*****

"FINE! I�LL JUST FORGET ABOUT MY SOCIAL LIFE THEN!!" Buffy screamed from the hall down to her mother.

The mother-daughter relationship had been on the rocks for weeks now, both being too stubborn to back away from an inevitable fight. Although the cause for frequent arguments was unknown, the current Summers� spat was revolved around the want to have fun on the slayer�s part. Buffy had been waiting all week to hang out with the Scoobs at the Bronze, but her failure to give her mother some notice about her future whereabouts had put Joyce into a cross mood. Her mother had denied Buffy�s plea to leave the house, which sent Buffy stomping up the stairs where she now stood at her bedroom door.

"MOM?"

"What Buffy?" Joyce half called, half sighed to her daughter.

"Please??" Buffy asked one last time.

"My answer is still no! Someone needs to stay here and watch Dawn, and I have a meeting at the gallery! That�s final."

Buffy rolled her eyes. That�s final? How come parents always said that? Like that little phrase would stop a determined teenager from further argument. But somehow Buffy managed to back down. She opened her door and slammed it behind her. Not satisfied with the effect, she opened it again and lingered in the threshold before stepping back and slamming it harder. The frame to the door split and pieces of wood shattered off the hinges. Buffy stood there frozen, grimacing at the fact that she would no doubt have to pay for the damage in the near future.

She sighed and let her head fall towards the floor.

"Since when did you start acting *my* age?"

"Get out Dawn!" Buffy said irritably.

"Why should I? I was here first" Dawn protested.

Now the slayer was pissed. Not only was she the reason that Buffy had to bail on her friends, but now Dawn was taunting her?

"It�s my Goddamn room, now GET OUT!" Buffy yelled. Dawn�s eyes widened and she hesitantly made her way off the bed. Not only had her older sister screamed at her, but she had also sworn, something Dawn wasn�t used to coming from Buffy. Dawn glared at her sister before opening the door.

"Oh don�t�" Buffy began as Dawn banged the door shut behind her, "slam it." She finished flatly.

The petite blonde moped over to her bed and plopped down. She grabbed a magazine and flipped on the radio. It was stationed in the middle of a Fiona Apple song.

//Oh you creep up like the clouds
And you set my soul at ease//

"Good. Angry girl music; something I can relate to." Buffy mumbled while flipping through some pages of the latest Seventeen.

//Then you let your love abound,
And you bring me to my knees.
Oh it�s evil, babe, the way you let your grace
Enrapture me//

Buffy looked up from her magazine and frowned. Somehow the song began to remind her of Faith.

"I so don�t need that right now" She said, shaking off the image of a girl that never could escape her thoughts.

//When will know you I�d be insane-
To ever let that dirty game recapture me
You made me a, shadowboxer baby,
I wanna be ready for what you do.
I been swingin all around me
�Cause I don�t know when you�re
Gonna make your move//

Buffy frowned yet again, but tossed the magazine to the side. Her mind couldn�t help but wonder back to Faith.

*I wonder how she�s doing,* Buffy thought *God, I can�t believe she turned herself in. I-I should be happy though right? I mean, I�m the one that wanted her there�but did I really want her gone? It�s been so long since I�ve looked into those eyes�*

Buffy�s lip unconsciously curled as she realized what she was thinking?

"Since when do I give a damn about Faith�s eyes??" She asked herself aloud.

"Who�s Faith?" Dawn yelled from the hallway.

"She�s�she�s no one now leave me alone�I MEAN IT!"

The slayer then heard her sister scamper to her room.

//Oh, your gaze is dangerous
And you fill your space so sweet
If I let you get too close, you�ll set your
Spell on me. So darlin� I just wanna say
Just in case I don�t �come through
I was on to every play
I just wanted you//

*Why am I caring so much about her? She turned my life into a living hell�worse she pretended she cared about me then acted like we didn�t even know each other. I would have done anything to help her�everything and anything.*

Buffy knit her brow and started to fiddle with her comforter. She continued to listen to the song.

//So I�ll be sure to stay weary of you, love,
To save the pain of once my flame and
Twice my burn�//

*That�s what she did, damn it, she burned me. I was so good to her and she burned me. But I guess I could have tried harder. I was scared though. I hadn�t felt that close to anyone since Angel, and no one since them. God, I loved her so much�*

Buffy�s eyes whet wide and she dropped the blanket. Her breathing became slightly heavy and she looked around her room.

"Huh?" was all the slayer managed to get out. She always knew that she cared for Faith, but love her? Then again, that feeling she always had while thinking, looking, or talking to Faith---that undeniable dull, but ticklish feeling way down in the pit of her stomach�had to be something more than friendship right? And the feeling only intensified when she realized that she had lost her fellow slayer over to the dark side. Her only outlet was to brutally hate Faith; it was much easier than accepting the truth. She hated loving Faith, only she had to have hated Faith first in order to recognize that love.

But she regretted their last encounter. She regretted everything she said and did. There Faith was, reforming�saying she was sorry (well trying to)�and Buffy had completed bitched her out.

*It wasn�t my fault. Seeing Angel AND Faith, together�it was too much. The two people who have the power to turn my heart to goo�were together. What else was I supposed to do? Suggest a threesome? *

Buffy couldn�t help but smile slightly at that thought. She caught herself and shook her head, continuing to frown and contemplate.

*I haven�t even gone to visit her. I didn�t even get to say goodbye, or explain�*

The guilt washed over the slayer until her insides were screaming at her to get off the bed. She obeyed and grabbed her jacket, sneaking out of her window to do something she should have done long ago.

//I been swinging all around me
�Cause I don�t know when you�re gonna make your move//

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The guard tossed Faith into her cell and she willingly banged into the back wall. The once rogue slayer slumped down and rested her arms over her knees, not caring if the guard should decide to once again play the game of �how much can a girl bleed in one beating?�

Fortunately, the butch looking woman only scoffed at the pitiful sight before her and slammed the bars shut. With the jiggle of a large key ring, she spun on the ball of her huge army boot and was gone. Faith was left alone, again, with only her thoughts to torment her.

She looked around her almost empty cell. The chamber pot was sitting not too far away from her slumped form. That�s right, chamber pot; apparently they liked to treat the real whack jobs as if they were dogs. The sheets on the bed were pulled back into tight, wrinkle free corners. The small, static radio Faith had earned on the count of good behavior lay on the bed, and only one other object in the tiny room remained. It was the one that kept Faith going after all this time. It was the first thing Faith looked at in the morning, the only thing she stared at during the day, and the one thing she glanced at in the moonlight before tucking it under her pillow and falling into a restless sleep---a small and crumpled picture of Buffy Summers.

Faith smiled as she remembered the day she had gotten the picture. The slayers were in Buffy�s room, ready for another night out in the graveyard when Faith had spotted it sitting on Buffy�s dresser�.

Faith laughed as she picked up a wallet-sized school picture of Buffy.

["Aaaw, aren�t we the cute one" She taunted.

Buffy spun around from the mirror, eyeliner in hand, and snickered at Faith.

"Hey shut up, at least I got one done!"

"That wasn�t my fault!"

"Oh, yeah, and you just decided not to show up because you were busy in study hall?" Buffy asked sarcastically while turning back to the mirror and continuing to put on the eyeliner. Faith shrugged.

"I had to go to the bathroom." She protested

"Uuh huh." Buffy said, batting her eyelids at the mirror.

"It really is a good picture B. You�re a natural in front of the camera. You know, you could model for one of those makeup commercials! Maybe it's maybelline" Faith sang.

"And the mocking will stop when?" Buffy said as she turned around and walked over to Faith.

"I�m not mocking, I�m being serious�you�re a piece!" Faith grinned. Buffy blushed and went to go grab the picture.

"Nuh uh, it�s mine now!" Faith teased, holding the picture as high as her arm would stretch.

"C�mon Faith, give it back" Buffy laughed as she went for the pic again.

"Say please!" Faith laughed as she watched Buffy jump up and down. The brunette grabbed the blonde�s advancing arms and the two slayers struggled with each other before tripping over one another�s feet and landing on the bed. They stared into brown and green eyes for a few moments before Buffy cleared her throat.

"We better go. Vamps are out and about lookin for snacks" Faith nodded in agreement and absent-mindedly put the picture in her pocket. She carried it with her ever since.]

"43100!!!" The guard came to the cell and banged on the bars. Faith�s musings were interrupted and she jumped as the once silent cell was filled with noise.

"Yeah?" She asked weakly, not looking up.

"You got someone here to see you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy followed the guard about half way and then stopped in her tracks.

*What the hell am I doing here? What am I gonna say? I�I can�t do this---I�m not ready to tell her how I feel. Nowhere close am I to being ready* She thought as she quickly turned around and advanced out of the Penitentiary. Her stomach ached of guilt and regret as she thought of another day where Faith had to be alone.

*Soon* Buffy silently promised to her one time friend as she hurried back home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So where is he?" Faith asked. She used "he" because she figured it was Angel�who else would take the time to see her? It certainly wasn�t who she so desperately hoped it was every time the guard bellowed out her number. She quit fooling herself long ago and opted to stick with the more believable question of where "he" was.

The guard came stomping back, a slight smirk on her ugly-ass face.

"False alarm. They came and went. Probably realized that trash like you isn�t worth the time."

Faith scoffed and walked over to her bed. She flipped on the radio and turned down the volume.

"Oh and it wasn�t a he�it was some blond chick" The guard called.

"What�" Faith began, but the woman already left to care to seemingly more important things.

Faith glanced at the picture with a look of disbelief and sighed.

"Fucking whore, doesn�t even know what she�s talkin about" Faith said quietly, refusing to believe the description of her no-show visitor. She tilted her head back to rest against the cold, hard concrete wall.

*C�mon Buffy�I need you* Faith thought as she listened to the end of a song that had played for not the first time that night.

//I been swingin at nothin--
I don�t know when you�re gonna make your move�..\\

*****
Part 2:

Buffy struggled with her window, the sleek wetness of newly developed droplets of water making it difficult for the blonde to grasp the pain tightly. When she finally got it open, Buffy slipped into her room praying that her mother or Dawn didn�t here the loud thud that the impact of her body and floor had made.

�Pretty stealthy, Slayer.� She mumbled. She sat silently for a few moments, and when she realized that no one was going to come rushing into her room, she felt confident in going about her business. She shook off her jacket and took it off, throwing onto a hanger while she ruffled her hair to relieve the darkened locks of gold from any further droplets of rain.

The slayer then stripped herself of her garments and put on her nighttime attire while plopping distractedly onto her soft bed. The small light on Buffy�s nightstand reflected off of her face, creating a pliant glow that shadowed her internal contempt at the moment. Buffy continued to stare at nothing, an oblivious mask covering her face while she tried to justify her previous actions in the midst of her silent room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

�LOCK UP!� One of the guards bellowed. Upon command, the various inmates moped to their segregated cells and watched hopelessly as the automatic bars locked securely in front of them, as if they were being slapped in the face in slow motion.

Sporadic screams could be heard throughout the prison while other inmates shouted and cursed for them to stop. Screams of hope, desperation, sadness�loneliness. Every night it was the same, but every night it ironically became that much more bearable for the brunette.

Faith lifted herself from the corner she had been sitting in for the good part of the night while listening to her radio. She dragged her feet towards her bed and sat down on what seemed harder than the floor itself, flipping the tiny switch to cease the music. She swung her boots onto the hard cushion while bringing her hands behind her head and resting them on the semi-cushiony pillow. She stared up at the ceiling, watching a cockroach lazily make it�s way across the cracked grayness of the dampened cement.

It was not until a few moments later that Faith noticed the droplets of water falling from the ceiling and crashing onto her pale forehead. The once-rogue slayer merely looked up and welcomed the coolness of the rusted water, flinching at each impact with her skin. She then noticed that her thin pillow was soaked to the core.

*Jeez, guess you can�t recognize a real shit-hole for what it is until it starts raining* she mused. She looked around the cell before her eyes widened in horror.

�Fuck!!� Faith suddenly hissed as she abruptly bolted from her pillow. She hurriedly threw the soppy thing across the room and looked down at what she desperately hoped she wouldn�t find. The picture of Buffy, the one that had kept her going all these months, was soaked through. The water had allowed the color of the photo to bleed together and all that was recognizable was the golden locks of Buffy�s hair and her hazel eyes.

Faith gathered up the picture and wiped it against her uniform. She smoothed it out as gently as she could, hoping to preserve the remnants. She looked back at the deformed photo and frowned. Her one true possession and memory of the blonde was almost ruined�almost being in that the eyes�Buffy�s eyes�had luckily been saved. She stared down at the photo a smiled half-heartily.

�Still beautiful� She said aloud. Faith�s peaceful eyes began to water and soon her tears were mixing with nature�s own. She rocked gently as she tightly held the picture to her chest.

The penitentiary lights where suddenly shut off, leaving Faith holding her picture protectively in the wet darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*I just left her there* Buffy thought. The blonde had begun to pace her room awhile ago, not being able to fall asleep. She bit her thumbnail nervously while looking about the room wildly.

*I got her hopes up and then I let them down* The guilt and regret had been destroying the blonde for the good part of the night, but she couldn�t shake it off.

*Why couldn�t I just do it damn it? Why can�t I just own up to the fact that I love her?!* The petite slayer stopped in her tracks and ceased the incessant nail biting. She slowly looked up from the floor and a slight smile crept its way up to her lips. She huffed with a slight laugh.

�I love her.� She said out loud, marveling in the way the phrase rolled smoothly off her tongue. Somehow the spoken words brought a sense of calm to the slayer. She had finally admitted it out loud, to herself, and it felt great. She jumped onto her bed and happily tucked the sheet around her, looking up at her star-studded ceiling and drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Buffy knew fully, and confidently, that she would see Faith the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith woke up and blinked her eyes groggily, squinting to take a look at her familiar cage. She sat up and arched her back, stretching her arms out as far as they would go. The photo of Buffy fluttered lightly to the ground and landed face down.

*I musta had it all night* Faith thought as she hurriedly picked up the crumpled frame and wiped it carefully on her uniform; even though the photo was disparagingly dirty at this point, the brunette couldn�t deny her need to preserve the photo�it was all she had.

She looked around her bare surroundings and sighed.

�Another fun-filled day in the life of a slave.� She said aloud as she stood up and prepared to go into the courtyard for the grunt work that filled up most of her days at the prison. She glanced at the picture before the guard pressed the button to unlock the bars, setting the majority of slaves �free� to do work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

�Buffy where are you going?� Joyce asked as her determined daughter was pulling on her coat.

�Out.� Buffy said flatly.

�No, I�m afraid your not.�

�Uh, and I�m afraid your wrong, I�m leaving� Buffy said irritably.

�What has gotten into you? For the past two weeks you�ve been treating me like I�m a stranger�one you loath at that! What�s wrong?� Joyce asked sadly.

�I�I don�t know. Look mom, I�m sorry. I don�t know what�s gotten into me. I know we�ve been fighting a lot lately, but I�ve just had a lot on my mind. And last night was hard for me��

�I�m sorry you had to stay here with Dawn�

�Yeah� Buffy replied, letting her mother think that that was the reason for her distemper.

�All I ask is that you be civil with me?� Joyce pleaded. Buffy smiled and shook her head.

�I know, and I�m sorry. I love you mom�no matter how bitchy I act� She said distractedly. The two Summers� women shared a hug before Buffy pried herself away and headed out the door as fast as she could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visiting hours had once again stumbled into the penitentiary. One of the guards led a sweaty, dirty Faith into her cell. She staggered over to the bed and breathed heavily. The day�s work had managed to get the better of her. She leaned back on the mattress and stared at the wall, a routine she had grown quite accustomed to. Faith was just about to get into serious redemption-thought when the shit-eating butch woman called her number.

�43100! VISITOR. GET YOUR ASS TO THE BOOTH!�

Faith huffed with irritation and got up.

�Tell him I�m not coming today. I don�t wanna talk to anyone right now.�

�IT�S NOT A HE!!�

Faith�s breath caught in her throat for a moment. She looked over at the picture. Swallowing hard, she grabbed it and stuck it in her pocket as she watched the bars open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy sat at the booth quietly, fidgeting with her hands. She looked around her and then back at the solid glass pain when she realized a figure had taken a designated seat across from her. Buffy blinked and opened her mouth slightly when she recognized it as Faith. She couldn�t believe how�worn the other slayer looked. The trade-mark �slut� lipstick had long since been removed from the girl�s face, and no dark makeup was present to distract from those chocolatie brown eyes�eyes that had seen and done things no human being should ever be exposed to. Moreover, the fire---that elicit flame that once dominated Faith�s persona---had been extinguished. Buffy stared into them only seeing peace, serenity and hope. But no matter how Faith looked at the present moment, Buffy still couldn�t deny the utter beauty that managed to take the blonde�s breath away�even now.

The brunette sat there shaking, her dirty hands fumbling for the phone. Buffy sat there calmly, looking at Faith through her own reflection cast upon the glass as she reached for her end.

�Hey� the blonde said quietly.

�Hey� Faith followed.

�How are you?�

�Been better, but I did put myself here y�know?�

�Yeah, I know.� Buffy said regretfully.

�You look like shit� Faith smirked, eyeing the blonde up and down. Buffy bent her head down to look at herself and realized she was wearing the same outfit she had worn last night, and to bed in. She smiled shyly back up at Faith.

�Yeah, so�you do too�

Faith shrugged and smiled.

�I know, but that�s the way the convict crumbles. They don�t give you a lot of time to primp in here B.�

The blonde smiled at the nickname, one in which Faith was only allowed access to. She hesitated before deciding to leave the banter behind.

�I�ve missed you.� Buffy said quietly. Faith squinted her eyes and looked at the slayer carefully.

�Why?�

Buffy was caught off guard with the question. She raised her eyebrows and stared blankly at Faith. The brunette sighed.

�After all that I�ve said and done�how could you possibly miss me Buffy?� The slayer�s full name was used; Faith was dead serious in her inquiry.

�I�I� Buffy started. Faith merely stared her down. Buffy held up her hands

�Ok ok. I don�t know, I just---I don�t feel complete. Ever since you left me, Faith, I�ve never felt the same. And I�m not talking about you coming here, I�m talking about you becoming another person to me�you trying to hurt me all the time�

Faith winced but Buffy continued.

�You were my friend, my partner and my excitement all at the same time. But when you changed to being my enemy as well�I couldn�t take it and part of me died; all that was left was hatred because you turned me away---I thought you didn�t care about me at all. I wanted to hurt you because it was easier than lo---than missing you. But now, with you gone�emotionally as well as physically---I can hardly breath. I need to know that you forgive me for not trying harder with you Faith�I need you to�to understand.� Buffy fell silent and she wiped the tears that had been streaming down her cheeks.

Faith sat there shocked, confused, hurt and filled with so much love at the same time that she thought she was gonna burst. After everything, Buffy was the one asking for forgiveness. She held back the tears that were screaming to be let out and breathed in deeply. Faith silently reached into her pocket and produced the picture. She smoothed it out and stared at it while she spoke.

�I understand Buffy, because I felt the same way.� She looked up at the blonde and slowly pressed the picture to the glass, facing Buffy.

�Member this B? Member me taking it?� Buffy squinted in trying to make out the distorted image but nodded when she finally recognized the image to be herself. Faith continued.

�I�ve had this with me ever since then. This crumpled up photo has been the only thing to keep me going all these months. They give you a lot of time to think in here B, and that�s exactly what I did. Every time I looked at this, I thought of my mistakes�and of you. I thought about how I could make it up to you someday and how things might have been different if I hadn�t turned. But I mostly said to myself �if she knew---if she knew that I did everything out of�love�things might have been given the chance to change. And that was my biggest mistake Buffy�only telling myself and never making my love for you known. I turned because I couldn�t handle bein around you and not bein able to be *with* you. But lookin at this pic everyday for hours on end reminds me that I have something left to fight for. It reminds me that this world isn�t such a shitty place and that there are people who care, and that only makes me want to get outa here all the quicker. I need to get out to show you that I�ve changed, that I *do* really care about you. Now�do you understand.� Faith said, the tears she had fought against winning her over.

Buffy looked at Faith grimly. She sat forward so she was at the edge of her seat and placed her palm to the window pain, holding the phone with her other hand.

�I understand.� She whispered. Faith nodded. She reached out and smiled as she traced the figure of Buffy�s face with her fingers against the glass, finally resting at her outstretched palm.

�Good� Faith said, �Good�� she nodded through droplets that had blurred her vision. The reformed slayer stared at Buffy as the blonde stared back�both understanding and accepting one another. They both knew the love was there, it was undeniable to anyone merely watching; there was no need to speak the words, but Buffy needed to.

�I love you Faith. I always have� Buffy said quietly, now beginning to sob while her palm pressed more frantically against the glass.

�I know Buffy, just as much as you�ve always known that I love you too.� Faith said leaning forward. The slayers would have given anything in the world to be able to touch each other---to be able to experience that long awaited kiss---but the glass would always be there to prevent it.

�VISITING HOURS OVER!� One of the guards yelled. The slayers continued to sit there, staring at each other through frantic tears as there palms pressed so tightly against the glass one would have thought it should have shattered by now.

�Visiting hours up!!� The guard said more sternly, coming into Buffy�s view. She roughly grabbed the phone from Faith�s hand and slammed it down on the receiver, making Buffy flinch. Still, Faith would not move. The woman finally grabbed the brunette under the shoulders and lifted her out of the seat, dragging her out of the chair and across the room. Faith knit her brow and began sobbing, still staring into Buffy�s eyes. The slayers didn�t break the contact until Faith was driven out of the room completely.

Buffy continued to sit in her seat, bringing her hand hesitantly from the window. She then buried her face in her hands, shutting her eyes tight, and crying harder than she ever had in her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Faith awoke to someone banging on her bars.

�This was left for you yesterday.� They said. The brunette got up and reached for the envelope that the guard had in her outstretched hand.

�Thanks�� she mumbled distractedly. She didn�t look up from the thin piece of paper as the guard turned to leave.

�FAITH� was written on the front of it. She turned it around and opened it carefully, taking out the slip of paper that was inside.

Dear Faith�

I will never rest until you are out of there. I won�t wait for you either, because there�ll be no need�I�ll fight for you until you are free. There�s no way I�m letting you slip through my fingers that easily�never again. I love you Faith, never forget that. And don�t even think that another day will pass when I won�t be there to see you. You are my completion�I need you. In the meantime, take this. I�ll always be there to guide you along when things get tough

Love,

Buffy Anne Summers

Faith�s lips curled into a full-blown smile. She knew she would be reading the letter over and over. She was about to place the letter under the pillow when she noticed another item in the envelope. She reached in and pulled out a small, square object. There was a heart drawn on the back of it. When she flipped it over she wanted to cry.

Buffy had given her a new photo�her senior portrait.

The brunette went over to her bed, needing to sit down. She held the picture in her hand and stared at the magnificently beautiful girl whom she loved.

The reformed slayer sat like that, staring at the picture and gripping the letter until nightfall. She knew she�d be out of there soon�and she knew Buffy would be waiting by the gates to give her the kiss she had longed for all her life.

*end*