Xander delayed calling Angel as long as he could, waiting until Spike was spending the evening with Giles. When it was almost time for Xander to leave for work, he asked Giles to borrow the telephone, and walked to the back bedroom to talk in private, or almost private, since his ever-present shadow was with him. Spike, knowing exactly what time Xander left for work, became increasingly clingy as the time drew near.

"Angel, I hope I didn't wake you." Xander was hesitant, not knowing where to start and afraid of what Angel would do to him when he found out what a monster he was. "I wanted to ask you something about this Sire/Childe thing." His voice grew softer until he was barely audible at the end of the sentence.

Spike was sitting at Xander's feet with his head in the young man's lap as Xander played with his hair. Xander's chest hurt; he did not want to give up Spike. He didn't want to loose his sweet vampire.

Angel thought Xander sounded like he was about to cry, and tried to sound reassuring. He wondered what was wrong. What would upset the boy so much? Had something happened to his Childe?

"Xander, you didn't wake me, and you know I'm always willing to answer your questions. The more information you have, the better it is for Will."

Xander smiled. Only he and Angel called Spike, Will. Angel's first concern was for the well being of his favourite Childe, and Xander knew that to Angel, the vampire would always be *Will*. "Angel, it's um, well, it's" //Great Harris. Keep Dead boy on the phone all night while you babble at him.//. "Angel, how close are a Sire and Childe?" Xander took a deep breath, and forced his real question out. "I mean dotheyenduphavingsex?"

Spike sensed his Xander's discomfort. He did not understand why, but he knew his Sire needed to be comforted. He knew what comforted him, so he sat on the bed next to Xander and ran his fingers through the young man's hair. "Pet Precious, Pet." He started purring, hoping it would work to make his Sire feel better.

The vampire's obvious attempts to comfort him sent Xander over the edge, and he could no longer hold back his tears. "Angel, I'm so sorry. I'm evil. You need to come here and take him back with you before I hurt Will. I'm sorry. He's so sweet and helpless. I love my Childe. I don't want to hurt him."

Spike grabbed the telephone. It was evil. It was making his Sire cry. It had to die. "Bad" He threw it against the wall, but the impact hurt the wall more than the phone. "Bad. Bad. Evil. Evil." Spike stomped over to the defenceless inanimate object and crushed it under his boots.

The vampire's actions stopped Xander's tears. He tried not to laugh; kids hated it when you laughed at them, but Will was so cute. "Sweetling, you're a vampire. Remember vampire are evil. They don't smash evil things. They like them."

"Bad phone. Telephone hurt Sire. Bad." Spike shook his finger at the former telephone and stuck his tongue out at it.

Xander forced himself up from the floor, where he had fallen in reaction to the vampire's antics. "Will, no baby talk remember?" He walked over to the vampire and cupped the blonde head in his hands. "I have to go to work to make money, so we can buy Giles a new telephone."

Spike started to pout; it usually worked to get him whatever he wanted from his Sire.

Xander sighed, " I have to go to work. " He kissed each blue eye. "Play nice and mind Mr. Giles. If you hurt him, it will set off your implant."

Spike's lower lip began to tremble and he whimpered. Xander closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the vampire's. "I'll be back as soon as I can Sweetling." And hopefully Angel will have come to take you home by then, he mentally added as he lead the vampire out into Giles' living room.

****************************************************************************

He was not surprised to find Angel waiting with Giles when he returned from work, though he was bewildered by the absence of a certain blonde vampire.

A thunderstorm had been slowly rolling across town for the last hour. Xander hoped Buffy and Riley remembered Spike's recent problems started in a thunderstorm, and did not take him with on patrol tonight. It wasn't a good idea when they didn't know what the thunder might do to the vampire.

"Hey Giles, Angel," He nodded at each man scanning the room with increasing concern. "Where's Blo..." He was cut off before he could finish the question by a charging, peroxide cyclone.

"Sire," Spike cried as he leaped into Xander's arms. The young man, unprepared for the onset, toppled over backwards. As he fell on the floor, a near by clap of thunder rattled the tiny house. "Sire," the distraught vampire sobbed and struggled to nestle into Xander.

Instinctively, Xander pulled his Childe tight against his chest. "Sh, sh, it's alright, Sweetling. Sire's here. I've got you. I'll protect you." He soothed and petted the shivering body in his arms, repeating the reassurances and endearments until Spike quieted down. When he thought the blonde was no longer on the verge of hysterics, he moved them to the couch, pulling Spike into his lap.

Giles watched amazed. Whilst he was at the conference the boy had transformed into a responsible adult. Giles had never seen Xander show such tenderness and attention to another's needs. The boy, man Giles corrected himself was behaving like a parent with a small child, a very loving parent, unlike the abominations Xander's parents were.

"X-X-Xander, Angel said you called for him to come and take Spike back to Los Angeles," Giles asked, disbelieving the request when he looked at the two intertwined on his sofa, and the effortless way the young man was able to calm the vampire. "I don't think that's a good idea." The watcher finished, pointing to the tightly embraced pair.

Giles thought of the time he and Angel had spent trying to quiet Spike's desperate wails. They started that evening, using anything that came to mind, when the first distant rumble of thunder set the vampire off. Spike become increasingly agitated as the storm neared, and as the thunder rose in volume, so did his cries. He had finally cried himself into an exhausted sleep shortly before Xander arrived at midnight.

Xander's actions did not surprise Angel. He knew, that despite what the mortal believed, he was a natural. The man was not born to be a master vampire, but he was born to be a father.

Angel wondered what set the young man off, until he saw Spike in Xander's lap. The vampire was nuzzling the boy's neck in the least innocent of ways. Angel remember those biting kisses and tickling licks. It was Will's way of announcing that he wanted to have sex, and if Xander didn't get the hint soon... Yep. The blonde's hands were starting to wander.

It was time to explain the exact nature of the Sire/Childe relationship to the mortal. Angel stood up. "Xander we need to talk." He looked around the apartment and, not seeing any place for a private conversation, said, "Let's take a walk."

The idea of leaving with Angel was greeted with relief by Xander. He would be delighted to leave with anyone now that Spike's hands were exploring area's of his anatomy he did not want to see the light of day. "Sure"

He moved to rise and Angel held out a hand to help him up, but Xander's Childe had other ideas.

"Go away." Spike tightly griped the brunette's torso, "My Sire, get your own. Bad man."

The mortal unhooked the vampire's arms, and pulled him around until he could look directly into the blue eyes, "Will, no baby talk remember?" He held the blonde's hands together in his lap. "You don't say 'Go away'. You say 'Sod off! or 'Get bent!,' and it's not 'Bad man.' It's 'Peaches."

"Ac-actually," the Watcher interrupted, "Wanker' or 'Nonce' would be more appropriate." He offered Angel a half smile, but the older vampire was too busy watching the immature demon to notice the watcher's implied apology.

Will had decided the verbal warning was not strong enough and was currently sticking his tongue out at his true Sire. Angel remembered the gesture as one the younger vampire resorted to when frustrated. He chuckled, and was about to return the gesture when Xander saw what his Childe was doing.

"Will, " he said patiently. "Vampires don't do that. They growl"

Spike growled at Angel, who was visibly restraining himself from laughter, and when Spike added a "Sod off" for good measure, Xander kissed his forehead and showered him with praise. Spike sneered at Angel in triumph.

His triumph was short lived, though. Xander shifted the vampire off his lap and rose from the couch. Walking toward the door, he stopped at Will's whimper.

"Sweetling, I have to go with Angel." The mortal glanced at the older vampire., wondering how to explain to his Childe that he wanted to talk to Angel *alone*. "He's um, he's like, my Sire. I have to go with him."

Will looked up at his Sire, clearly believing he was about to be abandoned. "Bye" he whispered, "love you." He curled up in the corner of the couch and resumed the rocking and toneless humming from earlier that evening.

Angel gasped. Xander glanced at the dark haired vampire, he was paler than normal and trembling slightly. "Oh God, that's what he said that night."

Giles and the young man stared at the vampire in confusion. He saw their befuddlement and explained in a monotone, "Spike and I had a fight. He didn't want me to live him and Drucillia when I answered my Sire's summons's. Darla told me to come alone." He looked down at the shacking blond head, moving toward the younger vampire, but careful no to touch him.

"He kept pushing. Dru and Spike both had nightmares about the trip." Angel ran his hand over his face, lost in the memory and the pain it caused. "It was as if they both knew, they were about to lose their Sire. Spike hadn't stopped for weeks, he demanded I brought them along. I decided to teach him a lesson. A Childe, never demands anything from their Sire. I beat him and chained him up." Angel paused, the memory of his favourite dangling from the wall helpless, covered in his own blood, pleading with Angelus to stay not to abandon his Childer, was fresh as if it happened yesterday. The trembling vampire on the couch told Angel he wasn't the only one in the room who remembered. Will might not remember the event, but he clearly remembered the feeling of abandonment.

"I went to check on him," Angel continued, "shortly before I left, to tell him I ordered the minions to release him the day after I left. To tell him the punishment would be the harshest I'd ever meted out if he followed me. I heard him say it as I was closing the door behind me." Angel sighed and looked directly at Xander, "He was right. It would be a hundred years before he saw me again and even without my soul I wasn't his Sire."

Xander felt like shit. He remembered what it was like when he was little, and it was time to leave Jesse and return to his house of horrors. He did not want Spike to feel that way. He could not hurt his Childe, but that was the reason he needed to talk to Angel.

He crouched in front of the rocking vampire. "Will," he placed his hand on the blonde head, "Sweetling, I'm coming back. " Spike stopped humming and looked at his Sire. "I won't be long." Xander continued to pet the soft hair. "The storm's passed over." He glanced at the wall clock. "Look it's almost time for 'East Enders'. Don't you want to find out what happens with Ricky and Biannca?"

Xander had discovered Spike's soap opera addiction survived his head trauma, but he decided that instead of America dramas, the vampire would be better off watching the London based soap. They talked like Spike, he reasoned, and he thought the Mitchells were a great example for the vampire. Grant reminded him of how Spike used to be.

"Oh no, it's horrible! That's the worst possible program the BBC could have sent over here," Giles protested, not wanting to admit his secret delight at the latest of Spike's soap opera addictions. Anything was better than "Passions", and at least "East Enders" sounded like home.

It worked. The watcher's apparent irritation perked up the vampire, who sat up and searched for the remote, and Angel and Xander stepped into the night accompanied by the sounds of the soap's opening credits.

****************************************************************************

One Month Later

Buffy thought Xander and Spike looked cute together, which she had no hesitancy in repeatedly telling her friend. Being a full time caregiver was changing Xander and Buffy saw it as of the good. Xander was starting to act more grown-uppish. Teaching Spike to be a vampire was the perfect job for Xander.

Buffy shook herself. She was a slayer. She should not be encouraging evil vampire lessons. Bad Buffy. However, they were so cute together. She glanced over at the Sire and Childe sitting on the floor playing on of their favourite games, "Kill the food."

Xander decided that even with the chip, Spike needed to learn that humans were a vampire's primary food source. He knew he could not train Spike to attack humans. While the chip was still active each attack would only hurt his Sweetling. He very carefully showed the vampire how to hide and run away from humans while the implant still functioned, but in case the chip came out or was deactivated before Spike's memory returned, Xander wanted him to be prepared.

After reading up on parenting techniques as well as vampires, he determined modelling was the best method of teaching this specific behaviour. Xander broke out his old action figures, borrowed some of Buffy's fashion dolls, and purchased red nail polish and lipstick.

Using the dolls as human substitutes and the cosmetics as blood, he was ready to begin. He even found a Billy Idol action figure to use as a Spike model. He used Batman for Angel. Every night after they returned from patrol while his Childe was feeding, Xander and Spike played the "Kill the food" game.

Riley was appalled, and Buffy tried to stop the game until Xander reminded them it might trigger some of Spike's memories. He went on to point out that while Spike might be around forever, he wouldn't, and memory or no memory, the chip was bound to break down and the vampire need to learn what to do when it did.

In the meantime they played. Buffy laughed as she walked into the front room. Xander and Spike were by the fireplace. Her friend was doing his best imitation of the Englishman's accent and trying to teach his Childe how to "chat up" someone in a bar. He sounded awful, and even Spike was laughing at him.

Xander glared at the vampire and the slayer. "Alright, so accents aren't one of Xander's hidden talents." He resettled Gay Ken and Billy Idol. "Pay attention Sweetling. This is important for you to learn."

Spike looked at the floor trying to hide his snicker, "Yes Sire." He glanced up at the silently laughing Buffy and lost it.

Xander's "Get bent," did not help matters, and soon the slayer and the vampire were curled up on the floor helplessly laughing. At that point, the irritated brunette noticed Riley sneaking up on his distracted girlfriend. Xander decided it was time for a revenge attack of his own.

Both men pounced at the same time, and both blondes were pinned to the floor being mercilessly tickled. The vampire's struggles to escape were a lot less enthusiastic than the slayer's.

After Angel's talk with Xander, the mortal understood vampires had no sexual preferences; everyone was fair game. He knew that the Sire/Childe bond often included sexual relations, and that, for Spike in particular, sex was often a form of reassurance and love. He still could not the erase the images of incest and child rape from his mind. His Sweetling wanted to make love, but Xander would not allow himself to violate his Childe.

Laughing, pinned to the floor with his Sire straddling him, Will did not want to escape. He wanted to be kissed, caressed and taken naked and happy to bed. He did not understand why his Sire never responded to his requests for more kisses and pets, why Precious always left just when he got his hands right were he wanted them, under the stupid layers of clothes and against warm beautiful skin. With his arms pulled above his head and the weight of his Sire on his hips, Will was happy. He opened his eyes and smiled up at the young man.

Xander caught his breath. It was just like his dream. Will was flushed from the tickling, the barest pink on his cheeks. His lips red from his recent feed, hair tousled and eyes sparkling. He was beautiful.

Xander's chest hurt. This beautiful creature wanted him, Xander Harris. Not because they had interlocking parts, or because he needed to "get off" after slaying. No, Will wanted *him*. He was smiling and Xander smiled back at his Childe, lowering his head to kiss the cool lips.

It was so soft and nice. Sunnydale was in the middle of one of its endless summer heat waves, when it cooled down to merely stifling at night. Kissing the vampire and feeling his chest pressed against the cool body was like stepping into air-conditioning after working outside all day. Xander relaxed onto his Childe's chest and wondered why he hadn't done this before.

Suddenly he remembered. Spike was his Childe. He could not do this. It was wrong. He leapt up. "I'm sorry, Sweetling. I'm so sorry." He ran from the room.

Will rolled over and pounded his head into the wooden floor boards. //Why! Why did Precious run away? Why didn't his Sire love him? Why was he so bad?//

The repeated banging brought Buffy and Riley out of their own passionate embrace. "I wish those two would just get over it and have sex already, so we don't have to go through this every night." Buffy huffed as she pushed Riley off of her and started to follow Xander.

"Buffy," Riley stopped her. "It's not every night. It's only the second time since Spike lost his memory six weeks ago." He held out the tank top Buffy had been wearing. "And I think he's right." Riley stopped at Buffy's scowl. "Look," he avoided Buffy's glower by addressing floor. " If Xander says it feels like incest to him," Riley returned his gaze to his girlfriend, "then it is for him, no matter what Angel says."

"You're just saying that because you don't like Angel."

A loud bang prevented the solider from replying. The blonde vampire appeared to be attempting to break up the wood floor with his skull, and he almost had it from what Riley could see. "Buffy, put this on and go after Xander. I'll try to stop Spike's," he gestured at the vampire, struggling to figure what he was doing comforting a hostile because he couldn't engage in homosexual acts. His father would personally court-martial him if he knew what Riley was about to do. "I'll stop Spike."

Riley walked towards the vampire. Spike's repeated pounding had started to break up two boards and splinters were imbedded in his forehead. Riley caught the blonde hair on an upswing. "Hey, that's got to hurt." He pulled until Spike rolled over and faced him. "How about we go to the kitchen?" With that nice linoleum floor, Riley mentally added. "I'll clean you up and get you some more blood."

Great, not only was he easing the path of a homosexual love affair, he was offering a vampire blood. This went way beyond "Don't ask. Don't tell."

Sitting in the kitchen of Angel's abandoned mansion, listening to Spike play with his food, Riley wondered how he ended up in this situation. He smiled as he watched the vampire. Spike had one of the fashion dolls and the Billy Idol doll. "Billy" was chasing "Barbie" around the table with accompanying sound track.

"Help me, Help me, please," a high falsetto voice cried out.

"Don't worry, little lady. It won't hurt if you don't struggle," answered a deep English voice.

"Get away from me you mean evil nasty vampire," the falsetto cried with growing hysteria.

Spike paused to drink from his mug. "But this is what I do. You're helping to continue the species. Your death brings life to vampires everywhere."

Riley started to chuckle when the falsetto relented. "Oh alright, when you put it like that." Barbie Barred her neck to Billy, "Drink your fill, you poor suffering vampire."

The solider struggled to retain his composure when Angel/Batman swooped down to save the willing victim. "Here I come to save the day," he yodelled.

Riley guffawed while Billy and Barbie beat the winged adventure off with cries of "No more Nancy-boy hair gel!" and "Get a real job and have some fun, like a real vampire!"

Riley had to admit, there were some perks to living with Spike. Even if it did mean he was indebted to Angel. The three men were all living rent free in Angel's mansion. All the bills and the food were paid for with the understanding that Spike would be their full time priority. It gave Riley the breathing room he need while the army figured out to do with the few remaining Initiative members.

Xander finally agreed after Angel reassured him that the mansion was unlikely to trigger "Evil-Angelus-in-Sunnydale, Spike-in-wheelchair," memories for the young vampire. Angel told the concerned mortal that Will and he lived in countless abandon mansions and they all pretty much looked the same.

Xander was hesitant until they arrived at the mansion and his Childe immediately found the garden, pulling up the flowers and generally wrecking havoc. The brunette knew then that Will would have no problems with their new home.

Xander wandered into the kitchen, his eyes red and his face puffy. Obviously, he was still upset, but his concern for his sweet vampire prevailed over his desire for self-flagellation. He watched the vampire crawl under the table as Xander entered the room. //He looks so small and helpless. // Staring at Will he asked, "Riley, would you mind if Spike and I talked in private?"

The solider was glad to leave the Sire and Childe; his girlfriend provided much better company. When Riley left the room, Xander crawled under the table. Spike scooted over to the far corner, but the young man did not move. "Will."

The vampire defiantly stuck his chin out. They had made so much progress over the summer. Sometimes, Xander felt like he was with the Old Spike. Then something like this would happen, and he'd be forced to remember a baby demon processed Will's body. It might take another century for Spike to reappear.

Xander wondered how Angelus could ever leave Will. Even with his soul, he must have known his Childe was not ready to be on his own. The only conclusion he could accept was that Will was turned two hundred years ago, but that *Spike's* demon did not grow-up until seventy-five years later.

The young man inched closer to the rocking vampire as he pondered how to take care of Will for the next seventy five years. He gently laid his hand on top of the pale one curled around a table leg. "Will?"

Yellow, tear-streaked eyes turned to meet brown ones. "Why don't you love me, Sire?" The appearance of Will's true features stunned the mortal. The baby demon could not control when it emerged. Only the strongest emotions caused Will's face to shift. The vampire was deeply upset.

Xander tugged until his Childe rested against his chest. Will curled his fists in the T-shirt covering his Sire's warm body as Xander wrapped his arms around the vampire. He kissed the blonde hair before resting his chin on Will's head. "Sweetling, I do love you. You will always be my favourite Childe."

"Then why won't you love me," the vampire pouted. One of the things Xander learned over the last six weeks was that Spike's habit of not resting until he got what he wanted, was not a trait he had picked up as a vampire. Rather, it seemed to have carried over from his human life.

The young man sighed into the bleached out hair, which still reminded him of bunny fur, he rubbed his cheek back and forth over the soft locks. Even Devon had been amazed at the texture of the vampire's hair when he helped to cover the roots; he told Xander that they had stopped dyeing Oz's hair because it was beginning to feel like straw. Xander thought it might have something to do with vampire recovery abilities, but he didn't say anything to Devon.

Xander didn't know what to say. He had tried to explain to Will the reasons that he could not have sex with his Childe, but the demon was too young to understand. All Spike knew was that he wanted more. He saw Buffy and Riley enjoying each other's bodies, and remembered enough about being a vampire to know it was a normal part of the Sire/Childe bond. The vampire also knew that Xander would back away every time he asked for more, he assumed it was his fault.

Spike's memories were returning in small bits and pieces. He remembered being abandoned or cast off by everyone that said they loved him, even the girl with the funny hair who only wanted to go to Paris. He remembered feeling worthless, and his Sire telling him he wasn't the Big Bad, or even the Mostly Annoying.

When Xander ran off rather than kiss him, the memories flooded Spike's mind. He was unlovable. He started rocking and humming; it was the only way he knew how to comfort himself.

Xander tightened his hold around the vampire's small frame, and settled the vampire more comfortably next to his chest, wrapping his legs around Will's cold ones. He wondered why he never noticed Spike was not only a few inches shorter than the young man, but he was also very slight, almost thin, and he realized he never let himself actually see *Spike* before.

Part of it might have been their first meeting, when Xander was introduced as food, but Spike had never hurt him, not even when he had the opportunity. Sure, the vampire called him names and played with his self-doubts, but that was after Xander pushed him towards suicide.

The reason the Spike's comments had hurt so much was that he shared the same humour and sarcasm as the young man. Often the vampire was the only one in the room who laughed at Xander's jokes, and the reverse was also true. Xander remembered at more than one Scooby meeting biting his tongue to keep from laughing and glancing over to see amused azure eyes.

He missed *Spike*. He wondered what Spike would have been like if they didn't start out on opposite sides. Now, he was hurting his sweet vampire, something he promised that he would never do.

The brunette tried to rock and comfort his Childe. His tears falling into the unnaturally light hair as pink tinged tears cooled his warm neck.

The mortal held his child vampire until the sun rose, when carried the sleeping body to their bedroom. He double-checked the curtains to make sure no light would come through at any point in the day.

Xander Harris determined he would no longer be the cause of tears in those beautiful blue eyes. He would give his Sweetling exactly what he wanted. He leaned over and placed warm kisses on the vampire's eyelids, nose, and lips just as he did every morning as they went to sleep.

"I love you Spike and I will love you forever." When they woke up, he intended to show his sweet vampire just how much he loved him.

Little did the mortal know that it was already too late. He was laying down to sleep beside his Will for the last time. As he did every night the vampire sighed, "Sire" and snuggled into the warm embrace, purring.

*****
Part 6:

One of the disadvantages of sharing the mansion with Riley was that Buffy came along as part of the deal. Normally, Xander would have thought waking up with Buffy bouncing in his bed was a dream come true, though in his dreams Buffy was not fully clothed with painfully hard shoes. Usually the dreams featured him naked in bed with clothing free Buffy, not him naked in bed with a cold dead... Xander shifted a little, yep, that was what he thought it was, definitely cold dead naked body wrapped around him. He remembered Willow's mother always saying, "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it," but he hadn't realized that it applied to adolescent wet dreams.

The bouncing Buffy puppy woke the dead, literally. "Oi, Bugger off! The effin' sun hasn't even set yet."

Buffy tilted her head to the side, "Isn't it funny that he wakes up all Spikey and then goes back to Will after he's had his first mug of blood?"

Xander was still trying to figure out how to open his eyes, so thinking was out of the question. "Angel said that Will was never an early riser, and sometimes it took an hour to get him going."

Xander rolled over and pried his eyes open long enough to glance at the bedside clock. "Buffy it's not even noon, why are you awake," he asked, horrified.

"Sunrise sale at the mall. You promised you'd come and get Junior some new clothes." She bounced off the bed while explaining her overly chipper mood. "Come on Xander! The mall's already been open for two hours. We have to get there before everything's gone."

Spike might not be an early riser, but he was more coherent than Xander. "No clothes. Need Sire," he announced, snuggling into the warm body next to him.

"No baby talk," Xander and Buffy automatically instructed the vampire in unison.

"Fuck off. I'm sleeping with MY PRECIOUS." The vampire growled and pulled the young man to the far side of the bed, away from the enthusiastic slayer.

Xander laughed. Buffy was right; the vampire did wake up all *Spike*. "Will, I'm proud of you for dropping the baby talk." He leaned over and rewarded the blonde with a kiss.

"Umm, nummy Precious," Spike sighed, clearly on his way back to sleep.

Xander struggled to sit up. "I promised Buffy. I have to go." He turned to the slayer; "Can you give me a few minutes?" He glanced down at his Childe and saw the pout forming. "After last night, I still need to... you know?"

Buffy had known the human and the vampire would need some alone time, which was why she bounced into the bedroom two hours before she actually wanted to leave. Well, that and they looked so cute together. "Sure. I'll be in the kitchen watching Riley make breakfast."

Buffy paused at the door, turning back to the bed to see Xander petting the blonde head now cradled in his lap. He was murmuring endearments and assurances of love. "Xan," she spoke quietly, "I understand." She remembered the young man's tear stained face of the night before. "He just needs to know that you love him and won't abandon him." She paused wondering what the right thing to say was, "Spike's been hurt before, you know? I think he remembers that much." Buffy gave him a Willow smile and closed the door softly behind her.

Xander looked down at his Childe, not sure if he was asleep, or just laying there with his eyes closed. "I do love you. I will always love you, even when you get your memory back. I'm not Angel or Drucillia; I won't abandon you." He stopped carding the blonde hair and leaned down to kiss it. "I won't stop loving you, even when you become the Big Bad again and don't need me or want me."

Spike rolled over and looked up at the young man. He caught one of the tears creeping down his Sire's face. "I'll always need you, Precious. You're my Sire." He licked the tear off his fingertip. Dark eyes and hair, strong arms holding him; he could not remember another Sire, and he didn't want to.

Xander smiled, wondering how much of this sweet creature existed in Spike. He thought about the rare glimpses he had of Spike and Drucillia together. Spike was capable of a wide range of emotions, including unconditional love, something Xander had never known he was capable of until the Big Bad turned into his Sweetling. He wondered if he was telling the truth though. Would he always love *Spike* or Will?

"I have to go. I promised Buffy. I'll be back as soon as I can." Xander bit his lower lip. He hated leaving Will. "If you can't sleep, Riley will be here. You two can practice fighting."

The solider hadn't wanted to teach the vampire US Army combat skills, but Xander had pleaded and Buffy put her foot down. If Spike was going to accompany her on patrol, he needed to know what he was doing. Buffy won the argument. She seemed to win all the arguments with Riley.

Xander quietly dressed. Before leaving, he leaned over the bed and kissed cool lips one last time. "I love you Sweetling." He ran his fingers threw the vampire's soft hair. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

****************************************************************************

"As soon as he could," turned out to be well after the sun had set. Xander had no idea Buffy was such a power shopper. She was even better at shopping than Cordelia. He'd also had no idea he could carry that many bags and boxes.

"Good you're back. Giles just called," Riley greeted them at the door.

Buffy made a face, really wanting to try that new dress on. "Problems?"

"Big demon problems." Riley was in his follow-orders-with-out-question mind set, and had no time for a Buffy fashion show. "He sounded nervous."

"Giles is never nervous. We'd better go." Buffy cast aside all thoughts of what went with her new shoes and slipped firmly into slayer mode.

Xander carried the bags and boxes to the couch where he unceremoniously dumped all of them. He grabbed Spike's hand. He had his vampire; he was ready to go.

"Big demon problems" turned out to be an understatement. These demons were 10 feet tall, hyper strong, and they just kept coming. Xander wished for the one millionth time since he'd met Buffy that he had super powers.

Then a demon ripped Spike's throat open with a lash of it's tail. Xander stopped thinking and charged. Nobody or nothing was allowed to hurt his Childe.

Ironically, these demons could only be killed by a metal stake through the eye. Spike greeted the new toy with predicable enthusiasm, his instant affection for his namesake reminding the mortals of who Xander's "sweet little vampire" really was. The efficiency and expertise he handled the weapon with were awe-inspiring, but the maniacal laughter that accompanied the display was horrifying.

This was not Will helping the Slayer, because his Sire wanted to be sure he knew how to fight. This was Spike having a bit of fun.

Xander didn't care either way. It was his Childe and it was time for the demon to die. He attacked the demon who was using its tail to try to sever Spike's head off. After forcing his metal stake almost all the way through the demon's skull, Xander fought off five more. The large monsters had scented the vampire's blood and wanted to finish the job, but they never made it past the enraged man.

When the attacks stopped and he could not see anymore demons, Xander fell to his knees beside Spike. The blood wouldn't stop. The gash cut almost completely around the pale neck, but Xander refused to allow Spike to die.

The human frantically tried to remember what he'd read about vampires and healing, having read everything he could get his hands on after Spike's accident, but it was all a jumbled mess in his mind. Suddenly, he remembered the first thing he learned; he could almost hear Angel's voice. Spike needed blood human blood to start healing.

He placed his wrist over the vampire's mouth. "Bite Sweetling." He raised Will's head with his free hand, "You have to bite me."

"No." Riley placed his hand on the disparate man's shoulder. "He can't hurt you Xander, not with the implant still active."

The young man turned to look up at his friend. "He can bite me." He gazed down at his Will. "It would hurt me if he died. It won't hurt to save him."

Xander knew it was no longer a question of whether the vampire could bite or not. Spike was barely conscious and didn't have the strength to break the skin anymore.

Xander desperately glanced around the area for something sharp enough to open a wound on his arm. He looked at the vampire's hands and the metal stake tightly clutched in the one by his knee, and was glad the vampire had insisted the spikes have razor sharp points.

Xander's laugh held an edge of hysteria. He was using a spike to save *Spike*. He hoped it wasn't too late.

The brunette gritted his teeth and drew the metal across his wrist, pressing down as hard as possible. When he had an open flowing wound, he pressed it to the vampire's lips. Will's eyes fluttered open. "Sire?"

A Childe could not consume his Sire's blood with out permission. "Drink," Xander commanded. "Drink it and heal, my sweet vampire."

Will gulped down the warm liquid. It had been so long; he had forgotten how good it tasted. Soon he was conscious enough to grab the wrist and start sucking the blood from the wound. He'd forgotten the feel of a live heart pumping the blood into his mouth. // A beating heart? This can't be my Sire. //

Then Spike remembered. He remembered everything: being William the Bloody, lovely Drucillia dancing, Angelus laughing, the slayer taunting him, the chip and the horror of not being able to feed, being trapped in his own crypt under a pile of rubble, losing everything and reverting to the baby he was after first being turned, and through it all a Sire with warm brown eyes and strong arms caring for him, training him with kindness not pain.

Xander. Xander taking care of him. Xander was kissing him. Xander hurt if he dies. It was Xander's, not Angel's, blood in his mouth. It was Xander's heartbeat growing fainter. Spike roared and threw the boy away from him. "Fuck!" He hoped he wasn't too late.

The human was pale and his lips were tinged a oxygen deprived pinkish blue. Spike went to him and cradled the boy in his lap. "Xander? Precious? Stay with me luv. Don't go."

He was so dizzy; he just wanted to sleep. He looked up into the gold eyes starting down at him. "Spike you're back." In spite of his weakness Xander remembered what spent the summer riding around in his rear pocket. "Here" He handed the vampire a pack of Lucky Strikes and a Zippo. "I hope they're the right ones. The brand name reminded me of you."

"Yes, and you're a bloody fool." He reached for the cigarettes, pocketing them without even glancing at them. "Xander, I nearly drained you." Spike forced himself not to shake the boy. He was enraged, but the action might be the death of the mortal.

Xander's eyes fell shut. "Sorry Spike. I don't want to leave you. You're my favourite Childe."

The vampire acted quickly. He ripped open his own wrist and let the blood trickle into his Sire's mouth.

"No," Riley shouted, thinking Spike was turning Xander. He tackled the vampire trying to get him away from the human.

Spike kept his body between the solider and his Precious. He wanted to save the boy, but he couldn't act whilst Riley was in the way. The chip prevented him from shoving Iowa Boy out of the picture. "Slayer please, help me," Spike growled. He hated asking for help. Asking the Slayer for help was deplorable, but he was frightened. The heartbeat that brought back his memory was slowing and growing fainter. Riley tripped the vampire and he landed on the rapidly paling young man. Spike looked at Buffy and pleaded, "Xander might die."

The young woman heard the desperation in the vampire's voice. She looked at Spike. His memory was back; he looked older and more self-aware. She hesitated, what was he doing? Was he going to turn her friend?

Suddenly, she remembered something Angel told her about vampire's blood. Buffy reacted quickly; she jumped and pinned her boyfriend to the ground. "Spike's blood will keep Xander alive for a short time. It's not enough to turn him." She ripped the cell phone off Riley's belt. "We have to call an ambulance. He'll need a transfusion to live."

She left the solider to alert emergency services and walked over to the vampire. Buffy crouched down next to him, surprised to see tears in the gold eyes. "Spike?" She reached out to touch the vampire, hastily withdrawing her hand when he growled.

"Spike," she tried again in a stern voice. "You have to let him go." She could hear the sirens approaching. "If the paramedics see you, they'll want to examine you." She glanced around at the disarray Riley was attempting cover up. "It's going to be hard enough without trying to explain why you have no pulse."

The vampire stared at the slayer, his face slowly shifting back to it's human form. If Buffy had any doubts about his condition, the visible act of will settled them. Spike controlled his demon's appearance while Will could not. He blinked and gold eyes turned blue. "He loves me."

Buffy sighed. She could see the ambulance rounding the corner. "Yes, he does." She stood up. "Please Spike. Go to the mansion and get cleaned up. I'll call you from the hospital." This time the vampire allowed her to touch him in comfort. "I promise."

****************************************************************************

Xander Harris was the worst patient the hospital ever had. He'd lost over half the blood in his body. He should have died. Instead, he waited until the final transfusion was complete and instantly left the hospital. He thought it would be easier than sticking around and trying not to answer the doctors' questions.

He passed Buffy and Riley in the hallway, surrounded by medical and law enforcement personal. He figured they had enough experience between them, and could come up with a believable explanation for his blood loss. He had a vampire to see.

Xander was right. Buffy could explain everything, except her friend's sudden disappearance. Therefore she accused the hospital of loosing him. Mentally she cursed herself for letting Xander spend so much time with Spike, since he was obviously teaching the mortal bad habits.

****************************************************************************

Spike was pacing and smoking, while forcing himself to stay near the telephone. He wanted to start ripping down the walls, but he was afraid that he might disconnect the phone. He stopped when he heard the mansion door open. He heard the heartbeat that comforted him and lulled him to sleep all summer long, a heartbeat he was not sure he would ever hear again.

For the second time in a month Xander was greeted by a "charging peroxide cyclone." This time instead of landing on the floor, he was whisked over to the couch. He laughed when Spike dumped the bags and boxes on the floor, before gently laying Xander on the couch.

"Precious." Spike stroked the boy's face. "Why?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

The vampire gingerly perched on the edge of the couch and took the mortal's hand. He needed to ask, to find out it he heard right or if he was dreaming. Xander laughed before Spike had a chance to open his mouth.

"Spike, I'm not a doll. I'm not going to break." He tugged the reluctant vampire into his lap. "I just lost a little blood."

"A little blood." The vampire sat up indigent. He wasn't the baby demon anymore. "I'm the Big Bad. I'm back and I'm a full grown vampire." He pointed at human's chest. "I nearly drained you, Peaches."

"Spike you drank my blood; you got better. The nice people at the hospital gave me more blood. No big deal." The vampire was back to his old behaviour. His mind seemed intact. Well, intact for Spike, Xander amended his thought. He tried not to beam like a proud parent. This was Spike, not his Childe, though he still wanted to kiss and hug the vampire.

The blonde faced the young man and observed the frown line starting to settle on the human's forehead, just like Angel's. What was it about his Sires? Why did they start brooding? He couldn't stop Angel, but he was not about to let Xander start. The human wasn't even dead yet. He kissed the line away and settled back on Xander's chest, right over that delicious heartbeat. "I thought you were going to leave me, Sire."

Xander wrapped his arms around the vampire. Maybe his sweet vampire was still there, underneath or a part of what made Spike *Spike*. "I promised I'd never leave you."

Spike traced patterns on Xander's chest, enjoying the warm embrace for a few minutes before speaking. "How do you feel?"

"A little tired and incredibly horny."

The vampire sat up startled, blinking at the human in amazement.

"What? I'm a man at my sexual peek, and I've been continuously thinking about making love to you for the past," Xander paused to check his watch, "twenty hours." He looked at the still dumbfounded vampire and gloated. He, Xander Harris, had shocked William the Bloody. Score one for the home team!

"Why not? You're here. I'm here. We're alone in this big mansion with nice comfy beds." He pointed to his chest. "I want you." He pointed to Spike's chest. "You want me."

The vampire remained silent and immobile and Xander's confidence began to falter. "Do you still want me? Or was that, just a Sire/Childe thing?"

It wasn't a dream. He was loved. Spike growled and scooped up the human, carrying the laughing man back to their bed while Xander covered the vampire's face with kisses.

~~ END ~~