Giles couldn't help but smile when he thought of the anticipation he'd felt when dressing for the evening. As if that even counted now as anticipation. He was so nervous, so excited, so bewildered, he could hear his heart beating frantically in his chest. He felt light-headed, a dizzy sense of the unreality at what was happening washing over him. He clung to Spike as they swept back through the night towards Sunnydale. Spike now rode casually, one hand over Giles', playing lightly with his fingers, stroking up his forearm. They were pressed tightly together on the bike, both enjoying the hard bulge of the human's erection, Spike occasionally wriggling back to make him squirm. After a while, Giles felt bold. He slid his hands lower and cupped the vampire's very obvious, very promising, erection. He heard Spike hiss slightly and felt him move his hand down, too. Spike took one of the warm hands and, sucking in slightly, pushed it down inside his jeans. Giles almost resisted the unfamiliar, scary act but let the vampire take control. He felt the stiff, wiry hairs first before his brain connected enough to separate. other things. When he felt calm enough, he put his other hand up to Spike's chest to hold on firmly and began a slow, intense exploration. Spike's erection was lying up to one side: it was hard like steel. Giles winced slightly and felt something nagging at him: something he ought to think about but didn't want to. He ignored the feeling and moved his hand lower. In contrast to the erection, Spike's balls were soft and incredibly malleable. He stroked them gently; they wobbled; Spike gasped, hunched over and swerved the bike. Giles instinctively grabbed onto everything - anything - for support, turning Spike's gasp into an amused shout. `Hey! Fucking watch me nuts, mate!' Giles let go, his heart racing from fear and..

He wanted to make Spike stop the bike.

He wanted to have the vampire now: alongside the road, on the road, on the bike, he didn't care. He just wanted to feel him, see him, taste him. and what was that persistent thought stabbing at the back of his brain, trying to escape from the tight bounds he'd placed on it? His movements inside Spike's jeans became bolder, more assured. He took hold of the erection as best he could. It was too constricted; he urgently undid the front of the jeans and released it into the hot air. Spike gave a satisfied, long, anticipatory moan as the damp tip dried in the rushing air.

Giles put his chin on Spike's shoulder and saw the erection for the first time. It was too dark to appreciate it fully, but the moon illuminated the pale, unearthly flesh, and Giles could just tell where the solid shaft ended in a soft, darker, and more rounded tip. He put his finger directly on the end of the slippery knob and felt the small slit. He held the erection still with his other hand as he gently swirled around and around on the soft surface. Spike began to rise slightly off the seat and put one hand down to stop him. `Don't! It's been so bloody long: I'll explode.'

`So?' Giles whispered the simple word into Spike's ear and felt the vampire slowly, but pointedly, remove the restraining hand.

It had been a long time since Giles had done this: the adolescent erection he'd fumbled once in a school pavilion after cricket had been such a disappointment that the exercise had not been repeated. This experience was entirely different. The cock filled his hand. It felt invulnerable yet seductively fragile: subject to his whims, his desires. He pulled the foreskin down and ran one finger around the edge of the tip. He moistened his palm by running it around and over the leaking slit and then used the lubrication to begin a hard, slow, intent pulling of the steel-like shaft. Spike tipped back his head a little then pressed against Giles' face, their cheeks resting together. He slowed the bike slightly, and Giles only prayed the vampire wouldn't close his eyes as well.

He'd only started to find his rhythm, when Spike groaned and said - as if unconsciously and totally lost to the moment - `Yeah, just like that. That's really good, Giles, makes me so hard. Rub across again.. Fuck yes! Do it again! Jesus! I'm so fucking hard, and it feels so good. I want you Giles - when we get there, yes? Want this inside you instead? Wanna feel how good this could feel ramming up inside you? Want me to split you open? Yeah, like that, wouldn't you?'

Giles felt sick.

Bile actually rose in his gullet, and he felt a cold, washing tingle in his jaw. He wrenched his hand away and spat hoarsely. `Stop! For God's sake, stop the bike!'

Just in time, he was able to fling himself off and vomit into the sparse bushes to the side of the highway. Spike folded his duster over his aching erection and watched him, puzzled. `Too much whisky, mate?'

Giles stood up weakly and nodded. He didn't catch Spike's eye. `Perhaps we'd better keep this until we get back. It is rather dangerous, after all.'

Spike gave him an inscrutable look. `Not sure that I can, pet.'

`Oh, well..' Giles turned away and sat some distance from the bike, almost lost in the gloom. `You. err. carry on, if you like. Only I feel.. Must be the motion of the bike. Sorry.'

`Carry on?'

`Yes.. Finish yourself off. or however else you want to.. I don't know, you're a vampire, Spike, perhaps you do these things differently.'

Spike laughed, but even in his confused, nauseous state, Giles knew there was no humour whatsoever in the sound. `No, we do it just the same as you, human. But you know what? Suddenly, don't feel like it much.' He fastened his clothes and started the bike. For one second, he clearly debated leaving the human alongside the road but relented and nodded his head to the space behind him.

They didn't speak again until they reached Spike's crypt. He stopped the bike. Giles climbed off stiffly and wondered if he could tell this vampire what had really happened. He opened his mouth to speak but was floored by a well-aimed punch. Spike doubled up in agony; Giles' hands flew to his nose. Spike stood up, still holding his head, tears of pain in his eyes. He spoke slowly and incredibly distinctly. `That was worth it.' Having made his point, he spun on his heel and left Giles alone in the cemetery.

Neither slept well that night.

Giles lay bathed in pain and fear: Spike's words had opened up a maw of personal agony that he had repressed very successfully for so long. It had taken him months to physically recover from Angelus' brutal rape: the splitting and bleeding something he had not been able to share with anyone or seek help for. The mental scars still bled: they coated him now with hot, painful memories of shame and degradation, terror and despair.

"I want you Giles - when we get there, yes? Want this inside you instead? Wanna feel how good this could feel ramming up inside you? Want me to split you open? Yeah, like that, wouldn't you?"

No, he wouldn't: he couldn't. How could he ever enjoy that? What had he been thinking of, wanting Spike? Wanting anyone? Penetration was pain and made you beg for it to stop. It made you swell and bleed for weeks, and the pain never seemed to stop.

Eventually he got out of bed and pulled on some old training sweats, going down to the relative cool of his living room. He starred morosely at the door, wondering what to do.

Spike sat with his head in his hands on the edge of his bed. Where did he keep going wrong? What more did he have to do to get this man to want him? He should have taken the girl while he could. and there was no doubt that he could have. He'd been so aroused by the ride over to the bar, so turned on by Giles' hesitant confession that he liked him, that he could have jettisoned years of pent up sexual need into her soft body. but he hadn't. She was not what he'd wanted.

What he wanted had been so close on the ride home. The feel of Giles' excitement over him: the sense of power and urgency he'd been able to rouse in the normally reticent watcher. That's where the human's allure really lay. He was outwardly so incorruptible, so formal, so bloody English. but inside? Inside he was a seething mass of confusion and need, and Spike felt that confusion; he knew that need; he'd seen the human at his very lowest; he had witnessed his..

Spike lifted his head and starred sightlessly at the small flame of his flickering candle. What had he said? Had he said he would split the human open? Had he said he'd rip into him and make him bleed? Spike groaned as he realised what he'd done. He jerked his head back and screwed his eyes shut to the memory of the human's screams.

'Spike?'

Spike flung himself up from the bed and stood with his back to the small dresser, blocking most of the illumination. He could see well enough, but Giles stumbled over something on the floor and sat heavily on the end of the bed. 'Spike?'

'What, human? Bit bloody rich this, coming into me bedroom whenever you want. Love to see what you'd do if I kept doing this to you. Just cus I live in the crypt; just cus I'm a vampire.. Don't see why..'

'Shut up, Spike. I'm embarrassed too.'

Spike came slowly away from the candle, and Giles watched him carefully. 'I want to explain..'

'No need, I got it.'

'Oh.' He put his head down. 'So you understand that I. can't. I can't let you..'

'I can't anyway, pet. I was only talking a load of shit as usual. I probably couldn't even push a pencil in you. Chipped, remember?'

Giles lay back on the rumpled bed slowly. He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'I think this is the most inauspicious start to any. liaison I've ever had the misfortune to enjoy.'

Spike chuckled and sat next to him on the bed, his legs crossed. 'I think being murdered was probably my worst.'

Giles looked at him. 'Okay, better than mine. But the one I had under the influence of dark forces was pretty. bloody.'

'Worse than shagging Harmony?'

Giles shuddered, finally remembering the hideous girl's name. 'No, I shouldn't think so. Mind you, I did have one girlfriend who thought blowjob actually meant that. That was a unique experience.'

Spike chuckled and lay down on his side, propped on one elbow, watching Giles. 'You had a good 'un with the gypsy though.'

Giles hesitated, unsure whether he wanted to discuss Jenny with Spike. He turned his head and looked at the pale, beautiful face and saw nothing there but calm interest. 'After Angel killed her, I had no desire to go on really. I think it kind of helped in a perverse sort of way. When he. did what he did, I didn't really care. Don't get me wrong: it was degrading, painful, terrifying. but not. affecting. It left me unaffected.'

Spike blinked slowly, and without warning, ran a finger gently down Giles' cheek. 'How can you be so clever for other people, Watcher, but so bloody stupid for yourself? Not affected? How long ago was it? I say some shit in the heat of the moment, and you puke your guts into the dirt. Yeah, very not affected.'

Giles turned his face away and was quiet for a very long time. When he did speak, his voice was soft and almost wondering. 'I was supposed to be helping you, Spike, not the other way around.'

'Physician, heal thyself, luv.'

Giles looked slightly askance at Spike, but said in a warm, amused tone, 'You should burn up for that, Demon.'

Spike gave a pretend gasp of outrage. 'Oh, you think so, do you?' He mocked slapped Giles, his hand incredibly close to the skin, but only stroking it with the air as it passed. Giles smiled and folded his hands behind his head.

Spike sighed unnecessarily and picked a small thread out of his blanket. 'So, what? Did you come here just to explain or..'

Giles turned to look at him. 'Oh, no, explain and apologise.' Spike's face had risen then fallen at this reply, and he gave an impatient huff.

'I meant..'

'I know what you meant.' Giles reached over and took hold of Spike's waistband above the zip and pulled it slightly. Spike fell forward, and Giles was there to meet him. In the near total darkness of the crypt, it seemed so easy. Spike's mouth was cool and welcoming; Giles' was warm and accepting. He fell back, and Spike slid slightly over him, one hand on the soft brown hair, one around the back of Giles' neck. The vampire began to twist his fingers into the hair as they twisted their tongues together.

Giles felt his own erection rubbing against Spike's and knew he wasn't far from coming. He eased them apart, placing a surprisingly loving kiss on Spike's forehead. 'I can't. do anything else, Spike.'

Spike pursed his lips and continued to pull Giles' hair into small peaks. 'Why not? It wouldn't be like..'

'No. I realise that. I know I have to get over it, only. not here and not..'

Spike began to interrupt, but Giles pressed a finger to the cool lips and took a deep breath. 'If we do. err..'

'Fuck?'

'Thank you. Yes. If we do. then I can't get rid of the feeling that 'this' - whatever this is - will be over.. No! Don't deny it. It might not; but it might. This might just be a physical thing between us: mutual desire that once satisfied will leave us with nothing else..'

'So, what you saying? You ain't gonna..'

'No. On the contrary. I want to enjoy it while I have it. I have to be at work today: I have things I have to be there for. There's no time now. And I want to see you properly. I don't want to do it here. And to be honest? I just want another few hours of anticipation, because I've rather been enjoying that.'

Spike began to laugh and rolled onto his back. Giles watched him carefully. 'Are you. okay with that?'

Spike hiccupped into silence and nodded his head thoughtfully.

Giles said softly, 'This is rather nice, too, isn't it?'

Spike turned his head; their faces mere inches apart. He lifted his hips slightly and dug out his cigarettes, lighting one carefully before replying. He folded his free arm under his head and turned once more to Giles, blowing a small trail of smoke over him as he spoke. 'Yeah, I can't deny it: it is. Last person I had in a bed was Harmony, and ya know, I kinda found meself making excuses not to be in it, too.' He chuckled. 'Even did some housework once - just to keep out of the bed.'

Spike smoked quietly for a while but stopped with his hand poised to his mouth when a hand began to undo the button on his jeans. He heard Giles chuckle. 'Finishing what I started s'allowed, I think.'

Spike almost choked when he tried to speak. 'Ain't gonna say no to that, am I?'

Giles sat up and undid the jeans completely, urging Spike to lift up slightly so he could slip them right off. The darkness hid his flush of embarrassment and made him bold. Spike lay still, except for the smoking - he could see perfectly well and liked the way the watcher's skin flared out his desire.

Giles cupped Spike's soft balls in the palm of one hand. Spike groaned but otherwise, this time, kept quiet. Warm hands travelled, and an awed voice said softly, 'I'd say fully cured, wouldn't you?' When there was still no response, Giles added thoughtfully, 'I'd better make sure though.'

Spike lifted his hips up fractionally and moaned softly as his foreskin was pinched up, and then eased down. Once more, Giles had access to the soft bulbous tip. The vampire watched the tanned hands moving over his pale shaft and revelled in the warmth they imparted. Giles took a firm hold. 'I've never really done this before, some. encouragement might be helpful?'

Spike still maintained his uncharacteristic silence, but dropped his cigarette to the floor and put the freed hand over Giles', guiding him, showing him how much pressure he could take and the speed he liked. Giles quickly caught on, and Spike folded both arms behind his head, closing his eyes to the exquisite sensation of being brought off by Rupert Giles. Just the thought of Buffy's watcher playing with his penis made his balls begin to tingle with the anticipation of orgasm. He rolled the thought around as Giles began to fondle his sac, perhaps sensing that release was imminent. Rupert Giles.. He'd been there since the beginning. the mutual animosity. the sparring. and now, here they were, enjoying each other's bodies.

In his mind, Spike swapped the more amenable Giles currently making unlife interesting, for an earlier one. He felt once more the hard porcelain against his back and the coolness of the chains. He mentally walked this earlier watcher toward the bath. He made him sit on the rim and instead of offering food from novelty mug; Spike made the human reach out and open his jeans. He made Giles search inside for him. He made the watcher get him out, made him start to pull him. and then his fantasy caught up with reality. It was too much: Spike arched off the bed, gasping and cursing. His sperm shot out with unnatural velocity and splattered his T-shirt, his face, and the surrounding bed. Giles almost let go, but two cold hands clamped around his warm one, and Spike kept the stimulation going until, some long minutes later, the jets of sperm ceased, and he sank like a stone back to the mattress.

Giles sat back on his heels, his arms shaking slightly from the exertion. He was hesitant, unsure what to do, when the decision was taken from him. Spike reached up, cupped the back of his neck and pulled him down into a tight, cool - and now rather damp - hug.

Giles had never lain on someone else's sperm, but it smelt surprisingly familiar: that damp ocean smell that lulled him to sleep and told his brain that he was in his own post-orgasmic slump. Just before he fell into this much-needed sleep, Spike took hold of one of his warm hands and slid it up inside his T-shirt and onto his cool belly. The contrast of temperatures was incredibly seductive, and it was on the tip of Giles' tongue to point this out, when he fell into a light doze.

When he woke, Spike had turned on his side, and Giles assumed it was this movement that had woken him.

It was incredibly dark: the candle having long burnt down. Giles wanted to see what the time was so felt gently in Spike's pocket for his lighter and got up to find out. He relit the candle, saw some more standing alongside it and lit those, too; the increased light allowing him to see the vampire properly for the first time that night. He smiled fondly at the ruffled blond hair and the rumpled clothes. It was nearly six. He had to leave. but couldn't. He lay back down, and turning his face from Spike's seductive back, folded his arms under his head and began to think about the coming night.

He didn't even get to start the thought. He was looking up at a startling ocean chalked in bold lines and colours on the ceiling of the crypt. It was as if he were standing once more at the viewpoint. Waves crashed in on some invisible shore, angry and heaving. In their overwhelming, terrifying midst, dreadful, inhuman creatures were tossed about, screaming and reaching for help that would never come to them. It immediately made Giles think of medieval depictions of hell, but something about the creatures, so familiar, so. everyday for Sunnydale, made him wonder if it wasn't Spike's watery fearful vision of his own unlife, and this realisation made Giles shudder. Something drew his eye though; something made him catch his breath in wonder. In the middle of this nightmarish ocean stood a small beacon, and it shone its warm light in a pool onto the waters, and where it struck, all was still and calm. Here the water shone, and looked inviting and safe. Giles didn't know whom, or what, this beacon represented to Spike - he wasn't sure it mattered all that much - but the whole picture. undid him. That Spike could produce such an allegory of his unlife, and that he should want it here, above him as he slept, actually brought tears to his eyes. He turned towards the sleeping figure, slipped one arm under the blond head and pulled him back into a tight all-forgiving spoon.

He was completely late for work the next day not arriving until well after ten. Anya looked pointedly at him and made a show of serving a customer. one of many in the busy shop. Giles nodded at her and mumbled an excuse. He quickly made himself busy, glad of the distraction from his thoughts: they were all for the blond figure he'd left sleeping peacefully that morning. He wasn't too sure that Spike had been asleep when he'd finally extracted himself and left, but he'd been grateful for the pretence, if that was what it was. Everything that happened with the intriguing vampire confused him. Every moment he spent with him only sent him spinning off in another direction. Had he actually accused Spike of not being able to appreciate beauty?

For the first time, Giles began to see Spike not as a vampire that had once been a man but, critically, as a man that had been forced against his will to be a vampire. Giles wondered for the first time what it was like to be undead. He'd thought about vampires for years: studied them, researched them, fought them, killed them. but he never empathised with them. He did now, wondering what he would be like had he been turned. He hoped he'd be like Spike but had the disturbing thought that he would not have survived long enough to know.

Xander was the first of the gang to turn up and sat down to wait for those with more active and fulfilling lives. If he noticed that Giles was out of sorts again, he didn't comment on it, but once or twice gave Anya a nod and puzzled frown in the watcher's direction.

Giles was the only one pleased when, just after lunch, Spike shot into the shop, casting aside his blanket and cursing about the sun as usual. He sauntered up to the research table and sat down next to the watcher, putting his feet up on the table. Looking at no one in particular, he said, rather distinctly, 'It's so fucking hot. Can't wait for tonight.'

Xander looked up and hesitated, deciding whether he could be bothered with sparring in the heat. He decided it was always worth it for Spike and said, 'Heat affecting the dead now, is it Spike?'

Giles winced: he felt like a reformed racist at a Klan meeting. He wanted to say something to smooth the comment. He really wanted to lean over and smack the idiot boy but had to refrain. He should have known there was no need. Spike tipped his chair right back, lit a cigarette and smiled inwardly with the pleasure of his own superiority. He stared at the boy for a moment, and then said with deceptive neutrality, 'Makes me decompose faster, yeah.'

Giles suppressed a small chortle but knew that Spike had heard it. Xander looked at Spike nervously, and then at Giles. 'He's joshing, ain't he watcher-man? Dead boy can't really. go slushy, can he?'

Giles didn't look up from the book he was pretending to read. 'There have been cases of vampires' parts falling off in extreme heat, yes..' He left a magnificent pause and then said casually, 'Fingers. toes.. That sort of thing.'

Xander's eyes grew wide, and he glanced down at Spike's long, slim fingers. Helpfully, Spike wriggled them on the table and then suppressed a chuckle as the human paled. He pouted a little and said innocently, ''Course, they'll grow back.' As if feeling he ought to be a pleasant conversationalist, he added, 'Angel's dick fell off one summer in Italy, but it grew back like. slowly.'

Giles coughed violently against his hand and had to take his glasses off to wipe them, tears running down his face. 'Sometimes of course they don't grow back in exactly the same place.. Or in the same shape come to that.' He risked his first direct look at Spike and almost managed to keep a straight face: until Spike turned and favoured him, too, with the innocent look. Giles bit his lip. He looked up at the ceiling. He drew on all his reserves and recovered enough to ask almost fluently. 'Isn't that so, Spike?'

Spike, clearly much better at this game, nodded wisely. 'Yeah, it was never the same again after that.' Bravely seeking something positive from the unfortunate situation, he added helpfully, 'But it was much easier to reach, which I guess was good for Angel. Not so good for Darla, but that's another story like.'

Xander's head went from one to the other as if he were watching tennis. His jaw hung open; Giles almost felt sorry for him. He was about to end the game when Buffy arrived and sauntered up to the table. Xander immediately hailed her, 'Hey! Buff? Where was Angel's.? You know..' He blushed, but a quick glance at his own crotch told Buffy exactly what he was referring to.'

Buffy blushed even more, blanched, stopped furiously, started to speak, but turned to Giles who, for some bizarre reason, seemed to be choking. Equally bizarrely, Spike was tapping him lightly on the back with clearly amused, fake concern. Buffy glanced back at the door. 'I'm going out and coming in again. Weirdo spell better be gone.'

Giles got up to speak to her. He stood with his thigh touching Spike's shoulder. 'Sorry. It's nothing, only. it's hot, and I'm looking forward to the night.' He pushed into Spike slightly as he spoke.

Buffy said with cheerful concern. 'You still not sleeping well, Giles?'

Giles paused and moved away to the counter, brushing hard against Spike as he left. He chuckled. 'I'm convinced I won't tonight.'

Xander was still too engrossed picturing Angel naked to comment on Spike's final collapse. Buffy only watched him with disdainful wonder as he staggered helplessly from the shop under his blanket.

Giles watched him leave, but the vampire stayed in his thoughts. On the way home that evening, he bought some wine. Incredibly, an evening drinking wine with Spike was not only a reality, it was going to be just a prelude to something. unthinkable: unthinkable, but infinitely desirable. Giles had no doubt that Spike had joked about Angel like that for a reason, and it was not just to annoy and confuse Xander Harris. Could he ever think of Angel in quite the same way again? Every time the rape came into his mind in the future, it would be softened, even deconstructed by Spike's wickedly innocent face and the feelings that had surged inside him as they'd worked the boy together.

*****
Part 6:

''K then. Let's get this on. Here? Bedroom? I'm easy.'

'NO! Look..' Giles tried to back away from the vampire who had stormed in a few minutes earlier, immediately beginning unbuttoning his shirt.

'Slow down, Spike. I can't. please.. Stop that! Ahh.. For God's sake. stop! Drink? Have a drink. please..'

Spike grinned, but allowed Giles to unclamp his hand where he had attached it firmly to the watcher's crotch. He accepted a generous glass of wine. Giles watched nervously from behind the kitchen counter as Spike held the glass to the light, casting a red glow over his pale skin. It was unnerving, and Giles coughed slightly. 'Spike..'

Spike shed his duster and flung himself into an armchair. 'What, luv? Chickening out again?'

'I did not chicken out - as you so maturely put it - the first time. I'm merely trying to bring a modicum of calm reflection into this scenario.'

'Giles..' Spike looked at him through lowered lashes as he sipped his drink. Giles risked coming closer and sat opposite the vampire on the couch. 'Did it ever occur to you, human, that there's a time for talkin' and a time for. not talkin': for just doing and enjoying?'

'My talking is designed to ensure that there is enjoyment.'

'But you're always alone, so your theory can't be all that good. You're too hesitant, mate; you think things through like this was a bloody research project and someone's gonna examine you on it.'

'I do not. I can be spontaneous.'

'Un huh.' He looked pointedly around the empty apartment. Giles began to look annoyed. 'This whole bloody exercise, if you remember vampire, was because you couldn't get it up. Nothing to do with me at all.' Giles missed Spike's small pleased grin and complacent lean back in the chair. 'That whole debacle with the museum was to prove to you that your very headlong, manic way of going about things was driving away any potential lovers. Because - let's be sure about this Spike - you aren't really a vampire anymore, are you? Vampire rules don't apply. More talking and less. shagging. has been good for you.'

Spike nodded. 'But I know what I need now, watcher; I need you up in that bed of yours.'

'Yes, well, that's what I was trying to say.' Giles got up and refreshed their glasses. 'Only. if you can't . you know. because of your chip, and I can't let you anyway because of memories of. him, then it had just occurred to me what the alternative was. And that - I'm not afraid to admit - rather threw me.'

Spike could hardly keep a straight face at the genuine panic etched on the human's face. 'You shaft me, ya mean?'

'Oh God.' Giles took a huge swallow of wine at the mere thought. 'I mean, I assume it wouldn't be the first time for you.? You've done this before?'

Spike put a hand to his mouth as if yawning and tried to keep the laughter out of his voice. 'Yeah, once or twice.'

Giles nodded wisely as if the research was going well. 'So, how did you and your. partner. decide who would be. underneath?'

Spike stood up and went back to the counter totally unable to hide his expression and poured himself some more wine with a shaking hand. 'It were spontaneous like, pet, as I said. Angelus always liked to pretend it were gonna be me..'

'Angelus?'

Spike turned. 'Yeah.'

'You and Angelus had a. sexual relationship?'

'Yeah.'

'Oh. That's not in the diaries: that's new.'

Giles' mind spun rapidly. Spike stood and watched him, unable to help, waiting for him to come to the realisation for himself. He did. He suddenly stood and came up to Spike. 'What he did to me in that ghastly place.. Oh God! You weren't wheeled in to watch, were you? I was raped because you were there.. It was all to do with you and him, wasn't it? Not me. He wasn't saying anything about me. Oh my God, all this time.. It wasn't me: not something he saw in me. He was trying to humiliate you. make you jealous?'

Spike nodded sadly. 'Yeah, sorry, mate. I kinda figured it that way meself, but there never seemed no point trying to explain it like.'

Giles sat on the arm of the couch deep in thought. Spike looked at him. He had the distinct impression that shagging was off the agenda again.

Giles surprised him. He looked up, beaming. 'Tell me again how you two decided these things then.'

Spike grinned. 'Told you, we fought for it usually: strongest got to be on top.'

'So you are rather practiced at being underneath then.'

Spike chuckled. 'Nah. You're forgetting he's a great poof. Angelus had a neat line in pretending to lose: he loved taking it.'

Spike came and sat on the couch; Giles moved off the arm and sat next to him. He looked hesitantly at his hands for a moment, and then said, 'So, this was limited to Angelus, was it?' He tried hard to maintain a disinterested researcher's tone but knew he wasn't being too successful. 'I mean, you and Angel don't still.. Do you?'

Spike looked frankly at him. 'One day, mate. I'm kinda giving him some space to get over the initial thrill of having that soul.'

'Err. he's been souled for over ninety years, Spike.'

''Xactly, it's early days. Give 'im another ninety, and I might go on a little visit to LA.' Spike looked down for a moment, and then added softly, `'Sides, he left me, ya know? Cus I was too much for `im, I think. with that soul an' all. You don't get over being. left.'

Giles shook his head, bemused that he was sharing these things with Spike. 'This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I imagined evenings in with you, wine, and conversation.'

Spike looked at him wide-eyed. 'You'd thought about us. before all this?'

Giles didn't see any point lying. 'Yes. I did.' He laughed at his own foolishness. 'I wanted to take you to foreign films and talk about them with you over fine wine. And out loud that sounds even more pathetic than it did in my head. Feel free to make your usual sport of me.'

Spike sprung up and got his duster. 'Let's go.'

Giles stood up. 'What?'

'Come on.. Something obscure and foreign, and I'll complain how bad the sub-titles are all the way through. Ain't like I'm in the mood now for shagging anyway. And I want a large popcorn and. let's take the wine, yes?'

Giles grinned. 'I think popcorn in an arthouse is a rather vain hope, but the wine I concur with.'

Giles could hardly keep his face from betraying just how keenly he felt this gesture of Spike's. They strode through the warm evening together. The vampire kept up an almost constant stream of chatter about the people and things they passed, not stinting on his own Spike-esque view of life. He even had the nerve to stop Giles just before they crossed the road to their destination and say, 'Am I talking 'nough for you, mate? Seeing you said this was me best way to a shag.. I've got high hopes for you now in this film.'

Giles punched at his arm lightly, laughing, and was about to pull him closer to reply in a less inhibited way than he usually did when he froze.

'Hey! Giles! What ya doin'?'

Both Spike and Giles mumbled a simultaneous, 'Oh, bloody hell,' and then grinned shyly and conspiratorially at each other.

'Xander - how nice. And Anya - even nicer. But do excuse us, we're going to the film over there, and I do believe it starts in a few minutes.'

Xander looked between them. 'You and Spike. Spike? Spike and you.'

Spike looked at him calmly. 'I'm translating for 'im. He pays real well.'

'Okay, cool.'

'We'll come with you; beady eyes needs some culture.'

They all turned to Anya with horror on their faces. Giles was the first to recover. 'No!' He turned to Xander for rare support. 'Not your sort of film, Xander, believe me.'

Caught between Anya and Giles, Xander took the only course open to him. He punched Giles lightly. 'Sure it is. Come on, Baby.' He took her arm and marched them ahead towards the small cinema.

Spike began to laugh. Giles shook his head slowly. 'I seem to remember making a comment about inauspicious starts..'

Spike turned to him so his back was to the retreating couple, and ran a finger down Giles' shirt. 'That was just before you gave me a bloody good hand job, so I'm seeing this as a small set back, 's all.' Giles gave the couple a quick look and then swiftly kissed Spike. It was a mistake: desire flared between them. Spike tried to pull him back for more. Giles resisted, but his reluctance was obvious. 'Come on.. It would look too suspicious to pull out now.'

They followed Anya's blond hair into the small, dark auditorium. She and Giles both wanted to keep Xander and Spike apart, so sat next to each other in the middle, pushing the other two to the outside. Spike slid out of his duster and laid it casually on his lap so some of it fell across Giles' too, crossed his leg and rested the ankle on his other knee. Giles took off his glasses and polished them. Anya and Xander began their pre-snog ritual with hands and feet.

Giles ignored them for a while, and then turned to Spike with an amused chuckle, whispering, 'You're not going to storm out again because of them, are you?'

Spike slid his hand out of sight under his duster and transferred it to Giles' lap: it replied for him.

Pleased, Giles turned to the screen. The opening credits confused him slightly. Spike twitched up an eyebrow. ''K. That's a good start.. I don't speak bleedin' Swedish.'

Giles frowned and whispered back, 'No, neither do I. It's not supposed to be this one. We won't get much out of it, I'm afraid, unless there are sub. oh. Bloody hell!'

Spike began to grin and tightened his hold on Giles' thigh. ''Ave a feeling we won't need sub-titles on this one, pet.'

Giles tipped his head to one side, trying to work out who was doing what to whom on the screen. Anya and Xander stilled their petting and stared at the screen dumbfounded. Xander leant around and said conversationally to Giles, 'So, this is how you get your kicks, is it Watcher? My God, but you're a dark one.' He hissed louder to Spike. 'Hey! Dead boy. This'll embarrass even you!'

Spike was too riveted to bother replying and only gave him a slow, two-fingered salute. Anya stood it for about three minutes, until Xander's prurient interest and excessive drool made her stand up fuming and drag at his arm. 'We're going.' Reluctantly, Xander allowed himself to be escorted out.

Giles and Spike began to chuckle, and their suppressed laughter caused a few heads to turn. Giles turned to Spike and whispered, 'I'm feeling very odd, sitting here watching Swedish porn with another man.'

Without taking his eyes off the screen, Spike leant over and whispered back, 'Who's that then, pet?'

Giles slapped at the vampire's thigh, but Spike caught his hand, capturing it under his duster. Within a minute, the hand was once more down the front of his jeans, reacquainting itself with an interesting collection of skin, muscle and hair.

Giles shifted slightly so he was almost leaning on Spike's shoulder. 'Just as well you're so thin.' Spike didn't reply, only put his hand lightly on the human's moving wrist and slid down further in the seat to accommodate the exploration.

Giles put aside his natural aversion to porn, his discomfort at appearing seedy, and his disappointment at missing the opportunity to bring Spike to a good film, and just enjoyed what was on offer. He didn't watch the film: he watched Spike's profile, sensing and enjoying the vampire's increasing arousal. His hands roamed over now familiar ground, the soft balls welcoming his cupping palm, the steel shaft twitching in his eager fingers.

Suddenly, as if sensing some of Giles' thoughts, Spike said quietly, 'Means we'll have to do this 'gain, don't it? 'Til we get it perfect like.'

'Hmm?' Giles' reply was hardly more than a murmur.

Spike turned to face him, their mouths less than an inch apart. 'Dunno 'bout you, but I've no intention of this being a one-off. Gonna keep at it, 'til it's perfect.'

Giles laughed quietly. 'Filling some of those ninety years, Spike?'

Spike looked amused. ''Xactly. But let me know if you wanna join me in eternity, luv. Offer is always there, an' it'll only take me a minute.'

Giles' hand stilled momentarily, then resumed. 'Don't even joke about it, Vampire.'

''K. Only, offer's there like.'

The film became bizarre - the usual porn-attempting-to-be-art addition of themes of power and subjugation, victims and victimisation - and Giles decided he'd had enough.

He gave Spike a final soft caress and withdrew his hand. 'Let's go.'

Spike nodded and they reached the welcoming night air. Spike shrugged his duster back on. 'What now then? Drink? Walk? Something..'

He was pushed back into a dark alley, warm lips seeking his urgently. 'Home. Now. I'm done talking, Spike.'

Good as his word, Giles strode off and remained stubbornly silent all the way home. By the time they reached the front door, they were both tense and wound to a peak of suppressed desire. Giles didn't even bother with lights; he just pushed Spike through the doorway and rammed him against the counter. He ripped open the vampire's shirt and ran his hands over the smooth cool chest, groaning. Spike undid his own jeans and with a hiss of intense relief, released the straining erection. He caught hold of Giles behind his head and tried to push him onto his knees. Giles resisted at first but, with a sense of inevitability, sank until his face was presented with the swaying shaft. The heat of the moment drew Giles forward, and for the first time in his life, he tasted another man's precum. The last vestige of his rational mind left, and he moved only on instinct, desire, and long-repressed need. Cupping Spike's balls, he opened his mouth wide and took the tip of Spike's shaft into the side of his mouth, letting it rub against the warmth of his soft cheek walls. He felt the shaft of the penis twitching against his lips and closed onto it firmly, groaning at the vampire's soft moan of pleasure.

Spike's hands fastened tighter around the back of his head, pulling him uncomfortably closer. He felt as if he would gag, so let Spike know by using his teeth momentarily. Spike winced and bent slightly at the waist with the pain, but released his hold, letting Giles take things at his own pace. Freed, Giles felt bold and took the shaft deeper himself, experimenting with the feel of it against his throat. The soft curls brushed his lips; his nose was pressed into the musky scents; he felt himself rising uncomfortably in his constricting clothes.

Spike was lost to the sensation of the warm mouth on him. He rocked his hips into Giles' face and moaned as he felt a powerful orgasm beginning to build. Giles felt immensely powerful and this heady sense of his own skill emboldened him further: he began to work the erection, sliding tightly compressed lips up and down the now slick and warming shaft. Spike arched back, tried to mumble a frantic warning, but too late.. Giles' mouth was filled with cold, salty fluid, and his hair was almost pulled out at the roots as the vampire rode his ejaculation into the human mouth. No option but to swallow, Giles gulped, and his rational mind fought for dominance to remind him sneakily that he now had vampire fluid inside him. He smiled and pressed further into Spike, licking him, trying to sense what Spike needed. When the jerking and release of cool fluid stopped, he moaned for the loss. He knew it had not been the blowjob of the year, but that thought only made him want to practice more.

As if Spike once more sensed what he was thinking, Giles found himself raised to his feet and thrust back against the counter. Spike undid him and took him in his mouth in a seamless movement. Giles gasped at the pleasure, but the gasp became a groan of deep delight as his penis was lodged into vice-like throat muscles and worked until all his nerve endings screamed for release. Just when he thought it was all over and he would explode, Spike pulled off and took the soft balls in his mouth, tonguing them and separating them in their warm sac. Giles had to hold onto the counter behind him.

This had never, ever happened to him before. Before Giles' brain had really registered the intense pleasure, Spike was once more stimulating the slit of his cock with his tonsils. Giles' knees felt weak, and he had the ludicrous thought that he might collapse. Spike began to pull the hard shaft with his lips, dragging Giles' foreskin up and over, then plunging back on again. Once more, Giles felt as if the world were imploding into his loins: his ears were humming; his eyes were watery; but still the vampire timed the easing-off to perfection. This time he licked the balls and pressed them into Giles' groin with his tongue as he gently flicked at the blood-red cockhead with a black nail. Giles groaned and closed his eyes. As much as he wanted to watch Spike's face as he sucked him, he needed the privacy of the dark to fully anticipate the orgasm that was simmering in his loins. Therefore, he missed Spike's subtle sucking of one finger, so when the vampire plunged his mouth back onto Giles' erection, the gentle insertion of one finger into his anus was not rejected. Nothing would have dragged the confession out of Giles, but he actually only noticed what Spike had done when the vampire began to swirl the finger around inside the tight ring of muscle. Spike timed this move with a particularly hard rubbing of the cockhead against his throat and a soft humming vibration in his vocal chords, so Giles did nothing but cry out in intense, almost uncontrollable enjoyment. He felt the finger moving further in.

Spike was pressing hard with his face, pushing the human back onto his steel-hard finger. Giles felt a prickling of fear under his arms, and a trickle of sweat ran down his back, but when Spike gently tickled over his prostate gland, Giles screamed, and neither he, Spike, nor the chip were deceived about the meaning of that scream. Spike grinned around the thick penis and did it again: this time constricting his throat and licking up the vein under the shaft at the same time. The result didn't surprise him: a pool of warm sperm filled his mouth, and the human actually jerked himself free from the finger with his rapid, furious, humping orgasm. Giles too ripped at the hair in front of him, holding the vampire on, thrusting into him, bringing himself off in the most intense orgasm he'd ever had. It seemed to last for many minutes: even that was too short. Giles cursed when his hold on Spike's hair changed from rough passion, to just holding him up. No good: his knees buckled; he fell. Spike eased him onto the floor, and Giles lay on the cool tile as if he would never rise again.

Spike wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and got up to look for a drink. He poured them both one and carried them back to the watcher. He pulled Giles into a sitting position and propped him up against the counter. He was about to pass him a drink, when he grinned and straddled Giles' outstretched legs. He took a mouthful of whisky and leant into the watcher. Giles wasn't really conscious yet - in a sort of physical slump - but he responded to what he thought was a kiss by opening his mouth as Spike got closer. The alcohol dribbled in from Spike's mouth, and they could both taste the slightly salty tinge to it. Giles didn't pull away - which surprised him - and urged Spike to feed him some more. The drink perked him up considerably (as Spike had intended it to), and the vampire sat back with a pleased look on his face, finishing the rest of the drink himself.

Giles looked frankly at him. 'I don't think you should have done that.'

Spike put on a patient look. 'You didn't object, did you? And I know you liked it when I touched..'

'Not that.'

'Oh.' Spike frowned. 'What then, pet?'

'You really don't know humans all that well, do you Spike? You shouldn't have brought me off at all before.. I'm afraid that's rather done me in for the night.'

Spike's slowly dawning look of comprehension made Giles laugh.

'Once? You can only cum once a night? You are bloody joking, aren't you? Surely that's just a myth?'

Giles smiled at the odd choice of words. 'No, Spike, no myth. Human men. sorry. And I'm not a spring chicken; I'm afraid that once a night would actually be. err. something rather to be aimed for.. If you see what I mean.'

'Oh. Fuck.'

'Quite.'

Suddenly, Spike sprang up. 'Never no mind. Come on, I've a better idea anyway.' He dragged Giles up the stairs and pushed him onto the bed, then spun on his heel and began to collect an odd assortment of things, bringing them eagerly to the bed, and making a small collection. The alcohol Giles understood. The books and other assorted things puzzled him. Finally, Spike came back empty handed and stripped off his T-shirt and jeans, standing naked in front of Giles. 'Strip.'

'Me?'

'Yep. Get naked, Rupert.'

Reluctantly, Giles took off his shirt, shoes and socks. He began to undo his trousers, but stopped suddenly and -as if not really bothered - said, 'Oh, I might take a shower,' and began to walk towards the bathroom. Two strong arms slid around him from the back and finished the undressing for him. He was forced to step out of his trousers, and Spike eased his boxers down and pulled them free, too. Giles was completely naked and kept his back resolutely turned to Spike. 'I really do need that shower, Spike.'

'That's as may be, Giles, later. Get on the bed.'

With his back still turned, Giles slid under a sheet and immediately relaxed until Spike ripped it off and sat crossed legged next to him.

Giles made his own privacy by folding an arm over his eyes. Spike looked at him for a moment, then dipped his finger in the bottle of whisky, tipped it up, and dragged the alcohol-coated finger over the warm lips. The human caught at the finger eagerly, and sucked on it for a while. Spike sat patiently repeating the exercise until gradually, the arm relaxed and was eventually removed. Spike twitched up an eyebrow. 'Hello.'

Giles pouted a little. 'How can you bear this. with me? After. him. He's so bloody. beautiful.'

Spike kept his gaze fixed on the anxious human and said carefully, 'I can't appreciate beauty, so I dunno, do I?'

Giles winced and was about to launch into a long apology when he saw Spike's eyes sparkle with suppressed mirth. 'Bastard.'

Spike chuckled. 'I do what I want, human. At this moment, I want you. So that's what I'm doing, an' it ain't really 'bout bodies with you. As you say, I've had bodies. will 'ave 'em again. It's what you represent that does it for me.. Turns me on, if you like.'

'What I represent?'

'Yeah. You're stability. You're security. You're maturity. And I'm bringing them all down. I'm seeing the real you, and that makes me so horny, I'd fuck myself if I could contort that much.'

Giles frowned and sat up. He listened to Spike's words but heard something underneath them that intrigued him. and he didn't think the vampire was aware it was there.

Spike snapped him out of his reverie by scooping his collection of stuff into the middle of the bed and throwing a pack of cards at him.

'Lick poker!'

Giles coughed. 'I don't think I've had the pleasure of that game before. and the rules are?'

'Work 'em out for yourself as we go along, pet.'

It took Giles a few hands to get the hang of the rules, and as he kept losing, he had to do all the licking. Spike wasn't shy either in his suggestions of what the loser had to lick, and Giles had a swift introduction to the parts of Spike he hadn't yet seen or touched. Spike was impressed beyond measure when Giles began to cheat. He couldn't see how the human was doing it, but as he began to lose hand after hand, he knew he must be. He cursed the first time Giles made him do the licking, not from distaste of running his tongue over that small puckered entrance - he was even tempted to slip the tip in and give Giles more than he was owed - but from the annoying thought that the watcher was getting one over on him. The next hand, he watched the watcher hawk-like, knew he'd done it again, but still couldn't prove it. He pounced on Giles, making him sit up, checking all around the bed space, but as Giles said: naked cheating was all but impossible. Spike got tired of that game and rummaged again in his collection, producing two books. Giles eyed him with suspicion: he couldn't see how even Spike could make a sexual game out of reading.

He didn't intend to. He pulled Giles into the bed with him and carefully arranged the covers over them both. He snuggled down onto Giles' chest and pulled the free arm around him. 'You have to shut up a bit now, Watcher, and stop all that jabbering of yours, k'? I'm reading now.'

Giles didn't get it, but he obediently picked up the book Spike had selected for him and began to read. After a while, he realised that he was stroking Spike's hair with his free hand, unconsciously, naturally, as if they lay in bed together like this all the time and were so comfortable with each other, knew each other so well, that they could read instead of.. Giles glanced away from the page and looked over the bed. He felt his heart give a small, quick beat. Spike had gathered together a mock-detritus of a day in bed. Cards, newspapers, snacks, the telephone, and the remote control: all strewn on the bed as if the two of them had been there all day, and this was the quiet time after the storm.

Giles looked down at the vampire's lowered head, wondering what went on in that complex brain, and with a smile, bent down and kissed into the soft hair. Spike shifted slightly on his chest, but turned his page and continued to read.

Giles fell asleep. Spike felt the book drop from the human's hand and put his down, too. He'd read it before anyway. He sometimes thought he'd done everything before, but then this. this was all new. He'd never lain in bed with a human and been allowed to listen to his heartbeat for hours as he just had with Giles. He'd never met anyone who could cheat him at cards and get away with it. He'd never met anyone so.. Spike couldn't put it into words, even in his own head, but a small thought, like a tiny beacon, nagged at the back of his brain. It was as if he'd come home. but that was unlikely. It was as if Giles were his. that was too weird to pursue. He hadn't felt safe for a very long time, and that was what he'd felt for the last few hours, with Giles' fingers combing though his hair. He closed his eyes to this last thought and let himself fall into the calm, safe sea he went to in his dreams, and the beacon of light was strong and held him in those calm safe waters, never letting him be sucked into the morass that always lay just outside the light.

*****