Buffy looked around the room: at her night stand, her walls, her closet�anything but his eyes. She cursed herself for not being straight with Riley from the beginning because now she had to go through an angered argument. She looked back at Faith who just shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, eyeing Riley from head to toe. Finally, someone spoke.

"That�s funny cuz I thought you were with me" Riley quipped. He stood from the bed and held the pictures up to Buffy�s face. "What the hell is this Buffy? I thought you hated her!" He said, nodding towards Faith.

Buffy�s face grew angry and she followed suit in crossing her arms over her own chest. She looked at Riley sternly.

"I never said I hated her!"

"Why didn�t you tell me?" Riley said in a softer tone. The blonde studied his face, and even though she wasn�t in-love with him anymore, it broke her heart to see his pain. Her demeanor softened a bit and she turned around to address Faith.

"Could you give us a minute?"

Faith unfolded her arms and hesitated, looking a little worried. It had been so good these past few days with Buffy that she dreaded the thought of losing her to Riley.

*What if he turns on the corn-fed charm and she turns to mush again?* Faith thought. The idea of losing Buffy now made her sick. The blonde noticed her discomfort and smiled at her reassuringly.

"Please?" She asked softly. The slayers locked eyes and Faith understood. She knew the blonde wanted her and so Faith convinced herself that the talk with Riley would benefit her. She smiled back at her partner before nodding her head.

"Yeah, sure. I�ll be right outside if you need me" Faith said. Her smile faded as she eyed Riley one last time before slipping out the door and standing on the staircase. When Buffy heard the door close she turned back to Riley.

"I was going to tell you�"

"When?! When the two of you finished beating up the rest of your friends?"

Buffy glared at him and crossed over to her night stand.

"How did you�"

"I talked to Giles. I went over to see if you were there and he told me what happened."

Buffy�s breath caught in her throat. *Oh shit, Giles knows..* she thought. She knew that her watcher was going to do the "Buffy-we-need-to-talk-thing". She dreaded even the idea of talking with Giles; he was like a father to her and---

"So what is this Buffy? Are you gay now or something?"

Buffy snapped out of her thought process and looked up at Riley. She knit her brow and spoke to him as if she were trying to counsel herself.

"No, I�m not gay. I mean I don�t think I am�at least I never thought I was." Buffy shook her head and continued "Look, I don�t know ok? Faith and I�we have a history and it�s complicated. I can�t explain it."

"You can�t or you won�t?" Riley asked firmly. There was a pause. Riley shook his head.

"I thought so. You know Buffy you�ve changed. I look at you and don�t even know you anymore. I mean, what�s with this bad girl image you�re trying to pull off�"

"*I�m* the one who�s changed? Look at you Mr. Love me-love me-love me. Every time I turn around and pay attention to some one else you think I�m totally ignoring you. Well excuse me if I have a life you can�t understand. Oh, and I�m so sorry my mom was in the hospital and almost *died*. I really wish I could have been there to make you feel secure about yourself while she was busy getting blood drawn and having a bunch of brain scans!"

"Cut it out Buffy, this isn�t about your mother. It�s about you and me"

"Or lack of" Buffy mumbled. Riley walked over to Buffy and took her by the arm.

"What�s wrong with you? This isn�t you. I know the real you�"

"No Riley, that� s the thing! You *never* knew who I really was. There�s only one person on this Goddamn earth who can say that she honestly knows and understands me, and means it!

"She." Riley said flatly.

"Get your hand off my arm or I�ll remove it for you." Buffy said, ignoring his subtle inquiry.

She stared hard into his eyes, and Riley felt as though she was looking straight through him. He curled his lip and shuddered for a moment trying to process the situation. Looking at Buffy now, maybe he hadn�t known the real her after all. He looked down at his hand that was tightly clasped around Buffy�s arm and let it go slowly. He looked back up and clenched his jaw before speaking.

"You�re right. I don�t know you�and right now I don�t want to."

"Get out." Buffy said harshly. Riley looked down at the pictures he had been gripping tightly and scoffed. He threw the Polaroid at Buffy�s chest and the blonde let it hit the floor while she continued to stare at him.

Suddenly both heard the door to the room open. They looked over and saw Faith step out from the frame. She came in hesitantly and looked at Buffy. The brunette breathed a sigh of relief when she didn�t find Buffy wrapped up in Riley�s arms asking for forgiveness.

"Everything ok in here?" She asked firmly, looking at Riley.

"Five by Five" Buffy said tapping her foot, raising her eyebrows to Riley in a gesture that meant she was already irritated that he wasn�t out of the house by now. The Beefstick looked at Buffy one last time and then shook his head at the floor.

"How can you let this go? After all we�ve been through and shared.." He glanced towards Faith and then took a few steps towards Buffy, lowering his voice considerably "After everything. You just want to throw it away?"

Buffy looked at him steadily before replying.

"You and I both know that this was going to happen. I�m just ending it sooner rather than later." Buffy smirked and then scoffed in his face. "Face it Riley, I threw you out long ago."

Riley blinked back the pain that was shooting threw him. He held his head up high and took in a long, steady breath while clenching his fists tight. He knew what she was saying was the truth; he knew he had lost Buffy�way before Faith had even entered the picture.

Buffy quirked an eyebrow and then turned to walk back over to Faith. She clasped her hand in the brunette�s, placing her other hand on her hip. Faith looked at Buffy with somewhat of a shocked expression. She had caught the remark Buffy had thrown Riley�s way and silently applauded the way in which the blonde was handling the situation. She also couldn�t help but internally glow at the notion that Buffy was finally hers�all hers. She smiled before confidently returning her gaze to ex-commando.

Riley stood there for a few moments before glancing around the room and finally turning to leave. He stopped in front of Faith and leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"I guess you got what you came back for. I hope you�ll be happy when you finally turn her into a murderous bitch like yourself."

That did it.

Faith broke her grasp from Buffy�s hand quickly and shoved Riley against the wall, knocking down some pictures and sending them crashing to the floor. She pulled out the knife she always kept tucked in the small of her back in less than a second and held it against his throat.

"She�s never gonna be like me!! But if you want a murderous bitch, how bout I you give a taste of it first hand?" She threatened in a hush tone, pressing the steal up against his throat while pinning him to the wall with her elbow.

Buffy just stood back and eyed the situation from afar. Riley looked into Faith�s eyes, fear leaking from his pupils. His heartbeat quickened and his body involuntarily stiffened. But the initiative in him wouldn�t let him melt completely in the face of the enemy, so he held his head up high, closing his mouth and swallowing hard.

So close�Faith was so close to just sliding the blade across his throat. She almost got off on the blatant fear behind Riley�s mask of bravery.

She remembered how good it had felt when she slid the blade into the Professor�s stomach a few months back�how intoxicated the scent of blood was for her. Faith craved the feeling of superiority, of sheer power over someone else�s life. She had become addicted to it. She so desperately wanted to slice the blade tight into Riley�s neck, wanting to feel his warm blood spill over her hands to satisfy the intense hunger she had built up long ago. She was like a heroine junky who wanted to shoot up one last time before promising themselves that they would go cold turkey right when the fix wore off. She wanted to feel that little resistance against flesh before the blade tore it�s way though tissue and muscle.

The brunette was breathing hard. She could almost smell the fear coming off of Riley and the scent made her insane. She stared Riley down hard�before blinking rapidly and shaking her head a bit. She couldn�t do it. Wouldn�t do it. If not for the sake of her soul, then for Buffy. She didn�t want the blonde to witness her animalistic nature first hand.

Then Faith remembered how hard she had worked to get onto the right track in life. She had reformed and promised herself it would never get that out of hand again, and she wasn�t about to break that promise over some heartbroken, military asshole. She lightened her grip on Riley and shook Buffy off of her. She stuck the knife back into her pants and leaned back into him.

"You know, animals can sense fear. Try to be a little more discreet next time" Faith taunted, patting Riley on the cheek. She turned away from him without another glance and looked Buffy in the eye. The brunette�s eyes lingered on her counterpart before lowering her gaze and crossing the room to sit on Buffy�s bed. She noticed the pictures from their time at the fair lying on the floor and picked them up, placing them carefully back on the blonde�s night stand.

Buffy looked over at Faith and smiled slightly. She then turned her head and met Riley�s gaze.

"Leave." Was all she said.

Without another word, Riley left the house and walked out of Buffy�s life forever.

The blonde sighed and went over to the bed, taking Faith by the hand. Despite what had just happened, she felt totally at peace with the brunette by her side. She smiled as she rested her head against Faith�s shoulder, and her younger counterpart wrapped an arm around her waist.

"You scared the shit out of him" Buffy said

"Meant to" Faith sad distractedly. The scent of fear coated in salty sweat still lingered in the air and she breathed it in hard.

"I know you wanted to kill him" Buffy stated. Faith didn�t answer, but the blonde felt her partner�s body shift under her head. Buffy paused for a long while before speaking again.

"You should have" she said simply, her expression serious and empty at the same time.

Faith twisted her head and looked at the top of Buffy�s own head rested on her shoulder. Needless to say, she was shocked.

"What?"

"You heard me" Buffy whispered

"You don�t mean that Buffy" Faith said, trying to convince herself that Buffy wasn�t changing before her eyes. The brunette noticed it ever since she met up with her partner again but denied what she saw. She denied the fact that when she looked at Buffy, all she saw was an early shadow of herself. But if Buffy ever got out of control, Faith told herself that she would be there to stop it. She wouldn�t let the girl she loved go through the pain she herself endured�the pain that Faith still fought every day.

Buffy�s lack of expression stared off into empty space for a moment, her eyes glassy and mouth lying carelessly limp. Her eyelids turned narrowed, forming a quick glare before she breathed in quickly and pulled her head back from Faith�s shoulder. She smiled and let her breath out.

"You�re right�I was just joking around" She said with a false laugh. There was a pause before Buffy spoke again. "Well at least now you know right?"

"Know what?" Faith said, narrowing her eyes in confusion.

"Know that I�m your girl." Buffy smirked.

Faith stared at her lover, trying to figure her out�trying to put all the pieces of the Summer puzzle together. But those last few words melted away every other thought. Buffy was Faith�s, that�s all that mattered.

She leaned forward and captured Buffy�s lips with her own and the two slayers shared a slow, deep and long kiss. Buffy began to push Faith back onto her bed, holding her lover close when the phone rang.

Both slayers rolled their eyes and broke the warm contact of their bodies. Buffy pushed herself off of the bed and cleared her throat before picking up the phone.

"Hello?" She said huskily.

"Buffy. This is Giles. I need to speak with you."

"Uh, Giles can it wait? I�m kinda doing some�"

"*Now* Buffy"

The petite knit her brow and nodded into the phone as if Giles could see her. She slowly put the receiver back onto the hook and tried to hold onto what little courage she had left when it came to her watcher. She took a deep breath and looked back at Faith. This was not going to be easy�

*****
Part 8: Denial

When she had gotten off the phone with Giles, Buffy mentally played out all the possible scenarios of the now inevitable "watcher/slayer" talk, and eventually came to the conclusion that she didn�t like any of them. She didn�t want to own up to the fact that she had gone too far with Xander, because deep down Buffy knew from the start that her actions, however justified, were not her true nature. But the last few days exploring her new-found attitude had been the best few days of her life. She was no longer worried, scared, burdened, or un-wanting of the duties that slayerhood often brought�she was just a girl learning to appreciate life.

After grabbing Faith�s hand and whizzing out the front door before her mother had a chance to find a "rogue" slayer in the house, Buffy contemplated whether to even go to Giles� at all. In fact, she had literally turned around and started walking back to her house, and would have ran right through her front door to forget about the entire situation had it not been for a certain brunette yanking her arm and turning her body back around.

"You can�t go runnin away from him B."

"Why not? I�ve got two legs and I plan to see how fast they can go."

Faith looked at her partner steadily. "Sooner or later he�s gonna catch up to you, and then the shit might really hit your fan, so why not just get it over with now?"

Buffy took her arm away from Faith�s grasp, turning her body away as well.

"Because I�m scared Faith. Giles is like a dad to me and the last thing I need is to get scolded for what probably sounded to him like a recess fight."

Faith looked at the back of Buffy�s head for a few moments before walking up to her and putting her hands on her girlfriend�s shoulders, rubbing the taught muscles firmly. Buffy let out a long breath, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to rest on Faith�s shoulder. She could feel the electricity of Faith�s touch pulsate through her entire body; hell she felt it every time the brunette even looked at her a certain way. Although the issue of sex had never been verbally addressed, both wanted and needed the unspoken connection more than anything else in their lives. Buffy had always been too hesitant to go all the way with Faith. Sure she had fooled around and gotten off once with her�but making love to her�REALLY making love to Faith scared her more than anything. Buffy was so afraid that maybe the brunette was just in it for the chase. She didn�t want to give herself completely until she was sure--sure of that exact moment when she knew that Faith loved her. And as it were, each day that went by became more difficult to be around the brunette slayer; the blonde could never help herself when Faith touched her�her warm hands caressing her body as the feeling of Faith�s soft lips pressed against her eager skin�

**Now�s not the time or place Buffy** the blonde thought, shaking her head slightly.

Faith gave Buffy a quick kiss on the neck before sliding her hands down the slayer�s body in order to wrap her arms around Buffy�s waist, bending her own body over a bit to rest her chin on her partner�s shoulder. In response, Buffy rested her hands on Faith�s arms.

"How do you even know that�s what he wants to talk about? You know, what if there�s some big bad in town and he just needs your help pronto?"

Buffy shook her head. "He knows about Xander, and I have a feeling he�s gonna call me on it. When I was back in there," Buffy continued, motioning in the direction of her house, "Playing the blaming game with Riley, he told me that Giles had talked to him about it."

Faith pulled her head back from Buffy�s shoulder and looked around exasperated. "So what B? What�s the worst that can happen? So he tells you o play nice and start actin like yourself again. It�s not like it�s the worst thing in the world if he tries to set you straight"

Buffy knit her brow and upturned her lip in a slightly irritated gesture. She pulled her body away from Faith�s hold and spun around, looking at her partner accusingly.

"What do you mean by �setting me straight?"

**Oh shit, did I say that?** Faith thought. She choose her next words carefully before answering.

"I uh�well it�s just that you haven�t been actin like yourself ever since I came back here. I mean c�mon B, admit it, when would you ever start wearin leather , clock Xander and steal your mom�s money?"

Buffy looked at Faith confused. "How did you know I took�"

Faith smirked. "It�s not like you have a high paying job, but some how you managed to come up with 80 bucks on the spot?"

Buffy shook her head and continued to argue.

"Whatever. The point is I haven�t changed all that much. Yeah, ok, so I changed my style a bit�and why are you sticking up for Xander? He deserved what he got, and if I wasn�t going to do it you sure as hell would have."

"I wasn�t sticking up for him!" Faith said, glaring a bit and clenching her fists, frustrated that Buffy wasn�t getting the true point at hand. She wanted so desperately to steer Buffy in the right direction, away from her own mistakes. But Faith was unfamiliar with the "helping-hand" territory, usually because she was the one being helped rather than helping. She smiled shortly before continuing.

"Look, Buffy. I�m not tryin to blame you here. All I�m sayin is that I don�t want to see you end up like me, ok? This �style� you got goin�it�s not worth it in the end. I don�t want to see you make the same mista�"

Buffy cut her off. "What�s with you Faith?" Since when did you become Miss Know-It-All?"

"Since I�ve been through it!" Faith yelled. She stepped closer to Buffy and lowered her voice a bit. "You don�t know what it�s like to cross over to the dark side and have it swallow you whole, and I won�t stand by while I watch you walk into its mouth!" She said. She then remembered Angel�s words to her and how they had managed to keep her grounded. She hoped his words would get through to Buffy.

"God Faith, you�re acting as if I�ve done something that�s automatically switched me to the black team. I mean it�s not like I�m gonna go start working for some psychotic demon-wannabe and then kill a few people on the way home!"

Faith flinched and just stood there, looking at her partner with disbelief. Buffy�s eyes widened and she let her mouth drop open slightly.

**Did I REALLY just say that?!**

Silence engulfed both the slayers as tormenting memories came flooding back to each mind. Buffy hated this. Here was their first real relationshippy fight, and she already knew how to bring about the heavy artillery.

Buffy reached for Faith�s hand. "Faith�I�m sorr�" Faith retracted her arm furiously, scoffing at the blonde.

"Don�t�ok? Look, you do whatever you want. Talk to Giles, don�t talk to Giles, whatever I don�t care. I�m gone" Faith said, her anger at the spoken memory mixing with the pain and suffering she endured because of it, getting the best of her.

Faith turned around without another glance and headed down the street in the opposite direction, leaving Buffy cursing at herself as she turned around and walked toward Giles house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I�m going to talk to her." Willow said suddenly, abandoning the word-search game she had been working on for the past hour.

The red-head sat upright on the bed, resting her back against the head board while scrunching her knees up to her body so she had a proper surface to scribble on. She had done nothing but think of Buffy the entire night; how she had struck Xander to the ground, how she had suddenly changed her whole attitude and started acting like Faith�how Faith was now back in town and seemingly all cozy with her best friend.

**What happened between them anyway?** Willow thought.

Tara made her way across their dorm room and sat at the base of the bed. She wrapped an arm around her lover�s legs while resting her chin on Willow�s knees.

"Do you think that�s wise? I-I thought Giles was going to do that." Tara said.

"Yeah�I know but I can�t help it. It�s like this unspoken, best friend rule or something. Besides, I�m really worried about her and I didn�t exactly help the situation by yelling at her." Willow said, furrowing her brow.

"Well she did seem way out of line, I mean from what you�ve told me about her and the whole Faith thing�it didn�t seem right."

"I just think she needs someone right now. She almost died and I�m just sitting here with a word search puzzle in my lap�one that I can�t even figure out!! A-and then, when she asked me to trust her, I scoffed in her face! Oh Tara, I�m a bad friend! A-a bad, bad person!" Willow said, beginning to babble. The red-head let her arms fall limp to the sides, pouting something awful.

Tara smiled and scooted closer to Willow. She slid the magazine off of her lap and took her gently by the shoulders, forcing her to look up into her own eyes.

"Hey, look at me. You�re not a bad person. In fact, you�re the sweetest person I know�and I kinda love you." Tara finished with a gentle laugh and shy smile.

Willow smiled with her and Tara continued.

"If you want to talk to her then you should. Maybe Giles can soften her up before you hit her with the big talk." Tara smiled. She grabbed Willow�s hand and gave it a nice, tight squeeze. Willow smiled again, and leaned in towards her girl to give her a soft, gentle kiss.

"Thanks. I�ll call her tomorrow. I don�t want to catch her right after the Giles talk�you know�just in case." Willow said. Tara nodded and scooted up to lye next to her red-headed girlfriend. The two witches smiled at each other before pulling the covers around them and turning off the light.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy opened the door to the Magic Shop hesitantly. She let herself inside, closing the door quietly behind her before stopping in the doorway to fidget with her hands. She looked around, and found Giles sitting at one of the tables cleaning his glasses. He didn�t say anything, but merely got up, put on his glasses, and made his way towards Buffy.

**Oh God, I can�t do this. Especially now. Faith�s out there pissed off at me while I�m stuck here talking with Giles? No way, I gotta get out of this and find Faith** Buffy thought>

"Uh look Giles, can we talk about this tomorrow? I really need to go."

Giles looked at her sternly.

"Sit down Buffy." He said, in an even sterner voice.

Buffy knew there was NO way she was getting out of this one. She pouted and crossed the room to the table, sitting down roughly in one of the chairs. Giles took a seat across from her and stared at her intently before finally speaking.

"Buffy I�m worried about you. Now I�m not here to cause blame, or threaten you in any way�I�m merely here to talk with you."

"Yeah join the club." Buffy mumbled.

"Look, I know that you are scared; not of me, not of the situation, but scared of loosing your own life. I can understand how the trauma of an event such as you suffered could be affecting you�but Buffy you have to understand that you can�t loose yourself because of it."

Buffy looked up and the look of indignation resumed her features.

"I�m not *loosing* anything. You know everyone around here has become totally crazy! Why does everyone think that I�m gonna go off the deep end?!"

"No one thinks that, we�re just worried that you are taking your life too far in the opposite extreme. Look at yourself Buffy. You have changed the way you dress,"

Buffy looked down at her dusty, dark red leather pants and black halter top.

"You�ve changed the way you act,"

Buffy thought about beating on Xander, her break up with Riley, her adventure with Spike.

"You�ve begun to change everything about you and it�s all because of this." Giles finished, reaching out slowly and touching the now visible scar on Buffy�s shoulder. The slayer turned her head and stared at her shoulder for what seemed like forever. The scene flashed before her eyes; the moment at which death said hello started to flood before her.

Buffy�s eyes began to brim with tears and she looked back at Giles.

"Don�t let the darkness control you Buffy, because if you do it will eventually consume you. You�ve seen what can happen when some one tries to shut off all emotion and what�s left is nothing but hatred."

A single tear fell from Buffy�s eye. She looked down at the table and the little puddle of her previous tear frowned back up at her. Her lips were slightly parted and her breath started to catch up with her.

**Faith. I�m turning into Faith�but is that such a bad thing? After all I love her�oh god she�s still out there alone. Why is he making me sit here and reflect while she�s out there by herself? They always do this, they always try to keep me from the ones that I love. Damn it�I-I have to go find her**

Buffy looked up at Giles again. She wiped the tear from her face and stood up, allowing the legs of the chair to scrape across the floor. Giles looked up at her, hope devouring his features.

"You don�t know what you�re talking about." Buffy said coldly. She grabbed her shoulder tightly. "*This* has nothing to do with anything. It�s just a battle wound, and I�ve forgotten about it�I have to go."

Giles stood up as well, the hope dissolving from his face completely.

"No, sit down." He said. He still had so much more to say. Buffy looked at him angrily and folded her arms across her chest.

"And that would be a �no�. I�m leaving. Thanks for this little chat and all, I mean it�s sweet that you care about me. But really Giles, I�m just dandy. Now, here�s where I take my cue and cross over to stage left, exiting the building." Buffy said. She unfolded her arms and began to walk away from Giles.

Giles jogged after her and crossed in front of her path.

"I�m not finished talking with you. I-I�m on your side here Buffy. Please�don�t do this."

"Did I ever ask for you to pick a side? No, I didn�t. *I�m* on my side�" Buffy looked off into the distance as she continued, "�and that�s enough."

She finished the words with a tone of revelation, finally understanding why Faith had said those same words to her long ago. She understood where her partner was coming from---and she didn�t mind. She came out of her daze and didn�t even look at Giles as she turned around.

"She�s not worth it Buffy!" Giles called after her. Buffy stopped in her tracks and just stood where she was. Giles continued, a tinge of anger lightly coating each word.

"I know Faith is back. I know you think you�ve resolved whatever issues you have had with her. But there is evil in that girl Buffy that not even ou can take away. She�s not worth the agony that your choice will bring upon you�let her go."

Buffy shifted her position slightly.

"I will not let her go Giles. That�s the only mistake I�ll be making if I don�t find her."

"You walk out that door now, Buffy, and I guarantee there will be no going back until it is too late. She�s not worth it." Giles pleaded in vain. He very well knew Buffy�s future course of action.

The slayer turned around and looked at Giles steadily.

"She is to me." Buffy said calmly. She continued to look at Giles for a few more moment before turning around and exiting stage left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Faith walked around the darkened park aimlessly. She was at the brink of tears for more reasons than she cared to count at the present moment. Buffy was changing, and Faith fully knew of the consequences the change would bring.

**I tried�didn�t I? I mean did I even come across to her at all? No of course you didn�t Faith. You took off because your sorry-ass attitude always manages to fuck up a situation.**

Faith sighed and sat down on a bench, looking up at the night sky.

**Please let Giles get through to her. I know I suck at the persuasion thing�but jeez let that British accent work it�s magic tonight. I need her to be ok---to be my Buffy again. Please�she�s the one person I�ve ever loved. Maybe I should go back, try to do it all over again but this time keep my fucking legs from leaving. I can help her�I can. Hell, I would die for her. Wait, I sound like a fucking hypocrite. After all I�ve said and done why would she take anything I have to say to heart?**

Faith shook her head, allowing a tear to spill from her swollen eye. She wiped at it angrily.

She continued to just stay on that bench, preparing the savior-speech she knew she wasn�t qualified to deliver.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy stalked the streets hastily.

"FAITH?" She called out.

**I am so stupid!! I just had to drive her away�AGAIN! You know you really know how to show a girl you love her don�t you?** Buffy silently yelled at herself.

"FAITH?" Buffy called out more frantically. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened. If some one were to pass by, he or she could have sworn an invisible force knocked the wind out of the petite blonde. The look of horror was evident on Buffy�s face.

**Did she leave me? Did she leave for good this time?! What if that was too much for her? Oh god, she can�t leave. I love her. She completes me. I-I�ve never loved anyone so much as I love her�but she doesn�t even know how I feel, so why would she stay? No�no no no she can�t be gone. I�ll find her---I�ll find her.**

"FAITH!!!" Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs, standing in place and whirling her body around frantically. She screamed the name again, only this time if it broke off into a sob. The blonde covered her face with her hands and let the tears flow.

After a few minutes of sobbing, she felt a presence behind her.

"Go. Away!" She demanded.

"Um�what�s wrong?"

Buffy looked up, her face streaked with black mascara. Spike stood there, black duster moving lightly with the breeze.

"Are you hard of hearing vampire? I said leave."

Spike looked around nervously and finally decided to advance toward Buffy.

"Are you looking for your slayer?" he asked.

"Gee, how�d you guess?" Buffy asked flatly. She sniffed and wiped the smeared makeup with the palms of her hands. Spike took a deep breath and continued.

"Do you want me to help?"

Buffy didn�t answer him. She turned away and started walking off.

"Look, I know now�s not the best time to be doing this, but I can�t keep it in much longer." Spike called after her. He took in a deep breath and huffed out his next words. "I love you." He shouted.

Buffy turned around angrily and shot him a look. "You�re right, now�s REALLY not the time you should be doing this!" Spike jogged up to her and persisted.

"I know, I know you�re looking for your honey but I have to say it. I love you�and I think you feel for me too."

Buffy looked at him for awhile before erupting with laughter.

"*Feel* for you?! The only thing I feel for you is the urge to vomit. Get away from me Spike."

The bleached blonde vampire didn�t seemed phased as he went on. "You do feel for me damn it. I know it. Me and you have a connection, you know it�s there slayer. How could you deny anything? Especially after what we shared"

"What we shared was skin, that was it. I don�t love you Spike, I don�t feel for you�I don�t even think about you. Get it through your head that you and me will NEVER happen. I love Faith, ok? I *love* her, and not you, or Giles, or Xander, or *anyone* is going to keep me from her."

"Then, w-what were you doing with me last night?"

Buffy smiled and walked up to him so their faces were inches apart. She looked him straight in the eye. "You�re a toy Spike, a toy I like to play with. I played you last night, but unfortunately for you, I�m board now. I�ve said it once, and I�ll say it again: you�re beneath me Spike. Now please�get out of my life!"

Buffy clenched her jaw before retreating in the other direction. Spike just stood there.

**Bloody hell, you�re not going to cry again. You�re a freagin vampire�not again** Spike thought as he began to sob lightly. As before, his features grew dark and serious. He had been pushed too far this time, and there was no way he was going to let Buffy get away with it. He stared after her before growling.

"You�ve played me for the last time slayer. I couldn�t do it before, but I *will* do it this time. You�re bloody life is in my hands!"

With absolute intent, Spike spun on the heal of his boot and headed back to his crypt to retrieve the rusty gun he had been too scared to use on the slayer�until now.

*****
tbc