toward another orgasm. Then Xander snaked a finger lower, behind his testicles to the puckered opening there. He pushed a finger in, just a bit roughly, and twisted it. The human hit Spike's prostate even as he engulfed him to the root, sucking viciously.
Spike howled as he came, his face shifting into yellow eyes and ridges. He bucked helplessly, spurting into Xander's mouth. Xander pulled back slightly, catching the vampire's ejaculate and rolling it on his tongue. The human sat back on his knees and swallowed, catching the vampire's eyes.
Spike shifted his face back into human planes as he came back down. He watched Xander's throat move, himself caught as Xander had been earlier by the sheer eroticism of seeing someone else take into themselves such a primal part of him. He grabbed the mortal, dragging him back down to the bed and tucking the dark head into his shoulder. He wrapped himself around the boy, holding on tightly.
"Well?" Spike asked.
"Well, what?" Xander replied muzzily. He was a bit fuzzy after the exertions of the evening.
"How do I taste?" Spike asked, smirking. He could envision all sorts of evil games to play with the lad if he was always so woozy after shagging.
"Oh. You taste like Spike." Xander said, sucking on the skin pressed to his mouth.
"Very original, pet." Spike said, grinning. Yup, he was gonna have fun with this one.
Xander sat up, pulling away from Spike a little. He looked down at the vampire, suddenly serious. "You, this isn't just." Xander started.
Spike knew what the lad was asking. He had wondered when the old insecurity would set in. "It's more than that for me, Xan. That is, if you want it to be." Spike said, smiling a soft but genuine smile.
Xander grinned. It was what he needed to hear; Spike had a habit of knowing what Xander needed to hear, even if it was occasionally not what he wanted to hear. This time, though, need and want were the same, and Xander couldn't be happier. He reached behind the vampire and tugged at the sheets.
"Come on, blondie. I need some rest before round two." Spike rolled over, getting under the sheets as Xander pulled them about. He then grabbed Xander, bringing him under the covers with him. He settled the human on his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Xander curled up against that cool surface, sighing contentedly.
"Happy Thanksgiving." Spike said, letting himself drift off to sleep.
"Thanksgiving's tomorrow, Spike." Xander said, nearly asleep himself.
Spike just snorted.
.......
Strong hands gripped Xander's hips, holding him down as an agile mouth teased his navel. He struggled, arching up into the caress. The movement elicited a low chuckle from his lover, who easily kept him immobile as that clever tongue inched downward.
Xander groaned in disappointment as that mouth bypassed his aching cock. The groan turned into a scream as his lover's lips fastened on the sensitive skin behind his balls and sucked firmly, nipping at the tender flesh. The brunette thrashed, scrabbling his hands down to his lover's face. The blonde relented, moving up to bestow a deep kiss upon the boy.
"Like that do you, pet?" Spike said, his trademark smirk apparent in his voice.
Xander sat straight up in bed, gasping for air. His sudden movement dislodged his pale bedmate, who reacted by looking around the room for whatever had startled the boy. Seeing nothing, Spike turned back to the mortal, who was still taking in great gulps of air.
< Spike? > Spike was his mysterious blonde lover? < How the. > He'd been dreaming about Spike for months on end? Xander shook his head, trying to make sense of what he'd seen in his dreams. Yeah, he and the vampire seemed to get along ok; actually, considering the events of the evening, he and Spike got along really well. But those dreams were about someone who fulfilled him emotionally-a soulmate that cherished him. True, the dreams tended to involve sex, but there was that constant undertone of love. Xander couldn't believe his psyche had latched onto Spike as the source for that love. He's the evil undead!
The blonde vampire in question watched Xander warily. < Bleedin' hell, he's doing it again. > The boy probably didn't even know it, but he had the same look on his face as he did after that night at the Bronze when Spike caught him on the dance floor. The vampire cursed silently. It was obvious that Xander was having problems dealing with the night. Spike had hoped that the brunette would not regret the evening, regardless of what the boy had said before falling asleep. Apparently, that wish would not be fulfilled. Sighing, Spike rolled out of bed, searching for his clothes. Xander didn't notice Spike's departure. He was still trying to come to grips with his dreams. < Yeah, I've always wanted someone-that one person to make me happy. I just thought it would be. > How did he complete that sentence? A girl? A human? All his daydreams about his future looked a bit funny with Spike as his 'other half.'
The brunette knocked his head with his hand. < So what if it's Spike? > Xander's other mindvoice said. < He treats you better than any girl you've ever dated. > Xander jumped at the sound of his second voice. The first one said, < But he's a guy! An undead guy! > The second voice responded, < Didn't matter earlier, now did it? > None of Xander's mind could disagree with that statement. < But still, a vampire? > The second voice gained volume. < SO WHAT? On of your ex-girlfriends is a former demon. The most recent one, the one that used you as a fucktoy, keeps trying to replace her vampire ex-boyfriend. Your best friend screwed a werewolf. Your mentor father-figure shacked up with a Chaos wizard. This is special why? >
Xander's primary mindvoice cringed. He was right. What did it matter? Spike had treated him better than anyone ever had-be they friend, relative, or lover. So maybe he was destined to fall for a vampire. < Hey, let's see: possessed twice, split into two people, pursued by homicidal women, constant demon magnet.Nope, this ain't nothin'. > Xander's dual mental voices quieted, having reached a consensus. Spike was good for Xander, so they would cease their little war for the moment.
The boy looked around and saw that Spike had disappeared. He looked for the vampire as he slipped out of bed. Pulling on his discarded jeans, Xander made his way out of the bedroom. He found Spike curled up in the far corner of the couch, looking miserable. < What's wrong with him? >
Spike saw Xander exit the bedroom and stop in front of the couch, looking at him. < Here it comes. > The vampire knew he probably looked pathetic, but he couldn't rouse the energy to put up a cocky fa�ade. He fully expected to be booted out on his arse; he just hoped Xander wouldn't stake him. Actually, getting staked sounded pretty good at the moment; it would put a stop to the painful wrenching sensation of his heart breaking.
Xander moved to sit beside Spike. He reached over, gently tucking a wayward strand of blonde hair behind one of the vampire's ears. The vampire trembled at the contact, burrowing his head further into his curled-up body. Worried, Xander tugged at Spike's chin, trying to raise up his face. "Spike?"
Spike was disgusted with himself; he couldn't stop shaking. He wrapped his arms tighter around his legs, gripping them with cruel force. It hurt; everything hurt. He hadn't felt like this even when Dru had left him, certainly not when Angelus had gone. He couldn't understand how he'd let the boy in so fast, so far. Spike had learned long ago not to trust anyone, most definitely not to fall in love, and now he'd gone and done both and where had it gotten him? He couldn't even face the whelp.
The brunette could not budge the vampire. < Did I do something? > Xander was very concerned. This behavior was out of character for Spike; if the vampire was unhappy with the events of the evening, he would have given Xander a verbal lashing or just left the apartment. This odd breakdown was unnerving. "Spike," Xander repeated. "Spike, talk to me."
The quivering vampire was unresponsive. "Spike, you're scaring me here." Xander said, inching closer to the shaking form. Still, the blonde said nothing. The mortal could not see the vampire's face, so he didn't know if he even heard him.
< This isn't working. > Xander couldn't get through to Spike. What to do? Xander thought for a moment. < Um, guys? > Xander said to the now-silent voices that had taken up residence in his mind. < Little help here? > Hey, if they could iron out his insecurities, maybe they could work on a wacked-out vampire.< Hug. > Xander was so distracted he almost missed the single word spoken in his mind. It had come from his more conservative mental voice. < Hug? > Xander asked. < By the way, who are you? >
The voice grunted. < I'm you-Private Harris. Give the boy a hug. > The other mind voice chimed in, < Yeah, a great big hug. >
< Who are you? > Xander asked the other voice. < I'm you. > The first voice cut off the second one, < We're both you. You recognize me because I talk more, so you don't think about it. The other one is the hyena. She's been here longer, but she doesn't say as much. She makes you want chocolate all the time. >
< Oh shit. You two never went away? > Xander thought. < Nope. All that stress and depression got to us, so we started talking more. > < So, sometimes it's 'me' talking, sometimes its 'soldier-me' and sometimes its 'hyena-me' in my head? > Xander thought back dazedly. All this mind talk was starting to get to him.
< Yeah. Confusing, isn't it? Don't worry, we stay quiet most of the time. We're just along for the ride. > This comment came from the hyena. < I see. So you all won't be bugging me all the time? > Xander asked worriedly. < Nah. We're not going to make you schizophrenic or anything. > The boy sighed in relief. < I guess it's ok that you all are in here. I mean, how many people actually get a response when they talk to themselves? > The comment was met with chuckles from his mental voices.
Xander shook off the effects of his extended internal conversation and turned back to the vampire. Spike was still shaking and rocking back and forth. He reminded the mortal of the documentaries on trauma patients. The comparison worried Xander. Had something happened to Spike? Resolved to get the vampire to talk to him, or at least stop shaking, Xander gently wrapped his arms around his new lover, cradling the blonde against his chest. Pulling the trembling vampire closer to him, Xander started humming.
Spike felt warmth surround him as strong arms gathered him close. He was unwilling to let go, to look to see who held him, fearful that reality would intrude. It felt like Xander, but if it was, then Spike was hallucinating. Xander was going to get rid of him, not hold him. The vampire's rhythmic rocking was eased by a low humming emanating from the human. Spike felt the small vibrations and stilled, focusing on them. They reminded him of purring.
Xander felt Spike stop rocking and trembling. Hoping that the vampire would now respond to him, the mortal reached up to the blonde's face, nudging it up to where he could see his eyes. Xander gasped. What he saw shocked him to the core. Pink tears rolled down Spike's face, glistening in his deep blue eyes. "Spike?"
The blonde felt a warm hand tilt his face up. He opened his eyes reluctantly, not wanting to face reality at this point. What he saw was his precious boy, a look of shock and concern clouding his features. The vampire heard someone call his name. Reaching up with one hand, Spike stroked down Xander's cheek tenderly
Xander held in a sigh of relief. At least Spike was responsive now. When the vampire reached up to touch him, the mortal leaned into the caress, rubbing his face against the cool hand. He then returned the gesture, catching blood-tinged tears on his fingers. He caught the vampire's gaze. "Spike? What's wrong?"
The love and concern in Xander's voice broke through the haze surrounding Spike's mind. With lightening speed, the vampire reversed their positions, wrapping himself tightly around the brunette. He completely covered the mortal with his body, tucking his head into Xander's neck.
Xander was surprised by the movement but did not fight it. The blonde had surrounded him with limbs of superior strength; it was not unlike being hugged by steel rope. The mortal felt cold tears kiss his skin as the vampire burrowed into the crook of his neck. Wiggling a little, Xander managed to free his arms, which he wrapped back around the blonde, pulling him flush against his body.
"Spike? Um, wanna tell me what's going on here?" Xander asked from beneath the vampire. Spike said nothing in return, just squeezed the boy a little. Xander took the action as some sort of reply and remained silent. What was wrong with him? The human considered the situation, trying to replay the events of the last hour or so. What had been said? What had been done?
Then it hit him. He remembered their brief conversation before falling asleep, the slight uncertainty in Spike's voice. Xander then though about how he woke up-obviously unsettled and completely unresponsive, just sitting in shock on the bed. < Shit, shit, shit, shit. > Xander realized that had their positions been reversed, he would be in much the same condition as Spike.
"Spike?" The vampire was still not talking. "You didn't-you didn't think I was mad at you, did you?" Xander asked quietly. "'Cause I'm not. I'm happy you're here."
Xander felt the blonde relax a little, so he continued, now stroking Spike's back softly. "I want you here, believe me I do."
Spike lifted his head from Xander's neck. He looked down at the mortal, pink tears still visible in his eyes. "Why? What happened?" Spike said in a broken voice.
"What, when I woke up?" Xander asked. At Spike's small nod, he continued. "I had a weird dream. It kind of threw me off. Then I find you in here, all fetal on the couch. What gives?"
Spike dropped his head back down to Xander's neck. "Mmrph..." Xander couldn't make out what the vampire was saying.
"Um, could you say that again?"
"I said, I thought you..were having second thoughts." Spike said more clearly.
"I see. Well, I'm not. Why'd you react like that?" Xander really wanted to know what set the vampire off so badly.
Spike remained silent for a moment. Admitting what had gotten to him would be showing weakness, something that went against everything he'd been taught as a vampire. Still, this was Xander, his precious pet. "I thought you were going to leave." He said simply.
"And that set you off?" Xander replied confusedly.
"Everyone leaves me." Spike said with some force. "Cecily, Angelus, Dru. All of them. Said I was weak. Couldn't stand the sight of me."
Xander was stunned, not for the first time that evening. "Weak? How? You're the strongest person I know!"
"Right. When I was human, I was a poncy bugger. After I was turned, well, Angelus couldn't get rid of that fast enough. Thing was, it never went away. Always loved love, romance, even when the demon twisted it up. As for Dru, I couldn't be Angelus, so there." Spike fell silent.
"Oh. I like it." Xander smiled, turning to nuzzle Spike's ear.
"Like what, pet?"
"That. All that stuff they don't like. It's you. I mean, so what if you like love? I happen to think it's a pretty good thing to have around. Makes Thanksgiving a bearable holiday."
Spike lifted up a bit to look down at Xander. < Damn, why is this so soddin' hard? > "It's more than that, pet. What they hated was that I fall in love. It's a weakness."
Xander looked up at the vampire, a glint in his eye. "So you're in love with me?"
The blonde snarled. < Called me on it. > He closed his eyes, sighing. Opening them, he looked back down. "Yeah. Didn't mean to. Just happened."
Xander smiled a genuine, happy smile. "Still doesn't bother me. Like I said, love's a good thing. Helps a lot."
The vampire dropped back down to Xander's neck when the boy told him that it didn't bother him. < Not mad! > He should've known that such a thing wouldn't bother his boy; after all, this was the Xander who had continually shocked him the last few months, changing and moving ahead of the vampire. Spike ran his tongue down Xander's neck, sucking lightly at the skin there. "Helps what, luv?"
"Helps that you love me. I've been in too many one-sided relationships. It's good to have those feelings returned for once." Xander said, distracted somewhat by that marvelous cool tongue.
Spike continued laving Xander's soft skin. Eventually what the boy said sunk in and he shot up. "You-you don't mean that, pet!" The vampire was visibly shaken.
"Yeah, I do." Xander smiled back at the blonde.
"I'm the evil undead, remember? The same kind of monster you hated Slutty for loving?" Spike replied, still unsettled.
"So? At the risk of being repetitious, I've been involved with a praying mantis, a mummy, a cheerleader I hated, a slayer that tried to kill me, my best friend who's now a lesbian, an ex-demon, and another slayer that used me for sex. None of them could bring themselves to love me. I couldn't love them either. Its hard to love someone that doesn't love you. Trust me, I've tried. Take it when it comes to you, cause it's rare. Or something like that." Xander grinned. "See, I can use big words too!"
Spike smiled down at the boy. He wasn't sure how the mortal's mind worked and he didn't know if he ever would. Sometimes what Xander said was so convoluted he just sagely nodded his agreement. This time, however, he understood the gist of the human's words. For the moment, at least, he had the boy's heart as surely as the boy had his unbeating one.
"So, pet, what was this dream about?" Spike smirked at Xander's instant discomfort. "Hmm?" He returned to licking on the boy's neck.
"Um." Xander was embarrassed to discuss the content of his dreams with the subject of them, especially when he was distracting him with that damned mouth. "Well."
"'M listening, pet." Spike smiled as he sucked on a patch of skin on Xander's chest. He knew he was distracting the boy. The vampire didn't really care what the dream was about; he just wanted to play a little. The last hour had been rather stressful; it was now time for a nice, relaxing shag.
"Well," Xander began, resolved to tell the whole thing at once. < Get it, and the laughter, over with. > "I've been having these dreams for a while."
"How long?" Spike asked, licking around one nipple.
Xander tried to concentrate. "A year or so." He moaned as Spike moved to nip at his navel.
"What're they about, luv?" Spike dipped his tongue into Xander's navel, grinning at the resulting jump.
"Um, well, there's this person-do that again!" Spike had latched on to the skin on one hipbone, just above his jeans, and sucked, hard.
Spike did as requested, and then released the flesh. "And what was this person doing?" He leered at Xander. < Hmm.kinky dreams? >
Xander was having a really hard time concentrating, which helped decrease his discomfort at the topic. "Making me whole." He said, once again led astray by a very nimble tongue on his abdomen. "Making love to me." His eyes crossed as Spike found another section of extraordinarily sensitive skin and proceeded to devour it. "'S why I broke up with An. Couldn't stand to be with someone who couldn't compete with a dream."
Suddenly Spike was much more interested in the content of the conversation. He'd wondered why the whelp had given up as enthusiastic a bedmate as the demon bint. The blonde was also a bit worried. Evidently, the boy had standards-if he was willing to go it alone rather than be disappointed. "So." He returned to teasing the human, but kept an open ear.
"So I never could figure out who it was, until today." Xander said, groaning under the vampire's tongue.
"Ah. An' who was it, pet?" Spike asked with deceptive indifference, continuing to nip here and there.
"Hmm?" Xander moaned. Did he ask me something? Oh, yeah. "You." The brunette said, nearly incoherent from the vampire's ministrations.
Spike stopped as he realized what Xander said. < Me? > "Me?" He pulled himself up to look at the boy.
Xander opened his eyes at the question. "Yeah. Apparently my unconscious has wanted you for a long time, blondie."
Spike growled low and dropped his head to Xander's chest. He could feel his face changing. Tremors wracked his body as more long-dead emotions swept through him. < Bloody hell, boy keeps getting at me. > How did he do it? Just when Spike thought he had a grasp on the human, he goes off telling him things like this. The vampire wrapped his arms around Xander, crushing him to his chest.
"You're special, pet. Y'know that?" Spike said, keeping his face turned from the boy. Wouldn't do to look like a monster when you're trying to get him in for a shag, now would it? < Fuck it. > No sense hiding it; the boy didn't seem to mind.
The vampire abruptly stood, taking Xander with him. He swung the mortal in his arms, heading for the bedroom. Standing the boy up against the bed, Spike made quick work of removing their clothes. He leaned into the human, capturing Xander's mouth in a tentative, searching kiss. The vampire was still in gameface, his emotions too rampant for him to gain enough control to revert to human form.
When Spike finally released his mouth, Xander smirked at him. "I take it that's Spike for 'shag now?'" He was rewarded by being tossed on the bed with a growl. Spike jumped in after him, covering his warm body with a far cooler one.
"Ah, pet, my sweet pet." Spike ran his hands over Xander's torso, tweaking pebbly nipples. Xander melted into the caresses. Spike bent down, licking and sucking at Xander's collarbone. "I'd mark you, right here, if I could." He nipped gently at the skin. "Deep in the muscle, permanent like. Forever." The vampire latched on, sucking viciously. A deep red mark soon rose to the surface. Xander thrashed under the sensation, and then moaned when it ended. Spike's yellow eyes caught his as they opened, a question in them.
"Kill me?" Xander asked hoarsely.
Spike growled sharply. "No, not kill, not drain. Mark. Mark you as mine, only mine." The vampire brought his face right up to Xander's. "So everyone knew you were mine."
"Oh. Like a brand?" Xander said. Funny, the idea of Spike marking him didn't really bother him. Actually, it kind of turned him on. < New kink? >
Spike could smell the sudden increase in arousal from the boy and knew that Xander would accept being marked, if it ever occurred. He'd been worried; humans had so many hang-ups. But this relationship was not a human one, not by any stretch of the imagination. Spike was a vampire, a master vampire. He was by nature possessive. Xander was his and by all rights should bear his mark. The fact that the boy accepted it sent the vampire into a frenzy.
Xander simply surrendered to Spike's sudden onslaught. The vampire was everywhere, licking, sucking, fondling. The brunette tried to reach up to hold Spike but was answered with a harsh growl as his hands were pinned above his head. The blonde whipped his head up, capturing Xander's mouth in a fierce kiss. "Mine."
Spike knew he was being rough, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was the man under him. He couldn't mark him, so he had to make his claim some other way. That other way was to fuck Xander senseless, ensuring that the human forgot all his past lovers and never even thought about taking another one. It wasn't the same, but it would have to do.
The human figured that there was something more than sex going on at the moment. Xander knew it had to do with the insecurities Spike had felt earlier, and the vampire's frustration at not being able to claim him as he'd have liked to. The brunette was sure that Spike wouldn't hurt him, and if it was what his lover needed to be happy, so be it.
The vampire felt the capitulation. The demon roared in triumph. Spike spread Xander's legs, reaching for the lube as an afterthought. Vampires didn't use the stuff themselves; it was a concession to the fragility of humans that he even remembered it. Slathering his fingers in the slick stuff, Spike thrust one into Xander's body, hitting the boy's prostate as he stretched him.
Xander screamed, arching off the bed. Spike was scraping that spot continuously, twisting his fingers as he stretched him. The brunette felt a third finger enter him, loosening the muscles roughly. He moaned as those torturous fingers left his body, only to be replaced by Spike's cold, hard cock.
Spike rammed into Xander's body, barely restraining his full strength. He thrust into the boy, setting a brutal pace, aiming for Xander's prostate. Lifting the mortal's legs over his shoulders, Spike thrust deeper, trying to crawl into the addictive heat.
The human screamed, thrusting up uncontrollably, when he felt Spike change angles and go deeper. The sensations were unbelievable. He felt himself grow harder, his balls tightening. He was going to climax, soon, and without the first touch to his cock. Xander reached out, trying to find a handhold in the slick sheets.
Spike watched as orgasm rolled through the boy, feeling the exquisite clenching of internal muscles as Xander's ass milked his cock. Hot come spurted over his chest, leaving cooling trails down his stomach. The vampire continued thrusting, panting needlessly as he staked his claim over the boy.
The human felt every muscle in his body turn to jelly. The climax he'd just experienced was amazing; he thought he was going to pass out. Looking up, he saw Spike's beautiful demonic face contorted in pleasure. The vampire gave no quarter, continuing his relentless attack on Xander's body. The mortal was amazed to feel himself grow aroused again as those rough thrusts hit his prostate over and over. Reaching up, Xander drew Spike's face closer to his own.
Spike leaned down at the boy's behest. The mortal was flushed, panting, sweat rolling off his body. He was, the vampire thought, more beautiful than any painting or sculpture. The blonde howled when Xander suddenly pulled his face down and ran his tongue over the ridges on the vampire's brow.
Watching Spike's face, Xander pulled his lover down to him. He ghosted his fingers over the demonic visage, a tender counterpoint to the vampire's brutal lovemaking. Reaching up, he ran his tongue over those ridges, earning a soft howl from his partner. < Sensitive much? > Determining the sound to be from pleasure rather than pain, Xander repeated the caress, laving the firm, cool flesh as Spike began thrusting into him with renewed force.
The feel of Xander's mouth on his ultra sensitive skin sent Spike out of control. He was close to the edge, nearly there. Reaching between their bodies, Spike began fisting Xander's renewed erection, lubricated by the leavings of his previous orgasm. The human arched into the caress, his mouth never leaving Spike's face.
Suddenly, climax hit them both, churning through their over sensitized systems like a thunderstorm. Xander's face froze in a silent scream, his body wracked and arched off the bed, as Spike bucked and howled his orgasm, pouring cold seed deep into Xander's warm body. The vampire collapsed on top of the mortal, completely spent. Xander wrapped a tired arm around the blonde's back, stroking the soft skin there.
"Mine." Spike whispered, his face finally shifting back to human.
"Yours." Xander responded quietly, unable to muster any more strength.
Spike carefully removed himself from the boy. Reaching down, he snagged a discarded shirt and cleaned them up. He then moved them around until they were under the covers again, gathering Xander to him and wrapping himself around the warm mortal much as he had earlier. "Sleep now." Spike murmured. He sensed the human's heartbeat slow down until the boy slipped off into a deep slumber, exhausted by the evening. "Love you, Xander." Spike whispered as he, too, fell asleep.
*****