*****

Xander's having a good dream. A rarity, for sure. He hasn't had a lot of them since Buffy came to town, so good dreams are to be savored. And this one is good. He and Anya are still together old and married, surrounded by children and grandchildren. She's as beautiful as ever. And she's Xander's.

A future. Perhaps his.

A future that he isn't meant to see the end of due to the steady 'bang-bang-bang' on his front door. He feels himself being pulled away from the happiness and fights it. Seconds pass as Xander lies half-asleep yet not, trying desperately to hang onto the fragments of his dream.

But the dream cannot be regained and Xander is worried that he'll forget the dream as soon as he's completely awake. Xander's lost too many good and happy dreams this way so he makes a concerted effort to remember even as whoever is at his door pounds harder, waking him fully.

"Just a second!" Half mumbled, half yelled out of a mouth that's still mostly asleep. Xander sits up and remembers to pull on a pair of boxers. He'd rather not open the door naked and find Buffy, instead of Anya, on the other side of it like last time. A scene best forgotten, but will never be.

Xander checks his bedside clock. 2:00 AM. Nothing good ever happens at two in the morning. He hurries to the door, only stubbing his toe twice and barking his shin once. His apartment is finally starting to feel like the home he never really had. Much better than dark basements that only hold bad memories. This is a place Xander can finally feel at home in.

With another "Just a second!" Xander fumbles at the locks, wondering why he has so many and then remembers that he lives in a town on a Hellmouth. The pounding stops, thank goodness, at the sound of his voice. Xander's never had any trouble with the neighbors and he doesn't want to start.

Three deadbolts, one chain, and a doorknob lock later, his door is swinging open to reveal someone that's not Anya and certainly isn't Buffy. It's someone he never expected to see at his door and strangely enough, that bothers him.

Riley Finn. Riley Finn is standing. No. *Swaying* in Xander's doorway.

Which can only mean one thing. Riley is drunk. Drunk and somehow he ended up at Xander's place when he meant to go to Buffy's. Because why would Riley come to *him* when he had the Blonde Ambition at his side? Not that Buffy and Madonna have anything in common...

Xander mentally shakes off that train of thought. Being awakened in the middle of the night does strange things to his thought processes. They tend to wander off in every direction and never seem to have a point.

Realizing that while he's chastising his thoughts, Riley is still swaying in the hallway like a glow-in-the-dark light stick on Halloween. Still drunk and looking adorably ruffled. Guys like Riley, farmboys with a penchant for wrestling in a non-gay way, always look adorable when they're ruffled.

Xander considers taking a personal moment to have a small freak-out about exactly *why* he thinks Riley looks adorable, but decides against it. The 'I'm about to puke' face Riley is making puts a stop to any thoughts but getting him to the bathroom before he harfs on Xander's carpet.

With much grunting and swearing (mostly on Xander's part) they get Riley into the bathroom and hunched over the toilet. Xander tries not to listen, wanting to avoid a sympathy puke. He busies himself rubbing a hand in what he hopes is a soothing manner up and down Riley's back.

As he rubs the strong back, Xander wonders why anyone finds it fun to get drunk. He doesn't really care, just wants to keep his mind off of how Riley might look shirtless. Lots of muscles, he supposes. Pecs and delts and quads and lots of skin, too. Skin that was probably really soft and...

And exploring his sexuality wasn't something Xander had planned to do tonight. That was something he was saving for later. Probably. But looking at Riley, touching Riley, thinking about Riley have him wondering.

So. Why do people get drunk? It can't be because they enjoy the hangovers and the puking. Maybe they crave the whatever they get out of drinking. The euphoria or some other psych term. Probably Riley could tell him if he wasn't still praying to the porcelain god. But why would anyone crave losing control like that?

Unfortunately, a bathroom at two in the morning isn't the best place to solve the world's problems. It is, however, the place to cop a feel from a drunk Iowa farmboy who'd probably never been touched like *that* by another man.

It happens accidentally. One second Xander is rubbing Riley's back in a gesture of support and the next he is...caressing it. Back and forth. Up and down. Tracing weird patterns in the back of Riley's sweaty t-shirt, soaking up the warmth. Wanting to just lean down and put his face in Riley's neck and find out if he smells like the air after a spring rain.

Too far gone in his own thoughts to notice that Riley's not puking anymore and is leaning into his touch. That he has been for some time.

Confusing and awkward for the briefest of moments and then Riley is turning around and looking at Xander. Just *looking* with eyes that are hard and hungry and sad all at the same time.

Xander has a second to wonder what Riley is thinking and then Riley is right there. Right. There. In Xander's face.

Kissing Xander.

It's like a fucking revelation. Warm, wet, and insistent. Taste of beer and vomit and something that has to be Riley. It's just...

Xander's kissing a guy.

He's kissing Riley and it is a revelation. An epiphany. Or something equally as mind blowingly, earth shatteringly *perfect.* This is nothing like kissing Anya. Nothing like kissing a woman at all.

What kind of picture they must make? Xander perched on the edge of the tub, Riley kneeling in front of him, arms wrapped around Xander, holding him close. Holding him against Riley's perfectly shaped chest in arms that feel so *right* and hey, looks like Xander is going to do some unscheduled exploring of his sexuality anyway.

As quickly as the kiss starts, it ends with Riley pulling away to puke again. Xander tries not to take this development personally while he adjusts his half hard dick in his boxers.

But rational thinking is rearing its ugly head, as it was bound to. This can't happen. Riley is with Buffy. They are Together. And hasn't Xander learned his lesson about kissing someone who is taken? Bad things happen when you let hormones do the talking.

This... Whatever this is with Riley won't happen. It won't go any further. Xander isn't going to lose two good friends just to get laid.

Something that he plans to tell Riley but Riley has since passed out. He looks so peaceful that Xander can't help but reach out and brush the hair off Riley's forehead. Maybe someday they can give this thing between them a try. Someday when Riley isn't drunk and isn't dating Buffy. Xander sees the way he looks at her, sees how easily and freely Riley gives his love to her.

Someday which may be never and Xander would be okay with that too.

For now he's content to sit down beside Riley and let him use Xander's lap as a pillow. Never mind that he needs to be up in a few hours or that the bathroom floor is cold and uncomfortable.

It's enough to just be by Riley and dream of how things could be someday.

End.