*****

"What is Burma?" Devon said, his eyes fixed on the TV.

"Oh, no, wrong answer. What is the Dominican Republic," Alex Trebek said to the contestant who had just answered wrong.

"Fuck," Devon said with a tinge of anger, his brow creased.

As another contestant picked another category, Devon prepared to answer, listening to Alex say the answer. "This dynasty's rule ranged from the Persian Gulf to the borders of Poland and from the Caspian Sea to parts of Algeria during the sixteenth century."

Devon thought. Hard. "What is the English Dynasty?"

"What is the Ottoman Dynasty," the female contestant answered.

"Correct. Lucy, you pick the category."

"Well, shit," Devon exclaimed indignantly. "Stupid show."

"How 'bout we flip to VH-1 and see if the Music Jeopardy is on? You kick ass at that, Dev," Xander said, his head lying on the singer's chest as the two lounged on the couch.

"Fuck that. That shit's easy. Who is Madonna, what is 'Do-Wah-Diddy', it's for people who are stupid in the ways of popular music. If they'd ask who was the singer of Black Flag, that'd be something."

"Who is Henry Rollins," Oz said from the armchair.

"Oh, give the guy with the red hair a thousand points," Devon said proudly, then to Xander, he said, "That's my boy."

"This cracked instrument resides in Philadelphia, in Independence Hall," Alex said.

"Oh!" Devon said excitedly. "What is that bell? Oh, fuck. I know this one. It's that bell we saw when your mom took us on the cross -country road trip when we were like fourteen, Oz. Fuck, fuck. What's it called? The Cracked Bell? Fuck. I know this."

"What is the Liberty Bell," a balding man said, receiving a mere one hundred for a correct answer.

"Fuck. Stupid bald guy! I would have gotten it. The Liberty Bell, it was on the tip of my tongue. Fuck."

"You'll get the next one, Devon," Xander said encouragingly. Really, he didn't know why the older boy liked this show. He never answered them right. Xander himself knew that the answer was the Liberty Bell and so did Oz. But every night the boys stayed quiet, allowing Devon the chance to answer. They didn't know why he liked the show. They just knew he did.

"Why can't they pick the pastimes category? I'd rock on that one." He was about to say more when the doorbell rang. He looked at Xander and together they looked at Oz. Oz just raised an eyebrow. "Dude," Devon whined. "We're comfy. We'd do it for you."

"But I'm comfy too, you know."

"Yeah, but you're comfy way over there and we're comfy together and if Xander got up to get the door, I wouldn't be comfy and if I got up to get the door, Xand wouldn't be comfy. This way, only you and not the two of us are uncomfy, see?"

The doorbell rang again. Sighing, Oz stood up, not really angry that he had to get the door. To be honest, he wouldn't want to disturb Dev and Xand. They did, in fact, look really comfy. Oz moved through the living room and around the corner, to the foyer. Running a hand through his hair, feebly trying to straighten it, Oz pulled open the door.

His hand dropped from the handle and he just stood there. After a moment, he said, "Willow."

**

"Turn down the TV," Xander quietly ordered Devon.

Devon did as asked, his fingers manipulating the remote with trained accuracy. "What?"

Xander was silent for a moment. "That's Willow."

"What?" Devon asked again.

"That's her voice," Xander said quietly as he stood up and moved towards the wall was adjacent to the foyer.

"And I'm sorry that I tried to make you choose between me and your friend. I see how wrong I was now."

Xander let out a ragged breath and was only partly aware that Devon had come up to stand next to him.

"And there's no way for me to make it up to you, I know that. The only things that I can offer you are my apologies and the fact that I've learned so much and will never ask you to make a choice like that again."

"He's going to go back to her," Xander whispered sadly.

Noticing the set of Xander's shoulders and the look upon the younger boy's face, Devon knew that he couldn't let Xander listen to much more of this. Entwining his fingers with Xander's, Devon tugged the other boy back, away from the conversation.

"Devon, don't," Xander said as he feebly tried to move back to the wall.

"Baby, stop it. You don't need to hear. . ."

"That he's getting back together with her?"

"You don't know that."

"Then why. . ." Xander's words were cut off by Devon's mouth descending upon his.

"Shhhh," the singer said as he pulled away. "Come upstairs with me."

Xander looked down at their interlocking fingers. "But Jeopardy is on. You never miss it."

Devon sighed and pulled on Xander's hand. "Well, I'm going to miss double jeopardy today because I want to take you upstairs into your goldfish room and lay with you on the bed with the new velvet covers."

Looking into Devon's eyes, Xander said, "But I want to hear what they're. . ."

"Xander, no. You don't want to hear it. Come upstairs with me, baby," he said as he rubbed his cheek against Xander's.

**

"I don't want him to leave us, Dev," Xander said as he lay in the older boy's arms.

"I know. Me either, but if he does, there's nothing we can do about it."

"Fuck that," Xander said angrily.

"Xander. When he started dating her the first time, I felt the same way. Hurt and angry and upset because he picked her over me, but eventually. . ."

"No. This time he's going to pick her over *us*, me and you, and he's going to break up the only real thing I've ever had."

Tightening his arms around Xander, Devon said, "Oh, Xander. You'll still have me."

Xander sighed. "I know and while I'm happy for that fact, it doesn't make me any more happy to not have him too." He heard Devon take a breath to start speaking, but Xander started talking again instead. "He's going down in the basement because he says it's quiet down there."

"So."

"So, he's going down there to think and he doesn't usually do that, which leads me to believe. . ."

"That he's going to decide to go back to Willow, I know. I'm not disputing that. He may really take her back, but what I'm trying to get through to you, is that it'll be okay. We'll still be. . ."

"It won't be the same."

"No, it won't," Devon admitted. "But that doesn't mean that it won't be good." Xander rolled away from Devon and buried his head in the pillow. "Baby," Devon said. Xander didn't respond. "Xander?"

"I don't like being abandoned, Devon. I don't like people leaving me."

Pressing himself against Xander's back, Devon kissed his earlobe then whispered, "I know."

"Why does he want her when he has us? We're happy, right?"

Devon nodded. "Yeah, but we don't know that he wants her yet. We're jumping the gun here a little bit, Xand."

Shifting, so that he was on his back and Devon was leaning over him, Xander asked, "Know why I like goldfish so much?" Devon shook his head. "Because all you have to do is feed them and they'll never go way."

"Goldfish die," Devon said softly.

"But they don't leave you. They don't *choose* to leave you. When I was a kid, they were all I had. They were the only thing I could turn to when my parents were fighting and when everything sucked beyond belief."

"Baby. . ."

"It's like, everything that I love goes away, except for fish." Xander's brow furrowed. "And that sucks."

Devon smiled. "It does suck, but just because people left. . ."

"In the past, doesn't mean that it'll happen now. Yeah, I've had this 'the past doesn't mean that it'll happen in the future' speech before. I'm tired of it."

Sighing, Devon placed his hand on Xander's bare stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to make you feel better and I don't know how. You've never been this upset before and it's new territory for me."

"I just don't want him to go," Xander whispered.

"I know," Devon whispered back as he leaned down to touch his lips to Xander's. What began as a simple touch of lips, turned into a passionate kiss. Xander's arms moved around Devon, pulling him down on top of him and Devon shifted so that he was lying fully on Xander, his hips nestled between Xander's thighs. Thrusting downward on instinct, Devon pulled his mouth away. "We should get out of these jeans," he breathed.

Devon tried to pull up, intending to undo the fly of his jeans and pull them off, but Xander's hands pressed down on his ass, forcing him back down. "Don't go anywhere."

Smiling, Devon said, "But if we don't take off our pants, we'll have to do laundry a day early. I don't want to come in my jeans, Xand. I've done it before and it's. . .squicky." Xander laughed but then bucked his hips, driving his erection into Devon's. The singer's eyes closed and he let out a low moan. "Okay, I don't care if I come in my pants. . ."

Xander's smile widened, but then he flipped them over and backed off of Devon, his hands moving to rid the older boy of his jeans. "I've got a better idea," he said as he tugged the jeans and boxers off of his lover. "Why don't you come in me instead."

When he was naked, Devon sat up and started unbuttoning Xander's jeans. He tugged them down passed Xander's hips until they were pooled around his knees. "Or," Devon said softly. "You can come in me."

Xander blinked. "What?"

Devon shrugged as he set about pulling Xander's pants off the rest of the way. "You can be in me this time," he said nonchalantly.

A bit stunned, Xander stuttered, "B-but, but you don't like that. Eric, remember?"

Sighing, Devon threw the unwanted jeans and boxers to the floor. "Yes, I remember Eric and I remember that I don't like it. Or didn't like it. . .with him."

"Dev. . ."

"I'm not going to leave you, Xander, and I'm going to show you why."

"How is that going to show. . ."

"Because I care about you and I care about you enough to do this."

Xander shook his head. "No, Devon. I don't want you to do this just because. . ."

"I'm not. I want you in me. I've thought about it." Cupping the younger boy's face in his hands, Devon continued, "Eric was a long time ago and you're very different from him."

"Devon," Xander said softly, looking at him with big brown eyes. "I don't want you to do something that you don't really want. . ."

"I wouldn't have offered if I hadn't wanted to do it, baby."

Xander sighed. "And this isn't because I was acting like a big baby about the possibility of Oz leaving?"

Smiling, Devon said, "No. I admit that it made me offer sooner than I was planning to, but. . ."

"You've been planning?"

"Do you want to talk all day or do you want to have sex? I think you know which one I'd prefer."

Smiling almost wickedly, Xander pushed Devon back until he was lying on his back. Xander loomed over him, his hand trailing down the singer's chest and stomach and then pressing against Devon's cock. He didn't wrap his fingers around it; he didn't tease it with light feathery touches. He just pressed his palm to it, feeling the throb as the blood rushed through the organ. Leaning down, Xander kissed the other boy, his tongue stroking and swirling against Devon's.

When Xander pulled back, he asked quietly, "Do you want to do it this way or do you want to be on your stomach?"

Devon thought, not really hard. "Stomach. It'll be easier." Rolling over, Devon placed a pillow under his hips, elevating his pelvis backwards. He let out a shaky breath as he watched Xander reach for the lube. Devon was fairly nervous. It had been a long time and his memories of the last time he was the bottom weren't good. But he knew that he could tell Xander to stop at anytime and that it'd be okay. Xander wasn't Eric. Not even close.

His eyes closed as the cool gel touched his puckered anus and Xander's long, slender finger entered him slowly. He was okay. He'd be okay and he could do this. Devon's breathing steadily increased in pace as Xander prepared him. Xander was doing a good job. He was being careful and only stretching Devon a little bit at a time.

After ten minutes of trying to get Devon to loosen up, Xander leaned over him and asked, "You ready?" Devon nodded and Xander kissed his shoulder. Spreading Devon open with the fingers of one hand, Xander used his other hand to guide his well oiled cock to Devon's entrance. When the head brushed against the tight hole, he felt Devon tense up. "Dev?"

"I'm okay," he said in return.

Xander pressed forward and slowly the head of his cock disappeared within Devon. Letting out a ragged breath, Xander tried to keep his cool and not just thrust mindlessly into his lover. He was so much tighter than Oz. Xander wondered if he should enter him completely or just half-way. Pressing in more, the majority of Xander's shaft slid into Devon.

Xander held his position for a moment and ran his hands down Devon's back, trying to ease away the tension he felt there. "You okay?"

With his eyes still closed, Devon answered, "I'm fine, Xander." He willed his muscles to relax and they did for a moment, until Xander pulled back and then moved back in. He could do this, he knew he could. But he couldn't help but tense up when Xander's hands gripped his hips.

After thrusting only three times, Xander stopped and leaned over. "You're not liking this, are you?" For a moment, Devon was still, but then he shook his head. "Then neither am I," Xander said before pulling back to his knees and then removing his cock from Devon.

"Xander," Devon said quietly, his voice holding a thousand apologies.

"Devon," Xander whispered as he lay down next to the older boy. "It's okay. It's just not something you like and I'm okay with that."

Devon shook his head. "I wanted to, Xander."

"I know, but it's okay. I'd rather have you in me anyway." Xander smiled when Devon rolled onto his back and quirked an eyebrow. "What? You haven't noticed that I moan the loudest when you're fucking me? You haven't noticed that I get really, really hot when you're inside of me?"

"I noticed. I just thought you'd like. . ."

"I don't like anything that makes you that uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry. . ."

"You want to talk all day or do you want to fuck? I think you know what I'd prefer," Xander said with a smile, mimicking Devon's words.

Finally, Devon smiled. "I want to fuck."

Shaking his head, Xander replied, mockingly, "The shock!"

Devon quickly rolled on top of Xander and pressed his lips against the younger boy's. Rocking his hips, he drove his cock hard against Xander's. His mouth trailed down to Xander's neck as his hand moved out to feel around for the bottle of lube. After a moment, he found it and pulled back.

After his erection was adequately slick, Devon moved back in, moving Xander's legs so that the backs of his knees were resting in the crooks of Devon's arms. He slipped into Xander easily and moaned softly when Xander's ass was nestled tightly against his flesh. He pulled back then pressed back in again, repeating the process and finding the pace that he and Xander liked the most.

Xander reached down between their bodies and grabbed his erection, stroking it to the rhythm that Devon had set. It didn't take him long to feel the familiar tightening of his balls and before he could inform Devon, Xander was coming.

Devon smiled when he felt the warm substance hit his stomach. Only a few drops ended up on him, most of it was on Xander's stomach. Devon let out a heavy breath as he barreled towards his own orgasm. With a few powerful thrusts, Devon reached his climax. Devon waited a moment before pulling back his hips and removing his cock from within Xander.

Still breathing heavily, Devon moved his arms, letting Xander's legs hit the bed. Lying his head on Xander's sweaty chest, Devon closed his eyes. He felt like he was going to pass out and Xander's fingers running through his damp, sticky hair didn't help. Rolling his head just slightly, Devon placed a kiss on Xander's nipple. His eyes popped open when he heard, "Did I miss anything?"

Oz was standing in the doorjamb, just looking at the scene. Devon sighed when he felt Xander gently push him off. Sitting up, Devon answered the guitarist. "Just really fucking good sex."

As Oz moved into the room, making his way towards the bed, Xander sat up as well, saying, "I'm going to take a shower." He got up off the bed and moved around Oz with precision, as if he didn't want to touch or even be that close to the red head.

Sitting down on the bed, Oz watched as Xander quickly exited the room. "Why's he being so distant?"

Devon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "He thinks that you're going back to her."

"Yeah?"

Devon nodded. "Yeah. I think it too."

Shaking his head, Oz replied, "I don't know what I want, Devon."

"Well that certainly sucks and it doesn't make me feel real good."

"Why does everyone think that I'm so together? Why can't I be confused too? I'm just as screwed up as everyone else, why don't you give me a break?" Oz asked, his voice rising in an un-Ozlike fashion.

"Whatever," Devon said, trying not to get mad. "Have you even noticed how calm I've been about all of this? I'm giving you a break because I know you're not together. But Xander doesn't and I think he has a right to be scared."

"I'm not doing this to hurt him."

"And last time you didn't do it to hurt me, but it did."

"Devon," Oz said softly.

"I'm over it, Oz, I'm okay, but Xander's not taking this well."

"Maybe I should get in the shower with him?"

Standing up and letting his hand trail through the sticky substance on his stomach, Devon replied, "Maybe you should go down to the basement and figure out what you want before you hurt him any more."

Devon quietly left the room to jump into the shower with Xander, leaving Oz just sitting there on the bed, staring at the goldfish without really seeing them. He'd have to make a decision. He knew that. He'd have to hurt Xander and Devon or hurt Willow. Honestly, he wanted all three, but it was painfully obvious that he could never have all three.

Sighing once more, Oz stood up and left the room, heading down to the basement where he would sit for a few hours and try to make up his mind. He had to. He had to decide once and for all.

~end~