*****

{{{my teas gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all}}}

**ring**

"Yes? Yes, what is it?"

"Rupert, love, I wonder if I could have a word with you?"

{{{the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all and even if I could it all be grey but your picture on my wall it reminds me it's not so bad, it's not so bad}}}

"*Ethan?*"

{{{I drank too much last night, got bills to pay my head just feels in pain I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again and even if I'm there they'll all imply that I might not last the day. And then you call me and it's not so bad}}}

"Ethan? I have to go. I have to-"

"I know. I just wanted to wake you, Rupert. Hear you this morning. Are you awake?"

Giles fumbles for his glasses and places them on. "Yes." He clears his throat. "Yes. I'm awake."

Ethan chuckles, his voice like velvet over the phone line. "Good. That's good, Rupert. I also called to remind you of last night. I don't want you to forget last night."

And Giles is fully awake. And angry. "Oh, for the love of-Ethan! Have you stooped so low that you're invading my *dreams*?"

The velvet laugh comes over the phone. "I take what I can get, Rupert. I miss you. Can you blame me?"

"Yes. Yes, I can blame you. Fool that you are, I can blame you."

"But you'll think of me whilst you ready your self for the day, won't you, Rupert-love. You'll think of me and maybe you'll miss me, yes?" The velvet voice is gone and the empty-buzz of a phone connection gone dead is in Giles' ear instead. And he misses the velvet.

But he remembers last night and the dreams.

*************

Shh.

"I don't want to shh. I want to shout."

Ripper is grinning.

"You can't shout. It's a secret."

"It's always secret. I want to shout. We're not boys any longer. We should shout."

A kiss on his ear. A sigh whispered across his ear. "Boys have secrets." A throaty chuckle, deep and dark, in his ear. *Men* have secrets. *We* have secrets." Another kiss. "You have so many secrets, Ripper. Rupert. *Giles*." A rough tongue along his earlobe, tasting, tantalizing. "I don't want to hurt you or what you have. I just want you. I want a small part of you."

Rupert Giles frowns.

"You always take too much. You never just want a small bit, Ethan." Giles is rational and thinking, now. Some where in the murky world of dreams and just sleep and just. . .reality.. . Knowing. "I'd give you all the small bits of me, Ethan, but you want *chunks* of me. Chunks of me I don't have to give anymore. They belong . . .elsewhere."

"I'll *take* the small bits, Ripper." Said quickly and huskily into his ear. "*Give* them to me. Sweet, small, bits of my Ripper." Kisses at his ear. "Delicious." Kisses and rough wet swipes of a tongue. "Dreams." More dark laughter. "Thoughts." A nip at his earlobe. "Remembrances of us. Remembrances of the times we've had." A *bite* this time. "Times we've shared."

"Most times, *bad*, my dear Ethan."

That chuckle in his ear again. A hand moving over his chest. Moving lower. "Bad? Yes. Most times." The chuckle again. "They were *good* bad times, though, weren't they?" The hand wraps around his suddenly hard cock and the mouth, once at his ear, is now over his and that tongue, that evil, devilish, *wonderful* tongue is now *in* his mouth, sliding along his own tongue and he's kissing back. Hard. Raising his head and thrusting his hand into the too long hair and clutching it and holding that head still while he fights for control of the kiss. Takes control of the kiss.

Ripper grabs hold and rolls.

He's over Ethan now, looking down into that no longer pretty face. Not the Ethan of before, but the Ethan of now.

And it feels *wrong*.

"No!" Ethan moves his mouth up and smashes his lips against Rupert Giles' *hard* and *fierce* and *needing*. His tongue thrusts into Ripper's. Hot, wet, and oh, god, yes, *willing*. "Ripper, Ripper, Ripper." He chants against that mouth, into that mouth. And like magic it opens. And he's in and the kiss is back. And who cares if it *is* magic? Good or bad? White or black? Real or dream? It's *magic* and it's *good* and Ripper's hands are moving over Ethan and Ethan's hands are moving over Ripper. And Ripper's legs move between Ethan's and Ripper's body settles over Ethan's as the kiss goes on and gets deeper and hotter and saliva wet fingers push into Ethan, and it's a dream, right? And it's magic, right? So yes, fine. Push deeper. And Ethan's legs wrap tight around Ripper's waist and the fingers are gone but replaced by *Ripper* and that's *better*. And Ethan moans and whimpers and moves his legs to Ripper's shoulders, but it's still a dream, right? And, so, it's okay. So yes. More.

"More. Harder." The Ethan of now demands.

"Yes. Harder." The Ripper of before answers and thrusts himself in deep. And *fucks*. Hard and fast and full of love and hate and anger and sweetness and all the things that used to be. And Ripper brings his hand down and grabs hold of Ethan's cock and rubs and pulls and *plays* it just like before. Like before. Ripper's mouth is over Ethan's, and his tongue is thrusting inside, keeping time with the thrusts of his cock and the rhythm of his hand over Ethan's cock. And Ethan's hands sink into and wind into Ripper's too short hair and pulls him closer as he comes, shooting across Ripper's hand and his own chest. Ethan's legs wrap tighter around Ripper as he slams into him once more and settles, moving with slow, shallow, thrusts, cumming.

Glorious and delicious, heaven and hell, good and bad, black and white, magic and reality.

So many things.

Like before.

And that no longer pretty face smiles up at him. At Rupert Giles. "You'll have to remember, Rupert. I won't let you forget. I *wont*."

{{{I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life. Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life}}}

~end~