*****

I lie here, in Angel's bed. It's daytime, so he's asleep, therefore I could leave, but for some reason I'm not. Instead, I lie next to possibly the sexiest man I have ever met and think. From somewhere in the house, I can here a song being played on repeat. Probably Someone in one of the other apartments. Perhaps I should go and ask them to turn it down, but, if I do, I risk waking Angel. So, instead I try to focus in on the song the third time it plays.

This place is HELL to me and I can NEVER get no SLEEP
There's a DEVIL in my BED with me who's TALK is CHEAP
You feel like HEAVEN to me all I want to do is SLEEP
You're like an ANGEL lyin' next to me you look so SWEET

Hmm. How accurate. I hate the mansion; it holds so many bad memories for me. I don't sleep here, Angel makes sure of that, and when I do get the opportunity to drowse away I can't for fear of what I might shout out. I can't see my teachers or my parents being too pleased about me shouting out the name of my vampire lover. He is a Devil, His talk is Cheap. He whispers sweet nothings to me, tells me we'll be together forever, he'll never leave me, that I mean more to him than she does, but I don't believe a word of it. But when he kisses me, I could almost believe him, he is heaven to me. Strange how a demon can take me to heaven and back just by seeing him. But when he kisses me, when he touches me.well there are no words to describe him then. I want to sleep, need to sleep, but I can only do that with you, only you.

Close your eyes
And lets pretend
Remember why
We're just friends

We are just friends, we should be just friends. That's all we were ever meant to be. Angel is not mine. Never will be. But just for a while close you eyes, pretend. Pretend that he loves you like he loved her. His heart belongs to her. Remember that.

My TANGLED HAIR will weave a WEB OF LIES within my SHEETS
And in the MORNING I'll be NAILED where he CRUCIFIED ME
Your BLACKENED HAIR will leave a STAIN inside my MIND SO DEEP
And when TOMORROW comes I'll WISH that you would WORSHIP ME

Web of lies.I will have to spin a web of lies to protect her. She can't know. I can never forget. I can never have your heart, though I'll wish that when you make me go, that I could be the one that you loved.

CLOSE YOUR EYES
And let's pretend
REMEMBER WHY
We're just friends

Remember the lies. We are 'just friends', always have been, always will be. Remember me when you think of her. That's why I won't be here every time you wake up. One day She'll die, and you'll die with her, and then where will I be? After today, this can never happen again.

There must be a STORM IN LONDON tonight
Because it's COLD and RAINING hard
My BODY ACHES, my LOVER WAITS, I PICK THE SCABS FROM MY ARMS
There must be a STORM IN LA tonight
Because it's COLD and RAINING hard
I miss YOUR KISS. I miss YOUR FACE, I MISS THE STARS OF YOUR ARMS
The man that I LUST
In HE do I TRUST
For HE IS MY GOD
MY ANTI JESUS
HE IS MY SAVIOR
MY SALVATION
HE leads ME into TEMPTATION
In my HIGHEST HOUR
My LOWEST MOMENT
HE IS MY TORTURE
HE IS MY TORMENT
And I will PRAY FOR HIM
TO REMAIN MY FRIEND
And SAVE ME FROM MY ENEMIES... FOREVER AMEN

I do pray for you to remain with me Angel. You say that whenever Buffy is mentioned, you hurt. So do I. Every time she is mentioned, I think of you and her together and it kills me. You are my torture, you are my torment. I only hope that after this is over and you return to her, you will remain my friend. I cannot be without you in my life in some way. I want you angel. But if you won't be my lover, you can be my friend.

This place is HELL to me and I can NEVER get no SLEEP
There's a DEVIL in my BED with me who's TALK IS...CHEAP

~ end ~