*****
Ever been listening to a song on the radio and wonder about all those other people listening to the same song? Does it mean the same thing to them that it does to you? What scene in their lives is it the background music to?
*****

I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

Giles gave a half smile. If you had told him when he was going to his concerts (to get the birds, mate. Don't fancy that lovey dovey shite) that someday Elton John would be knighted, he'd a laughed in your face. Then may be punched it in for good measure.

A knock came to the door. With a sigh, Giles got up and answered the door. It was sure to be one of the children. In spite of all they had been thru, he still thought of them as such.

"Hello Ripper."

Giles' face hardened. "Ethan, what an unexpected and unwanted surprise. To which demon's curse do I owe this visit?" His eyes narrowed. "How did you escape the commandos?"

Ethan's hand went to his temple. "Perhaps we could take this conversation inside, old man."

Giles gave a harsh laugh. "They chipped you. That's it, isn't it?"

Irritation passed over Ethan's face. "Ripper, please."

"Yes, perhaps it would be best. Can't have the neighbors judging me by my company." Giles stood aside to let Ethan enter. He closed the door and followed Ethan to the couch. "So, no magic." A glass suddenly flew at him.

Ethan made a motion with his hand, only to fall writhing to the floor as the pain struck.

"Interesting."

"RIPPER!!!!!!"

"Well, you didn't think I was going to take your word for anything, now did you Ethan?"

Ethan glared at Giles as he sat back on the couch.

"So, what do you want? Make it quick. The less of you at this point, the better."

Ethan fixed his gaze on his hands. "Ripper, I. want to ask a favor of you."

Giles gave a snarl that would have done Spike proud as he grabbed Ethan and threw him against the wall. "You got hell of a nerve, Rayne. After whot you did to me? To the people of this town?" Giles' Watcher accent fell away, the lower class inflections coming to the fore. "If you think you can say anything to keep me from tossing you out on your ass."

Ethan fell to his knees, his head bowed, hands behind his back. "Please. Sir."

Giles stopped cold. His mind flew back thru the years. Ethan had been his once. His 'pet' to do with what he wish. The older boy had sought to dominate young Rupert when they had first met, only to be dominated himself.

They had continued like that till they started up the magicks. Ethan threw himself into the studies, while Giles picked and chose which spells caught his eye. And Ethan had stopped their games. After the mess of that last summoning, they had drifted apart.

Till they met in Sunnydale.

And now this.

Giles ran his fingers along Ethan's jaw line, forcing him to look up. Ethan was suddenly rocked back by a backhanded blow.

"You know what you're asking?"

Ethan rubbed his face as he stared at Giles. For a moment, it seemed like he would storm out. Then silently, he righted himself and kneeled as before.

Giles stood for a long moment. Then pulling his belt from its loops, he wrapped it around Ethan's neck, tightening it to force him to standing.

He pushed right into Ethan's face. "You have a lot to make up for, Rayne. Time to get started."

I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

Wesley and Angel walked into the lobby of the hotel, letting their weapons clang to the floor. Too late again. And despite taking on five of the creatures, Wesley knew Angel held himself responsible for not reaching the innocent in time.

He watched Angel walk toward the French doors, looking out into the night as he entered the kitchen. He made himself some hot tea, heating up some blood for Angel as well. Wesley's mind vaguely registered that the radio had been left on, the name of the song playing escaping him for the moment. Finished, he walked over to Angel, holding out the mug to him.

Angel gave a distracted nod to Wesley as he took the mug. But his gaze remained outside.

"Much as we would like it to be so, the good guys can't win every time."

"Why not? What's the use of it all if we can't."

Wesley looked at his cup. "That's not the way it works. You know that as well as I do."

Angel walked wearily to the couch, falling heavily onto it. Wesley looked at him for a moment, then seemed to reach a decision in his mind. Setting his cup down, he walked behind Angel. After a slight hesitation, he began to massage Angel's shoulders.

Angel started at the touch, then leaned into the caresses. His eyes slid shut as Wesley worked the knotted muscles under his neck. Wesley tutted softly under his breath.

"Angel, you have to let us help you. You can't keep this up."

"I think that's what you were doing tonight, wasn't it? You got that one I missed."

Wesley stopped and walked to stand in front of Angel. "That's not what I mean." he said softly. "You don't let me-us help where it matters." Worrying his bottom lip, Wesley leaned forward, his hand resting lightly on Angel's temple. "In here." The hand slid down to stop over the unbeating heart. "And in here."

Angel looked at Wesley. He went still at what he saw in Wesley's eyes. Uncertainty, apprehension. But more than that, desire. And love.

"Wesley.I can't.I can't let myself go there again." He turned his head. "I've lost too much. Darla. Buffy." A rueful smile. "Even Spike and Drusilla." His gaze returned to Wesley. "My soul."

"A soul that has since been binded to you, if you remember. You're just afraid to believe it to be so."

"Can you blame me? You know what Angelus can do." he growled. "I have to protect all of you."

"Protect us from you? Or you from us?"

Angel dropped his eyes, unable or unwilling to answer.

Wesley looked at him for a long moment. Then, slowly, gently, he pushed Angel back, sitting on his lap. "I'm willing to take the chance, Angel. Are you?"

He leaned into Angel. With barely any pressure, he kissed him.

Angel's hands clenched tightly at his sides. He could this.couldn't he?

Wesley's own hands roamed lightly over Angel's body. His nails lightly scratched at him thru his shirt, tracing the muscles of his stomach. "Angel." he breathed into Angel's ear. "Please."

The heat on his neck snapped what little control Angel had left. He crushed Wesley to himself, his mouth catching Wesley's. Only pushing away to let him catch his breath.

"Upstairs." He said harshly. "Just in case."

Wesley smiled. Standing up, he led Angel to the stairs.

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love on my own terms
After everything I've ever learned
Me, I carry too much baggage
Oh man I've seen so much traffic

"What you put it on that for?? Sounds like something Peaches would listen to."

Lindsey smiled to himself as he fiddled with the radio. "You really should open yourself up to new things, Spike"

Spike came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I can think of better things to open up." He leaned against him, purring.

Lindsey pulled away. That was too much of a reminder of Darla for his liking.

"That's one thing about my family. We're hard to get over." He leaned against the wall, fishing for his cigarettes from his coat pocket. "Something about the blood, I suppose. "

"Well, thanks for the tip."

"You're not the only one whose ended up in second place to Angel in his girl's eyes, you know."

"What the hell is it about him? Why.?"

Spike stalked toward Lindsey, stopping right in front of him. "I'm done talking bout the soddin' git. He leaned in, hovering by Lindsey's lips. "Aren't you ?"

Lindsey's teeth caught his bottom lip. Spike licked at it. "Wanna play, Linds?"

"Yeah. Wanna play." His voice came out husky, his accent more apparent now.

Spike smirked. "Let me show you one of the few worthwhile things ANGELUS," he stressed "taught me." He fell to his knees, palming Lindsey's growing hardness thru his pants. Carefully, he took it out and with a slow long lick, he took all of him in his mouth.

Lindsey's body stiffened, his hands grabbing the counter behind him to support him. Spike's tongue moved expertly in his mouth, teasing. "Oh, God, Spike." Spike kept him at the edge, never allowing him the release of going over it.

Lindsey grabbed for Spike's head, his hands flying back to the counter as the vibrations of Spike's warning growl shot up his cock.

Lindsey closed his eyes, for once not seeing Darla in his mind.

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

So bring it on, I've been bruised
Don't give me love that's clean and smooth
I'm ready for the rougher stuff
No sweet romance, I've had enough

"Uh.Xander? How much further is this place? The radio's starting to fade out. "

"Hey, you're not worried or anything, are ya? You said you didn't feel like staying in Sunnydale your first night back."

"Yeah, but had some idea of staying in the state."

Xander laughed. "Don't worry Oz. Been coming up here for."his good humor dimmed noticeably "a couple years now. Just a place when I have to be alone."

Oz picked up on his subdued mood. "This may be a odd question, but why do you want to show me?"

"I thought you'd appreciate it. You may be the only one who could." He suddenly became interested in the road.

The rest of the drive passed in silence. Oz looked out the window. They were going to higher ground, one of the forests surrounding Sunnydale. He had explored some of them after he realized he'd become a werewolf. But he had never been to this area. He wondered how Xander had found it, and why he needed to.

After twenty more minutes, Xander pulled off onto what seemed to be a little used road. They parked the car just out of sight of the highway, then hiked for a mile or so, Xander carrying a backpack. Soon, they were standing in front of a cave, almost hidden by branches.

"This is it." Xander said quietly.

"It's nice. How'd you find it? This doesn't seem to be a usual camping spot."

Xander motioned Oz to follow him into the cave. Oz was surprised on how clean it was. It was.maintained, like someone lived here. He looked questioningly at Xander.

Xander moved over to the center of the cave, firewood already stacked to be lit. Blankets were toward the back, and a strong box on the other side.

"Willow ever tell you about when Buffy first came here? The school trip we took to the zoo?"

Oz shook his head. "She started to say something once, but then she changed the subject."

A wistfully smile crossed Xander's face as he lit the fire. "I was possessed." He looked up at Oz. "By a hyena spirit."

Oz's eyes widened slightly. "A hyena, huh? What happened?"

Xander shrugged. "A guy wanted the spirit for himself. Me and some other kids got it instead. We ate the school mascot, nice little pig." His eyes have a faraway look to them. "The others killed our old principal, before Snyder. I was locked in the cage in the library when they did." He shook himself. "Long story short, guy took the spirit back, he got eaten by the hyenas, yadda yadda yadda." Xander stared into the fire. "I lied and told the girls I didn't remember what had happened. But I do. Not all of it. Just enough to make me have to leave the city every now and then." He looked around the cave. "I found this one of those times. My own little lair you could say. There's good game in the area." He trailed off.

Oz sat across from him. "You go hunting then?"

Xander smiled. "You could say that. I've got just enough of the memories to help me track. Anyway, it was about time for me to come here. You wanted a little trip. Figured why not. Moon's only quarter full. So thought you could just enjoy the place while I was gone. I'll be a couple hours. What you say?"

Oz thought for a moment, then nodded his head. "Sure, alright. It is nice here. I think I could do with some quiet. You sure you're going to be okay though?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. There some stuff in the backpack if you want."

Oz just nodded his head again, watching as Xander took off his shirt and baggy jeans. He was wearing a pair of cutoffs under them. Oz's breath caught a little in his throat. He had never realized what those clothes had hidden.

Xander took a knife from the strong box, putting his clothes in before locking it. "See ya in a bit." Then he was gone.

Oz sat for a minute, just letting the woods around him grow quiet again. There was a slight nagging in the back of his mind. It took a moment before he realized what it was.

Xander's scent had changed.

Sometime later, Oz had finished the supplies in the backpack and was watching the stars. He caught a new scent a scant second before he heard movement in the trees. Standing up, he waited, trying to place the movement.

Suddenly, Xander burst into the clearing. He was covered in blood, the knife held loosely in his hand.

Oz took a step back. "Xander?" His nose twitched at the fresh blood. The werewolf stirred in his mind.

Xander looked at him for a moment, the high pitched giggle making Oz's hair stand on end. Then Xander walked over to him, smearing the blood across Oz's mouth. "Packbrother." he growled.

Oz's tongue flicked out, licking the blood it could reach. Xander stared, suddenly catching Oz's mouth with his own, his own tongue forcing its way in.

Oz moaned at the taste and the smell of the blood around him. The werewolf was fighting him, wanting at the blood. At the.'Packmate', the beast whispered. 'Want him.'

Oz pushed Xander away, trying to regain control. Xander frowned at him, wonder why he stopped. He could smell the want coming from Oz. With a giggle, Xander threw him to the ground, ripping off his clothes.

Then his nails screamed down Oz's chest, four bloody welts raising on the skin.

The werewolf roared, taking over. Oz shoved Xander to the ground, tearing the cutoffs from his body. His tongue traveled over Xander's body, licking up the blood. He nipped at Xander's neck when he tried to get up. The growl building in Xander's throat gave way to a strangled cry as Oz roughly entered him.

The two fought against each other as they fucked, exchanging growls, scratches, small bites. Oz came first, letting loose a howl that frightened everything in the area. Xander's cry a few seconds later was not any more soothing.

Oz and Xander just managed to crawl back to the cave before collapsing in a heap on the blankets, their animals recognizing each other as packmates.

A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing
That's the love I want, I want love

*****

I smile to myself as I turn off the radio. That's one of the things I've always liked about Elton's and Bernie's songs. You could always make up such interesting stories behind them.

~fin~