Buffy didn't say anything for long minutes after Dawn finished. She wanted to kick the shit out of herself for being so blind to what her sister had and still was feeling. She shook her head slightly, beating herself up over the past wasn't going to help anything, the goal was to take steps to change what was happening now and to make sure that it didn't happen again. And the first step she needed to take was to be honest with her sister. To stop treating her like a two-year-old and start treating her like the young adult, sister and friend that she actually was. She focused her eyes on Dawn again and gave her a small smile.

"I didn't know Dawn. I am ashamed to say that I didn't know that you were feeling this way. I was too caught up in what I was feeling to notice what you were going through. I wish I could change it, but I know I can't. I can only hope that you can forgive me. This isn't all your fault, and it isn't all mine. We both made mistakes and I can only hope that we will learn from it and not make the same mistakes again. I wasn't trying to push you away, not really. I was trying to protect you and if I am honest I was trying to protect myself as well..."

Buffy stopped for a few seconds. Dawn smiled at her, nodded her head encouraging Buffy to continue. Buffy couldn't help but to wonder when her sister had grown up. She started to talk again, slowly at first and just like Dawn, the words started to pour out and she couldn't have stopped them even if she wanted to. She started even further back than Dawn did, trying as best as she could to explain, but not excuse what she did. Letting Dawn know that what she had done was out of love and determination to make sure that Dawn had the growing up experiences that she never could have after she had been called and became the Slayer.

She wanted for Dawn that which she never had after she had been called, and she didn't want the fact that she, that she and Faith were Slayers to interfere with that. She wanted her sister to have a normal life, something until now Buffy had always thought she couldn't even come close to for herself. As she spoke, she weaved in not only her own feelings but Faith's too. She explained to her sister the bond they shared, the ability they had to feel the other's thoughts and emotions. So not only did she explain what she had wanted for Dawn, but what Faith both felt for, and wanted for Dawn as well.

Two things became very clear to Dawn while Buffy talked. Buffy had not sacrificed herself out of some twisted sense of honor, or noble duty as the Slayer. She had sacrificed herself because it was inconceivable to her to sacrifice her sister, for any reason, especially not when she could do something about it. Both she and Faith, all of them had done everything possible to make sure that no one had to die that night on the tower. When push came to shove and there wasn't any choice, Buffy did the only thing she could do, the only thing her heart would let her do and Dawn knew that Faith would have made the very same sacrifice, she gave her life for her sister's. It was who Buffy was, who both she and Faith were, they could no more change that then they could change their fingerprints.

The Monks may have created her. She might not be really real, or born in the sense that Buffy and everyone else in Dawn's life had been. Except for that one time when Buffy had thought that someone or something had cast a spell on their Mom to make her ill, not once, not ever had Buffy ever thought of her as other than real, as other than her sister and even more than a sister. To Buffy, and Dawn knew in her heart, this held true for Faith as well, Dawn had always been real, always been her sister and this time when the tears fell, they were tears of joy. For the first time in her life, Dawn felt truly, wholly real.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy finally stopped talking when she came to what happened to both she and Faith after they went through the portal. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Dawn about what happened. Well, in part it was. With all she was, she wanted to protect her sister from ever having to know what had happened to her and Faith in Glory's Hell. Neither Slayer had ever actually told anyone all or even a little of what had happened to them there. They had talked to each other about it, and while the others could put some of it together on their own, they never had gone into any detail beyond what was necessary when they did have to talk about it.

She wasn't sure if she was strong enough to tell this alone, without Faith's support. Nor did she feel comfortable with the idea of telling what had happened to Faith there without Faith's consent. She knew she had to tell Dawn some of it. She couldn't just brush it off, the aftereffects, and what had happened to both she and Faith there had affected Dawn as well. She needed to talk to Faith first before she went into this with Dawn and her instinct was telling her that this was something she should do with Faith present. She had to say something though; she didn't want Dawn to think that she was holding back, or distancing herself again. But those weren't the only reasons, no matter how hard she tried Buffy couldn't stop the words Dawn had yelled at her this afternoon from running riot through her mind.

"Dawn? Are you okay?" Buffy asked her, her voice full of concern.

"Yes and no. Thank you for telling me all this. This is the first time in a really long time that I feel like you are really here. You know what I mean?" Dawn spoke almost shyly, hesitantly.

She had expected her sister to rail at her, rant, yell. But Buffy had done none of those things. Instead, she had opened up to Dawn and told her everything, treating her as an adult and had shared her own insecurities and fears with her as well as Faith's. For the first time Dawn had a true appreciation of what it was like to be a Slayer, the pressure, the guilt, the weight of the responsibilities that lay on both her sister and Faith's shoulders. Their Mom dying had added new responsibilities, insecurities and pressures to Buffy's already overburdened shoulders. And Faith, when Buffy had finally come to her senses and realized what it was that she felt for the Dark Slayer, had done everything within her power to help Buffy shoulder that extra weight.

Dawn knew that Faith was the one responsible for bringing Buffy back into the game so to speak, she was the one that had made Buffy realize what she was doing by distancing herself from not only Dawn, but their family of friends and the world in general. Over the months, Faith had become the glue that held the three of them together as a family. Never having a real one herself, Faith had in essence taught not only Buffy, but Dawn as well, what a family should be, could be. And, before that night on the tower, they all had been making great strides towards becoming just that.

She took a deep breath when she saw Buffy was getting ready to start talking again. There was only one thing left to talk about now. Glory's Hell and the aftereffects of what had happened there, the source of almost all of Dawn's guilt, anger and fears.

"Dawn... I guess there is only one thing left to talk about now." Buffy paused and looked at her sister. She could see the emotions flashing across her face and knew Dawn understood what she meant. She smiled again at her in reassurance. Not sure if the reassuring smile was more for herself or more for Dawn, most likely it was for both of them. She was fighting against the need to shelter Dawn from this, but she knew she couldn't any longer, but she had no real intention of telling her anything until Faith was beside her and Dawn would just have to understand that for now.

"Dawn..." she began again, "I'm not going to tell you what happened to Faith and I after we went through the portal. At least not right now. It's not a pretty story and there were things that happened there that only happened to Faith and I... Well, I think it should be her decision to tell you about that if she wants. And I would like her, no... actually, I need her here with me when we start to talk about this. I think the three of us all need to be together at least at first."

"...We, Faith and I are still learning to deal with all that happened. Still healing from it and probably will be for a long time. And until today when Faith pointed it out to me, I don't think I realized that this had affected you too, differently than us, but no less than us. We, neither of us meant to push you aside, we only sought to shield you, protect you from what happened. Or, rather I did, because Faith, at least up until a few weeks ago, here within this domain, wasn't capable of talking about any of it. Not even with me."

"...I want, need you to understand, neither of us blame you in any way for what happened to us there. Remember that and believe it. It took both of us a while to stop blaming ourselves for what happened there, and I'll be honest, every once in a while it sneaks back up on both of us, the guilt that is, and I imagine that it will for a long time to come. But I know, and Faith knows that neither one of us is to blame for what happened there, nor did either of us ever, not while we were there and not now, ever, once blame you for what happened. You need to stop blaming yourself in order to start healing, in order for all of us to heal from what happened. If you want to blame someone than blame the ones that were responsible for what happened there. Blame Glory and Johnny. The blame falls totally and squarely on their depraved shoulders and no one else's."

Buffy paused for a second trying to compose herself. All the emotions those two names caused in her rose up inside of her threatening to overwhelm her. Two more profoundly, more powerfully than the others battled with each other, absolute blinding white-hot rage and mind-numbing fear. They were holding her within their grasping hands, then she felt an almost shadow-like touch of a hand running soothingly down from the top of her head to run phantom-like down the side of her face to rest gently on her cheek. The ghost of a thumb brushing along her cheekbone, comforting and calming her and she leaned into that elusive imaginary touch; and knew that it was Faith projecting the image, the emotions to her through their bond. Knew that Faith had felt what was happening solely through their Soul-Thread that bound them together for all eternity. The connection that even death couldn't sever.

She silently thanked Faith and felt an answer that was just simply love from her mate. Then the ghost touch was gone and silence reined again, as it had since she and Dawn had returned to cottage. Faith had blocked Buffy from her own internal turmoil over what had happened. And Buffy had respected that block and had not tried to force her way through it or plead through their bond from her side for Faith to drop the blocks. She knew Faith was doing it so that Buffy wouldn't be distracted from working through this with Dawn and because both she and Faith were trying to work through their own conflicting emotions over what had happened today.

Once more feeling under control Buffy locked her gaze with her sister. There was a few things she did want to say before the three of them sat down together to talk and she knew that Faith would stop her from saying them so she was going to say them now.

Dawn watched as Buffy's eyes grew hard and she felt a little bit of fear creep through her. She knew who she was looking at now, it wasn't her sister, it wasn't the Slayer and it wasn't Buffy. It was Faith's soul-mate and she braced herself for whatever was to come, because she knew she deserved it.

"Dawn..." Buffy kept her eye's locked with Dawn's, she wanted to make sure she had Dawn's complete attention before she continued. "I almost seriously hurt you today. I... Faith and I... both of us, we've become... While we were in that Hell, became almost feral about protecting each other. If it wasn't for Faith today I would have hurt you physically, Dawn. I wasn't seeing you, my sister that I love. All I was seeing was that Faith was being hurt, it didn't matter that it wasn't physical hurt. All I knew was that Faith was being hurt and that you were the one hurting her. And I wanted to make you hurt in return. I'd like to think I could have stopped myself before that happened but I'm not sure I could have and I know I would have never been able to forgive or live with myself if I had hurt you today. I know, had you done something like this a few weeks ago, I probably would have ripped you limb from limb and not even Faith could have stopped me. I'm not saying this to frighten you, I think I'm telling you more to frighten myself." Buffy paused to let what she was saying sink in. After a minute, Dawn nodded to her to continue, she knew Buffy wasn't finished.

"I know you didn't mean what you said today. But what you said hurt Faith, hurt her a lot. Your words hurt me too and they reminded me of my own failure. My failure at being unable to protect Faith when we were being held captive, they reminded me that no one has ever protected her ever, not even when she was li..." Buffy trailed off, it wasn't for her to tell Dawn about that part of Faith's life, that was for Faith to decide. She continued in an even softer voice almost as if she were talking to herself and not Dawn.

"...I was unable to protect her at all when we were there, while she practically... No, not practically, she did. She sacrificed herself to protect me. It's a debt I can never repay. Ever. Faith figured out the second day that we were there what it was that Glory fed on, thrived on. She fed on our fears, she could read what your greatest fear was just by touching you and then she made them a reality. And Faith, she knew that and after that first day Faith's greatest fear changed, and her greatest fear became that Glory, that he would do to me what had until our second day there been Faith's greatest fear for herself..."

"...And somehow... I... I don't know how, she managed to keep that from Glory. And through sheer strength of will, managed to manipulate both Glory and him to divert almost all of their attention onto her. Dawn, if it wasn't for Faith, what happened to me there would have been a thousand times worse. And I don't know if I could have survived it. I owe her my life Dawn. I don't know what she is going to tell you and what she isn't but don't push her. No matter what she does or doesn't tell you I want you to know this. She did everything, in every sense of the word, including literally within her power to protect me and beyond. I would have given my life to protect her Dawnie and she would have given hers for me as well. Dying would have been easy compared to what she did give in order to protect me. We both have scars from this, the type of scars that you can't see, the kind of scars that you carry with you the rest of your life. But the scars I carry aren't nearly as deep as they would have been if it wasn't for Faith. I... I..."

There was nothing left that she could say, some of this she had never even said to Faith and the bitter taste of her failure to protect Faith rose up strong in the back of her throat. This was something she knew would haunt her for the rest of her days. Tears slipped unknowingly from her eyes as she thought of the sacrifices that Faith had made for her and she let herself cry for Faith and for herself. Feeling with each tear that fell the weight of this ghost that haunted her begin to lighten its hold on her soul. She felt Dawn's arms come around her, holding her tightly and she sobbed into her younger sister's shirt, and then she felt the touch of her soul-mate within her again.

And she found that with the touch of the two people that meant the most to her in the world, one whose arms were holding her now, and the other who could touch her very soul through the thread that bound their souls, Buffy felt the familiar, welcomed, warmth that was simply home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had been sitting across from each other at the kitchen table for about half an hour in comfortable silence when they heard the front door open and softly close. They both knew it was Faith, together they rose from the table. Buffy looked up at the clock over the sink and was surprised to see that they had talked into the wee hours of the morning. She looked back at Dawn and motioned for her to sit back down.

The sisters locked eyes; they both knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Dawn knew without being told how much she had hurt Faith, knew that Faith was not only hurt, but angry as well. Neither sister knew how Faith was going to react when she came face to face with the youngest of them again. Dawn sat back down and nodded at Buffy even though she wanted to just run out there and beg Faith to forgive her. Buffy gave Dawn a small smile, rolled her shoulders then walked out of the kitchen through the swinging door.

She walked up quietly to Faith who was standing by the dresser, peering into the open drawer. She circled her arms around Faith's waist from behind and went up onto her tippy-toes to plant a light kiss on the side of Faith's neck.

"Hey..." She whispered softly into Faith's ear. She felt Faith's hands lay gently over the tops of her own.

"Hey..." Faith's voice was low and scratchy from the suppressed hurt she was holding in and all the battle yells she had shouted while she was sparring with the Immortals.

"Are you okay, baby?" Buffy moved to the side, her arms still around Faith's waist so she could see her face.

"Yeah." Faith answered Buffy without looking at her. She kept on rummaging around in the drawer. She pulled out a couple of pairs of sweats and a few t-shirts.

One word answers Buffy knew, wasn't good and by the look on Faith's face she knew that she was far from okay. She dropped her hands from around Faith's waist and leaned against the dresser silently watching as Faith pulled clothes from the drawers and piled them on top of it.

"Looking for something in particular?"

Faith stopped scrounging through the drawers and turned to face Buffy. Her face was impassive; her eyes were shuttered and showed nothing of her inner turmoil. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but nothing came out, she shrugged her shoulders then looked back down into the drawer.

"I ah... I'm gonna..." She started mumbling into the drawer, then found some inner strength and turned her face back up to Buffy's. "I'm gonna go stay with Mars."

"Why?" Buffy asked quietly and calmly not betraying the fear and panic that streaked through her at Faith's words.

"I think its best." Faith's eyes dropped to the floor when she answered Buffy.

"Why?" Buffy asked quietly again, her heart was racing a million miles an hour and she felt her skin turning cold and clammy.

"Because, I do." Faith looked quickly at Buffy and then started pulling clothes out of the drawers again.

"What the hell kind of answer is that, Faith?" Buffy's voice rose a little and anger, mixed with panic, seeped into her tone.

Faith stilled her hands and looked at Buffy again and just shrugged her shoulders, then dropped her head, eyes back to the floor again, which only made Buffy's panic and fear escalate, she could feel tears gathering in her eyes. She felt like she was looking at a stranger wearing her mate's face and that scared her even more.

"Faith... are you... Are you leaving me?" Buffy choked out the words, they were laced with fear, she was twisting her hands, her body trembling at just the thought of Faith leaving her, of not being here with her. Here where she belonged, with her.

Faith's head shot up, she stared at Buffy wide-eyed, her mouth dropped open in shock. Where the hell did Buffy get that idea? She grasped both of Buffy's frantically twisting hands with hers, unconsciously dropping the blocks she put up to stop her own turmoil over what had happened today from seeping into Buffy through their bond.

"B... I woul..." Faith never got to finish as Dawn came tearing out of the kitchen.

Dawn had been unable to just sit at the kitchen table and wait. She had gotten up, walked over to the door, and slightly opened it so she could hear what her sister and Faith were saying. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping on them but she did it anyway. She was terrified that Faith would tell Buffy that she hated her, not once though did she ever think that Faith would leave Buffy because of today. They couldn't survive without each other, even she knew that. When she heard Buffy ask Faith if she was leaving her, she thought her heart was going to explode in her chest. She waited, holding her breath for Faith to answer, when she didn't immediately say no, she burst through the door in full blown panic mode.

"I'msorryI'msorrypleasedon'tleave!PleaseFaith!"

Neither Slayer had a chance to react as Dawn rushed through the door. Tears were streaming down her face, her words frantic, begging and slurred together. She practically threw herself at them both, wrapping her arms tightly around both of their waists.

"Please!Ididn'tmeananyofit!I'msorry!I'msorry!Pleasedon'tleaveFaith!!!" Somehow, Dawn would never know how, she managed to compose herself. She released her sister, and Faith who was her sister too, if not by blood, by reasons of the heart. She calmed herself, and stepped back away from them. She looked up at Buffy first, then at Faith, she couldn't read either of their expressions and neither of them made a move to say anything to her.

"Please don't leave. Buffy needs you, she couldn't handle it if you left. You�re her whole world. Please don't do this to her because of me, because I'm... 'Cause I took everything out on you. I know none of it was your fault. I didn't mean any of it. I don't even understand why I said those hurtful things. It was like... like I couldn't stop them, like it wasn't even me. And I... I know that's no excuse and I know you can't forgive me. But don't leave Buffy because of what I did. It would destroy her. I'm sorry. I really am, I would do anything to take it all back. Anything... I'll leave. I'll go wherever you want me to. I'll do whatever you want... I just hope someday that you won't... won't h..a..te me..." Dawn stumbled over the last few words and waited for what seemed like eternity for one of them to say something, anything, yell, scream. Waited, even if it was only for Faith to tell her she hated her. Anything was better than the silence was hollow and empty, just like her life would be without Buffy and Faith in it. They were her world, she just wished she had realized it sooner.

Buffy had untangled her hands from Faith's when Dawn let them go. She stepped back a little and listened as her sister rushed out her plea for Faith not to leave. Once Faith had dropped all her blocks Buffy had known in an instant that Faith wasn't leaving her, leaving them, not for good, she just needed a little time to distance herself and to calm the war raging in her head. She was leaving because she was afraid. Afraid that she wouldn't be able to control her dark side, which had regained a foothold inside of her once again, thanks to their forced stay in Slayer Hell. So, Buffy made the conscious choice to step aside, this was something that Faith needed to decide on her own.

While Faith might not trust herself to control her dark side from lashing out at Dawn, or anyone for that matter in blind rage, either physically or verbally, possibly both, Buffy had absolute, well, faith, that the Dark Slayer did indeed have total control of her dark side. Buffy would bet her life on it. She trusted Faith implicitly. The funny thing was, while she believed Faith could control the rage that had created her dark side, Buffy was uncertain that she could contain her own rage that had created a dark side within herself.

It wasn't Faith that she didn't trust, it was herself. Her first reaction to what had happened today was just another indication that what Buffy had suspected about herself since their return was true. The rage, the fury, even the fear and the pain from what had happened to not just her, but Faith as well while they were held captive had given life to her own dark side. She had a very real understanding now of what had driven Faith all those years. And after feeling and seeing the images that came from Faith of what her life had been like, she could understand how Faith could have succumb to the Mayor and her dark side. Buffy felt that same pull herself now, to just give in to her baser urges and fuck the consequences and anyone who might get hurt in the process. The need to lash out and hurt someone, anyone, to release the rage, to protect not just herself, but Faith as well, almost overwhelmed her at times. She suspected that Mars was aware of it, as well as Faith, Lilith and Clotho, and that was why when the training got to a certain intensity level, she and Faith did not train with the Immortals together in the same room. She knew she needed to learn how to control it now before it controlled her, before she crossed that line. And now as this became clear to her, as she felt Faith struggling mentally, she understood that they, Faith and the Immortals had been waiting for her to take the first step and ask for their help in learning how to control her dark sides rage. With that knowledge, a certain calm came over her and it only helped to reinforce her trust in Faith.

So, she watched her sister and her mate, understanding in seconds as her own thoughts flashed through her mind, that this was a war that Faith needed to win herself. The decision to stay or go was one that Faith needed to make on her own without any outside influence or coercion from her, for better or worse. She hoped, prayed, that Faith would make the right decision, which was to stay. She hoped that Faith would trust in herself, because she was afraid that if Faith did walk away, even for just a few days, she would never learn to trust in herself, in her ability to control the dark side of her personality again. And if that happened, Buffy's instinct told her, the doubting of her own self and her control of her dark side would stay with Faith for the rest of her life.

Faith hadn't moved a millimeter since Dawn had crashed through the kitchen door. She was frozen like she was earlier today. Afraid if she moved she would lose control of her dark side. It was why she wanted to stay at Mars', not here at the cottage with Dawn. If something like this had happened before they had been held captive in hell, she wouldn't have felt the need to get away. Before Glory and Johnny she had been confident that she controlled those dark impulses. Now though, there was all this new rage inside of her and she was terrified that she couldn't control the impulse to lash out, either with her fists or words. What Dawn had said to her and to Buffy today had hurt her in a way that she had thought, until now, only Buffy, of any of the people she loved, had the power to hurt her. On one level, she understood where it had come from, understood why Dawn had done what she did, it had been like looking at a reflection of herself. She knew the creed very well, hurt them, before they can hurt you. But that little tiny dark voice in her head whispered to her to fuck understanding why and just hurt Dawn back like Dawn had hurt her. And no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get it to shut the hell up.

So, she didn't move, not when Dawn had wrapped her arms around both her and Buffy. Not when Dawn had released them and backed away. Not when Buffy had let go of her hands and moved away as well. Not a muscle did she move, her jaw was clenched tightly to keep any words from slipping out unbidden from her mouth. Her eyes locked with Dawn's as Dawn pleaded with her not to leave. She watched almost impassively as Dawn backed away even further. Watched as Dawn's whole body slumped in defeat, saw the pain that was so clear in Dawn's eyes when neither she or Buffy said anything as she walked towards the door.

Dawn walked slowly towards the door, peeking back over her shoulder as walked, to look at the Slayers. She could barely lift her feet, she forced herself not to collapse right there. Talking to herself in her mind, trying to convince herself that in a few days' things would calm down and they could all work it out. Things would be all right between all of them. She felt more alone right now then she did when she thought that both Buffy and Faith were dead. She finally reached the door after a few eternities. With her hand on the knob, she paused, turned one last time, and locked her eyes with Faith's.

"I... I really am sorry Faith. I... I wish..." She couldn't finish, she turned back towards the door, her head dropping down to her chest and started to turn the knob.

The loneliness Faith saw in Dawn's eyes when she turned around at the door, broke Faith's heart. She knew that look, she had seen it staring back at her from her own reflection in the mirror for nineteen years. She had a moment of clarity then. This would be the moment to lash out, this was the moment that Dawn was the most vulnerable, this was the moment that she could cause Dawn the most pain, this would be the moment her dark side would strike to cause the most damage. Yes, this would be the moment to strike if her dark side was in control, but it wasn't. It was still there yes, would always be there, but it no longer owned her and at no point today had it ever controlled her. Her actions today had been a knee jerk reaction; she had made an assumption about her own self. She had doubted herself, she had not trusted herself, and it slowly dawned on her that Buffy, standing so quietly and not interfering at all, trusted her completely. She turned her head to look at Buffy and saw the ghost of a smile on her face and knew she was right.

She had been, was being tested today. It would have, could be so easy after all that had happened to both she and Buffy over the past few months, to just give up, give in and let the darkness, her insecurities and fears take control of her again. If she let Dawn walk out the door right now, she would fail that test, her silence spoke just as loudly as any hurtful words ever could. But she wasn't about to fail this test, it was too important. Dawn was too important, she was her family after all.

"Dawn... wait." Faith's voice trembled a little. She was scared now that she might have waited too long to do something.

Dawn turned back around, her eyes firmly focused on the floor, she pushed down the leap of joy at Faith's voice. She didn't look up to see which of the Slayers were approaching her as she heard the soft footsteps coming towards her. She saw a pair of black Docs and knew it was Faith that was standing in front of her. As she gazed at Faith's Docs she realized they were the same pair that Faith had three years ago. She knew she was right, because of the puncture marks on the toe of the left shoe; some idiot vampire had made them when he tried to bite her foot. A hysterical little giggle almost escaped Dawn at how inane this train of thought was given the circumstances.

"You were wrong, you know," Faith told Dawn softly. She waited for Dawn to look up at her, when she didn't she gently placed her fingers under Dawn's chin and raised her head.

Dawn still kept her eyes lowered after Faith raised her head up. She was afraid to look into Faith's eyes, afraid of what she might see in them. Afraid that Faith hated her.

"Dawn, please look at me." She waited patiently again for Dawn to raise her eyes up to hers. She saw surprise and a little bit of confusion in them when she finally did. Faith smiled softly. "You were wrong about me being Buffy's whole world Dawn..."

"No I'm not. You are Faith. You have to know by now just how much Buffy loves you. How could you not? I know you aren't stupid. You are her whole world." Dawn blurted out before she could stop herself, cutting Faith off. She couldn't believe after what happened today that she had the audacity to actually argue with Faith. She snapped her mouth shut, pulling her lower lip in between her teeth and biting down on it. Her eyes grew wide when she saw the twinkle of amusement flash in Faith's eyes at her actions.

"No I'm not wrong and in a way you aren't either. It's not just me who is Buffy's whole world, Dawn. You are too. Just like you and Buffy are my whole world. You and Buffy, you're my family. The only real family I've ever had, I guess I forgot that. I'm kinda new to all of this family stuff. Kinda new at talking about things and not running away from them. It's the only thing I knew how to do. And I wasn't leaving Buffy. I was just gonna stay with Mars for a few days. I was... I was afraid if I stayed here right now, I might hurt you. It's what I would have done before. If you had done what you did today the first time I was in Sunnydale I would have hurt you an..."

Dawn felt her bottom lip slip out from between her teeth and she knew that she was going to open her big mouth and argue with Faith again. Only this time she knew what was going to come out of her mouth was something Faith needed to hear and in her heart, she knew it was the right thing to do, so she cut Faith off again.

"No you wouldn't have. You can tell yourself all you want that you would have hurt me but you wouldn't. I know that. You've never hurt me, ever, not once and you could have plenty of times. We both know that. How many times did I run into after you went to work for the Mayor? And even though in reality I really wasn't there then, how come the memories the Monks gave me and you, gave everyone, didn't have you hurting or coming after me to hurt Buffy? Did you ever think about that Faith?" Dawn paused, she had rushed it all out in one long breath, she was definitely spending too much time with Willow. She took a huge breath and opened her mouth again before Faith or Buffy could interrupt her.

"I could have come after you with a sword today and even if I had managed to cut you, you still wouldn't have hurt me back. I know that and nothing you could ever say or believe about yourself - or do - will ever make me believe that you could. The Monks knew that and that's why all of the memories I have of you are all good. Even my Mom knew that, it's why even after all you did and were in jail she kept in touch with Kate. Why she had Angel come get you in the courtroom that day. She saw who you really were and not who you tried to pretend to be, just like I always saw who you were. If anyone hurt anyone, it was me. The things I said today, there is no excuse for them. I don't believe any of them are true, none of them and I just hope that someday you can forgive me. You're my family too, you've... in my heart you've always been my other big sister and I'm sorry and I know that's lame but I don't know how else to tell you how ashamed I am of what I did today I am... I..." She took in huge gulps of air; her heart was hammering against her chest. She lowered her eyes and then raised them back up to Faith.

"Faith do you? Do... do you hate me?" She held her breath as she waited for Faith to answer her.

"I... I could never hate you... You're my little sister Dawn. You always have been. I love you Gamin, you're my family." Faith opened her arms up wide in invitation to Dawn.

Dawn almost knocked them both over, she threw herself into Faith arms so forcefully. They both laughed a little at the sound that Faith made upon impact and the little squeak that came out of her from Dawn hugging her so tightly. Faith managed to squeeze her own little squeak out of Dawn as well from her tightly wrapped arms.

"I love you too Faith. I really am sorry..." The last word came out with a hiccup as Dawn started to cry again.

"I love you too... I won't lie I am hurt by what you said. Not to mention a little pissed off." Faith told Dawn gently.

"Me to..o... I me..an p..issed of..f at me t..oo." Dawn whispered back between hiccups.

"Me three..." Buffy said as she walked up to them.

Dawn and Faith unwrapped an arm from around each other and pulled Buffy into their hug.

After a few minutes of their group hug, Buffy told them, "I love you guys so much..."

"I love you all so much too..." Faith said next.

"I love you both even more..." Dawn put in her two-cents-worth.

"Well I love you all twice as much as even more..." Buffy said, then they all groaned at how corny they were being.

"This is so bad for my image..." Faith giggled, ruining her image just a little more.

"What image is that Faith? The one you have when you're wearing your feety pajamas with Snoopy on them? Or the one where you cried all the way through..."

"B! You promised you'd never tell!" Faith yelled, squeezing both Summers' girls harder.

"Through what? Cried through what Buffy?" Dawn squirmed out of the group hug; breathing had started to become an issue.

"I'mhungryanybodyelsehungryI'llcook!"

"You're always hungry Faith! But you can cook and while you're cooking, Buffy can tell me what it was that you cried all the way through."

"Ah fuck!" Faith stamped her foot and headed towards the kitchen. She smiled when her family shouted out her name for cursing as they trailed behind her. She knew they all still needed to talk about what happened together. She knew from the bond she shared with Buffy that Buffy hadn't told Dawn everything. But it was late or rather very early in the morning, she was hungry, they were hungry, they all needed a little break, a few giggles, a few smiles and a lot of sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy had cancelled all of their plans for the day. She and Faith had decided that they all should spend the day together concentrating on themselves as a family and trying to work through what had happened the day before. Both Slayers were nervous about telling Dawn of their experiences in Glory's Slayer Hell. They had decided together that Faith would be the one to tell Dawn about what happened, with Buffy only interjecting if she felt the need. They shared a silent understanding that it was entirely up to Faith to decide how much or how little to tell Dawn about what had happened to her at both Glory and Johnny's hands.

They spent the morning hedging around the issue, neither Dawn nor Buffy tried to push Faith into talking. Faith had barely uttered a word to either of them all morning. This was a conversation she had hoped to never have with anyone, let alone Dawn. She had done what she needed to survive, not just in Glory's Hell but her whole life and she was afraid of what she would see in Dawn's eyes once she knew the whole of it. Faith had no intention of telling her the gory details, but she had to tell Dawn enough of it for her to understand, she was going to keep it as PG as possible. Even so, Dawn was far from stupid, she would be able to read what was between the lines and Faith was afraid that once Dawn did, she would lose her.

Finally, as it neared afternoon, Faith suggested that they have a picnic down at the lake. She wanted to do this outside, in the wide-open space by the lake instead of in the cottage, which seemed to be growing smaller as the day grew long. She wanted to be in the fresh air, hear the birds chirping, and feel the warmth of the sun upon her skin as she told her dark tale.

After they finished their lunch, they all made themselves comfortable on the large blanket Buffy had brought. Faith sat with her back up against a massive ancient oak tree, Buffy sat right next to her. Dawn was sprawled out on her side facing them. Dawn watched as Faith leaned her head back against the tree, she lifted a visibly shaking hand, ran it through her hair, then lowered it and blindly reached out and found Buffy's hand with her own.

"When we first woke up there..." Faith paused, not sure if this was where she wanted to start. She felt Buffy squeeze her hand reassuringly. She stared at Dawn for long seconds then slid her eyes away. "When we woke after falling through the portal we didn't know that Glory had us. Buffy didn't know who had us but I did. The place we were at was familiar to me, I had been there before. I thought, when I first realized where I was, that I was dead and in hell. Thought that I had somehow pulled Buffy into hell with me and not just because of where we were but because of the things I had done. I have no doubt, if I had died that night after falling into the portal that hell is where I would have ended up. I knew he was dead and that if there were such a thing as heaven and hell, that hell was where Johnny would be. And when he came through the front door of the cabin I knew we were in hell." She paused again and took a few deep breaths.

"This wasn't a new hell to me. I had lived in this hell before with him. It was my personal hell, him, there, was, had been for a very long time, my greatest fear. When I was six my father left my mother..." She saw the look of surprise on Buffy's face out of the corner of her eye, but it didn't even come close to the surprise she felt within herself at the words that had just came out of her mouth. She hadn't, until they came out any intention of telling Dawn about her childhood, but something inside of her needed Dawn to know all of it. She needed to know if Dawn could still love her after she heard it all, heard all her secrets. She gathered her courage up around her like a coat and unconsciously slid a little closer to Buffy, leaning a little on her soul-mate's strength.

"My Mother, she started drinking a lot..."

Dawn kept her eyes glued on Faith as she talked. Faith's eyes were staring out sightlessly over the lake, her gaze internal, her voice monotone. It was almost as if she were talking about someone else, or retelling a story that someone had told to her once; a horror story, the kind that made you sleep with your lights on at night. The kind of story you wished the most creative of writers could never, even in their wildest imaginings ever come up with, the kind of story you wished could never, ever, be true. Dawn couldn't keep the silent tears from falling down her face, she cried for the Dark Slayer, somehow knowing that Faith very rarely, if ever cried for herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...and that was why we came here. We didn't mean to make you feel like we deserted you. I was having a hard time dealing with all of this. I had asked Buffy earlier in the day if we could come spend some time here, we were going to tell you about it. But then that happened afterwards at Mars and well... I was too caught up in my own problems and Buffy... well, I... If it wasn't for her, I would have never survived there. I would never have survived after we got back. I'm sorry for leaving you alone, making you feel that you had no one. I know how that feels. I just... I..." Faith trailed off, her voice was raw, hoarse from talking for so long.

She shivered a little as a gentle breeze dried the cold clammy sweat on her body. Her hand felt stiff, and she could only imagine how Buffy's felt after being gripped so tightly within her own for so long. She tried to release Buffy's hand only Buffy wouldn't let her. She kept her eyes on the lake afraid to look at Dawn, afraid she might see pity, disgust for her in Dawn's eyes. Afraid she might see in Dawn's eyes all those things she had felt about herself for so long. Her heart tried to tell her mind that she wouldn't, but it wasn't listening, too many years of seeing those things in other's eyes had left permanent scars upon her.

Dawn waited for Faith to look at her. She knew Faith had told her a very, very watered-down version of her life and what had happened to both she and Buffy when they were held captive. But despite her age, she knew exactly what Faith hadn't told her, and realized that it was probably ten times worse than what she even imagined. Last night she hadn't understood what Buffy had been talking about when she said that Faith had sacrificed herself for her, how she had hidden her greatest fear from Glory, but now she did; and Dawn couldn't even begin to imagine what that had done to the Dark Slayer on the inside. She had asked no questions, had remained silent throughout, respecting what her sister had asked of her the night before and giving that same respect to Faith as well. She didn't know what to say anyway. What do you say to someone that had been through the things Faith had? What do you say to someone who had willingly endured all that Faith had to spare someone else, and not just anyone but Buffy, her sister, the horrors she had experienced.

She had loved Faith before, but, by the time Faith had finished, the love she felt before paled compared to the love she had now for the Dark Slayer. The respect she had for the Dark Slayer for turning her life around grew a million times more. She was awed, humbled and honored to have Faith in her life, as her sister. More than once since her return to Sunnydale Faith had set aside her own wants, needs, desires, for others. She had risked everything, including her life, her sanity, had been willing to throw everything away that she worked so hard for to make sure that not just Buffy, but Dawn, the Scoobs, all of them survived Glory. For that she would have Dawn's unconditional love and support forever.

She watched as Faith licked her parched lips, she reached over and grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler. She stood up and slowly inched her way over to Faith. She knelt down in front of her and handed her the water.

Faith saw Dawn approach her with the water out of the corner of her eye but still she couldn't bring herself to look at her. She held her hand out for the bottle and mumbled a thank you, still refusing to turn her eyes towards Dawn. She chugged down the whole bottle without pause. She dropped the bottle to the ground and closed her eyes. She couldn't deal, she couldn't bear the thought that Dawn would reject her, or feel any of those things she had felt about herself for so long. Dawn had been the one good, one shiny bright light in her life for so long. The only good, real, true memories in the darkness she had lived in for so long. The memories she had of Dawn had sustained her, had made her see what life could be like, had she done things differently, how her life could be, if she turned it around. And she had turned her life around, had gotten more than she had ever dreamed was possible. Had gotten all those secret wishes, had gotten what she had never told anyone she wanted, had gotten what she had only wished for late at night in her secret heart of hearts and now she was afraid of losing one of the people that had always been a part of those dreams.

It took her a second or two to realize she was being hugged. Another second to realize that it wasn't Buffy but Dawn who was hugging her and another second to open her eyes, a little afraid that when she did she would wake up and it would have only been a dream. She returned the hug fiercely, squeezing all the air and a very loud squeak out of Dawn. She heard a muffled, 'Thank you,' and, an 'I love you,' followed by a squeaked out, 'Can't breath,' come from Dawn whose head was buried against her shoulder.

She released Dawn, who sat back on her calves. Faith finally found her courage and looked into Dawn's eyes. What she saw there shouldn't have surprised her but it did anyway. She saw the same things in Dawn's eyes that she had seen in Buffy's all those months ago when Buffy had found out all her secrets. Compassion, sympathy, empathy, anger at the perpetrators of the abuse, but not a hint of accusation, pity or disgust was in Dawn's eyes. And above all else, even stronger was unwavering, unconditional love.

"No. Thank you, Gamin," Faith whispered to Dawn.

"You're welcome." Dawn told her just as softly, then even softer, "I really am sorry about yesterday. I was wrong."

"I know you are, we know you are. Been there, done that a few times myself." Faith let out a little self-depreciating chuckle.

"You still mad at me?" Dawn asked her, but she already knew the answer.

"A little yeah..."

"You still mad too Buffy?" Dawn asked, already knowing Buffy's answer too.

"A little yeah..."

Then Dawn saw the evil twinkle show up in both Slayers' eyes and knew she was in deep shit. Not bad deep shit, but deep shit nonetheless. Little did she realize how literal that thought would turn out to be.

"But you know..." Buffy started.

"...you did say..." Faith cut in.

"...that you would..." Buffy continued.

"I hate when you guys do this..." Dawn interjected.

"...would do anything to make up for this..." Faith continued as if Dawn hadn't spoken.

"...so you can start by..." Buffy smiled at the image she got from Faith through their bond at what Faith was going to tell Dawn to do. Their bond certainly made things like this much easier.

"...cleaning the stalls in the stable..." Faith finished with a smirk.

"No way! I'm so not doin' that!" Dawn crossed her arms and glared at them. She knew she would end up doing it, but she wasn't going to give in that easily.

"And you might..." Faith started this time.

"...want to change your clothes first..." Buffy continued.

"...because it kinda is a dirty job..." Faith finished and then outright laughed at the look on Dawn's face.

"This is so not fair... Two against one... Not fair..." Dawn grumbled and groaned mumbling to herself as she stalked off towards the cottage. She turned around and shouted at the laughing Slayers, "I LOVE YOU GUYS!"

"WE LOVE YOU TOO DAWNIE!" They shouted back together.

"We are so startin' to get way too corny, B..."

"I'd have to agree Sweetums, honeypie, darling, light o' my life, my little love muffin!"

Faith looked at Buffy with wide-eyed horror as she started spouting out her over-sweet endearments. She put her fingers in her ears so she didn't have to listen to anymore and Buffy grabbed the opportunity to start tickling her. Two seconds later, she found herself being tickled without mercy by both Dawn and Buffy.

"U... Sum...m...mers'... do...n't... p...lay.... fai...r!" She got out between bouts of laughter, and started laughing harder when both Buffy and Dawn just nodded their heads in agreement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She watched them as they walked down the path that led between all of the cottages privacy-protection barriers towards the portal that would take her back to Sunnydale, Obsidian trailing behind them. They had asked her to stay with them a while longer. Since she had arrived here on what was a late Friday afternoon earth time she could stay longer than the week originally planned before she had to return on earth's Sunday in time to get a good nights sleep for school the next day. So she had ended up staying an additional two weeks. Dawn couldn't help but think that they were probably the best two weeks of her life.

The first few days after the day she had lost it on Faith while they were training had been awkward, despite the laughter and the ease with which she and Faith had fallen back into their relationship. The hurtful words Dawn had spoken still hung in the air between them, as well as between her and Buffy. She had apologized so many times that both Slayers had asked her to stop and Dawn had finally realized that after saying 'I'm sorry' over and over the two words started to lose their meaning. Instead, she decided to let her actions speak for her and she had subtly begun a campaign of showing both Slayers how much they meant to her. She reminded them of the fun they had together, thanked them for the things they had done for her. She told them stories, most of them were about the times she had spent with Faith the first time the Dark Slayer had come to Sunnydale. She told them all about the things Joyce had said about the Dark Slayer. She gave both Slayers, but most importantly Faith, a glimpse through her eyes of exactly how she saw Faith. As the days passed they all grew closer together as sisters, as friends, as a family and Dawn finally understood exactly what the phrase, 'Home is where the heart is,' meant.

She saw a side to Buffy and Faith that she never thought she would ever see over the last two weeks. Sure, they had fun those weeks when Buffy had gone after and brought Faith back from LA, but being here was different. In Sunnydale even when they were out having fun there was always a part of the Slayers that was always on alert, they couldn't, ever, not really, completely let themselves relax. None of them could really, they were all too aware of what hid in the darkness of the night.

It made her a little sad though to know that once the Slayers returned to Sunnydale, the totally carefree young women she had come to know and had spent the last three weeks with would be gone. She grew to have a true appreciation for who and what they were, for what they had tried and were still trying to give, do for her. They wanted for her all the things, they wanted for themselves, but could not have, not completely; they wanted to give her the gift of normal happy life. A life that didn't include demons, vampires, apocalypses and death on a daily basis.

It was funny too, considering she was a few years younger then them, to realize just how young they both really were. She guessed her perception of them was skewed because they were Slayers. The things they had both seen, had both had to do, gave them an air, a sense of maturity that exceeded their real age. The responsibilities, the weight they both carried upon their shoulders; they were never really given the opportunity to be truly young, Faith even more so than Buffy. Now not only did they carry the burden of being Slayers, but they had been thrust into the roles of provider and parent as well.

As much as they wanted her to have a normal happy life, she wanted even more than they did for themselves, for them to have a happy long life together. So, she wished and prayed for the things she knew they didn't allow themselves to wish and pray for. She wanted them to have the chance to be young, go to college, take vacations, have laughter be a daily part of their lives. She wanted them to have the chance to have children if they wanted, to celebrate their twenty-fifth, fiftieth anniversary together. She had not a doubt that they would stay together for the rest of their lives, the bond between them, the love, was stronger than even the strongest metal known in any universe and it made her dance with joy inside every time she saw them together. She would consider herself the luckiest girl in the world if she could find someone who loved her half as much as Buffy and Faith loved each other.

She made a silent vow to herself as they walked those last few feet to the portal. She would do nothing to add to their already overburden shoulders; instead she would do everything within her power to help them have the happy long life together they so richly deserved. She would cajole, plead, push and force them to take care of themselves, be careful, live life, make time for themselves, everything and anything she could do to help them have a full life outside of being Slayers. She had every intention when she got back to Sunnydale of recruiting all the rest of her extended family, witches, mortals, vampires, and Immortals alike in helping her achieve this goal.

As Dawn stood in front of the portal with her sisters-friends-mentors-ala-parents, hugging them goodbye with tears in her eyes, there was a dream that Dawn carried in her heart. A dream that Dawn was determined would some day come true.

One day she wanted to walk into the courtyard of the mansion fifty, sixty, many, many years from now, just as the sun was beginning to rise and see two little old, gray-haired, retired Slayers, cuddled up on the lounge chair, giggling and kissing as they waited for the sun to rise and listened for the promises the new day brought forth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They stood quietly and watched Dawn as she walked into the portal. They had only three more days here until they had to return to Sunnydale themselves. Atropos had told them, if they stayed any longer, it could seriously change what was 'Fated' within the Tapestry of Life. They served a purpose within their own domain and not just as Slayers. Dawn, as well as their extended family were part of that purpose. Their destinies lay within their own domain and not here within the domain of the Immortals. They were assured however, that they would be able to return here and that they would see all of the Immortals quite frequently. The Living Scroll had ensured that. According to it, the Immortals' destinies were entwined with those of the Slayers and the others. Regardless of what the Living Scroll had said or not said, Atropos informed them the other day, in a voice that brooked no argument, they were family and they were stuck with them whether they liked it or not.

"I think I'm actually gonna miss her..." Buffy sighed as she leaned back against Faith and watched the portal as it started slowly to close. She tipped her head back onto Faith's shoulder, turned it slightly and peered up at Faith.

"I am too Giz..." Faith tightened her arms around Buffy's waist; she leaned her cheek next to Buffy's and smiled as she felt Buffy lay her hands lightly on top of hers.

Buffy smiled as she heard the purring rumbling out of Faith's chest. Her answering purr grew as she felt Faith's thumbs tenderly stroking her stomach. The tender stroking was sending little darts of pleasure through her. She let out a soft moan and her thoughts hazily drifted away, her own hands started to caress the back of Faith's. One of Faith's hands slid down and under her midriff t-shirt to softly stroke her bare skin which elicited another soft moan from her. Her thoughts took a decidedly wicked turn when it suddenly sunk in that she and Faith were alone, no Dawn, no Immortals, for the first time in three weeks. She twisted quickly around in Faith's arms and captured Faith's mouth with her own in one fell swoop.

Faith felt her knees grow weak as Buffy kissed her like there was no tomorrow. She loved kissing Buffy. She could kiss her forever. She loved Buffy's soft lips, the velvety texture of her tongue as it danced with her own. The way Buffy kissed her as if she could never get enough, as if there were no one and nothing else in the world. A kiss from Buffy always made her feel that way, whether it was a soft peck on the lips or an outright kiss of passion that made her toes curl. They put all the pent up need and passion from suppressing their desire to make love with each other for the last three weeks into the kiss.

Somehow, Buffy's hands ended up around Faith's neck. She ran them up into Faith's hair, she softly alternated between massaging and raking her nails along Faith's scalp. She moaned into the kiss when she felt Faith's nipples harden and press insistently against her own breasts.

Faith felt a trail of goose-bumps make their way down her spine at Buffy's caressing hands, she squirmed a little as the crotch of her pants seemed to become oppressively tight. Her hands drifted down Buffy's back to the tops of her buttocks and she pulled Buffy into her hard. She growled low in her throat when she felt Buffy press in to her harder and start grinding her pelvis into hers.

They were both breathing hard when they ended the kiss, Buffy's eyes gold, Faith's emerald. Buffy's breathing went into hyper-drive as Faith slid a leg in-between her own and pressed her thigh up into her. The whoosh of air as the portal closed completely brought back to them the reality of where they were. The last thing either wanted after waiting three long weeks to be together was someone walking in on them again!

"Cottage... Now..." Faith growled out, a wolfish smile appeared when she saw the shudder of desire go through Buffy.

She had plans for Buffy, especially since Buffy had spent the last three weeks whispering to her at every opportunity exactly what she wanted them to do once they were alone. She let all those images Buffy had conjured up in her mind over the last few weeks flow to Buffy through their bond. Her smile grew more wolfish as she watched Buffy's eyes grow wide, then heavy with desire, and the little gasp Buffy gave as she was hit with the feelings the images created made Faith laugh low and throaty. She picked Buffy up and hoisted her onto Obsidian's back then climbed up behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~