When I woke up in the morning, or afternoon, or whatever the heck time it was, I found myself trapped under the body of a certain small blonde. Buffy was practically lying on top of me, her leg across mine, her arm across my chest, and her hand...her hand was on the side of my left breast. I was afraid to even breathe cause I didn't want her to wake up and find us like this --- that would be pretty damn embarrassing for the both of us. But how was I gonna get out of this without waking her?

I tried doing it one body part at a time, starting with the hand. Not that it wasn't nice right where it was but it was also distracting as hell and if I was gonna do this right, I had to focus. I almost had it all the way off when Buffy let out a groan and decided to wrap her arm even more tightly around my body. I sighed and stared up at the ceiling. I had to face it. This was not working.

Screw it. "B? Buffy?" I said, shaking her lightly on the shoulder. She groaned softly again as her eyes fluttered open and she picked her head up. "Hey," I said smiling. "Uh, I need to go to the bathroom." She looked confused for a second and then seemed to realize that I couldn't get up if she didn't move.

"Sorry," she said, smiling sheepishly and untangling herself.

"No problem," I said, getting up. "If I were sleeping next to someone as cuddly as me, I'd be lying on top of me too." I gave her a smirk as I walked out the door. By the time I got out of the bathroom and changed into something a little less skimpy, Buffy was already downstairs in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal in front of her. "Where's your mom?" I asked, getting a bowl.

"She's visiting her sister, my aunt," she said chewing around a mouthful of Lucky Charms. "She'll be back tomorrow."

I sat down next to her at the counter and poured myself some cereal but before I could take my first bite, the doorbell rang.

"It's 10:30," Buffy said, glancing at her watch. "Wonder who it could be?" She got up and walked to answer the front door. After a few minutes had passed and she still wasn't back, I drained the last of the milk and walked over to the living room where I could heard voices. There was some old guy in there with her but his back was to me so I couldn't make out a face. Buffy saw me in the doorway and waved me in. I went over to sit next to her and saw that the guy she was talking to had shaggy salt and pepper hair, and a craggy, longish face.

"Why don't you tell her what you just told me?" Buffy said with something like defiance in her voice.

His expression didn't change even as he spoke. "In every generation, there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. You, Buffy, are the Slayer." He sounded like he was reading from a script and the stuff he was saying sounded like it belonged in a comic book. "You don't believe me," he stated without missing a beat.

"I'm seriously beginning to regret the letting you in part," Buffy said drily.

"Turn on the TV to any news channel. It's already begun." He sat back and waited with his arms patiently folded. Eventually Buffy took the remote and did as he said. I was still keeping an eye on him in case he flipped out or something when the report on the television caught my attention.

"....tragic attack on a teenage party last night. It was held in the house behind me at the home of David Kines, an affluential defense attorney. According to police, the party was being hosted by his son, Paul when it was broken up by gangmembers, high on drugs. Witnesses say that some members of the gang were wearing grotesque masks. By the time this rampage was over, several party goers, including its host were dead and dozens more were wounded..."

Buffy had her hand covering her mouth and a look of complete, utter shock on her face. "No," she whispered, still staring at the TV. "What did you do?!" She shouted, angrily turning on the old guy.

"I didn't do anything," he replied, still with the same placid look on his face. "Most people willfully deny what they see with their own eyes. Those weren't gangmembers and they weren't wearing masks. They were vampires. And the people they've killed will rise. It is your job to see that they don't."

"I don't believe you," Buffy said, shaking her head. I moved closer to her and took her hand in mine. She threw me a grateful look.

"You don't want to." He leaned forward in his seat. "It's a natural reaction but we don't have time for this." In a lightning fast move I never would've pegged him capable of, he took something from inside his coat and threw it at me.

I barely had time to say, "Shit!" and bring my hands up when Buffy's hand appeared out of nowhere, grabbing whatever it was that the old guy had thrown at me. "What the fuck!" I stared at the wooden -- stake? -- which was an inch from my face.

"You see?" He said with a small smile. "No normal human would've been able to do that. You were made to fight vampires."

I couldn't decide whether to stare in shock or to show him what I thought of his cheap trick. "Do that again and I'll kick your ass. Old man or not," I said, almost growling at him. His head canted to the side and he mutely nodded.

"Do you believe me now?" He asked, looking at Buffy. I don't think Buffy really heard him cause she was still staring at the stake in her hand. "My name is Merrick," he continued on as if she had answered him. "I am your Watcher and as your Watcher, my job is to train you and prepare you as best I can so that you can realize your duty and fulfill your destiny." My head was spinning already and I couldn't imagine how Buffy was feeling. If this were real like it was starting to look like more and more, her life had just gotten a hundred times more complicated in a few short minutes.

I took Buffy's hand which was still holding the stake and pulled it down. "B, look at me. Are you all right?" Her eyes wandered up to mine, glazed and stunned. But even as I watched, they began clearing up, gaining a sharp, clear focus.

She held my gaze a moment longer and then turned back to Merrick. "What do I need to do?" I think that was the first time I'd ever heard her so serious and focused.

"You're stronger, faster, tougher than most humans but so are vampires," Merrick began. "First, you must learn how to kill them. What you hold in your hand is your greatest weapon. A wooden stake through the heart will kill them. Direct exposure to sunlight will roast them. Holy water and crosses will burn them. Tonight, we'll go to the morgue and stop the newly made vampires from rising and until then, I will train you."

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "But before we train, can I change out of this first? I don't think pink jamies are conducive to full workout conditions." She left the room, leaving Merrick and me to stare at each other.

"You might want to change too," he finally said.

"Why?"

"She needs a sparring partner and I'm too old for that." Even though I didn't quite believe him, I slowly got up and followed Buffy upstairs to change.

*****

Vampires, demons, slayers. Who knew any of this stuff was real? Well, I guess I knew now. Merrick made me train nonstop all afternoon and for someone who looked as old as he did, he still put me down on my butt a couple of times. The only reason I put up with it as well as I did was because he showed me what I was capable of doing. The powers I have are so incredible and he says I've only just begun to scratch the surface. When I'd asked him where the powers had came from and why I didn't have them until now, he told me bluntly that a Slayer had to die to pass on her powers which kinda dampened the mood considerably. So, in addition to finding out that I was destined to fight demons and vampires for the rest of my life, I also find out that my life would probably not last too long anyway. What had Merrick said?

"Most Slayers don't live past their eighteenth birthday."

That statement sucked the wind right out of me. Eighteen? I'd just turned seventeen. Dying was some far off concept that had never had anything to do with my life but here it was being jammed down my throat and I couldn't do a thing about it. Faith had immediately wrapped me into her arms and even though it didn't change anything, it made me feel just a little bit better and I didn't let go until Merrick made it known that it was time to get back to training.

The only other interruption was when Jessica called. She'd been shaken up by the attack yesterday but aside from that, she was fine. But the same thing couldn't be said about Jenny, Paul, and a couple of other people from the party who'd been killed. When I heard that Jenny was one of the victims, I was shocked cause I'd seen her just a couple of hours ago. She had been alive and even though we weren't even friends, knowing she could be one of the vampires I'd have to stake tonight made me sick.

Once 7:00 rolled around, Merrick, Faith, and me were at the hospital, trying to inconspicuously sneak into the morgue. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering triple time from anxiety and fear. I could die tonight. If I messed up, Faith could die.

"Maybe, I should do this alone," I said to her again.

"Maybe you should." I felt relieved before she went on. "But you're not gonna. We're in this together, B. After all, I can't let you have all the fun." She grinned at me and I wanted to pull her to me and hold her as tight as I could because I knew she was as scared as I was but she wanted to act tough for me. I would've done it too if Merrick didn't choose that moment to come back.

"It's deserted," he said. "Let's go." He led us down to the basement and into a room with what looked like drawers or cabinet doors all around the walls. I knew that there were bodies behind each one and I tried not to shiver in the cool atmosphere. Merrick picked up a clipboard hanging from a nail in the wall and looked through the entries while Faith and I took out our stakes and stood there looking nervously around. I was half-expecting a vampire to pop out at any second and Faith looked like she was thinking the same thing too.

Merrick began opening one cabinet after another, pulling out the trays until he had five open. I had to remind myself to start breathing again after he pulled the first body out. It was Jenny. Naked, pale, and waxy, she laid there and I began to wonder if I could really do this. I clutched the stake tighter until my knuckles began turning white.

"Now we wait," Merrick said, sitting down in the only chair in the room.

We started out standing in the middle of the room but, pretty soon, Faith and I were both sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. We waited for fifteen minutes in silence. It just didn't seem right to talk in that room. Something along the lines of not disturbing the dead --- I guess that didn't apply to staking them though.

When I first saw one of the corpses twitch, I thought I was imagining things. When it twitched again, I jumped up and ran over. I raised the stake over its heart and glanced up to Merrick before jamming it into the corpse's chest. Its eyes opened wide before the whole body dissolved to dust. I couldn't even take a breath before it seemed like the whole room was full of walking undead vampires. They'd all risen and they were all pissed.

"Didn't get enough sleep?" I asked the vampire who had been Paul. He growled and his face changed. Ridges protruded from his brow and fangs extended from his mouth

"I'll make you bleed," he said, drool dripping from the corners of his mouth. And then he charged, ramming his shoulder into my gut and bringing us both crashing to the floor. Before he could bite down on me, I brought my knees up and pushed him off. I scrambled to stake him before he could get off his back. Turning to look for Faith, I saw that she and Jenny were trading blows. With a running start, I jumped and kicked Jenny in the right kidney and Faith took the opportunity to stake her. We looked at each other for a few seconds after Jenny turned to dust and then Faith began laughing.

"Shit! That was fun." Rotating her shoulder gingerly, she added, "Wicked painful but still fun."

I went over to her side immediately. "You all right?" I asked.

"Five by five," she said with a grin and then turned to Merrick. "How'd we do for a first time old man?"

"You didn't die," he stated matter-of-factly. "Good start." Then he turned and left the room.

"Inspirational words indeed," I said with a smirk. Grabbing Faith's hand, I pulled her out. "Let's go before they make us dustbust this place."

After I dropped Merrick off at the motel he was staying at and listened to him lecture us the whole way about how the Slayer thing was this huge big secret which we shouldn't tell anybody about, I drove Faith back to her house. It was the first time I'd actually been to her house and as that thought crossed my mind, I also realized that I knew nothing about her family --- not if she had any siblings, not if she had any pets, not anything. And since she didn't invite me in when we got there, I was still in the dark about that stuff. I promised myself that I'd ask her about it tomorrow because I really wanted to know more about her. In fact, I wanted to know everything there was to know about her. Just thinking about seeing her tomorrow made me smile.

It was funny in a weird sort of way. Today, I'd found out I had a destiny I didn't even know about, that I was going to have to risk my life every night slaying demons, that my life would by all accounts end in a year and yet, when I walked through the door of my house, I still had a smile on my face. I spent the rest of the night finishing up some work for school, making myself a dinner of ready made frozen food which tastes about as bad as it sounds, and watching some TV. I was just about to call it a night and go off to bed when the front door opened and my dad walked in. His face lit up as soon as he saw me.

"Hey sweetie," he said, coming over and giving me a bear hug like he always did. "How's my favorite girl in the whole world?"

"Suffocating," I said as he let me go with a chuckle.

"I missed you, honey," he said, cupping my face in his hands. "I know I've been scarce lately but with the quarterlies coming up, they've been working me to the bone."

"I'm just glad to see you dad."

He pulled me into another hug. "I'm glad to see you too honey. How about some dessert?" He asked, releasing me. I could spot the twinkle in his eye from a mile away.

"Chocolate sundaes?" I asked, smiling.

"With whipped cream," he said, chuckling.

We glutted ourselves on ice cream and, as tradition dictated, wiped the bowls clean. By the time I shuffled off to bed, I felt like a walking sundae myself. But I was happy because it was my dad and I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him. Even if he hadn't been around lately, it didn't mean anything because I couldn't stay mad at him, no matter what he did. The only thing was that when I got into bed and cuddled up with Mr. Gordo, I wished Faith was there too. I'd kinda gotten used to having her around and now that she wasn't, I missed how safe and comforting I felt in her presence.

The first night she'd spent in my house, I'd woken up to my mom and dad's yelling and, like always, I just wanted the bed or the ground or something to open up and swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to hear it anymore. I was so sick of it all, I wanted to scream so that I could at least drown them out. That's when I heard Faith whimpering next to me. At first, I thought she was awake but then she started muttering. Over the yelling, all I could make out was her saying something about her dad and then she just kept saying please and begging and I wanted to roll over and comfort her or help her in some way but I couldn't move. All I could do was lay there and listen to my parents fighting and feeling totally useless. And when I thought I was going to go out of my mind, I felt a hand on my back. It was Faith. She helped me. She held me. And she didn't question or judge. So yeah, I miss having her here.

But I managed to get through the night and when morning came, I got ready to go to school again. Going through the same normal routine made everything else that had happened in the last twenty four hours seem even stranger than it already was. Dad wasn't there when I got up. He'd probably gone to the office already. I was hoping to see him before he left but I guess I'd have to get up way earlier to do that. The attack at Saturday's party was all over the news on the radio. So was what had happened in the morgue last night, only they didn't mention anything about vampires or us dusting them. No, they just thought it was the work of some crazy cult who had a thing for stealing the bodies of dead people...ewww, how gross is that?

The mood at school was pretty somber too. I found Heather and her group outside and some of the girls were sniffling and crying as they talked about what a tragedy it was and how much they were going to miss Jenny. When Jessica saw me, she pulled me into a hug and began crying on my shoulder.

"Oh God, Buffy. I still can't believe it. I keep expecting to see Jenny any minute even though I know she's dead."

I patted her on the shoulder and said all the things you're supposed to say in situations like that. Then Heather hugged me, though she didn't cry. She said we were going to hold an emergency squad meeting after school today before we all left for our first class. When I got to Mr. Drummond's class, Faith was already in her seat and I started feeling guilty about how happy I was to see her but the guilt disappeared as soon as she smiled that full out smile at me.

"Hey," I said, quickly sitting down.

"Hey yourself." Her customary piece of notebook paper was on the desk in front of her as was the pen I'd given her on that first day. Just seeing it in her hand put a silly grin on my face. And I knew it was a silly grin because she asked, "Why do you have that goofy ass grin on your face? Not that it's not cute and all but if it's cause I'm doing something goofy, you'd tell me right? I mean, you wouldn't just let me keep acting goofy without warning me, right?" She looked at me suspiciously and I just started laughing which drew the attention of the whole class. I clamped a hand over my mouth and looked to see that she was smirking.

"Thanks a lot," I hissed with a mock glare as Mr. Drummond started the class.

She gave me an innocent 'who me?' look and then totally ignored me and turned her attention to the front of the class. It was the usual boring lecture following the moment of silence we took for the deaths of the five people at the party and the collection of the reports we'd worked on during the weekend. As soon as the class ended though, I reached over and punched Faith on the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" She asked with a wounded expression.

"To wake you up and because you made me look like an idiot earlier."

She grinned, folding her piece of paper and stuffing it into her pocket. "Thanks but I can't take all the credit." Before I could make the appropriate retort, she winked and took off, leaving me grinning my silly grin again.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur. During lunch, I saw Faith and her group sitting near the far wall and I was tempted to go join them but Jessica was holding onto my hand and I couldn't get away. And maybe I wasn't ready to sever all ties with my clique yet. Even as innocuous as who you sit with during lunch can have tremendous ramifications for the rest of your social life --- during high school anyway. So I wasn't ready to forsake what I knew and what I was comfortable with even though I wanted to. The people I sat with were the only friends I'd known for so long that I was scared to lose them. Call me a coward. Faith seemed to understand what I was going through though because every time we caught each other's gaze, she'd give me a little smile which just made everything seem so much better.

When school ended, I was putting away some books in my locker when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Purely on instinct which I didn't even know I had until that moment, I whirled around and grabbed the wrist of whoever was standing behind me.

"Merrick, what are you doing here and why are you sneaking up on me?"

He shook my hand off and said with a droll expression, "If you weren't so preoccupied, you would've heard me coming a mile away and as for what I'm doing here, we have training."

"I have a meeting to go to." He kept looking at me like what I said didn't mean anything. "So we'll have to train later...after my meeting. I mean, I do have a social life. I just can't abandon it."

"You're a Slayer, Buffy," he said in all seriousness. "You're *the* Slayer and there's only you to protect the world against every vampire and demon who wants to wreak havoc on the human race. And if training means it'll keep you alive that much longer and help in your fight that much better then I have no problem wrecking your social life."

He was right. And I couldn't do anything about it *because* he was right. I wanted to tell him to take his destiny and duty and training and take a hike off the deep end of a canyon. But I'd seen vampires with my own eyes. I'd killed them with my own hands. And I couldn't pretend like they didn't exist. I couldn't argue that cheerleading practice was more important than saving the world. All the while, he was looking at me expectantly so I finally slammed the locker door shut and turned to face him.

"Fine, let's go." If my tone was a little harsh, it was only because I realized the extent of the sacrifice I was expected to endure. My life was not mine anymore.

"First we have to pick up Faith," he said, heading to the back of the school.

"Why?" I asked, jogging to catch up with him. "Why do we have to involve her? Being a Slayer might be my duty but it's not hers. I don't want to put her in danger...and anyway, I thought you said it was really important that nobody knows about this, about me being a Slayer."

Merrick glanced at me as we continued walking down the hall. "Don't worry about Faith. She can take care of herself," he said in his slow drawl. "And she doesn't have to get involved if she doesn't want to. But I have a feeling she would want to help you." He paused slightly before glancing at me again. "And I think you want her help too."

I didn't know how to respond to that because, yes, I did want her help. As selfish as that was, I still wanted her by my side even though I felt guilty about wanting that. So I followed him without a word.

****

I took a deep breath and pulled the stake out from where it had been tucked into the back of my pants. Shit. I've got to get a holster or something cause wood chafes like a bitch. While I'm thinking about that, there's a loud crash behind the door and I take that as my cue to kick it open. Inside, there was supposed to be this big vamp nest that Buffy and me were going to exterminate tonight. Some of them were supposed to be the same ones that had attacked the party last week. Only problem was, there weren't any vamps inside. Not unless they'd learned how to become invisible or really, really tiny.

Buffy walked up to me, looking around at the empty warehouse. From the shattered glass on the floor and the broken window, I guessed she must have taken the dramatic entrance. "You think the vamp lied?" I asked. Some loser vampire we were going to stake last night tipped us off about this nest. I guess he thought we'd let him go if he spilled something juicy. Boy, was he wrong.

Buffy shrugged, still looking around. "You'd think a last confession would at least be truthful."

"Shows you can't trust 'em worth shit."

She suddenly crouched down and wiped a finger on the ground. "Blood," she stated. "Recent."

"So if they were here, why'd they leave? And the million dollar question, where'd they go?"

"Where else would a bunch of vampires go?" She stood up again with a thoughtful expression. "They'd want to go where the food is." Then a sickened look crossed her face and I wondered what she was thinking. "Faith, the dance is tonight."

It was like all the air suddenly whooshed out of my lungs. The dance? It was just some stupid school event. I'd heard Casey talking about it all week. She'd been so excited cause T had asked her to be his date and she'd dragged me everywhere looking for the perfect dress. "They can't be at that dance," I said, my stomach churning into a knot. "It's just some stupid lame high school thing. How would they even know about it?"

Buffy grabbed me by the shoulders and steadied me. "I'm probably wrong but we have to make sure, Faith. We'll call Merrick first. This might be bigger than we know."

I slipped the stake back into my pants. "Let's go."

The whole time we were on our way to the dance, I wanted to scream cause I just wanted to be there already. I didn't want to think about what could happen to T or Casey or Daniel if we didn't get there in time. For once, I was glad for Buffy's awful driving. Worrying about crashing into trees, cars, and people distracted me enough so I wasn't killing myself asking what if? But as soon as we stopped in the school's parking lot, I jumped out and ran to the gym where they were holding the dance. I could hear Buffy right behind me as I crashed through the doors.

The entire room turned to look at us. It was like something out of a painting seeing as how still they were all standing and gawking. And then, as if on cue, everybody began talking, some pointing, some snickering, but all still alive.

I looked at Buffy standing next to me. She gave a relieved smile as she took my hand. Everything was fine and I felt almost high after all the worry. I saw Casey waving at me from across the room with T at her side and I was just about to wave back when the doors behind us crashed open again. Buffy pulled me back further into the room. I heard the doors on the other side of the gym crashing open a few seconds later. Some guy in a leather jacket walked in leading a group of about ten other people. He growled, vamping out.

Looked like we were right after all. Shit. This was one time I wished we were dead wrong. The guys behind leather boy vamped out as screams came from behind us. Buffy let go of my hand and went right up to the leader, punching him across the face. I met the first of the vampires who charged in behind them and it was just a blur of punches and kicks for the next few minutes. After I finally staked the vamp, I took a look around and it was just so fucking crazy. It looked like there were vampires everywhere and people were running and screaming. I tried looking for T and the others but I couldn't make them out in the confusion.

Then I found myself on the ground as something jumped me from behind. I tried bucking and throwing it off my back but it was a dead weight. Worse, it was choking me. Damn, was this how I was going to die? Squeezed to death by an undead blood sucker who jumped me from behind? Just when I thought I was gonna pass out, the hands around my neck suddenly let go and the weight got off my back. Turning around, I looked up and saw T struggling with some vamped out chick so I picked the stake off the ground next to me and plunged it into her heart. The struggling vamp disappeared into a pile of dust and I was left staring into T's shocked face.

"T, try to get these people out of here," I said, hearing the rawness grating on my voice. "Get as many as you can out. Can you handle that for me?"

He blinked a couple of times and then nodded, taking off into the crowd. Looking around again, I ran at one vamp who was so busy feeding on a girl, he probably didn't even feel me stake him from the back. The girl fell to the floor but she wasn't dead or nothing so I helped her back up and pointed her to an open doorway, hoping she'd make it out okay. By this time, there weren't many people left in the gym --- not any alive anyway. I saw Buffy surrounded by a bunch of vamps across the room and was just on my way to help her out when I saw flames shooting up from behind a long overturned table. I went over, grabbed the tablecloth from off the floor and lit it. Vampires weren't supposed to be big fans of fire.

I turned around while the cloth was lighting up praying that Buffy was still holding her own when the circle of vamps opened up a little and I saw Merrick's body lying on the ground next to her. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be Merrick cause Merrick's this tough old coot who I pictured hanging around till he was a hundred and twenty or something. I stood there frozen to the spot hoping that it wasn't what it looked like and it was only when the fire licked at my hand that I snapped out of the shock and realized that Buffy was in serious trouble.

I ran over to the vampire get together and screamed at the top of my lungs cause I wanted to see their ugly faces when they burned. Buffy ducked out of the way as I tossed the now flaming table cloth at the whole bunch of fuckers. I helped Buffy carry Merrick out of the gym as they screamed. As soon as we were out, she locked and barred the doors behind her and ran around to the other side of the building to do the same thing.

Merrick looked so pale and small lying there. The top of his head was covered in blood and slicked his hair down. I tried looking for a pulse but I couldn't find one, not on the wrist or the neck. I put my ear to his chest and I heard nothing. Buffy came back and dropped to her knees next to me.

"He's dead, isn't he?" She asked in a whisper. I looked over at her and she was staring dully down at his body. I couldn't do anything except watch as tears slipped from her eyes. There were sirens in the distance and I could feel other people milling around us but it was like everything was happening through a haze and nothing I saw was real. Someone kneeled down on the other side of me and pulled me into a hug.

"Casey?" She kept holding me as T and Daniel walked up behind her. They were saying something but by now, the sirens were too loud and people were starting to yell again. I looked next to me and saw Buffy being pulled away by her friends. I wanted to say something to stop her but then the gym blew up.

The whole fucking building blew up. Pieces of mortar and brick rained down and flames shot high up into the sky before slowly dying back into a modest roast. I was tossed a couple of feet away along with everyone else and through the dull ringing in my ears and the blurred vision, I saw firetrucks and ambulances and cop cars pulling up. I felt someone lifting me up and pushing me towards one of those ambulances. I tried telling them that I wasn't hurt, that they'd better get their fucking hands off me but they didn't listen. They never listened. They stuck a needle in me cause they said I was hysterical and then I couldn't do anything cause I felt myself getting real tired.

I woke up with a nasty taste in my mouth and my head feeling way too heavy. When I opened my eyes, I saw people in scrubs running around, looking like they were busy. I yanked out the IV someone had stuck in my arm and got up from the bed as carefully as I could. Everything was still woozy when I first got on my feet but after a couple of steps, they started clearing up. Nobody even tried to stop me cause, like I said, they were all too busy. I saw a few familiar faces from the school as I made my way out of the room but not the one I really wanted to see. I was still kinda numb from what had happened. Merrick was dead --- the old guy was dead.

But if I were sad about it, Buffy must be devastated. I remembered the look on her face and all I could think about as I stumbled through the hospital was finding her and helping her. The nurse's station was total chaos with everyone taking calls and shouting instructions. When I finally snagged someone's attention, she told me if Buffy Summers had been admitted, her name wasn't listed which left me wanting to wring her neck. I turned around and nearly wet myself when I saw Mrs. Summers coming through the doors with a frantic look on her face. She spotted me and something like relief washed over her face.

"Faith, oh thank God," she said, rushing up to me and putting a hand on my arm. "All they told me over the phone was that Buffy was here and that the school's gym had burned down. I don't even know what's going on. Do you know if she's all right?"

"She's fine Mrs. Summers," I said, seeing her briefly closing her eyes and smile in relief. "But I can't find her here." I pointed behind me in disgust. "And they don't seem to know anything either."

She got this determined look in her eyes and walked right up to one of the nurses, demanding to know where her daughter was. The nurse looked startled for a moment before quickly looking through the computer and pointing us down the hall to one of the large rooms. As we walked there, I couldn't help but shoot Buffy's mom an admiring glance and say, "You go Mrs. S." She kinda smiled in embarrassment as we walked through the door the nurse had indicated. I spotted Buffy right away, sitting up in one of the beds, looking so lost and sad that it made me ache to put my arms around her.

Mrs. Summers did what I wanted to as she ran over to her daughter and wrapped her into a tight hug. I walked up behind them, feeling like this was a personal moment I shouldn't be watching so I turned my head away to give them a little privacy. The rest of the large room was filled up with beds just like the one I'd woken up on. And on those beds were more kids from the school looking like something out of the "Night of the Living Dead." Some of them were looking over at us and I wondered what they were thinking. Were they thankful that we'd saved them? Did they even know we'd saved them? Fuck. What was the point of saving all their asses if they didn't even know what we'd done? I know Merrick would've pointed out that saving people was all the thanks you needed. But where had that gotten him? He'd died saving these people and nobody but Buffy and me knew what he'd sacrificed.

"Faith?"

I turned angrily back to Buffy and her mom before I remembered it wasn't them I was mad at. Buffy's eyes were bright with unshed tears and her lower lip was quivering. Without thinking, I rushed over and wrapped her up in my arms, holding onto her as tight as I could. Soon, another pair of arms circled around us and I knew it was Mrs. Summers. And sitting there like that, wrapped up in each other's arms, I knew we made for quite a sight but I didn't care cause this was exactly where I needed to be and what I needed to be doing at this exact moment.

Eventually, we disengaged from the big group hug and got Buffy checked out of there. Mrs. Summers asked me something about where my parents were. I told her my 'foster' parents were probably asleep by now. I looked away before I could get the pity look from her. I didn't need that, especially not from someone like her. So we got in her car with me and Buffy in the back seat. In the back of my mind, I wondered where T and them were at but then Buffy moved in close to me, resting her head on my shoulder and wrapping her arms around my waist. I kinda lost my train of thought with her snuggled up so close like that.

"Faith? Would you like to stay over tonight?" Mrs. Summers asked from the driver's seat.

"Uh, yeah. I'd love to Mrs. S." She didn't have to ask twice. She probably asked cause she thought Buffy could use the company of a friend but some part of me kept wanting to think that it was more than that. That she cared about me too. Screwy thoughts, I know but I couldn't get rid of them.

When we got to her house, Mrs. Summers got us some cocoa and we talked about what had happened. I couldn't really tell her what *really* happened so I made up some story about gang members. Adults seemed to eat that kind of shit up. As for the gym blowing up, I couldn't really explain that. I knew there was a fire in there but I would've figured it would've burnt the building down, not blow it up like some action movie stunt finale. Buffy was silent the whole time I was bullshitting and she was silent when we walked up to her room too.

"You all right, B?" I asked, closing the bedroom door behind me. She went and sat down on the bed, her head tilting forward into her hands. "B?"

"I couldn't save him," she brokenly whispered as I took a seat next to her. "He died because I couldn't save him." I tried to interrupt but she just went on. "I wasn't good enough to save my own Watcher. I *saw* that vamp sneaking up behind him but I wasn't fast enough and then he was lying on the ground and I knew I'd let him down." She turned and looked at me, her eyes full of hurt. "What am I going to do Faith?"

My mouth stuttered open but I couldn't say anything. All I could do was pull her into my arms and let her bury her head into my shoulder. I knew there wasn't anything she could do because I knew no matter how hard she wished and no matter how many times she reran the scene through her mind, nothing was going to change the fact that Merrick was dead.

****

It was Wednesday. Three days after the gym exploded and...Merrick died. It still hurt so much to think about it but I found that slaying a whole bunch of vampires every night made me feel better. Not much but it was better than feeling useless and lying on my bed feeling sorry for myself. It had been two days since I found out that my school had expelled me for burning down the gym. My mom had stormed into the Principal's office, demanding to know how they could be such complete morons. Her words, not mine. But when she came out fifteen minutes later, she looked shaken up and looked at me like she didn't even know me. I found out later that some of the students, some of the same people I'd saved had come forward and said they saw me throwing in large gas cannisters and locking the gym doors. I fully admit to locking the doors but I don't know where they came up with the gas cannisters. Was there a mass hallucination I didn't know about? The school decided not to press charges though. I guess I should be thankful for that.

It was also two days ago that I found out my parents were having a divorce. They both sat me down and told me they couldn't be together anymore. That things had been bad for a long time now and that I shouldn't feel like it was my fault that they were splitting up. They told me the only reason they'd been together as long as they had been was because of me. They told me a lot of other things too but I lost track of the explanations. All I knew was that we wouldn't be a family anymore.

It had been just one day since my mom had announced that she was going to move out of LA and that I was going with her. She gave me all these reasons why the move would be good for the both of us but how could it be good when I was going to be taken from everything I'd known, from *everybody* I'd known, from my dad? I hated it and I let her know it before I ran up into my room and slammed the door shut.

And now, today, as if everything else hadn't been enough of a shock, Faith tells me she's moving again.

"I can't help it B. Doris doesn't want me around anymore. She says I'm more trouble than I'm worth so they're shipping me off to the State home until they can stick me with another foster family. I'm just here to say a quick good-bye before I have to go."

I was starting to panic as I grabbed her by the front of her shirt. "You can't go. Faith, how could you just leave me like this?"

A pained look crossed her face and I knew that was the wrong thing to say. "You think I want to? This isn't my decision. Shit, they don't care what I want. They just want me to keep my mouth shut and stay out of trouble, at least till my eighteenth birthday when they can unload me from the system."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that...I don't know what I mean anymore." I pulled her into a hug. "But I know I don't want you to go."

"It's like a band aid, B," she said softly, hugging me to her. "You just have to do it quick." And then she let go and walked out the door without a backward glance. I watched from the door as she got into a car and drove away and I knew exactly what I needed to do.

As soon as mom came home that night, I told her what had happened to Faith. "You can do something mom," I said, watching her carefully for signs that she was catching on to what I was getting at. "Faith doesn't have to be dumped from one uncaring family to another. You can do something about it." She looked at me with a sad expression on her face but I cut her off before she could say anything. "Mom, you like Faith as much as I do and Faith *loves* you. Why can't you adopt her or something? You're moving to get a new start right? Well, Faith needs a new start more than anyone I know. Mom, please..." I employed the puppy dog eyes, looking at her, pleading with her.

I could see all the reasons why she thought she couldn't do it flitting through her eyes as she mulled over it and I thought my heart was going to break as she finally opened her mouth, probably to give me some of those reasons. But instead, she said, "Maybe you're right."

I almost knocked my chair over as I rushed over to hug her. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," I said again and again, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes.

I heard her muttering that it might take time to get through all the red tape but I didn't care. I'd gotten her to say yes and that was the most important step. Faith wouldn't be alone and neither would I. The rest of the week went by in a blur of boxing and packing and saying good-bye to everybody. T had come by one morning with Casey and Daniel and we hung out for a while before they left. It was a welcome break from the hectic pace I'd been going through but it was over far too soon. Before I even knew it, I was in my mom's car, waving good-bye to my dad as we drove away.

Sunnydale. That's where we were going. Maybe mom was right. Maybe this really is my new start.

*end*