Xander left for L.A on Friday as soon as school let out and the last of his kids in his kindergarten class left for home. Driving down the highway country music blaring out his speakers Xander thought about Brad and what he was going to say. He almost turned around once but when he thought about Brad and his stupid book he remembered how much that book would hurt his friends. So he drove on and with each passing mile it was getting him closer to the object of his heartbreak and nightmares. Ever since he got that package and knowing he was to see Brad again the nightmares had returned.

When Xander got to L.A. he found his hotel and went straight to his room to call his friends to tell them that he made it safe and sound and he told them that as soon as he got off the phone to them he would call Angel and let him know that he was in town. But as soon as he hung up the phone there was a knock on his door.

Xander walked to the door and opened it. And standing there in the hall way with Brads book in one hand and his thumb hooked in his blue jean front pocket was.. " SPIKE!"

" XANDER!"

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" They both yelled out at the same time.

" Did you write this book?" Asked Spike looking at Xander suspiciously.

" Hell no!"

" Well I just find it funny that I get this book and with it a letter and that I'm to come to this hotel, this room and knock on this door and I will get all my questions answered." Said Spike.

" Well you might as well come in and I will try to explain it all if I can."

" I can't believe Brad did this to me."

" What did you say whelp?"

" Nothing"

" Have a seat Spike."

" The guy who wrote that book lived in Sunnydale for awhile anyway."

" Did I know him?"

" No" Whispered Xander

" Well then whelp would you tell me how in the hell this wanker knows so much about me then." Growled Spike.

" I'm getting there and stop interrupting me so I can finish the story." Yelled Xander who is starting to get nervous knowing that by the time he got done telling Spike he would be pissed and would more than likely kill him.

"A couple of years back while on patrol I got hurt and had to go to the hospital, you were already gone. Said Xander taking a deep breath. "I met this doctor and his name was Brad Mallory, the guy that wrote that book. Well any way, he learned some stuff about us and he published it in a novel to become famous; or what ever." Said Xander in a rush of words.

" How did he find out about Buffy, Willow, you and me luv?" Asked Spike through clinched teeth.

" Don't call me that!" Yelled Xander jumping up from his chair and started to pace.

Spike noticed Xanders body give a violent shudder and Xander wrapped his arms around his chest in a protected embrace as he continued to pace.

" He was my boyfriend." Whispered Xander not looking at Spike when he spoke.

" Oh" Spike looking at Xander and while his soul in side was happy that Xander was finally coming to terms with being gay and maybe that he had a chance but his demon was pissed because the boy was his and he wanted to be the first to have him and his only.

" We lived together for about seven months and then something happened and then we broke up." Whispered Xander.

" What happened?"

" He was using me." " His brother wanted revenge and he told Brad to get close to me to get to know me and then they were supposed to kill me; Grant; Brads brother lured me to their sisters house out side of Sunnydale to kill me but Brad showed up and knocked his brother out then called the police and I haven't heard from him in years till I get a package in the mail with his book and a letter telling me he was sorry and wanted to see me."

" Revenge for what?" Asked Spike.

" Its not important now." Said Xander sitting down in a chair by the couch where Spike was sitting.

Xander was now looking at Spike I mean really looking at him. He kept thinking to himself that something wasn't right about Spike he seemed different; more calmer almost surreal. He looked the same; with the same blonde hair; he looked thinner but still had his strong build; he was wearing blue jeans and a green sweater but no black leather duster. In its place is a black leather coat that end at his thighs. It made him look so human. It was really bizarre to see Spike wearing something other then all black but this looked great on him, he was so fucking hot. Xander couldn't help staring at Spike when he stood up and removed his coat.

*Oh shit! God he is so fucking hot! He had to have painted those pants on. Look how they cling to his thighs and that ass. How can he sit in those jeans they are so tight. And that sweater it just clings to his chest and shoulder and good god it's tight on his stomach. FUCK! Now I have a hard on! Ok I'll just lean over a bit and pick up the pillow from the couch and kind of lay it across my lap and hide the bulge in my pants. Come on Harris move slowly not to arouse Spike suspicion. Shit I said arouse! Yep I'm such a freaking dork!*

" Xander was it about Buffy?" Asked Spike

" No!"

Shit even after all this time he still has feelings about Buffy. Why cant it be me that has his heart? I wish he could see how much I love him; want him; shit even need him. Buffy never gave a crap about him and he still gives a shit about what happens to her.

" Its over now so just fucking drop it ok!" Xander yelled getting up from the chair and walking over to the wet bar that was in his hotel room and took out a bottle of beer.

" Want one?" Xander asked Spike.

" Ya mate throw me one."

Xander stayed a cross the room and watched Spike tilt his head back drinking his beer. Watching his white silky throat move up and down as the cold beer slid down. Fantasizing that his lips and tongue was on that throat. Kissing him, tasting him, biting his throat till he heard Spike beg for him to fuck him or oh god have Spike beg to be inside him, screwing him. He had to calm down.

" Spike where were you?" Asked Xander in a low voice.

Spike looked over at Xander and they looked in each other's eyes till Spike broke the gaze and looked down. The room was quite each of them in their own thoughts. Spike started to peel off the label on his beer bottle as he thought about the years he was away from Sunnydale.

" I left after I got into a fight with Buffy. I couldn't take that place any more so I left." Said Spike shrugging his shoulders.

" I know about Buffy and you." " And that you attacked her at her house."

Spike jerked his head up and looked at Xander surprised.

" She told you?"

" Ya"

" And how come you aren't ramming a stack through my heart and all, I mean you are her white knight and all that rot." Sneered Spike.

" I wanted to, you know after I found out, I wanted to real bad but you were gone."

" And now?"

" Well it's been a couple years and I guess I just kind of mellowed on the idea." " I mean you are still a prick Spike but also a friend." Xander whispering the last part.

Spike jerks his head up when he heard what Xander said. Spike couldn't believe what Xander was telling him.

" We were never friends Harris." " I tried to kill you remember and we hated each other." " We exchanged insults and name calling." " No Harris we were never friends." Said Spike with almost a hint of regret in his voice.

Xander just set there in thought and not looking at Spike not wanting to see the contempt on his face; the face he fantasized about; the face that was beautiful when Spike smiled not the sexy leer smile but the one he always gave Xander when he thought no one was looking. " I went to Africa." Whispered Spike.

" What?"

" I went to Africa when I left Sunnydale." Spike said a little louder.

" Why?"

" I heard about this demon bloke who could remove my chip."

" So, did he remove it?"

"Ya."

The silence in the room was deafening as Xander sat in his chair trying to get his mind to wrap around what Spike said. Finally like a light coming on in his head he jumped up and walked over to the other side of the room again.

" So, what are you going to kill me now?" " I mean you always said that when you get your chip out you were going to kill all of us; rip our throats out; hang us by our entrails, and bath in our blood." " You even said yourself that we were never friends so is this where you kill me now?"

" Stop" Whispered Spike.

" Just stop" " I'm not here to kill you Xander" " If I wanted you dead I would have done it years ago when I first got it out." " And ya that was why I wanted it out in the first place." " Why I went to Africa." " I wanted to make Buffy sorry for using me." " So I went to go see that demon and he made me go through some challenges and I passed them all and he removed my chip but he gave me an added bonus." Spike said not holding back his contempt.

" What did he give you Spike?" Asked Xander not being able to stop his voice from trembling in fear.

Spike bent over and put his head in his hands and set there for a few minutes trying to control his body from shaking. When ever he thought about that day his body shook and he felt like throwing up all the borrowed blood that lay in his stomach. Spike took a deep unneeded breath to get his body back in control so he could finish telling Xander where he was for the last few years.

" A soul." " He gave me a soul"

" Oh shit Spike!" " So what you are like Angel..all soulful and going for redemption."

" No just trying to get by day after day" " You know trying to suppress my enter demons and all that rot." " I have over one hundred years of killing, torture and mayhem to compensate for." " But its just my own nightmares that I have to deal with." " I'm not looking for redemption or becoming human." " I just want to get off this hell ride." " But the soul wont let me take a walk in the sun because it feels that I deserve the nightmares and the mind fucks!" Yelled Spike.

" Mine fucks?" " What do you mean Spike?" Asked Xander.

" I see the people I killed...they talk to me..I can hear them scream..cry...beg me to let them live..they are everywhere...they follow me and watch me."

Xander went and set down on the couch next to Spike. Not speaking; not looking at him; just sitting close; hoping that just being there to hear Spike tell his story was a little bit of comfort.

" Spike I am so sorry that you are going through this." " I know what Angel went through." " We talked about it one night..Angel and me..we had some beers and I asked him about his soul and how he felt about it...he said that he wouldn't trade his soul for anything in this world..he didn't have to hurt people and he found a family that loves him as much as he loved them..and the only thing that was missing from his family was his Childe." " I think you need to contact Angel." " He will help you Spike."

" Did you know that he has been looking for you?" " He looked everywhere." " He heard that you were in New Orleans and he flew there but it wasn't you." " Then he heard you where in New York and he went there." " But you had left there three weeks earlier." " And then the trail got cold and he returned home after being gone for a month." He went up and down the east coast looking for you." " He won't give up till he finds you and brings you home..where you belong."

" I don't need my bloody Sires help!" " I've learned to live with this damn soul and I don't need Angel to help me deal with it or anything else!" Sneered Spike.

" And you know what whelp, I don't need your shit either!"

" Spike..Please!" Begged Xander.

Spike got up from the couch pissed off at Xander and grabbed his coat and started to walk to the door. Xander didn't want Spike to leave; in his heart he knew that if Spike walked out that door he would never see him again and that left a cold chill in his heart and a sick feeling in his stomach. He had to stop him from walking out of his life again not when he just found him again.

" Spike!" Please don't leave." " If you don't want Angels help then fine and if you want I wont even tell him that you are here." " Just stay...please..I'm begging you to stay..Spike." Xander begging Spike with tears in his eyes and this throat becoming tight with emotion just thinking about Spike walking out that door.

" Why Xander?" " Why do you want me to stay?" Asked Spike.

" We have all missed you." " Willow..Dawn..even Buffy." " I think Giles missed you too but he never said."

Spike laughed at that then got serious wanting to know how Xander felt about him.if he missed him too.

" What about you Xander.did you miss me?" Asked Spike softly.

" Yes." " More then you will ever know." Whispered Xander.

" Buffy huh."

" Ya even Buffy"

" How are they?" Asked Spike.

" Come sit down and I will give you the low down on all the Sunnydale latest." Pleaded Xander.

" Got more beer." Asked Spike.

" Ya I got beer."

" Good"

Spike and Xander talked well in to the night. Xander told Spike everything that has happened since he left. They made a toast to Tara. Spike chuckled when he heard about Giles and Buffy getting married and even made a comment how he didn't see that coming and even got a little somber when he heard they had a little girl together. But said that Buffy deserved to be happy. He was happy that Willow was finally getting over Tara's death and dating.a guy even. He told Xander he was happy that he finally went to college and then laughed till he had tears rolling down his face when Xander said that he was a Kindergarten teacher. " Hey Spike its not that funny!"

Spike sobering up looked over at Xander and watched him. They way his unruly hair fell in his eyes and his beautiful brown eyes sparked with laughter. Spike thought that it was the most beautiful sight in the world to see Xander laugh. He was so pure and innocent even after all these years. He still had his boyish looks. Even though his build was more solid and his shoulders were wider and his thighs were thicker..bloody hell thought Spike.I bet he looks like a Greek god under his clothes..

Spike gave Xander a small smile.

" So a teacher..what do all the little bits call you?"

" Mr. Harris."

Spike who thought this was funny stared to laugh all over again.

" Ok blonde menace I don't get the joke.so do not get the joke."

" You just strike me as the kinda bloke that doesn't go by all the bloody formal crap and all.'

" Just thought that you would have them call you Alexander or just Xander hell maybe even Alex."

" No the school policy is the students have to call all teachers by the surname."

Spike just shook his head. " Well Xander I better go and let you get some sleep."

" Are you going to be in L.A. awhile?" Asked Xander hopefully.

" Ya I'll be here awhile.think I'll go down to the front desk to scare up a room.flash some fangs and all."

"Ok maybe we can get together tomorrow and finish catching up."

" Ya I would like that." Said Spike easing his way to the door.

" You going to see that Mallory bloke tomorrow?"

" Ya I need some closer."

" Ok then, see you tomorrow Mr. Harris."

Xander just laughed as he shut the door behind Spike. He went back into his hotel room shutting off the lights as he made his way back to the bedroom the whole time thinking about Spike. Wishing he had the nerve to tell him how he felt. And so he made a promise to himself that he was going to do just that before he left L.A.

*****
Part 16:

Spike left Xander and walked to the elevator in the hotel. He decided that he should go down to the front desk and get a room for the night. When he got to the elevator he pressed the button and waited for the doors to open. It was late and the hallway was so quite it was almost eerie. Spike stood there lost in thought with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets not hearing a man walk down the hallway and stand behind him waiting for the elevator to descend to their floor. The doors opened and Spike raised his head and walked in, turned around to press the button for the first floor when he noticed the man standing there in the hallway staring at Spike.

" Going down mate?"

" Ya" Replied the man as he walked in to the elevator. He stood there nervously wringing his hands and fidgeting with a ring on his finger.

The elevator gave a jerk then started its slow descend down. The strange man reached over and opens the emergency panel and pressed the stop button. The elevator gave a violent jerk and shake as it stops in between floors. Spike looked over at the man and raised an eyebrow and gave the man a menacing glare.

" I wanted your undivided attention so I could talk to you. Did you read my book?"

" So you're the bloke that wrote that shit?" Snarled Spike through clenched teeth.

" Yes, I take it you didn't like my book?"

" No and do you have any idea the danger you put me and the others in? This book will have everyone running to Sunnydale on their next holiday. You let the whole world know about the slayer and her friends. You single handedly nailed the last nail in their coffins. So tell me something Brad Mallory..how does it feel to rake in the fame and fortune of the book that will get Xander Harris killed?"

" That was never my intentions..I love Xander."

Spike howled and grabbed Brad by the throat and throws him against the wall holding him there as his feet dangled inches from the floor.

" Don't you even say you love him.you aren't even worthy enough to say his name; not after what you and your brother did to him. And I want to know why?"

Brad jerked his eyes to Spike in surprise.

" He never told you why?" Squeaked Brad. Finding it hard to talk when you have a pissed off vampire squeezing off your air supply.

Spike realizing that he still had Brad by the throat let him drop to the floor where Brad crumbled at Spikes feet gasping for air. Spike reached down and grabbed Brad by his jacket collar and set him back to his feet. Brad leaned on the wall for support knew his legs couldn't keep him up any more and he didn't want to land at Spikes feet again. Brad rubbed his hands over his face and looked at Spike wondering how much he should tell him and still make it out of the elevator alive.

" My brother wanted revenge on the person who killed our mother and decided that the only thing to hurt this person was to kill someone that this person loved; so they would know what it was like to live with out them. And that person just happened to be Xander.

Xander is totally an innocent in all this and my brother had me go to Sunnydale to spy on him and get close to him. To learn all I can about him. But I fell in love with him. I didn't mean too but I did and nothing with change how I feel. I always wanted to be a writer and Xander always tried to get me to follow my dreams so after what happened between us I wanted to write this book for him. I needed to write this book for him.but I never knew that it could get him killed. I never thought of that. I thought he would read it and..I don't know.love me again.."

" I don't know if he still loves you and but I do know that you will stay the fuck away from him..you will never get Xander Harris..and if you want him you will have to stake me..what you and your brother did to him was fucked up."

" Oh god you love him?" Interrupted Brad

" Ya mate you can say that. I have wanted Xander since I met him. At first it was to drain him.to kill him.to turn him.make him my childe....then when I got chipped I got to know him.the real him...and then I grow to love him."

Brad looking down to the floor staring at a stain in the carpet thinking over what Spike said then coming to the decision that above all else.even above his own happiness and how much he loves Xander he knew he had to right a wrong. He already started this game so now after meeting Spike he knew he made a good choice in sending the book and letters to these two star crossed lovers and help bring them back together and have them declare how they feel about each other. He knew how Xander felt about Spike and now he was going to tell Spike. He had to finish this. So he reached in to the inside of his jacket and deep in to his pocket he pulled out a videotape. He looks at it and then reaches it out to Spike. Spike looks down at the tape and looks up at Brad with a confused look on his face.

" What's this?"

" You wanted to know why? Well this tape will answer that." Said Brad

Spike took the tape and watched as Brad walked back to the emergency panel and press a button to make the elevator jerk to life again.

" Take care of him William the Bloody. He is.. everything..good and pure in this world." Said Brad with a tired sigh.

Spike nods at Brad understanding what he is saying.

The elevator door opens and Brad steps out and turns around facing Spike and reaches his hand out to stop the doors from closing.

" He loves you..he has always loved you.he used to whisper your name in his sleep and every time your sire went looking for you and return empty handed I could hear him cry while he was in the shower..he didn't think I knew about that but I did." Said Brad as he let his hand drop and the door to close on Spikes shocked face.

*****
Part 17:

Spike walked to his hotel room still in a daze. He couldn't get his mind to wrap around what Brad said. Xander loved him.he loves him..he was in love with him.. .him.William the Bloody.aka..Spike.the blonde menace.the killer of not one but two slayers.and now will he still love him with a soul. Spike knew that his head was more fucked up then he was before. He had terrible nightmares about the past. And he wanted Xander but he didn't want to drag him down to the hell that was his life. When Spike got to his room the first thing he did was to make sure there was a TV and VCR in his room, even though the guy at the front desk said that every room was equipped with one he had to make sure. He wanted to know what was on the videotape. And he didn't like seeing his Xander getting hurt and someone trying to kill him that doesn't settle well with his demon or his soul. Brad Mallory and his brother just might have to pay for hurting Xander. Spike put the tape in and stood in front of the TV legs apart in a tense stance and arms crossed his chest. The tape flicked to life and started to play...

When the tape ended with black and white snow on the TV screen Spikes jaws were clinched so tight he could hear his teeth crack. He reached over and pulled the tape from the VCR and walked out the door with a violent slam that the doorframe cracked under the pressure and the walls shook.

Xander's body jerked awake when someone started to bang on his door. He sat in his bed looking over at the clock by the bed and gave out a loud groan when he saw it was only 4 in the morning and who ever was banging on his door better have a very good excuse to wake him at this ungodly hour. Xander not even bothering to put on his pants went to answer his door in his boxers. He pulled the door open with a fast swing ready to tell his unwanted visitor what he thought about being woke up at 4 in the morning. But when he saw Spike standing there with a very intense look on his face and there for a minute he could have swore his eyes flashed to a golden yellow. Spike pushed past Xander and walked in to the hotel room then turned around and held out the videotape.

" Here this is yours. When I left here I ran in to your EX-LOVER in the elevator and he wanted me to have this but after I seen it I thought you might want it." Spat Spike. He made sure he put a lot of venom in the word ex-lover when he spoke.

Xander took the tape and turned it over and over in his hand. He was seriously puzzled and he shook his head and looked up at Spike.

" What is this? What's on this?" Asked Xander.

" When Brad's brother kidnapped you and tied you to a bed and then beat you; he video taped it."

Xander walked over to the couch and sat down. He put his head in his hands and put them between his knees where he started to rock his whole body back and forth mumbling in to his hands.

" Why didn't you tell me Xander? Why didn't you say that I was the reason you were targeted for their sick revenge? Cried Spike.

" I doesn't matter now Spike what ever happened is in the past now and it just doesn't matter."

" Ya it does Xan, it matters. I was the reason why you got hurt and I can't deal with that. I can't change what I am or what I did in the past. I'm a vampire Xander and I did some really bad things and my soul won't let me forget what I did. And now to add to the mounds of guilt I have to add hurting you to that list of the bad things I did. I'm sorry Xander for what they did. I'm sorry you had to get hurt because of me." Cried Spike with tears rolling down his face.

Xander got up from the couch and walked over to Spike and stood in front of him.

" I don't care what you did in the past Spike and I know you are a vampire. I kinda knew that when we first met outside the high school. Remember when Angel offered my neck to you."

Spike gave a short chuckle and wiped the tears from his face.

" I should have taken him up on his offer." Laughed Spike.

" Ya you should have." Whispered Xander.

"I am sorry Xan but if I stick around you will only get hurt more and I can't live with that. I will try and keep in contact with you. Tell everyone I said hi and that I'm doing fine. I will try to write you ok. But I can't stay. It hurts to much." Said Spike as he walked to the door.

" Spike you can't leave! Not now! I just found you again! Please Spike don't leave. I'm begging you don't leave...I love you.I'm in love with you Spike.I always have and shit.. always will be..so please don't leave..not after I just found you." Said Xander as the tears welled up in his eyes blurring his vision.

" Oh Xan I love you too and that is why I have to leave I can't see you get hurt.and I will end up hurting you."

Xander knows that Spike loves him and he had to find a way to make Spike want to stay. He walks up to him and puts a hand on each side of his face and tilts his head up. He places his lips on Spikes lips. When their lips met they both gave out a moan. Xander puts all his love and want for this man in to this kiss. He runs his tongue across Spikes bottom lip begging for entrance to his mouth and his cool tongue that lay inside. Spike opened his mouth and brought his tongue out to play with Xanders. When their tongues met they both clung to each other in need. Wrapping their arms around each other in a tight embrace both afraid if they let go they will both fall to the floor. Holding each other up as they devoured each other they gave in to the kiss with all the love they had. Xander backed Spike to the wall and leaned him against it for leverage as he ground his hard shaft in to Spikes letting him know how much he wanted him. Spike throws his head back and let it smack in to the wall as he panted an unneeded breath. Spike dropped his hand down to Xanders waist and pulled him closer grinding their hard shafts together. Xander rocks up and down to cause more friction and dry fucks Spike in to the wall. Both of them panting and giving in to the passion of the moment. Spike grabs the back of Xanders neck and pulls him in to a deep kiss as his body draws tight when he cums in his jeans he silently screams into Xanders mouth. Xander knowing that he made Spike lose control gives in to his orgasm and buries his head into Spikes shoulders as he too cums in his boxers. Both of them panting and running their hands up and down each other's bodies not wanting to pull apart and break the moment. Spike gently pushes Xander back and lifts a hand to Xanders face, he runs a thumb across his bottom lip and them leans in and gives Xander a chaste kiss on his lips. He rests his forehead to Xanders and then pulls back and gives him another small kiss.

" I do love you Xander.. I'm sorry...I'll write you." Whispered Spike as he pulled out of Xanders embrace and then he walked out the door. Closing the door with a soft click but to Xander it sounded like a loud bang as Spiked walked out of his life again. Xander crumbled to the floor with loud sobs, his body shaking in grief as he cried.

*****
Part 18:

A week has past since Xander returned home to Sunnydale. He tried to slip back in to his usual routine of life but after seeing Spike again he was slipping in to a dark depression. Giles told him after he had been home a couple days that Spike finally showed up on Angel's doorstep drunk and crying. So Xander came clean to Giles about seeing Spike in L.A. and they talked but even though they told each other how they felt, Spike still walk out. So Giles told Xander if you want him, fight for him, and let him know how much you want him, how much you love him and how much you need him. So with the girls help he decided to do just that. So Operation Win Spike's Heart was organized and the home base was at Xander's apartment. Where Xander and the girls were at right now coming up with a plan to knock Spike right out of his Doc Martians and bring him home to Xander.

" Ok Willow do you honestly think this will work?" Asked Xander.

" Well maybe not just this but with everything we have planned he won't know what hit him. Don't worry Xander he won't have a choice but to return home. Trust us we know how to chase guys. Oh well in my case girls too. Don't we Buffy?"

" Yep! Don't worry I already made some calls and have the first part of the plan in the works as we speak. Right now Spike is getting his first surprise." Said Buffy with a satisfied smile on her face.

Cordelia Chase was sitting behind her desk in the front lobby of the Hyperion hotel with her legs rested on her desk flipping through the latest Cosmopolitan magazine when a man walked through the door with a huge bouquet of flowers. Cordelia looked up from her magazine and gave the deliveryman one of her biggest smiles.

" Wow flowers! Who are they for?"

" Do you know someone by the name Spike?" Asked the deliveryman.

" Someone got Spike flowers? Oh ya! You go Xan! I'll take them to him, he is downstairs."

Cordelia took the flowers and made her way down to Angel's apartment. She couldn't wait to see Spikes face when he saw the flowers. When she got there she walked over to a confused Spike and shoved the flowers in his face and with a smile told him someone sent him flowers.

" Someone sent me roses?" asked Spiked

" Yep and I'll say about two dozen. So are you going to take them? And open the card to see who they are from." Said Cordelia excitedly.

Spike took the flowers and bent his head down closed his eyes and buried his nose in to the bouquet of roses and inhaled the sweet scent of fresh flowers. He pulled his head back and with the gentlest of touches he ran his thumb and forefinger across a silky rose petal. He reached for the card and opened the envelope pulling out the card in side. He looked at the card and got up with his roses and walked to the bedroom he has been staying in and closes the door with out a word to anyone.

" What was that? He didn't even say anything." Said Cordelia as she throws her hands up in the air in frustration.

" Who were they from?" Asked Angel.

" I guess Xander. I'm going to go call him and see."

Cordelia called Xander's apartment and Willow answered the phone. She told Willow that Spike got flowers and found out that yes they were for Spike and after a lengthy phone conversation she told Willow that she would help in anyway possible to help Xander win Spikes heart.

Angel came up stairs and set on the edge of Cordelia's desk waiting for her to get off the phone.

" Well what did Xander say?"

" That was Willow and she said that they have formed a series of plans for Xander to win Spike's heart. Its called Operation Win Spike's Heart and I think Willow came up with that name. But I told her to count me in, that I want to help and I will do what ever they need on our end that needs to be done."

" Good tell them that I will help too. My wayward childe wont know what hit him after we are through with him."

Angel and Cordelia continued to talk about Xander and Spike and between them they came up with some plans of their own to help bring those to lovers together. They even called Willow back and told her about some of their plans and she was so excited that they both want to help and she loved their plans and they all decided the next step of their plan would be pulled off the next night.

Spike laid on his bed and held the card in his hands. Running a thumb over the words with tears running down his face and hitting the pillow. He read the words over and over again till he had them memorized.

I don't have any words of poetry to tell you how I feel.
I can't put in to words how much I love you.
I don't think there is a word to describe it.
They all fail in comparison when I look at you.
I don't know when I fell in love with you.
I can't tell you the exact date and time.
I think when ever I woke up and actually looked at you.
The real you. All time stopped with my heart.
When my heart started to beat again.
I realized that whenever you were near it was beating faster.
I don't have any words of poetry to tell you how much I love you.
But to just say the words and hope you know they are true.
That they come straight from my fast beating heart.

With all my love,
Xander

Spike holding the card to his chest in a tight embrace and a single rose laying on the pillow next to his bed fell asleep with a smile on his face letting the tears dry on their own and the smell of two dozen red roses lure him in to a comforting slumber with dreams of a dark haired man loving him.

*****
Part 19:

The next morning Spike came in to the main lobby of the hotel and walked up to Cordelia's desk and grabbed the morning paper before he made his way to the kitchen to feed. Cordelia watching Spike make his way back out the door decided to follow him and see when he was leaving for Sunnydale.

" So when are you leaving?" Asked Cordelia when she walked in to the kitchen.

" Why trying to get rid of me?" Asked Spike as he throws a bag of blood in to the microwave.

" No I just thought you would be leaving for Sunnydale. Well as soon as the sunsets."

" Not leaving"

" What do you mean your not leaving? Oh you are going to ask Xander to come here? Cuz I have to tell you it might be hard with his job and all."

" No I'm not going to ask Xander to come here and I'm not going there."

" Why?"

" None of your business, princess. Now can we drop it?"

"No!"

" Well to bad luv. I'm not having this conversation with you."

Spike poured the bag of blood in to a mug and walked out the door to head back to his bedroom and to get away for Cordelia and her twenty questions. He laid back down on his bed and thought about how he came to be in L.A. He came here to find the author of that stupid book and ended up finding Xander instead. He was so happy to see Xander again but he knew they would never have any kind of future together. He was a bloody vampire for god sake and Xander was a sweet, sexy, gorgeous, loving mortal boy or man now. He had grown in to a beautiful man. His body was solid and hard and he had out grown most of his boyish looks in his face and now he is just gorgeous and warm. God was his body warm the feel of it press against his left him breathless. Not that he had to breath but damn that hard body was fantastic against his. Makes him feel hard just thinking about Xander grinding against him. His mouth was hot and wet devouring him and that tongue; damn he had dreams about that tongue in his mouth since he last seen Xander. Spike ran his hands over his face he didn't know what he was going to do. He wanted Xander so bad but he couldn't get himself to go to him. He didn't want to see him get hurt and if Spike was certain about one thing it was if he let himself get close to Xander then he would end up getting hurt and the way Spike saw it he would rather stake himself then let that happen. He loved Xander too much to go to him. He thought maybe if I just leave again then I wouldn't have to deal with it. But he made a stupid promise to his Sire that he would stay and help him with that stupid prophet that Angel found a few years ago. Angel told him that he thought the prophet was about him and three other warriors but at the moment Spike really didn't care he just wanted to get out of L.A. Hell that wasn't far enough maybe he would have to leave California. Shit maybe the States. Hell even that was still to close. Maybe he should call NASA and see if they have room on the next space shuttle and they can just leave his br to get as far away from Xander as he could get because he didn't think he could stay away much longer. Not lying on his bed thinking of Xander naked and moaning his name with his head tilted back exposing his neck to Spike as he fucked him seven times sideways till Tuesday. Nope not helping at all.

Spike laid in bed and brooded most of the day away. He knew that he was giving Angel competition now that he has a soul but this was hell. Any other time he was brooding over the people he killed and tortured and never spent too much time on just one thing since there was too many to brood over but this was insane. The only person he had thought about all week was Xander and his mouth and his hot body. Spike grabbed his pillow and laid it over his face and loudly growled into it in frustration.

Cordelia stood outside Spike's door holding a large package with a smile on her face and raising her small fist to knock on the door. Spike throw his pillow back on the bed and went to the door to tell how ever was interrupting his brooding to sod off.

" What do you want princess?" asked Spike when he swung open the door.

" A package just came for you and I just thought I would bring it up." Said Cordelia as sweetly as she could.

Spikes looked at the package like it would jump out of Cordelia's arms and bite him. He reached out and took it then turned around and shut the door in Cordelia's face not even saying thank you. He walked over to the bed and set the package down. He took a step back and just stared at the package a moment. It was beautifully wrapped with a red velvet ribbon wrapped a round a white box with a red velvet bow on top. Spike pulled on the red bow and carefully slid the ribbon off the white box then he slowly lifted the lid and set it a side. Inside the box laid a black tuxedo with a red cummerbund and white shirt. A small jewelry box laid on top next to an envelope. Spike picked up the jewelry box and opened the small box laid inside were golden cuff links. Spike lifted them up and with a small smile noticed that in the center of each cuff links was engraved a small railroad spike. Spike laid the cuff links back in to the box and pulled out a pair of the shiniest black shoes he had ever seen. He laid them on the bed beside the box then pulled out the envelope and broke open the seal to pull out the letter.

S,
Put on the tuxedo and be in front of the hotel at 10:00.
A limousine will pick you up and take you to your destination.
In the limousine will be another envelope with instructions.

X.

Spike looked up at the clock on the VCR and seen the time was nine o'clock. He only had an hour to take a shower and get ready. He hurried to the shower and tore off his black t-shirt and took off his black jeans. He turned on the water as hot as his body could stand it and jumped in. As he shampooed his hair his mind finally caught up with him. What the hell was he doing he couldn't do this. He was trying to keep Xander safe. And safe meant as far away from Spike as he could get the boy. Not put on a tux and go on a date with him Well I know what I will do I will just put on the tux and get in the limo and when I see Xander I will tell him that he has got to stop and that I don't want to see him. Nope don't want to see him in my bed naked and under me, tasting his warm skin and hearing him moan my name. Shit I'm in deep trouble thought Spike.

*****
tbc