I nodded and walked back and sat next to Riley. The scariest part of that conversation with the Mayan guy was that all that twin stuff made perfect sense to me. I looked at Riley, who had barely glanced at me when I came back over. I sighed. I couldn't tell him about the twin thing just yet.

"You wanna tell me about it, Ri?"

There was a long silence. He studied his boots. "I don't know. It just kinda happened."

"Don't bullshit me, Ri. Shit like that doesn't 'just happen'."

He sighed and held his head in his hands. He slowly shook his head, still holding on to it. He let out a long deep sigh. He didn't look up as he began to whisper, "This vampire chick sort of came onto me, ya know, to lure me out so she could do me, and I sort of led her on, and I had the stake in my hand, and was ready to finish her off, when she leaned in and started to bite me..."

"Yeah?" I said real soft.

"... and I let her bite me."

"Jesus, Ri."

"Just a little before I staked her. But..." He looked up at me, "It felt amazing. Like she needed me."

I just stared at him... "So, just the once, then?"

He shook his head. "Turned out there was this sort of house where you could find vamps who would do, ya know ..."

"You *paid* for it?"

He nodded. I started to snicker. I couldn't help it. He looked over at me a little hurt and a bit pissed off, and then he cracked a smile and nodded again, and chuckled softly. "Yeah, I was paying for it. Pretty pathetic, huh?"

"Yeah." I put an arm across his shoulders and gave him a light squeeze. His entire body tensed up. Not the reaction I was hoping for there. I let my arm fall nonchalantly off of him.

====================

The women came over and handed us tamales wrapped in banana leaves and bottles of warm Coke, which I guess must be available everywhere in the known universe, and we sat in the village clearing, swigging coke and eating tamales out of the banana leaves with our fingers.

Darkness came quickly as the sun set. No lingering twilight, no street lights coming on, no lights from any of the houses of the village. Only the dim light of the cooking fires, and the light of a three-quarters moon. The jungle was no longer green, but black, dark, ominous. The sounds changed as the daytime animals receded and the night-time ones came out. The chattering of the birds and monkeys stopped. And in the far distance I heard the growl of some kind of jungle cat.

As most of the guys were sacking out, the village leader guy stood and motioned to me. I got up, and turned to Riley, "Come on."

"Where to?"

"Just come." I was ready to beg him, and if that didn't work, drag him. OK, he didn't trust me the last time I tried to help him. That hurt. The bruise was nothing. My hand went up to where he had hit me that time by the basketball court. His eyes followed my hand. He ducked his head.

Maybe he'd learned. "It's important, Riley."

Riley looked up at me carefully and then nodded. He spoke softly, "OK, Graham."

He put down the empty Coke bottle that he had been holding, and stood up.

*****
Part 8: Cenote

Riley followed me across the village and into the jungle behind the village leader guy. He led us about half a click into the jungle to the side of one of those cenotes, the big sinkholes, about 30 meters across. I looked over the edge, the walls were sheer stone, perfectly smooth, there was water, reflecting the moonlight, about 50 feet down. If you went in, there would be no way of climbing out.

We sat near the edge in a circle. The village leader guy built a small fire. He did it quickly and expertly. He used a Bic lighter to start it. I guess civilization reaches in weird ways.

He opened the brightly coloured woven bag he'd brought with him. He threw some kind of incense on the little fire. The smell was overwhelming. He pulled out a stoppered gourd. He opened it and took a swig, then handed it to me and motioned me to take a swig as well. I did. It tasted bitter, and left a scummy aftertaste. He then motioned me to pass it to Riley. I did. Riley dutifully took a swig. He took the gourd back, restoppered it and placed it back in the bag. He began chanting in Maya, softly, slowly, hypnotically.

The jungle in the moonlight began to dance to the rhythm of his chant, I could see the ripples in the water in the cenote reflecting all the colours of the moon, I could see a black jaguar sitting in a nearby tree watching me, a bemused smile on his face. I could feel every bone in my body and how they were all connected. I wanted to howl at the moon and run through the jungle. I was also horny as hell.

The guy looked at me and made some demand in Maya. I just stared back.

"Xbalanke! Give me your dream!" he hissed.

"I..."

"Give me your dream!" he barked, demanding.

I nodded, and he put a hand on my forehead, and gripped it tightly and let his own head roll back. And he spoke.

With Forrest's voice.

"Hey, guys."

It was all pretty much a blur. Riley and I listened as Forrest's voice talked to us, telling us how he was OK, and that he barely remembered the bad stuff, and that all he really remembered clearly was the good times, and that he missed us, but he couldn't keep coming back, that this had to be the last time.

I remember Forrest's voice talking about me needing to be there for Riley, and that Riley had to choose right now, that night, whether he was going to get on with it or give it up and pack it in, and join Forrest in the other world. Forrest kept calling Riley 'Ri", and kept calling me 'dog', but he said it with some affection.

"Ri! You gonna let Graham take care of you?"

Riley nodded.

"Graham. You gonna take care of him?"

I nodded. Forrest, or the village leader guy, or whoever, looked back at Riley.

"You wanna play vamp food any more?"

Riley looked over at the cenote very carefully, studying it. He looked over at me, staring hard in the firelight. I nodded my head at him, encouraging him.

He shook his head, and answered, "No."

The village leader guy looked at me, he motioned me to stand. He nodded at me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. He nodded at me again. I moved my hands to my belt. He nodded. I unbroached my belt, and unzipped. He nodded again. I pulled it out.

Maybe it was whatever drug he had given us, or maybe it was Riley being there, or maybe some reaction to stress or something, but I was pretty hard. Riley looked at it then up at me. I wish I had a photo of the shocked expression on his face.

"Gray!" he protested.

"Ssss!" The man shushed him. His voice was his own. Forrest was gone. "He does this for you!"

That shut Riley up.

He reached into his bag and pulled out a flat dish and put it on the ground.

"On your knees."

I knelt. I gotta confess that I was trying hard to hold it together. He positioned the dish beneath me between my legs. He pulled out something that looked like paper, only rougher, and began chanting in Maya. He threw some more incense on the fire and waved the paper in the smoke.

He looked at my face and pulled out the gourd and pulled out the stopper and handed it to me. I took a healthy swig and handed it back. He nodded, put the stopper back, and returned the gourd to his back. He pulled out a long thin needle, about 5 inches long, made of some kind of black glass-like stone. He repeated the incense and the waving in the smoke thing, and then handed me the needle.

He nodded at me. I stared at him. My heart was racing. I was panting, and even in the relative cool of the night, sweat was pouring out of every pore on my body. I could feel how my shirt was stuck to my back.

He put more incense stuff on the fire, and we were all surrounded by a thick cloud of sweet-smelling smoke. The second shot of whatever was in the gourd must have hit, because I was feeling no pain. Something told me I would be shortly. I felt the tip of the needle thing. It was razor sharp. I took a deep breath. I looked at the Mayan. He nodded.

I held my cock with my left hand, underneath. I pressed the needle against the top, about three quarters of the way down the shaft. It slid in, and through. I had to fight passing out. I heard Riley say "Shit!"

The Mayan had pulled out a piece of string, he threw more incense on the fire and waved the string through the smoke and handed it to me, taking the needle. I stared at it. The guy couldn't be serious. Needle and thread? I started to push the string through. He handed me back the needle thing. I stifled a serious yelp as the pain shot through my entire body. The needle and string came through the other side. I was panting hard, almost hyperventilating. Sweat was pouring off my face onto my cock and the ground around it. Every muscle in my body tensed with the pain. My legs started to spasm. I tried to catch my breath. Tried to concentrate just on breathing and doing ... this. I could feel the tears streaming down my face, mixing with the sweat.

I looked down. The blood was dripping from the string onto the paper in the dish. As I pulled the string through, he began chanting in Maya again. I could feel every fibre of the hand-woven string as it passed through me, sawing away at me. I was suddenly seized with the fear of what would happen if this became infected, which given the kinds of diseases you found in the jungle, wouldn't be that unlikely a scenario.

By the time I had pulled all three feet of the string through the hole I had punched through my cock, the paper was soaked in blood. My blood. I dropped the string onto the paper, and sat back on my heels, my hands gripping my knees, knuckles white. I tried hard not to think about the pain. Riley, I was doing this for Riley. I couldn't look at him. I also couldn't think about anything else, so overwhelming was the pain. I wanted to scream. Just scream. It took every ounce of will that I possessed not to cry out.

The Mayan lifted the dish up above his head, and then presented it to Riley. "You must offer this blood to the Lords of Death in the place of your own."

I looked over at Riley. His face was white. He stared unbelieving at the dish and then at me.

He barked at Riley, "Give them your twin's blood or give them your own!"

Riley sat trembling. He picked up the paper, soaked with my blood. The Mayan nodded imperiously towards the fire. Riley put the blood-covered paper in the flames and held it as it burned, only letting go as the flames touched his fingers. He then put the string into the flames, and watched it burn.

I had heard stories about what happened when you did LSD or other drugs. Never did any of that stuff, myself. I don't know whether it was the stuff the guy gave me to drink, or the pain -- which was the most seriously intense pain I'd ever felt -- or both, but I couldn't swear whether what was going on was real or the product of a drugged and pain-ridden mind. But I was looking at a wild dog, almost a coyote. I knew it was me. Or part of me. Or maybe a spirit that had possessed me. It looked at me from just beyond the ring of firelight, hiding in the close-by undergrowth of the jungle. I knew its name, Utiyu. Utiyu stared at me fiercely.

I saw a movement in the jungle about 10 meters from Utiyu the dog. My eyes darted over and saw a jaguar emerge from the undergrowth. A jaguar, but not spotted, all black. The jaguar's eyes met mine. I watched him carefully. This was no house cat, this was a wild animal, a fighter, who killed to live and lived to kill. The jaguar approached the dog. I noticed that he was a small jaguar, bigger than the dog, but not those giant jaguars like you see in the nature movies. The dog and the jaguar eyed each other warily. The jaguar let out a low growl. The dog snarled, baring his teeth.

The jaguar didn't hesitate. He pounced on the dog. There was a series of overlapping growls and barks, as the two thrashed around in the undergrowth. Neither Riley nor the Mayan seemed to notice. As I stared at the two animals fighting it out, I knew that this fight mattered. A lot.

The jaguar raised its head and looked at me. He had his claws on the bloodied throat of the dog. The dog was still alive, whimpering. The jaguar was waiting for me to decide. I nodded and motioned with my chin for him to let the dog go. It was defeated, but I couldn't let the jaguar kill it. The jaguar stepped back and the dog got up. He looked at me for one second, ducked his head, almost as a good-bye, and then loped off limping into the darkness of the jungle.

The small jaguar walked slowly over to me, circling around the fire, avoiding it, ignoring the two others, who seemed not to notice him at all. I was mesmerized by the sleek muscles moving under the short black fur. The jaguar came up to me and nuzzled my leg, and then settled down, curled up almost like house cat, against my leg, and went to sleep, purring softly. I somehow knew better than to try to reach out and pet it or touch him, because I knew I would reach down and find nothing there. But I could feel the jaguar's heat against my leg, and hear his breathing and purring.

It felt somehow right that the small jaguar was there. The intense pain somehow lessened. There was movement, I looked up at Riley. He was standing up, almost a zombie.

The Mayan led Riley to the edge of the cenote. He began to chant in Maya, loudly, so the Lords of Death beneath the cenote could hear him.

"Now!" He yelled. Riley started to step towards the edge of the cenote, but stopped himself and hurled the bloody dish into the sinkhole. It took several seconds before we heard the splash.

It was answered by a low rumble of thunder in the distance, or from the other side of the cenote, from beneath the water.

Riley was led back to the fire, and told to kneel in front of the fire.

He turned to Riley. "Give me your arm."

Riley stretched his left arm across to the Mayan leader with Forrest's voice, who reached into his bag and pulled out some kind of jar and opened it, and applied some gross-smelling greasy concoction to Riley's arm, chanting loudly, almost screaming at Riley, as he did, then applied some of it to a small scar on his neck that I hadn't noticed before.

Riley began to shake. I started to panic. Riley fell backwards convulsing on the ground, and lay still. I was relieved to see that was breathing, almost panting, in fact.

I looked over at the Mayan guy, not sure what he had done to Riley, but I couldn't move.

The village leader spoke softly. "It is finished. Your twin, he is safe. Your twin no longer needs to feed the demons with his blood. He will be ok."

The village leader wiped the sweat off his forehead with the bottom of his shirt, and stood. I rose unsteadily to my feet. The small jaguar was gone, if he was ever really there.

He handed me some of the stuff from the jar. He nodded at my still bleeding cock. I applied it to the wounds. It burned like all hell, but the bleeding stopped. I put myself away, and zipped up, and refastened the belt.

He grinned at me. "You had a vision." It wasn't a question.

I nodded. "I think so."

"Do you understand it?"

I thought a minute and nodded. "The stray dog is gone."

He nodded, satisfied. "Does another take his place?"

"A jaguar."

He grinned. "I thought so. I hoped so. Is the dog dead?"

I shook my head. "He ran off into the jungle."

His face got serious. "Utiyu will try to come back. You must be careful." Then he gave me a knowing wink, "But the small jaguar is strong."

I nodded at him in agreement. Then I did a double take. I was pretty sure that I hadn't mentioned that the jaguar was small.

"Can you carry your twin back, Xbalanke?" He grinned at me as he said the name.

I nodded. I pulled his limp body up and managed to sling him over my shoulder into a fireman's carry, and stood up with some difficulty. Whatever that stuff was he had us drink, it was stronger than any alcohol I had ever had.

"Let us go from here. Your twin has no need of the cenote, now."

I must have looked as confused as I felt, because he answered my unspoken question.

"Tonight, either he renounced the demons, or he joined them in Xibalba, the place of the Dead." He gestured significantly at the sinkhole.

"You mean ...?"

He nodded. "He would have jumped." He looked at me with piercing eyes and said softly, "If the dog had won the fight, he would have jumped."

I shivered involuntarily in spite of the humid heat of the jungle night. I followed him back along the jungle path to the village, still reeling from the dream or the drug or the vision or whatever.

*****
Part 9: The Village

We walked back to the village. I could feel blood drying on my leg, plastering the pants to my skin. But mainly I could feel Riley's body on my shoulders.

There was real pain as I got hard, feeling him against me.

About a dozen of the villagers were sitting around a fire, waiting for us, I guessed.

The first thing they did was check out my crotch, which was kind of disconcerting. There were smiles and nods as they saw the blood. The village leader said something softly to them in Maya. I caught the name 'Xbalanke'. They glanced over at me, and got up and slowly came over to me. Each one gently touched me on my arm, and said reverently, "Xbalanke Chan-yat."

The village leader nodded at them, dismissing them, and led me to one of the huts. I looked at him and asked, "'Chan-yat'?"

He cleared his throat but didn't look at me as he answered, "When someone has made the sacrifice that you made, we add 'Chan-yat' to his name. It is a good thing. A very good thing."

The village leader ushered me into the hut, and nodded for me to put Riley down. "He will sleep. Should he wake up, you must be there, do you understand?"

I nodded.

"He will be with fever. When he wakes up, give him water, and nothing else, understand?"

I nodded again.

He blushed a little. "You will dream of your twin tonight. If you wake up, you will want to ... touch him. You must be careful. You must not let the stray dog back in. Do you understand?."

I blushed, and nodded back, reasonably sure I understood.

"Can you do that? Not be the stray dog? Not call Utiyu back from the jungle?"

I swallowed hard, and bit my lower lip. I nodded.

He nodded back. "Good. Now, sleep, Xbalanke Chan-yat." He left us. I lay down on the woven mat beside Riley, and listening to his low regular breathing, fell asleep.

===========================

I dreamt of him. A wild restless dream in which we were two monkeys chasing each other through the treetops, laughing and playing, stopping to feed each other choice pieces of fruit, and playing tag but never quite catching each other, all the time very aware that there was a hungry crocodile on the jungle floor, watching us, waiting for one or both of us to fall.

Two grinning monkeys looking at each other, both secure in the knowledge that each was there to keep the other from falling into the croc's teeth. Both were making brave noises at the waiting crocodile, taunting the crocodile, sitting safely on the high branch of the tree, arms around each other's shoulders, holding each other in safety.

I woke up with a start, and sat bolt upright. I looked over at Riley, still sleeping. I wanted desperately to touch him, hug him, caress him.

I was also rock hard. And in serious pain from that.

I remembered the leader guy's warning about not touching him like a stray dog. So I sat in the still-dark hut for a moment, and just listened to him breathing. I gingerly reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. I caressed it, feeling the relaxed strength. I leaned over and pressed my cheek against his back. He groaned and rolled over towards me onto his back. I leaned up on one elbow and ran a palm across his chest.

He mumbled something in his sleep.

I couldn't make it out. My first thought was that he was gonna be whispering her name. But that wasn't it. He repeated it.

"Xbalanke."

"Hunahpu." I whispered back, feeling a silly grin on my face.

And OK. I had fantasized about this maybe hundreds of times, having Riley next to me, vulnerable, in my power. But now that he was here beside me, I somehow didn't want to live out those fantasies, that fantasy. Somehow just having him there was enough. Or almost enough. Enough for now, anyway.

I ran my fingers along his jaw line, and down along his shoulders. Nice shoulders they were, too.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me. "Xbalanke?" he whispered.

"Right here." I whispered back, a smile on my face.

He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me down to him, and hugged me lightly and fell back asleep. I fell back asleep as well, his arm cradling me, my arm across his chest. I fell back asleep pretty quickly despite the fact that punching a hole through your cock made having an erection on the painful side. There was just something very ... comforting about being held by him.

=============================

I woke up again to hear Riley stirring, and moaning. I got up and found my canteen, and opened it, and put it to his lips. I lifted his head and he drank the whole thing.

"Thanks." he murmured and his head fell back down and he fell back asleep.

I was awake in the dawn light, sitting against the wall of the hut, just watching him, when the Colonel poked his head in. "Early morning recon found no indication of further infestation. We move out in 15, Miller."

"Aye, sir."

"Finn OK?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good job yesterday. Outstanding job, in fact."

"Thank you, sir."

The Colonel left. I reached over and shook Riley's shoulder. "Up and at 'em, Ri. We're moving out."

He groaned, and rolled over to face me. He slowly sat up. He stared at me.

"What the hell happened last night? Last thing I remember was sitting out there by the cenote and hearing Forrest's voice. That must have been one hell of a drink that guy gave us."

He looked at his left arm. Then he looked up at me, something between wonder and confusion in his eyes. I looked. The scars were gone. I reached over and ran my hand over his arm, where the scars had been. I could feel his eyes staring at me, trying to figure out what I was doing, why I was doing it. I pulled my hand away.

"Let's get going."

I stood up and put down a hand. Riley took it and I half pulled him to his feet. I went over to my pack and pulled out the spare pair of trousers. I was aware that Riley was staring as I pulled off the blood-stained trousers and pulled on the clean ones. I kept my back to him. I could feel his eyes on me.

The villagers followed us down to the river. The Colonel walked down with the leader guy. One by one, the villagers came up to Riley and me and touched Riley's arm gently and whispered "Ahau Hunahpu", and then touched mine and whispered "Xbalanke Chan-yat". Each thrust bottles of Coke or tamales or fruit into our hands. The other guys looked fairly mystified at why we were being singled out when all of them had put their asses on the line. Riley and I passed the stuff around to the other guys, which seemed to take the jealous edge off.

The Belizan cop was watching me and working hard at not cracking up every time one of the villagers said 'Chan-yat'. His eyes were twinkling at me.

One of the boys, about 14 maybe, came up to me and his voice cracked as he

said, as though he had been practicing the English words, "Thank you, Xbalanke Chan-yat" and then ducked his head, blushing bright red. I tousled his hair, and grinned at him, which only made him blush more, and scamper back into the crowd. It seemed like I had the makings of at least one Mayan groupie. Riley caught it and threw me a slightly disapproving smile.

The Colonel shook the village leader's hand and barked for us to get into the inflatables. The village leader caught my eye and gave me a grin.

*****
Part 10: The River

The trip down river, back to Belmopan, was uneventful. I looked more carefully at the jungle on the riverside this time. Riley was looking at it for the first time. We sat in the bow of the inflatable, as far away from the others as we could.

Riley spoke for the first time. "It's beautiful here, man."

I nodded in agreement.

He looked over at me and added, "I can't wait to get the fuck out of here."

I chuckled and nodded again.

There was a long silence as the noise of the outboards drowned out the chattering of the rain forests.

"What did that guy mean when he kept calling me your twin?"

"Old Mayan story."

"Yeah?"

"It's about these two monkeys who got turned into men and kicked the Lords of Death's asses and sort of saved the world."

Riley cracked a blushing smile. "I dreamed about being a monkey last night, you and me were both monkeys. Your name was Xbalanke."

I nodded. "Yours was Hunahpu."

He stared at me. "Same dream, huh?"

I nodded again.

"Why am I not surprised?" He shook his head slowly, a small smile on his face.

I smiled back.

"Hey, Gray. Is 'twin' some kind of Mayan slang for what I think it is?"

I let out a sigh. Maybe it was time to do what Forrest had told me to do. Time to tell him. If I could. "I think so, yeah."

He thought about it. He looked over at me. "Is that what you want?"

I hesitated and then met his eyes. They weren't giving anything away. I nodded once. I was pretty sure I blushed.

He looked at me without saying anything, and then nodded back. I couldn't read what that nod meant: that he thought that's what I wanted, or that he understood, or that he wanted it too.

He looked down again. "I had this other dream too, more a nightmare."

I sighed. "If it involved me, a really big black stone needle and some string, it wasn't a dream."

He looked at me his eyes wide. "Holy fucking shit!" His eyes went down to my crotch, then back up to my face.

"I'm OK."

"You sure?"

I nodded.

"Fuck!" he whispered, still staring at me. He swallowed hard.

"I really am OK." I gave him a smile. He nodded back. He looked out at the passing jungle for a long time.

"I do remember what Forrest said last night."

I didn't respond except to nod for him to continue.

"About you taking care of me."

I nodded again, looking at the riverbank for a minute, and then looked back at him. "You gonna let me, Ri?"

He stared at me for a while, searching my face for a clue. "One question."

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"Because you're a mess, man." I joked, with as much affection as I dared in a boat full of Marines.

"No, I mean why would you want to take care of me?"

I hesitated. He was staring at me hard. I swallowed and spoke, but it came out barely a whisper. "Because I've got to. I need to."

That seemed to trigger something for him. He paused and then asked very deliberately, "Do you need me?"

I looked down at the bottom of the boat and whispered, "Yeah." It came out with more emotion than I meant it to.

I looked up to meet his eyes. He searched my face long and hard. Then he nodded.

"OK." He nodded with finality.

I grinned at him, sheepishly, hopefully.

He grinned back.

============================

At the airport, the Belizan constable shook all of our hands and thanked us formally in the name of the people of Belize. I sort of held back. I had to ask him. Riley stayed with me. While the rest of the guys were climbing onto the transport, I asked the constable, "You understand Maya, right?"

He laughed and nodded, "Yeah, I've worked in the West for a long time."

"So... What does it mean? What they were calling me? I saw you laughing."

He played with me, "Xblanake? Just a name, mon. It means 'small ja'.."

I cut him off with a barked, "Come on...'Chan-yat', what does it mean?" The transport engines were starting up.

He nodded and held up his hands, barely keeping from laughing out loud. "'Chan-yat' means ..." He was holding it in, but just barely, "... 'celestial is his penis'." Riley looked at me for a second and just broke up laughing. It startled me, because Riley had barely cracked a smile since we'd left Sunnydale. I hadn't heard Riley laugh since Forrest died.

The Belizan cop couldn't hold back any more and joined in the laughter.

Riley looked at me, putting a hand on my shoulder, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Between breaths he repeated, "Celestial is his pen.." and he couldn't even finish before he doubled over from laughing, leaning on me.

I stood there on the tarmac, turning bright red in the tropical sun, being laughed at, and praying to God that nobody else in the squad ever found out what 'Chan-yat' meant.

"Miller! Finn!" The Colonel yelled from the door of the transport. "Get your candy asses over here, NOW!"

Riley was still laughing as we double-timed it over to the transport.

*****