*****

They stepped back to view their handy work. It was finally done after a morning of hard work. The Christmas tree looked magnificent standing in the corner of the magic shop. The lights were strung, ornaments were hung, all except one important thing: the star at the top of the tree.

�I want to put the star!� Anya declared.

�Anya!� Xander said sharply. �We talked about this.�

�No, you can�t.� Willow objected. �Giles should put it on. It�s his tree and his shop.�

�Actually, I think Buffy should put it on. It�s her idea after all.� Giles said, looking at Buffy who was staring at the tree intently. �Buffy?�

The rest fell silent, only now noticing Buffy�s quietness. Willow glanced at her and quietly left with Tara, Xander and Anya, who for once did not protest. Giles flashed a grateful smile their way and waited till the door closed behind them. He said nothing, knowing Buffy would speak up when ready.

�I never got to decorate the tree with mom last year. I was too busy. I don�t know with what. I should have made time for it. I should have spent more time with her. Giles,� Buffy turned to face him, tears streaking down her face silently. �Why didn�t I take the time to do it?�

Giles stepped closer and pulled her into his embrace, letting her cry. �You can�t blame yourself, Buffy. All you can do now is spend time with her. Treasure the moments. I�m sure she�ll get well soon. Just try to be there for her.�

Buffy stayed in his embrace for a while longer before letting go. �Have I ever told you I love you?�

�I know.� Giles said, smiling. He walked over to the star laying in its box and picked it up. �Do you want to put this on?� he said, handing the star to Buffy.

�You should do it.�

�I�ve heard that if you put the star at the top of the tree and make a wish, it will come true.�

Buffy hesitated but at his encouraging smile, took the star and put it at the top of the Christmas tree, making a wish. Then she stepped back and Giles switched on the power to the lights strung on the tree. They both watched silently for a moment.

�Thank you for everything, Giles.�

�You�re welcome. Now, isn�t there somewhere you need to be?�

Buffy nodded and gave him a hug before moving to take her things. At the door, she stopped and looked back. �Thanks, Giles. I won�t know what to do without you.� She left, closing the door behind her with a smile and a lighter heart.

���������������

Night had fallen and Buffy had just left. Giles was relaxing in his chair, reading the newspaper for any signs of suspicious activities, a plate of gingerbread cookies and a cup of tea at his side. He was getting up to make another pot of tea when there was a knock on the door. He put down his teacup and hurried to the door, wondering if Buffy had forgotten something.

�Buffy, did you�?� He trailed off when he saw who it was.

Angel stood outside. In his left hand, he held a potted bonsai plant and under his right arm were a few shiny parcels. He looked up from the floor when the door opened.

�Giles.� He said by way of greeting.

�Angel. What�s this about?�

�May I?�

Giles stepped aside and moved to get his tea. He stopped when Angel called out to him.

�I can�t come in unless you invite me.�

Giles turned to face Angel who was still at the door, making no move to come in. �I never did revoke the invitation after you left the last time.�

Angel was stunned. He had not expected that. Still half believing, he took a tentative step in and found no barrier. He looked at Giles who was already walking into the kitchen.

�Can I get you some blood?�

�That would be appreciated,� Angel said as he moved to put the presents on the table. He looked around, taking in the scene. There was a small Christmas tree with brightly wrapped presents underneath it near the lighted fireplace. The room was decorated with colorful paper-chains strung around the stairs and walls. There was even mistletoe hanging over the kitchen doorway. All in all, the place had a festive and warm look.

�What brings you here?� Giles asked as he gave Angel his cup of blood, before moving to sit down with his tea.

�Cordelia and Wesley wanted to bring you presents for Christmas and I told them I would make the trip.� Angel nodded at the boxes and bonsai on the table. �Those wrapped in reindeer paper are from Cordelia, those in little snow houses are from Wesley and the long box and bonsai are from me.� He looked at Giles, gauging his reactions. �You used to like bonsai.�

Giles said nothing for a moment, before getting up from his seat and going upstairs to the loft. Angel was worried he had said the wrong things and was getting up to go after him when Giles came down with two shopping bags filled with presents.

�These are for Cordelia, Wesley and you. They�re all labeled. I wanted to bring them down to you myself later, but since you�re here�� he trailed off and handed them to Angel.

Angel didn�t know what to say. He had not expected Giles to give him presents. The last time he was here, Giles could not even look him in the eyes and though they had spoken a few times over the phone since then, it was always demon-related. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing would come out. Finally, he followed Giles to the sofa and sat down, both of them staring into the fire.

�I�m sorry.� Angel said at last, still looking at the dancing flames. It seemed the appropriate thing to say, being Christmas and all, although Christmas was still a few days away. �For everything.�

�What�s there to be sorry for? It�s all done. Nothing can change what happened.� Giles said wearily.

�Can you forgive me?� Angel asked hesitatingly.

For a long time, there was no reply. Then Giles leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes. �You were forgiven a long time ago.� He said quietly. �I would have revoke the invitation if I had not.�

�I--� Angel began.

�More blood?� Giles asked. Not waiting for an answer, he got up and moved to the kitchen to refill the drinks.

�Do you want me to leave?� Angel said quietly.

Giles stopped in his track. The words hung between them for a long time.

�As you wish,� Giles finally said without looking back and continued on his task.

Angel followed him to the kitchen and leant against the entrance, watching Giles as he busied about the kitchen. He looked good, dressed in a silk black shirt, dark pants and a small gold hoop earring in his left ear. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top few buttons, revealing just a tantalizing glimpse of his chest.

He looked exactly the way he remembered him.

�Do you mind?� Giles said, breaking Angel�s memories of the past.

�What?�

�You�re blocking the way to the living room.�

Angel started to move aside but was then seized by a sudden impulse. He glanced up at the mistletoe and then at Giles. Giles followed his gaze and shook his head when he saw what it was that had caught Angel�s attention.

�No.� He protested. �That was just something the children put up for fun.�

Angel leant in closer to Giles, trapping him in the circle of his arms. �Look me in the eyes and tell me you don�t want to.� Angel whispered huskily in Giles�s face, gazing at him intently.

Giles looked away. The problem was that he did want to. All those feelings he thought he had suppressed rose up with a vengeance at the feel of Angel�s arms encircling him, holding him in his embrace.

He felt Angel�s hand gently turning his face towards him and found himself looking into eyes he had known so well so long ago, eyes that were dark with passion and love.

�For old time�s sake?� Angel said softly, one hand still gently holding his ex-lover�s face.

When there was no reply, he moved in closer, touching the other man�s lips gently at first, and then, with a passion he could no longer hold back at the feel of the familiar lips against his. When he felt Giles responding, parting his lips to let him in, he felt a strong surge of joy coursing through him, and a warm feeling washing over him, filling up an empty place in his soul that he had not even realized was there. He pressed in closer, feeling the warm, lean body against him, and his left hand snaked tighter around Giles�s waist, pulling him closer against him. His right hand moved to undo the buttons on Giles�s shirt, but he was pushed away.

Giles walked over to the desk, adjusting his skewed glasses, shoulders tight with tension and trying desperately to remain calm. �I think you�d better leave now.�

�Rupert--�

�Don�t!� Giles interrupted. �What we did just now was a mistake. It shouldn�t have happened.�

�No, it wasn�t! I wanted it and you wanted it. You still love me.�

�That was a long time ago. Besides,� Giles took a deep breath, trying to sort out his raging feelings and bring it under control. �It was over before we left England.�

�You were the one who broke it off, not me. I never did agree to it.�

Giles whirled around at that. �Don�t you try to blame it on me! You never stopped me. Besides, you moved on. You fell in love with Buffy.�

�And you had Jenny.� Angel retorted. He calmed himself and studied the figure before him. � I did love her�but you were my one true love.�

�You lost your soul because of her!�

Angel shook his head. �I don�t deny it but it�s not what you think. I was always afraid that what happened between us was all a dream. And then, you broke up with me. You refused to talk to me, pretended we�d never met when I saw you again in Sunnydale. I was hurt at the way you behaved�and for a time, she brought joy to my life, giving me a glimpse of what we used to have.�

�Are you blaming me then?� Giles demanded, fury in his eyes.

�No, I blame myself.� Angel took moved closer to Giles, stopping when he moved back. �Rupert, please, can�t you find it in your heart to grant me this wish? Is it so hard?�

�What happened between us was over a long time ago.� Giles repeated, eyes focused on the table, his hands playing with the small crystal paperweight on the desk.

�Who are you lying to, yourself or me? If it�s to me, it won�t work. You wouldn�t have let me kiss you if it was truly over between us.�

�I�m not lying.� Giles said, though he knew he was. He just could not admit it. The times they spent together were the most unforgettable period in his life, no matter how hard he had tried to bury it.

Angel moved to his former lover�s side and placed his hands firmly on Giles�s arm, turning him to face him, not letting go even when Giles struggled against him. �Don�t lie to yourself, Rupert. I let you do that for four years and I won�t let you continue doing so.�

�Let me go.�

�If you really want me to let you go, you would have gotten free by now. What are you afraid of?� Angel said softly.

Giles looked Angel in the eyes, wondering if he dared to voice his fears. �You.�

Angel was startled.

�I�ve never loved anyone like I did you. My love for you frightens me. I was almost to the point where I couldn�t live without you. And that horrified me. I have a duty�a destiny and I couldn�t ignore that. It would have been impossible to carry on our relationship when I had to train a new Slayer. What would she have thought when I told her to kill vampires and yet my lover was one? It was a choice between you and my destiny. I had to choose the later.� Giles said brokenly. �I had to.�

�You should have told me.�

�How could I? You would have persuaded me not to go!� Giles cried, letting his pent up feelings burst forth. It had been hard watching his lover having a relationship with his Slayer, harder still when he could not show his true feelings.

Angel let Giles cry, holding the shaking body against him, not speaking, just holding on tightly to him. He would have never guessed the reason why he left. He remembered being angry with him when he left abruptly and hurt at the way Giles had behaved when he met him again. He had started to see Buffy to get back at him but had then fallen in love with her, though it was not like the love he had for Rupert. Nothing could ever come close to that.

�Let�s start over.�

�What?� Giles looked up at Angel.

�Let�s start over, you and I.�

�We can�t.�

�Give me one good reason why.�

�Buffy--� he was stopped when Angel placed a hand over his mouth.

�You couldn�t always be thinking of others. Put yourself first for once.� Giles started to protest but was silenced by a kiss. �Besides,� Angel continued when Giles seemed to be listening, �she doesn�t need to know about this. I could come over once in a while and you could visit me. Then, there�s the phone. No one would know until you�re ready to let them.� Angel said desperately, eager to persuade Giles to give them a second chance.

After a long moment of silence, which to Angel seemed the longest and most important moment of his life, one that would determine his future happiness, Giles finally nodded his head. Angel felt as if a large part of him was finally healed. A part of him had been torn apart when Giles had left, and now, they were finally back together.

They kissed again with the fervor of those who had been long denied something and finally gaining it, running their hands over each other. When they finally separated, they moved to the bedroom, holding on to each other�s hands.

When they finally reached the room, Angel slowly unbuttoned Giles�s shirt, kissing him at the same time. When it was finally unbuttoned, he slid it from his lover�s body and moved apart to look at him. Giles looked so handsome, standing there, the soft moonlight highlighting his half-naked form. Giles seemed nervous for some reason and Angel smiled reassuringly, wondering what he was nervous about. Then, his eyes fell on the scar just above the heart and guilt washed over him. Angelus had done that and he knew there were more scars on his back and other less visible injuries.

�I�m sorry. I don�t know how you could ever forgive me.� Angel said, turning away, unable to face his love.

Giles pulled Angel into his arms, and held him tightly. �I don�t blame you.� He whispered fiercely, trying to make his love believe him. �You had no control over it.�

�It was still my fault.�

�We all make mistakes,� Giles said tenderly.

Angel looked into his love�s eyes, searching for a hint of blame and finding nothing but love. He wondered what he had done to deserve this second chance and promised himself that he would treasure each moment and never let go as long as Rupert would let him.

�Besides,� Giles smiled, �at least you won�t be in danger of losing your soul.�

They looked at each other and then, suddenly, they laughed and the tension was broken.

That night, they made love, letting their emotions have free rein, and at the height of their passion, Angel knew that it was true; he won�t be in danger of losing his soul as he would never truly forgive himself for all the hurt he had caused his one true love.

���������������

Giles woke the next morning feeling rested and at peace with the world. Memories of the previous night brought a smile to his face. The curtains were closed and yet, there was no sign of his lover. The house was filled with the tantalizing aroma of food. Then, he heard footsteps on the stairs and Angel soon appeared, carrying a tray of food. He sat up and leaned against the headboard, watching his lover carefully sitting down on the bed and settling the tray on the bed.

�Breakfast.� Angel announced with a smile.

�Why, thank you.� Giles said laughingly and took in the food on the tray. There was fruitcake, a pot of steaming tea, jelly doughnuts, omelette and a few other pastries. He looked at Angel. �If I remembered correctly, your cookery is excellent but your skills in making tea leave something to be desired.�

�Hey, I�ve improved over the years. Besides, I watched Wesley when he was making tea.�

Giles snorted. �You watched me for years and could never make a decent cup of tea.�

�Try it.� Angel urged. �You might be surprised.�

Giles took a sip and grimaced. �I�m surprised alright. I didn�t think it could taste this bad.�

Angel�s face fell. He had really thought that he had got it right.

�Shall I teach you?� Giles said with a mischievous smile. �We could have fun.�

Angel nodded with a grin and settled back to watch Giles eat. It had been a long time since he had done it. He had always enjoyed making breakfast for Rupert. A thought struck him then and he smiled.

Giles noticed it and couldn�t help asking. �What are you smiling about?�

�I was thinking how lucky I am to have you when others couldn�t.�

�Others?� Giles asked questioningly.

�Wesley--�

�Wesley?� Giles almost dropped his fruitcake.

Angel nodded. �Amongst others. He let it slipped once when he was drunk. I thought of throttling him but then decided it would be too much trouble. Besides,� Angel smiled, �I knew he didn�t stand a chance.�

�So sure of yourself are you?� Giles asked teasingly.

�I know you.�

�Show me then,� Giles challenged.

�Gladly.�

The food was laid aside and forgotten as they showed each other just how well they knew each other. It was late afternoon before they emerged from the room, laughing as they raced down the stairs to the shower. Outside, there was the sound of birds chirping and children playing. Nothing registered in their mind though, except each other�s presence. They would remember this Christmas forever, for Santa had given them an early Christmas present by granting them both their deepest and fondest wish.

~~The End~~