*****

"Come on, Xand, he's totally checking you out." Jack smiled at his buddy, who seemed completely oblivious to the signals that dark blonde had been sending towards Xander every night for the last two weeks.

"I told you, he's checking you out, not me." Xander replied, a small smile creeping across his face as he cleaned the last of the glasses at the all male strip club he was working at. He had meant to see America on his road trip, but as soon as the engine literally fell out of his car, this gay strip club was the only place hiring. "Although, he's sort of cute, I guess."

"Sort of? The guy is an Adonis, dude. Go talk to him, I'll cover you." Jack nudged Xander, giving him a small wink.

"Ok, ok, I'll go talk to him! If only to get you off my back!" Xander laughed, throwing the towel over his shoulder.

Walking over to the stranger's table, the man looked up and smiled at the approaching bartender. "Hi"

Xander smiled, and said hey in response. "Sorry, I don't normally do this, but do you want to get a drink sometime? Maybe when my shift ends?"

"Sure, I'd like that. When does your shift end?" The stranger asked, a small smile playing at the edge of his lips.

"Give me half a hour, ok? I'll see if I can get someone to cover me." With a small wink, Xander walked back to the bar, making sure he gave his object of his lust a good show of his ass.

"Jack, can you--?"

"I'll cover you. You go get some, tiger." Jack winked.

"Thanks, J." Within seconds, Xander was back at the dark blonde man's table. "Ready to go?"

"Sure. Sorry, by the way, my name's Graham." Graham offered his hand in an introductory handshake.

"Xander." Xander shook Graham's hand, tingles going down his spine at the feel of the masculine hand that covered his.

"Xander.I like that. Very original. Very you." Graham smiled, averting his eyes from Xander's, not sure if he had said too much for two men who had just met.

"Graham.very, um, masculine." A small laugh escaped Xander's lips. "Sorry."

Graham picked up his leather jacket, and walked with Xander to the door. "Its ok. Graham's not that original."

"Well, I like it. It suits you."

Together, they walked out of the strip club, Xander looking back and grinning at Jack.

"Well, I had an affair with my best friend who was dating one of my good friends. At the time I was dating the head cheerleader, your All-American male fantasy. So, we were smooching and guess who walks in?"

"The cheerleader and your good friend?" Graham guessed, as he sank his third bottle of beer.

"Got it in one." Xander smiled, slowly inching closer to Graham as they sat together in their private booth at a local bar. "So what about you? You know all about me, so Mr. Graham Miller, tell me about you."

"Not a lot to tell, really. I'm part of the military, have been since I was 18. Tomorrow I go back, my leave is up." Graham sat, watching Xander's reaction to the news that he wouldn't be around after tonight.

"Wow, so I'll never see you again after tonight? Gotta say I don't like that piece of news." Xander's smile disappeared, only to reappear after Graham initiated their first kiss, a soft, gentle kiss. One of those kisses Xander had only experienced once before, and the last time it had meant 'I love you'.

"Wow, that was.intense." Graham panted, his breath taken away by that one kiss.

Xander was also panting, his cheeks flushed. "You don't have to tell me." Xander silently took Graham's hand into his own, giving it a small squeeze. "Maybe we should take this somewhere quieter?"

Graham's only reply was a repeat performance of their first mind-blowing kiss.

In a flurry of cloth and limbs, all clothes were discarded the second Graham closed the door of their motel room for the night. Kisses were stolen as quickly and as much as possible before they found their way to the bed.

"Ooh, Graham" Xander murmured, as Graham gently placed Xander on the bed, his head resting on several pillows.

Graham traced Xander's nipples with his tongue, gently biting them, congratulating himself when Xander's erect cock poked his thigh. Working his way down Xander's body, Graham licked and nibbled every square inch of Xander's flesh, knowing he wouldn't see it again, which filled him with more sadness that it should have.

"Graham.need you inside me.need to feel you." Xander surprised himself by managing to get his desires out of his mouth in some way that remotely resembled English.

"Baby, call me Gray, ok?" Graham looked frantic as he left the bed, and began searching through his clothes. "Oh, thank God. I found one." Graham grinned as he held up a condom packet.

Xander laughed out loud at the goofy look on his lover's face. "So, now you're ready to fuck me, right, soldier?"

Graham laughed, and mock saluted. "Sir yes Sir!" Graham couldn't wait any longer, and knelt between Xander's legs.

"Gotta say, I love having a trained marine." Xander grinned up to Graham, lifting his legs to allow Graham access.

"Is this your first time, baby?"

Xander nodded, his emotions overcome at the term of endearment, and the fact that Graham cared whether or not this was his first time with a guy.

Giving Xander one last smile, Graham buried his tongue in Xander's ass, pleased when Xander bucked back onto his tongue.

"Oh shit, Gray.that feels so good.fuck.hey.where'd you go?" Xander moaned the last part, disappointed when Graham removed his tongue.

"Don't worry, baby." Graham ran his hand along Xander's stomach, feeling the hard muscles underneath.

"Good thing I've got some lube too." Graham grinned, slipping his tongue into Xander's mouth.

As he kissed Xander, Graham inserted his lube-covered finger into his new lover's hole, deepening the kiss when he felt Xander lose control. "Oh god, Gray.feels so good.shit." Xander's words became an endless babble, his eyes dilating. Those words became screams of pleasure as Graham entered two more fingers, working those fingers around, trying to stretch Xander's ass as much as possible.

Satisfied that Xander was prepared enough, Graham broke the kiss and removed his fingers from Xander's ass.

"Hey! I was enjoying that!" Xander complained half heartedly through pants, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, if you enjoyed that, you're going to love this." Graham chuckled as he placed his cock at the entrance to Xander's ass. "This'll hurt at first, ok baby? Just breathe, and you'll be great."

Xander nodded. "I need you in me, Gray. Fuck me."

With one last kiss, Graham pushed into Xander, wincing as he saw Xander bite his lip in pain. Graham stopped, not even half way inside Xander. "Keep on breathing, I promise it'll feel better." Again, Xander nodded, silently giving his lover permission to continue.

Graham pushed again, watching his cock disappear into Xander, the sight turning him on even more.

Xander's yells indicated to Graham that whatever Xander was feeling, it went way past pain, and high up on the Pleasure-O-Meter. "Fuck, Gray, fuck me! Make me cum!"

Graham increased his thrusting, taking Xander's painfully hard cock in his hand and pumping it in time with his thrusts.

Together, they came, both of them crying out the other's name. Xander's cum landing on Graham's chest. Graham chuckled, and carefully pulled out of Xander, flinging the used condom towards the nearest waste basket.

With his head resting on Xander's chest, Graham quickly fell asleep, Xander following minutes later.

A few hours later, Graham has dressed, and about to walk out the door, and out of Xander's life forever. Opening the door, Graham put one step out, before turning around, and silently walked back to the bed, and placed a kiss on Xander's forehead.

"Goodbye."

And Graham walked out, his emotions in turmoil.

***7 months later***

A confused, and bleary eyed Riley knocked on Xander's back door, not wanting to deal with his boyfriend's parents today.

Xander opened the door, immediately pulling Riley into a hug the second he saw the tears forming around his boyfriend's eyes. "God, Riley, what's wrong, baby?"

Xander took his boyfriend's hand, leading him into his basement. "She.she's." Riley murmured, his voice racked with sobs.

Xander sat on the bed, tugging Riley down next to him. Xander's heart broke as Riley's crying intensified. "Baby, tell me what's wrong. I can't help if you don't tell me."

Riley rested his head on Xander's shoulder, sobs racking his body. "Maggie.she's..she's dead."

Xander sighed, hugging Riley even closer. "God, Riley, I'm so sorry. What can I do?" Xander ran his hand through Riley's hair, a habit that gave comfort to them both.

"Just hold me."

Xander held Riley, brushing away his tears.

After a few minutes, Riley's crying subsided. "I don't want to push you, baby, but Buffy called earlier. There's a Scooby meeting.but if you're not up for it, we can stay here." Xander's hand's brushed Riley's hair away from his eyes.

"No.no.we should go. anyway, I need to keep busy, y'know?" Riley looked into Xander's eyes, and saw the love and fear for his own well being nestled in there. Moving his head every so slowly, Riley placed his lips upon Xander's, his tongue gently requesting access to Xander's mouth. Xander lovingly complied, massaging Riley's tongue with his own.

Breaking the kiss, Riley stood, still holding onto Xander's hand. "If we keep doing that, we'll never get to the meeting." Riley grinned through the remaining tears.

"But.but.I liked the kissing. The kissing was good! Way above average!" Xander chuckled, standing with Riley.

Placing a kiss on Xander's head, Riley turned to walk out the door, never letting go of the smaller man's hand. "Come on, stud."

"Excuse me? You want Xander to do what?!" Riley yelled at Buffy, pacing around Giles' apartment, as the Scooby Gang, minus Xander who was currently trying to calm Riley down, sat on the couch.

"He's the only other person who can come with me. He's got military experience. You can't go because they know you!" Buffy exclaimed, rubbing her head.

"He was a soldier for one night! Its not like he's got years of training behind him!" Riley screamed at Buffy as Xander slid his arms around him and tried to comfort and calm him.

"Look, Riley, I know you've been a tough time, but-" Buffy began to stand, her intention to move closer to Riley.

"A tough time?! I just lost the woman I thought of as my mother, and now you want Xander to risk his life?! AND I'M GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME?!" Riley was literally shaking with grief and rage.

"Come on, baby, come with me." Xander took Riley by the hand, and led him into Giles' bathroom, the closest room where they could have some privacy.

"Look, I'm sorry I snapped, ok?" Riley placed his hands on either side of Xander's head, and rested his own forehead on Xander's. "I just can't lose you."

Xander placed a small kiss on Riley's lips. "You're not going to lose me, I promise. Nothing will ever make me leave you."

Riley gave a small smile at the affirmation of Xander's feelings for him. "I love you." Riley looked into Xander's eyes but quickly glanced down, suddenly fearful of rejection at the first time he told his boyfriend how deep his feelings ran.

"I love you too." Xander smiled as Riley lifted his head, a giant smile spread across his face, his eyes twinkling. "Maybe I should show you how much I love you." Xander winked, as he sank to his knees.

Carefully, and quietly, Xander unzipped Riley's fly, chuckling as he remembered the time he had convinced his lover to stop wearing underwear. His reminiscing ended as soon as Riley's half hard cock emerged.

Riley groaned quietly as Xander licked his cockhead, dipping his tongue into the slit.

"God, Xan, you're so good." Riley's hands massaged Xander's head as the younger man groaned around his cock.

It took calling on his years of stealth training not to scream as Xander deep throated Riley. Instead, he unconsciously began an endless stream of babbling.

"Xander, god, you're so good.I love you so much.you look so hot.taking my cock.love you."

In loving response to Riley's cute babbling, Xander ever so slightly tugged on his boyfriend's balls, feeling them tense up.

"Oh Xan.I'm gonna cum.god.love you." Riley's eyes squeezed shut, as his orgasm shot through him, his boyfriend swallowing his seed.

Seconds later, Xander stood, placing a gentle kiss on Riley's lips. "You know I've got to go."

Riley nodded silently, resting his forehead against Xander's. "Come back to me?"

Another small kiss. "Always."

After they'd made themselves look presentable, Xander took Riley's hand and led him out of the bathroom.

Xander spoke up first. "Buffy, I'm coming with you." Riley's grip on Xander's hand tightened, and Xander squeezed back, a reminder of his promise.

Buffy shuffled her feet, not knowing Riley well enough to give him a hug. "Sorry, Riley. Didn't mean to piss you off."

Riley flashed Buffy a small smile, once again squeezing Xander's hand. "It's cool. You didn't mean to."

Buffy returned the smile. "I wish you guys could have some more time together, but we need to do this now. If we don't, we may never be safe."

"We know, we've discussed it." Xander replied, his tone of voice disguised as upbeat, though he felt like going home and lying in Riley's arms.

"We should get going then."

Buffy headed for the door of Giles' apartment, ending all discussion. Xander walked after her, and out of the door.

Four seconds later, he came running back in, and kissed Riley as though his life depended on it.

*****
Part 2:

Luckily enough, Buffy's clearance hadn't been revoked, so entry into the Initiative wasn't a problem.

Xander was dressed in a military get-up Riley had bought for him, though there was no way he was telling Buffy that the clothes weren't for any kind of mission that took place out of the bedroom. Buffy was dressed in a simple costume, which consisted of a white coat and glasses.

"We need to get to room 314. That's where we'll find whatever Professor Walsh was hiding." Buffy walked slightly in front of Xander, not looking back at him as she spoke. "It's this way."

Xander silently followed Buffy, until she turned a corner gesturing for Xander to wait.

Seconds later, Buffy whispered to Xander, telling him to follow her. Xander noted the unconscious body of a soldier as he walked through a door labeled 314.

Xander was so far behind Buffy, that he didn't see her grab Dr. Angleman by the throat. "So, what's in room 314?" Buffy asked, her trademark faux innocence voice coming to the surface.

A demonic voice cut Dr. Angleman off before he had the change to open his mouth. "Me."

A part demon, part human, part machine hybrid jumped down, with complete ease, from a small balcony.

"Buffy Summers, freshman at UC Sunnydale, current Slayer. 19 years of age, shares a dormitory room with one Willow Rosenberg."

Buffy made to attack the mismatched creature, but Dr. Angleman spoke up, directing his speech to the demonic new-comer. "Adam, you must stand down. Do you understand?"

Adam looked at Dr. Angleman, a curious look on his face. "No, I do not understand."

That was enough to convince Angleman to flee. Free of Buffy's grasp, Angleman made it five feet before a skewer between the ribs stopped him. Permanently.

Seconds later, Buffy struck Adam's face several times, coming away with a broken hand from the impact.

Gun shots indicated that soldiers were trying to make their way into the locked room.

Xander, always the hero, couldn't stand around while his friend was having the crap beat out of her. "Buffy! Watch out!"

Buffy hit the ground, barely conscious, blood pouring from many gashes on her face. Xander turned away, desperately trying to punch Adam, attempting to keep him away from the vulnerable Buffy.

Xander's scream echoed throughout the room as the same skewer that had killed Angleman, punctured his stomach. Xander fell to the ground, clutching his stomach.

More shots rang out, and then Xander could hear footsteps of soldiers. A lot of faces appeared in front of his eyes, as Xander could only find the strength to stare straight ahead.

Xander's heart nearly stopped as another face appeared in front of him.

"Graham?"

"Xander?" Graham searched Xander's body, checking the injury. "We need to get him to a hospital. Her too." Graham indicated to Buffy.

"But, Sir, our orders are-"

"Dammit, I'm in charge now! Finn left the marines, in case you forgot, so damn well follow my orders and get these people to a civilian hospital!" Graham's face was flushed, for reasons he wasn't sure of.

*two hours later*

Xander's injury wasn't as bad as it seemed. According to the doctors he just needed some rest.

Graham was sitting on a chair next to Xander's bed, quietly watching over the sleeping man. Seeing as he only knew Xander's first name, he couldn't give the doctors any further information, hence Graham being the only person visiting the injured brunette.

Going against his better judgment, Graham entwined his fingers with Xander's, jumping back when the younger man's eyes started to flicker open.

"Ri.Riley?"

The name of his ex-fellow soldier, and friend, cut him like a sword through the heart. "Xander, it's Graham. Remember me?"

Xander's eyes widened, then wisely decided to close them again. "Graham? How.why.huh?"

Graham smiled, taking Xander's hand into his own again. "In case you forgot, you were breaking into my place of employment. Didn't happen to mention you were friends with the Slayer last time we were together."

"As I recall, I didn't do much more than moan last time we were together. And in case *you* forgot, you were less than honest too. Never mind the fact you didn't even say goodbye." Xander tried hard to keep his face emotionless, not wanting to let Graham know how much his leaving without so much as a hug hurt him.

"I.um.I wanted to, really I did. But.I was leaving for the military, y'know?" Graham's voice became strained, emotions coming through. "This sounds crazy, and I don't expect it to be returned, but I started feeling things for you. More than just one night of unbelievable sex."

Xander raised his hand, still holding onto the older man's hand, and placed a kiss on Graham's hand.

"Xander? What are -"

A confused and flustered Riley didn't give Xander the chance to apologise, or Graham the chance to explain, as he ran out of the ward.

"Shit!" Xander yelled, trying to get out of his bed. Ripping the IV off of his arm, wincing at the pain, Xander stood, only to find Graham trying to push him back down.

"You can't walk about like this. Let me talk to him, ok?" Graham rubbed Xander's arm, while applying enough pressure to make Xander sit back on his bed.

"You? You know Riley?" Xander asked, rubbing his head.

"We're damn near best friends. Riley, Forrest and I. He told me had someone new in his life, I just didn't know who." Graham raised his hand, brushing it through Xander's hair. "I better go and find him."

"Hey, Ri."

Riley stood from his seat in the gardens of the hospital. "Graham."

Graham inwardly winced. Riley hadn't called him Graham since the first day they had met, when they were seven. It had always been 'Gray'. "It didn't.it wasn't anything.I'd never do that to you."

Apparently Graham's explanation wasn't enough, as Riley's fist connected with his jaw. Graham fell to the ground, clutching his aching jaw. "There better be a good reason why you were getting cuddly with my boyfriend."

Graham stood, his knees shaky. "Just let me explain, then feel free to beat the shit out of me."

Riley felt the muscles in Graham's stomach spasm as his fist connected. "Now explain." Riley walked past the groaning Graham, and sat back down on the nearby bench.

Graham stood, and sat next to Riley. "There was a time, seven months ago, when Xander and I got to know each other. Intimately. We spent the night together, but I left because my leave ended that night."

Riley looked at his friend, his face still etched with betrayal and jealousy. "You expect me to believe you were getting tight with my boyfriend because you two had a one night stand seven months ago? Don't bullshit me."

Graham sighed, rubbing his head. "It wasn't just the one night stand. I don't know about Xander, but, for me, there was some feelings involved. I can't explain it, but I think I'm in love with him."

Riley clenched his fists, fighting back the urge to knock his former friend unconscious. Instead, he stood and walked away. Back to Xander.

"Are you in love with him?" Riley asked, appearing through the drawn curtains, which secreted Xander's bed from the rest of the ward.

Xander looked up, tears in his eyes. "No.I don't know. Maybe. But I love you. With all my heart, I love you."

Riley walked further into the make-shift room, his eyes never leaving Xander's body. "I don't know if that's true."

Immediately, Xander jumped from his bed, attempting to take Riley into his arms and show him how much he loved him. Instead, he underestimated the amount of pain he was in, and tumbled to the ground when the first shock wave of pain ran through him.

Riley immediately ran to Xander's side, helping him back into his bed. "You may not love me, but I love you. So don't hurt yourself like that again, ok?"

Xander's tears fell from his eyes, trickling down his cheeks. "I do love you. I love you with all my soul. Don't ever doubt that."

Satisfied that Xander was in bed, and not going to jump out of it again, Riley sat beside him on the bed. "What about Graham?"

"I don't know, honestly I don't. I have feelings for him, I know that much." Xander kissed Riley's bare arm, thankful he had convinced the older man to invest in sleeveless t-shirts.

"I should leave you alone. Let you get your thoughts together. I know I need to."

And with that, Riley left, leaving Xander alone with his confusion.

*the next day*

A small knock on his door woke Riley from his Daytime TV stupor. Opening the door, he saw Graham on the other side.

"What do you want?"

Graham shuffled his feet, nervous as hell. "Just to talk."

Riley grunted, and walked back to his couch, leaving the door open. Graham walked in, and followed Riley, not sure where to sit.

"We didn't mean any of this. It just sorta happened."

"We? Its 'we' now, is it?" Riley muttered, not looking away from the TV. "Sit if you're staying."

Graham did as he was told, sitting in the armchair to the left of Riley. "Not in that way. I'd never do that to you. I love you."

Riley looked away from the TV, watching Graham's movements. "Remember the summer of '95? We were, what, 17?"

Graham smiled, remembering those happy times. "A lot of firsts that year."

Riley chuckled. "No kidding."

Graham moved from his armchair, and sat next to his friend. "The first time you kissed me. The first time you were inside me."

Riley turned his head, watching Graham's eyes. "Simpler times, huh?"

Graham sighed. "I love him."

"So do I. Give us some time together, ok? There's things we need to talk about." Riley stood. "You can stay here if you want. I'm going to the hospital."

"Hey." Riley gave a small smile, as he sat next to Xander's bed in the obligatory padded chair.

Xander's eyes lit up. "Hey baby. Wasn't sure if you were going to come."

Quietly, Riley slipped his fingers between Xander's. "Of course I'd come. But there are a few things we need to talk about."

Xander nodded, sitting up in his bed. "Shoot."

"Do you love Graham?" Riley asked, his voice cracking.

Xander slowly nodded. "I think I do."

Riley blinked back the tears, covering his eyes with his spare hand. "And me? Do you still love me?"

Xander reached out, and cupped Riley's chin, making the older man look him in the eye. "I love you. I love you more than anything else in this life."

Letting out a small sigh of relief, Riley stood and placed a kiss on Xander's head. "Have the doctors told you when you can get out?"

"Yep, later today, actually. Feel like keeping me company?" Xander squeezed on Riley's hand.

"Always." A small smile from his boyfriend made Xander want to jump for joy. Jumping for joy got upgraded to screaming his delight as Riley stood, and lay next to him on the bed. "You know you've got to make a choice."

Rubbing Riley's arm, Xander nodded. "I already did." Xander inched up, puckering his lips for a kiss, which Riley happily gave him.

"It was me, right?" Riley asked, his eyes full of nervousness.

"It'll always be you."

*****