*****

Sod it all to hell.

Spike was bored.

He was sitting in a chair, staring sightlessly at a telly, in a Watcher's house. A bleedin' *watcher's* house!

And he couldn't kill the watcher.

He couldn't kill *any* humans. He couldn't kill or even *hurt* a bloody living thing.

Sod it all.

His unlife was sucked. He chuckled to himself, without the least bit of humur. At least he *wished* it sucked. He wished he *could* suck.

Sod it all to hell!

The fact that he couldn't kill humans put a serious cramp into his options for ridding himself of his boredom, let alone, his style. BC-before the chip-if boredom had reared its ugly head he would have just gone out, stalked, captured, tortured, and eventually killed some random human. Or, hell, he'd have just snatched someone up and snacked.

His unlife had been good back then.

Fun.

B.C.

*Damn*, but he missed the fun.

Now what did he have? Killing demons. His own kind. *Not* that he had a problem killing vampires and demons. Hell, he didn't care a sod about vampire and demon ethics! *Ethics*, he snorted. Yeah. Right. He'd always killed whomever, *what*ever he bloody well wanted to! Damn it! He wanted to feed on some *human* blood! He wanted to bite down into a hot, *pulsating*, jugular! He wanted to *taste* and *feel* hot, fear-filled, *human* blood rushing into his mouth.

Sod it all to bloody hell.

He stood and stalked about the room. Pacing about like some type of caged animal.

He was *so* fucking bored.

"Yes, well, that would be fine, then. Whatever you think would be best."

Spike perked up a bit when he heard the watcher's voice. There was more to *that* one than his merry band of kiddie-do-gooders thought.

"No. No, really. I don't think-No. Now look here! That is *not* what I wanted and I'm *quite* sure I gave *explicit* instruction! Just *do* it." Giles slammed the phone down causing Spike to grin.

"Someone tryin' to give you the run around, luv?" Spike asked him, sitting back down.

"What?" Giles took off his glasses, cleaning them with a handkerchief retrieved from his pocket.

"The phone, watcher. Someone was trying to give you a run around? Do you a dirty?"

"Yes."

Spike grinned. "Gave 'em what for, then, didn't ya?"

Giles gave a slight smile. "Yes, well, I *tried* to. I'll wait and see if it did any good."

"*I* certainly wouldn't want to cross you after that, pet!"

Giles smiled at him, placing his glasses back on. "No, of course you wouldn't, Spike. I'm sure you would have-well, let's see." he paused, considering. "Um, maybe twisted my head 'round until you heard each and *every* vertebrae in my neck snap, crackle, and pop. Yes, that's it. Right?"

Spike tried to look hurt.

"What, then? We've no mystery left between us, pet? I've watched Freddy movies with you! *All* of them, dammit! I'm an open book to you now? Say it isn't so!" Spike smiled prettily at Giles as he watched Giles pick up a book and sit down on the couch.

"Look at you! We never *talk* anymore! You go straight to a bloody book!"

"I'm going to put a stop to your Oprah, Spike."

"Oh! Just like a man! Blame *Oprah*, bless her heart, when all the time it's *you*."

Giles sighed and Spike fought to hold back his grin. He was no longer bored. In fact, he was having a smashing good time. He pouted at Giles.

Giles opened his book and did his best to ignore the bleached blonde vampire.

"Giilllesss."

"*What*?"

"I'm bored."

Giles didn't look up from his reading. "I've a *wonderful* library, Spike. Help yourself. Or, you may watch one of your nauseating soap operas. Just, please, *please* do shut up."

"I don't wanna watch telle right now." Spike again gave a pretty pout. "My shows aren't on anyway. Nothin' good on at nights, pet. Bloody reruns! I wan't you to *talk* to me watcher!"

"Humm. Fine. Tell me about the blokes that snatched you up."

Spike grinned and rose from the chair to saunter over to the couch and plop down next to Giles. He moved his arm so that it rested along the back of the couch, behind the watcher.

"Don't 'member 'em, really. Big. Lots of 'em. And *Big*! Did I say 'big'?" Spike rested his other hand atop Giles' crotch, turning slightly to face the watcher with wide innocent eyes.

"Spike?"

Spike pushed down a bit upon Giles. "Hum? What is it watcher?" Spike rubbed at Giles' growing erection. "What's this, then, watcher?" Spike leaned in and licked Giles' ear. Giles jumped and scooted away.

Spike gave him a hurt look and scooted closer. "I'm bored." He whispered into the watcher's ear. "Don't ya want to know more 'bout vampires?" Spike licked his ear. "I'd *like* to go out and kill." He licked Giles' ear again. "I'd like to turn your slayer into hamburger with my teeth." Spike sucked Giles' earlobe into his ear and bit down. "But I can't. I'm stuck here. Stuck here doing nothing but wishing."

"And that leads you to sucking on my ear, Spike? And how does *that* come about, then?" Giles cleared his throat. "In the vampire realm of reality, that is?"

Spike snickered. "Well, I'd *also* like to bugger you 'till you can't stand, watcher."

Giles flushed and pulled back.

"You-you are really the most deplorab-"

Spike shut him up with a kiss.

Not a tentative one.

Nope.

Spike rolled over and on to him. Spike placed his knees on each side of Giles' thighs, ripped open his shirt, sending buttons flying, and locked his lips over the watchers. When Giles opened his mouth to protest, Spike sank his tongue in. Deep. Spike leaned in close and brought his hands up, running over Giles' chest, caressing his nipples with his thumbs. Spike moved his erection closer and over the watcher 's. His hands slid up from Giles' nipples and into his hair. He grasped the watcher's head and held it still while he let his tongue sweep in and taste. Spike didn't pull back until he felt the answering thrust of Giles' tongue. Spike pulled back a bit and felt Giles move forward, trying to recapture the kiss. He smiled and pulled back further. When Giles whimpered he sent his hands down to the opening of the watcher's pants, undoing them with ease.

He leaned in for another kiss. "Lift up, pet." Spike mumbled against Giles' lips. Spike pulled his pants down when he complied. "That's it, pet." Spike hummed his pleasure when Giles' erection sprang free.

"I *knew* you liked me, watcher." Spike slid down and made quick work of removing shoes and pants. He stood and quickly divested himself of his clothes.

Spike kneeled back down between the watcher's legs and pushed them apart. He ran his tongue along Giles' tightly drawn sac. He sucked the watcher's balls into his mouth and lashed his tongue over andacross them while his hands slid up from Giles' waist to his chest, his thumbs stopping to caress his nipples. Spike let Giles' sac go and ran his cool tongue up the watcher's erection to suck the seeping head into his mouth. Spike moved his right hand to the watcher's mouth, shoving two fingers in, while his left hand went down to grip Giles' straining cock and hold it tight.

Giles sucked at the fingers given to him and bucked his cock into the tight hold of Spike's hand and the cool ecstasy of his mouth. Spike pulled his fingers out of Giles' mouth and brought them, wet and slick, to the watcher's puckered rosebud. Spike sank his mouth down on Giles' cock. Down until he could swipe his tongue across the watcher's sac once more and pushed his fingers in. Giles moaned and pushed his ass against Spike's invading digits. Spike grinned as best he could with a mouthful of Giles, and began moving his fingers in and out of the grasping ass of the watcher.

Spike kept working his fingers in and out of Giles' ass while he pulled his mouth from the watcher's cock. "That's nice, eh, watcher? You like that?" Spike murmured to him as he slid his fingers out of Giles' ass and reached down for his own iron hard length. Spike rose to his knees and brought the head of his cock to the watcher's waiting, open hole. Spike pumped Giles' cock, hard and fast, as he pushed his cock into the watcher.

Both hissed in pleasure.

Spike let go the cock he held and pushed in deep, bringing his body up to cover Giles' as his mouth went to cover the watcher's. Spike's hands went to clutch at and hold tight to the watcher's shoulders while his tongue drove deep into the watcher's mouth and his cock pulled out. Spike kept up the maddening reverse assaults. Cock in, tongue out. Tongue in, cock out.

Giles rose and fell to capture each invading organ. His mouth pulled back and open for the tongue and his ass pushed up for Spike's hard cock. Giles pulled his legs back, wide, and over, resting the back of his knees upon Spike's shoulders.

He let the vampire fuck him.

He *demanded* the vampire fuck him.

And the vampire did.

Spike kept thrusting his tongue and cock into the watcher as he reached down to work at the watcher's cock, jacking him in time with his hard and fast thrusts.

Spike pulled his mouth away from Giles' and placed it at his neck. He 'd bite now, if he could. But he couldn't, so he sucked and licked while he fucked him. He chewed a bit. No harm in chewing. He moved his mouth to the watcher's ear.

"You gonna cum for me, watcher? Cum all over me?" Spike sucked Giles' earlobe into his mouth. He chewed a bit more. Nummy. "Huh? Cant' hear ya, pet. Gonna cum?"

"Harder." Giles gasped.

Spike snickered. Oh yes. Much more to this one.

Spike moved his hands beneath Giles' knees and pushed them up until each rested on either side of the watcher's head and began to pound into him. He stared into Giles eyes, grinning, as he began a new rhythm. Hard. Really hard. Fast. Really fast. Spike pounded into the watcher, loosing all thoughts of being careful not to hurt. He just fucked. Fucked until he felt Giles' hot release shoot across his stomach and his own release boil forth and jettison from his cock and into Giles in cool soothing spurts.

Spike collapsed, boneless, upon the semi-conscious watcher, panting. Even though he didn't need to breathe, he was panting. He grinned. He was no longer bored.

"Now *that* was fun, watcher." Spike rolled over and off of Giles. "You sure now how to show a vampire a good time." He chuckled.

Giles sat up and found his glasses. He placed them smartly upon his head. He sniffed.

"You really are the *most* deplorable vampire, Spike."

~~the end~~