*****

The little girl watched as the man she knew as daddy bled.

She thought it wasn't real. It couldn't be real. It was just like the TV shows cause mommy had said everything on TV shows were made up.

That's why she didn't cry when daddy hit the floor. It wasn't real.

The blood wasn't real. The sounds. The people. Her daddy crying. Her daddy never cried. It couldn't be real.

The dream didn't fade so much as stop midstride as I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart hammering in my chest, and a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't a little girl anymore. Mommy didn't rush in and tell me it was all a dream and that it wasn't real. Mommy was dead, just like daddy. But that didn't stop the dream from coming back again and again. Rolling over onto my stomach, I reached for the little travel alarm clock on the floor next to the bed. It read seven but I didn't know if that was late or early in this place. My brand new foster parents hadn't said anything last night, only that today would be my first day at the new school. That was it. They weren't much into talking or laughing or much of anything else that showed they were still human and fully functioning in the emotion department.

I sat up in bed, running a hand through my hair. It wasn't like I could get back to sleep anyway. Not after that. My eyes wandered across the small room. Besides the bed, there wasn't much else. There was a small dresser drawer on the opposite wall with a mirror hanging above it and the door was to the right. The painted white walls had no decoration, no pictures hanging, no marks left over from the other people that must've used this room. It'd probably stay that way after I left here too and someone else would be wondering the same thing about me.

I walked over to the foot of the bed where I'd dumped the duffel bag which held all the clothes and other shit I'd collected through my short life. It wasn't a very varied wardrobe. Mostly just simple tops and pants --- leather, jeans, whatever. As long as it was tight. That was the only requirement. For today, I chose whatever was nearest the top of the pile because I didn't feel like rooting through everything. The first day of school didn't really hold any real meaning for me. It had been the first day for a long time now.

After a shower and a change, I went downstairs to find that breakfast had already begun without me.

"Fifteen minutes," Doris said. Her eyes never left the paper she was reading. She was a thin woman who looked a lot thinner because she was tall too. Her hair was colored a terrible black which screamed bad dye job and it was pulled back into a tight ponytail that looked like it should hurt. Her husband was so plain and white bread that I'd have trouble picking him out of a line up even though he's sitting right across from me at the table.

There were two pancakes left in the skillet and I guessed they were for me. Aside from the noises of people eating and reading, there were no other sounds coming from the table. I wished they'd turn on the TV or the radio or something just for a little background noise cause this was just creepy. As soon as the fifteen minute mark came, Doris got up and motioned for me to do the same. Her husband continued eating and reading as she took the keys to the minivan and made her way to the garage. The ride over was just an extenuation of breakfast. Ten minutes later, we stopped outside of the school and I breathed a silent sigh as I opened the door and took a step out.

"You remember the way back?" Doris pointedly asked, looking at me with those shrewd eyes.

I nodded and closed the door. If I knew the way back, my brain was keeping it a big secret from the rest of me but it was better than admitting that I didn't know jack in front of a woman who so obviously didn't want to drive me back. I looked around the place as Doris drove off. It was just like any other school. You could spot the different cliques right away. The freaks, the geeks, the jocks, the queens --- all primping and posing in one way or another. I began walking towards the front entrance but stopped halfway as something caught my eye. Not something actually but someone.

Blonde, petite, laughing, surrounded by the beautiful people. She was just like a hundred other girls I'd seen but...different somehow. Maybe it was her eyes. They looked sad even as another laugh bubbled out of her mouth. One of the Barbie clones next to her whispered something into her ear and they both laughed as they looked right at me. The rest of the group followed their gaze. One of them opened their mouth and said just loud enough for me to hear, "You don't want to look directly at them. They might take it as a sign to talk to you." Everybody twittered and giggled like parrots, imitating each other before they all walked into the school like those packs of animals you see on nature shows who seem to think and move with one brain.

I only had to stop and ask for directions once before finding my way to the Principal's office. I got tossed a program and the name of a Guidance Counselor I was supposed to be meeting from the secretary before being sent on my merry way. That was probably the least painful experience I'd ever had with that office. The first class listed on the program was on the fifth floor. Social History. Sounded like barrels of fun. Everybody was already seated by the time I walked in and I could hear the whispers flying back and forth already as I explained that I was new to the teacher. I'd done this so many times before and it still sucked each and every time to be studied like some kind of new specimen or an accident on the side of the road.

"Faith Spencer," he said, reading my name off the card. "It's kind of late in the term to be arriving but..." Yeah, as if bitching to me about it will change anything. He finally pointed to an empty seat near the back of the class.

As I sat down, he began to launch into his lesson. It was obvious the guy was just talking by rote. His voice was so monotonous that it sounded like he was reading out of a book that wasn't very interesting to begin with. Reaching into a back pocket, I produced a torn out piece of notebook paper. I reached into my front pocket and came out with a pencil whose tip had broken off. This was just great. Now I can't even doodle to pass the time. As I was staring at the pencil, almost willing it to magically fix itself, someone nudged me gently on the left arm. When I looked up, the blonde from earlier was looking at me and holding out a pen. I took it after hesitating a moment and muttered a "Thanks." Fifteen minutes before, this same girl was laughing at me with her cronies and now she's doing something decent just because? I *knew* she was different.

I listened with half an ear as the teacher kept talking and writing on the board. This stuff had already been covered in the last two schools I'd been to and I remembered it was boring anyway. Writing with the pen, I noticed that it had purple ink. Figures.

I was nearly asleep when the class finally ended. As it was, I just let rip a big yawn and noticed I wasn't the only one. The blonde who was just then getting up, looked over at me and gave me a smirk. So we were just enjoying this Hallmark Card 'I share the pain' moment when I remembered her pen and shoved it at her. Not the smoothest thing I'd ever done but my brain was still on break.

She just shrugged and said, "Keep it," before gathering her cute, little spiral notebook and moving towards the door.

The next class on the program was Chemistry and as if finding the classroom wasn't hard enough, it was also a lab class which meant that everybody in the room was already paired up with a partner. I tried to look like I didn't care when I got dumped on one of those pairs and the two of them looked at me like I had personally wanted to ruin their whole morning. What did I care if they hated me already and it was only 9:15? Tough. I brought out the scrap of notebook paper, already half-filled with mindless drawings and the pen with the purple ink and made myself comfortable on one of those metal stools with no backs, waiting for the clock to tick the minutes away.

Lunch came and went but I didn't even make it to the cafeteria. What was the point when you had no money? To watch other people eat? No fucking thanks. I took the time to go see the Guidance Counselor who was a tall, balding man with square framed glasses. He hooked me up with a locker, books, and a 'welcome to this great school' speech. Nice enough guy as far as counselors were concerned but it looked like the last time he went shopping was about twenty years ago.

The day was more than half over and I congratulated myself since there were no major incidents yet. Of course, I hadn't had gym yet either. This was one of those schools where it was mandatory for you to change into these crappy T-shirts and shorts with what I'm guessing is the the school's logo plastered all over it. And since I had neither, I was banished to the sidelines with everybody else who either couldn't or wouldn't participate. We were four girls altogether, sitting and watching as forty other girls ran around the oval track. Some were huffing and puffing like they had asthma. Some weren't even running so much as walking and bitching about having to run.

"Your name's Faith?"

The question came from the girl sitting next to me. "Yeah, how'd you know?" She was short, a bit on the chunky side, too much make-up trying to hide the cuteness underneath. Her hair was two shades short of being rainbow and looked like it was cut with a hacksaw.

"Same math class."

"Yeah?" Math class? There was a vague memory of a math class.

"Yeah, name's Casey by the way." She looked over at all the girls running the track and blew out a disgusted breath. "Physical education is just another act of sadism forced upon us by an older generation grown fat and hypocritical from the capitalist trough."

I just looked at her, wondering if she was serious or just seriously doped up.

"I'm serious," she said as if reading my mind. And then changing topic all of a sudden, she asked, "So where are you from?"

"All over the place."

She nodded her head in understanding. "Yeah, I know how that is. My dad used to move us at a drop of a hat. I've been from the east coast to the west coast to the Midwest. I've only been here for like a couple of months but it's all right. You just have to know who to hang with."

Different places. Different faces. It didn't matter where I was cause I always ended up hanging with the same types of people. And it wasn't like I went about looking for them. They were like Casey. They just seemed to find me.

"Are you doing anything after this class?" She asked, resting her chin in the palm of her hand and looking at me curiously.

"One more class."

"You wanna ditch it?"

"Yeah, I ran out of paper two classes ago anyway."

She laughed a little too hard, a little too long. But she had a nice smile. "Yeah, you'll definitely fit right in," she said with a grin.

When everybody was red, sweating, and 'bout ready to drop, they finally dismissed the class but not before reminding us that tomorrow was volleyball day. While the rest of the class headed towards the showers, Casey took me by the elbow and walked towards a large squat building off the track. Turned out it was a full sized basketball court, complete with pull out bleacher seats. There were already two guys in there. One of them seated on the bleachers and the other throwing up brick shots.

Casey went right up and sat next to one of them. "Hey, Daniel, T, this is Faith," she said, introducing me. "She's new."

Daniel was the one sitting. He had short, spikey blond hair and piercings on his ears, nose, eyebrows, and I'm betting his tongue too. He gave me a short nod and a once over before giving a soft, "Hey."

T was the one chucking up the ball with an almost embarrassing lack of athletic skill. It either hit the backboard with a loud thud or clanged off the front of the rim. His shaggy, black hair was plastered to his face with sweat and he gave me a goofy grin as he came over. "Hi, can you believe I've only just started playing today?"

Casey rolled her eyes and stage whispered, "Don't believe him. He's just naturally bad."

"Hey," T said with a wounded expression. "Can't a guy *try* to make a good impression without comments from the Peanut Gallery? Anyway, how do you like it here so far, Faith?"

"Can't complain," I said, shrugging one shoulder as I took the ball from him and palmed it. "Kinda hungry though. I missed lunch."

"We can go by McDonald's and get something," Casey suggested.

I coughed a little as I dribbled the ball over to the freethrow line. "I don't have any money," I said, looking over at the three of them. And wasn't that the truth? I didn't have a dime to my name and I hadn't for a while now. It really limited your options.

Casey laughed. "Don't worry about it. T's loaded. He always treats."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," T repeated with his goofy grin. "It's no big deal."

I gave them my first genuine smile of the day and then shot the ball. Nothing but net.

T whistled admiringly. "Hey Faith, mind giving me some pointers on my game?"

"What game?" Casey asked immediately which got her a mock glare from T. They were turning out to be a fun bunch and it didn't hurt that they were going to treat me to some lunch cause I could already hear my stomach growling. Just then, the doors to the gym banged open and a group of girls walked in.

You couldn't really mistake them for anything but cheerleaders. It was either the uniforms or the pompoms that gave them away. They all went quiet when they saw us in there. One of them stepped forward. Tall, tan, and blonde, she announced that, "We have practice in here now so why don't you losers go do your loser things somewhere else?"

Casey got up and fired something verbally insulting back but I wasn't really paying attention. The blonde from this morning was in the group. So she was a cheerleader. That didn't really surprise me either. She looked good in the red and white uniform. Her long, straight hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, revealing an elegantly curved neck. And her eyes...I wanted to know why she looked so sad. I've never wanted to know anything about anyone before but I was curious now.

"Come on Faith. Let's get out of here so the queens can prance around." Casey took my elbow again and led us out. My eyes strayed to the blonde as we passed by the group and I saw that she was looking back at me too. I lost sight of her when we walked out the door. The four of us strolled to the school's parking lot and, aside from Casey who was still spitting fire about cheerleaders and their social hierarchical suppression, the rest of us were quiet. She finally stopped to catch her breath when we got to the car. I shouldn't call it a car cause it really wasn't. It was an SUV. The biggest, blackest, shiniest honking SUV I'd ever seen.

"So T," I asked slowly as I kept staring. "Exactly how loaded are you?"

"My parents try to buy my love," he said with an air of weary acceptance, opening the driver's side door. Daniel placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before walking around to the other side of the vehicle. "I just try to put the money to good use. Come on, I'm starved. Let's go get something to eat."

****

Jessica was missing her cues again. Heather was yelling at her like always. The rest of us were talking about what we were going to do during the weekend. Paul, the star of our basketball team, was supposed to be holding this huge party on Saturday and everybody was talking about how great it was going to be, who was going to be there, who they were going with. I felt a headache already pounding away in my skull just listening to them. Couldn't they ever talk about something else or would that just overload their brains and cause them to go comatose?

"So Buffy," Jenny said, getting my attention. "Are you going to Paul's party or are you going to skip out on us again? You know, if you keep doing that, people will start to talk." She giggled along with everybody else. I knew the only people who would talk about something so ridiculously shallow were the same people standing right in front of me.

I put on my fake smile. The one I'd practiced in front of the mirror and said, "How could I miss this party? It's supposed to be huge, isn't it?"

They all began nodding and agreeing like sheep as they continued discussing the party as if it were a great monumental cultural phenomenon instead of just an excuse for a weekend drinking binge. I could feel the smile slipping from my face and it ached to try and hold it up. When had things changed? I could still remember when I was like them, these friends of mine. When I found the things they were discussing truly interesting and not something that would bore me to tears. Sometimes, I found myself wishing I had the guts to tell them that they were all a bunch of stuck up, spoilt, backstabbing, loathsome excuses for human beings.

Heather huffed her way over and stood with her hands on her hips. She was the captain of the squad and she liked flaunting whatever power she had. Most of the time, she did it by yelling and throwing a tantrum when one of us messed up our cues. Most of the time, Jessica was the one being yelled at cause she was just naturally clumsy. "Since we've wasted so much of our time already..." She looked pointedly at Jessica who looked like she was on the verge of tears. "We'll just have to make it up tomorrow." There were a couple of groans but nobody really questioned her cause nobody wanted to be at the receiving end of one of the Nordic Princess' lectures. She fit her nickname to a T. Not only did she look the part with her Norwegian bloodline but she also acted like one --- aloof, cold, and untouchable.

As the others began filtering out of the gym, I walked over to Jessica. "Are you all right?" I asked softly, not wanting to set her off.

She nodded quickly and sucked in a couple of breaths before answering. "Yeah. I'm fine. It's my own fault...I just can't seem to do the moves right. I practice all the time but it's like...I just can't do them."

"Jess, if you don't like doing it, why don't you quit? Nothing's worth this." I should try taking my own advice sometime.

"No, it's all right," she quickly assured me. "It's not that bad. I think I'll stay and try to do the moves again. Thanks anyway Buffy."

I watched a little while longer as she went mechanically through the motions before turning to leave. After practice, it was just routine for everyone to hang out together. I've been coming up with more and more excuses to get out of that. Today's excuse was a headache. That was true enough but the main reason I wanted to leave was because I couldn't stand to be around them anymore. There were a few smirks as well as a few sympathetic looks as I waved good-bye to them and got into the my car --- the car I'd gotten for my seventeenth birthday. I had been so happy when I saw it in the driveway with a bright red bow on the hood. *This* was freedom. The ability to be by myself whenever I felt like it. The ability to drive off to where ever I felt like driving myself off to.

And right then, I didn't feel like driving home like I'd told everyone I would. Home was about the last place I wanted to be. It was always so empty there even when it wasn't. So I just drove...past familiar streets and familiar houses and familiar people until I couldn't recognize anything anymore and then I drove some more. Somewhere along the way, I'd turned on the radio just to hear something else besides silence around me. It didn't matter what station it was on just as long as there was another voice in the car, even if it were a commercial like it was now.

I would've driven all night if I could but if I did that, I wouldn't hear the end of it from my mom. I turned back and headed to my house. It took a little longer than I thought it would to get back and by the time I stepped through the front door, I was late for dinner.

"Buffy?" My mom called from the dining room.

"Sorry I'm late," I said with an apologetic smile already in place as I walked past her to the kitchen. My parents have always insisted on a sit down dinner so that we could all 'share an open line of communication'. The only trouble was that, lately, my dad's not so open anymore. He rarely shows up for dinner and when he does there's always yelling and shouting and arguments about why he works so late, among other things. Inevitably, I'd get sent off so they could shout louder without the guilt of having me there to witness it. Of course, I could always hear it even from my bedroom. I think you'd be able to hear it from the neighbor's yard if you wanted.

"Were you over at Heather's?" Mom asked as I came in with a plate of meatloaf.

"Yeah," I lied.

"How was school?" She asked.

"Fine," I said, trying to eat as fast as possible so I didn't have to sit here and lie to her anymore. Thankfully, she didn't ask any more questions. Maybe she ran out or maybe she's as tired as I am. She looks it. For the first time in my life, I look over at my mom and she looks old. Of course, I know my mom is old --- she's like forty something, but she seems to have aged so much lately. As soon as my plate was clean, I excused myself from the table and went up to my room. I spent a couple of hours working on my homework in between staring at the loudly blaring TV screen, and taking a shower before going to sleep.

Just like almost every other night, I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of yelling. I listened as my parents' voices rose and fell as they walked through the house, slamming doors and cabinets and closets. They yelled about the same things they always yelled about. How they couldn't stand it here anymore, how unhappy they were, how unhappy they were with each other. I tried to block it all out, clamping my hands over my ears but it never worked cause I could still hear them. And I wanted to shout for them to just shut up.

I took the headphones off the desk next to the bed and turned on the CD player so that I wouldn't have to listen to it anymore. And, just like almost every other night, I laid there, letting the music wash over me and waiting for sleep to find me again. The next time I woke up, it was to my mom, trying to shake me awake.

"Buffy, Buffy. Wake up. You're going to be late again," she said with a hint of exasperation in her tone. I got up and dressed as quickly as I could before going downstairs and snagging a piece of toast for breakfast. Dad wasn't there. No surprise. My parents never talked to me about what was going on. I guess they thought I couldn't handle it or something so mom never once mentions the late night screaming session even though she must know I must've heard them.

We head out the door at the same time and I give her a kiss good-bye before getting into my car and driving off. On the way to school, I pass by this big, black SUV that had to have belonged to T. I've known him since kindergarten, way before popularity meant anything and way before we got separated into our own isolated cliques whose only interactions always ended like it did yesterday. But, on those rare occasions when it's just him and me and nobody else, we revert back to kids. Cause when we were kids, we were the best of friends. Over the years, things just got in the way of that.

I got to my first class a minute before the bell rang and prepared myself, just like I'm sure everyone else did, to a lecture that wouldn't be much more fun than watching paint peel. I looked around and noticed that the new girl, Faith, wasn't there yet. Idly, I wondered why I cared. Mr. Drummond started getting excited or as excited as he ever got and began talking about a project he'd thought up yesterday and everybody started groaning because we all knew what was going to happen now. He was going to split us into groups and give us a ridiculously short time frame in which to finish the project. The only good thing about it was that he didn't do this kind of thing too often but when he did, it kind of ruins whatever plans you might already have made.

The door opened just when he was writing the project questions on the board and in walked Faith. Dressed in a white tank top and tight black pants, she walked right past Mr. Drummond as if he weren't even there and took the seat next to me. Mr. Drummond went back to writing and I snuck a peak at Faith who was taking out a piece of torn out notebook paper and the pen I gave her yesterday. I wondered briefly where she kept the notebook that page came out of when she turned her head and caught me looking at her. She quirked her right eyebrow and a corner of her mouth lifted into a half grin.

I felt myself grinning back before I could clamp down on the almost reflexive response. I looked away trying to concentrate on what the teacher was saying and trying to pretend like nothing had happened. After all, nothing *had* happened. So, she smiled at me and I smiled back. People do that all the time. Only...I don't do that --- not me. Cause, if I had been the same person I was just a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have given her the time of day. But then again, I'm really not that person anymore and I guess I'll have to just sit down one of these days and figure out who I am now.

Mr. Drummond had finished writing on the board and was now addressing the class. As I'd figured, he started splitting everybody up. Into pairs this time.

"So, pair up with the person sitting next to you," he said. "And choose a topic from the board to do your report on. You can take the rest of the class to start working on it. And, if there's nobody sitting next to you, raise your hand."

I looked across at Faith again but she was focused on whatever it was she was drawing on her paper and didn't seem to have heard the announcement so I reached over and tapped her on the arm. She looked up and gave me an expectant look.

"We're supposed to pair up and do this project on the board," I said, hoping I didn't sound as stupid as I thought I did.

She looked up at the blackboard and frowned slightly. "All of them?"

"No," I said quickly. "We're just supposed to pick one."

"All right," she said, turning around fully in her seat so she was facing me. "But before we roll up our sleeves and dive in, I think I'm gonna need to know my partner's name --- just so I don't have to call you Blondie or Hey You from now on." The corner of her lip quirked up again and, like before, I couldn't help but return the grin.

"Buffy Summers," I said. "And before you ask, yes, that *is* really my name and I *do* like it just fine."

Her grin grew wider as she got up and moved her seat closer so that her knee was almost touching my thigh. "Faith Spencer," she said. "And I would never make fun of someone who gave me a pen when I needed it most. With purple ink no less."

"So, uh, which question do you want to work on?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back to work.

She turned her head, reading over the questions listed on the board. "I don't know," she finally said, shrugging her shoulders. "You've been here longer than me. Which one do you think is gonna be easy?"

"They're all pretty much going to suck but...how about the women's movement?"

"Whatever," she said, playing with the edges of my notebook. "It's all the same to me."

Grinning slightly, I asked, "You need another piece of paper or something?"

She chuckled but shook her head. "Nah. I was just thinking that your notebook's real cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah. It's so small and...pink." She laughed again and I decided suddenly that I liked the way she laughed. It was real and it was infectious.

"I'm glad you like it but let's get back to the project. We'll have to do it either today or this weekend since it's due on Monday. Actually, if you're free today, we can just get it over with."

"Yeah, sure, I'm free," she said, even though it looked like she wasn't too sure about that.

"Great. I have practice today but we can meet after that if that's all right with you?"

"No problem."

****

"Hey Faith, over here."

I smiled as I spotted Casey, T, and Daniel already sitting at a table in the cafeteria. "Hey guys," I said, greeting them as I sat down. T pushed across a tray loaded down with food at me. "What's this?"

"Lunch is served. Come on, eat up." He grinned as he started eating a cookie from his own tray.

I mentally shrugged and started eating. If they wanted to fatten me up, I wasn't going to complain. Hanging out with them was really kinda fun. Yesterday, we'd hung out for a couple of hours, not really doing anything specific, just driving around, talking, eating, playing around. They didn't press about my family or life history for which I was glad. I guess we all had our messed up little problems that we didn't want to share with anyone else and we just gave each other our privacy when it came to that.

"So, I was thinking," T said in between sips of milk. "Maybe, after school, we can head over to the arcade. You like games right Faith? We've got to get you to play some StreetFighter. I AM the master but I'll go easy on you, I promise."

"Don't believe him," Casey said, ignoring T's hurt expression. "He's a total monster and a crybaby if he loses."

"First of all," T said, holding up a hand. "I don't lose. And as for the crybaby part, I'm not even going to address such a lie. Come on, back me up here Daniel."

Daniel popped a chip into his mouth and shook his head no.

I watched them argue some more and laughed a little when T tried pulling his pouty face. It looked ridiculous on him and I let him know it. "I'd love to go T but something came up today," I finally said when they'd calmed down some. "I got stuck with this project I've got to do."

"No problem, we can help. Right Casey?"

Casey nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, nobody bullshits a report like I do. What's the topic?"

"Women's Lib or something but the thing is, I have to do it with someone else. Buffy Summers. You guys know her?"

"Are you kidding me?" Casey shouted causing a few heads to turn. She lowered her voice a bit before continuing. "She's a cheerleader. One of the Queens. That group of wannabe prima donnas think they own this whole school and everybody should bow down and kiss their feet, throwing rose petals in their path whenever they pass by."

"She's not that bad," I said. I was surprising myself cause it sounded like I was defending her which I guess I was. But Buffy was different. I'd thought that since the first time I laid eyes on her and that wasn't an exaggeration or anything like in the movies or in books. This was real. "She's all right."

"Yeah, she is," T said speaking up. "I've known her since kindergarten and she's really pretty cool when she's not around those other girls."

Casey still didn't look like she was totally convinced but she shrugged. "I guess. But if you try to convince me that Heather and Jenny are cool too, I'll know that you've been taken over by pod people and I won't hesitate to use lethal force on you."

T laughed at the serious expression Casey had on her face. "No, I think we're still on the same page concerning those two and...speak of the devil." His gaze was on the cafeteria's doors where Heather and her crew were just then making their entrance. And it *was* an entrance. They all walked with a confidence in their step and wore an attitude that screamed 'I'm better than you' like a piece of clothing. I caught a glimpse of Buffy in there and, like the other day, she looked like she fit in perfectly with her crowd. But she didn't. Not really.

Her eyes glanced over our table and, maybe it was just me, but I think her gaze lingered a bit before it moved on. Fuck, I don't even know why it matters if she *does* happen to look this way a little longer. I turned back towards my tray and began taking off that annoying plastic wrap on the sandwich that never wants to come off.

"Oh, hey. You know what?" Casey suddenly asked with a mischievous smile on her face. "You know what we can do tomorrow? You guys heard about the party right?"

"Paul," Daniel supplied. The guy wasn't what you'd call talkative...and I dig that.

"Exactly. Who's up for crashing it?" Casey was nearly hopping up and down in her seat with excitement. "Come on. Come on. It'll be fun."

I looked around the table and everyone was looking at me for some reason. "What?"

"Well," T explained. "We're essentially planning to go somewhere we're not invited or wanted for that matter. Are you up for rude and derogatory remarks aimed behind your back all for the sake of putting a monkeywrench into the system?"

Rude and derogatory remarks. Like I wasn't used to that already. "Sounds fun," I drolly answered, returning my attention back to the sandwich in front of me.

The rest of the day passed real quick, mostly cause I wasn't paying any attention to whatever the teachers were saying. I don't think I remember even one of their names but that's cool cause I don't think they remember mine either. Gym class rolled around and since Casey wasn't going to be using hers, I asked to borrow her uniform. She looked at me like I was crazy or something but I just didn't feel like sitting still for forty-five minutes today. I needed to move and run and sweat and get this fidgety feeling out of my system. So I changed into the too baggy shorts and the too short T-shirt and walked into the gym where they'd already set up volleyball nets.

I waited for the coach as she set us up like chess pieces on either side of the net. I ended up in the front, staring across at some girl who looked like she had more interest in her fingernails than what was going on around her. I felt the grin coming across my face and I wished I had the ball right then. But the ball was behind me. Someone soft-served it, barely making it over the net. The girl across from me slapped it up into the air. It wasn't even on my side yet but it was close enough so I jumped up and pounded that sucker down. It nearly took off the other girl's head before it bounced on the floor.

I watched as the girl across from me stared back. She had this 'I can't believe you fucking did that' expression on her face and I just grinned harder, feeling the adrenaline pumping through my body. Things pretty much went on like that. It didn't take too long before most of my other team mates just started getting out of my way when I went for the ball so that, by the end of class, I was practically playing by myself --- and I was still winning.

I had moved and run and sweated like I needed to and I felt great. Casey came up to me and poked me in the stomach. "Hope you got that out of your system tiger." She smirked. "I don't think anyone's ever going to want to play with you again."

"Gee. And here I thought we were having shiny, happy fun."

"You nearly decapitated half the team and sent the other half scurrying in fear --- not that I'm complaining. It was fun to watch."

"I aim to entertain," I said, winking back at her as I walked to the showers.

After showering, I headed to my last class of the day. Since I had ditched it yesterday, I had to go through the whole process of presenting myself to the teacher and waiting for him to assign me a seat. It was an English class and they were talking about short stories and stuff. It wasn't half bad actually cause the teacher was kinda funny in a drily sarcastic way so by the time the class ended, I was almost wishing it would go on a little longer...almost.

But now that school had officially ended, I was stuck with what to do next. When did Buffy's practice end anyway? And what the hell was I gonna do till it ended? I eventually went to the library and tried to employ a skill of mine which had gone rusty with disuse. I was going to research. My idea of research probably didn't mesh with other people's --- it involved me throwing together a couple of books that looked like they might be useful and, most importantly of all, easy enough to get through and then getting the hell out of there. Libraries always creeped me out. It was probably cause they're always telling you to 'keep it down'. Those three little words pretty much suck the fun out of just about everything.

Once, I got out of the library, I realized that the whole trip took just fifteen minutes of my time so that I'm left with the same question of what to do next, only this time around, I'm loaded down with a couple of extra pounds of books as well. I wandered outside to the back of the school where the track was cause I figured, that way, I could catch some sun and, at the same time, keep an eye on the gym where the cheerleading practice was taking place. There were a couple of other people already sitting on the bleachers when I got there. Some of them were watching the runners on the field. Others were like me, just hanging out there to pass the time.

There was only so much time I could spend watching someone else running around and around a track before I start feeling my head spin. Since I didn't have a watch with me, I'm guessing it was around ten minutes I sat staring.

Attention span? What attention span?

I'd started out sitting on the bleachers but, somewhere along the way, I found myself lying down and staring up into the blue sky. It was nice, just lying there and feeling the soft breeze running across my body. I had slid one of the books under my head and I couldn't have gotten any more comfortable considering where I was but then I heard my name being called. Turning my head to the side, I looked down and saw the coach from gym class standing on the bottom bleacher.

"Spencer," she said again. "What are you doing here?"

I thought that was a stupid obvious question seeing as how I'm laid out here with a book under my head like a pillow but I answered anyway. "Lying down would be my first guess," I said, not even trying to couch the sarcasm.

"I can see that," she said, placing her hands on her hips. "I also saw what you did in my class today and I'm wondering where you've been all my life."

I sat up as she climbed up to where I was. "Uh, thanks?" I wasn't sure where she was going with this. I just hoped she wasn't trying to flirt with me or something. That would be so wrong on so many levels.

"You've got some kind of talent," she continued, sitting next to me. "But since we don't have an official volleyball team at this school, I'd like you to try out for the track team instead."

I looked at her like she'd grown another head but she just looked back at me like she actually expected a decent answer. "I'm not into sports," I finally said, hoping she'd take that as a hint to wrap it up and leave.

"Right. You're more the sleeping on the bleachers type. Come on Spencer. It's not like you've got anything better to do. Just show me what you've got and get me out of your hair."

I went for my last excuse which sounded lame even to me. "I don't have any sweats or anything." She just motioned for me to follow so I grabbed the books and did. What was the big deal? She was right about me not having anything better to do. And I gotta admit, it didn't feel too bad to be wanted for something I was good at. She led me to a storage room where she rooted through a few piles of clothes and tossed me a couple of pairs of T-shirts and shorts.

"Go change and meet me out on the track," she said.

****

We'd just about done every routine twice by the time Heather was finally satisfied enough to call it quits. Jessica had done pretty well too, making only a couple of mistakes here and there. Nothing major. So she was in a nearly jubilant mood as she bounced over and pertly asked, "Hey Buffy. You're coming to the movies with us tonight right?"

Before I could answer, Jenny, who had overheard the question, came over. "Buffy probably has something better to do, don't you Buff? Or did that headache come back again?"

"I'd love to go to the movies Jess," I said, ignoring Jenny. "But I've got this huge project I need to work on."

Jenny chuckled like I'd said the funniest thing. "Oh, is that the excuse you're using now?"

"First of all, it's not an excuse," I said, turning and staring her down. "Second of all, why don't you take your nose and stick it somewhere it's more comfortable. Like up Heather's butt where you usually have it." I didn't mean for it to come out but I meant every word of it. I was just so sick and tired of her bitchy attitude.

Jenny huffed and her lips pressed down into a thin line but she didn't say anything as she walked past me and out the door. Everybody else followed her, including Heather who gave me a cold stare and Jessica who wouldn't even look at me. I stood there for a minute longer, wondering what I'd gotten myself into. I could probably convince them it was the stress talking but, right now, I didn't feel like I *had* to explain anything and it felt good that it didn't bother me.

Practice was over. Maybe in more ways than one. I looked around at the empty gym and wondered where Faith was. We'd just agreed that we would meet after my practice but she'd never said where she would be. Finally walking outside, I looked around again but the only people I saw were the runners on the track field. I had absolutely no idea where Faith could be, if she was looking for me, or even if she remembered we were supposed to meet so I went and sat down at one of the bleachers, deciding it was best to wait a little while just to give her a chance to show.

I had just sat down and was turning my head around in the classic 'waiting for someone' posture when one of the runners jogged off the track and headed my way. I wasn't really paying attention until she stopped right in front of me. I looked up and saw a familiar face smirking down at me. "Faith?"

"Yeah, who else were you expecting?" Her hair was damp and some loose tendrils were hanging in her face. She was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and breathing faster than normal. All in all, she still looked good.

I got up and smirked. "When did you join the track team?"

"A couple hours ago. So you ready to go?"

"Yeah, but let me get my clothes from my locker first."

She looked me over, assessing me, her eyes running up and down. "Sure you want to do that? The uniform looks good on you." I wasn't sure what to say and after a second she just shrugged. "Come on then. Let's go. I gotta shower anyway."

As we walked towards the locker room, I kept wondering what she'd meant and what that look had meant. It wasn't like I hadn't heard stuff like that a hundred times already and seen it even more times but that kind of stuff usually came from guys. Faith wasn't a guy. I looked at her out of the corner of my eye and watched as she absently ran a hand through her hair. No, she definitely wasn't a guy. I could just have been making more out of it than it was --- yeah, that was definitely it.

And anyway, it hadn't been like all the other times when there was always a leer accompanying the comment or just the naked look standing unadorned. This...this was more of an honest utterance, kind of like when I told Jenny off. Kind of.

As soon as we walked through the doors of the locker room, Faith immediately began undressing, taking off her top and heading towards the showers. "I'll wait for you in the parking lot," I yelled at her back. The girl wasn't shy, that much was for sure. Going over to my locker, I changed out of my uniform before stuffing it into a pack and leaving for the parking lot. If I'd left five minutes later, maybe I could've avoided Heather and her group but as it was, I ran right into them.

They all more or less gave me the cold shoulder and a few nasty looks on the side. Unlocking the trunk of the car, I threw in my pack and as I slammed the top down, Heather came over with a serious expression plastered across her face. We stood looking at each other, holding out to see who would make the first move. Heather finally blew out a soft breath as she tried to pin me down with one of her patented Ice Queen stares. "You did it this time Buffy," she said, shaking her head sadly. "I don't know how you'll be able to repair the damage and that's not to mention the damage that's been done to the morale of the squad."

I would've laughed if I weren't so indignant. "The morale of the squad? Heather, I don't think even *you* can pin the entire morale of the squad on me but since you did, I'll tell you this --- it doesn't help 'morale' when you try holding your little power trip over all of us and it doesn't help 'morale' when you spend half of the squad's practice time yelling at Jessica in front of everyone so if we're done talking about 'morale', I'll let you get back to holding court and you can let me get back to my business if that's all right with you."

Heather gave me about the nastiest look I'd ever gotten in my life before spinning on her heels and walking back to the other girls who were still milling around in a loose group a couple of feet away. If I had ever entertained any hopes that we could have kissed and made up, that speech about blew that hope out of the water. But I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel sorry, or regretful, or happy, or anything but empty all of a sudden. Like the anger I'd just let loose had drawn all of my emotions away along with it.

Then I felt someone's hand on my shoulder and I looked up to find Faith, fresh from the shower, looking at me with a concerned expression on her face. Her hair was still damp and she had a small duffel bag thrown over her shoulder with the school's logo emblazoned on its side. "Are you all right?" She asked, briefly looking past me to the group.

"You saw what happened?"

In response, the corner of her lip quirked up and all she said was, "That was some speech." She walked over to the passenger side of the car and waited patiently for me to unlock the doors.

We'd already decided that we would work on the project at my house so I started driving there. Some new pop song was playing softly on the radio but aside from that, we were both quiet the whole way through the ride. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence and I kind of liked the fact that we didn't need to search for something to talk about just to have something to talk about. But she was looking kinda pale when we got to the house and I just hoped she wasn't coming down with anything. Mom wasn't there yet so I just got us a couple of sodas and settled down in the living room.

Faith opened up her bag and took out a couple of books. "I thought these might help," she said as she placed them on the table.

I smiled, picking one up. "This is great," I stated. "Look, it even has 'Woman' in the title. That's a big check in the good column."

"See, that's why this project is going to be no problem at all cause that's exactly what I said when I picked up that book. We're totally on the same wavelength, B."

She had such a huge smile on her face that I couldn't help but laugh along. "Did you just give me a nickname Faith?" I asked, nudging her with my elbow.

She assumed a thoughtful expression as if she was seriously thinking about it and then looked me straight in the eyes, saying with a totally straight face, "Yeah, I guess I did. Now that I've known you for a grand total of what, two whole days, I feel comfortable enough to nickname you. I could've called you Little Buddy but I find that demeaning and less endearing than B."

I tried keeping the grin off my face as we sat there staring at each other, waiting for the other to break but I couldn't keep it up for more than a minute before a laugh bubbled out of my mouth which finally cracked Faith up too.

"Little Buddy?" I choked out in between a fresh wave of giggles. "Who do you think I am? Gilligan?" That made her laugh harder and I wondered if she was picturing me in a white fisherman's cap and red sweater.

We eventually got down to working but as soon as we did, mom came home and walked into the room.

"Hey mom."

"Hi, honey."

"This is Faith," I said as an introduction. "We're working on a project for school together."

"Hi Mrs. Summers. It's good to meet you," Faith said standing up to greet her with a wide smile on her face.

Mom seemed to like her right away. It was probably cause Faith laid that charming, toothy smile on her. But whatever it was, mom invited her to stay for dinner. We had chicken and I hid a smirk behind my drumstick when Faith gushed about how good it was. Mom seemed to appreciate the compliment though so that by the end of dinner, I think they totally fell in love with each other. It was really kind of a sweet thing to see when Faith offered to do the dishes. I thought mom was going to tear up there for a second. I shouldn't really complain though cause it was about the best night that I could remember having for a long time --- and all because of Faith. Before we left to go work in my room, mom actually made Faith promise that she'd come over for dinner again.

"You've got a real cool mom, B," she said as soon as the door closed behind us. I grinned at the use of the nickname. Now that I think about it, nobody's ever called me by a nickname before.

"I think my mom likes you too, Faith," I said, flopping down on my bed. "I don't think I've ever seen her like this with any of my other friends." I watched her as she walked around the room, looking at all my knick knacks. She lingered near a shelf where I had a couple of photographs of my family and a couple of me in the cheerleading squad before moving back over to sit at the head of my bed.

"Who's this?" She asked, picking up the stuffed pig off my pillow and bringing it to eye level to stare into its black button eyes.

"That," I said, moving over to sit next to her, "is my best friend in the whole, wide world. Mr. Gordo, Faith. Faith, Mr. Gordo," I said, introducing them.

Not missing a beat, she continued looking into Mr. Gordo's eyes and solemnly said, "Very nice to meet you, Mr. Gordo." And as I watched her, watching my pig, the thought crossed my mind that it was the just about the cutest display I'd ever seen. I shook the thought off immediately and wondered where these weird thoughts were coming from. First at the track and now here. Faith turned her head and caught me watching her. She had this unreadable expression on her face and I suddenly wanted to know what she was thinking.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, still looking into her eyes which I'd noticed were impossibly large and brown.

She opened her mouth but closed it just as quickly. Without saying anything, she got off the bed and went to get the books. "You think we'll finish this tonight?" She asked, her back turned towards me.

I mentally shook myself again and forced my mind back onto the project even though I kept sneaking looks at Faith throughout the rest of the night when I thought she wasn't looking. I didn't even know why I did it except that I was confused and I knew that the confusion was because of her. And since I couldn't really concentrate fully on the work, it wasn't till around 11:00 that we finally finished. I rose up and stretched as soon as it was done. "Finally," I said. "I thought it would never get done."

"Like I said, no worries," Faith said with a cocky grin.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, slumping down next to her and yawning. "You're a modern day prophet."

"Just call me Mohammed," she said getting up and collecting the books to throw them into her duffel bag.

"Where are you going?"

She was standing there, holding her bag in her hand. "Home," she said, shrugging.

"It's 11:00, Faith. Why don't you just sleep over and go home in the morning? You can call your folks on the phone if you want."

She looked so unsure standing there that I got up and took the bag from out of her hand. "I'll give you a ride in the morning, okay?"

*****