*****

Angel watched Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn leave the Hyperion for what was probably the last time, and then he turned and walked up to his room.

�Why�d you get rid of you�re pets?� Spike asked, he was sitting in Angel�s leather chair, one leg tossed casually over the arm, his booted foot kicking aimless in the air. �They weren�t bad company, for mortals.�

�I thought you left,� Angel said dully, standing in the doorway. �I thought you couldn�t stand the possibility of Darla seeing you like with the chip.�

�I tried Pet, but the bond�s like a scream between us. What happened? Why�d you chase off your friends?� Spike asked.

�Dru�s here,� Angel said, moving further into the room, ignoring Spike�s question. �I�d think seeing her would be even worse for you than seeing Darla.�

�Don�t change the goddamn subject Angelus! Why�d you fire them?� Spike demanded loudly, rising to his feet and placing himself directly in Angel�s path.

�I�m tired of pretending!� Angel yelled back.

�Pretending to be what?� Spike asked, staring into Angel�s eyes, trying to find his answer in the other vampire�s expression. �Good? Remorseful? Souled? Human? What where you pretending to be?�

�Go away Spike,� Angel said, pushing past the blond.

�No,� Spike said, grabbing Angel�s arm and swinging the older vampire around to face him. �Talk to me. I�m not one of your little pets; the big bad vampire routine won�t scare me off. What the Hell is wrong with you?�

�Spike, let go of me,� Angel warned, flecks of gold marring his eyes. When spike failed to comply Angel punched the blond viciously in the face.

Spike staggered back, blood pouring from a split lip. �Get out of my lair,� Angel said coldly.

Spike licked his bleeding lip, his features coarsening as the demon rose to the fore. Snarling, he pounced on Angel, using his momentum to knock the larger vampire off his feet.

In a second, Angel�s fangs were bared and then the two of them were rolling across the floor. Snarling, biting, punching and kicking each other, the fight lacked even a shred of their normal grace or skill.

Angel pinned Spike under him and began pounding on the younger vampire mercilessly.

The waves of blind hate, rage and pain rolling off Angel cut through Spike�s own anger with a knife blade forged of terror. Angel could kill him by the painful expedient of splattering his brains all over the floor Spike realized, if enough of those came out it was the same as being beheaded. If someone were to ask, Spike doubted that the souled vampire could have even said who he was fighting. Spike knew he was nothing more than a convenient outlet for the feelings that had overwhelmed Angel, but that wouldn�t make the blonde any less dust once this was over.

�Fear was a wonderful focuser,� Spike thought as he tossed Angel away from him using a judo throw. Spike rolled hurriedly to his feet and met Angel�s charge with a well-placed kick, knocking the dark haired vampire over a chair.

Spike circled cautiously, he didn�t dare let Angel close with him again. Angel was almost a head taller than Spike and built more heavily than the slight blonde. He was also almost twice Spike�s age and for vampires that translated into being much stronger. All that Spike had in his favor was the anger clouding Angel�s mind precluding any strategy or rational thought.

Spike fell into a pattern of kick, punch, and retreat, gradually moving the fight out of the confines of Angel�s apartment and into the hotel proper. Space was a good thing Spike decided.

Spike sidestepped another of Angel�s blind charges then froze in disbelief as the other vampire struck the balcony railing and tumbled over.

Spike rushed to the edge and peered over, his features returning to their human form. Angel lay still on the tiled floor of the lobby, a halo of bright red blood forming around his head.

Spike hurried down the stairs and cautiously approached Angel, projecting concern and affection mixed with a strong dose of �Please don�t kill me,� through the bond, hoping Angel hadn�t closed it down. It felt wrong to do this, Spike had spent years walking on eggshells around Angelus when the older vampire was in a temper, but he�d never felt the need around Angel. Never feared being killed simply because he was there, until tonight.

Angel�s golden eyes blinked then softened to brown. �Will?� he asked in a confused voice.

�Please Sire, what�s happened?� Spike asked, kneeling beside Angel.

�Darla�s been turned again,� Angel said after a long pause. �I couldn�t save her, I couldn�t kill either her or Dru� Oh yeah, Dru came back, she turned Darla. Wolfram and Hart brought her here, to turn Darla because I wouldn�t. I can�t let them run around killing people, but I can�t kill them either. I thought I could, I chased them all over town, even fought them once. Maybe I could have dusted Darla before she rose, but I didn�t get there soon enough. I finally caught up to them; they were going to kill a bunch of Wolfram and Hart lawyers. Ironic really, the lawyers wanted a massacre. Holland Mannor flat out said he didn�t care who died because of his machinations. Then the girls choose his party for their games. Fitting really � I let them do their worst. I let them kill humans, I didn�t even know who exactly was there, Lindsey, Lila, Holland, they deserved it. The others� I don�t know. I didn�t know a thing about them, except they were tied to Wolfram and Hart, that was enough.�

Angel trailed off, staring vaguely at the ceiling. Spike sat silently beside him. He wanted to say, �What�s the big deal, you let some humans die, it�s what they do, comes from being mortal. Who cares, they weren�t even good humans, probably did the world a favor, you did,� but Spike knew it was a big deal to Angel, so he said nothing.

�Holland, Lindsey, Lila, the others, they begged me to save them,� Angel began again, his voice almost inaudible. �I said I didn�t care, except that wasn�t the truth, I did care, I wanted them dead. I still do� I shouldn�t, but I do. I didn�t just walk away, I locked the door, I trapped them with Dru and Darla and I left� Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn are angry with me for that.�

�So they got upset with you and you fired them?� Spike asked.

�Not really,� Angel sighed. �It�s better if they go away now. I�m only going to disappoint them, I�m not what they want me to be. I can�t just write off Dru and Darla as failures, I can�t forget that it�s my fault they�re vampires. I can feel them in my mind and I can�t kill them, it hurts too much.

Gently Spike stroked Angel�s hair.

�I�m so tired, of fighting, of pretending. They see me as their perfect Warrior. I�m not him, I�m not that strong, I never was. I�m tired of hurting, of feeling, of trying. I�m just so terribly tired Will.�

*end*