*****

Pausing the game, Xander looked up. "Where are you going?" he asked Oz, who stood looking down at him.

"Dinner," the guitarist replied.

"With Willow," Devon added as he came into the living room and plopped himself down on the couch.

"It's not a date," Oz quickly denied, not wanting Xander to get the wrong idea.

But it was too late. "Then why do you look so good tonight?"

Sighing and shaking his head, Oz said, "I'm just going to talk with her. It doesn't mean anything."

"And besides," Devon interjected, "he doesn't look any nicer than he usually does."

Looking behind him at Devon, Xander said, "He dyed his hair."

"Yeah," the singer said with a nod, then added, "but yellow isn't his best color. If he was trying to look really nice for her, he'd have gone with black or brown or gone back to red."

Xander looked back at Oz. "It's true Xand," the shorter boy said. "Yellow isn't my color. It makes my eyes look creepy."

"How long are you going to be gone?"

Lowering himself to his knees, Oz leaned in close and whispered, "Not long." He quickly captured Xander's mouth and was surprised when the younger boy didn't pull away. The kiss intensified for a moment before Oz reluctantly pulled back. Moving up to the couch, he kissed Devon quickly before mumbling, "I'll be back soon."

Once he heard the front door close, Xander turned around and jumped up on the couch, catching Devon by surprise. As he pressed the singer into the couch, Xander asked, "Do you think Oz is. . ."

"Xander," Devon sighed. "Stop worrying about it."

Xander sighed heavily before rolling over so that he was squished between the back of the couch and Devon. "You're not worried?"

"Nope." Creasing his brow, Xander asked why. "Because nothing good comes from worrying. If he goes back to her, he goes back to her. Yeah, it'd suck, but fuck it. If he stays, then yay for us."

"You're very calm," Xander stated, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Devon shrugged as best he could as he continued to lay. "Smoked some pot." Xander smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey," Devon said, defensively. "Oz and I had to bond. And you know what it means that he had to get high before seeing her?" Xander just blinked. "It means that he didn't want to go."

"So?"

"So?" Devon echoed.

"He told me that he loves her, so just because he didn't want to see her doesn't mean that he doesn't want to go back with her. When Cordelia and I were split, I dreaded seeing her in the halls, but that didn't stop me from pretending every night that I was with her." Lifting up, Xander carefully moved over Devon and then moved off the couch, sliding back down to where his back was pressed against the lower part of the couch. He picked up the controller and started playing War Gods again.

"You want to play two player?" Devon asked as he rolled onto his side, his eyes fixed on the screen.

"No," Xander answered sullenly and firmly.

Devon sighed then said, his eyes moving to the back of Xander's head, "You going to be in a pissy mood forever now?"

Xander dropped the controller and stood up. He made it all the way to the front door before he heard Devon calling after him. "Where are you going?"

Turning, Xander saw the singer standing at the edge of the foyer, his head resting on the wall. "I'm going to go see if Giles needs help with. . .something."

"Why?"

Sighing again, Xander shrugged. It was an exaggerated movement, which required the use of the entire length of his arms. "Because I don't want to be here right now."

Shaking his head and closing his eyes, Devon said quietly, "I don't understand what I did wrong here, Xand."

"You didn't *do* anything, Devon."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I don't want to be here right now," the younger boy repeated.

"I don't. . ."

"Because you're not sharing my concern, Devon. You're being Mr. Mellow Man and I can't deal with it. I want you to be worried with me. I want you to say, 'Fuck, Xander, I don't know what he's going to do.' I want you to care and I need you to. . ." his voice trailed off as he looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck, I don't know, but don't want to be the only one who is fucking scared that when he comes home he's going to say that he and Willow are back on again."

Devon stayed silent for a long moment before pushing away from the wall and taking a few steps closer to his lover. When he did speak, his voice was low and soft and there was just a hint of strain to it. "You want me to tell you that I'm scared? Alright, Xander. I'm *fucking* scared. Fuck, Xander, I don't know what he's going to do, but I'm so tired of caring about it. This is new for you, but it's old for me. This isn't the first time he left me; I'm used to it and I'm not going to cry over it and I'm certainly not going to waste my day and my energy wondering if he's kissing her and if he's kissing her with more passion than he kisses me. Yes, I want him, Xander, but I know from past experience that I can live without him."

"Well, that's fine for you," Xander snapped. Even though his voice had lost its hard edge, it was dripping with distaste.

Devon shook his head again. "Fine, go to Giles'." When Devon turned around, he started to move away from Xander, but was stopped by the younger boy's voice.

"What are you going to do?" he asked quietly.

"Smoke some pot, play Nintendo, write fucked up lyrics that no one but me will understand?" Looking over his shoulder, Devon asked, "Want to smoke a little with me?"

"You know I don't smoke pot."

"Yeah," Devon said quietly, nodding before he started walking to the living room again. He sat back down on the couch and leaned back, closing his eyes. He heard Xander come back into the room and then felt the couch sink down next to him. "You're quick, you must've sprinted over to Giles, read a sentence and then sprinted back, huh?"

"You're funny," Xander said, his voice dull as he leaned back and curled into Devon so that his head was resting on the singer's shoulder.

"Things'll be alright, Xand."

**

"Hey," Oz said as he stepped into the living room.

Looking up and removing his mouth from Xander's nipple, Devon raised his eyebrows and said, "What's up?"

Moving his eyes to lock with Xander's, Oz said, "Hey, Xander."

"Hey, Oz," Xander said, fully acknowledging the tension that had become customary when he was in the same room as the guitarist.

"What are you guys doing?" Oz asked, his voice sounding almost lifeless.

"Well," Devon started, then continued as he turned back to Xander, "I was just sucking on his nipple and I was getting ready to do this." The singer's hand moved down to cup Xander's groin through his jeans and his mouth reattached itself to the nipple. Xander's hips rocked up, pressing his growing erection into the palm of Devon's hand. Devon lifted his head once more and looked at Oz. "Then I was going to take off his clothes, followed by mine and then have some sex which will ultimately result in mind blowing orgasms." Lifting his head up more, Devon asked his life long friend, "You want in?"

"Yeah, I'll get in on that," Oz replied, his eyes still locked with Xander. "I mean, if it's okay." Oz waited until Xander nodded slightly before moving to the couch. He moved to his knees and just looked up at the two other males. Devon moved his head up and pressed his mouth to Xander's and for a while, Oz simply watched. He watched the movements of their heads, he listened to the smacking sounds of their mouths, he could almost feel the heat rising between the two. Sighing almost sadly, Oz pulled off his shirt before moving his hands to the fly of Xander's jeans.

The only thing Xander did in response was to lift his hips to allow Oz easier access. Devon, however, pulled his mouth from Xander's, much to the younger boy's dismay, and watch as Oz pulled the jeans from Xander's legs, the boxers coming off with them. When Devon saw the guitarist's skilled fingers wrap around the base of Xander's erect penis, he turned his head, gave the younger boy a quick kiss, then slid off the couch. His pants and boxers were off before Oz's mouth slipped over the head of Xander's cock.

Moving behind Oz, Devon unfastened Oz's pants after he had positioned him on all fours, and then pulled the pants and boxers down until they were around his knees. Moving around Oz for a moment, Devon dug underneath the couch, producing a bottle of lubricant. He smiled as he moved behind Oz again and slicked up his hard cock. He didn't bother applying any lube to Oz; his cock was slick enough as he guided it to Oz's small opening. He buried the head of his cock within Oz and didn't stop until he was completely inside Oz, his cock pulsing as Oz's tight tunnel radiated with heat.

As Oz lapped hungrily at Xander's balls, he moaned as Devon began to thrust in and out of him. He wanted to focus on one or the other, giving head or getting fucked, but he couldn't. His attention was divided, but Oz tried to ignore his throbbing cock and try to make Xander come. Moving his mouth back up, he engulfed Xander's dick once more, swallowing all he could of it. One of Xander's hands wrapped in Oz's hair and held the guitarist in place as Xander's hips rocked faster. The fingers tightened for a moment and Oz heard Xander's groan as hot liquid was shot into his mouth. The fingers relaxed and Oz pulled his head back and swallowed.

Pulling out of Oz when he saw Xander come, Devon moved Oz around and pulled him forward. Oz ended up on his back, his lower body raised as his lower back rested on Devon's thighs. Devon slipped back into Oz easily and used his hands on the guitarist's hips to move him. Oz's hands moved down to his own erection and using them both, he began to bring himself to orgasm, using Devon's steady rhythm. But just as he felt like he was going over the edge, his hands were pulled away by Devon right before the singer leaned down and captured Oz's lips with his own.

Oz moaned into Devon's mouth as Devon's hand wrapped around his cock. His soft stroke made Oz spiral into his climax. Devon continued to pump into him as he leaned back, pulling his mouth away from Oz. When Oz opened his eyes, he found Devon staring at him intently, the gleam of understanding and knowledge in his eyes. Raising his arm, Oz cupped Devon's cheek in his hand and at that moment, Devon closed his eyes, pressed his cheek hard against Oz's hand and came, his cock spasming within Oz.

When the two separated, they looked up at Xander on the couch. He was lying back, his cock hard, jutting upwards proudly once again. One hand was wrapped around it, moving up and down with lazy speed. Both boys moved forward, but Oz put a hand on Devon's arm and just looked at him. Silently, they held a conversation. Devon settled back down, his legs folded as he watched Oz move forward, then up on the couch next to Xander.

Oz and Xander's eyes met, but only for a moment. Oz began to kiss Xander's collarbone with care. He moved over more so that he was straddling the younger boy and before Xander even knew it, Oz slid down his erection and began moving on top of him. Oz wasn't hard. He wasn't moving for his own pleasure, he was moving for Xander's. Sure, there was that tinge of lust that spread from his brain down to his cock, but Oz didn't need to come a second time. He needed to make Xander come again.

Placing his hands on Oz's hips, Xander pulled him until he was in the best position then helped Oz move up and down on his cock. Xander fully realized that Oz wasn't hard and that at best, the older boy was only getting vague pleasure from the act, but as he felt his balls tighten with the need of release, Xander didn't care much about anything other than coming.

His hips bucked up hard as he let his orgasm roll through him, his hands tightening on Oz's hips. A grunted sigh accompanied his orgasm, followed by a wave of fatigue. Xander's head rolled to the side and he looked at Devon, who just gave him a small smile that hinted at sadness before moving up to his knees and crawling forward. Pulling himself up for a moment, Devon leaned in and kissed Xander. When he pulled back, he murmured, "Sleep, baby."

As Xander's eyelids slid closed, Oz moved off of him, his eyes avoiding Devon's. Picking up his boxers, Oz stood up and made his way to the kitchen, fully aware that Devon was following him. He opened the refrigerator and stared inside. Oz wasn't hungry, he wasn't thirsty, he just needed something to do besides look at Devon. When it became apparent that Devon was going to do nothing but stand leaning against the counter staring at him, Oz asked, still looking at the week old pizza, "You ready for the gig tomorrow night?"

When Devon didn't answer, Oz was forced to pry his eyes from the pizza and look at Devon. The older boy just looked back for a minute before crossing his arms and cocking his head to the side. "That was goodbye sex wasn't it?" Oz looked down at the floor. "You asshole," Devon said firmly, but not angrily. "You asshole," he said again, this time stressing the last word.

Oz looked up, the expression on his normally expressionless face unreadable. "Devon," he said quietly.

"Just stop. I've heard the speech," Devon said, his hands held up before him like a barrier. His voice still wasn't angry, but the hurt contained within it was undeniable. Devon closed his eyes and shook his head and after a moment, his eyes opened and he let out heavy breath. "I don't know why I thought this time would be different."

Setting his jaw off to the side, his eyes stinging with the beginning of tears, Oz asked, "Do you want me to move out?"

Devon looked down as his hands fell to his side. "No," he answered as he looked back up. For the next minute, he just stood there, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes unwavering as he studied his long time friend. Finally, he said, "I don't understand you." He shook his head. "There's something wrong with you," he said quietly. "Something wrong with your value system."

"Dev. . ."

"One day you'll realize it." With that, Devon turned and moved out of the room, leaving Oz standing alone in the darkened kitchen, the light from the refrigerator casting a creepy glow on his body.

**

"Hey, Xand," Devon whispered while he tugged on his lover's hand. "Xand," he said louder.

Xander's eyebrows lifted, his mouth pursed, then his eyes opened. After a moment, his eyes focused on Devon. He smiled. "Devon. Tired. Sleep."

Devon couldn't help but smile. "'Kay, sleep is good, but let's go upstairs."

"Goldfish?"

His smile widened as Devon replied in fake New York accent, "Yeah, we'll sleep with the fishes again tonight."

"Mobster," Xander mumbled as he sat up and swung his feet over the couch. Taking in a deep breath, Xander felt his mind clear up a bit. "Where's Oz?" he asked as he looked around the room.

"Kitchen. Let's go upstairs," Devon said as he tugged Xander to his feet.

Once they were upstairs and lying down in bed, the covers drawn up over them, the only light coming from the small light in the aquarium, Devon pressed himself to Xander, his chest to his lover's back. His arms were wrapped around the boy as he whispered, "I think Oz made his decision."

Xander's head turned as he tried to look at Devon. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Devon's arms tightened without the singer meaning them to. "He's going to go back with her, Xander. We're out."

"What?" Xander said softly. "But he. . .we. . .things were. . ."

"He was saying goodbye. He was being selfish and getting one last fuck from us before. . ."

"Shut up, Devon," Xander ordered, no real force in his voice.

"You okay?" Devon asked.

Xander sighed. "Well," he started slowly. "I hope he's happy with her."

"Xand."

"Dev."

"Are you. . ."

"I'm fine. I'm tired and I can't be all pissed off right now. Takes too much energy. Right now I'll just be sad, okay?"

Devon nodded, then craned his neck to give Xander a light kiss. "Okay."

"As much as I was worried about it, for some reason, I let myself pretend that I was pretty sure that he'd pick us. I do that a lot. I must have a need to be disappointed."

"I didn't think he was going to take her back, either. I thought he'd never do that to me again. I thought that he'd have learned something. I thought that he would have realized that I was. . .whatever," Devon finished with a shake of his head.

"Oz is stupid," Xander said as his head moved back to face forward.

"Yeah, he is."

"What's it going to be like between you two now?"

Devon shrugged. "Like before, I guess. He's still going to be living here and so he'll be my best friend, we'll talk about everything except the stuff on our minds. We'll play in the band together, but we won't play for each other anymore." Devon stopped and thought about how upset he actually was that Oz would do this to him again. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a ragged sigh, Devon said, "Xander, I'm sad."

"Me too. Every time I think something's solid, I find out that it isn't. That really sucks."

"It does."

"Well, I hope he's happy her," he said again, no emotion of any kind in his voice except the slightest hint of futility.

~end~