and if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home
I'll point you home

'Call And Answer' - The Barenaked Ladies

*********************************************

(several hours later)

Angel wandered down the stairway, into the lobby, soaking up the darkness and isolation like an eager sponge that had been tossed into the ocean. He had hoped to find peace, once he'd confronted Darla without succumbing to her temptation, but it was a hollow victory. He was still alone...or was he?

Someone else was there...not in this room, but nearby. Angel's acute senses lead him to the courtyard, where a lone figure sat, cross-legged, on the concrete floor, back leaning against a wall.

The moon shone in from the open roof, bathing Wesley in it's soft, yellow light. Angel involuntarily sucked in a breath, as he remembered the last time he'd been alone with Wesley, under the moonlight. Closing his eyes, he tried to conjure up the sound of crashing waves, but was met only with continued silence.

Angel hesitated, not knowing whether to leave his friend in peace, or go to him. The soothing light, beaming in, caught on the bottle Wesley was raising to his lips, casting an eerie pattern on the floor in front of him.

"Hello, Angel."

The vampire visibly flinched. Wes wasn't facing him; how had he known he was there? Angel came down the stairs, then stopped again. Wesley turned to him, at last, the expression on his face unreadable. The man's mouth was pursed tight, his lips thin, but there was no anger in his dark, blue eyes. Those were fixed on him, wide and unwavering, almost pleading - but for what?

Wes raised the bottle of scotch to Angel, in a gesture of invitation, and Angel finally shook free, moving to join his slightly swaying associate on the hard ground. Accepting the bottle, the vamp took a long swig, before setting it far to his other side. Wesley scowled slightly, at the obvious gesture, but said nothing.

For a long time, neither of them spoke, Wesley contemplating his own hands thoughtfully. Angel followed his gaze, and also seemed transfixed by Wesley's long, slender fingers, as he fiddled with the cap from the scotch bottle. A need to feel those fingers touching him swept over Angel, in an overwhelming wave of desire, and he reached out, covering Wesley's hands with one of his own.

For one terrifyingly drawn-out moment, Wesley sat frozen, Angel fearing he would draw away from him, when, at last, the younger man raised his chin, briefly staring at the wall across the way, before turning his head in Angel's direction, a slight smile gracing his lips.

"I'm sorry," they both said, in unison, embarrassed grins following.

"So, what are you still doing here? I thought you'd be out somewhere, with your new girlfriend." Angel immediately wished he could take it back, as the smile faded from Wesley's face and he turned away from his vampire employer again.

"She's *not* my girlfriend, Angel," Wesley whispered, guilt lacing his voice. "I came back here, because when I drink in public, I tend to do...stupid things."

At any other time, amusing images of Wesley dancing on a table, with a lampshade on his head, might have come to mind, but Angel wasn't feeling particularly amused.

"So, why drink at all?"

Wesley's head whipped around, his face twisted into a remarkable imitation of Cordelia's 'well, duh!' face. "Because I haven't been very happy lately," he snapped, annoyed at Angel's obtuseness.

It had been a long day, and Angel didn't have alot of patience with Wesley's snippiness. "And that's all *my* fault?" he snapped back.

"Well, let's see...you make dates with me, and then don't show up; you claim to want to have a relationship, and then ignore me, when at all possible. I know you've been suffering, but you won't let me help you, and you'd rather spend your days and nights having erotic dreams about a dead vampire - who, as it turns out, isn't all that dead after all - than be with me...so, I'm thinking... YES!"

Angel was taken aback. He'd not seen Wesley this angry with him since...since they'd argued about Angel helping Faith, after she'd tortured the former Watcher. Wesley's eyes were flashing, almost daring him to deny the accusations. Angel couldn't...but he wasn't going to let Wes off the hook either.

"So, how does it feel?"

"Wha - what?" Wes was thrown by the question.

"Well, you're not a virgin anymore. How was it?" Angel's satisfaction at Wesley's sudden blush and discomfort turned quickly to remorse. That damned guilt complex kicked in too easily sometimes.

Wesley was mumbling. "When...when I said that...that night we...that night on the beach..." Clearly, this was not a subject he was comfortable with, but he continued anyway. "...what I truly meant was, that I'd never *been* with someone I cared about...was in love with...I'd had things *done* to me - all boys school, you know - inevitable - and I have had...a few encounters with women..." And now Wes was searching out understanding in Angel's eyes. "With you it would be different. It would *mean* something. I love you."

His words hung between them, and neither man spoke for a full minute.

"You hurt me, Angel." Wesley's voice was soft, yet determined, when he continued. "You brushed me aside - again - for *her*, Bethany. I was angry, and hurt...and drunk. She...Ashley, wanted me, and it felt good to be wanted by someone. I'm not proud of what I did, but..."

Angel put a finger to Wesley's lips, silencing him. "I understand, Wes. It's okay." Angel didn't really feel *okay* about it, but couldn't really blame him either.

Angel took a deep, unnecessary breath, and blew it out slowly, as he ran his hand nervously through his perfectly coifed hair. He could feel Wesley's curious gaze boring into his skull, silently nagging at him, in that unique Wesley way. Shifting around to face his companion, Angel took both of Wesley's hands in his own.

"You want to know everything? You want me to tell you about the dreams? Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." Angel paused, for dramatic effect, eyeing Wesley carefully. The other man just looked back, expectantly.

"Yeah, you were right. It started with Darla, coming to me in my dreams. I couldn't get enough of her. She was loving, and comforting, and told me she was the only one who was there for me." Wesley opened his mouth to speak, but, upon one stern vampire glare, wisely shut it again. "Then, they changed. I started dreaming about...you. It was nice, Wes, *really* nice. You and me, in bed, and I wanted you so much." Angel paused again. Wesley shifted a bit uneasily, but still remained silent, listening. "But, it never lasted. Darla was always there, and we...I...I can't say it, Wes. I can't."

Wesley pulled one of his hands free, and caressed Angel's cheek. "It's alright, Angel. You can tell me. They were only dreams."

Angel's voice grew harsh. "Don't you get it? To me, it was real! You know what I did to you...every time? I *killed* you! Every time! Sometimes, it was me alone, with Darla watching; sometimes, we did it together. Usually, I enjoyed it...I'm a monster, Wes. How can I stand to be near you, knowing what I'm capable of?!" Angel was yelling at him now, his agitation bouncing off the stone walls, like an agonized echo. "How can you bear to be near me?"

Wesley was as still as stone, a stunned expression on his face. With great deliberation, he carefully drew himself up, onto his knees, his eyes never leaving Angel's. The vampire could hear his accelerated heartbeat, and his shaking breathing. He waited, preparing himself for Wesley to flee the scene.

Without warning, Wesley shoved Angel as hard as he could, causing the stronger man to fall backward, sprawling. Wes was on top of him in an instant, his hands grabbing at fistfuls of Angel's black, silk shirt, his warm, wet mouth clamped tightly onto Angel's cool, dry one. Angel was too surprised to do anything, at first, but then slowly began to respond. He brought one hand up to Wesley's back, rubbing at it, tugging at the fabric covering it, impatiently, trying to get it out of the way. His other hand pressed at the back of Wesley's head, running mussing fingers through the short, brown hair, keeping that wonderful mouth in place. Then, just as abruptly, he pushed Wes away.

"I can't, Wes. This whole thing with Darla...it's not..."

He'd forgotten how stubborn the former Watcher could be, as another kiss cut off the rest of his protest. Gentle kisses began to move along his jawline and down his neck, with Wesley speaking softly between each one.

"It's (kiss) okay, Angel. (kiss) I want to (kiss) show you (kiss)"...Wes drew back, looking Angel directly in the eye. "...you can have me without killing me." The human had the vampire pinned to the floor by the shoulders. Both knew how easy it would be for the vamp to overpower him, but Angel continued to allow Wesley to dominate the situation.

Straddling Angel's hips, Wesley began to unfasten both sets of trousers. Each man could feel the other's increasing arousals, separated by only a few thin layers of cloth. As Wes ground into Angel, the vampire moaned, and the Watcher smiled, bending down to lick Angel's chest.

"Wes," Angel gasped. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather do this upstairs?"

"Here...now..." Wesley grunted, slipping his hand into Angel's pants, causing Angel to buck and shudder under him. All restraint was gone, as Wesley found the front of his shirt torn open, and a hand in his boxers. The rest of their clothing disappeared with lightning speed, and soon flesh was pressed to naked flesh. Precum was already leaking from Angel's rock hard shaft, and Wesley used that for lubrication, before raising up his hips, and lowering himself onto it, agonizingly slowly.

Angel tried hard not to move his hips up to meet Wesley, wanting to let him go at his own speed. He dug his fingernails into Wesley's hips, until the poor man finally laughed, "Angel! I would like to be able to walk again, after this." Chagrined, Angel loosened his grip, and closed his eyes, reveling in the feeling of Wesley riding him up and down. Wesley's erection poked at his stomach and Angel reached down to rub and pull on it. The sounds of Wesley's groans turned him on even more, and when he couldn't stand it anymore, he rolled them both over, ramming hard into him, while jerking him off at the same time. It wasn't much longer before both men reached climax, riding their mutual wave of pleasure together. Angel collapsed on top of Wesley's sweaty, pliant form, smothering him with kisses, until Wesley pushed him away, gasping for air.

"Angel, that was wonderful." Wesley smiled fondly at his lover, caressing his cheek. "I knew it would be."

Angel kissed him tenderly on the forehead, his face turning contemplative. "This isn't going to magically fix everything you know. I still have to deal with Darla."

"Shhhhh! I know. Let's not talk about it tonight, okay? And don't think you're going to have to deal with it all on your own. You're going to have to get used to the fact that I'm here for you, and I'm not going anywhere." Wesley tried to look stern, but the fact that he was lying naked under his boss, weakened his stance.

Angel looked down at him, lovingly, and kissed him again. "Well, I guess I'll just have to learn to put up with you, then, won't I?"

Wesley's response was to pull Angel to him, wrapping his long, lanky arms around him, holding him close. Angel could tell Wesley was on the verge of sleep, and settled closer, burying his face in the younger man's neck, and allowing sleep to claim him too. He was confident his dreams were going to be nothing but pleasant this time. He had Wesley there to protect him.

~~~The End~~~