*****

Xander stretched his arms overhead as he slowly woke up. His back arched and a decidedly feline growl sounded as he rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyes. He propped himself up on his elbows, blinking in confusion about where he was before his memories came crashing back to him: the fight with the demons, Wesley, Spike and his punishment.

Oh god, his punishment! Xander�s unbeating heart dropped in his chest and he leapt from the bed, heading for the door before he realized he wasn�t allowed to leave. Xander started to pace back and forth, nervously chewing at his bottom lip as he tried to calm down. His hands racked through his hair as his breathing evened out.

Logically, he knew that his punishment was something that must be done. Spike�s demon would be satisfied with nothing less than retribution for Xander�s crimes against him and Angel wouldn�t allow anything less either.

His demon recognized the large breach in trust his actions had caused but his soul was still confused. He had saved Wesley. That�s what he was supposed to do, right? At least, his human half had thought he was saving Wesley. His demon and soul warred against each other over this matter. It was all so confusing when his demon shouted out transgressions at his actions while his soul shouted out that he had only done the right thing.

Xander dropped down onto the bed, his head falling into his hands. He needed to figure out what he was going to do. He couldn�t run. He didn�t want to run. Accepting his punishment was the one thing that both his demon and soul agreed on. The manner of his punishment was what had him in a bind.

Angel had never been overly harsh when dealing out his punishments. His disobediences were few and far between and never enough to warrant a severe reprimand.

This was different. His actions had directly resulted in the unfounded discipline of Sire to Childe. Spike had suffered greatly because of him and he knew that he would get what he deserved.

That knowledge did little to ease his fears.

He was angry with himself as well. Things had been going so well. Spike was becoming an important person to him. They had bonded over his training and the small tortures they shared against their Sire. And while still wary of each other, they had become friends. Xander had even had hopes for a more complete family, given time.

But now, he didn�t know if that would ever come to pass. Even with his punishment would Spike still forgive him? Could they go back to how they had been? And more importantly would his mate ever forgive him?

Tears of frustration welled up in his eyes before Xander willed them away. He would *not* cry over this. This was his fault and he would just have to grin and bear it.

He waited, jumping at every noise; it wasn�t long before his doubts and fears started to creep up on him again.

Would it be a beating? Would he be chained? Would he be whipped? Xander�s breathing started to accelerate as more vivid images flooded his mind. He had read the Watcher�s diaries and the chilling accounts of William the Bloody�s exploits came to the forefront of his mind. His demon happily supplied images of his torture.

Sighing, he realized he wasn�t going to know until it happened. Xander settled in for a long wait.

*****

"Sire, I know Xander needs to be punished, but bleedin' hell, what you're proposing is..." Spike stopped at the low growl from Angel.

Spike was questioning his orders? But then he realized that of course Spike was arguing. The blonde vampire hadn't lived with Angel for nearly one hundred years and even in the past as they defiled Europe together, Spike had always been the one to defy him. Why did he assume things would be different now?

"Xander needs to learn his place.� Angel said softly, the back of his hand brushing down the side of Spike's face. �His actions almost cost me your life, childe. I cannot so easily forgive that."

Spike�s eyes softened as he nodded in understanding. Xander�s offence was close to unforgivable, a serious breach in lore and trust.

Seeing his Childe�s understanding, Angel continued.

�I've considered Xander's punishment and leniency is not the way to go. Xander�s demon is not stubborn, in fact it follows me willingly and I�ve only had to punish him moderately. However, unlike his demon, Xander�s soul fights my dominance. Xander loves me, yet he has a hard time obeying me. He must learn that I am in control.� Angel�s eyes gave off a hard glint and his hands clenched. He loved Xander with everything he was but this break in trust hurt.

It was time to prove to Xander once and for all that he was Angel�s Childe first and his mate second. Angel hoped that Xander learned this lesson. He feared the consequences if he did not.

�Sire, I understand but will he? After all, he thought he was saving Wesley from me. Won�t he be confused?� Spike stated. He knew the reasons behind the punishment; he just wanted to make sure that Xander understood them as well.

�Yes, that is a problem. It was his soul.� Angel sat down in a nearby chair. �His soul will insist that he did nothing wrong. Merely saving an innocent from a monster.� Seeing the brief flash of pain in Spike�s eyes Angel gave a brief smile. �I know Spike. But it�s true. Xander is a souled vampire and his soul dominates his demon. But he is a demon, Spike, and he must abide by our rules and the lore must come first.�

They sat in silence for a time before Angel stood up. It was time. The anger Angel felt towards Xander hung heavy in the air and Spike was glad that he would have the chance to be with Xander before Angel got a hold of him. Perhaps, he could give the young vampire some confidence before hand. Spike snorted to himself. Not likely, what he was about to do to Xander was punishment. Xander would learn his lesson. He had to.

*****

Xander jumped when he heard the soft footsteps heading towards him. He quickly ran in front of the door and assumed the proper position. Kneeling, knees spread, with his hands placed on his thighs and his head bowed. He tensed when the door opened and then shut seeing a pair of scuffed Doc�s in front of him.

Spike gazed down at his younger brother, feeling pride sweep through him at the sight. Xander had come a long way from the goofy and insecure boy he had known in Sunnydale. He was more confident now, strong, not only in body but in mind as well. Although Xander still had a long way to go before he became the vampire he could be, Spike was happy to note that he was well on his way.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Spike stood over Xander letting the silence drag on. He knew that one of the first and best forms of torture was anticipation and by night�s end he fully intended to have Xander skating on the edge of madness.

Spike smirked when Xander�s breathing started to become quicker. The boy still relied on that very human reaction. He thought back the days when he was still a new vampire. It had taken him more than 10 years to break himself of that habit.

�Stand and strip. Don�t speak.� Spike ordered. The command resounded in the room, causing Xander to jump. The younger vampire paused, confused at this turn of events. Why would Spike need him to strip? What was going to happen?

Xander�s hesitation lasted only a moment but it was enough to earn him his first reprimand.

Snarling, Spike grabbed a fist full of Xander�s hair and yanked his head back. �Move!� He whispered harshly. Xander winced under the harsh grip and scowled before quickly beginning to undo his buttons. It didn�t matter why Spike wanted him naked. He just had see this through and maybe everything would be all right again.

Spike released Xander�s hair and stepped back, watching as Xander methodically removed his clothes. Spike could feel the waves of confusion and fright pouring off Xander and he took a moment to revel in it.

When Xander was nude, he kneeled back onto the floor, clenching his fist on his thighs and fighting not to look at Spike. The older vampire walked over to a set of cabinets against one of the far walls. Opening one of the doors he gazed at a collection of toys. Whips, chains, dildos, scarves, collars and several other implements of sexual play were all displayed neatly. He grinned as his eyes lighted on a few old favorites. You didn�t see some of those in a human�s collection. Sometimes it was good to be a vampire.

Casting a look over his shoulder at the waiting boy, he quickly picked up a set of chains and a cock ring. It was best to start off light and then build up. He set the chains on the bed, continuing to ignore Xander, and quickly folded the covers down, leaving only a thin sheet on the mattress. Nodding in satisfaction he returned to the cabinets, opening a few drawers.

The sight alone would be enough to make anyone squirm and Spike fully intended for Xander to get an eyeful.

�Lie on the bed, face down, spread eagled.� Spike said. He watched as Xander quickly turned around and almost ran to the bed. He had to bite back a bark of laughter as Xander came to an abrupt halt, spotting the open cabinets. Forcing a scowl onto his face, Spike grabbed the back of the younger vampire�s neck and tossed him onto the bed.

Xander lay there in a stunned sprawl, staring at the toys. Spike growled low in his throat. It was enough to break Xander�s shock and he turned a fear filled look to Spike.

�Wha�� Xander barely got that half syllable out before Spike lunged at him. Clutching up a handful of hair he yanked Xander�s head back and sank his teeth into his neck. Although the bite wasn�t as painful as the one Angel could bestow, it was painful enough. Xander cried out in surprise and unconsciously moved to force Spike away. The older vampire was stronger however and after a few moments of struggle, Xander went limp as the pain coursed through him.

Removing his fangs Spike spoke.

�You really need to learn to listen better, pup.� Spike snarled at Xander�s prone form. �When I tell you to do something you do it!� Xander nodded his head frantically and Spike stepped back. Watching Xander for a moment, he leaned over and picked up the cock ring and was almost knocked over as Xander bolted.

Spike had a cock ring. A cock ring! Xander�s body slammed into the door as he frantically tried to escape.

The only man he�d ever had sex with was his Sire and Mate and, punishment or not, he�d fight Spike to dust before he�d betray Angel�s trust that way. When Angel had made it clear there would be no sharing of themselves with other partners, Xander had happily agreed.

In a blink Spike was behind him and strong arms circled his chest. The older vampire let out a furious growl as Xander started to kick and writhe. He had just managed to get a good hold of Xander when the younger vampire started screaming.

Cursing under his breath he manhandled Xander to the floor just as the door burst open.

�What the hell is going on?� Angel roared, taking in the scene before him.

�Sire! Ouch! Stop Spike! Angel, Spike had a cock ring! He can�t do that! No sharing, you said it yourself!� Xander exclaimed indignantly. He cringed when Spike shifted to game face and snarled at him.

�Childe!� Angel snapped sharply. Both Spike and Xander stopped their struggles. Angel peered down at them, anger and lust filling his dark gaze in equal measure. Xander�s naked form, drenched in the scents of fear, confusion and anger acted as an aphrodisiac to him. He had to quell the impulse to take Xander right then and there. Angel�s eyes flickered to Spike then back to Xander. �You are not to resist. This is your punishment and you will accept it,� Angel�s eyes narrowed cruelly, �all of it.�

Xander�s incredulous eyes met Angel�s cold stare. Xander had never been so confused. His lover, his mate was going to let Spike have sex with him?

�But�but he wasn�t going to punish me, he was going to take me, fuck me. I don�t want to do that. I won�t. We don�t share!�

Xander howled indignantly when Spike yanked on his hair, pulling his head back and baring his neck. Angel leaned down into Xander�s face; his eyes flashed yellow before he spoke.

�What you do and do not want is of no consequence. You will obey Spike while he is punishing you in all things! Is that clear?� Angel stated, his voice brooking no argument. He watched as Xander�s eyes got wider.

�But�but��

Angel shifted to game face and leaned over Xander. �Is. That. Clear?� Xander wanted to argue, to protest his treatment. How could Angel allow this? Xander didn�t see any compassion or love for him in Angel�s gaze. His Sire�s eyes were cold and Angel let nothing show through to let Xander know that, in the end, this would be all right. Xander bit back a sob, nodding his head to Angel. Satisfied, his Sire stood up and motioned to Spike, who released his grip on the younger vampire. Xander slumped to the floor his eyes fixated on the cock ring. On what Spike planned to do to him. On what Angel planned to let Spike do to him. If he�d still been human, Xander would have retched. As it was his demon howled in anger but his soul, his soul felt shattered.

�Thank you Sire.�

�Be sure he doesn�t do this again. I would *hate* to make another trip into this room before the punishment has been dealt.� Angel spoke his eyes shooting daggers at Xander. He felt a momentary pang of sadness at the fear in Xander�s eyes before his gaze rested on Spike. The emotion fled when he once again remembered what he could have lost. With one final warning growl he left the room and closed the door.

Xander�s eyes fell shut at the sound of the door thudding in its frame. Angel had abandoned him here. Didn�t he want him anymore? Did Angel hate him so much that he didn�t want to be with him now?

Xander�s gut crawled with a thousand ants at that thought and he nearly launched himself at the door again. He knew though, that if he hadn�t already lost Angel, that act would seal his fate. Xander had to bite back a sob at that thought. He couldn�t have lost Angel. He didn�t know what he�d do if he had. The pain cutting through him was enough that he didn�t even acknowledge Spike�s presence. He felt himself being led to the bed and laid down. He barely recognized the feel of chains wrapping around his wrists and ankles. He faded back and forth, lost in his troubling thoughts.

*****

Spike made sure Xander was secured firmly to the bed, then picked up the cock ring that had fallen on the floor. He looked at the small bit of leather and frowned in confusion. Whatever reaction he had been expecting out of Xander at the sight of the cock ring, bolting for the door had not been one of them. The look of terror on the boy�s face was almost comic in its intensity.

And now, Xander looked lost. Spike could swear he saw tears forming in Xander�s eyes but pushed the thought away. Xander was just in shock over not being able to get out of his punishment.

But shock or not, Spike wanted him aware of what was happening so with a smirk on his face he sat on the bed and reached for Xander�s cock.

Xander jumped when he felt a hand on his cock. He managed to focus his eyes on the vampire leaning above him. Spike had an evil smirk on his face and when he looked down the length of his body, he could see Spike�s hand curled around his soft shaft.

Xander bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the intimacy of Spike�s touch on his body. Angel had commanded that he obey. Xander couldn�t help the low whimpering that tore his throat as Spike began stroking his limp cock. He was Angel�s and this wasn�t Angel. Spike�s fingers were smaller, longer and leaner. Spike smelled different. Spike didn�t love him. Xander�s mind raced with the confusion of all that was happening. Angel had said he wasn�t going to share him with anyone. His body was for Angel�s pleasure and his alone, yet Angel had commanded him to allow Spike this access. Xander�s soul cried out for his lover; he didn�t understand why this was happening, a beating yes, this no. A small sound from Spike startled him and Xander�s eyes flew open. Spike was studying him strangely before the usual smirking mask fell into place.

Spike squeezed his penis and Xander whined. He tried to shuffle away from the groping hand but was brought up short by the chains. The bite of metal links into his flesh snapped him out of the mental prison he�d been bound in. He arched away from Spike, a keening wail ripped from his throat.

Oh god! No! This couldn�t be happening. There was no way he could do this. Punishment or not, he would lose Angel for sure if this happened. He struggled to break the chains but they had been made especially to restrain someone with superior strength. The chains cut into his flesh as he struggled and blood soon slicked his wrists and ankles, dripping onto the thin sheet beneath him. He snarled when Spike gripped his cock tighter and started stroking.

Cursing, he bucked his body, trying to throw Spike off of him. Spike merely smirked and started stroking harder. Xander writhed in shame when he began to grow hard.

He fought back helpless tears as his body betrayed him. He heaved against Spike�s touch one last time before falling limply into the bed, too tired and confused to fight the building sensations. Spike gave a crow of triumph just before he felt a hard pressure at the base of his cock.

Xander looked down at his own body. He was hard, his erection collared at the base by that loathsome black leather, which he only now realized contained sharp metal teeth. The studs cut into him and he could feel the slow drip of blood tickling over his scrotum.

�All for me pretty boy?� Spike asked, trailing a cool finger from the base Xander�s hard-on to the weeping tip. Shocked eyes flew to Spike�s and Xander watched in horror as he drew the blood tinted finger into his mouth, sucking vigorously. Xander finally broke then, crying when he realized that Angel was never going to forgive him. Permission or not, there was no way his mate was going to forgive him for having lain with another. Of all his earlier imaginings, Xander had never thought his actions would cost him Angel.

Spike watched as Xander wept. He felt a brief pang of pity before sitting back and enjoying the smells of frustration and sorrow wafting from the bound vampire on the bed. He waited until Xander started to calm down. The boy looked so beautiful right now. Bound and hard, tears coursing down his cheeks and sweat covering his body from his thrashing. The scent of fear filled blood wafting in the room.

Nodding in satisfaction at the sight, Spike stood and made his way over to the cabinets.

�Why are you being punished?� He asked, picking up a small riding crop from one of the drawers. Silence greeted his question and he stalked back to the bed, a low growl rumbled from his throat.

�Because�.because I almost got you�dusted.� Xander whispered, his eyes settled dully on the whip in Spike�s hand. He�d prefer Spike strip the skin from his bones than fuck him but, apparently, that wasn�t an available option. Knowing his luck, Spike would do both. He flinched when the crop was raised only to relax slightly when Spike merely placed it in both hands and started stroking it.

�That�s right. You also know that whatever happens in this room is your punishment for that crime.� Xander nodded his head and continued to stare at the small torture device.

Scowling, Spike abruptly let the whip fly. A sharp, snapping sound was heard a fraction of a second before it made contact with flesh. Xander screamed in surprise as a small welt started to form on his chest. A moment later the pain hit and Xander�s sucked in an unneeded breath.

The pain of the strike seared Xander�s soul. The sting of that first hurt had barely registered before Spike hit him again and again. Xander screamed out his loss at each snap of Spike�s crop against his flesh: Angel, his lover and mate, his life was gone from him. It felt as if Spike was wiping away Angel�s claim with each strike of the leather against his flesh. Each new welt became a brand declaring that he was nothing more to Angel than a recalcitrant Childe and one no longer worthy of his love.

So Xander screamed, railing against his bonds, arching into the pain as his demon raged at the loss of its mate and his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Never again would hear Angel whisper in his ear as they made love. Lost to him forever was the feeling of his mate�s lips pressed against his or his big, strong arms holding him close.

Xander wailed in despair.

*****
tbc