Xander settled into his seat with a relieved sigh and leaned his head back. He was tired, tense, nervous and completely confused. When he had seized up in the sewers a few hours before he had.....faded. That was the best way he could describe it. One minute he was surrounded by darkness, nose clogged with the sent of decay, and the next he was slipping away. He could feel himself spiraling downwards until he suddenly was surrounded by light. Intense light that should have blinded him but instead only shocked his mind with the totallity of it. He had been frightened at first but then a wave of acceptance, peace, love, and harmony had swept thru him and he had *bathed* in it. He snorted now at his choice of words. No words could possibly describe how he had felt.

He didn't know how long he was there, so lost in the sensations was he. It could have been hours, days, months, years and he wouldn't have cared. But eventually the feelings faded to a pleasant hum in the back of his mind. At first he felt bereft, willing to beg and grovel for the emotions to return until he saw the color. It was faint at first but definitely there in this world of aching white. As he stared at it, the shape drifted closer and closer, until he could make out it was a person. For some reason he felt no fear, no trepidation. This person was.....something, he could find no words.

As he turned this over in his mind the person drifted closer still until a face was seen and Xander froze. He was dead. He *knew* it and for some reason felt no fear, only....relief. It was over and maybe now he could find the peace he had been longing for. For standing before him was the one person in all the world that he had loved beyond anything. Anya. And as the name drifted thru his mind, he felt the sharp stabbing pain of loss that had almost destroyed him at her death until it was swept away by the tide of the other feelings.

A gentle laugh teased him out of his thoughts and he gazed at the beloved face before him.

"You aren't dead, Xander. I promise." Whisper-sighed from a mouth he had kissed reverently for years. Dark golden curls spilled around the perfect face and Xander *longed* to reach out, stroke, pet, anything as long as he got to *touch*. But the words registered in his mind and drew him out of his contemplation.

"I'm not?"

"No." Said with a sad smile as if she was regretting that small fact.

"Then what?" he asked, confusion marring his brow.

"I used to love that you know. How your face shows everything you feel. Like an open book." She reached out a hand stopping short of touching and Xander leaned forward, begging silently for just one caress. Anya saw this and slowly withdrew her hand, open pain showing thru before peace returned to her face. "You�re here because you are needed. Darkness comes and the Light has chosen you to be her visionary."

"The light? What darkness?" Worried now and the walls of this silent place grew darker, previously unseen shadows appearing in corners, and Anya's face clouded.

"There is much to tell. Too much and so little time." Suddenly they were in another place. Light shone down onto a garden. It was beautiful and for a moment he caught his breath as his mind tried to absorb the perfection laid out before him. He blinked when he realized Anya had moved forward, making her way down a stone path towards a tall fountain. He hurried after her, desperate to spend as much time as possible in her presence, because he knew now this would soon end.

As they made their way along the path, they remained silent as the new world around them chirped and hummed with unseen life. As they approached the fountain he saw two new figures standing next to it. Like with Anya they were faint at first before faces took shape and Xander broke. Tears streamed down his face, his heart shattered and was reformed a thousand times. His body shook and the sun shining down on the garden clouded over, as if it shared his grief. He didn't realize he had fallen to the ground until he felt the rough stone chaffing his skin sometime later.

When he finally gathered himself together he looked up into the faces surrounding him. Oh god, they were so beautiful. So *there* and Xander stood, fully intending to touch no matter what before he was stopped by them stepping away. He wasn't allowed to touch, to feel them, not here and not now. He knew that but didn't care and he stepped forward again only to have them withdraw further.

"No Xander. Please don't." Anya spoke.

"Why?" The word torn from him, voice rough from his tears and the pleading in his eyes would have broken any other beings but these.

"Because only the dead may touch us, otherwise you would lose yourself in us and be lost. You are needed." Said a new voice, a long missed voice, and he shuddered with the memory of the scream that had been ripped from that throat as it called to him the last time it was heard. Cordelia stood there, more beautiful than he had ever seen her, a soft light in her eyes muted only by the sadness he saw there.

"It's alright Xander. I promise." The last voice spoke and he turned his gaze upon his beloved Buffy, for whom he had risked his life on so many occasions and still would even beyond death. Looking into her eyes, he calmed. If he couldn't touch he could at least see and feel. He made himself believe that would be enough, choking back the vile taste of the lie.

"A darkness is coming." Anya spoke now and he tried to focus. "You are needed as well as others. You must be shown what to do. Over time you will visit this place often and receive more information but for now sit and touch the water."

Confused, he did as bidden and sat on the lip of the fountain. He gazed once more at the beloved faces before him before dipping his hand into the cool water. Immediately images bombarded him. Swept him away and he screamed in silent horror at the sights before him. Blood, death, battles, terror and destruction. It clouded his mind and then became everything he was. Again, he lost track of time and was startled when the garden was in front of him once again.

Shaking and wanting to find a nice safe place to empty his stomach, he withdrew his hand from the now black and putrid water and wiped it absently on his pants.

"Wha..." He cleared his throat and tried again. "What was that? Oh god, what was it?" He was frantic now. Terror causing his throat to constrict and he just knew he wasn't going to like the answer.

"A taste of things to come." Buffy spoke, stepping closer and sitting next to him. "The Betrayer is nearly free and the time has come for the warriors to gather. You must guide them."

"Me? Why me? Please, tell me!" He was so confused and lost. Nothing made sense.

"Because it is the way things are." Anya bit her lip and it was so familiar his heart ached. She always did that when trying to figure something out. He smiled at the memory before he focused as she began to speak again. "It's hard to explain, not even we know everything. Only this, you have to go and you have to guide them. They will be lost without you."

"They?"

"The warriors, the chosen of the Light. They are gathering now and preparing but are still....lost." Cordelia spoke, the expression on her face showing her frustration at not being able to find the right words.

"Come Xander." Buffy spoke and she stood before following Anya and Cordelia down a different path. "We cannot tell you all you need to know. We haven't the power or the knowledge but there is something that can." Down the path they strode before reaching another fountain, equally as beautiful as the first, the clear water reflecting the sky overhead.

"Sit and place your hand in the water." Anya said. He hesitated, he didn't want to see things anymore and he didn't think he could handle another session so soon, but at the earnest look on the three women's faces he finally complied. Steeling himself he plunged his hand into the water and was buffeted by *knowledge*. It was a whirlwind surrounding him, crashing into every corner of his mind until there was nothing left of himself. On and on it went, information pouring through him and he blinked again to see the fountain empty, bone dry, and the garden firmly in place again.

His head swam as the knowledge formed in his mind and plunged deep, letting him back into his own mind. "Wow." And he laughed with the simplicity of that statement. Then a picture formed in his mind. Willow, lying in a hospital bed, surrounded by two children and nurses. He felt dread as a dark, creeping thing could be felt drawing closer to her. He looked up in a panic.

"You must go to her. The information you were given will sort itself out in time but for now, Willow needs you." Buffy said, an answering fear reflected in her eyes. He nodded and stood, knowing their time was at an end and still needing to be with them regardless.

"Be safe Xander. We will see each other again." Anya spoke, as the three of them began to retreat.

"I love you." He whispered to the now empty air before he was violently shoved back into his body.

Which is why he found himself on a plane to Washington, somehow knowing that it is where he would find Willow. Though seated alone he was accompanied by an extremely unhappy vampire inside a large crate in the cargo hold. He allowed himself a brief smile as he remembered the argument *that* had caused. Xander had felt no worry about whether or not the vampire would join him. He just knew that Spike was important somehow and that he was bound just as tightly as Xander. Now it was only a matter of finding that little piece of information in the whirlwind of his mind that explained why. He let that worry drift away and began to focus on his mission. So much of the knowledge he was given was buried but more than enough had bubbled to the surface in his mind presenting him a long list of things he had to do.

But first he had to get to Willow, because there was something coming for her and this time it was up to him to stop it.

*****
tbc