*****

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Just a calm evening in, hanging out with friends. Chatting, watching movies, eating junk food. Without Anya, since the whole point was to bring back the friendship they had enjoyed before Spike had returned that fateful day the previous year, before college had become a nasty reality.

And then the drinking game was proposed.

"Oh, you do too know how to play." Willow sighed and cleared away the bags of chips from the center of the circle and replaced them with shot glasses and a bottle of vodka (reappropriated from some parent's liquor cabinet) as she recited the rules. "You name something you have never done, and anyone who *has* done it has to take a drink. Like, I never dusted a vampire. Except we all have, so we can't use that because there isn't anyone who hasn't. Got it?"

So they began. "I never went to hell." Buffy downed a shot. "I never accidentally shot someone with a tranquilizer dart." Everyone except Oz drank. "I never skipped class for rehearsal." Oz.

Then the topic shifted to sex. Really, it was clearly merely an effort to get Willow (and, by extension, Oz) to ingest more alcohol. After all, who else would be able to say they had done certain things? They were all aware that Willow's overnight stays at Oz's were not merely because she had fallen asleep while studying.

"I never had sex with Oz in his van between classes."

As was expected, Willow turned bright red and complied with the ritual. Then a funny thing happened. All color drained from Xander's face, and he abruptly stood and walked out.

Buffy's face fell. "I didn't mean --"

"I'll go talk to him. I should have told him about that ages ago. We're all growing up." Willow unsteadily attempted to stand, but Oz gently pressed her back into a sitting position.

"No, Will, I'll go. After all, I'm more sober than you are. Wouldn't want you to start crying and throw up on him, right?" And with that, Oz retraced Xander's path out the door. "Hey, Xan?" Soft sniffles revealed Xander's hiding place. "Are you okay? She didn't mean anything. I mean... I don't know what I mean." He sat down next to Xander. "I'm sorry."

Xander sighed. Oz draped an arm across the brunette's shoulders, and Xander rested his head against the smaller man's chest. "I know. I just wish..." He sighed again. "You know?"

"Yeah." They sat in silence for a few long minutes, Xander still with his head on Oz's chest, Oz twisting his fingers through Xander's hair. "We could tell them."

"Right." Xander pulled away from Oz, folding his hands in his lap and staring at them as if they held the secrets of the universe. "'Hey, Will. Not only is your boyfriend sleeping with someone else, but the "someone else" is your oldest friend -- the one you cheated on your boyfriend with.' Somehow I think that would cause a bit of conflict. Not only are you having an affair, but it's with another guy. I don't want to even *think* about the therapy bills that would cause."

Now it was Oz's turn to sigh. "True. But I'm tired of this. The sneaking around stuff."

Xander slumped, dejected. "So, what now? We stop sneaking around, obviously. But are we going to be friends?"

"I think Will is stronger than you think." Xander did not respond. "Hey." Oz nudged the larger teen's shoulder. "Hey. She does deserve to know that I'm not what she thinks."

"And she thinks..."

"That I'm straight."

Xander shrugged. "So you announce that you're gay."

"Not exactly. But not exactly straight." Oz grinned sheepishly. "I'm not saying that I'm going to decide one way or the other right now."

"Decide. Right."

"Hey. I'm just being greedy." He trailed his fingers down the side of Xander's face. "Really, I don't know what's going on. But I do know that I like what we have here."

"The secret thing. The whole illicit affair thing."

"No. That was what you and she had."

Now Xander flushed and jerked his face away from Oz. "Thanks for reminding me about that."

Oz flinched at the angry sarcasm. "Hey. That's not what I meant. I meant that the secret part of it was what drew you guys in. Sure, there was that whole suddenly-discovering-that-your-best- friend-is-a-babe thing, but I know that the real attraction was the excitement of having this secret that only one or two people knew. Remember, I have one of those, too."

"Yeah. Me, right?"

Xander's eyes widened when Oz laughed at that, the redhead's mouth stretching into a grin. "Sort of. We did something that I've never done with anyone else." Before Xander could open his mouth to comment, Oz quickly continued. "And it's something that can be shown on network television. I think I've seen it done on MTV. In an Aerosmith video."

Finally, realization dawned, and Xander grinned. "The moons."

"Exactly. Do you think I ask just anyone to go with me when I get a tattoo?" Oz reached for Xander once more, and this time, the brunette cooperated. "But what we have going here. It's just... It feels right." They sat in silence for several long minutes until Oz spoke again. "I have to tell her."

"Yeah." Xander closed his eyes, thinking about how they could possibly come out of this thing with their friendship intact. Or even just alive. Hell hath no fury and all that. "So. What do we do? March in there and announce, 'Hey, guess what? We can *all* go cruising for guys together now?'"

"That's an idea." Oz's hand dropped from Xander's shoulder to his waist. "I don't mean that *you* have to say anything. I just mean that she should know that she's not the only one who goes for guys." Now he shifted, cupping Xander's face so they were eye-to-eye. "Look. My turn is next. I know this is too much for you right now, but I can't not tell her. So unless you have an objection, I would like to say that I've never told Willow that I'm not strictly heterosexual."

"Are you sure this is really the right time? I mean, they're happy. *She* is happy."

"And when she freaks, Buffy will be there to help her. Which is worse: dropping this on her when she is in there with her best girl friend or when she's alone with no one around to support her? It's not like we're in the middle of the Bronze gossiping about Giles. And the way things are going I have two options. Telling her or waiting for her to find out on her own."

"Wrong." Xander shook his head. "You have one more choice. Just go to her and forget about this... whatever it is we've been doing."

"Not going to happen." Oz pulled away from Xander. "Unless *you* want to."

Xander shrugged, attempting an indifferent tone. "If that's what you want."

"Good. Then that's settled." The smaller man stood, brushing dirt from his clothing before reaching out a hand to help Xander up. "I'm not willing to walk away *or* forget." A dazed Xander followed Oz back into the house, and the pair sat down on the floor once more. "Okay, my turn, right?" Buffy nodded, but Xander cleared his throat before Oz could continue with that train of thought. "Oh. Are we done with the last one?"

Confused, Willow's glance hopped around the circle. "What? I already drank."

But Xander and Oz weren't paying attention to her. The brunette turned to Buffy. "What was it again?"

"I never had sex with Oz in his van between classes."

Xander sighed. Then his eyes caught Oz's. The redhead nodded, and Xander drained his shotglass.

~ the end ~