From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/22/01 11:48 PM Pacific Standard Time (Monday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Luv,
You just Emailed everyone and God, I reckon. Got ya covered, though. No
worries. You effed up. I fix it. Same shit as always.
Love,
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/22/01 11:52 PM Pacific Standard Time (Monday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
No! No...Spike...It's not possible. I didn't do something that stupid,
did I? Obviously I did Wait - What do you mean, you'll fix it. I have
to talk to her! Don't do anything!
Love,
Angel
From: [email protected]
To: Reply All Address Book: [email protected] (Buffy), [email protected]
(Willow & Tara), [email protected] (Xander), [email protected] (Anya),
[email protected] (Rupert), [email protected] (Dawn),
[email protected] (Cordy), [email protected] (Gunn), [email protected]
(Oz), [email protected] (Wesley), [email protected] (Kate),
[email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:01 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Tossers,
HA BLOODY HA! GOT ANGEL'S PASSWORD... HEH.. HOW YA LIKE THAT?!
Love, Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:07 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Will....thank you.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:07 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Love you, poofter.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] (Willow & Tara), [email protected] (Xander),
[email protected] (Anya), [email protected] (Rupert),
[email protected] (Dawn), [email protected] (Cordy),
[email protected] (Gunn), [email protected] (Oz), [email protected]
(Wesley), [email protected] (Kate), [email protected],
[email protected] (William)
Date: 1/23/01 12:12 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Uhm - I don't even want to know what's going through your sick mind, Spike.
Very funny. I'm sure everyone's getting a good laugh right now.
Somebody please get this blood-rat off the internet.
Buffy~
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:14 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Spike,
Thank you.
Love,
Buffy
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:22 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Uh, Spike...My official response is: that was evil and incredibly rotten...even
for you. Unofficially: That was pretty cool, and nice of you.
Don't tell anyone I said so, but -
Your pal,
Xander
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:28 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
Pillow Biter,
Ha! I'm a bad rude man. Just like the name says.
Love,
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: From Willow.about your email
Spike...you know at first I was really really mad at you. And then I thought for
a while about what I could do to you. And then I realized that you didn't even
know how to send an email a few days ago (no offense), so what you said you did,
you didn't do. But what you did do, so no one knew what Angel really did, was a
really sweet thing to do. People (Buffy) are going to be really upset with you. But
I understand, and I think it was really really nice..in an evil demony kind of way.
Brownies will be in the oven in 10 minutes. Tara and I will bring them by tomorrow.
Love,
Willow
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:18 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: From Willow.about your email
Red,
Someone's gotta take it in the shorts... Might as well be me.
Love,
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:24 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: From Willow.about your email
Don't worry, I won't let anyone know you're a big old softie, marshmallow-centered
demon. Your secret is safe with me. Unless I need a favor. Just kidding!
Love, Willow
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:28 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: From Willow.about your email
Red,
Does it involve you in leather? Cause I reckon we could work something out.
Love,
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:00 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Your vile email attempt at humour
You are the crudest creature! Something you are no doubt aware of...but I felt it
needed saying. I hope your computer is infected by a Xlothlar virus.
Wesley Windham-Pryce
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:07 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: My amazing wit
Ex-Watcher who always gets sacked, You know you want me.
Love,
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:10 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Fwd: My amazing wit
Mr. Giles,
Do you think perhaps you could keep your pet vampire in hand a bit better? This
Sincerely,
Wesley Windham-Pryce
Don't be such a prude, Wesley. We both went to public school. As for the Council -
I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused you, and I do hope you will
Regards,
RPG
Buffy, I know you know we all saw the...emails. Please don't be too upset, you
Love,
Willow
Hey Wills, I think I could use an ice cream fix right now. Maybe a gallon or
Love, Buff
Hi Spike, we added chocolate chips to the brownies and there will be fudge
Tara
Ya got a nice rack. Wanna shag?
Love,
Me
P.S. You witchypoohs don't tell a soul... ya got me?
Thanks...I think. And Willow says, "duh" about the trust thing. I agree.
Tara
OH MY GAWD! Did you just READ that? They really are swapping spit. Oh... that's
Luvz,
Cordy
Whatever. < delete > Don't email me anymore Bleach Freak!
Yo. That's some sick-ass shit.
G->
Cordelia, Cordy old pal,
May I just take a moment to say, I TOLD YOU SO!! You gotta listen to the Xandman,
It's me...legs and breast man, you know? And...uh...well, after that phone
And by the way....TOLD YOU SO!
Love,
Xander
Xander, Then how did you know? Start dishing, Only Anya Demon Lover. Hey -
Now I'm gonna have to worry about your psycho-vengeance woman going all veiny on me
Luvz,
Cordy
Cordy, the guy talks when he's drunk. And that's all we do...drink and talk and
I *am* covert-ops guy....wanna see me in my uniform? I will if you wear that cat
But yeah. Kinda nice. I mean, I know you're not leaving your career there, and I'm
Love,
Xander
Xan,
I don't think it's lame... Okay, maybe a little lame. But that's only because...
Ugh... So... are we gonna talk again soon? Miss you.
Luvz,
C~
Cordy,
Yeah...you were there first on Planet Xander....never thought I'd hear you make it
So...Cordy....how do you feel about cyber sex?
Grinning like an idiot,
Xander
So. Why didn't anyone tell me the Hellmouth moved to Los Angeles?
Peace,
Oz
Can Xander and I watch? I think it would prove most educational for him. He has
And Xander? Perhaps if we reclassified sodomy as "good" touching, then it will be
Love,
Anyanka
Please please please delete and disregard Anya's last email. Please. Really. It
Xander
ExDemon who's shaggin Droopy,
Only if we can shag Droopy.
Love,
Me
Oz, Hey Wolfie!! I've totally missed you! Oh my god, howcome you don't write more?
Luvz,
Cordy
Not a whole lot of recall on the whole wolf thing when it happens. Which isn't often.
Oz
I'm not sure I understand what's happened here. I'm also not certain I want to.
Regards,
RPG
Spike,
One should really not answer one's email before the first cuppa. Please disregard
You are also correct. Wesley is an insufferable, sanctimonious pillock. Please feel
Cheers,
Rupert
Rupert,
Good to know everyone from the Motherland isn't a complete wanker.
Ta,
William
You and Angel are gay??? That's so cute!
Love ya!
Lil bit
Lil Bit,
It's not cute. And you shouldn't be reading this rubbish. Go to bed, you're up past
Love,
Me
Nyah nyah nyah....you're the one in the dog house. Buffy's stuffing her face with
Hehehehe....what evil can I get up to? What do you suppose I can find out on the
Say you love me too!
Lil bit
Lil bit,
You're not so big I can't take you over my knee, you know. Now off with you. Bed.
Love,
Me
P.S. Yeah, I love you too Nibblet
No one *ever* let's me have any fun! It's not fair! I *hate* being young! Fine,
Lil bit
Oz! Hi! You have an email address! I didn't know that. You just seemed to
I miss you. Do you think next time you're in town we could get together and talk?
Love,
Red Pez Witch
I didn't answer you right away. Needed to think. I don't think I'm ready to see you
Oz
Love,
You alright over there? Talk to me.
Love,
Me
I don't really know....I have to talk to her, but I just called and Dawn said she
I'm going to owe you, aren't I? That's okay...you made it easier for her. I wish
You know I love you, right?
Angel
Angel,
She'll be fine. She's alright. Strong girl. She's eating sweet treats with her
Forever,
Will - there's been alot of wasted time between us. No more, alright?
Love,
Angel
Angel, We're of the same mind here, pet. Tomorrow?
Love,
Me
Will - as soon as I talk to her. I need to do that first. God, I'm an idiot and
Love,
Angel
Angel, If you can't sleep - you know what to do. Give yourself a happy for me,
Love,
Me
P.S. Can wait to touch you, love.
No, you do not get to shag Droopy. So...nice thing you did there, Bleached Wonder.
Xander
Xanpet,
Love,
Right. Whatever. Stop giving Anya ideas. Just shut up and say thank you to the
Totally straight Xander
Shaggy,
Like I'd shag you anyway. And ta pet. You're a love.
Love,
Now I'm guilty and horny. Thanks, Will. And trust me...I know how to give myself
Love you,
Angel
Angel,
Can't tell ya how much I wanna slip inside ya right now. Could shag that sweet arse
Love,
How do you do that to me? Type a few words and have me in knots. I know...that gave
Angel
Angel,
Bloody hell. Tied up? Bugger. Gonna have me a nice wank thinkin on that.
Love,
Me
P.S. Will ya let me blindfold you?
The devil invented email, we're just perfecting it. You know I'll let you do anything
God, I love email!
Love you more....
Angel
sort of behavior is uncalled for and unnecessary. I don't believe the Council
would real approve of the rather mercenary operation you are running in Sunnydale.
But that's of no concern of mine. Please see if you can reign in William the
Bloody's rather extraverted behavior. I would deeply appreciate it!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 6:26 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Fwd: My amazing wit
I do believe I'm in still in favorable standing with them. And as much as it pains
me to say, Spike is simply stating a fact.
attend to these sorts of matters on your own. I've enough on my plate with the
current status of things, without being bothered by such trivial issues.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:30 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Icecream to the rescue!
know Spike was just being...Spike. That's kind of his job. If you need anything.
To talk, or maybe eat alot of icecream, I'm here. And Tara's here too. We could
all eat icecream and stuff. Don't be sad!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:38 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Icecream to the rescue!
eight of Ben and Jerry's. I'll come over after I make sure Dawnie's off to bed.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:33 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: From Tara - chocolate and stuff
frosting. That was really nice what you did. But Willow said I shouldn't tell
you that. See you tomorrow morning.well, late morning.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:38 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: From Tara - chocolate and stuff
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:40 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: From Tara - chocolate and stuff
Believe me, I understand...
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:29 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
too disgusting to even think of... I mean GAWD!! Angel? He's a total Hottie!!
How did you know? I mean... how... you're not having sex with Spike, too...
are you???? answer me right now.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] (Buffy), [email protected] (Willow & Tara),
[email protected] (Xander), [email protected] (Anya), [email protected]
(Rupert), [email protected] (Dawn), [email protected] (Gunn),
[email protected] (Oz), [email protected] (Wesley), [email protected]
(Kate), [email protected], [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:31 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected] (Buffy), [email protected] (Willow & Tara),
[email protected] (Xander), [email protected] (Anya), [email protected]
(Rupert), [email protected] (Dawn), [email protected]
(Cordy), [email protected] (Oz), [email protected] (Wesley),
[email protected] (Kate), [email protected], [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:31 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 12:48 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
he is wise in the ways of demon love. But only with Anya. Anya ex-demon love.
Only Anya. Sooooo not doing anything horizontal with the Spikenator....or anything....
conversation we had last week, how can you even ask that?? Have I mentioned
how great it was to "talk" to you again?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:08 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
I thought you were on covert ops over there... the "talk"... smooth move, ex-lax.
again. But anyway... I did enjoy it. It was great to hear you again. You sound...
bigger... ;)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
grunt. Man-stuff. I tried to tell you before, but nooooooo, your Dark Avenger
couldn't be doing it with Spike. Next time you will believe, Grasshopper.
suit again! Behold the genius that is Xander Harris...After I found out Anya was
snooping through my email I had Willow do some magic encryption stuff, so no one can
get into this bad boy except me. Totally safe. Kinda like phone sex. So....bigger,
huh? Yeah...growth spurt. And geez but that came out ruder than I meant it.
not leaving Anya. It's just....nice. Lame, huh? Figured I'd just beat you to it
and say it for you. But it was you know....nice I mean.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:35 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
well it is. I don't know, though... Not like I hate your veiny-psychopathic schizoid
of a girlfriend or anything... but I feel like I was there first, you know? Okay,
sounds strange.. Whatever.. I'm always being accused of being self-centered, so
maybe sometimes it's true. Not like I'm plexing over it... Which I'm not... Even
though I know it's wrong... even though we're like totally bad... and it was really
sexy when you said that, you know... Gawd. How pathetic am I? Drooling over the
'bad' comment... and yeah... the uniform... gotta say - worked for me.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:48 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..OMG!
sound like it was something you were proud of. So....thanks! And yeah....we're
bad....we know it! (Cue bad Michael Jackson music). We've got history, I guess....
even if it is the Hellmouthy kind, and even if most of it was spent in a broom
closet. Now *that's* the kind of closet I can stand to be in! (no more Spike
comments, please!). Yeah....we're are most definitely going to talk again soon.
There will be talkage. *And* I have an excellent long-distance plan (yep, always
thinking that Xandman is!).
From: [email protected]
To: Reply All Address Book: [email protected] (Buffy), [email protected]
(Willow & Tara), [email protected] (Xander), [email protected] (Anya),
[email protected] (Rupert), [email protected] (Dawn),
[email protected] (Cordy), [email protected] (Gunn), [email protected] (Oz),
[email protected] (Wesley), [email protected] (Kate), [email protected] (William)
Date: 1/23/01 1:10 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
*****
Part 4:
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Date: Date: 1/23/01 1:28 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
certain reservations regarding the pleasantness of anal penetration. Which is odd,
considering how often he enjoys being the one performing sodomy.
o.k. for Spike and Angel to sodomize you, just like it's o.k. for you to give Willow
those long and very sensual hugs that should be reserved only for me. I think we
need to review the touching list.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected], [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:45 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Fwd: Re: The Differences
didn't happen.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected],
Date: 1/23/01 1:48 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Hey there Mister!
I mean, this is a pretty crappy way for us to hear from you, but hey... we'll take
what we can get, you know? Anyway, I have to talk to you - I'm doing this dog shampoo
commercial next week, and I need to know how you keep your coat so shiny. Like do
you use products? I've got to get into character... give me something to draw from.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:24 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Hey there Ms.
I kinda have this control thing going on. But good luck. Devon sends you...well,
he's doing something interesting with his tongue. Says you'll understand. I'll let
you know when I'm in town.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 6:36 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday
Subject: Re: The Differences
Please refrain from Emailing me. I dislike this machine enough as it is.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 6:40 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday
Subject: Re: The Differences
my previous missive. You are nobler than you let on. You and I both know what you
did, and there's no point in dwelling on it. However, I feel compelled to say that
it was quite gracious of you. I thank you, on Buffy's behalf.
free to send him annoying emails. Often.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:42 PM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday
Subject: Re: The Differences
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..and How!!!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:21 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..and How!!!
your curfew.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:28 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: The Differences..and How!!!
icecream at Willow's, so I have the house to myself!
internet, Spike? And the great part? You can't tell on me to Buffy because she
won't be talking to you for like...forever! Nyah nyah nyah....love you alot! Give
Angel a big kiss for me!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:32 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Go to bed!
Now. Or no more trips to the crypt for story time. Now goodnight, and forget you
read this rot. You better listen to Sis, or you're in for it. I may not be able
to bite.... but Angel can.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 2:40 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Go to Bed!
fine...I'm going. See you tomorrow. And of course you love me....duh!
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 1:36 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Hi
disappear. But here you are.wherever here is for you. Uhm.how's about some small
talk? How are you? How are the Dingoe's doing? Tara and I are doing well.really good.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 7:02 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Hey
right now. Funny how I can control the wolf in me, but I can't manage to look at
you. Yeah.funny. Let's just try this email thing. See how that works out.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:10 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Talk to me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
was at Willow's with some guys named Ben and Jerry. I'm pretty sure that's some
inside joke. I can't believe you did that for me.
it weren't so close to daylight, I'd drive out there. Do you think she'll be alright?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:19 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
chums already... That's a good sign. And just for the record... I love you too.
William
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:23 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:34 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:42 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
this isn't how she should have found out, but I'm glad everyone knows. And they
do. I don't think you really fooled anyone. Except maybe Xander. He's not too
bright. So yes, tomorrow. Sleep well, one of us should.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 3:56 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
love. You can call, too... I'll talk ya through it. Give ya a good seein to on
the phone, yanno. And Xander? He already knows. He was just bein good about it
for Slayers sake.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:01 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Favors of a non-sexual variety
Need me to pick up anything for you? I'm betting you have company coming tomorrow.
Take care, DeadBoy Jr.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:08 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Favors of a non-sexual variety..you sure about that?
Come on... Just once. If ya don't like it, you don't have to do it again. Yanno
you're curious. I know ya are, anyway. And, yeah.. Poofter's comin tomorrow.
Tonight... I could use some JD. Be a love and go pick some up for me.
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:10 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Favors of a non-sexual variety..yes I'm sure!
nice human. JD it is. See ya manana you evil gay demon you.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:14 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Favors of a non-sexual variety..Fine!
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:15 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
a happy, but it will be nice to be thinking of you and tomorrow. Incentive. Definitely.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
of yours for days. Tomorrow.
Me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:25 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
you a visual. Think about it. Me. Tied up. At your mercy. Begging for you. And
you know I would. Want you now. Very very much. Be ready tomorrow. See you....
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:27 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 1/23/01 4:30 AM Pacific Standard Time (Tuesday)
Subject: Re: Talk to me
you want...because then I'm going to be doing it to you. Now go to sleep...and think
of me. Chains. Sweat. Moaning.
~fin~