Pale skin practically illuminates the dark room. Pale except where hard lines of black leather cross it. Leather tight enough to possibly leave marks. Xander crosses the room and starts to put a hand out when Spike moans softly, bent double and kneeling on the floor. He should really do something besides stand there. He should... help.
Where to start? With the bit gag creasing the sides of that pale lipped mouth? Or wonder about the fact that Spike has yet to look up? It makes Xander shudder, unsure of who or what put the vampire like this.
Not so sure he cares, just as long as no one else sees.
He certainly didn't expect to find Spike here after all the saving and Slayers-in-Wait training, but he looked anyway. Spike was supposed to be done with the disappearing acts, free of Firstian influences. Killing the Neander-vamp hadn't done what they all thought apparently if Spike was here, on the floor of Angel's old house. Kneeling. Not moving, but practically begging with his still body for someone to touch him.
Not thoughts he really should dwell on with his untrusting, still festering, deep dislike of the vampire. He really shouldn't dwell on the total subservient position with something like The First ready to swoop in and reek havoc.
"Ah, I get it. A nasty little surprise huh?" Xander snaps out at the room. "Trying a little of the old `come hither' eh? A hot chick would have worked better."
Spike just flinches and groans a bit. Not good.
"Spike?" Xander take another step forward, unsure and determined not to be unbalanced. "Look, old not so buddy, I can get you out of here... just... tell me? Say somethi... gag, right... look up then, okay?"
Spike's continuing stillness is not comfortingly punctuated by movement or even another moan. He just stays on the floor, no fake breathing moving his back, no new bleeding a small comfort. Xander ignores the growing uncomfortableness of his jeans and tries to stick with the bizarrity of this tableau.
"Spike, look at me." His voice whips out into the room and Spike's head shoots up, fixing him with a hopeful stare.
A stare that screams out it's desire to please, hope shining through the sky color. Xander shudders again and kneels down to look closer.
"Spike, you want out of this?" A yes nod of the blond head would be good, but Spike just... looks.
Terribly beautiful and that just compiles the huge not good of this. This is the worst fantasy come to light and how could he not think this was some nasty thing designed to kill him or Spike? Desire has no place, not in Sunnydale now. Desire could kill you.
"I need... oh man, what a loaded statement...." Xander mutters. "I need to get this off you. Get you outta here."
Those eyes close but Xander knows acceptance isn't the reason. A shaking hand wipes his dry lips and he reaches out to undo the clasp at the back of Spike's head. Lacquered hair is soft and gel-free, curls carding easily. Silky and Spike moans again, pressing against Xander's hands.
"Tell me." Xander says softly, letting the bit fall.
"Least wanted, first found." Spike whispers. "You win and I'm free."
Win? There's nothing to win here. He must have said it outloud because Spike nods and his head dips lower, nearly touching the concrete floor.
"I supposed to what?" Xander stands and paces, nerves jangling. "Get so turned on I do something incredibly stupid? Leave you to this... this sick game?"
He's yelling now and he knows it's not making Spike very happy. The flinching alone would be enough to see that, but the keening hurts like hell. Spike should never make those lost noises. He should be mean and nasty, not groveling at his feet.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Xander tries to calm down. "I really hate this world twisting bullshit."
He has yet to get a face full of The First. Maybe it has something to do with not being anything but normal, like he told Dawn. Maybe there was just nothing to wind him up with until now. Just a little dash of `how humane are you' here.
"And maybe you've gotten so weak sister that I'm the only one you can bother." He snarls at the walls. "Buff'll love to know that. Easy targets, the human and the mental vamp. Can we say pathetic?"
"Oh that's good." Spike says, at last sounding somewhat like his old self. "Piss it off more."
"Shut up!" Xander whirls and realizes Spike didn't say a damn thing. "Oh for... Enough. I had girlfriends who did better head trauma."
Spike, tied up on the floor Spike, snorts and Xander can't help but grin. That's worlds better than the grumbling he's hearing in the corner of the dark.
"Okay, yeah enough. Let's get you outta here and now." Xander kneels and starts working on the buckles holding the vampire's strained arms behind him.
Spike's groan is one of relief as his arms come loose and Xander stops short of chaffing them warm. Hot cocoa and comfort can wait when they're far from this charming place. The buckles pinning Spike's torso and legs down are a bit harder. He has to reach under the cold chest and between deceptively soft thighs to get to them.
It doesn't help that Spike is half hard and obviously embarrassed. Doesn't help that he is either. Of course, he always thought he'd be the one strapped down and wanting and that thought is so again not a comfort.
"Why?" Spike asks, looking straight into Xander's eyes.
A piercing gaze, Xander thinks, that's what one looks like. "Can't leave you here."
"Bloody white hat." No venom just a resigned acceptance. "Patent answer."
"And the only one you're likely to get." Xander quips, struggling for known ground. Banter is so of the good.
Spike's body slowly unfolds as the straps hit the floor with muffled thuds. His tendons creak as he tries to rise, needing to cling to Xander's arm to do so.
"It's not over, you know."
"Yeah." Xander sighs. "This is too easy but I'll take it."
Spike nods, looking down, bare feet shuffling. There should be more to say, but this is the time when words dry up in Xander's throat as usual. He's just reached too tired to deal. Spike seems the same, shoulder dropping and body pulling in on it's naked self.
"And you are so not going to the house naked. Hold on."
Xander finds a dusty sheet and, to his surprise, wraps it around those hunched shoulders himself. Surprised even more when he gets a quick, grateful smile.
"Don't think I want to go back to the house just yet." Spike whispers as they walk out.
"My place? You've still got clothes there and well, I am feeling the need to regroup."
"Yeah."
The car ride is silent until Xander shakes his head. "Why you?"
Spike stares out the window and shrugs. "Instant soul sort of makes you crazy, I suppose. Easy target."
Xander chews on this for a block. "You did it for her?"
"Yeah." Spike looks sideways at him, face half hidden in shadow. "And that was before I went completely stark ravin'."
Xander laughs, and shakes his head in disbelief. Gallows humor is a Scooby specialty and seems to make the world right for a moment.
He knows he can't forgive Spike what he did to Buffy, but he thinks he can understand it. She's hinted at the fact the relationship was brutal and ugly on both parts and he doesn't want to believe she could do that, but he's seen the dark looks in her eyes enough times to finally sink in. It's a scary sort of obsessive love that he's found all too familiar. Besides, he's not the one who needs to forgive Spike and the vampire wasn't currently equipped for self-salvation, soul or not.
More than a tool, less than a friend and what a painful thought for someone he's spent a good portion of his life with. Black and white were easier to deal with and nowhere near this situation anymore.
"Why did you...?" Spike asks. "For her too?"
"Help you? No. Yeah." Xander sighs. "For her."
It's a lie, but it's the only comfortable answer he's willing to make right now. It's not something he wants to think about with half wood in his pants and second thoughts in his mind.
"Thanks, whichever way it is."
"You're welcome."
It might not be a win, Xander thinks, but it's a start.
~fin~