::Thats a tad Old Testemant for a good Catholic boy, aint it Peaches?:: Spike was whispering somewhere in Angels mind. He could hear it again, without hearing it.

Angel turned over in the wet grass to look at the fountain, now running red with blood. The crimson pool spilled over the marble edges and seeped into the earth below. The stone angel grimaced at them in the darkness, a gargoyle, cold and indifferent.

Angel shook his head. ::Im not doing that Spike,....:: he answered, although his lips never moved.

::Dru?:: Spike turned to look for the woman who had, only moments before, he was certain, lain sleeping between the two male vampires. She was nowhere in sight.

Angel blinked slowly as the smaller man stood. He seemed to shimmer somehow, as if he was made entirely of dancing molecules and fragments of light. Angel shook his head and the vision cleared, but as he watched, Spikes nude form was suddenly clothed, first in the Eighteenth century finery, then the familiar Neo-Gothic garb. The larger vampire stared, unmoving, as the auburn hair of his lover shifted, shrank back closer to his scalp, and faded to a platinum blonde. The stripes of paint which had marked his cheeks dissapeared as well, replaced by the bruises Angel recalled making himself, before this strange journey had begun. When he had loosed his demon full force upon his lover.

((Not truly full on, you had more planned, Angelus))

Angel shivered, and tossed away the thought. He glanced down at his own form. His naked body was now covered too, by black jeans, a bulky, dark sweater, and the trademark black duster. He reached a hand to touch his spiky, short hair.

Spike was looking at him intently, the blue eyes reflecting and refracting the darkness, turning to yellow glass in the moonlight. ::I dont like this, Angel.:: he whispered, out loud this time. Angel was relieved to hear the voice. It shattered the surreal feeling which surrounded him. He reached out a hand to touch the smaller mans face, fingertips lightly brushing the cold, soft skin.

Physical. Material. Sure.

Then the larger vampire nodded tersely, and glanced back to where the mansion was -- n't......

::Shit!:: he muttered, grabbing for Spikes hand.

::What the fucks goin on, Sire?:: Angel realized the question was mostly rhetorical. It was the only way Spike could look to him with any sort of reassurance. He would never express fears aloud. In response, Angel squeezed the slim fingers within his own tightly.

::I dunno, Spike, but its not...its not me anymore. Im not doing any of this....:: Angels stomach lurched to his throat as he realized the truth. ::We have to get out of here. Now.::

*****************************************************************************

::Giles! I think I found it!:: Willow shouted excitedly. She handed a large tome to the Watcher, who eyed it with growing excitement. ::Yes- yes, this may work!:: he agreed. Then his voice lowered ever so slightly. ::Its very dangerous.::

Xander snorted. ::More dangerous than starving to death amidst chicken droppings? Cause, Im there.::

Anya shrugged and patted his belly. ::Not like you couldnt lose a few pounds around the middle.::

Xander glared at her, and turned to Giles. ::Whats the what already?::

The group listened intently as the older Watcher translated directions on the creation of a portal into conciousness....

*****************************************************************************

Angel kept a firm grip on his Childes hand as they ran through what had once been the garden. Where flowers had moments ago bloomed, only brown, dusty remnants remained. The once full trees were bare, limbs twisted and decayed. The blood from the never ending fountain crawled through the ground, and everywhere it touched, the soil bubbled and disintegrated, leaving gaping holes and the stench of death.

Angel looked to the sky; the moon had started its descent. He suddenly realized that until now, it had indeed stood still, as Dru had promised. But now the moon was careening through the heavens like a chariot afire, the stars flickering and burning in random patterns around it. If the pace kept up, sunrise would not be long in coming. And the mansion was gone. There would be nowhere to hide.

Spike realized it the moment Angel did. He shut his eyes for a moment, panic flashing in them too quickly for a mortal to catch. ::Druscilla!:: he shouted, sending out voice and Bloode bond to her. Angel closed his eyes as well, and joined in the preterntural summons.

Only silence met their plea. ::Its no use, Will. She cut it.:: Angel said.

Spike ducked his head, disbelieving, guilty.... ::Its not your fault, Childe, :: Angel whispered. ::We have to get someplace safe.::

The blond vampire looked at the crumbling earth beneath his boots, and nodded. Angel raised his brows in uneasy agreement. Underground. Deep enough where the sunlight could not reach, they could steal time... to think, to make a plan. Maybe even to survive long enough to be rescued by the mortal crew Spike had enough foresight to call upon. Angel made a mental note to thank him again for that if they lived through this.

::You sure you wanna.....?:: Angel gestured to the ground to finish his question, expecting and recieving a glower as a reply. Nonetheless he felt compelled to ask.

The taller vampire had been buried as part of his turning. He had clawed his way from the half frozen earth and simple wood box which was his grave, to find Darla standing above the desecrated site, waiting for him. Angelus had never put Will into the earth. And although there was nothing which could harm them there, it was.....

::I lived in a mausoleum, Peaches. I aint afraid of a little bit o dirt.:: Spike snorted, then asked, :: You sure youre up to it? Takes some heavy majik, luv. I couldnt -- I mean, Ive never done it.::

Angel squelched his grin and nodded. ::Yea, I think I got some kick left...for an Ol man.:: He referred back to their earlier conversation without thinking. The familiar banter was always comforting. At the moment, it was the only thing slicing through the tension, which otherwise hung thick and palatable in the stale, musky air.

::Shame to mess up the jacket though.:: Spike countered, and Angel finally had to give up a grin for him.

::All right then, lets do it.::

***************************************************************************

::What language is that?:: Xander whispered to the ex demon clutching at his hand. Anya looked nervous; that couldnt be a good sign. Shed lived this stuff for a millenium. ::Its a form of Aramaic. The spell is Quaballistic in origin, :: she whispered back. Xander made believe he knew what the hell she was talking about. But he was having a hard time getting past the fact that the younger Watcher, the witch, and his girlfriend looked mildly petrified.

::Youre shaking, Anya::, he murmured, and tugged her closer into his embrace. ::Well, you would be too if you knew *anything*.:: Xander ignored the putdown in favor of the warning. ::Ok, so fill me in.::

::Giles is opening a door into Angels conciousness...his --:: she began. But Xander cut her off. ::Essence? Soul?:: he finished for the red headed demon.

She nodded. ::If he even gets through the portal, theres no guarantee hes coming back.::

Xanders mouth fell open. ::You mean...he has to go *in* to Angel? Like Spike is? Only..without the...ick factor.::

The girl nodded again. ::Yes. He has to go in. Its the only way to alter anything. But once hes in....its up to Angel to get them all out. And thats not looking very likely considering,...:: she waved her hand in the direction of the bloody bed, and the vampires who had been.... suspended....for almost an entire day and night.

::Someone remind me why were doing this again?:: Xander whispered.

But Cordelia heard him. When she turned to face the boy, it took some channeling of his inner hyena not to cower at that icy glare. Suddenly he was standing in front of her hospital bed, after shed nearly died from a fall in a warehouse....And she and Oz had just caught Xander and Willow in a moment of foolish passion....And she was looking at him with the most intense and focused hatred he had ever seen in a living being.

::Youre doing *this* again because youve treated Angel like total shit for long enough. Your weak and stupid and jealousies have caused enough pain all around, and I for one am OVER IT. So either get with the program, or go back to doing what youre good at. Oh yea...I forgot. You dont *have* anything youre good at.::

{{She shoots, she scores. Good old Cordy.}}

The answer was on his tongue, really it was, something profound and scathing... But there was a whirlpool arising behind Giles suddenly, a big blue spinning light, like a cross between a hurricaine and a tornado, and inside it, he could just make out darkness....earth...and sky....and as Giles continued to chant, it was getting closer to the Watcher...drawing him inside.....And there was a hideous, unearthly howl......which made the wail of the Essence Demon sound like a yapping poodle by way of comparison....And then there was Nothing.

************************************************************************

::Angel?:: Spike whispered....

::Yea?::

::Where the fuck are we?:: No fear. Just curiosity. The vampire was beyond fear at this point. His physical self was in LA, in Angels apartment, his *Essence* was buried eight feet underground, and yet somehow...he was ..standing in a ...Museum.....

::I hate soddin Impressionist Art. Why Impressionist Art, you romantic poof?!::

:: I dunno.:: The older vampire shrugged. A dream within a dream within a.....thinking about it made his teeth hurt.

The two moved to sit on a stone bench, facing the work ~The Rouen Cathedral~ by Monet. Glorious, resplendent sunlight whirled off the spires of the late nineteenth century church. Probably painted right before Angelus gained a soul.... Spike cocked his blond head. ::Freaky, really. If you look at it long enough, theres a naked bird in there.::

Angel grinned. ::Is not.:: Nonetheless, Spike watched the dark vampire cock his head at the same angle and squint slightly....

::We need to talk.:: Angel said finally.

Spike sighed. ::You know, pet, according to Cosmo, when your lover says *we have to talk* , its always a bad sign.::

{{Cosmo? Oh yea...stupid girlie magazine...Cordy leaves those laying around the office...why is Spike reading Cosmo?}}

::Hey! I was neutered, chained in a bathtub, forced to live with Rupert, and then *Xander*! It was a weak moment. Sue me!.::

::You could hear that? I didnt...conciously.. send that one...:: Angel mused.

::Well, technically, were not talking at all. Were either on the bed...or in the ground...or ...oh sod it. I dunno where the fuck we are. But the bloods doin it. Yea, I hear everything youre thinking. Even the stuff way at the back...like ---:: , the blond paused and held a hand to his forehead for dramatic emphasis. :: My my Peaches! You surprise me. Youre thinking about that time in the Louvre in what was it? 1890-some...? Me and you and Dru --::, he wriggled his brows and gave Angel the trademark lacivious smirk.

The dark vampire looked impressed. ::Wow. Yea...yea.. I was..maybe thats why we ended up here...the demon must be snatching random images from my brain as well.... Look...the power you have now, to hear *all* of me, try to put some of it down. If you keep up that rate itll make you crazy. Im sorry....I should have taught you this stuff before. Angelus wasnt much into sharing power.::

Spike shurgged. ::Whatever, pet. How do I turn the volume down?::

Angel reached forward and lay his hand against Spikes cool forehead. ::Just will it. Close off that part of your brain. I dont know how it works. Hell, I dont know how *we* work. It just...does.::

The smaller vampire grimaced. ::Now youre a bleedin Nike commercial.:: Ignoring Angels confused stare, he shut his eyes, and *willed* it...and ...holy hell. Now only Angels most focused thoughts floated across to him. Well. That was easy. And quite amusing. Angelus was a right bastard not teaching him all this.

The tall vampire smiled. ::Yea, he was -- is. Anyway, *Now* we need to talk.::

*****************************************************************************

::Whats happening?:: a mortal voice in the darkness....Darkness...no, that wasnt really the correct word. It was not just darkness. It was ....absence of light. Absence of anything.

The voice floated, then was sucked into the Nothing.

*****

::Did I hurt you?:: the dark vampires voice was tremulous. The smaller man turned to meet the worried gaze. :: No, you-- he-- *you* fell over bleeding from the nose before you could do any real damage. Didnt even get to mark me again::

Angel noticed the carefully avoided use of a pronoun in the last sentence. He swallowed hard. ::That wouldnt have finished it, Spike.::

The blond vampire shrugged. ::No, Im sure he had other plans past the tattoo.::

::I did.:: Angel asserted, offering up the chosen pronoun for the others interpretation. ::And you would have let me do it? Just like that, no questions asked, no arguments rendered.:: His voice turned up slightly on the last, as if in question. Pointless. He already knew the answer.

A terse nod. ::Of course.::

::Why, Will?? For Godssake, why? Dont you think you deserve better than that?::

A low rumble from the younger vampires chest. Small, but sufficient threat display. ::Deserve?! Who the hell are you to talk about taking what you deserve?! You still dont get it, mate, do you? Two hundred fucking years and you still have no bloody clue how I feel about you? What I would --- oh fuck off!::

With that, the vampire stood up abruptly, with all intents to storm away. Which was always so eloquent and effective a maneuver when one was a big, bad, black clad demon -- when he suddenly realized that that move was strategically impossible. Somehow, while the two vampires had been talking, their realm of reality had once again shifted. The entire world had been effectively narrowed down to a stone bench, a single Monet, and eachother.

There was simply nowhere to run.

::How you feel about me?:: Angel countered, his rage and confusion clouding his reason. On some level, he realized that their surroundings were...shrinking. And that should probably take precedence. But it didnt. Not to him. Spike was the only thing that mattered now; making things right with Spike.....So he pressed on.

:: How you feel about me makes some difference in the way you let me treat you? Youd let me beat the shit out of you because you have *feelings* for me?::

The blond shot him a look, which translated most literally into... *well, duh*.

It was the consummate irony finally, that truth. Of course Spike would let him do that. He HAD let him do that. For over a hundred years.

The dark haired vampires voice was subdued now. ::Do you wanna know what I was gonna do, Spike? After the tattoo? Do you wanna know?:: he didnt give the other man a chance to finish before he went on, the words spilling forth fast...faster...so he could not be tempted to do the easy thing, and call them back....

::Cordy made me watch this movie once. We were working on a case involving Voodoo, and she rented it, for research she said...Anyway, it was about Zombies in Haiti...pretty much stupid shit really. But there was this one scene...where the head villian is torturing the poor American hero guy....And the villian says...*I wanna hear you scream*.....::

Angel lifted his eyes then, to stare into the golden visage inches away from him. The husky, hypnotic timbre of his voice was drawing the boy in, and the older vampire knew it. Did nothing to stop it...

::So the guy screamed. Out of fear, I guess. And gods, I had to fix my jeans at that.....so reminiscent it was....and then the Haitian man did this thing....the American guy was tied to a wood chair, and the Haitian picked up a hammer, and a huge spike....and he says, *not good enough*::

Spike met the gold eyes, stare unwavering. Angel fought the urge to slap him. Foolish Childe. Foolish to think this was erotic. Foolish to trust him.

::All I could think of was how much I wanted to do this. Which was when the guy in the movie did the most amazing thing....and Cordy about vomited....but I was glued to the screen, Spike. I couldnt take my eyes off... the Haitian man pulled the bound guys pants down and nailed his fucking testicles to the wood chair with a spike. All I could think of was you, and I tried, I tried not to....and I dreamed about it for weeks anyway. And I wanted it.....And I was going to do it...and YOU WOULD HAVE FUCKING LET ME::

His voice broke, finally, on the last, and he didnt know or care if it was the demon or the man howling...He would have done it, and his beautiful Childe would have *let him* do it....and for what?

He was completely unprepared for Spikes reply, for the coating of calm over heated rage....::Because I *want* to belong to you. Because I cant stand myself when I dont. Because there is NOTHING without all that, and more than anything else I fear..NOTHING. When the Initiative had me, and they were torturing me, y'know, that was Ok. I could handle that. Shit, I been handling that for over two hundred lousy years, alive, or dead...dont fucking matter.::

All semblence of composure lost now as the blond vampire continued, veins popping out on his neck and forehead, blue ribbons of anger. ::But when they had me so I couldnt fight back...when they were putting that chip in me, and they were talking about me...like I wasnt even sodding *there*...it was like being...nothing. And then I got out and Im *still* nothing...I cant hunt, I cant kill, I cant FEED. This damn Essence Demon didnt have to look far to find my fears, Angel, cause Im damn well LIVING them!::

Angel stared, unblinking. The tirade danced its way through his addled brain, and there was an important point there...a key actually....and living through this pretty well depended on him figuring it out, and .... ---

{{THUD}}

The pair of vampires fell on their duster covered rumps as the bench beneath them suddenly dissapeared.

*******************************************************************************

The Watcher couldnt breathe. There were icy, vice like hands around his middle, squeezing and compressing his lungs; his heart clenched violently in the malevolent grip. He was pressed backward against a hard surface, his spine crushed against the pressure, the weight of the constant spinning. He was going to lose control of all bodily functions in a moment, he was certain of it; and wouldnt that be embarassing if he survived... The G-force was crushing his skull like a walnut. And still he couldnt scream. The tears froze unshed in the corners of his eyes. Somewhere, far away, someone shouted his name.

************************************************************************************

::Will yourself back, Spike. Do it now. Find me. Find me in the ground.:: The voice like a thread....and the vampire followed it...grasping with both hands through the darkness that was so much more than darkness...and climbing down and down and down....

Muffled shout against the neck. Dirt in the mouth, the eyes, dirt covering the bodies. Layers upon layers of dirt. Eight feet of dark earth. Hundreds of tiny legs, whispering of boneless creatures, slithering of worms. Insects crawling between them, over them, on them, no difference in their cold unmoving forms and the dead which customarily lay here.

::Its all dissapearing, Angel,:: even the mind-speech had a shimmering quality, an old record, worn from years of use. Soon there would be --

{{nothing}}

A freight train whistle...a tornado...the sound so much like those...but louder..more ethereal...And through the bed of earth, Angel saw it...the swirling blue, like a cyclone...a holy light...and wherever it touches the {{nothing}} is extinguished...

*********************************************************************************

Giles hovered on the edge of conciousness, watching the color and the lights dance around his limp form. Tossed like a ragdoll in the hands of a rancorous giant. He could barely make out the forms which seemed to be entombed....two pale gods in a death embrace....Suggestive of Spike and Angel, the way he had left them on the vampires bed, same pose...the platinum covering the shadow, seraphs and demons, statues and men....and it has been a long time the Watcher thinks, a long time since he has been overcome with such a sense of awe....and dread....

***************************************************************************

::Dont let go of me, Will::...Clawing through the dirt , carrying the weight of his Childe effortlessly, one hand shooting up through the soil...waiting for the burning which does not come. Faster now, large bodies shielded by leather and cotton against the beginnings of another abnormal sunrise. Preternatural speed toward the swirling blue light. Crackling, small hairs standing at attention, surge and jolt, unimaginable pull. And everything between the vampires and the fantastic sucking cyclone crumbling and turning to sand, to dust.....

::Theres nothing left!:: a furious shout over the wail. ::We have to --::

Cut off by a nod, and a fierce hug combined with a timely lunge, throwing both powerful bodies toward the mysterious light, which is now the only thing there, save for a small patch of earth upon which the vampires feet had stood.

Then there is pain. Squeezing, and pulling, and hideous spinning, and the blond vampire is fairly certain he is going to throw up. {{Had he really said he preferred this over *nothing*? Was it too late to change his effin mind? }} He cant feel Angels hand any more around his own. Cant feel anything but the searing flames, and {{oh damn, good thing this isnt physically real, cause that would really suck, eh mate}} And hes not going to cry, for chrissake, like some nonce, cause Angel isnt crying...Angel isnt...Angel isnt ::*Here!!*:: Spit out from the mouth of some giant fish, wet and cold and shivering, on the two foot square scrap of earth which is all that remains. ::Why are we back here!?::

::Its me. It wont let me go through....:: Angel is shouting again, but its not necessary. The answer, the blind panic, clear without words. ::You go, Will. Get out of here.::

All the while the wind kicking up the tiny bits of dust, soot covering black clothes and white skin until it was all the same, a dull shade of gray. Whats left of the ground rumbling dangerously. Their footing uncertain, precarious.

::No! No Im not leaving, you idiot! Look, maybe nothing will happen...even if the sun comes up..this isnt *real*, right? Its not physical...so maybe we wont be dusted...maybe we wont dissapear with the rest, maybe --::

::Im not taking that chance with you!:: Hands on his collar. ::Youre going without me, boy.::

Laughter over the ghastly sound of stalking Death.. ::Nice try. That kind of power only works cause I choose to give it to you. *When* I choose to give it to you. I bloody well dont now. Im staying.::

Rabid, yellow glare. Large hands on the collar again, futile attempt at a backward shove, boot clad feet locked firmly to the slipping earth. Vampiric strength evenly matched. In the body, in the essence. In the unwavering, animal stare.

{{blink}} A show of submission. Of defeat. Angel hung his head.

Then the smaller demon was in his arms suddenly, his body shaking violently with unrestrained emotion. ::I lied, Angel. I lied to you! I dont fear the Nothing most of all.... Its you! What I fear most..... Its losing you.......... Dont ask me to do it.... I wont...I wont...::

Angel wrapped his arms tightly around his Childe, rocking back and forth on the shrinking patch of ground, lulled in the timeless rythym of comfort.

{{Close your eyes}} The words sprang to the older mans mind, unbidden, and carefully shielded from the smaller one in his arms. {{Close your eyes}}. The words that had been harbingers of every disaster God had ever wraught upon the souled vampire. Whispered by Darla before she turned him. Cooed by her, centuries later, as she blindfolded him, and led him to his latest gift, a bound Gypsy girl. Murmured by Buffy a century after that, when she kissed him and sent him to Hell.

{{Close your eyes}} It will be easier if you dont see ......

He wouldnt do that to Spike.

Slowly, Angel pushed the blond back from him, his heart rending as the comfort of the embrace was ripped away.

His fear was the same as his Childes.

There were so many reasons why being a vampire wasnt...natural. Perhaps the most potent of all was losing every living creature, eventually, to death. The end comes for everyone you know finally, and the demon animating the corpse just keeps walking. What was it that Will had said to him, as they stood in the alley the night Angel said his final goodbyes to Buffys lifeless body...*they die, we live forever.*

It was almost true. Losing everyone he had ever loved wasnt really living, was it?

::Its my deepest fear too, Will. Losing you. And I guess, in the end, Im still the weaker one.:: He sent that in his kiss, his lips brushing over the younger vampires with all the tenderness he possessed, all the love.

The younger man stiffened as the meaning struck....but there was no time for retort.

::Always::, Angel whispered.

And Spikes eyes were open as Angel pushed him backward, into the blinding whirl of the light.

*****

::OW! Bloody HELL!:: One naked, pissed off, soul-less vampire deposited in an ungraceful heap on the wood floor of Angels bedroom. In the center of a circle of mortals.

Very confused mortals, with heads tilted to one side in the age old gesture of -

::What the hell was that about?::

::Man, that was cool. I didnt know vamps bounced.::

::Giles! Wheres Giles?!::

::Wheres the spinny blue light?::

Spike leaped to his feet. ::Sod all that. Wheres my effin Sire?!::

And in response to the unabashed stares, ::Whut?!:: Looking down at his own nude form. ....::Oh, well. Sorry. Didnt mean to show you up there, Harris.:: Salacious grin to the ladies.

::Hey....did anyone else notice --::

::The silence?::

::The stillness?::

::The lack of chickens?::

Confused and disgusted vampire grimace. ::Chickens?!::

************************************************************************

Angel stared up at the sky, at the bright tendrils of blue and pink and orange creeping overhead, bringing warmth, and radiance, and certain Death. Talk about Dejavu. Well, one thing was certain. It sure as hell wasnt going to snow.

The vampire comforted himself in the knowledge that his Childe was safe. He had spent years uncounted being comforted by that fact alone. When he hadnt wanted to be with the irritatingly lovable blond boy, when it was best that he wasnt, really. At least he knew he was out there somewhere.....

Wreaking havoc and killing people.

Angel sighed.

His demon was clanging against the bars of his flesh and bones cage. Angelus was afraid of the End.

Angel was not.

Nope. No snow. So he was going to die, finally.

With his eyes open.

He watched as the first golden rays of sunshine crossed the horizon. Gods in Heaven, it was beautiful. How he had missed this. It was dazzling, and sacred, warm and life affirming, and .....

It smelled like chicken.

A mortal man landed on the vampires feet. ::OW! Bloody HELL!:: said the mortal man.

And the sunrise stopped in the sky. And the blue, spinning cyclone dissapeared. And the earth grew a few feet beneath the vampire.

::Giles!?::

*****

The blond vampire sat on the edge of his Sires bed, purposefully avoiding eye contact with the humans surrounding him. The prone body of Angel lay untouched and unmoved.

Spike began to absently rub at the fading bloodstains which covered the dark mans skin. They had been left so long to dry into the porous flesh that they were almost a coppery brown color now. Some crazed kind of primal tattoo. It didnt take any sort of preterntural insight to interpret the actions of the rigid backed figure, who was licking his own fingers now and running them over the stained cheeks of the still unconcious man.

After his initial grand entrance, he had said not one word to the group of humans. Rather, the vampire had slipped into a pair of his Sires silk boxers, and taken his place on the bed beside him. It had been fifteen minutes, and he still had not moved.

Inside, he was raging. Angel had done it again. Fucking self sacrifcing prick. Left him here to pick up more pieces. Who was gonna fix this shit now? Spike fiercely battled the prickling sensation behind his tired eyes. He let his face slip into its natural demonic form to avoid the disgrace of crying in front of mortals. And he held his Sires hand in a crushing grip. The body was still here. That had to mean something.

The mortals said nothing. After twenty four hours of chaos and cacaphony, the apartment was now errily silent. With the exception of Wesley, the gathered here were little more than high school students. Despite all they had faced in their short lives, some devestation simply takes more than majik to fix.. In the span of mere days they had lost Buffy, the unquestionable heart of their little family, and now it would seem their Watcher as well.

Obviously the spell had gone terribly wrong. All traces of lingering subconcious fears, Essence Demons, whirlwinds, even the portal into Angels conciousness had dissapeared. Along with Giles. If the spell had indeed been broken, then Giles had no way of returning to this plane.

And Angel was unlikely to wake up. Ever.

Noone wanted to breach that notion to the vampire seated on the bed. Noone had a deathwish.

Noone was more surprised than Spike when he heard the young Watchers voice. ::Right then, thats enough of this moping about. Lets make a plan.::

The slight vampire turned round, prepared to make some sort of scathing reply. He was halted by the look on the Englishmans face. It was determined, and...proud. Spike blinked, certain the eyes which had been futiley battling tears were deceiving him. He could just make out the faint lines of Red paint along the bridge of the Watchers nose. He touched his own cheeks in recollection, and blinked again. When he opened his eyes, the markings had dissapeared. He stared for a moment.

Then the vampire nodded shortly. ::Right then. Lets.::

************************************************************************

The tall vampire helped the obviously wounded mortal to his feet. ::Giles?:: he repeated, pulling the man to face him in the pre-dawn light. The Watcher shook himself off, and nodded. ::Angel.:: he stated.

The vampire stared. Only Giles would stand here, saying his name politely like they were meeting for afternoon tea while the world crumbled and the.....

Excpet the world wasnt crumbling. And Angel wasnt ..oh say, exploding into flames. He spared a glance at the sky. The heavens were completely still.

::Did you-- I mean...what.....I mean...why....Giles!?:: Angel would have cursed his own inarticulate babbling if he could have even formulated a thought that coherent. As it was, he just stared with his mouth open at the Englishman, who was regarding him with a mixture of curiosity and.....amusement.

Giles looked amused. Angel struggled to recall the last time the Watcher had looked amused in his presence. Ok. Make that never. And...Angel tilted his head and looked hard at the mans left ear. A small hoop earring dangled from the lobe.

Angel reached out and pinched the mans upper arm. Hard.

::OW! Bloody hell!!:: he repeated. ::What do you think youre doing!?::

Angel swallowed, and hoped that even though it was physically impossible for him to blush, his embarassment would be obvious. ::Im sorry. I just didnt think you were real.::

::Im quite real, Angel. Real and now in- in pain, thank you very much.:: He rubbbed his bicep with other hand. But there was no malice in his tone. More of that amusement.

{{Wow. Ive been in LA way longer than I thought. Giles got mellow. And an earring. }}

::And in answer to your question, un-asked as it remains, Im here to take you back home.:: He grinned, and Angel saw the faint shimmer beneath the skin. A handsome, vibrant, young man. With a quick wit and a restless, annoyed glimmer in the eye. Brimming with the beginnings of untamed power.

Good gods. He was almost reminiscent of William when he was still human.

In that instant, Angel understood. The man standing before him was not Giles..well, it was..but it...The vampire scratched his head. He felt dizzy again.

Yet, it made a perfectly fluid sense. Demons and world weary Watchers. Those who had seen too much, and lost too much. Who else would the Essence Demon target?

Technically, this was Giles. The man who had loved and carefully tended to Buffy with a greater devotion than her own biological father. The man who had allowed Angel into her carefully chosen circle of trusted allies, despite knowing what he was, who he once was. The man who no doubt came to regret that decision with all his heart; utterly shattered when Angel gave way to the demon he hosted, and slaughtered Jenny. The man who still grieved for his beloved Slayer, taken from him too, and in the most hideous, violent fashion imaginable.

But this man was also someone else. Angel had never really thought about it before. Giles had a demon all his own. And even though compared to Angelus, Giles` alter ego was markedly tame.... it was more than a bit unnerving.

In a day full of some of the most bizzare events the two hundred year old Vampire had ever had the distinct *non*-pleasure of experiencing, he now found himself standing toe to toe with Ripper.

Angel sighed. Nope. This just couldnt get any weirder.

*****
Part 18:

::You have something you wanted to discuss with me, Angel?:: Giles was studying him. And it was unnerving the Vampire. He was so damned suggestive of Will, that Angel wouldnt be surprised if the Watcher suddenly --

Lighting up a smoke, he offered one to the taller man,. ::No..,:: Angel stuttered.

((No more surprises....))

::No, you have nothing to say? I suppose I should be going then....:: And the mortal turned as if to leave....

((to...where?))

The vampire grabbed his arm. ::No..I meant no to the cigarette. Yes, I have something to say to you. Is that why you came?::

The man turned to look at him, and Angel took in the crooked smirk toying on his upper lip. ::I told you why Im here. Ive come to take you home. Angelus.::

Angel swallowed. :: Im not Angelus, Rupert. Im not him. I havent been him in --::

::Since you killed Jenny?:: the man accused. No malice in his calm, eerie tone, just stating the facts....

((The sins of the fathers daddy))

::Giles. Do you have the stone?::

The Watcher ignored the question, and calmly took a drag on his cigarette. ::Time is wasting, Angelus. Do you have something to say to me? I have miles to go, old friend.::

::I want to ask you to forigve me.:: The vampires voice was soft, shaky. He knew the man heard it, although he gave no sign. He stood, serenely inhaling the white puffs of smoke, and blowing them out again into the breath of early dawn.

When he turned to face Angel, his face was smooth and untroubled. ::You care about my forgiveness?::

Angels gaze wavered for an instant. ::Yes. I do.::

::Then why didnt you ask it before? Its been a long time, mate.::

There it was again. A term of endearment. The complete lack of emotion with which Ripper spoke made the small hairs on Angels arms stand up.

This scenario had played itself out in the dark vampires mind numberless times. Of all the torments earth and Hell had visited upon the souled vampire, in the end, it was his own musings which always tortured him most efficently. What he had done, what he should have done, what he had been too cowardly to do....

Never in his wildest imaganings did he picture himself needing to ask forgiveness from Ripper for the death of Jenny. If Giles had harbored even the slightest bit of begrudging respect for the Vampire, at least with regards to what he once meant to Buffy, this man most certainly did not share that sentiment. This man was regarding Angel with all the concern of a small bug trapped under a microscope. Interesting specimen. Squash when done.

::I couldnt. I didnt feel I deserved it.:: Angel answered finally.

The smooth mask lifted momentarily as the mortal man blinked, twice. Then he pulled off his glasses and began to polish them absently on the cuff of his shirt. ::I see.::

Angel cocked his head, as if listening to something off in the distance, and frowned. ::Rupert...We have to get out of here. Its not safe...::

::Really? I feel perfectly content. Right here. I rather like where you are.:: The Watcher put his glasses back in the bridge of his nose and regarded the Vampire thoughtfully. The message was clear. Ripper was enjoying this.

Angel listened to the low pitched rumbling.... ::Giles!:: his voice raised, and he took a single step closer to the smaller man.

Who promptly leveled a strong fist into the right side of his jaw.

*************************************************************************

::All right then, whats the plan?:: Spike addressed the Watcher directly.

::And youre welcome for our efforts thusfar, blondie.:: Xander snapped.

The vampire turned, raised one scarred brow in the boys direction. ::Ill thank ya when Ive got me Sire back in one piece. Til then, do us all a favor, and shut yer gob.::

::Or what, O impotent one?:: Xander was tired, and angry at so many things, he couldnt even begin to sort them at the moment.

Then again, so was the vampire.

::Ya know what, Harris? Ripping yer throat out and pissing down yer neck would be worth the mother of all sodding headaches.:: He took a menacing step closer to the teen.

Cordelia stepped between them. ::Angel:: was all she said.

Spike blinked. He felt the wave emenating from the girl; it hit him square in the chest, where his heart didnt beat. He looked at the young Watcher, standing across the room. The vibe was the same. It was so pure and simple he could almost taste it.

It was love for his Sire.

These two loved him and they were not about to let any harm come to him on their watch.

The Prom Queen bitch and the still-in-the-closet Englishman. His Sires human family.

((Well. If that dont top imaginary castles in the air and Druscilla coming back from the dead, I dunno what the hell does.))

************************************************************************

Angels head snapped back with the ferocity of the blow. The familiar taste of his own blood rested on his tongue.

::We dont have time for this:: the Vampire growled. He sprang forward, effortlessly pinning the smaller mans arms at his sides. The gold gaze, aroused by the blood, softened when he looked into the startled brown eyes of....his old friend.

He smiled a bit. ::You can beat me up when we get home. Although Im sure Spike will want to be first in line....Youll have to settle for sloppy seconds....::

The Watcher blinked. ::Angel?:: he asked, staring at the mans bruised jaw and bloody lip. ::Oh dear. Did I---? I did:: Giles looked away, puzzled and obviously slightly embarassed. ::And I came here fully intending to rescue you. Ive no idea what happened.::

Angel released the mans arms and shrugged. The marks were already fading. He swallowed the blood without thinking, licking his lips clean. ::I know what happened. You have the stone::

::I dont --,:: Giles stopped, and padded his pockets. The pack of cigarettes were gone. Replaced by a small, green gem. He sighed.

Angel raised his brows. ::Suppose it could have been worse. You have a mean right hook, Giles.:: The vampire rubbed his jaw and gave a worried glance to the sky.

Stormclouds gathered.

The Watcher smiled. ::Im terribly sorry about that, really.::

The apology had not yet fallen from his lips when the whirlwind began again.

************************************************************************

::Willow, if we cast another spell of opening, we should at least create another portal, yes?:: Wesley addressed the young Witch.

::Yes...but then it would be up to Giles and Angel to find it...and Angel would have to get him through it....or Giles would be stuck...::, her head bowed a bit on the last.

::Yes, but at least it would be a chance.::, the Watcher pressed.

::Do it.:: Spike said.

************************************************************************

The vampire and the Watcher now stood before what a appeared to be endless spires...huge, gleaming white spires which reached farther into the night sky than even Angels preternatural vision could follow. The metal spokes were connected together by intricate ironworks, and the entire structure stretched outward into the horizon like...

::Its some sort of gate.:: Angel murmured, reaching out his hand.

Giles stopped him before he could touch the luminescent spikes. They seemed to block the very stars....Angel turned to look at him. ::What is--?::

The Englishman was mouthing the words to something....and as Angel peered closer, he could make out words etched into the metal....

::Can you read that?::

The Watcher nodded. ::Yes...although even if I couldnt I - I would recognize it...:: The vampire shivered. ::Why? What is it? Where are we?::

::It says ~O Salutaris Hostia, Quae caeli pandis ostium~..... Angel, these are the gates of Heaven.::

*****

The portal opened easier this time, as if having been invoked once before, it was already familiar with the way. The loud shreiking heralded its arrival, and soon the objects and the occupants of the basement apartment once again faced a familiar whirlwind.

Willow shouted over the din, ::This is more than the portal! Its the demon....it doesnt want them to come back!::

Wesley nodded at her, his expression grim. He had long known Angel had a purpose, a reason for his existance which perhaps even the Vampire himself was not aware of. The sheer force with which the Darker Powers fought his return to the living could only mean that his design was more crucial than any had imagined.

A small shiver gripped the Watcher before he could suppress it.

If the vampire did not make it back, more than a freind would be lost this night.

*************************************************************************

Angel raised an eyebrow and took two steps back. ::Heaven as in--THE Heaven? I dont -- Im confused. Giles, are we dead?::

The Watcher continued to contemplate the massive structure before him with a mixture of awe and and not a small bit of terror. Then he too took a step away.

::No. No I dont think we are dead. I think this is more of the manifestation....Angel what religion are you?::

::When I was alive...I was..I mean...Catholic, I suppose. Why?::

::Tell me about what has manifested for you thusfar.:: The Watcher replied, ignoring the question. Angel did as requested, giving Giles a slightly abridged version of recent events. He did not leave out information which might be dire to their cause; he wanted nothing more than to return home. On the other hand, he did not want to discuss his sex life..... with the Watcher... in front of the gates of heaven....

((Spike was *never* going to beleive this))

Had he just said things couldnt get any stranger?

Giles grinned. ::Well, you are certainly a man of simple metaphor.::

((O my God I am humbly sorry for having offended Thee))

The vampire looked confused. ::Youre saying this is me?:: he gestured to the gate looming in front of them.

((And I detest all my sins))

Giles nodded. ::Yes...although perhaps some of my own projections are being manifested as well....Im not entirely certain. I never thought about Heaven, really. Im not sure I even believe there is such a thing...Though I must admit it seems very arrogant and quite possibly foolish to say so standing ...*here*.:: There was a familiar self-mocking in the Watchers tone, which Angel had once known so well.

((Because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell))

The vampire returned the wry grin. ::Yea, well...I remember all My Hail Marys at this moment too. Although I guess genuflecting might be out of the question for me....::

((But most of all for having offended Thee, O Lord my God))

Giles looked at him thoughtfully. ::What does Heaven mean to you, Angel?::

((Who is all good and deserving of all my love))

The answer fell from his lips before he was aware he had even formulated a thought. ::Resolution.::

((I firmly resolve to confess my sins...))

::Indeed.:: Giles nodded.

((And with the help of Thy grace ...))

::Angel, I want you to know something.:: The Watcher turned to face him now, his gaze steady. :: I am aware you are not your demon. That he lives within you, and that you struggle for tenuous control daily. And still, I couldnt bear to look at you after what was done. I can never forgive the monster that resides inside you. But I forgave the man a long time ago. I forgive you, Angel.::

((To sin no more))

The taller man took a ragged breath, but was silent as the Englishman continued. :: I believe I understand now what this represents for me as well....its not merely my forgiveness of you.....its -- Angel, I need to ask your forgiveness as well.::

Angel froze. Giles was asking him for forgiveness? What trespass could the man possibly have committed that was not wholly justified given their history together? Angel struggled to recall the last time anyone had ever asked his forgivness of anything. He honestly could not recall a single instance. For the last hundred years it was he who constantly felt the need to grovel at the feet of everyone alive, begging for absolution for merely *existing*. The vampire had absolutely no idea what to say.

Giles frowned, :: I understand if you feel you cannot give it just yet...::

Angel took a step closer to the man, then hesitated, as if thinking the better of it. ::Youre not gonna hit me again, are you?:: the vampire grinned.

The tension was broken with a laugh. ::No, Im quite done with that. I rather think I broke my hand on your face, actually.::

Angel swallowed, ::Giles, I -- I have no idea what you want me to forgive you for. After all I did...I dont --::

::I want you to forgive me for not taking better care of her.:: The Watcher whispered. There was no mistaking the heartbreak and shame in the softly spoken words. The vampire closed his eyes as he realized what Giles meant.

::Gods, Giles,. thats not your fault....none of this is...its not anyones fault.:: Angel thought back to the similar words Will had used to assure him of that, not weeks ago. He was amazed to discover he actually believed them now.

The Watcher was standing with his back facing Angel, and the vampire could see the defeated posture and the subtle, rythmic shaking of the strong shoulders. It occured to Angel that Giles probably would not have allowed himself to cry in front of the others. He would have held it in..been strong for them...how long he had considered them all his family...his... children. And now it came to this....

((Blood of a new and everlasting covenant))

Without thinking, Angel placed a hand on Giles shoulder in comfort. Again, words fell unbidden from his tongue. ::Youre forgiven, Giles. For everything you did and never did, for everything you could have done, youre forgiven. I forgive you. Buffy forgives you.::

The vampire was amazed at the tremor in his voice, the bitter taste of tears in his throat. How was it possible that speaking those words was akin to recieving them?

((We are not worthy, but Lord say the word and we shall be healed))

The two men stood for a long while, staring at the illusory gates.

************************************************************************

Spike stood over the immobile body of the larger vampire, the blood flowing freely from his slashed wrist into the dark haired mans mouth.

A message. The witch had told him he had to send Angel a message. To find the portal. To get Giles. To come home.

It felt so strange to be feeding him this way. Almost... parental. But there was no suckling at the wound, no tongue lapping up the precious drops.

Just a faint movement of the long neck...Adams apple bobbing up and down...the blood dissapearing.

((Home...Angel...))

************************************************************************

::Do you have any idea how to get back home?:: Angel asked, aware that the longer he stood here, the less he seemed to care about ever leaving. On some level, he knew this was myth. Sugar coated in demon enhanced sensations, but nonetheless, essentially nothing more than an optical illusion. He knew that Spike would be worried about him. The others worried about Giles.

But there was some ...force summoning him from just the other side of this magnificent barrier. It had no voice, not even inside his head. This sensation predated even verbal memory. Although if he listened closely enough, he thought he could make out the faint sound of a steady beat. A heartbeat.

The lure of a human heartbeat to a vampire. The contentment of a lovers heartbeat as a human. The lull of a mothers heartbeat from within the womb.

It was primal, and utterly irresistable. Angel hadnt felt its like since ...since he had been a man.

It was comfort.

And he wanted it.

The more he stared at the majestic gates shooting like flames into the darkened sky, the more he wanted to crawl inside them. Bang on them incessently if necessary until someone or something swung them wide and beckoned --

::Angel!:: he snapped his head round at the sharp tone. ::Stop staring at it.::

The vampire appeared dazed for a moment, then he nodded slowly. ::It--I think it wants me.::

Giles frowned. ::And the Devil shall tempt thee with finery.::

::Im a little rusty on all this...care to translate?::

::If it does want you, it cant be good --::, catching the look on the vampires face, the Watcher quickly amended, ::because Heaven knows youre not done on Earth quite yet. Youre needed, for something....What Im saying is that if *this*, whatever this is, is trying to take you away from your duties, then it cannot be the Powers of Goodness.::

::The Powers That Be,:: Angel said quietly.

::Yes, quite. This is not them. Which begs the question, how do we get back?::

Angel looked momentarily alarmed. ::I thought you came here to rescue me. Dont you know how to get back?::

::Well, Ripper always barked a bit bigger than his bite....Im afraid in terms of getting back, the most I can offer is that it is entirely up to you.::

((Angel!))

The vampire started. A voice. Wills voice. Inside his head.

((ANGEL!!))

Damn. Wills *loud* voice.

((Hey! Poof with the stupid hair! The witch sent the blue spinnin thing. Find the goddamn light and get yer ass back here. I dont fancy spendin any more time with these pathetic humans than I already have. And I owe you one helluva ass kickin for that shit you pulled earlier....))

All right. So he wasnt exactly Jimminy Cricket.

The vampire turned to the man. ::Giles? The spinning blue thing? That was some sort of door?::

::Yes....into your ..well...your head one supposes. And out of it...Only now that its gone, we really have no way of-----::

::You were saying?:: Angel pointed East, in the direction of the gathering clouds, and a blinding blue light.

*****