Spike woke a start in the deep, comfortable bed they had made their own for the last few months they had been in Prague. He took a few slow, unnecessary breaths and turned to the still sleeping Drucilla. He pulled her close to him and took a deep smell of her hair. It always reassured him to hold and smell Drucilla. It made him feel safe and secure and took away the fear of the dream. In all his scary existent, Drucilla was the constant against which he measured the extent of his own change. She had not changed at all from the mad, beautiful, mysterious vampire he had inherited nearly one hundred years ago. She looked the same, acted the same and thought the same. She even wore the same style of dress. All of this reassured Spike and gave him some continuity in this rapidly changing world. Because Spike had changed a great deal from the William creature he had just dreamed of. He was so no longer William that the dream almost had no power to affect him. Almost. Because he had to admit to himself, it did. It did affect him. He yearned every day to dream it, but feared it too, because although the dream brought Angelus back to him, at the very same time it effectively reminded him of the moment that had fucked up his entire unlife. Forever. It reminded him of the moment when Angelus had fucked him up for the rest of his unlife. And he had special reason to be dreaming it today. Oh yes, Spike had very good reason to be remembering his dead Sire today.

Spike knew he would sleep no more that day. He was resigned to lying awake next to the sleeping Drucilla with the heat of the room oppressing him. He was resigned to the fact that he could not return to and finish his dream. But he could remember, he remembered stuff very well. He particularly remembered that night. Every long moment of it.

Angelus had not sobered up from the effects of diluting some of the alcohol he'd consumed with a few pints of Childe cum. Rather the opposite. The heady mixture seemed to have tipped the balance from large Irish vampire who was very drunk, to drunken thing that might once have been a vampire. He pulled away from kissing William and tried to catch his Childe's face in his hands again, missed and lurched over William against the window. He cursed and shifted position on the window seat effectively losing his balance and tumbling to the floor where he lay face down giggling.

William tidied himself up a bit, put his still hard cock away, buttoned his britches and tried to decide if, given Angelus' inebriated state, he'd make it to the door before Angelus realized he'd gone. Much as William had enjoyed the exquisite orgasm he'd had in Angelus' mouth and as much as he'd enjoyed the kissing and as ready as he was for exploring more with his Sire, he also wanted to get away quietly by himself and think all this over. He knew this was pathetic and not worthy of a Wraith, but nevertheless, it was what he wanted to do. He had a lot of new things to think about. He stood up and tried to step quietly over Angelus, but it was not to be. A large, strong hand held his ankle in a painfully tight grip and Angelus rolled over onto his side trying unsuccessfully to prop his head up with his other hand.

William decided to be bold. He had nothing to lose really and he might as well get proverbially hung for a sheep as for a lamb.

`It's late, Sire. Please let go. I want to go to bed now.'

William expected Angelus to fly into one of his hormonal rages at this so was alarmed, yet again, when his simple words seemed to wring nothing but anguish from the slightly unfocused demon on the floor.

`Aye, Will, it is. It's very late and I'm not meself. I'm drunk. I am. Drunk. I've been drinking.' Angelus stopped and seemed impressed by his own admission as if he thought that, as no one had noticed he was drunk, it was pretty decent of him to admit it. But as all drunks do, he clearly liked the sound of his own voice and soon continued. `She knows you see.'

Angelus was clearly fed up with trying to talk to a Childe standing over him, because one moment William was preparing to leave and the next he was flipped on his backside by Angelus pulling his feet out from under him. Angelus struggled to sit up too and they sat side by side against the wall under the window.

`How did she find out lad?' Angelus looked to William, looked deep into his eyes, as if the answer to this mysterious question lay in their blue depths. William knew this to be unlikely, given he had absolutely no idea what Angelus was talking about.

He broke eye contact, fished in his pocket for his cigarettes and lit one, hoping he was looking mature, hard and rather Wraith-like.

He was actually debating giving in to his earlier, baser desires and trying something more with Angelus. The oral sex already seemed a dim, unreal memory. He wanted to recapture that mood, but couldn't think how. Angelus was still muttering to himself when he suddenly turned to William and laid his hands on the side of his face - albeit rather unsteadily, with the merest of trembles.

Angelus' eyes were deeply troubled again; his considerable forehead lowered, giving the impression of serious thought. William wasn't fooled for a minute, he knew all of this was mood and emotion found at the bottom of a bottle.

`I think she smelt me thoughts of you lad.' Angelus gave a wise nod to himself and sank his head on William's shoulder.

What thoughts? William hadn't seen much evidence over the past year that Angelus thought at all, let alone that he thought about his youngest Childe. But given that Angelus was quietly sobbing on his shoulder, in the fashion drunks are wont to; he didn't have the heart to point this out to him.

`Then I cried yer name, Will. Oh Will, I cried yer name, to her! In me passion, I cried yer name and she knew. What am I ter do?'

William ground out his cigarette, pushed Angelus off his shoulder and this time grasped his Sire's face in his own hands. Because this was getting ridiculous and it was starting to get him angry. He had been quite willing to give in to the overwhelming knowledge that he actually loved Angelus. After all, if he was put over a rack and tortured for a few days, he would probably admit that he had known this quite well over the whole of the last year, but the weakness this implied had just pissed him off, so he'd gotten all poetical picturing ice shards and the like. Too much thinking again. He just had to stop that. But, (and this was a big but, with quote marks and even underlining), he was not prepared for Angelus to start any stupid crap about how he really loved William and thought of William.

Angelus could keep his bottle-induced passion and leave him alone.

So when he spoke, his voice was far more dominant than usual and he took a tone he sometimes risked with the minions, but never, ever before with Angelus.

`You don't even know my bloody name half the time, so what the hell are you talking about?' He was tempted to add, `Sire', in an insulting tone at the end of this, but held it back. Even drunk, Angelus scared him a bit and he didn't want to provoke him too much.

Angelus' eyes filled up again and he put his hands dramatically to his chest like an actor strutting on a stage, indicating that William's words had wounded him to his core. The effect of this was slightly ruined when he lost his balance on the wall and started sliding sideward, but he hauled himself back up to sitting and resumed his dramatic pose.

`William, Childe, I love thee. Didn't ye know? Yer all I think about, day an' night, ye haunt me thoughts, Will. Oh, tell me ye knew this. Oh, tell me do!'

William's jaw dropped open. He wished he had thought to count the words Angelus had just slurred out, because he was utterly convinced they were more than Angelus had ever said to him before. An unlifetime of words in one go.

And what words!

He could think of nothing useful to say, so he just echoed Angelus in a weak, girlie voice. `Love me?'

In answer, Angelus attempted to kiss William again, but he was clearly beginning to suffer the effects of the drinking more as each minute passed. He missed William's mouth and placed a fumy, wet kiss on his jaw. William didn't mind as it gave him the opportunity to collect himself and regain the upper hand. He grabbed Angelus' shoulders and even shook him a fraction.

`You! Love Me!' He looked Angelus straight in the eye.well, straight in one eye; Angelus' other eye seemed to be sliding alarmingly off focus to one side. `You are very, very drunk. You have been refused your Sire's bed. You are just looking for a convenient hole. Don't.don't try to confuse THIS, with love. You don't have the right. You don't know what love is. Oh, and do you know what? I hate you!' William sat back with a satisfied look on his face. He tried to tell himself he felt better and that he had aired long held grievances against his Sire, but the churning in his guts told him differently. He'd crossed the line now. No turning back. But, oh! How dare he! How dare Angelus do this to him. He'd used the cheapest, worst, most transparent chat up line any drunk ever used.'I've always secretly loved you.didn't you realise my ignoring you all the time was really my way of showing my abiding passion for you?' William had the distinct feeling that in pubs around the known world and definitely in Clapham, drunks like Angelus were using that line on easy targets like him, creatures they would despise and belittle in the morning when their lust was sated.

William's satisfaction with his untrue declaration that he hated Angelus was entirely ruined when Angelus cast him a tortured look and promptly burst into drunken, uninhibited tears. His previously slurred speech now became almost incoherent as he tripped over his words in his haste to try and explain what he wanted to William. He took William's hand in his own, turning it over and over like a worry bead.

`Me Gods Will, I knew ye'd think that, I knew. From the first, when she threatened to stake ye, before ye even woke up, I knew. I knew that if I ignored ye like she wanted, like she demanded, ye'd never know, ye'd think I hated you. But oh, love, I couldn't let `er stake ye, I couldn't. I wanted ye even then, even then when ye lay in me lap, dead and cold, I wanted ye. But she saw through me, she knew me, saw that look in me eye which should `ave been for her. Oh, Will.' Angelus now hauled himself up to kneeling in front of the astounded William, leaning on him and pinning his shoulders to the wall. He came in close, putting his face right up to William's as if by bridging the gap between their bodies, he could bridge the emotional gap that existed between them. `Didn't ye feel it, William, when ye came around? The arguments, the tension, didn't you know it was all about you? Every time I went to you, she fought me, every time I threatened to leave with you; she said she'd kill you. Oh Will, it was all to protect you, my Childe, my little one.' He was sobbing so hard now, William had trouble working his words out at all and he did want to work them out now. He wanted that a lot, because suddenly things were starting to make a great deal of sense to William. All the things he had sensed and thought that were strange about this new family of his and his position in it were now becoming clear.

Because he believed Angelus.

His intuition told him that this drunken, but heartfelt declaration, explained the things he had sensed from Angelus but had never been able to explain to himself. The feeling that Angelus was watching him all the time, the feeling that Angelus said things to him that William did not hear out loud. William tipped his head slightly to one side, studying his distraught Sire. And that simple move seemed to push Angelus over the edge of the emotion he was trying to hold in, for at that look from his Childe, he swiftly took Will in his arms and seemed to be trying to swallow him whole, so passionate was his kiss.

William fell into the kiss with an abandon he had not allowed himself when Angelus kissed him earlier. Now, he was kissing the Sire who loved him. And that was a great deal better than kissing someone he loved one-sidedly. He put everything into the kiss that had disturbed or upset him over the previous, hideous year; all the longing, all the hurt, all the questioning was pushed into Angelus mouth by William's insistent tongue for it to be absorbed and soothed by his Sire's powerful essence. William knelt up too to get better access to Angelus' mouth. William felt that time stood entirely still in the room. In his fertile mind he felt that there was only Sire and Childe, united at last, in a passion that both of them wanted and needed. William now felt his existence had been justified. This was what he had been made for. This is where he was needed and where he fitted best; his mouth on Angelus' mouth, his tongue clashing and moving with Angelus' tongue, his hair being pulled and twisted by Angelus' strong hands and his.ahh, William's agile mind swiftly darted down to where his cock was now pressed into Angelus' groin and Angelus' very obvious, insistent erection. He wanted his cock inside Angelus too where he felt that would fit best.

He pulled away slightly from Angelus' mouth to look him in the eye. He saw the same thought there that must have been evident in his eyes. Lust, desire, need, love? He moved his hands slowly down to his Sire's shirt, keeping his eyes locked with Angelus'. He hadn't learnt much about Vampire Lore in his long, lonely year, but one thing he had learnt; Childer did not initiate sex with their Sires and male Childer were never, ever allowed to enter their male Sires. It was unthinkable, destructive, dangerous. But he also knew one thing quite clearly. This might be his only opportunity ever of doing just this. Whilst Angelus was drunk, whilst Angelus was emotional. Once he sobered up he would be unlikely to let William do this ever again.even when they were together without Darla, as William knew now they would be.even when there was just the two of them together, forever, as William now saw as his future. He had no idea why Angelus had picked this evening to claim his Childe and frankly didn't care. He wondered if the three days away had focused Angelus' mind too. But he knew that this was real for both of them and that Angelus would not renounce him again.

So he continued his slow insistent undressing of Angelus. He ignored the quiet, whispered pleas for him to stop. He took Angelus' murmured `no' and `stop' and `don't' to mean, `yes' and `again' and `more'. He felt, with a new depth of understanding for his Sire, that what Angelus said was not always what he meant and in this case, 'no', most definitely did mean, 'yes'. So he continued. He gently, but insistently, pushed Angelus back so he was lying on the floor. William lay over him, his hands braced each side of his Sire's head. Angelus' eyes were unfocused and his movements unsteady, but William didn't let this put him off his aim. He moved slowly down Angelus' body until he had access to the buttons of his britches. He used his tongue for a while over these buttons until he felt Angelus arch to his touch. Given this unmistakable signal, William brought his hands down and slowly started to unbutton each side, alternating his eager finger movements with the occasional licking and biting that Angelus clearly enjoyed.

At last he had his target. He was able to free Angelus' cock and take it in his hand. William was in an entirely new world now. He had no map for this new land with which to navigate, but strangely he did not feel lost. He felt he was on familiar ground because, after all, what did he have in his hand but something he knew very well? He had a cock, an erect cock and he was very familiar with one of those. What fascinated him and made him so hard he could hardly contain his own urgent orgasm, was wondering just how different, or similar, was Angelus' cock to his own. He decided to find out.

He started with a tiny lick up the underside, just to see what it would do. If Drucilla did this to his, it twitched and he would rear back on the bed, helpless and desperate. He was extremely pleased, therefore, to discover that Angelus' cock twitched exactly the same. William even gave a small grin to himself as Angelus reared his hips up to William's mouth. This was fun. There were many other areas William wanted to explore, so he wasted no time. He moved down so he was lying below Angelus' cock and looked at the place where the base and balls stretched down to the perineum and on towards that small puckered hole that William was determined would be the final target of his fun tonight.

He wanted to try something on Angelus he could never get Dru to remember to do with him. He took his thumb and just pressed hard on that place at the base of Angelus' straining cock where it went deep-rooted into his groin. Angelus groaned and laced his fingers in William's hair and increased the volume of his insistent chant, `no, stop, don't'. William took this for ample encouragement to continue and added a light series of licks up from the place he was pressing to the closed-over tip of Angelus' cock. He was delighted to discover that Angelus found this as erotic as he did himself because Angelus' cock surged free of its thick protective foreskin, its glistening tip shining in the cold moonlight that streaked in through the casement.

The sight of the soft, mushroom shape of his Sire's cock entranced William. He increased the pressure of his thumb whilst moving Angelus' cock with his other hand so the moonlight moved, rippling across the surface. This seemed to send Angelus to a new level of pleasure because William could distinctly see a trickle of precum leaking from the delicate slit in the otherwise totally smooth head.

William knew exactly what he wanted now. It surprised him, it was not something he'd ever thought he had wanted to do, but it was all he could think of, looking at that small, icy stream. So he did it. He reached up with his tongue and tasted it. As his tongue lapped at the few drops that bubbled out he raised his eyes to Angelus lying above him. He was very pleased to see that his Sire was watching him with keen interest. William couldn't help giving him a grin and a slow, seductive smile as his licked and nuzzled at the source of this exquisite fluid. It was as good tasting Angelus' precum, as producing his own!

Angelus who, suspiciously, was now looking much more focused, increased the pressure on William's head, clearly trying to push his whole cock into William's mouth. William just cast him another sly grin and swirled his tongue around the tiny slit for a while, strenuously resisting any attempt to push him lower. After a while he got bold and grabbed Angelus' wrists, pulling them away from his hair, holding them in a firm grip and forcing them down to the floor. He risked a glance up at Angelus and laughed out loud to see him silently laughing at this boldness. Angelus let him hold his wrists pinned to the floor like a father who allows his son to beat him in play fighting.

William didn't care if he was being humoured. He was very aware that he had managed to move this strange, unexpected night from one of lust, desire and passion, to one of friendship, sharing and fun. He'd done that entirely by himself. He felt very pleased with this turn of events and rewarded Angelus for his new mood by plunging his whole mouth and throat suddenly down onto the cock he had only been playing with. Angelus reared up at the waist, his laughter turning to a frantic hiss.

`Ye Gods, Childe, where did ye learn to do that? NO! Don't stop, don't answer me, but ye'd better not let me find ye.ahh, hell's dominion.better not let me find ye've been with any of the minions doing this.I won't have it, Will, ye're mine, do ye hear?'

William did and he decided to reply with a prolonged `um'. Which was the best he could do given he had eight inches solid vampire shaft in his mouth. He grinned inwardly as the effects of this deep vibration caused Angelus to start unnecessary panting as his eyes rolled back theatrically in his head.

He knew exactly what Angelus must be feeling because William had recently enjoyed this very treatment from his Sire. He sincerely hoped Angelus did not give way to a temptation to scream and just to make sure he let go one wrist and clamped the palm of his hand securely over Angelus' mouth. William's humming `um', therefore, was changed to deeper, lower, 'ahhs' when Angelus' tongue flicked out and started licking the palm that was silencing him. The 'ahhs' turned to silent screams of pleasure when Angelus' fangs descended into the soft flesh at the base of his Childe's thumb. Angelus ripped the tendon open and greedily sucked the tempting thumb in a mirror image of William sucking his cock. The two vampires lay joined in a circle of need. William felt his Sire wouldn't last much longer and tried to make a counterpoint with his tongue on the underside of Angelus' cock, exactly as the one that had earlier brought him to his own explosive orgasm. He could feel himself getting slightly light-headed from the blood loss from sucking on his hand. It was like the feeling he got from chain smoking, a buzz, a moving to a place where he felt bolder, better, bigger. He found the rhythm with his tongue he was looking for and felt rewarded by Angelus increasing the sucking on his hand until, feeling an impending orgasm, Angelus released the bloody thumb from his mouth, pulled free of William's other hand and placed both his hands on the back of his Childe's head. With Angelus helping, William found just the right, final few thrusts and they brought him off together in an endless eruption of cum in William's mouth.

William felt Angelus' sperm splash against the back wall of his throat.

Is this what Dru felt when she sucked him off?

If so, why didn't she fall on his cock every time she saw him, desperate for him in her mouth? Why did he have to ask her to do this? Why? He had never felt so charged, so alive, even more than when he had been alive. The taste of Angelus' cum, the smell of him in his orgasm, the feel of his hands in William's hair, he had found his true home and in their future together William determined he would do this whenever, wherever he could. Eventually the stream of cum rushing down his throat stopped and William, knowing how sensitive Angelus' cock would now be, released it gently from his mouth, being careful not to touch the delicate tip until Angelus was ready again.

Fortunately for William, Angelus' cock was only about eight inches of him, there was another six foot two at least that William wanted to explore. He knew the final place he intended to end up in, but he had a long journey planned to that place. Angelus had an agenda too; he pulled William up for another long, deep kiss. Incredibly, there was something new to their kisses yet again. Each time they kissed, they moved on a stage from the previous one. This one was the best so far because along with the passion and need, was the fun and friendship they'd discovered earlier. It seemed Angelus didn't know whether to kiss, or laugh at, his newly-discovered, delightful, talented Childe's boldness, so they just nipped at each other, kissing, pulling away, laughing, playing with lips, teeth, and tongues.

William was the first to break away; he looked at Angelus with a cheeky grin and placed his blunt, human teeth directly onto the soft front of Angelus' throat. It wasn't one of the things he'd planned to do whist exploring Angelus' body but the play kissing with his Sire had emboldened him. Besides, his thumb was hurting like hell and he felt he was owed a bit of a top up. He waited for Angelus to give him permission. He'd never done this, had never even allowed himself to dream of this exquisite privilege, so he waited expectantly. Angelus lay still for the merest of moments then stretched his neck back giving William the taste and feel of the skin stretched tight over his Adam's apple. William took this for the permission he sought and delicately pierced Angelus' throat with his fangs. He used his utmost skill and finesse with the precious thing he had in his power. One more fraction of pressure and a hot spurt of the most desired fluid in vampire existence, shot with living force down his throat. The contrast of hot, following on from the cold cum, was sensational. But soon, all thought was lost to William as he drank deep and long from this, the essence and core of his beloved Sire. Angelus moved his hands to William's back and made soft, sensual movements in small circles to encourage his Childe's feeding. William lay entirely on Angelus, their cocks rubbing together, William's urgent one bringing Angelus' back to life, their stomachs hard against each other, their chests flat and matching and fitting. Angelus lifted his hands from William's back and stretched his arms luxuriantly above his head. William lifted his arms too and they entwined fingers, Angelus stretching William's arms up till his sockets ached, but he continued to feed. His stomach filled and swelled with Angelus' blood. It enriched him, made him feel powerful and ancient. It made him feel, for the first time, pure demon. He felt the human parts of his complex personality dissolve away in this potent demon flood. He knew that in their new, soon-to-be life together, he would quickly lose those last few, unwanted human traits if he were allowed to feed often like this.

Eventually though, Angelus ended William's feast. He disentangled his fingers from William's, lowered his arms and pushed William gently away. When his Childe didn't immediately relinquish his hold, Angelus started a low, Sire growl of warning. William tensed and instantly pulled away, looking up at Angelus, desperately hoping he hadn't transgressed and ruined this precious time. When he saw Angelus' amused look, he grinned back and slowly licked his lips in a sensual and heartfelt, 'thank you'. Angelus grinned too and for a minute both lay there, still and content, William stretched and comfortable on Angelus. Each studied the other's face, these well-known, but strangely new faces, each feeling as if he were seeing the other's true face for the first time.

William had always thought his Sire ancient, powerful, grim. He'd never really seen how young the human aspect of him really was. Lying relaxed under his Childe, he hardly looked as old as William himself. It was an aspect of his Sire that shocked him and made him feel protective towards him. For the first time, William wondered what unlife was really like for Angelus. From William's perspective this year, it had seemed Angelus had it all. He had the power, the command and the authority. He had minions at his beck and call and two beautiful Vampire Queens to gratify his every sexual urge.

Now, William wondered what Angelus thought about his responsibility. Who did he confide in? What did he fear? William saw a huge hole in his Sire's life that he wanted to fill. Their future together was looking better every minute. From the lover he'd first thought of being, to the friend he'd recently discovered he could be, to the support he felt he was needed for.William saw his role becoming more and more clearly defined. William saw just how perfectly they fitted together.

He broke his gaze away from Angelus' hypnotic eyes and slithered his body down until he had access to his Sire's broad, smooth chest. His own arousal at the sight of Angelus' flat, brown nipples fascinated William. He had always thought of himself as a breast man. He liked cupping Drucilla's soft breasts in his hands, pumping them up, pinching and sucking at her nipples, shaking her to make her breasts wobble, making her top him so he could watch them hang, pendulous over his face.

But now, he could not imagine or remember anything more erotic than this very wide, very flat chest. He moved his hands in a sweeping motion from Angelus' belly up his sternum and flaring them out over his nipples. Angelus bent his arms behind his head to raise himself up a little and using them like a cushion, settled in to watch his Childe's exploration.

Angelus' nipples soon responded to this sensuous treatment. The next time William's hands moved over them they were hard like pellets from a shotgun. William pinched them up and cast a shy glance at Angelus. He could never get Dru interested in his and he often wondered if he was abnormal in the delightful sensations his own nipples could give him. The object of his speculation responded to his quizzical glance by biting down hard on his lower lip, drawing blood. He gave a nod of approval to William and smiled. Needing no more encouragement, William bent down and took one of the perfect, hard spheres in his mouth. It was like sucking on a tiny boiled sweet. He flicked his tongue over it and gently, teasingly, nibbled with his human teeth. He moved over to the other side. He felt he knew exactly what Angelus was feeling, felt somehow a direct connection between Angelus' nipples and his own body. He actually felt his own balls tingle and contract as he bit his Sire's nipples. He didn't want to come yet, so he moved away from the nipples, ignoring the groan of protest from the watching vampire, to concentrate on the next area on his journey: Angelus' belly.

This exquisite area of flesh was hard, yet luxuriant. Quite different from William's own lean, hungry one. He probed around Angelus' belly button with his tongue, licked a trail from one side to the other, but couldn't resist for much longer the potent draw of Angelus' soft curls. He buried his face in them, drinking deeply of his Sire's aroma. He wanted to embed the scent of his Sire into his memory banks. His demon, like a wolf, wanted to learn his Sire's scent.

But the moment had come now. William didn't want to delay any more. He had traveled the length of Angelus' body and arrived back where he had started, at the place of entry. William pushed Angelus' legs up and away from him. He didn't catch Angelus' eye, he didn't want to force his Sire to stop him. They both knew this was transgression beyond what any Sire should tolerate.

William started gently licking and blowing on Angelus' cheeks, each lick moving closer to the tightly closed hole he wanted open and receiving.each lick bringing him closer to the Promised Land.

William's entire world imploded and focused on this tiny area of puckered Sire flesh.

*****
Part 3:

Angelus groaned a deep, low groan at William's actions. So he got bolder and, sucking one finger, he pushed the tip gently against the tight hole in front of him. The entrance ring of strong vampire muscle stayed firmly closed. William was surprised how resistant it was. This time he bit his finger and used the gush of blood to ease entry. With one firm push he was inside his Sire. Only now did he look up. If Angelus looked angry, he knew he'd have to stop. They were defying ancient, immutable lore. Angelus held William's gaze for moment then slowly and seductively eased the tip of his tongue out from between his lips in a mirror image of William's fingertip in him. When he was sure his Childe was concentrating, he started flicking his tongue in and out. William felt an erotic charge fizzle down his spine and started moving his finger to match the rhythm of Angelus' tongue. He grinned to himself when Angelus immediately grunted with pleasure and bit down on his own tongue, drawing blood. William looked down and concentrated on his task. He watched his finger disappear into the hole. He watched as the muscle stretched and gave to his thrusting. He desperately wanted to know what this felt like and hoped that Angelus would waste no time showing him once they were together. He was lost in the moment, finding his rhythm when suddenly Angelus let out a high-pitched squeak, sat up wide-eyed and started panting deep, unnecessary breaths. `Oh, fuck, Will!'

William was shocked. No one had ever used that word in his hearing before, except for the dead prostitute. That word was almost as shocking coming from his Sire's lips than anything else that had happened tonight. Naturally he stopped, wondering what had upset his Sire so. He was amazed, therefore, when Angelus grabbed his hand and practically tried to force the bloody finger back in. `Oh God, Will, find that spot again!'

`What spot?' William was genuinely at a loss; this was all experimental and new to him.

`I don't know. Just try. Please!'

That was too much. He'd had Angelus drunk, Angelus sucking him off, Angelus kissing him, crying on him, allowing him to feed off him, laughing with him, swearing at him and now he had Angelus begging him. He decided he liked Angelus begging best of all. Angelus begging made William very, very hard indeed. And being very hard he felt like pushing his cock into Angelus and seeing if he could use that to find this interesting spot again. He knelt up on his heels and holding Angelus' gaze, started slowly and teasingly unbuttoning the front of his britches. Angelus' eyes flew open even more. William knew he was surprising his Sire a lot tonight. He reached into the now loose front and pulled out his penis.

They looked at each other once more. Angelus' pupils were dilated and he was still panting. He drew his legs up a bit more and gave William a view of his hole as William worked his cock lightly, planning to use his cool, seeping precum as lubrication. William closed his eyes for the briefest of moments. This was undreamt of. He opened them again to capture in his mind forever the picture of Angelus lying on the floor waiting for him with his legs stretched up and his aching hole exposed and stretched for William's enjoyment.

But before William could move his cock to embed it in the place he felt it was meant to be, they both heard the distinct and none too dulcet tones of Darla on the upper floor of the house. She was calling for her Childe.

William was shocked to discover that the reason he'd been able to see Angelus' reactions to him for quite a while now was that they were illuminated by the first soft, harmless rays of dawn, not moonlight. So whilst time had clearly stood still for William, he was forced to concede that it had moved on quite normally for the rest of the household. Darla was calling and looking for her errant Childe. Perhaps she felt guilty at turning him away. Perhaps she was worried that he'd fallen drunk in the path of the on-coming sunlight.

Whatever, William didn't care to examine her motives. All he cared about was Darla moving slowly but surely towards them as she opened and searched each one of the bedrooms in turn. All he cared about was calculating whether he would have time to cum fully inside Angelus, before she found them. William kept up the light stroking of his cock, making sure it was ready to plunge into the hole that seemed to draw his gaze. As far as he was concerned, as Darla was going to have to accept them now, she might as well get used to the whole truth at once: not only were Angelus and his Childe reconciled, they were lovers and friends as well. He looked up at Angelus, raising his scarred eyebrow and giving a cheeky but sensual grin. He was caught up short and literally felt his dead heart kick over in shock once or twice when he saw Angelus' face. His Sire had twisted his neck back to look towards the door and had a look of abject terror on his face. `Call to her, Angelus, tell her where we are. She'll know soon enough.'

Angelus turned his head back to look at William on hearing these pleading words. To William's eyes it almost looked as if Angelus was moving slower than normal speed or maybe that was his over active imagination again, trying to delay what his intuition told him was going to be awful. Angelus skittered away from him on the floor, pulling on his clothes.

`Get dressed. NOW!'

`What? Why? Angelus?'

`NOW!' Angelus flew to William and pulled him up to standing against the wall and actually did his trousers back up for him, fumbling desperately with the tiny buttons, his fingers brushing unconsciously and uncaringly on William's still hard cock.

`Sire?' William could manage to say no more. He was falling fast down into a darkness he felt he would never recover from.

Angelus looked him in the eye, placed his hands on his shoulders and pinned him hard against the wall.

`Will! Are ye listening to me? Yer not yet, I can tell.' He slapped William very gently across his face then continued, holding him tight against the wall. `William, are you listening to me?' William nodded slowly that he was, his eyes wide, fixed on Angelus. `Will, it can't be. Not yet. She mustn't know. She'll kill ye. She will. This was a mistake. My mistake. The drink. I just wanted you and the spirits freed me.'

The hideously destructive and insidious thought flitted across William's mind that Angelus had not been as drunk as he had been giving the impression he was, but the thought was rapidly dissolved in the overwhelming flood of dread that Angelus' words stirred in him. He tried harder to concentrate on his Sire's urgent, low speech.

`Will! Listen to me!' They both heard Darla's voice, now at the top of the stairs, now coming slowly down, calling to the minions to look for their Master. Angelus snapped his head back to Will, pressing him so hard against the wall that William felt his imprint might forever be left here in this room. `Will!' Angelus was frantic now. `Will, listen. I won't forget this night. You must remember too, please Will, tell me you will remember this. One day, one day we'll be free, but not now. Do you hear me?'

William did hear. He heard very well. He heard the structure of his unlife shattering and the broken pieces falling to the ground.

Darla was very close now. Angelus clearly didn't feel his message was getting through to his dazed Childe because he suddenly bent his face to William's and ravished his mouth with a passionate kiss. Pulling away, he held Will's face still by his jaw. `WILL! Attend me now!'

And then Angelus said the words that had shattered William's future and fucked him up for the rest of his unlife. Because it was not the sex, or the kissing, or discovering that his Sire loved him that destroyed him, it was what Angelus said next that did it.

In Prague, over one hundred years later, Spike turned slightly from the still sleeping Drucilla. It had taken him nearly the whole of her sleeping day to work up to this point in his memory. He always remembered slowly, wanting to play his mind over the feel of Angelus, the taste of Angelus and the smell of Angelus. He remembered so clearly, it was as if Angelus was here in this bed with him, not Drucilla.

But Angelus was not here, he was dead. He had been for nearly the whole of Spike's unlife, had been since the night of Spike's first Slayer kill. Angelus had gone out into the night and just never come home. Spike knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Angelus was dead because if he was not, where was he? If not dead and not still with Darla, why was he not with his Childe? Spike knew exactly where Darla was; he had kept close tabs on her since the night they parted. She had recently returned to her Sire and was enjoying the company benefits of a small Hellmouth. But Angelus had to be dust, because if he were still around, he would be here, with Spike. It was what he had promised as he held William pinned to the wall, as they listened to Darla's footfalls getting ever closer. It was what had fucked up, and continued to fuck up, Spike's life.

So Spike utterly refused to believe what he had been told two months ago. Every year or so, a minion would bring vague, unconfirmed news to Spike that Angelus had been seen. Spike dismissed these as stupid rumours and often killed the bearers of the message. After a while the demon community stopped mentioning sightings of Angelus to his Childe. It was unwise they decided and got you staked. So it was particularly disturbing for Spike, that on returning from her hunting one night, Dru had casually said, `Daddy is with Grandmummy again. All the stars sing of it.'

However hard he had questioned her, he could not get any more information out of her. But she was very, very sure of what she had `seen'. Angelus was back with Darla and the Master on this small, insignificant Hellmouth.

Spike's entire world had come crashing down around him at this news. Angelus dead, he had been able to accept. Eventually. It had taken him almost a hundred years to do it, but he had come to terms with the idea of never seeing his Sire again. But Angelus not dead, Angelus back with Darla had just utterly destroyed him. Because Angelus had promised him. That night, before Darla discovered them together in the room, he'd promised William things that enabled him to survive the nightmare time that was to follow.

William felt his collarbones starting to crush under Angelus' desperate grip. But the pressure did not lessen at William's hissed intake of breath. If anything, it got firmer so urgent was Angelus that he have William's full attention.

`Will, attend me. Now! Listen, we cannot be yet. But one day. You have to wait for me, William, you have to be ready. And Will, know this.whenever you see me with her, remember, I will be thinking of you, not her. I will take her in me arms and kiss her with a passion you have never seen, but in me mind Will, I'll be kissing you. Watch us and think of my tongue in your mouth, not hers.' He demonstrated his words by softly kissing William's mouth. William didn't respond and gave no indication he understood Angelus at all. This made Angelus even more distraught and Darla had reached the bottom of the wide staircase and was conferring with some minions. `Will, when you lie in bed, listen to us, I'll cry out as I come, that I love her, but it'll be you I'll be saying it to, your body I'll be coming in. Do you understand, Will?' With one last long look at his Childe, Angelus flew out of the room to meet his Sire and make his apologies. William heard Angelus laugh and claim he smelt too awful to embrace her, slipping cleverly away to wash all traces of William off himself before she discovered the truth about that night.

William had stayed pressed against the wall for most of that day. He had no strength in his heart to will him to move, to feed, or to start unlife again. Angelus had ended one way of being for him just as effectively as he had one year ago by taking his human life. He had rather Angelus had laughed at him and returned to his Sire and that all of this had merely been a drunk's great joke. William did not want to know that Angelus loved him, but that he could not have him. William did not know how to love by halves. It was not something unlife had taught him, he loved passionately and completely. Slumped against the wall that day he saw how unlife would be for him now and he did not want to return to it.

But eventually he had to move. Eventually he had to feed again and try to pick up the pieces of the existence that Angelus had destroyed. But he had to give his Sire his due; he was true to his word. Every time Angelus and Darla came into the room, Angelus would sweep her up with an urgent, passionate kiss. She would break away from it; glowing from the unexpected rush of desire Angelus had shown her recently. She sensed that ever since the drinking episode he had been wild with desire for her, he had taken her incessantly, wanted her day and night and she reveled in her power over him, lauding it over the others, making them feel her importance. And William had watched all of this.

He had listened to Angelus crying `I love you' over and over from the privacy of his bedroom.

Just one or twice had they been left alone together, no Darla, no Drucilla, no minions, but these times were so short and so infrequent, William despaired of being able to tell Angelus all he wanted to. All Angelus did was pull him into an urgent kiss, run his hands over William's body and renew his vow, that one day he would be free to claim his Childe. A few times Angelus even risked touching William when Darla was present. In the darkened corners of theatre boxes whilst waiting for the ladies to move elegantly past, Angelus would occasionally press back into William, deliberately moving his hands behind him to feel William's ever present erection. In coaches when the women fell asleep from the long, tiring journeys, Angelus would take William's hand in his own and bring it to his lips, biting once again into that soft pad at the base of his thumb, renewing his vow to his Chide.

But none of these times were enough for Angelus either. He seemed to become slightly mad with frustrated passion and when he could not lay his hands lovingly on William, he laid them in other ways. Under the cover of punishing William, he could at least touch his skin, lick the blood from his wounds, hear him beg for release, if only for release from the pain. So with his Sire watching, Angelus would torture William. For the slightest, invented transgression, William would be subjected to days of beatings and whipping. As if to make the feel of the whip worse, Angelus would run his hands over William's naked body, preparing him, Darla laughing her high-pitched encouragement to this cruel treatment. William sometimes wondered if she suspected why Angelus did these acts, but looking into Angelus' face as he raised the whip to bring it down across his stomach, even he could not see any pretense in that cold, cruel expression. If he could not see through the pretence, how could she?

And the effect of all this on William?

It made him desperate and miserable to a point that the only thing that drowned out his misery was the fear and pain of others. He became pure demon, suppressing what he saw as the human weakness in himself. He found his new persona and was pleased with it. He decided to call himself Spite. He wanted to spite Angelus, Darla and everyone who crossed his path. He wanted to reek havoc and rip and tear and make everything bleed. He wanted entropy and dissolution.

He was a little disconcerted, therefore, that when he told Drucilla to no longer call him William, but to call him Spite, she immediately misheard what he said and started to call him Spike with a gleeful repetition she kept up all day. She flew to `Daddy' and told him that her William was now called Spike. She told everyone and however many times he tried to correct her, whispering subliminally in her ear when she was asleep, `Spite', `Spite', `Spite', she never got it. She called him Spike and so after a while he gave in and became inventive with his new name and the instrument of torture it suggested to him. He had never before seen fear like it from his victims until he showed them what he intended to do with the spike. He had never heard cries of pain so long and so piercing as from those hapless humans he impaled and left to die in agony. It was as well he had never heard of Fraud and could not see the connection between what he did with spikes to others' small puckered holes and what he was burning to do with Angelus. All he knew was that their pain helped to drown out thoughts of Angelus until he had, inevitably, to return to the family group and witness what Angelus did with Darla, in his name.

And so it would begin again, the pain and the fear and the bringing of chaos until his head spun with the sound of his victims and he became confused as to where their pain started and his ended. It was all pain, it was all fear, it was all despair. But he never doubted Angelus. Except for doubting the wisdom of telling him all this in the first place, he never doubted that Angelus loved him and that what he did with Darla, he actually did with him. Sometimes, lying in his bedroom next to Angelus' room he actually felt Angelus' penetration of Darla, he swore he could feel a rush of cold cum in his body when Angelus cried out `I love you' and he despaired of this madness and where it would lead him. He saw no sign of Angelus attempting to leave his Sire, let alone to stake her and William didn't know how much longer he could go on with this pretence. The screams and wails of his victims' fear were having less and less effect and he was tiring of the game. He wanted to rest and to be still and to be able to start thinking again, without pain. So when Angelus went out one night to hunt and didn't return, Spike knew the agony, along with the ecstasy, was over. He eventually parted with Darla and went his way with his dark Princess.

The only thing that kept him vaguely sane was the thought that at least if he couldn't have Angelus, then neither could anyone else, especially Darla. So it came as a particular shock that night in Prague to hear from Drucilla that Angelus was not dead, that he was `alive' and that he was in America, in California, on a Hellmouth and more importantly, he was with Darla.

Oh yes, that had not been good news. Spike did not quite know what to do for the best. He wanted to go to California, but he didn't. He wanted to take up where they had left off, but he didn't. He was no longer William, no longer Spike of the early years either. Now he didn't give a shit for vampire lore or vampire culture, if he went there he would fight Darla for his Sire if he could. But would that bring Angelus to him?

Spike turned again on the bed, trying to get comfortable. He'd thrown off the covers some time ago and his long, pale, incredibly thin body was softly illuminated from the filtered sunlight coming in through the tightly closed shutters. He looked at his body. He looked at his flaccid cock. He looked at his hands, his arms and his legs. He tried to see himself as Angelus had seen him. For this was Spike's great worry and fear. He did not now think that Angelus wanted him. Surely, surely, if Angelus wanted his Childe he would stake Darla? This, was not then. Childer, Sires, Masters, they were all very old ways of thinking as far as Spike was concerned. This was the age of McDonalds and the Internet. All that old vampire shit belonged to the age of crinoline and smog. If Spike had left it all behind him, then so could every other bleeding vampire. If Angelus wanted him, he could stake Darla and claim him. That he had stayed absent for nearly one hundred years and then returned immediately to his Sire did not bode well for their future, as far as Spike was concerned.

So he didn't go to California. He stayed in Prague and put up with Drucilla's increasing madness and passion for the church. Every night she prayed on the simple church-going folk, trying to find in their blood, the blood of the lamb that had been so cruelly lost to her forever. Spike let her go and rarely accompanied her on these feeding frenzies, so he was not there to protect her when the congregation of Our Lady before Tyn discovered her feeding on their Bishop.

There should be a difference between a congregation and a mob, but to Drucilla that night there was little to choose between them. They tore at her, tried to reclaim the stolen blood, tried to prevent her escaping by destroying her very limbs. She only made her escape because, in their frenzy, they attracted the notice of the authorities and became the victims of a riot squad themselves. Spike found her the next day and carried her back undercover of darkness to the hotel. He feared even his love for her could not keep her `alive' now.

It was particularly bad timing, therefore, that one brave minion risked a stake to tell Spike the latest news from Sunnydale. He felt it would be welcome news and that it would earn him some much-needed brownie points with the unpredictable blond one. He told Spike that he had heard from a very reliable source that far from Angelus living with Darla and the Master, he was in fact very estranged from them and living entirely on his own.

Oh yes. This was bloody good news. Just what Spike fucking needed to know now, with a half-dead Drucilla, totally unable to travel. He thanked the poor minion with a particularly painful uppercut to his jaw and returned to tending his beloved Princess on the bed. Fucking hell. So Angelus had not returned to Darla. Spike's mind was in a whirl of confusion. Surely, if he knew where Darla and Angelus were, surely Angelus would likewise know where he was? Why hadn't Angelus sent for him? Maybe he was biding his time. Maybe he didn't know where Spike was? Europe was a big place. Maybe he'd just disappeared too well in Prague. Spike was wild with desire to return to America and see Angelus again.

This desire did not lessen of course when, still caring for Drucilla who was now almost well in body if not in mind, he heard that Angelus had staked his Sire. It all finally made sense to Spike. That's what Angelus had been waiting for. He had not sent for Spike till it was safe for him. He had been waiting merely to kill Darla. Now he would send for him. But why wait? Why not go to this, Sunnydale, and surprise him? So that's what he did.

Over a century of waiting. Over a century of loving. All his passion, all his need for his Sire had been thwarted by that small, blond, female vampire. And she was now history.

As he traveled those ghastly miles with Drucilla, there was one clear, clarion thought in Spike's mind keeping him going:

< at least there will be no small, blond female to get between us now >

*****