Two days `til Christmas and it blew up.

Oz wasn't sure exactly what happened but, before he knew it, Spike and Xander were at each other's throats. Xander had been on his knees under the tree, fixing a light that burnt out. Spike had come in and swatted his ass saying something about how nice it looked. Xander shot up, knocking the tree over. Oz had grabbed it before it hit the ground and found Xander nose to nose with Spike, yelling at him.

"Lay the hell off, Fangless!" Xander snarled, face coloring red.

"Lay off? Whadderya on about? Can't I admire the..." Spike looked genuinly confused.

"No! God, Spike! What is your problem?" Xander shouted, arms out.

Spike's eyebrows went up, then his eyes narrowed. "My problem? I'm not the knob who nearly totally scuttled the tree!"

Oz tried to interrupt but got a simultaneous "Stay out of this!"

He did, walking away until he heard the front door slam. The finality of it sent shivers down his spine. He laid his head on his arms and chanted his calming mantras over and over. It wasn't over, this was just a fight, everyone would cool down and it would be okay.

"Oz?"

Oz looked up and saw a confused Spike standing in the kitchen doorway. The werewolf opened his arms and Spike nearly threw himself into them. He laid his head in Oz's lap and sighed.

"What just happened?" Spike whispered.

"I don't know." Oz stroked Spike's head. "He's been... wigged about something for a while."

"It's me." Spike whispered. "Everytime I get near him he flinches."

"Spike, that's not..."

Spike rose. "Then what is it? He can't stand to have me touch him, Oz."

Oz shrugged helplessly. "I don't know. He won't talk about it."

Spike glared around the room. "Sod this. I knew it wouldn't work. A bloody fairy tale this is. Be at th' crypt if you need me."

With a swirl of black leather, Spike was out the door. Oz slumped in his chair. What was he going to do?

*****

Xander walked along, hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets. It was chilly enough that he'd wished he'd grabbed his jacket. Unfortunatly, Xander being pissed equaled Xander's brain not working.

"And tell me again why I'm mad? Spike likes my butt. Big deal. He's my boyfriend, he'd better like my butt." Xander sighed. "So I need to stop wigging over the touching of said butt."

It was the whole sex thing. Oz and Spike didn't seem to mind the not as complicated as Xander thought business of taking it up the ass. They really seemed to like it and he liked watching it. But when it came to it being him on either end, he panicked. Froze and wilted.

It was Jessie. Xander had been there when Jessie had been molested by their after school baby-sitter's boyfriend. The jerk had locked Xander in the bedroom closet, all the while telling him over and over as he raped Jessie, that he would be next. Only the girl coming in, screaming bloody murder and throwing a desk lamp at the guy had save Xander from Jessie's fate. Jessie had been in the hospital for three days and stiff and sore for another week or so after. The nightmares lasted until they started high school. They had been twelve and after that, they went to total latchkey kid status, neither set of parents wanting a repeat.

Looking around, he realized he'd walked to a playground. He sat down on a swing and pushed off. Spike and Oz were his boyfriends. That meant he could sleep safe and mostly warm between the both of them. That meant he should be able to talk about this with them. That they could turn to each other for comfort.

Oh boy.

"And I just blew the comfort meter." Xander laid his head against the cool steel chain of the swing. "I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, I think that about sums it up."

Xander looked up. Of course. A vampire, game-faced and huge, leered at him. Reaching automatically for the stake in the back of his jeans, Xander came up with... nothing. Shit.

"I don't suppose you'd take a rain check?"

*****

Spike kicked a can out of his way. Xander's constant rejection of even a simple caress had worn on him. Tonight had been coming for days, maybe even weeks. If Xander couldn't stand to have Spike touch him, then there was no reason to stay.

Except he loved Xander.

Well fuck.

He loved Oz as well and didn't that make matters even more complicated. Oz was right, there was something going on behind Xander's dark eyes, but he wouldn't talk about it. Until he did, there wasn't anything the vampire or werewolf could do for him. The ultimate in frustrations, knowing a loved one was bothered by something and not being able to help.

"Well then, Mr. Zipped Lips could say something. Any bloody thing would be good." Spike grumbled as he lit a cigarette.

Getting Drusilla to talk had never been a problem. It was making any sense of what she said that had been the hard thing. Harmony, getting her to shut up was the problem there. Oz, well he didn't say much but you just knew what he meant. Xander just hid behind the humor and false bravado anytime someone tried to bring up sensitive things.

"Sensitive things like `what are you moping about?' Hn, maybe I should try just staring at him `til he spills it. Worked on me when Angelus did it and I was as mouthy as The Whelp."

Spike shook his head. The start of a solid plan, one he'd put into action as soon as he got back to the apartment and apologized... argh... to Oz. The redhead would help, he was sure. Oz was very good at the quiet stare.

A yelp of pain and a growl sounded out from his right. Spike knew that yelp: Xander. He threw his cigarette away and raced in that direction.

He found Xander struggling in a sandbox with a hulk of a vampire. Spike didn't hesitate, throwing himself on the back of the attacker. They rolled out of the box and off Xander, who jumped quickly to his feet. A few moments of rolling, snarling and fighting, and Spike finally got his stake out. The vampire dissolved into dust underneath him, leaving him shaking his gameface off and slowly standing.

"You okay?" He asked Xander, not turning around, scared of what he might see.

"Yeah." Xander panted. "Just might need to change my pants. That was close."

Spike whipped around. "Damn right that was close! You left the apartment without so much as a stake? Have you lost your bloody mind?"

Xander couldn't help but grin. Spike was mad at him. In a good way mad. Maybe he hadn't messed up as bad as he thought. That thought, and the grin, faded as Spike turned away again.

"Um, I'm sorry. Even mad I shoulda known better." Xander said, looking down at the ground. "I never shoulda gotten mad in the first place." He finished quietly.

Spike snorted. "Yeah well ya did. Mind tellin' me what's so repulsive about me?"

"No, maybe... I don't know, Spike." Xander said, looking around. A small noise from Spike made him look at the leather clad back. He was hurting Spike terribly. "I don't know if it's something I'm ready to talk about."

Spike shook his head. "Well then, I'll be at my crypt when you figure it out."

Xander stared as Spike started walking away. He could see his whole world revolving around this one stupid moment. Could see him not stopping Spike, claming up and the vampire disappearing. Could see Oz and himself trying to work this out and finally, seeing the van door close and Oz driving away. No. No way.

"Spike! Please don't go!" Xander shouted and ran up to the vampire. "I'm sorry, I really am. I just... it hurts so bad and... Not here. Can we take this back to the apartment? If I'm gonna talk about it, I really only want to do it once. Please?"

Spike glared until he saw unshed tears in Xander's eyes. He was really torn up over something and it dawned on Spike that, for once in his selfish life, it might not be about him. He put an arm around Xander's shoulders and was even more worried when he found the taller man shaking.

"C'mon then. Let's get you home an' we'll talk, okay?" He said.

Xander could only nod and let Spike lead him home.

*****

Oz sat at the kitchen table still, letters laid out in front of him. Most were the ones Spike had written in Xander's name, but there were a few silly notes from Xander and a couple from Spike. Things like `Going to the store after work. What do you need?' with Spike's `The blond cashier would be tasty, thanks!' scrawled on the bottom. Or the one left the day after they all slept together the first time: `Hey, guess what? Coward Xander here. I love you both.' with Spike's `Ditto, Pets. See you after sundown.'. Hell, right now `Gone to Willy's. Poker night. Try not to loose you two. S.' had it's weird, heart tugging value.

Most of the notes had been written in the past couple of days, but Oz saved them none the less. He'd saved every letter, every lunchbox note from his mom, every `Meet at van for botany class' crap from Devon, he'd ever gotten. Letter were tangible connections to the people he loved, things he could look at and remember them. It helped him focus.

Too bad all it was doing now was making him freak.

What if Spike didn't come back? What if Xander didn't? He'd laid his heart on the line like this once: Willow. Everyone knew how that came out. His fault to be sure, but it still hurt deep inside. All his travels had been to get away from causing pain again, to keep from hurting someone he cared about. Struggling to keep control of the wolf and the violence his change caused. Yeah, he'd been told he was the only one to master his change in a hundred years, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it. Right now he wanted nothing more to strip off his mo-jo bag and go running again. Run, hide and maybe stay that way.

"Coward much?" He shook his head ruefully.

Xander was the one in pain right now and Spike was hiding something as well. He couldn't leave. They were his pack. He loved them. It really wasn't any more complicated than that and you didn't run out on those you loved. He'd learned that from Willow and a bit from Buffy and Angel. You stuck around and tried, dammit, and if that didn't work... If that didn't work you went to LA and became a detective.

He chuckled quietly. Okay, so that was just vampires cursed with souls. He made a mental note to go see Angel just to say hey. It had been a long time since he'd seen the Dork Avenger as Spike called him. Mental Note #2: Don't take Spike, violence bad.

Lost in his thoughts, Oz jumped when the door opened. He contained his nerves and walked to the living room, relief crossing his face when he saw it was Xander and Spike. Expect Xander looked close to tears and Spike's jaw was clenched tighter than a bear trap. Oz's nostrils flared as he picked up the scent of dusted vampire.

"What happened?" He asked as Spike set Xander down on the couch.

"Random vamp attack." Xander said, sighing. "Idiot me didn't take a stake when I stormed out. Sorry about that, the storming."

"It's okay." Oz said, sitting next to Xander. "But I'm getting the feeling there's something more going on here."

Xander drew a shaky breath. "Yeah. Um, boy is there. I... I need to talk to you guys about something."

*****

Oz shut the bedroom door and found Spike waiting with a cup of tea. It was such a British Gilesian gesture that he couldn't help but smile.

"How is he?" Spike asked, nodding towards the closed door.

"Sleeping. He's really worn out." Oz said as they went to the kitchen.

Spike nodded and got his own cup. "I can imagine." He sighed heavily as he sat across from the small redhead. "I feel like a total wanker."

"Don't. You, hell we, didn't know. Now we do." Oz said, reaching out and taking one of Spike's hands. "Question is, what do we do?"

"Kill the bastard?"

Oz chuckled. "That would be nice, but I'm gonna bet he had a few `special friends' in jail. Child molester always do."

Spike just growled a bit. "Well, if he's out an' in Sunnydale, he's a walking dead man."

"Okay, that I'll give you. It still doesn't answer the question." Oz said, sipping tea.

Spike lit a cigarette and exhaled at the ceiling. "Besides all the nancy rot? One day at a time, take it easy, random acts of bloody kindness, I don't know. Treat him careful, I guess."

"No." Oz shook his head, "We treat him the same. Like Xander."

"That easy then?" Spike snorted.

"No, but it's a start." Oz sat back and ran a hand through his hair. "And I think we should show him it's not, y'know, all bad."

Spike got up and started pacing. "We did that, at least I thought we did. Christ, Oz, he's been there everytime, he has to know..."

"How? Okay, so he sees we like it but he still has it in his mind that somehow, it hurts. That he'd be that guy." Oz stood as well, getting in Spike's way. "We... can... you?"

Spike smiled and pulled Oz to him. "Yeah, Pet, I can."

*****

"Are you sure?"

Xander couldn't believe what he was hearing. Spike and Oz had been snuggled up to him when he woke. Cuddling turned serious and then Spike, in a husky voice, asked Xander to take him. He stared at Spike, suddenly nervous.

"Never more, Pet." Spike said and slithered up to lay at Xander's side. "I want to feel you inside me." He purred.

Xander turned to look at Oz even as Spike's words sent a thrill of fear and pleasure through him. Oz smiled and pulled Xander in for a searing kiss. He broke it, nipping Xander's bottom lip and nodded.

"If you want." Oz said, "Only if you want."

"But I... Yeah I do." Xander breathed.

Spike grinned and pulled out a bottle of lubricant from the nightstand. He slicked Xander's fingers and laid back, pulling his knees up. Oz and he had figured that, if Xander could see his face, it would help. It seemed to, as Xander gasped at the sight of Spike laid out before him.

Oz took Xander's hand and guided it between Spike's pale cheeks. Xander seemed to snap out of whatever placed he'd gone and bit his lip as his fingers gently circled Spike's hole. His eyes moved up to Spike's face as the blonde pushed his hips up and mewled in need. Holding his breath, Xander gently pushed one finger in.

Oz sat back and watched the scene unfold before him. There was no way Xander could mistake the look on Spike's face for anything but pleasure. Spike's eyes were open, staring into Xander's as his hips worked, trying to get more. Spike's mouth was open, gasping and a croon escaped as Xander slid another finger in. Oz was struck again by how beautiful they were.

"Please, Xander. Now. Need you." Spike pleaded, unable to stop himself.

Xander looked around for the lube and cried out when Oz slicked it over his erection. A guitar callused hand worked him until he stopped Oz, not wanting to cum. Shaking a bit, Xander hooked his arms under Spike's knees and slowly sank into his cool body. He tried to be careful, to take it slow like he'd seen Spike do to Oz. But Spike jerked his hips and he was in, surrounded by grasping flesh.

Xander's eyes were huge, his breath coming in sharp pants, as he stared down at Spike. The vampire's head was thrown back, eyes shut tight, an expression of ecstasy on his face. Xander was stunned. He was making Spike do that. He was making Spike's back arch and his mouth work and... Oh God... it felt so damn good.

"Move, Xander."

Xander nodded absently at Oz and moved his hips slowly. Spike grabbed his shoulders and moaned, rocking up as best he could to meet Xander's movements. The brunette dipped forward, trying to kiss Spike, to get more contact, when Spike's eyes flew open and he clutched Xander tight.

"Harder. Right there." Spike hissed and kissed Xander hard, tongue invading and lips sucking.

Xander groaned into the assault and thrust his hips hard, driving his cock deep into Spike. He had Spike nearly bent in two, but vampiric strength wouldn't let him pull away. Just as he started to worry he was hurting Spike somehow, the vampire yowled and threw his head back again. Cool wetness splashed Xander's stomach as Spike's body tightened around him. Spasms coursed through Spike and Xander felt himself cumming. Distantly heard himself yelling as his nerves flared and his body tensed.

When his body unlocked, Xander collapsed ungracefully on Spike. Faintly warm arms pulled him close and his face was covered in messy kisses. His neck was nuzzled and he opened his eyes to see mostly pillow really, but some of Spike's now completely disarranged hair against his face.

"I love you." Whispered in his ear.

"Love you too, Spike." Xander murmured back and rolled to the side.

Spike rumbled in protest and pulled Xander close again. Xander allowed it, burying his face against Spike's chest. Then he remembered Oz. He raised his head and saw Oz smiling back.

"What... Oh man, I'm ... what about?" Xander said, as Spike looked over as well.

Oz chuckled and wiped a finger in the sticky puddle on his stomach. "I'm good. Pretty damn good. Gonna get a washcloth."

He rose and came back with a warm washcloth and towel. He cleaned the still entangled pair, pausing for kisses and light caresses. As he started to walk away, Spike grabbed him and pulled him into the bed.

"Nope. You stay right here, short man." Spike said, arranging Oz across his chest.

Xander laughed and wrapped himself as best he could around the other two. "Same goes for you, Spike. No sneaking off to the crypt."

"Yeah. You stay. End of discussion." Oz said, silencing any protest from Spike with a kiss.

"Preferably all the time." Xander said, stealing his own kiss.

Spike blinked. "Move in you mean?"

"Well duh." Xander quipped. "Surprised you haven't yet."

"I didn't... you never asked." Spike said, pulling his head back to look at both of them.

"Asking now." Oz said. "Spike, move in with us?"

Spike stared, brow furrowed. He wanted to, just didn't think they really want him around all the time. But now they were both looking at him, eyes beaming and hopeful. He felt his resolve to be the extra set of parts slipping under those looks. Felt his long unbeating heart squirm.

"I... Right. If I do, it's gonna be crowded around here." He said, lamely trying to dissuade the determined pair.

"Feels comfortable to me." Oz said.

"Yup. So say yes before I... with hold sex or something." Xander said.

Spike snorted. "Yes. Okay, there. But no leashes you hear."

Xander looked at Oz. "Guess I'd better take his Christmas present back then."

Spike laughed. So maybe this was working after all. He'd have to wait and see.

*****
Part 6:

Christmas Eve was spent at Giles' apartment, drinking eggnog and eating Christmas cookies. Gifts were exchanged; some silly, like the bright red light up tie Dawn gave Giles, some sweet, like the extra, sage filled, mo-jo bags Willow and Tara gave Oz. By the time they left, Xander was vibrating from sugar and excitement. It was nearly midnight and they'd planned on opening the gifts to each other when they got back home. That thought made Xander bounce in his seat in the van.

Oz chuckled. "Careful, big guy. Almost there."

"Dunno if he's gonna come down from the sugar buzz." Spike drawled from the back. "Maybe I should get the handcuffs."

Xander stopped bouncing and squirmed. That wasn't the safest of thoughts. The idea of one of them being helpless bothered him. It didn't help that it was also appealing. Maybe... something easier to get out of, like a loosely tied set of scarves, all silky and...

"Xander."

"Xan."

"Harris!"

"What?" Xander jerked up. "Oh. Heh. We're back."

Oz shook his head, smiling as he got out. Spike eyeballed Xander and leaned close. He sniffed Xander's neck and nibbled his ear. Xander moaned.

"Naughty thoughts, hmmm? Can smell `em." Spike whispered. "Bet Oz can too."

It was all Xander could do to get out of the van and into the apartment. Once in, Oz sat him on the couch next to Spike and started handing out the gifts. Xander refrained from saying which one belonged where. Over the past week, he hadn't been able to resist a little peeking.

Oz finally sat down and gestured for Xander to start. "Youngest to oldest."

"Oi!" Spike exclaimed.

"Shut up!" Xander said, and tore open the first gift.

His mouth fell open when he pulled out the pristine Spiderman comic. "Damn, Oz..."

Oz just quirked a grin at him. "I couldn't get the laser alarm case the guy wanted to sell with it."

Spike chuckled. Funny how their gifts were going to dovetail. He watched Xander kiss the breath out of Oz and got himself comfortable. This was going to be fun.

Xander sat back, grinning like a fool and opened another one. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head. The Detective Comics with the first appearance of Batman.

"Holy coincidence, Batvamp." Oz said eyebrow raised. "Nice."

"I'm so gonna need a safe deposit box. These need to be locked up. After I very very carefully drool at them." Xander breathed and kissed Spike soundly. "Where did you find this? I knew the store in town had the Spiderman, been lusting over it for years, but no Batman."

"A vampire never kisses and tells. Blowjob, spill my guts." Spike touched Xander's mouth with one finger and sat back.

"Among other things?" Oz said, lips curled up.

"Mergh. Um..." Xander swallowed heavily. "Oz? Isn't it your turn?"

"To blow Spike? Maybe." Oz laughed at the looks the other two shot him. "Later, after presents. Noticing mine are pretty big here."

He tore open the strange shaped one from Xander. Inside the oblong box was an acoustic guitar. It gleamed in the lights from the tree, it's finish a deep rosewood. "Wow, oh wow."

"I know you wanted something you could practice with here." Xander said, "Giles helped me pick it out."

Oz tuned it quickly and strummed a chord. "Damn, diminished ninth is still a bitch." He kissed Xander as Spike shook his head. "Okay, vamp. No kiss for you then."

"Never get the bloody things open if we keep this up." Spike fiddled with his packages.

"Make up for it after." Oz said, tearing the wrappings off the heavy gift Spike gave him. "Damn, Spike."

It was 50watt 1987X Marshall amp. Oz ran his hand over it lovingly. His old amp had given up the ghost a month ago with a buzz and a plume of smoke. He'd had his eye on this one for a long time, planing for the death of the old one.

"So much for quiet." Xander said, bouncing. "Concert soon?"

"Yeah maybe." Oz shook his head. "Spike? Your turn."

"No, open the other stuff, both of you." Spike gestured.

Spike watched as his boys opened the assorted pile. One hand cautiously caressed the red and black paper packages next to him. He was almost afraid to open them. Christmas had never been safe or sane when he ran with Angelus and Dru. Penn had usually gone hugely religious and Darla ignored the holiday completely. The idea that Xander and Oz, hell even Willow, Tara and Buffy, had picked out things for him was... unbelievable.

A Playstation 2 and a wealth of games were unwrapped. Xander crowed over each one, declaring they were both dead if they challenged him. Oz threatened to smoke him out with some of Devon's finest San Fran bud and whip his ass. Spike just threatened to whip his ass. Xander suggested he could try it after he opened his stuff. Then he looked away, a blush spreading across his face.

Paper went flying as Spike tore things open. He yelled in delight over the punk CD Oz got him and recoiled in fear over the country and Clannad, just like Oz hoped. Continuous threats of slipping Nair into Oz's shampoo just made the werewolf grin.

Xander's gift proved to be a long, thin black leather case with `Spike' on a small name plaque. Inside was a custom screw apart pool cue. The handle end was weighted perfectly. Spike grinned broadly and put it together.

"You always complain that the cues at The Bronze and Willy's suck, so I thought you'd want one of your own." Xander said.

"S'got great balance, Pet. Bet I can get in one good noggin crack before the chip goes off." Spike said. "Show those jerks who don't wanna pay up."

Xander just rolled his eyes. That was *just* what Spike needed, a new weapon. He could see Oz and him pulling a snarling Spike away from pissed off frat boys.

"C'mon, Fangless. Open the other one."

Spike tore the paper off the last package. It proved to be a brown leather-bound book. Stamped on the front was `A Vampire Fairy Tale', on the side `Volume One: 2001'. Spike eyed it carefully before opening it. It had all the letters and notes, lovingly placed upon creamy pages, that started the whole mess. As he paged through it, scanning the letters from Oz and himself, he saw additions. Little sidebars from Xander, telling how he was starting to feel each step of the strange way. The last page, just beyond the scraps of notes, said `We don't know how this tale is going to end. New pages get added everyday. May we never see the words: The End. Love Oz and Xander.'

Spike looked up, stunned. "How... I mean most these bloody things were on the kitchen table..."

"Friend of Giles'. He rebinds and covers some of the book from the shop." Oz said.

Xander nodded. "G-man called in a quick favor. I picked it up this afternoon."

Spike shook his head and flipped through the pages again. "Why?"

Oz crawled up next to the vampire. "You said it was a fairy tale." He pointed at the three of them. "Thought we'd show you some stories can, well not end, but y'know, be happy."

Spike smiled almost sadly as he caressed the pages. Stories that didn't end. It only happened to vampires, and only until they got destroyed. Xander and Oz were mortal and someday they would leave him. They didn't have a choice, not one they'd likely take anyway. Not one he could give, at least not to Xander. Maybe he could turn Oz, considering he wasn't human anymore. Somehow he doubted Oz would take that offer.

"Hey." Xander whispered in his ear. "You okay?"

Spike pulled Xander close. "I love you."

"I love you too." Xander said, stroking Spike's face.

Spike gave him a small smile and pulled Oz nearly into their laps. "Love you as well."

Oz carefully removed the book from under himself and regarded Spike. There was something bothering the vampire, something deep inside. He took Spike's head in his hands and kissed him slowly. Whatever was there, words couldn't help, only actions.

"I love you, Spike." He said and stood.

Taking both his lovers by the hand, Oz pulled them to the bedroom. Xander seemed to know what to do, as they both undressed a very quiet Spike. Hastily, their own clothing joined the pile of black on the floor and they all crawled into bed. Lovemaking was soft and gentle on their part, quiet and tinged with an air of desperation on Spike's. When he came, Oz deep inside him, Xander holding him tight, the werewolf could almost smell the unshed tears.

As they laid there in the dark, sweat drying and Spike sandwiched between them, Xander felt his heart aching. He knew Spike was hurting, he just didn't know why, didn't know how to fix it. He'd tried just now, even though he was still a bit gun-shy in bed, but it didn't seem to work. This sort of thing always seemed to get him into trouble. His mouth always ran ahead of his brain, and he never seemed to get across the right words to make the hurt go away. Having a moodswing prone vampire being the hurt one didn't help. He never knew how Spike would react to things. His usual reaction was to fly off the handle.

Spike stared at the ceiling, listening to the thrum of his lover's hearts. Each beat seemed to say `alive, they are alive'. Each beat brought them closer to their deaths. Brought him closer to being alone. Was it worth it? Was the love they poured into him each day worth the heartache that would come someday? He looked at Oz, eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed. Figuring it out, Spike realized. Oz knew. He turned his head and saw Xander, dark eyes confused and worried. Xander knew as well.

Something broke loose inside Spike. He had as long as the two could give him. When had he ever dwelled on the future? He lived in the now and now had Xander and Oz firmly planted in it. Brooding like Angel only brought heartache and confusion. He was not his blasted Sire. He would not make the people he loved miserable.

"Sorry `bout that, Pets." He said, drawing their heads onto his chest. "Took me by surprise."

"What did?" Xander asked.

Spike sighed. "All this. I... bugger... got scared for a bit there." Ouch. That was hard to admit.

Xander propped himself up on an elbow. "Scared? What, about us?"

Oz just kept his head down and waited. This one was in Xander's ballpark. Of all of them, Xander delt with fear the best. Now, if Xander would only realize that.

Spike didn't say anything, just nodded. He wasn't sure he wanted to go into it for... and there was that word again... fear of upsetting either man. Xander, however, just kept looking at him, silently demanding an explanation. If he was going to talk, he was going to smoke, Spike decided, and crawled down to get his cigarettes from his jeans. Xander kept looking, Oz kept laying there with his eyes closed. Spike knew he was listening and smiled. Oz was going to sit this one out.

"Right." Spike said, lighting up. "I am afraid of what I'll do if I lose you two."

"Spike..."

"Let me finish, Xander." Spike said, holding up a hand. "Hard enough without interruptions. You both will die someday and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't change you because of the rotten chip. Oz, sure but I don't think he would want that. It's just one more demon to pile on him. Wouldn't want that meself. An' if I did change you, we'd have to be sure that you'd stay you. Get the Witches ready with that spell. As tantalizing as the idea of Vampire Xander is, I know you wouldn't want it.

"So, I came to this amazing conclusion: I will love you both, to the best of my ability, until you die. Pretty simple really." Spike finished.

Xander blinked. He thought. He worked every possible solution over in his mind: spells, potions, vamping. A quote from a comic book came to mind. It reflected what Spike had said. `You get what everyone gets. A lifetime.'. And that's what they had here, a lifetime of each other, however long it was.

He took the cigarette from Spike's lips and silenced the protest with a kiss. "You're right. Pretty simple, Vamp o'My Heart."

Oz relaxed and allowed himself to be pulled into the bundle of bodies. Spike would warm up soon, leeching body heat from both of them. The elbows would figure out where to go and they would sleep. No better way or place to be, Oz thought as he snuggled closer.

END