The pounding on the door became more insistent as Angel came down the stairs. He had hoped that the person would give up and go away, but the doorbell-ringing and knocking had gone on for twenty minutes. He'd sighed in relief when it had stopped, but then he heard the shattering of glass as someone threw a stone through a window. Annoyed, he got up and headed down to deal with the intruder. He was annoyed that someone could not read the sign that clearly said "CLOSED." He became even more annoyed when he recognized the voice shouting his name. He jerked the door open and she stumbled against him. She righted herself and straightened her clothing. She took a step forward and when he didn't budge, gestured for him to move aside. Angel merely looked at her.

"Well? May I come in?"

"What do you want, Cordelia?"

"I want to come in." Angel started to shut the door, but she pushed against it. "Wait, this is important! I had a vision."

"I'm sure you did. But I'm not in that racket anymore." He added pointedly, "As you know."

"No, it's not like that. This one was about you."

"I can take care of myself," Angel said, starting to close the door again. But Cordelia got her foot in the way. She wavered, unsure of how the next piece of information would be received.

"It's not just you. It's also," she hesitated again. Angel gestured impatiently for her to continue. "It's also about Buffy's boyfriend Riley," she said in a rush, scrunching her face as she studied his for a reaction.

Without the hint of an expression, he told her, "It's already happened. He's fine." And with that, he pushed her foot out of the way and closed the door. Cordelia immediately began pounding on it again.

"Wait! Angel! Angel, listen to me! I don't know what's happened, but I don't think it's what I saw! Angel, open this door! I know you can hear me! You have to listen!" She stamped her foot in frustration. "Fine, Angel! That's just fine! You're leaving me with no choice!" she warned him cryptically.

Angel returned to the room in which he had placed his patient. A deathly pallor still clung to his skin, but his breathing was audible and regular and Angel knew he would live. The sympathetic doctor he'd called in as a special favor had assured him of that. Of course he'd known someone was watching and following him, but with recent events he'd just assumed it was Wesley or Gunn. So he hadn't done anything about it, except lose them a couple of times. Clearly, he'd have to be more careful in the future.

Angel removed the washcloth on the boy's forehead and replaced it with a cool fresh one. Riley stirred and murmured his name. Apparently the boy *had* seen him before losing consciousness, for he'd called to Angel several times in his fevered state. Angel smoothed back the boy's hair. Then he sat in the chair, to watch over him and lose himself in his own thoughts.

+++

The pounding on the door was back the very next evening. ~Christ, Cordelia's stubborn!,~ Angel thought as he went down the stairs. She began to lean heavily on the doorbell, and Angel paused just long enough to rip out the wires before opening the door.

"Buffy," he greeted her with mild surprise.

"How are you, Angel?"

"What brings you here?" he asked, blocking the doorway.

After Cordelia's call, Buffy had come straight to L.A. with every intention of bringing Riley back with her. Cordy had said Angel was in trouble, too, and Buffy hadn't known what to think of that. Just another thing to deal with once she got there. Standing on his doorstep now, she didn't know what to do. Riley first, then Angel, she decided.

"I'm here for Riley."

"He can't be moved right now," Angel told her.

Buffy's brow furrowed with worry. "What happened - How is he? Is he okay?"

"Yes."

"Are *you*?"

"Goodbye, Buffy," Angel said, shutting the door.

Buffy stood there for a moment. What was that about? Was she supposed to break down the door, demand to know if he was okay, offer to help him in any way she could? Exasperated, she walked away: She had no time for little boys and their little games right now. She had a lot to deal with, with the Glory Situation and all. Angel and Riley would just have to take care of themselves for awhile, until she could come back after she saved the world again.

When Angel returned to Riley's room, he found the boy had tossed his blanket aside restlessly. Angel bent to retrieve it, but as he covered Riley he stopped to look at the track marks covering the boy's arms. He had been alarmed when he had first seen them. Riley hadn't been an innocent victim out in that alleyway. He'd *wanted* it, but it had obviously gone too far that time. Angel sort of liked looking at Riley's arms covered with ugly scar tissue. He wasn't sure if it was because he was pleased that he could still feel shock and pain for a human, or because it tapped into a dark desire of his own.... He just knew he liked sitting here with Riley while he slept. And so that's all he did.

+++

Every curse in every language he knew crossed Angel's lips as he went down the stairs later that night, to answer the thunderous pounding on his door yet again. Why would the women in his life not leave him alone?! He yanked the door open with such force it nearly came off its hinges. This time, he was too surprised to greet his visitor by name.

The platinum-haired vampire grinned at him. "I don't suppose I could come in?"

"What do you want, Spike?"

"I want what everyone wants, Peaches." He lifted his chin towards the stairs. "I want the little pet you've got hidden away up there."

"Did Buffy send you?" Angel asked. "What's in it for you?" But before Spike could respond, Angel suddenly *knew*. He brought his hand up to his own throat and placed his fingers in the spot where someone had punctured Riley. "Did you have something to do with that?"

"You could say that," Spike acknowledged with a smirk.

"Go away, Spike."

Following the now-familiar pattern of Angel's recent visitors, Spike was not to be deterred by simple words. "I heard you might be coming back to our side," he said, cocking his head. When Angel didn't deny it, he continued, "Well, if you don't care about saving human lives anymore, what do you want with him?" He studied Angel's unresponsive face. "Oh, it's like *that*, is it?"

"Like what, Spike?"

"I had him first, you know. By rights he's mine."

Angel simply looked at Spike. "But it's not your name he's calling in his sleep." He let that sink in. "You can't come in, Spike."

As the door closed in his face, Spike grinned wickedly. He knew Angelus well enough to know that that was Angel he'd been talking to, Angel just trying to get a rise out of him. But he also knew Angel well enough to sense something deeper beneath the mocking words.

+++

Not long after, Angel went into Riley's room and found the boy awake, sitting up weakly and looking around himself uncertainly. When he saw Angel, Riley just looked at him.

~It's okay,~ Angel wanted to say. ~I'm not going to hurt you.~ Instead, he leaned in the doorway and said, "You've had some visitors." When Riley didn't respond, he continued, "Buffy and Spike came to see you." Riley rolled onto his side, facing the wall.

"Together?" he asked.

"No." There was no response. "I sent them away but if-"

"Good," Riley cut him off. Angel stood in the doorway for a moment longer before leaving Riley alone.

Over the next couple of days, as Riley grew stronger, Angel continued to check in and bring him food, but mostly left the boy alone. They never spoke. Then one evening Riley came down the stairs.

"It's quiet around here," he observed.

"I like the quiet."

Riley looked momentarily abashed. "I mean, I thought you had an investigative agency," he explained. "But I haven't heard anyone."

"I sent everyone away."

"Because of me?" Riley asked. Angel almost smiled.

"No," he said. "Because they wouldn't leave me alone."

"Oh." Riley shifted uncomfortably. "I'll be going, then."

Angel looked at him calmly. "You don't have to go. You're not bothering me."

A smile played at Riley's mouth. "Yeah," he said almost to himself. "I'm good at keeping quiet, following orders, being Invisible Boy." He laughed then. Angel found the sound pleasant, and smiled in return.

+++

It seems you hide behind the make-up
And turn it all around
Like a circus clown,
Laughing at the crowd.

They fell into a compatible pattern, both sleeping during the day and rising in the evening. And Riley was right: He *was* good at keeping quiet. He could sit there with Angel, reading or watching television or playing cards or just thinking, and be quiet. Not quiet in a way so that Angel would forget he was there; quiet in a way so that Angel found he not only didn't mind Riley's company, he actually began to enjoy it. He even began initiating conversations with Riley, about whatever came to mind. And he was pleased to discover that Riley had a great sense of humor.

+++

Riley was in love with Angel. He knew he was, and he didn't try to fight it. He didn't try to do anything about it, either. It was enough just to be around him. When Angel began talking to him, Riley found himself smiling and laughing, making light of everything and telling the most terrible jokes, and laughing in embarrassment at his own terrible jokes. Angel never laughed at the jokes, but sometimes when Riley would laugh, Angel would smile. It made Riley's heart skip a beat every time Angel smiled at him. He was so in love with Angel, and it was enough just to be the one who made him smile.

+++

Riley often smiled, and though it was a genuine (and beautiful) smile, Angel sensed something behind it. Then it hit him, and he couldn't believe he had been so blind and stupid.

That night he came in and found Riley watching a WWII program on the History Channel. He dropped a brown paper sack in the boy's lap. Riley glanced at it and then looked at Angel questioningly.

"Go ahead," Angel said, sitting beside him and gesturing for him to open it. Riley pulled out a huge bag of Hershey's kisses. Now he looked seriously puzzled. "Sugar and caffeine," Angel explained with a smile. "A little rush. Should help scratch that itch in your blood." Riley ducked his head and blushed. He knew that Angel must have seen the marks all over his arms, but he had never asked about them. To cover his nervousness, Riley opened the bag, unwrapped a kiss, and popped it in his mouth. When he glanced over, Angel's attention was fixed on the television. Riley, too, turned his attention to the flickering screen, popping kiss after kiss. Half-way through the bag, he laughed. Angel turned to him with raised eyebrows.

"I was just thinking," Riley said, stuffing another kiss in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed while Angel watched. "Will you still love me if I get to be 300 pounds?" An easy grin crossed his face. Angel smiled and shook his head in amusement, affectionately slapping the back of Riley's neck as he turned back to the television. Before he'd turned all the way, though, his attention was back on Riley, who had flinched badly at the touch. Angel hadn't touched him since the boy had regained consciousness, but he didn't know why it would be such cause for alarm. Looking at Riley again, Angel noticed the scars on his throat. Too intimate. So he reached over and lightly touched the marks on his wrist instead. Riley jumped as if burned by Angel's fingers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

Riley looked away. "No." He looked so forlorn for a second that Angel wanted to reach out to him again, but then Riley turned to him with a suggestive, mischievous grin and held out a silver-foiled chocolate. "Do you want a kiss?" Angel smiled, accepted the candy and turned back to the television, resolved to be there for Riley when he decided he was ready to talk. Angel could be good at keeping quiet at the right times, too.

+++

I wanna get closer to you
I wanna be the blood inside your veins
I wanna get closer
Closer that you've ever seen
I wanna be inside you.

Riley began doing work around the hotel to keep himself busy, repairing the window Cordelia had broken and doing little improvement jobs here and there. Angel was pleased: Not only was the boy good company, he was useful, too. He thought he might just have to keep Riley around, and once said so playfully. He even went out and got Riley a new toolset. When Riley thanked him, Angel just said, "Sure."

"No, I mean," Riley put the tools down and looked at Angel. "I never thanked you. For, what you did." He took a deep breath. "So. Thank you." He held out his hand. Angel looked at it, then shook it.

"Anytime, Riley."

Riley got to work with the new tools immediately. A short time later, Angel heard Riley yelp in pain. In an instant he was at his side. Riley was holding up his hand and looking at it, more startled than anything else. When Angel turned it toward him, he saw a large splinter of steel cable embedded in the heel of Riley's hand.

"How did you do this?" Angel asked him.

"I don't know." Riley seemed embarrassed. "I guess I just wasn't paying attention for a moment." ~I was thinking about what a dork I was to shake your hand, when all I wanted was to kiss you....~

Angel gave the splinter an experimental tug, but he couldn't get a proper grip with his fingers. Holding Riley's hand steady with both of his own, Angel bent and took the splinter in his teeth, pulling it out carefully. Then without really thinking, he licked the blood from Riley's hand. It tasted so good, felt so good....

When Angel licked the palm of his hand, Riley sucked in his breath softly and held it. He couldn't believe this was really happening. Looking at Angel, Riley thought that even his demon face was strangely beautiful. ~Oh, Angel, Angel,~ Riley prayed, ~yes, please, please don't stop, anything you need, whatever you want....~ He wanted to touch Angel's hair, his beautiful demonface, but he was afraid to move, afraid to breathe... and then the softest whimper escaped his lips. Angel's head snapped up, he dropped Riley's hand. The spell was broken, but still Riley couldn't speak. Realizing what he'd done, Angel turned and fled.

Riley watched him go helplessly. After a moment, he got the first aid kit and bandaged his hand. Suddenly he felt tired, and went to rest on his bed. But sleep wouldn't come, he couldn't get Angel out of his mind. He touched his cut through the bandage, remembering Angel's mouth on him. The wound was tender, so Riley slid down and touched the scar tissue on his wrist. He remembered Jamie kneeling between his legs, how he had imagined it was Angel, wondered what it would *really* be like with Angel. He thought about Spike, and the unnamed vampire in the Sunset alleyway, and broughthis injured hand to his throat, fingering the holes there. With his free hand, he unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped them, shifted to get better access to himself. ~It was never any of them,~ he told himself. ~It was only Angel.~ Grasping his cock firmly, he ran his forefinger over the head, swirling the moisture. His hand dropped down farther and he cupped his balls, squeezing them together as he continued to rub his thumb back and forth across the scar tissue on his throat. ~It was always Angel.~ He touched himself experimentally, tracing the vein along the underside as if feeling it for the first time, palming the head and massaging the precum into the shaft, teasing himself with tentativeness before starting a slow up and down rhythm on his cock, gradually increasing the pressure as his breathing deepened. As the friction began to irritate, interfering with his pleasure, Riley tore the bandage off his hand with his teeth and pressed until the wound reopened fully, using his fingers to coat the palm with blood. Then he switched hands, closing his injured hand in a fist around his cock, the warm wet blood slickening his strokes, pumping harder and faster until his body tensed and he felt his cum shoot out and land on his stomach. Releasing his still-hard cock, he trailed his hand up his stomach, mixing his blood with his cum, tracing a path to his mouth. Touched his lips hesitantly, then licked his finger - ~Is this what I would taste like to you?~ He let his hand fall back to his chest.

He was still for a moment. Then he went into the bathroom, cleaned himself off and re-bandaged his hand. As he was leaving, he caught his reflection in the mirror. He studied himself for a long moment.

~What are you doing, Riley?~ he asked himself silently. Then he shook his head in disgust.

+++

Angel wandered through the streets almost blindly, so deep in thought he hardly saw where he was going. This incident was forcing him to confront some things he hadn't wanted to think about much. He was still hovering dangerously between Angel and Angelus. But with Riley around, he was leaning towards Angel. Somehow Riley was keeping Angelus at bay. That felt right. Angel didn't want to lose his soul. And that meant not losing Riley. He had to go back and apologize. He stopped and looked up at the street signs to get his bearings, then hastened home.

But what could he say to get Riley to stay? Would he even be there still? The look on his face... and then Angel realized that it had not been the look of fear. There had been desire, yes. But it had not been just the look of a junkie getting a fix. Riley had looked at him with *compassion*. Angel felt his stomach flutter and tumble. He hurried up the steps.

The door opened before he could turn the knob. And there was Riley.

Riley with a duffel bag in his hand.

Riley leaving.

*****