*****

"But I don't *like* cucumbers!" Spike protested. Xander shook his head and continued to slice them into the salad in front of Spike. It really wasn't fair. There should be an age after which you *couldn't* be forced to eat your green veggies. A hundred, say. Maybe a hundred and two for the really immature, which he, Spike, was not. So there.

"Nobody said you had to eat them, Spike," Xander said in a reasonable tone. It was the tone that said 'nothing you do or say is going to annoy me'. It was, in other words, a challenge.

"Well, you always smack me on the head when I leave 'em on the side of my plate. S'pose I could wander down to the lobby and give 'em to Princess to put on her eyelids..."

"You can if you want to," Xander agreed. He continued dumping the sliced vegetables into the bowl.

"And tell her you said she looked like she needed 'em..."

Xander just smiled as if Spike had offered to do the vacuuming then rub Xander's feet, afterwards. Spike narrowed his eyes to slits. It helped him concentrate on the task at hand, plus he didn't have to look at the slimy cucumber slices. "Or I could pick 'em all out and use 'em to decorate with. Your original Trek series diorama could use some new transporter pads."

"Oo, and they're the right size." Xander nodded. He whistled as he turned around and headed to the refrigerator, whistled as he retrieved a pint of cherry tomatoes. No, the correct answer was 'You're not letting those slimy things come within an inch of my collector's edition Kirk and Spock figures.' That was the attitude Xander had expressed when he caught Spike putting the two men in a compromising position on the Enterprise bridge set, anyhow. The slimy things being referred to at the time were Spike's fingers, of course.

"Oh, now *these* I like." Spike fished one of the cherry tomatoes out of the bowl with his fingers, vamped out, and commenced to sucking on it. Xander gave him another look that said 'isn't he adorable?' and continued making the salad. Spike finished off the tomato with a satisfied slurp, then glared at Xander. "You aren't planning on putting garlic ranch on it, or something, are you?"

Xander held up the blue cheese dressing, by way of reply. He glanced up and gave Spike another flash of a truly happy smile, then looked around. "Didn't we have Bac-Os?"

"Fed 'em to the kids."

"They like 'em?" Xander asked, sounding surprised and interested. Not at all annoyed. Spike was beginning to wonder if he'd woken up on the wrong side of the parallel dimension.

"Well, Gomer does. Goober just sort of looked at 'em, and Hubert tried to feed them to the bubbly diver." Helga would've liked them, but...they didn't talk about Helga. Ever.

"How could a piranha feed Bac-Os to a bubbly diver?" Xander paused in his salad-making to give Spike a confused look. "Don't you need hands for that?"

"Mouth to mouth. Cute, really. Looked like he was kissin' him."

Xander opened his mouth, then a moment later, closed it. He started searching the kitchen counter-tops for something else, still looking a little disturbed. Maybe Spike was winning, then. He pushed on with his campaign. "Speaking of which, I think Gomer's pregnant."

"Really?" Xander dropped the carrot he'd picked up. "Really? How can you tell? Really?" He suddenly ran out of the kitchen towards the tank, where he leaned over and peered at Gomer.

"Well, she's awfully fat these days..." Might've had something to do with having eaten her fourth bubbly diver this month, but he didn't need to mention that.

Xander was staring at the piranha, head moving up and down and back and forth as she swam. "Wow.. we'll need a bigger tank. Maybe we can give some of the babies away when they're old enough. Cordy'll take a couple...."

Spike figured it was about time to use the one he'd been holding in reserve, since Xander was just perched on the brink, and all it would take would be one good push to knock him over into the mental piranha tank. "Yeah, seein' as we're about to be grandparents and all..."

Xander looked up at him, grinning widely. "At least one of us is old enough to be a grandpa."

"Yeah, and don't you think it's time you made an honest man of him?" Spike gazed back with his best attempt at sincerity. Ker-splash. Spike could see it in Xander's eyes. Mouth still grinning, because apparently his brain was no longer sending signals that far down. Only his eyes were registering the 'buh buh buh buh.'

"Honest?" he managed to ask.

Spike waved the distinction away with a flitter of his fingers, and got down to nibbling on the end of a carrot. "Dishonest. Whatever. I mean, wanna get married?"

Xander stood up, and looked at him carefully. "Why do you wanna get married all of a sudden?"

"Well, *I'm* not pregnant, if that's what you're asking." Spike continued to nibble. "But Dru called last week, and it got me to thinkin'. She says the kids are always complaining to her in her head. Sayin' they're confused, and they don't have a stable homelife." There he went again. Splash. Right into the mental piranha tank. If Xander didn't say something soon, Spike was going to have to offer him oxygen. Or something. He watched as Xander walked over to the couch and sat down, then stared at the opposite wall.

When he spoke, he sounded as if he were talking to himself. "Dru said the kids were complaining...they're confused, well of course they're confused, they're being raised by gay non-piranhas. What's not to be confused about?"

"She also said to tell them Auntie Dru was sending them another box of Black Widows to eat, because, quote, *I* still love you, even if your daddies are living in sin and obviously don't care about your feelings at all. Unquote." He looked pointedly at Xander. "Thought I'd warn you about that, since the last time you opened a care-package from Dru, I had to pry you off the ceiling."

Xander nodded, not looking at him. Spike wasn't sure if Xander was really listening. Xander suddenly shot him a look, then got up and went over to the phone. If he thought he was going to call Dru to check up on Spike's story, he'd be getting a surprise. Dru really had said all that. Spike had just blown it off at the time, but... Xander dialed a number, eleven digits so it was long distance. He stood at the phone quietly, then whoever it was answered.

"Hey, sorry to bother you," Xander said, giving Spike not a clue who he'd called. "Can I ask you something?"

It was times like this that made Spike wish Xander hadn't put a sound-dimmer on the phone so that he couldn't, purely out of concern for his loved one's emotional well-being, use his super-sensitive hearing to eavesdrop on both sides of a conversation.

"Am I in an alternate reality?" There was a pause. "OK, have I been cursed?" A shorter pause. "No, not that one. I mean another curse. Something like 'may you never know normality'."

Spike ticked the clues off on his fingers: Born on a Hellmouth. Grew up with Willow Rosenberg. Dated more demons than Spike had. Actually *liked* the Benny Hill Show. Actually liked cucumbers... He'd run out of fingers and was starting on his toes before Xander spoke again.

"No, it's just that Drusilla said the children -- the piranhas -- are unhappy because Spike and I aren't married. So he asked me to marry him. Something about a stable homelife." There was a pause while Xander listened, with a serious expression. Spike was a little too busy enjoying the sight of Xander being fed to the bubbly diver in the mental piranha tank, to wonder too hard about who was on the other end of the line. He'd undoubtedly regret it in the morning, as usual.

"Would you? I appreciate it. No, no don't break it if I've got one. I just wanna know." There was a longer pause during which Xander's expression didn't change. "Well, yeah. Hey, I dunno what kind of ceremony we'll be having, but if it's relevant, could you give me away?"

Well, that meant it was Giles on the other end and.... Splooosh.

Xander smiled sheepishly. "Thanks. Yeah, go ahead. We'll stay offline so everyone can call us all weekend." Another short pause. "Do you know how to tell if a piranha is pregnant?"

Why was Spike suddenly swimming in the tank himself, with Gomer taking far-too-large nips at sensitive portions of his anatomy?

Xander was still talking to Giles, apparently unaware of his boyfriend-fiance's predicament. "Yes, yes, I will. I promise. No. OK, yes. Yeah, that would be great-- haven't seen you guys since the brunch last month..."

Unless the cucumber-lover was trying to play with *Spike's* head. Yeah. That had to be it. He seized on that one hope as if it were an unlife-preserver that had just been thrown into the piranha tank. And if that was the case, he couldn't possibly let Xander think he was scared. Nope. Xander was hanging up the phone, and turned back towards him. His shy, half-smile faded as he caught sight of Spike. He hurried over and stopped right in front of Spike, nearly nose-to-nose with him. Why was the theme from _High Noon_ playing in the back of Spike's head? He swallowed a bit of stray carrot, and ventured, "Um...?"

Xander put his hands on Spike's face. Looked at him seriously. "Did I say 'yes'?"

Uh... No, but... Waitaminute! Spike sniffed uncertainly. "You mean you don't want to marry me?"

Xander rolled his eyes. "Not 'did I say *yes*', dolt. Did I *say* yes. As in, did I say it out loud so brain-defunct evil people could understand me, or did I imply it loudly so that only the kids could understand?" He nodded towards the tank where the piranha were swimming...happily. Oh. At least *they* were no longer confused, then. Spike gulped.

"No?"

"I'm not sure which that's the answer to, so I'm going to assume you have no idea, either." Xander sighed. Then he leaned forward and kissed Spike. It was a long, slow, happy kiss, which made Spike willing to forget all about cucumbers and fish and marriages. Then Xander stopped, and looked at him. "You *did* ask me, right? You weren't just joking around?"

Spike looked at the ceiling. Then he looked at the floor. Then he looked at the piranha tank. Then he looked at the salad. Then he... A finger brushed his chin. He looked at Xander.

"I'll make a really terrible husband, you know," he offered. "I mean, I never do the dishes, and I can't even set the VCR properly, and..."

"And I've lived with you for years already, and I know where to hide your shoes so you can't ever find them." Xander wrapped his arms around Spike. "Hey, do *you* wanna be the one to tell Dru we're making the kids unhappy? Or would you rather tell Angel he has to pay for the wedding Cordelia's going to organize?"

Spike leaned his head on Xander's shoulder. How did he get himself into these things again? "I... Y'know, the last time I blew off one of Dru's visions, my eyebrows got burnt off by a wyvvern."

"That was last month."

"Yeah, but I have a short attention-span." Spike thought for a minute. "Hey-- I asked *you*!"

Xander rolled his eyes. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's not *that* short. Since I asked you, that makes *you* the bride. So our Rupert has to pay for the wedding. Nyah-nyah."

"Chicken."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not am not am not am no---" Spike suddenly found his profound speech cut off by a pair of salad-and-Xander-flavored lips. He licked the tongue heading for his, licked at it again as it went away.

Xander leaned back and said, "Are. You don't want to tell Angel he has to spend lots of money making an honest vampire of you, so you're trying to get me to pay for it since you know I won't actually ask Giles to."

Spike looked carefully at the piranha tank. Gomer appeared to be chatting up the new bubbly diver. Perhaps she'd make nice with this one. Perhaps hell would freeze over. Perhaps he'd admit that he had indeed intended exactly what Xander was suggesting. Or not. "Maybe it won't cost all that much. We can get married in the hotel, right? And it don't have to be formal. Maybe in the pool. Wes could wear that suit with the stripe. And the thong twins could be ushers."

Xander snorted. "Spike, Gunn and Angel will kill us all before they let Wes appear in public in that suit again. And if we try to suggest he wear it at a *ceremony*, there won't be enough of either of us left to fill a fish tank." Then Xander grew thoughtful.

Spike frowned, and tried to peek underneath the dark lashes to see into Xander's eyes. "What?"

"You know...if my public relations department issues a press release...."

"Then all the horns-n-slime glad-rags will want to come take pictures of the editor of _Demon Lovers_ gettin' married to one. An' they'll give us pressies, right? "

"I'll be able to write off a small portion of the wedding as a business expense. Feeding all those photographers...." Xander grinned. "And yes, they'll give us presents."

"Ooh, I knew I loved you for your mind." Spike frowned again. "Of course, this means you'll have to tell Rupert what you do for a living..."

"What?" Xander was looking at him, with *that* grin in his eyes.

"Publish naked piccies of demons that ain't as pretty as me." Then Xander was grinning at him like he was an idiot. "Well, I don't see why you won't put my picture in there..." Spike pouted just a little, because he knew he could get away with it.

"Spike, what makes you think Giles doesn't know what I do for a living?"

Spike frowned, then grinned. Really? "You mean our Rupes reads the demonic skin mags as well as carries on with that chaos bloke every so often? What's the world coming to?"

Xander whapped him on the head. "He doesn't *read* them. Well, that I know of. But he does carry them, in the back room of his shop. But he knows because I told him. I told him when I got the job as copy-boy, told him about every promotion. Told him when I decided to buy the thing from Wallace, and turned it into a decent, successful, money-making little enterprise." Then Xander hit him again. "And he doesn't carry on with Ethan. Eew."

If Xander said so. Maybe they really were just friends. Rupert did seem awfully cozy with Anya these days... "So how's come you let us all think he didn't know and we had to scurry round behind his back and cover things up?" Spike paused, and held up his hand. "Wait, don't answer that, it was a stupid question."

Xander was just still grinning. "You all have been pretty funny, trying to keep him from finding out, the last two years. No one ever asked how he could afford to fly to Bermuda every autumn for two weeks."

Spike shrugged. "I just thought he was spending the loot we carted out of the Initiative vault-rooms." Xander gave him a Look. "Which you weren't supposed to know about. Because it was a Bad Thing."

"Spike, do I need to ask you what you did?" For a moment, Xander sounded spookily like his Sire.

"Will you still love me no matter what?"

Xander scowled at him. "No. What did you do?"

"I'm not telling you until you promise you'll still love me."

"It's that bad?" Xander shook his head, and went to sit down. He visibly steeled himself, muttered under his breath and glanced at the fish tank. "OK. I'm ready. I'll still love you, Spike, no matter what you did. Even if I feel obligated to chain you in a closet for a year to keep you out of trouble."

"Will you come in the closet with me?"

"For conjugals, yeah. Unless Angel changes his mind--" Xander rolled his eyes. "Oh for pete's sake, stop pouting."

Spike grinned. "We popped back in while they were mopping up, back in two thousand, and liberated a bit of their ready cash from the vaults. Since Frankenwhozit was nice enough to unlock all the doors before Buffy ripped his nuclear furnace out, it seemed like the thing to do." He peered up at Xander through his own hopefully-not-too-resistible dark eyelashes, and detected a lifting of one fuzzy black brow on his lover. Oops. Fiance. Probably. Assuming the marriage wasn't called on account of vampiricide.

"You stole money?"

"Well, technically Rupert stole it. I just helped carry it. Selfish bastard wouldn't give me any to keep or anything. Said I wasn't mature enough to be trusted with it. Me! I mean, I'm a good eighty-some years older than he is, and..." Spike looked back at Xander. Mostly to see if he was buying any of this.

"That's it?"

"Well... it was a *lot* of money...."

Xander waved a hand. "*Money*. Geez, Spike. Like I care about you stealing money after you've spent how many years stealing mine? Speaking of which." He got up and walked back over, and whapped Spike on the head. "You stole a bunch of money, and you still have to mooch off me?"

"I *told* you, Rupert won't give me any. Um... andImight'vestoleanucleardevice...."

"Huh - that explains why he was able to lend me the money to buy the mag."

Spike was confused. "Because I stole a nuclear device?" Then it occurred to him that perhaps Xander hadn't actually *heard* that part, and he should've kept his big mouth shut. He reached for a carrot to shove in it, and somehow ended up with a cucumber slice. Blecch.

"So what kind of nuclear device? And where *is* it?"

Spike wondered sincerely if Xander was *on* something. He didn't *smell* any weirder than usual, but he'd been in too good of a mood all morning. Even before the...ulp. Proposal. "It might not be a nuclear device. I mean, it didn't have a sign on it that said 'Nuclear Device, Don't Touch' ."

Xander continued to look interested, and say nothing.

"It.. ah... had a sign on it that said 'Not a Nuclear Device, But Don't Press This Button'. "

Xander stared at him for a moment, his expression one of sheer disbelief. "And where is it now?" he managed to ask, as he began to stifle what sounded like it would have been hysterical, out-of-control laughter. Spike studied Gomer intently. Maybe she *was* pregnant, after all. She looked like she was getting all nesty-like, cozying up to the new bubbly diver... no, wait, she was biting his head off. Well, women were supposed to do that when... He looked back at Xander, who was biting his lip, and appeared to be in serious pain. "Spike? I will always love you. If only for making me feel like the smartest guy on the planet." Then he lost all control of his laughter.

Spike sat down in the chair next to the salad, and drew his knees up, wrapping his arms around them and tucking his chin on top to seal the whole package into place. No use quivering the lower lip yet, Xander wasn't really looking at him. La la la la lalalalalala--- Xander was still laughing.

Spike busied himself with composing his give-me-money-for-my-wedding speech to Angel. At this point, it pretty much consisted of 'Give me money for my wedding.' Xander finally stopped laughing quite so hard, and he looked over at Spike. Stared for all of two seconds, then busted out laughing again. He collapsed on the floor, flat on his back. After a moment, Spike heard him trying to form words.

"Sooo...so tell...hee hee hee. Tell me which one...." Then more laughter. "Little flag? Bell go ding? Siren?"

"I don't think I *want* to marry you anymore. You're mean." This said with lower lip firmly in pout-position, and chin readied to quiver. Lock and load, Mister I'm So Smart I don't Know That I'm About To Get A Carrot Shoved Up My Arse And Not In A Happy Way.

"All *three*?" Xander gasped. "Oh, god, Spike. You should have been in the military. Any idiot knows about those signs." Then he was giggling again. It would build, then die away as he had to stop and breathe. Then he'd start up again. Then he rolled over onto his hands and knees, and starting crawling towards Spike.

"It could've been a nuclear device. It could've been a remote control nuclear device. It could've...blown up the public library in Terre Haute, Indiana when I pressed that button. *You* don't know." Engage chin-quiver. Ready, aim... fire! He'd show Xander who should've been in the military!

Xander kept crawling towards him. When he reached the chair -- apparently unfazed by the chin -- he put his hands up on Spike's knees. "Spike."

"It went bing, an' a little card popped out that said I'd just been invited into the Guild of Morons, and I should contact Riley Finn for details as to when the induction ceremony was being held. It was signed 'Forrest.' Makes me glad Captain Caveman killed the wanker."

Xander scowled at him. "Don't be. Forrest was a good guy."

Spike retracted the lower-lip-of-doom and blinked down at him. "And I'm a demon. Just cause I gave up actually *bein'* bad for some git who thinks I'm the stupidest thing on the face of the planet, don't mean I don't have the occasional bad guy thought." When the scowl didn't disappear, he sighed. "I didn't *know* him back when he was a good guy, did I? Just when he was a wanna-be Adam whose eyeball I had to stick a cigarette in to stop him from breaking my neck." His East End accent had disappeared somewhere, and he knew he sounded like Wesley, but he couldn't help it. Sometimes he had to pretend to be a grown-up. Just every so often.

"Spike," Xander said again. Spike looked down, finally. "I never said you were the dumbest guy on the planet. And I'm one of the good guys, which means I defend people like Forrest." Xander leaned forward, offering a kiss.

Spike accepted it gravely. A bit later, he replied, "Second dumbest, huh? After Billionaire David Nabbit, TM."

"No." There was no hint of laughter in his voice. What *was* there had nothing to do with nuclear devices or laughing at one's poor benighted lovers. Fiances. Whatevers. Xander took hold of Spike's wrists, and pulled him off the chair.

This isn't getting the salad made, Spike thought. He thought he thought. But there were warm hands around his wrists, and Xander was looking at him. *Looking* at him. And he was on his knees, somehow. Not thinking at all.

Xander let go of his hands. "Take your jeans off." Xander's voice was soft, firm, and still completely lacking in his earlier laughter.

How could that voice... *do* things like that to him? Spike managed to find the buttons with his fingers. All three of them-- buttons, not fingers. He wasn't doing very well at actually getting them open, though. There. One. Two. Three. Hands closed around his again as he pushed his jeans down. Helping out.

Xander's eyes never left Spike's -- as if Xander was sucking him in, bringing him inside Xander's body already, just through looking at him. Spike fumbled a little, when his jeans reached his feet. But there again, Xander was helping. Stripping him, then hands were at his waist. His shirt was pulled off, then Xander pressed his hands to Spike's chest.

"Lie down." He fell backwards, hitting his head against soft carpeting. Warm against his back. Spike closed his eyes and could still trace the shape of Xander's hands inside his head, every whorl of finger and palm print on his skin, holding him there. Burned into him.

"Roll over." Voice still soft, hard as steel. Hands turning him away from Xander, though he didn't mind, not when he felt Xander moving behind him, lying down, and felt those fingers at his arse.

His own were digging into the rug, and his mind was trying to make some kind of connection about shag carpeting, but this wasn't shagging and his mind wasn't working and there was warmth inside him. Warm fingers. Smart fingers, smarter than him, fingers that knew every inch of his body, even the places you couldn't see. Smart Xander, who knew all those places. Even the ones you couldn't touch with your fingers.

He heard a noise he knew; it took his brain a moment to place it. The snap of a cap, open then shut. A tube of lubricant, probably the one they kept under the couch. Then he felt something warm, again, then without any warning at all, Xander slid inside him. He had time to think he hadn't noticed Xander opening his jeans, then he didn't think anything as Xander thrust into him, completely.

Spike bent his head forward, glad he didn't need to gasp for air. Then Xander leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Spike, and said into his ear, "I love you."

He knew that, so why did it surprise him every time he heard it? Why did it... Spark and flame inside him like a warmer touch even than the hands on him, even than Xander inside his body. Why did it... Why did he feel like he needed to gasp for air anyway?

Then Xander pulled almost completely out, and Spike felt a wash of cold air spill through him. He opened his mouth to beg Xander not to go, then Xander was sliding in again. Whispering again as he entered. "I love you."

He pulled back, and slid forward, whispering as he thrust. Each 'I love you' punctuated by the touch of Xander's balls against Spike's buttocks. He couldn't hear anything else, not even the beating of Xander's heart, and he could always hear that. Always. From rooms away. But not now. Now all he could hear was 'I love you.' Again. Slow, steady, over and over.

It made being fucked almost inconsequential. Unimportant, distant as the smell of raw cucumbers and the sound of city traffic, way down below them. Except that each time Xander said 'I love you,' he pushed himself completely inside Spike's body. Pushed his way inside, easily as though he'd been invited to come in all the way to Spike's unbeating heart. Spike dimly realized that hands were on his body, holding him and caressing a little bit. Spreading more warmth as his lover said it yet again.

Every time he'd ever heard it, there'd been the echo in his skull. In his heart, beating or unbeating. The single-word reply that he'd never dared speak, though he asked it of Xander every day in a thousand other ways. Why?

But now. Over and over. Until it filled him up completely. No room for why. No room for anything but Xander inside him. Voice and cock and probably soul. No room.

Spike gripped the carpet harder, trying to hold on to the last of what was just him, but Xander didn't let him. One more 'I love you,' and Spike had buried his face, because there was no room inside him anymore for tears that he hadn't let out in he couldn't remember how long. And Xander didn't even alter his rhythm. Still into him, still whispering, and only the hand cradling his chest and the other arm beneath his head gave any indication Xander knew.

He felt Xander leaning closer, whispering softer his 'I love you'. A pause, then a hand brushed his face. Without warning, the words changed. "And I don't need a reason why."

Spike pushed his face into Xander's hand, and the world exploded around him. It wasn't his body that was stiffening and letting go and falling into Xander's arms. That was going on at its own pace. It was just him. Just Spike. As if those words were the last thing he ever needed to make him give himself completely. What the hell was 'I do,' when there was Xander saying 'I love you' again?

He could feel Xander coming, as well, silent now as he thrust a bit faster. Spike barely registered the change, though, his body and mind and everything else collapsed in Xander's arms. Then Xander tensed, and he heard a rush of air. For a moment they were both completely still, and Spike heard it again, harsh in a tensed throat, but spoken all the same.

"I love you."

I know, he thought. IknowIknowIknowIknow.... He didn't even have the words. Xander was still in him. He was trying to say it back. Trying, but he couldn't even find the air to do that. No room for anything but Xander and I love you. He could only lie still, with Xander warm on top of him. Inside him. Still, every so often, whispering it.

Xander didn't try to move away, as he softened inside Spike. Just lay there, heart still racing, body just a little slicked with sweat. Spike was trying to gather up enough of himself to say it back, but every time he thought he had it, it all slipped away from him again as Xander's breath brushed his ear with every exhalation?.

He opened his mouth, trying to form words, and a finger found its way to his lips. Touched the lower one, then slipped inside, just enough, in invitation. He licked at it, and then sucked as if he could bring Xander into him that way, too. Salt and sweat, even the sweat of his own body from Xander touching him, and he could feel the fingerprint with his tongue. He really could. Trying to say it, and it was like Xander didn't even want to let him.

But Xander was pressed against him, relaxed, content to simply let Spike suck his finger. As if maybe he thought this was the only way Spike could say it: sucking and nipping and trying to bring Xander back inside him. He tasted, for a long time. It seemed like a long time. Maybe you lose track of time when you're lying on your own floor and your lover is inside you and you don't know how to get him out just the tiniest bit, just enough to be able to tell him you love him. Don't know if you ever want him out again. He tasted for a long time, anyway, and finally he spoke around Xander's finger.

It came out muffled and funny and wrong, and Spike shook his head a bit, pushed Xander's finger out with his tongue, and said it again, right, this time. "I love you too, Xan." He kissed the finger that was still pressed against his lips. The arm that was still around him squeezed him tightly.

Then they lay there, silent and still, holding each other on the floor. Spike wasn't sure that he didn't want to never move again. Turn Xander so they could feed from each other, spend the rest of eternity locked together, not moving. Not ever moving.

Then Xander brushed his fingers against Spike's cheek, again. "OK?" Was he... There wasn't a sane answer to that. He thought of a couple, and they all sounded wrong, not good enough, even in his head. He just nodded. Made a noise that wasn't really yes, but couldn't be taken to mean anything else.

*****