Xander sat on his couch, staring at the phone on the coffee table. That phone number from Riley's answering machine stuck in his head for some reason, which was weird, because phone numbers usually went in one ear and out the other.

It could have been the concern for Riley which came through in the guy's voice; the same concern about Riley that Xander was having. He'd never really met this Graham guy, but he knew him from the Initiative and Lowell House.

He picked up the phone and dialed. 555-867-5309. The phone was answered on the second ring.

"Miller." The voice was all business.

"Uh . . . Graham?"

"Yeah. . . Graham Miller, here." His voice was gentler, and curious.

"Uh, look, I sort of need to talk to you about Ri . . . "

Graham cut him off quickly, voice suddenly all military and official. "Sorry, sir. I can't talk right now. Can you call me back in an hour? Let me give you a number."

Xander grabbed a pen and scribbled down the number.

Graham continued in his official voice, "Yes, sir. You've got to get out of the house and run some errands, I understand."

There was a sense of urgency just underneath Graham's voice. Xander got the message. "Uh, yeah, I gotta get going, I'll call you back later."

There was some relief in Graham's voice. "Understood. Call me back."

"OK. Will do."

"Bye."

And the line went dead. 'OK!' thought Xander. 'Secret agent stuff.' He finished getting dressed and turned off the television. He looked at his watch. Damn, he felt like shit. Maybe whiskey after beer wasn't the best idea. There was only one course of action possible: serious caffeine.

Xander left his apartment and headed over to the Espresso Pump.

He walked over to the counter and found himself leaning against it. He looked at the coffee guy and started to shout out his order to him, but decided against making more noise than necessary. The coffee guy gave him a knowing smile and came over. Xander ordered a double shot. The guy nodded.

Xander watched the coffee guy go to work making it. It seemed to make a lot more noise this morning than it usually did. As the guy came back and handed him the cup, Xander nodded gratefully. He pulled the money out of his wallet and put a fiver on the counter.

Xander didn't hesitate, he lifted the cup and took a serious swig of the burning hot bitterness. The coffee guy picked up the bill and made change. Xander picked up the saucer and waved away the change. One of the advantages of being gainfully employed was being able to make the occasional grand gesture.

"Thanks!" grinned the coffee guy.

Xander nodded in reply, and carried the cup to the nearest table and sat. He stared vacantly out the windows onto the street, trying to think what he was gonna say to Graham. He really barely knew the guy. But Riley clearly thought of him as a friend, and Riley needed friends right now.

Xander finished the coffee. He put the cup down and heaved a sigh. Xander was pretty sure he was doing the right thing. Riley seemed to be spiralling down. Going out for a drink every night was one thing, but now Riley was drinking every afternoon.

While it was fun hanging out with Riley, having a few beers, doing guy stuff, Xander knew from his experience at home that the drinking could exact a heavy toll. Riley needed help. More help than Xander could give him. And, more importantly, Riley needed someone he could trust. Which pretty much left everyone in Sunnydale out. OK. Nothing about this felt really wrong.

He looked at his watch. It was time. He walked over to the pay phone, fishing out the quarters from his pocket, and putting the pile on top of the phone. He picked up the receiver and held it between head and shoulder as he dialed the number. He listened as the digitized voice gave him the charges, and he put the quarters in.

The phone was picked up on the first ring.

"Hey." Graham was less formal, more urgent. "Where you calling from?"

"Phone booth."

"Good. Sorry about the whole spy-versus-spy thing." Graham heaved a weary sigh.

"Is everybody's phone tapped?"

"I don't know. Ri's is for sure. Pretty sure mine is. Part of the deal. Who is this?"

"Xander. Friend of Buffy's."

"Yeah. Harris. I got your dossier on my desk."

"*I've* got a dossier?"

"Not officially, but yeah. You did break into a government installation, twice."

"Twice? Oops, forget I said that."

"Done." He could hear Graham's smile on the other end.

Graham's voice got serious. "How's Ri doing?"

"Not so good."

"Damn! The Doc thought we got to him in time."

"No, No . . . he's recovering from the operation just fine. He's just . . . "

There was a silence.

"He's kinda drinking a lot."

There was another sigh from Graham's end. "Look, Harris, I gotta get back to the office before I'm missed. I really can't get away today. How's tomorrow?"

"I get off work at five."

"OK, that works for me. Better not meet at your place . . . Where's work?"

"Construction site, right on the county line on the coast highway south of town."

"OK. I'll be there at five. We'll go for a beer."

Xander held the phone as it went dead.

===============================

Xander grinned as he saw the jeep waiting on the edge of the construction site. Even though it was unmarked, it screamed military. He checked out the guy in the front seat, playing with the radio, waiting. Graham suddenly reminded him every football jock who had every pushed Xander around in High School.

He yelled at the new kid on the crew telling him to pick up the rest of the wood scraps from around the saw horse, softening the order with a smile, which got returned with an easy-going "You got it, jefe."

Xander glanced over at the jeep and saw Graham staring at him. He checked his watch and gave him a nod to tell him he'd be right there.

The whistle blew, and guys started to put their tools away. Xander did it slowly, methodically, taking care of his tools like a craftsman. He took his toolbox to the lock-up shed, then put his hardhat back on the rack, and jogged over to the jeep.

Graham leaned across and shoved oper the passenger door for him. He swung himself into the jeep, giving Graham a nod. "I'm ready for that beer."

"Where?"

"You pick the place, you're buying." Xander flashed him a grin.

Graham nodded, and started her up, pulling a U-turn to head cross-town. "There's this little bar, just a hole in the wall, where we used to hang out."

Xander nodded. "Sounds good." He looked at Graham as they drove. The guy's jaw was set; Xander could feel the tension. He suddenly felt a stab of apprehension. Maybe calling in the cavalry wasn't his best idea, maybe this could blow up in all their faces. Riley could lose it at Xander for ratting him out to his Initiative buddies, and just get driven further away, even more by himself.

Xander sighed.

Graham glanced over at him, "What's up?"

"Just worried about Ri. How he's gonna take this."

Graham nodded. "Yeah. Me, too."

Graham pulled into a gravel parking lot next to a run-down old-style tavern, with ancient Pabst Blue Ribbon neon signs in the windows.

Graham shut off the Jeep and got out. Xander followed him into the bar. They had arrived before after-work crowd, so they were able to grab a table in the corner where they could talk. Xander started to get up to go for the beers, but Graham stopped him. "I'm buying, remember."

Xander nodded "OK. But, next round's mine."

Graham got two longnecks from the bartender, who recognized Graham from too many nights here, too long ago. He brought them back, handed Xander one, and sat, leaning back and taking a long draught.

"You gonna go see him?" Xander asked.

Graham hesitated and then shook his head. "Not tonight. Last time I showed up unexpected, he pretty much knocked me cold."

"Ri packs a mean right."

"You say that as though you knew first hand."

"Yeah, I do. Long story."

"I got time."

"I was under the thrall of a vampire, I got in Riley's way, he decked me." Xander considered, "OK, not so long a story."

"That happen to you a lot?"

"The thrall thing or the getting decked thing?"

Graham chuckled. "Both, I guess."

"Uh, thralled only the once, decked -- that seems to happen a lot." Xander grinned, maybe a bit sheepishly, as he said it.

It took more than a couple of rounds of beers before Xander concluded that Graham was an OK guy. More importantly, he saw a look of real concern show through the poker face whenever he mentioned Riley. Xander sighed and started to recount what he knew about what was happening with Riley.

Graham watched him intently, those eyes never wavering from Xander's face as he let Xander tell the story uninterrupted.

". . . So I think he's kinda tearing himself apart over this 'does she love me or not' thing." Xander sat back and took a long drink from the bottle. He finished it off, and put it next to the now impressive collection of empty bottles on the table.

"So, does she?"

Xander shrugged. "He doesn't think so."

"He oughta know."

"Women!" Xander said softly, trying to make a macho joke out of it, but knowing that his heart wasn't in it.

Graham smiled at him, but Xander caught a bit of disappointment on his face. "You got the girlfriend thing going on, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Trouble in babeland?"

Xander grinned at the man-to-man tone, and nodded.

"What's up with that?"

"It's sort of weird, I always thought that having your girlfriend be totally into, you know, getting together with you would be great . . ."

"She can't get enough of you, huh?" Graham kidded with a bit of a knowing leer.

Xander blushed as he nodded slightly. "How about you? Got the girlfriend thing happening?"

A sly grin, a shake of the head. "Not really."

Xander caught the grin, and the too-casualness of the reply. He had noticed earlier how Graham's eyes had followed a hunky young waiter across the room. Added to the way Graham had been looking at him at the worksite, Xander realizd that Graham had been reminding him all night of one particular football player from High School. A light came on.

"Graham?"

"Yeah?"

"Answer me one question."

"Shoot."

"You got a thing for Riley?"

Graham looked at Xander like deer caught in the headlights. Then he looked down at the table.

"You gonna give me an answer?"

Graham sighed, but didn't look up. "Yeah."

"And I'm guessing he doesn't have a clue, right?"

Graham slowly shook his head.

"It's ok. Been there."

Graham looked up, "Yeah?"

"Not with Riley, with Buffy."

"Gotcha." Graham nodded.

"You want another beer?"

"Yeah, thanks."

-------------------------------------

"Give me the keys, Graham."

"I can drive, buddy. No problem."

"You've had, what, eight beers? You're gonna have to go through me to get to that jeep, Graham."

"Xander, I'm pretty sure I can take you."

"Uh, I'm pretty much counting on you not actually wanting to beat me up."

Xander's loopy grin completely disarmed him. Graham laughed, and handed Xander his keys.

"You can crash on my couch, if you want."

"Thanks. Yeah."

Xander went over to the bar, and asked for a cab. The bartender nodded and dialed.

They left the jeep in the parking lot and waited for the cab on the curb. Not much got said in the short cab ride to Xander's new digs. Xander was trying to wrap his mind around the whole thing. Riley's best bud in the Initiative played for the other team, so maybe that explained why Riley had said . . . what he had said to Xander the other night. If you've got a gay best friend, maybe you can't help but think, every once in a while, about being with another guy.

Those kinds of thoughts had crossed his mind after he and Larry had had their little talk in the locker room. No more than crossed his mind, though, Xander quickly reassured himself.

Xander glanced over at Graham, who was leaning against the far door of the cab. The guy was definitely buff, and attractive in a macho jock kind of way, the way Xander had always wished he was attractive. He hadn't really noticed that before. But the last time Xander had seen him, Graham had been holding a gun on him and Buffy.

Graham insisted on paying for the cab. They got out and headed in. As they climbed the stairs, Graham was a little wobbly, so Xander put a steadying hand on Graham's arm. Graham gave him a questioning glance. Xander gave him his best 'hey, we're just buddies, here' smile.

At the door, Xander fumbled a bit with the lock, still not used to how it kind of stuck, and you had to pull the door in slightly to slide the deadbolt. He felt Graham's hand on his shoulder -- a very light touch but very much there. Xander decided to ignore it, even if it was having a bit of an effect on him. They entered "Whoa! Nice place!"

"Yeah. Still sort of new. Just moved in, still getting used to it."

"Uhhh. . . "

Xander smiled and pointed, "The bathroom's over there. . . "

"Thanks."

Xander went to the hall closet, grabbed a pillow and a blanket, and came back out and tossed them on the couch.

Graham came back out, and looked at Xand and grinned. "Thanks."

Graham threw himself on the couch.

"Need anything else?"

Graham hesitated, looking slowly Xander up and down before answering, "Guess I'm set."

"Cool. I'm going to crash."

Graham nodded at Xander and swallowed as their eyes met. "You're a really good guy, you know. I can see why Riley talks to you."

"He doesn't really talk to me all that much."

"Just when he's got something big to say."

"Yeah, maybe."

Graham shrugged and grinned. "Maybe he only hits the ones he loves."

Xander smiled at that . . . compliment .

"He's lucky to have you, Xander."

"You, too."

Graham looked straight at him. And blinked. "You wanna . . . ?"

"Wanna what?" Then Xander got it and blushed . . . He shook his head. "Hey, but if I was gonna do it with a guy, you'd pretty much be the guy. You are pretty much the hot guy."

"Nice rejection." Graham was smiling.

"Lots of practice." Xander grinned sheepishly, " . . . at the getting rejected, I mean. I've heard all the good lines."

Graham stood up slowly, deliberately, and ran his hands along Xander's shoulders. He held Xander's upper arms firmly yet gently. "So if I did this, he leaned in and licked Xander's ear, "or this," Graham smiled and ran his tongue along Xander's jaw line, "That wouldn't have any effect on you?"

Xander moaned, and shifted his weight.

As Graham kissed his neck, Xander slowly put his arms around Graham's waist. Graham's right hand went down slowly to Xander's crotch and ran his fingers along the outline of Xander's stiffening rod.

Xander pulled back slightly and asked kiddingly. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Once or twice." Graham's fingers kept teasing. "I don't take rejection well." Graham whispered.

"So I see," and Xander moved his head back in and let Graham kiss him.

*****
Part 9:

Riley kept his eyes shut fiercely, but despite his best efforts to think of something else, anything else, he found his mind wandering back to the same fantasy, the one that had been dogging him for days.

"And so I'm doing a run, keeping up the training that I had in the military, just keeping it going, and I decide to just change my usual route and I'm going for distance and head out along the old highway east of town, some hills, but nothing too serious, and I'm just kind of into the run, just moving at a slow steady rhythm, yeah into the rhythm of it, steady moving muscles in time to my heartbeat, keeping the breathing nice and regular, muscles pumping nice and regular, keeping the rhythm going . . . just keep the rhythm going . . . gotta keep the rhythm going.

"And I come over the top of a hill and see that there's this construction site, and as I come closer, I see him there, working with this other guy, cutting some 2-by-4s, and he's clearly in charge, but grinning and joking with the other guy, moving nice and easily. And I stop at the edge of the site and just watch him as he picks up the circular saw and cuts the board, his bicep tensing as he does, he's slightly bent over, so I can't see his face, just the hard hat, and he's filling out that T-shirt really nicely, and there's something about a man who knows what he's doing, and he finishes the cut, and turns off the saw and steps back, and pulls off the safety goggles and nods to his helper guy, who picks up the 2-by-4s and puts them over his shoulder and carries them into the building.

"And he takes off his hard hat, and puts in on the saw-horse, and takes hold of the bottom of his T-shirt and bends over slightly and wipes the sweat from his forehead with the bottom of the T-shirt, but all I see is his bare torso. Not a gym-built 6-pack, but an honest working man's naturally hard stomach. And he looks up and sees me standing there staring and grins and picks up his hard hat and gives me a wave with it as he puts it back on.

"He walks over towards me, not a cocky strut, but with a self-assurance that I'm maybe not used to seeing, but it's like he's on his turf now, totally comfortable and at ease. And I walk towards him and we meet more or less half way. And he stands there with this totally friendly smile, hands on his hips, and I can't help it, my eyes follow the lines of his arms from his shoulders down to his hips and to his . . .

"'Hey,' he says

"'Hey,' I'm not really sure what I want to say. Except that maybe, I'm glad to see him, and I like that smile.

"He brings his left arm up, and I'm looking at his forearm as he's looking at his watch. He looks up and catches me looking. There's a hint of a smile on his face as he speaks. 'It's lunchtime. Wanna grab something?'

"And that sounds like an invitation, but I'm not sure, but I say 'Sure.' and he nods and says something about checking in with his crew and he trots back into the building and I watch him move so easily and nicely, and I really realize that I am pretty turned on by all this. And I'm breathing kinda heavy and trying to maintain a little calm. So I walk steadily over to the saw-horse where he was just working and pick up the saw he was just using, and it's still warm, and I'm finding that . . . interesting. And I pick up the goggles, with his sweat on them and I have to resist the urge the lick them. . . just to taste him.

"And he comes back out as the lunch whistle blows, comes back over to me, and I look at him and I know what I want for lunch. So I look at him and he understands and he nods at the trailer and says something about the boss being at a meeting with the architect, so the trailer's empty, and he leads the way, and I'm following him, and that feels really right somehow, that I should be following him. And he opens the door and walks in and I follow him in, and he leans against the table and puts his hands on the edge of the table beside him and I am just kind of drinking in the sight of him.

"And for a second I hesitate, but I reach over and run my hand across his chest, feeling his body through the tee-shirt, and he looks a little surprised, but not displeased, but he doesn't move, waiting to see what I'm gonna do. And I lean in and kiss him and he kisses me back pretty deeply, and I'm holding his sides, and bending over slightly so our heads are at the same level and, man, that kiss is just so electric, and I can't help myself, my right hand slowly moves down to his crotch and I gently feel the outline of his cock through the khakis he's wearing and it's growing stiff in my hand, and as we kiss, I unzip his pants, and reach in, and have to maneuver a bit round his boxers before I can touch it, feel it, hold it. and he stiffens more, and lets out a little groan, and it's low and deep, and I know what I gotta do, what I need to do, and break the kiss and slowly move down running my nose along the sweaty tee-shirt, smelling him on it and even on my knees, I've got to bend over a bit to take him in my mouth. He gets even harder as I run my tongue around his cockhead. I start to tease him a bit, pulling my mouth back a bit and letting my tongue dart out and flick against his cock.

"But he's having none of that. He pulls me up and pushes me face-down across the desk, and yanks my running shorts down, and holding my waist tightly pushes inside me and without any preliminaries starts to buck into me. Hard and fast and deep. And I'm feeling more excited than I've ever felt before, and my eyes are squeezed shut and my hands are gripping the edge of the desk tightly, and I can't believe he is fucking me, but he is. . .

"And he reaches underneath me and he grabs my cock, and wraps his fist around it, holding my cock and I thrust into his fist as he grinds into me, my hands holding the far edge of the desk, and I can feel my heart racing, and his moaning and his pelvis starts to really buck into me, I can feel my heart beating so hard, that I am afraid that it will burst, and he whispers my name, and that's almost enough to make me come then and there.

"And his free hand is on my shoulder, gripping tightly, almost pulling me onto him, almost being rough, but being gentle at the same time, and his breathing quickens and through the hand on my shoulder, I can feel him starting to tense and I know he's close to the edge, and he grabs my head by the hair and pulls it back, and I close my eyes and wait for it, and thrust into his fist and let loose, feeling my entire body tense as every muscle quivers and shudders, and I have that moment when the entire world stops, my heart stops, breathing stops and I lose myself completely."

With that image in his mind's eye, Riley drove hard into Buffy, feeling her body convulse as his last thrusts sent her over the edge, feeling her nails digging into his back, hearing her sudden intake of breath. He lay atop her for a long minute, his muscles tensed, his back slightly arched, holding his breath involuntarily as he listened to her panting, knowing he had sent her over the edge as well.

Riley rolled over and lay back in the bed, still breathing hard, with a huge satisfied grin on his face, masking the doubts he was carrying inside.

Buffy rolled over on her side, and ran a hand across his chest, and grinned at him. "Are you sure you don't still have a secret stash of those initiative drugs?"

He smiled sheepishly at her, and put his arm around her as she put her head on his chest and closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Riley lay awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell was going on.

=========================================

The next morning Buffy met Willow for their last minute pre-midterm cram plus caffeine session at the Espresso Pump.

Willow gave her the raised eyebrow smirk, "Someone had a good time last night." she kidded.

Buffy smiled and gave half a nod. Willow grinned at her. "I want a full report later, but right now, it's serious cramming time."

As the two drank mochas and poured over the text, one of the busboys sauntered nonchalantly over to the radio, and surreptitiously changed the station from the usual jazz lite to a Latino station. The announcer's voice blared:

"Y ahorrra rrregresamos a nuestrrra progrrramaci�n de m�sica frrrontera, con este tema de los Texas Tornados"

Buffy turned around to scowl at the guy, but he looked so pleased with himself that she had to smile. Besides anything was better than Kenny G. She vaguely listened to the song, which at least was in English

// Who were you thinkin' of
// when we were makin' love
// last night?

// Was it a good-lookin' stranger
// or a close friend of mine?

Buffy shivered.

"What's the matter, Buffy?"

"Ever have that feeling like someone's just walked on your grave?

Willow shivered sympathetically, "Ohh, I *hate* that!"

// Who were you thinkin' of
// when I was makin' love
// to you?

// There was a smile on your face
// I ain't seen in some time. . .

"And I *hate* this song!"

Willow was getting slightly annoyed. "Right, Mexican country music is of the bad. No more sidetracking, Buffy: mid-term in one hour 46 minutes, and counting. . . "

"Right, French Revolution: Reign of terror or good clean fun?"

*****
Part 10: Willy's Place.

"It's my turn to choose the bar, Xander. Don't make me get rough with you."

Xander gave a bitter chuckle. "I already learned the hard way what happens when I get in your way, Ri."

Riley stopped and stood in his path. "Xander."

"Yeah?"

"Go on, hit me."

"Huh?"

"Give me your best shot, Xander." Riley stood there hands at his side.

"I don't *want* to hit you, Riley." Xander kept his hands in his pockets.

Riley looked at him. He let out his breath in a long sigh. "I just want us to be even."

Xander shrugged. "I'm not looking for even. If I was, I'd spend way too much time . . . "

"What?"

"Just forget it, OK?" It was almost a whisper. Xander looked down.

"OK. OK. . . . You know, I wish I could do that."

Xander looked up. "Do what?"

"Let it go like that."

Xander smiled a bit ruefully, "Years of practice backing down."

"I've *never* seen you back down, Xander."

"OK, years of practice getting knocked on my ass." Xander shrugged. "It's one of the advantages of nobody thinking you're a tough guy, you never have to prove it."

"*I* think you're pretty tough."

"Bullshit! You pretty much think I'm Buffy's useless sidekick."

"I pretty much think you're gonna steal her away from me the second she really looks at you."

Xander grinned, "That'll never happen. Never. Trust me. Idiot kid brother, remember?"

"Better than kitteny, I think."

"Kitteny?"

Riley sighed, "Yeah. She called me 'kitteny'."

"Well, you are kinda kitteny." Xander grinned up at him.

"And you are pretty much an idiot." Riley put an arm across his shoulder, and led him down the sidewalk. They turned the corner, and headed into Willy's place.

"Ri, Tell me again, why are we coming here?"

"Because."

"Right, I keep forgetting." Xander stopped. Riley took a step and then stopped and faced him, waiting. Xander looked at him, "One thing: No fighting, OK?"

"No fighting. Promise."

Xander nodded, and they walked in. Xander got them both a beer and they grabbed the only empty table, one near the door.

"Oi! What have we here? The junior slayerette and his sidekick, Captain Cornfed! Sharing an intimate moment together, eh chums?"

Spike leered at the two of them. Riley started to get up, but Xander pulled him back down.

"Hitting a little close to home, am I? Too bloody cute, you two."

Spike grinned. This was better than anything he could have planned himself. He'd thought about ways to get Riley out of his way, but this was just too sweet. He pulled up a chair and sat down and grinned at the two.

"Too right, you two." He winked at Xander, "You, I always knew about, Mr. Nummy Treat himself."

Xander blushed. The vampire continued, "You always wanted to shag me silly. Tying me up in your bedroom and all. Almost sorry you never had the stones to actually do it. From what your little demon lover says, you actually know how to throw a decent shag."

Spike turned his attention to Riley, "Which means that soldier boy here has finally figured out that he's a catcher not a pitcher. That's good. It's important to figure out what position you like to play."

A snarky smile came over Spike's face. "Well, I like it. It's about time you two got a chance at some of the fun stuff. You mortal types get so hung up over what you call things, that you forget how good it feels just to do 'em."

He looked back at Xander "You shagged him yet? Cause the boy fancies you. Written all over that gob of his, innit?" Turning back to Riley, Spike continued, "You do fancy our Xander, don't you? Go on, tell him."

"Fuck off, Spike"

"OOH, Tough talk from the soldier boy. Ex-soldier boy, I oughta say. Play nice, ex-soldier boy, or I'll let Harmony to kick your ass again."

Xander's hand stayed firmly on Riley's shoulder.

"Come on Riley, let's go." Xander stood up, putting himself between Spike and Riley. Riley let himself be guided to his feet. They headed for the door.

Spike got in a parting shot, "Don't shag him too hard, mate. Your Captain Cornfed not as tough as he used to be."

==================

"You shoulda let me kick his ass."

"Yeah. Because that would be the smart move, kicking a defenseless vampire's ass in a demon bar."

Riley sighed at Xander. "Yeah, you're right. But he just pisses me off."

"That's all he's trying to do, get under your skin. I lived with him for a while, remember? All he's trying to do is get a rise out of you."

"It just pisses me off when he says all that shit."

"I noticed." Xander examined Riley's face. Riley was more upset by this than Xander had thought. He put a hand on Riley's far shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze, and then left his hand there as they walked down the street. Riley fell into step with Xander, letting his arm brush against Xander's side as they walked.

Finally, after several blocks of silence, Riley looked over and asked softly, "Xander. Answer me one question, and be honest. OK?"

Their eyes met. Riley was being very serious. And more than a little scared. Xander nodded.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

"Ri. I told Buffy that as a joke. Not that you're not . . ." Xander couldn't finish the sentence.

Riley stopped, and demanded in a whisper, "Do you, Xander? I gotta know." There was an almost desperate undertone in Riley's voice. "I just gotta know."

Xander stood still and, staring down at the ground, didn't answer.

"Tell me 'no', and I swear I'll never bring the subject up again."

Xander looked up at Riley's face, searching for a clue, trying to figure out if Riley was making some kind of jock-boy joke at his expense. But Riley looked totally serious, and very vulnerable. Xander swallowed slowly.

"You're not saying 'no'."

Xander shook his head.

Riley stared at him. "Is that 'no, I'm not saying no' or is that 'no'?"

Xander swallowed hard, and said very softly, "I'm not saying 'no'."

Riley let out a long breath. "I need a drink. Come on."

They headed back to Riley's place, neither one saying a word. Each occasionally glanced at the other, as though they were playing a game of chicken, waiting to see who would be the first to back down.

Neither one did.

Inside, Riley got the bottle off the counter and holding two glasses in one hand, poured them each a shot.

He handed one glass to Xander. Riley started to taste his, then reached over and clinked glasses. Then Riley tossd his back. Xander followed suit.

"Gonna try calling me 'wimp' again?"

Riley flashed him a slightly embarrassed grin. He poured himself another, and offered to do the same for Xander.

Xander shook it off, putting the glass down on the counter, and leaned against it. Riley was looking down, head bowed. Then he looked up at Xander, head still bowed.

"You ever done this before?"

Xander hesitated and then nodded. "With another guy? Yeah, once. You?"

Riley shook his head.

"You sure you want to? Because you're not acting all that eager." Xander nodded at the glass.

Riley put the glass down, and reached over and ran his hand along Xander's shoulder, and down his arm. He whispered, "I'm eager."

Xander smiled and nodded. He reached up and ran his hand across Riley's cheek. Riley moaned softly. "Come on." Xander whispered, as he stepped over towards the bed.

They undressed to their boxers and got into bed. Neither said a word. They lay next to each other, neither sure what to do next, both breathing a little hard. Both feeling the stiffness in their boxers. Neither one willing to make the first move.

Riley looked over at Xander. "Do you think I'm a . . . fag or something?"

Xander raised his head and looked over at Riley, and whispered soothingly, "It doesn't matter what I think."

Riley stared at Xander and swallowed hard. But he didn't resist at all as Xander rolled over and kissed him.

*****
Part 11: Eavesdropping

Graham knocked at Xander's door. Xander opened it

"Hey!"

Graham put a finger to his lips. Xander nodded. Graham gestured towards the outside. Xander grabbed his keys and jacket and followed the commando guy out of the building.

"Shit! You think my place is bugged?"

"Riley's is." Graham looked accusingly at Xander.

It sunk in. "Oh, shit!"

"Yeah. 'Oh, Shit!' I sort of had to accidentally erase some of the tapes from last weekend. Told the C.O. they were blank cause Ri was at Buffy's."

Xander looked up slowly to see the anger in Graham's eyes. "It just kinda happened, Graham." Xander saw that Graham was not impressed by that explanation. Graham was wound tight, His jaw clenched, his eyes narrowed. He was looking like he was ready to explode at any moment.

Xander put his hands in his pockets and looked down. "Graham?"

"Yeah?"

"If you're gonna kick my ass, just do it and get it over with, OK?"

It was like Xander had just let all the air out of him. Graham sighed. "I guess I got no claim on him."

Xander looked up sharply as he heard the 'him' . The marine couldn't meet Xander's gaze. He looked down at the ground. So this wasn't about him and Graham at all, it was about Graham and Riley. "You really love him, don't you?"

Graham met his eyes, and asked earnestly, "Don't you?"

=====================================

"I think Ri is just really lonely. He just doesn't think she loves him." Xander explained as they walked.

"Course he doesn't." Xander was surprised at how bitter Graham sounded. "Basic projection."

"Huh?"

Graham gave him a bit of a smile, "Psych stuff. He can't deal with how he's feeling so he kinda transfers his uncertaintly to her. If she doesn't really love him, so it's OK if he jumps into bed with the first guy who'll let him suck his cock."

Xander looked down. "Ouch." He whispered.

Graham sighed. "Sorry, that was a little harsh."

"Yeah." Xander's voice was small.

"I just mean . . . never mind. Fuck the psychology crap. Maybe she's not what he wants, or all he wants, and he can't admit that yet so . . . "

"He puts it on her. . . "

Graham nodded.

"Yeah, maybe."

"This is fucked up. I want him, he wants her. You want . . . who?"

Xander shrugged, still looking down.

Graham looked at him and sighed. He put an arm across Xander's shoulders and gave him a bit of a hug. "You're a good guy, Xander. Something tells me that when you figure out what you want, who you want, that someone's gonna be the luckiest fuck in the world."

Xander looked up at Graham, "You think so?"

"Yeah, despite myself, I think so. Kinda wish you felt that way about me." Graham grinned.

"I do, kinda."

"Yeah, kinda. And kinda for Riley, and kinda for Anya, and kinda for Buffy. . . anybody I'm leaving out?"

Xander grinned, "Willow maybe. And just maybe Giles."

Graham shook his head, chuckling. "Always looking around to see what's better, aren't you? Well, Xander, fuck us all, and see."

"Yes, Yoda."

Graham looked at him and a bit of a smile crossed his face. "You know, I should have kept a copy of that tape. It was pretty hot. Ri was really into you."

Xander turned bright red as he remembered how . . . vocal Riley had been at several points that night.

Graham let his hand caress Xander's ear very lightly. "Look. I gotta go see Riley, find out if he's interested in re-upping, in joining up again. I can't go see him as horny as I am right now, or I'm gonna lose it. What are my chances of a buddy-fuck? No strings?"

"You really know how to romance a guy, don't cha?"

Graham shrugged but kept grinning. "How bout it?"

"What if my place is bugged?"

Another shrug, "Don't use my name."

Graham pulled Xander's mouth towards his.

"Jesus, Graham!"

"Xander, I'm gonna kiss you, and then I'm suck your cock so hard that your head is gonna explode. And then you're gonna fuck the shit out of me. Only question is: do you want it here, or you wanna go inside?"

Xander grinned, and ran his hand along Graham's arm. Impressive arm at that. "Come on."

============================

Graham was in the shower when the door bell rang. Xander pulled back on his T-shirt and khakis and ran his hands through his hair as he walked over "Coming!".

He opened the door, and Anya leaned in for her kiss. She got it.

"Hey." Xander grinned.

"Hello." Anya walked in to the apartment. The shower suddenly stopped. She turned toward Xander.

"If that apartment manager is in our shower . . . " You can take the vengeance demon out of the girl . . . or maybe you can't.

Xander laughed. "I promise you that there is no woman in the shower, Anya. It's a friend of Riley's. Initiative guy. Come to check up on him. See how he's doing."

"Why is he in your shower?"

"Cause . . . he was dirty." The trick with Anya was to pretend that whatever she asked about was the most natural thing in the world. And then give her the most obvious answer.

Anya nodded as though Xander's answer made perfect sense. Xander suddenly realized that Graham's clothes were on the couch. He went over, scooped them up, and carried them to the bathroom, knocked on the door.

"Lt. Miller, got your clothes here. Uh, I've got company."

"Uh, thanks, Harris." The door opened and the clothes got snatched away quickly.

Xander turned back to Anya, who was smiling at him. "Xander, I've been around for a lot of centuries, I've seen lots of naked guys."

Xander blushed, "He's kind of really good looking."

Anya squealed, "You don't have to be insecure, Xander!" She walked over and gave him a big hug. They were still kissing when a freshly showered and newly dressed Graham walked back in.

Graham coughed. They broke the clench. "Uh, Anya, this is Lt. Miller."

"Hey, Anya, call me Graham."

"Hi, Graham." She looked him up and down, turned to Xander, and said brightly, "You're right, Xander, he *is* really good looking! And all muscle-y!"

Graham had the decency to blush.

Anya asked "If you're a Lieutenant, how come you don't have a soldier suit on? Xander looks really cute when he put his soldier suit on."

"Anya!" Xander said in his warning voice.

"He likes to give me orders when he puts on his soldier suit." Anya helpfully explained.

"Uh, TMI, Anya."

"Too much information, huh?"

"Yeah, Anya. TMI."

"OK" said Anya brightly, "Graham, forget what I said about the giving orders."

"Done." Graham shot Xander a leer that made him blush to his roots.

"There, all better now?" She asked Xander, who sighed and hugged her.

"Yes, Anya, all better."

Anya sat on the couch, Xander sat beside her, and Graham took the chair. She looked at Graham. "I thought the Initiative was all ended and filled up with concrete."

"It is. I'm still in the service though."

"Good. About the Initiative being ended."

"Anya has issues with the Initiative." Xander explained helpfully.

Anya nodded brightly. "Cause I used to be . . . "

"Anya!"

"Never mind."

"A demon, yeah, I know."

Xander shot a glance at Graham. "You do?"

Graham nodded. "But demon no more, right?"

Anya sighed sadly and shook her head. "Are you going to go see Riley? Because if you are, then Xander could put on his soldier suit and he could . . . "

"Right!" interrupted Graham. He stood up. "I'd better go see Riley. Thanks for letting me use your shower, Harris."

"Any time, Graham."

As Graham opened the door, he turned and met Xander's gaze. He gave him a sly grin and a very smart salute.

==================================

Later that evening, as he lay in bed, a reasonably satisfied Anya asleep in his arms, Xander sighed wearily. He'd better start taking vitamins or eating oysters or something. He never thought that the day would come when the biggest problem in his life would be that he was having too much sex.

*****
Part 12: La Zizanie

Xander ran his hand through Riley's hair, resisting the urge to grab it, hold it, control it as Riley moved up and down on his cock. All he had to do was gently run a finger along Riley's cheek and he would respond.

Xander tried the move that had sent shivers through Graham's whole body. He slowly leaned over and slid his hand between Riley's ass cheeks.

Riley jerked his head up sharply and barked, "Don't!"

Xander pulled back. "Hey, no problem, Ri."

"Maybe I oughta. . . " He grabbed Xander's upper arms and rolled him over, pinning him to the mattress. But instead of fighting back, Xander went limp and just stared up at him like Riley had totally lost it.

"Shit, sorry." Riley let go and rolled off of him.

Riley sat on the edge of the bed, his back to Xander.

What was that? Fuck. Never mind. Xander knew: the control thing. He sighed.

"Riley."

Riley put his head in hands.

"Is that what you want from me, Ri?"

"I don't fucking know." It came out little more than a whisper.

"Shit. Are you afraid of me?"

Riley turned around and looked at him.

"Fuck! You are! Or afraid of this . . . We don't have to, you know, do anything."

"Don't you want to?"

"I like you Riley, but not enough to do this unless I wanted to."

Riley had to smile back. "You gotta tell me one thing: Do you love Anya?"

Xander shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"She loves you."

"In her own ex-demonic way."

"She loves you." Riley repeated more firmly.

"Yeah, she loves me."

Riley sighed and stared at the wall. There was a bleak silence as Xander listened to Riley's breathing. Finally Riley spoke, still staring hard at the far wall. "You don't love me. Buffy doesn't love me."

Xander sat behind Riley, legs spread, and pressed his chest against Riley's back and hugged him tightly. "Someone loves you, Ri."

"Thanks, Xander. But you know what I mean."

"No, I mean there's someone who would do anything for you, fucking cut his right arm off for you, do anything for you."

Riley turned his head. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You are blind, aren't you?" Xander supressed a chuckle.

Riley turned around, pushing Xander gently onto his back.

"'*His* arm'?"

"*His* arm. Jesus! He's ready to put his career on the line to get you back inside. You seriously don't see the way he looks at you?"

"*Graham*?" Riley stared incredulously.

Xander nodded.

"You are so full of shit. Graham is so straight. . . "

". . . that he sucked me off the first time we ever talked."

"What!"

"Remember you asked me that first night if I'd ever done it with a guy before?"

"Yeah and you said 'one guy'."

"Yeah." Xander raised his eyebrow.

"With *Graham*?"

Xander nodded, and gave Riley a slightly naughty smile.

"Jesus! Xander, Can't you keep it zipped up?" There was real annoyance behind the mock annoyance.

Xander grinned that smile of his and shrugged.

"Let me get this straight. . . "

"So to speak."

"You fucked Graham, the Graham I know, Lt. Graham Miller?"

"Well, not that first night."

"OK. Just how many times you been with him?"

"Uh, twice."

"But you're saying that it's *me* he's in love with?"

"I think so. I think he's got it so bad for you he can barely deal."

"But he can still sleep with you?"

Xander sat up. "I don't think he's -- shit, I don't know. With Graham and me, it was more . . . friendly."

"Friendly?"

Xander nodded.

Riley looked at Xander and shook his head. "This is really fucked up. I'm in bed with my girlfriend's best friend, who's been sleeping with my best friend who it turns out is maybe in love with me, but my girlfriend's best friend's girlfriend knows . . . "

"Uh, very little, I hope. She's got that whole vengence demon past going on. "

"Anybody else I oughta know about?"

"How come I suddenly feel like the biggest slut in the universe?"

"You really want an answer to that question?"

"Uh, no. But I gotta point out that I'm in bed with my best friend's boyfriend, who this very minute is thinking about sleeping with *his* best friend."

Riley ducked his head. "Touch�."

Xander reached up and hugged Riley, and pulled him back down onto the bed. Xander caressed his face and slowly leaned in and kissed him gently. Riley began to respond, the kiss became more intense, and even more so when Xander's hand found Riley's cock, and taking hold of it underhanded, began o caress it. There was a sense of power in the ability to make Riley react with just a touch.

"Xander. . . "

"Yeah?

"Did you really. . . fuck Graham?"

A hesitation. "Yeah."

Riley whispered, "You wanna fuck me?"

A longer hesitation, and then a hoarse whisper, "Yeah."

"Tell me what to do . . . "

Xander reached over to the drawer in the bed-side table and pulled out a condom packet and a bottle of lube. He started to open the packet, and then stopped. He handed it to Riley, and looked expectantly at him.

Riley seemed to understand the challenge. He nodded, opened the foil packet and slowly unrolled the condom ontp Xander's saliva-slick cock. He stared at it for a moment, then swallowed hard, and looked up at Xander.

"It'll be easier if you lie on your stomach, OK?" Xander's voice was soft and reassuring. Riley nodded and lay down, letting Xander put a pillow under his pelvus, forcing his ass in the air. He didn't resist at all as legs were gently eased apart. He buried his head in his arms as Xander opened the bottle and warmed a dallop of lube between his palms before applying it to Riley's opening.

Riley moaned as Xander inserted a finger. "Just relax, OK?"

A muffled 'Uh huh." was all Xander got in reply, but Riley managd to relax as Xander slowly worked first one, then two fingers up Riley.

Xander leaned over, running his hands up the hot hard muscle of Riley's back, until he had hold of his shoulders, slowly massaging them, reassuring Riley, keeping him relaxed. He whispered into his ear, "You gotta let me know if I'm hurting you, OK?"

"Uh huh . . . OK."

Xander slowly moved back down, and knealt between Riley's outstretched legs. He guided his cock towards the lubed and stretched ass. There was a moment of resistance.

"Relax it. Just relax, Ri."

And Xander eased it in slowly, letting Riley get used to it, before he started to move in and out, trying to hit the spot that had made Graham growl.

He found it. Riley's head jerked up in a silent moan. He slowly let it back down and moaned in time to Xander's thrusts.

=========================

When the phone rang again, Xander reached over and unplugged it from the wall, then let his hand return to caressing Riley's shoulder as he resumed slowly moving in and out of the prostrate, panting ex-commando, letting himself be mesmerized by the low, purring moans coming from the marine.

*****