POV: Spike

Spike's feelings toward Buffy escalated into new levels of hatred the next evening. As far as he was concerned, Buffy was lucky to still be alive, and if it weren't for the damned chip, she wouldn't be.

When Spike opened his eyes just shortly after sunset, he'd found Buffy crouching next to the satin-lined tomb-lid. The slayer had her favorite wooden stake in hand and proceeded to question Spike; what he thought he was doing in the crypt and not at Giles' or Xander's where he was supposed to be? And speaking of which, had he seen or heard from Xander? Willow was making noises about him missing or something, which with Xander was probably the case. Willow was getting all frantic and doomsy. Buffy wanted the witch to stop moping around as if she'd lost her best friend. Buffy was always right there.

Spike had never been more thankful for his ability to bluff his way out of a tight spot than he was at that moment. He had been honestly able to swear that there wasn't any word attached to a mortal fitting Xander's description floating around in the non-human population of Sunnydale. No, he hadn't seen or spoken to the Xander since leaving the "sarcastic wanker's before sunrise," but since he owed the Harris whelp, he'd keep his ear to the ground and let Buffy know if he did hear anything, it was the least he could do.

"Owe Xander for what?" Buffy had demanded to know in that "I'll stake you so fast the dust won't have time to settle," no-nonsense attitude she liked to practice on Spike.

Spike told her it had been Xander who'd given him the idea of taking over his current residence. Xander may have been being sarcastic, but he did have a point.

"Corpses belong in the cemetery, even if they are walking around trying to imitate life... or is it life imitating death, whatever." Xander's snide quip had turned out to be the perfect solution to Spike's current housing dilemma.

Somewhat mollified, Buffy had taken her stake and Spike's suggestion that she "go and poke it someplace useful besides me chest."

Having that damn chip in his head was the only thing keeping Spike from adding another notch to the slayer-post he carried around in his head. Spike promised himself that if he ever got rid of the chip, he was going to take a great deal of pleasure in killing this particular slayer. He'd had nothing personal against the other two, other than the fact that they were slayers; but things were different in this case; Xander had become a *personal* in Spike's eyes.

Spike was in love with Xander Harris, now wasn't that a kick in the head? Him, Spike, William the Bloody, the Big Bad, the Childe of Angelus - Scourge of Europe - in love with a sarcastic, goofy, beautiful mortal - Xander.

~I'd do anything for me pet, the lil' wanker~

But Spike had too many things working against his cause in Sunnydale. Spike wanted space to focus all his attention on Xander. He also wanted to remove all outside distractions so Xander wouldn't be focusing on anything except Spike. He convinced Xander they should take advantage of his current unemployment and get a head-start on the three-day weekend.

Spike wanted nightlife, real nightlife and "not the sad attempts made by this sodden dump of a town sitting on the edge of a Hellmouth". He wanted LA, where the parties didn't get started until well after midnight. LA was the city of dark angels and Spike wanted to rub elbows for a little while.

Xander really didn't want to go to Los Angeles, he'd never had any good experiences in the city, but then the same could be said for Sunnydale.

There was one difference though, there was no Angel in Sunnydale - there was in Los Angeles, and Xander didn't want to take the risk of running across Spike's Sire. There was this *Xander likes Buffy* thing in their uncomfortable past. It took a great deal of persuasion on Spike's part, but he finally managed to convince Xander that he could wait until they came back on Tuesday to start looking for another job and that LA was big enough to get lost in; it wasn't likely they'd run into *Peaches*.

"Come with me Xander, just for the weekend. Let me show you the world at night; the way it should be seen, the way I see it, through the eyes of an immortal."

Xander wanted to talk to Willow before running off. He realized he'd been unfair to the one person in all of Sunnydale who actually cared about his well-being, well outside of Spike, and he didn't want her to worry unnecessarily. Of course Spike thought it was one of the dumbest idea's Xander had ever had.

"You do realize the minute the slayer finds out you're in LA, she'll call the brood-king and ask him to find you right? And more than likely, she'll be on the next bus up there, trying to drag you back to SunnyHell as if she were your mother or something?"

Spike did have a point. When Xander thought about it, he realized that every time he'd had to go into LA for something, it had been either Giles or Buffy sending him. And, Buffy did act like she was everyone's mother, even Giles'. It was already a given that she would completely freak once she found out he was with Spike. It wouldn't make any difference that she didn't actually want Xander, but that he was no-longer hers to not want; that she no-longer held any special significance in the spectrum of his life. It wouldn't matter that Xander was practically an adult and capable of making his own decisions and conducting his life the way he wanted too. What would matter to Buffy was that Spike was a vampire, one without a soul - overlooking the fact that she'd dated Angel for at least a year.

~It were her whiney ass what drove the soul out, babbling bint~

"Hell Xan, it's already been three days? And not one of them has even bothered to stop by and see if you're still breathing. That's a really strong show of supportive friends."

"You don't understand, Spike,"

"Wrong Xander, I understand what's important, and you're what's important, your happiness. Nothing else matters outside of being happy and the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. Stop carrying a torch for the fucking slayer. She doesn't love you, I do. There's never going to be anything between you and the witch, if there was, then it would have happened already. She's not your type."

"And how the hell do you know what my type is?"

"Cause I'm it, pet. I'm your type. I'm what makes you hard, gets your blood pumping and your heart racing. Tell me I'm not. Tell me Xander and I'll walk out of here right now and never bother you again, if you can look me in my eye and tell me you don't feel the same way about me that I feel about you."

That had been yesterday's discussion. Today they were hitting the road and that's all Spike wanted to think about as he made his way across town to Xander's basement.

~~~~~
POV: Willow
~~~~~

Willow seemed to be the only one to notice that things were different, if either Buffy or Giles noticed, they gave no sign. Yesterday marked the third time in a row that Xander hadn't shown up.

In all honesty, the young witch really couldn't blame Xander for dropping the patrols; not with the way everyone had been acting lately. Maybe he finally decided to take the two-cents worth Buffy and her Watcher kept throwing back in the young man's face and use it for something practical, like enjoying his life for a change.

~But damn-it Xander, that's no reason to just shut me out and vanish~

Willow was quickly reaching the point where she had less and less time to waste on helping Buffy do her job, not with the way she was proceeding in her own leaps and bounds. She had already surpassed anything Giles was capable of but was too kind hearted to tell him. That's what she had been telling herself, but the reality was, Willow was just as shrewd as Giles. She was smart enough to apply that old adage - "you don't quit a job until you've got another one in your pocket" - to every practical situation. In this case, Willow wasn't going to say anything to the Watcher until she was certain she had found the right teacher, the one capable of guiding her to the next level - the biggest obstacle in her path was not having a clear idea of where to start looking, and Xander Harris.

Knowing that when, not if but when, she found the right instructor, Willow would be leaving Sunnydale for good, never to look back and that meant leaving Xander behind. Something she couldn't and wouldn't do unless she was certain that he was alright - would be alright.

Willow Rosenberg and Alexander Harris had grown up together. They had a history, a bond that was strong and lasting. It had to be, they practically lived on top of a Hellmouth - not of the good in any sense. Their bond had survived the arrival Buffy Summers, a troubling presence in their lives from the start; but Xander had been smitten with the blonde, or at least thought he had; Willow new better.

Willow knew Xander better than he knew himself or so she'd thought up until now. At that very moment Willow was sitting in her darkened dorm room staring into a shallow dish of water. She had no intention of telling either Buffy or Giles what she might discover; not after yesterday's revelations. Willow wasn't sure how they would react, but if she knew the slayer like she thought she did, then there was bound to be lots of un-happy feelings all around. Willow simply couldn't understand how Buffy could continue to believe that Xander was still even remotely interested in her considering the way she treated him.

Yesterday Willow had discovered some things about Buffy; things that didn't sit altogether well with the red-head. Willow hadn't liked the fact that Buffy had felt it necessary to question Giles about her when the slayer thought Willow wasn't listening. Willow had always known gossip-mongering was one of Buffy's inherent traits, hell, she and Xander had even contributed to it from time to time. What bugged Willow that most about it was her having overlooked the possibility that Buffy's strong feelings weren't directly sole at Xander, but anyone who wasn't on her level, her status - The Slayer.

~Oooh, shivers~

Not only had Willow noticed Xander's absence, but she had also noticed the absence of a certain blue-eyed, bleached-blonde menace answering to the name of 'Spike'.

Knowing Buffy wouldn't care one way or the other, Willow was the one to question Giles about the missing vampire. Giles had told her that he didn't know where Spike was and he really wasn't inclined to care all that much. It wasn't as if they had to worry about him hurting anyone, having the chip and all. In fact, Giles had been rather relieved when he'd sent Spike to spend the night at Xander's and Spike had refused; telling him he was getting tired of them treating him like a friggin yo-yo or an un-wanted alley cat, to be pawned off on the easiest sucker which always seemed to be the damned Harris whelp.

Spike had informed the Watcher that he was getting his own digs, and "the whole of SunnyHell could sod off for all I friggin care". He'd packed his stuff and left; that had been the last time Giles had seen the ungrateful little snot. He was glad Spike was no longer sleeping in his bathtub and leaving his empty blood-packs lying on the counter.

Willow wasn't as flighty and scattered as she led people to believe, just like Xander wasn't what people thought he was either, nor were either of them stupid by any means. Although, Willow was a bit irritated with herself that it had taken her this long to put 2 and 2 together and come up with Spike and Xander.

~Why didn't I see this~

When Xander hadn't shown up after loosing his job, Willow made herself a promise to go to his house the next morning and check on him. She hadn't been able to do that because she'd gotten distracted dealing with Cassandra, the unreasonable idiot responsible for overseeing the dorm where Willow's room was, and her councilor who refused to listen to the list of complaints she had against the other girl.

Since she'd missed classes the day before, Willow didn't want to miss them two days in a row and her summation was do for presentation - meaning she'd have to wait and hope Xander appeared that evening. He hadn't.

Her inattentions plagued the young witch; she wasn't normally this oblivious to the vibrations around her. Willow calmed her self-irritation when the water in the chalice rippled and the image she was scrying tried to break up. Willow cast another look at the warded door then closed her green eyes and let her head roll gently to the right, then back and around until she'd made a complete circuit - releasing tension and pent up energies. Energies she directed down into the wavering image of Spike and Xander.

~~~~~

Xander-sex possibilities list

1 pack of Red Vine licorice ropes

1 bottle of chocolate syrup (squeezable)

1 paint brush (fine-tip, soft bristle) / feather

Xander looked down at his list once more then folded the paper and stuck it in the back pocket of his blue jeans. Xander was devising a little scenario for a Xander-sex encounter. He planned to tie Spike up with the licorice ropes and then use the paint brush to paint Spike's body with chocolate syrup.

The object of this particular encounter was to see how many of the ropes he could make Spike break before Xander made him cum. He still hadn't worked out the mechanics of a scoring system/penalties for the broken lengths of edible rope, but there was still time for that.

Spike sat straddling a corner at the foot of Xander's bed, admiring the way the jeans fit the young man. There was only enough space in the back pocket for the folded piece of paper and nothing else. Well maybe a hand, his hand to be exact, Spike thought while eyeing the faded blue denim riding low on Xander's hips; hugging his ass and thighs and cupping his groin in an inviting package. They were definitely going to have to stock up on more jeans like this.

Spike had arrived at the basement shortly after sunset, anxious to collect his Xan-pet and get the hell out of dodge before anything else happened to spoil his plans. So far, he was managing to keep one step ahead of the scoobies, but after the encounter with Buffy, Spike didn't trust his luck to keep holding up.

Of course Xander hadn't been ready to leave and Spike had been forced to re-assure the mortal again, that there wasn't the slightest possibility of them running across *Peaches*. Now he was waiting for Xander to stop stalling with his silly list and get his ass in gear.

Spike's eyes roamed over said ass again. Yep, they were definitely going to have to invest in lots of jeans that *fit*.

When he arrived, Spike found Xander wearing a pair of last year's jeans. They were soft, old, and faded in all the right places. Spike particularly liked the fact that they were maybe half a size too small for Xander since he'd gained a bit more muscle-tone and weight from the various manual-labor odd jobs he landed.

Xander told him they were his 'cleaning the basement jeans'. Since they were so old and too small, Xander wouldn't be caught dead wearing them in public. At one time they had been a favorite pair and he was still loath to toss them in the trash so he used them just for cleaning the basement.

It took Spike ten minutes to convince Xander to put the jeans back on after he'd taken a quick shower.

"Hurry up, whelp," Spike griped from where he sat watching Xander stuff his wallet inside the inner pocket of his jacket.

"Alright, Spike, anxious much?" Xander continued to take his time, "LA isn't going anywhere and like you said, I haven't got a job at the moment so, what's the rush?"

"Xan-pet..."

"I really should be looking for another job, not running off to LA with you."

"Oh come on, Xan, not that again. Look, there's time for that later,"

"Of course you would say that, it's not like you have to work for a living or anything."

"You could have that life too luv, then you wouldn't have to worry about trivial things like looking for a stupid job."

"Spike, get serious,"

Xander crossed the space between the dresser and the bed. He was close enough for Spike to reach out and snag a belt-loop on the back of the tight Levi's he had on.

Spike pulled Xander into the space between his legs and turned the mortal around to face him. He held Xander lightly by the waist and looked up into the boy's kaleidoscope eyes - eyes that changed in a constant display of intensity and emotions moving within their chocolate depths.

"Xander, I am serious. I'm not joking around about this... I've never made a Childe before; never had the desire. Vampires are solitary creatures by nature, and outside of Dru, there's never been anyone I've loved enough to want to spend the rest of my life with."

Xander could only stand there, watching and listening. The light grip on his waist turned slightly desperate.

Spike took a deep breath.

"Until now."

Xander didn't know how to take the words, the declaration. No-one had ever felt that way about him before, not that he knew of, not this intensely. He was overwhelmed.

"Spike... I don't know what to say, this is... is..."

Xander stopped speaking and just looked down into Spike's intense blue eyes. He'd seen a lot of things in those eyes but nothing came close to what he was seeing now. It was like having some kind of magic sight or something - allowing him to see into Spike, see Spike's demon, looking back at him; both of them speaking sincere words from the heart.

"Spike, I need time. To think about this. It's all going so fast, don't push, let me catch up."

"I know, Xan, I'm sorry. I don't' mean to rush your decision, it's just that I don't want to loose you. The thought of loosing you scares the hell out of me, I don't know what I'd do if that happened."

"Can we not talk about this right now, please?" Xander asked. He wasn't ready to deal with this yet.

"Sure luv," Spike told him, sliding his hands down over the soft material to cup Xander's buttocks and pull him forward so that Xander's knees bumped the side of the bed and he tumbled forward, "we can talk about these jeans..."

Spike was lying on his back with Xander stretched out on top of him. There angular hips pressed together, grinding their bundled crotches intimately, sending little tickles of arousal through them.

Xander's white t-shirt pulled free and rode up to expose the skin of his lower back and Spike slid his fingers over the warm expanse of flesh, lightly tracing the ridges of Xander's spine and hipbone.

Xander nudged his groin into Spike's, his legs urging Spike's to part so he could get their bulges closer.

"...or, we could talk about Xander-sex?" Spike whispered when Xander dipped his head forward to lick at Spike's lips until they parted and allowed him in.

Spike sucked on Xander's tongue, the sensation of their lips sliding together felt like silk and Xander's little movements on top of him made his dick twitch in the confines of his jeans. Spike moaned softly into Xander's ear as the other attacked his earlobe and the sensitive spot just below it - hot wet tongue against his slightly cold skin. Xander's teeth grazed the skin there lightly, rousing the demon already so close to the surface.

Spike's fingers worried at the small gap between Xander's waistband and the curve of his back, delving under the snug material and sending shivers up and down Xander's back.

Xander raised his head and grinned down at Spike, "maybe, hey! Get out of there!" he admonished, rolling away from the fingers trying to get at the slip of folded paper in his back pocket.

Spike rolled with him, landing on top of Xander, "tease," he muttered kissing Xander.

"I told you," Xander breathed as Spike attacked his neck, "Xander-sex... um, show later, ohh."

Spike was returning the favor and teasing Xander with long slow swipes of his tongue along the boy's neck. Xander arched his head back into the mattress exposing his tender flesh to the slightly raspy tongue.

"Mmm, salty-goodness," Spike whispered while trailing his tongue up to Xander's strong jaw and back down along the curve into his shoulder.

Xander closed his eyes, turning his head and arching up into the touch. He made a mewling sound in his head at the sensations spreading through him and pulled at Spike's clothing, his hardness.

He wormed a hand between them and undid a couple of the buttons at Spike's fly. His heated fingers edged under the black waistband; his hands sliding over the cool flesh. Xander liked the way Spike's skin felt against his palms as he gripped the cool globes of Spike's ass - kneading and stroking, palming and grasping greedily.

Spike's fangs grazed the sensitive skin at the base of Xander's neck, the ache in his cock intensified at the sweaty heat of Xander's hands on his ass, urging his humping motions to provide more friction.

Xander was driving him crazy. Hot hands, fingers; digging into the muscles of his ass. Xander's hips rolling up to meet Spike's; his blood calling out to be sampled. Spike groaned. He wanted Xander so badly, wanted to be inside his heat.

The boy's responsive movements under him, against him; were tempting with their promise of the actuality. Spike wanted Xander rolling up to meet the slide of his pale length delving into gripping heat.

Spike sucked on the skin, pulling the blood to the surface in a dark purple bruise. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the taste of Xander's skin, the intoxicating scent of his blood, the soft whimpering moan as he nuzzled the bruise and pressed his razor-sharp fangs into the soft ripeness.

~~~~~
POV: Xander
~~~~~

"GET OFF!"

"Wot?" Spike's eyes blinked open.

"Get the FUCK OFF!" Xander shoved Spike as hard as he could, knocking him to the floor.

Spiked scrambled to his feet. A mixture of confusion and irritation warred across his face.

"Wot!? Wo-"

"You Bit me!"

"I did not!"

"I should have known! Stupid Xander, how could I have been so blind?"

"Xander, wot,"

Xander's hand flashed up to the bruise on his neck, his fingers came away smeared with blood. He stared at his hand in horror then looked up into Spike's equally horrified face.

"Xan-pet, I didn't mean to," Spike was trying to stammer out.

"You bit me, Spike. Fangs. Breaking Skin. Blood?!" Xander roared, not caring who heard him. "What do you mean you didn't mean to, you're pathetic; I don't even know why I like you. Just go away."

"Wot!?"

"You heard me, Spike, go away; just go. I can't deal with you right now."

Spike couldn't believe this, he had been so damn close and now everything was falling apart.

"Xander,"

"Fuck you, just get out, you liar!"

"I never lied to you Xander."

"You're lying right now. I know, Spike, I know everything. Did you really think I was that stupid? You're no better than Buffy."

"Wot do you think you know?"

Xander gave him a cold stare. It struck something inside the vampire; he'd never seen that kind of look on Xander's face before. Was Xander pissed? He had to be, because he was getting vocal, he wouldn't get vocal if he were angry.

Xander clenched his fist then. His body shook with the intensity of his emotions.

"How long did you say Giles' house guest was staying?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Answer the question, or are you afraid?"

"I don't remember."

"Yeah, right. First it was a couple of days, now you don't remember? You lied and you're too stupid to keep your lies straight, that's why you can't remember. Just like a demon, all lies. I told you, Spike, I'm not stupid. I know my friends don't care about me, if they did then they wouldn't risk my life by asking me to harbor a blood-thirsty demon."

"I'm not,"

Xander waved his bloody hand in Spike's direction before wiping the blood off on the white t-shirt.

"Yeh, you are, now shut the fuck up and listen. You're a killer by nature, Spike, it can't be helped. You are your demon, plain and simple. The point is this; you aren't the only killer in my life, Spike. There are two people, living right up stairs as a matter of fact, who are way ahead of you. They may not have fangs, or dine on blood, but believe me when I tell you they are two of the blood-thirsty-ist killers in my little world right now, you're second rate. Take a number and get in line. Everyday of my life is a crash-fuckin-course on staying alive."

Xander stopped. He didn't understand what had happened, what was happening. Why were all these words coming out? He dragged in a deep breath then continued, unable to stop once the damn had burst.

"Oh, by the way, this is Xander on anger... such a terrible thing to waste; bet you never thought that'd happen, huh? Surprise, Spike."

"Xander,"

"SHUT UP! Don't say anything. I don't want to hear any more of your honey-coated lies, who do you think you're fooling? Who are you trying to convince, Spike, me or yourself? You love me? Yeah, right. You'd love to drain me is more like it. Is that how it is Spike? Is that it? You want to fuck me and then drain me, or do both at the same time?"

Xander stalked back and forth in a tight circle, not looking at the vampire as he got all of this, this - whatever it was - out of his system. He had been holding it all in for so long now. This was why he got quiet when he was angry; it was during these times that he was willing to tell you exactly what was really on his mind. It was times like now, when he was just tired and fed up, and to the point where he felt like things couldn't get any worse and he had nothing else to loose, that Xander allowed himself to speak the unblemished truth - put his cards on the table.

"I know Buffy and Giles don't give a rat's ass about me, hell if they did they wouldn't pawn your sorry ass off on me! It wouldn't make a difference if they knew what my life was really like or not. Willow knows, and that's why I was upset with her. But that was only until I figured out she didn't even know, didn't know that Giles' was having his orgasm-buddy up for a visit - didn't know they were planning on sticking me to baby-sit your ass again. If she'd known you wouldn't have gotten so far, it wouldn't have taken me so long to figure it all out."

"You're right,"

"I fuckin know I am, don't patronize me. I told you to shut up. You either shut up, and listen, or get the fuck out, either way is fine with me... I'm waiting,"

Spike held up his hands in appeasement. He couldn't believe this was happening. He was in shock. Spike sat back down on the edge of the bed. His pale hand kept moving to his mouth, pressing against his lips where he could still feel the tingly taste of Xander's blood.

"Giles is having company; Spike can't be there, understandable. Buffy is the slayer, she hates Spike with a passion, no matter how much she may still thinks she loves his Sire, there's only so much she's willing to do, so, Spike definitely can't stay at Buffy's. The solution, send him to Xander, again. Xander can keep Spike, so what if his parents are drunks and try to beat him to death on a regular basis just on G.P., he won't mind risking his life to make ours easier.

And you being the soulless bastard that you are took advantage of that. Why? Was it just to fuck with my head? Have a bit of fun at Xander's expense? Let's turn Xander's life upside down and inside-out, he's confused, it should be easy. Yeah, well fuck you and the horse you rode in on! If you just wanted to fuck and bite me, Spike, why didn't you just come out and say it? Why play all these games? Like you actually fucking cared!?"

Tears were streaming down his face now as Xander faced Spike across the room.

~Why am I crying? It's not like I care~

"Go, Spike."

"Xander, can't we talk about this, please?" Spike was desperate. This was all wrong, it wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to show up at sunset and collect his Xan-pet and then they were supposed to go to LA and have three days away from everything and everyone, that's how it was supposed to go.

"I'm through talking. I've said everything that I need to say. Either you leave or I will."

"I'm not leaving Xander, not without you."

"Fine,"

Xander grabbed his jacket and started for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Why do you care? Just don't be here when I get back, Spike. Go to LA and enjoy the nightlife."

Xander had his foot on the first step, about to move up to the next. Spike spoke again. His voice was tired, as if all the fight had been stripped out of him, drained like when Angelus had swallowed the last drop of human blood coursing through his mortal veins.

"How?"

"How what?" Xander questioned back from where he stood. He was facing out into the cool night, staring at the stars dancing in their endless cycles over-head. He wouldn't look at Spike, couldn't look at him right then. It hurt too much.

~Why? Why does this hurt? Spike's a demon who just wants to fuck with my head, fuck me through the mattress and if possible, suck out my life. In any way he can manage~

"How did you find out?"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not, but,"

"Fine, I'll tell you. Sure you want to know?"

"I asked didn't I? Yes, I want to know."

"You told me, Spike, just now."

Xander shook his head and climbed the stairs leading from the basement. Spike rose from the bed and walked over to stand in the doorway. From here he couldn't see Xander so he moved up to the top of the stairs and looked around. There was no sign of Xander; he'd vanished into the night, gone and Spike didn't know what to do.

~~~~~

Willow felt terrible after witnessing the awful fight between Xander and Spike. She was miserable with the knowledge that Xander had been going through that all alone.

Sure, it wasn't her fault that Spike had been sent to Xander's, giving him this opportunity to carry out his little plan; whatever it was. She hadn't been there when it had happened, and what would she have been able to do anyway? Xander kept allowing Buffy and Giles to impose and infringe on his life, and as long as he allowed it then it was bound to continue.

Willow now understood why she hadn't heard from Xander in all this time. Xander had been right about everything he'd just said; was probably hurt that none of his friends had noticed his absence - she had. Spike was lying to everyone. He'd lied to Giles and Buffy. Willow didn't really care about that anymore. Spike had lied to Xander. Willow cared about that. She also cared about the fact that she had been so busy in the past couple of days; she hadn't had time for Xander.

She would make time. Right now. She was going out there right now to find Xander. There was no telling what he might do in his current state of mind.

Willow quickly put away her tools - pouring the water into the window-box garden so her herbs and other plants could benefit from the energies imbuing the liquid. The chalice, candles and other items were returned to the small trunk which was heavily warded with magic before being shoved back under the bed.

Grabbing her sweater, Willow hastily left her dorm in search of Xander.

*****
Part 7:

�Hey Wills,� Xander said softly without looking up.

�Hey Xan,� Willow replied, her voice as soft as his had been. She brushed a hand across his shoulders and moved to sit in the swing next to his.

Their feet no longer dangled in the air like when they were kids. They were adults now with both feet planted on solid ground.

Then why did it feel as though Xander were sinking in quicksand?

�Guess you saw, huh?� It wasn�t really a question; she wouldn�t have been able to find him otherwise.

�Yeh,� Willow looked up into the night sky. She pushed off with her foot,her swing matching the lazy back and fort of the swing next to her. �I�m sorry.�

�You would have picked right then to look,� Xander snorted, he hadn�t looked from the sandy gravel under them yet.

�Xander,� Willow�s tone bordered on exasperation, �because it hasn�t been four days since you lost your job and I've seen or heard from you maybe."

They fell silent then. Xander taking a small measure of comfort in her presence, Willow taking comfort in just being there.

�Want to tell me what happened?�

�You saw what happened. Spike bit me.�

�No Xander that�s not what I saw. I saw the two of you making really cute feel-goods and then you getting the wiggins. What happened?�

�Told you, he bit me Wills look.� Xander pulled the collar of his jacket down to expose his neck. Willow eyed the passion-bruise; there were two tiny holes near the center.

�Xander,� she sighed, her tone soft.

�Huh?� Xander was putting the collar of his jacket back in place. His fingers brushed the sensitive bruise making him shiver.

�Xander please look at me,� Willow begged. For a moment she thought he wouldn�t but then his head turned toward her and she could see the tears. Xander had been silently crying since he�d left the basement.

�Xander, Spike still has the chip...�

Xander scowled, �So?�

�So,� Willow said letting impatience color her tone, �the chip makes it impossible for him to hurt human-type people, Xander. He can�t even defend himself.� Willow debated how far she should push him, �Or did you conveniently forget that?�

�No I didn�t but he bit me,� Xander snapped and scrubbed at his damp face.

�You keep saying that Xander.�

Xander glanced up at her about to respond but she continued to speak, her tone urging him to be reasonable.

�Sorry, but you do keep repeating the obvious. Stop a minute and think about what you�re saying. What that means?�

Xander lowered his gaze to the sand beneath them. He watched it come to a stop under his slowing swing. When he didn�t say anything for several minutes Willow sighed and spoke again.

�Don�t shut me out, talk to me Xander please.� Xander remained silent. �You�re being silly Xander. You know Spike couldn�t have bit you unless you wanted him too.�

The fear returned, flooding through him with the same intensity as before; brought on by the exquisite sensation of Spike touching him. Kissing and licking and then biting.

~Oh God the biting~

His body remembered the way it felt. A wash of heat made his skin flushed; his palms damp. Xander�s heart-rate accelerated driving his blood like liquid fire through veins too small to contain it. The sense of dissolving, flowing away to someplace he�d never been made him weak. His hands gripped the chains of the swing.

Willow watched enthralled as Xander swayed in his seat. A fine sheen of sweat beaded across his full upper lip and a deep blush crept from under his collar; crawling across his neck and ears before edging along his jaw then swirling a slow burn in his cheeks.

For a moment Willow thought he was sick and faint when his head fell back. Xander�s lips parted as she started to reach for him and her hand froze when the tip of his tongue snaked along the beading sweat. He moaned and shifted in the swing drawing Willow�s eyes to his crotch.

~Goddess~

Then she snickered and broke the spell. �So that�s what caused the wiggins, oh Xan,� she snickered again.

Xander snapped out of his trance. His head lurched forward and his dilated eyes popped open. �Wot huppend?� he stuttered as came back to himself, then he groaned. He stole a glance at Willow who sat watching him with the light of the full moon glittering in her eyes. She could see he was in anguish over what had just happened.

�Are you alright?�

He stared at her a minute, his eyes wide and dazed. Then he crumpled. His face twisted and the tears started flowing again.

�I can�t explain it. It was so intense. It felt like I was dying and being born at the same time. I could hear the world breathing. I don�t know. I felt like I was loosing myself. Flowing away to someplace terrifying and I felt so weak and helpless and good and I don�t know. But I wanted it Wills I wanted to go there and never come back.�

It came out in a panting rush; gasping sobs from deep in his chest. Willow reached for him, leaning over to meet his slumping form. They hugged each other tightly and Willow stroked his hair.

�Xander, Xander,� she murmured. �I think that�s love honey. I think Spike has always had strong feelings for you and I think you feel the same way. All that hostility and male testosterone the two of you have.�

�He�s a demon Will, fangs no heartbeat can�t do sunlight,� Xander said raising his head to look at her.

�Are you sure because that sounds like a vampire to me,� she reached out to stroke his cheek brushing away teardrops with her thumb. Xander tilted his head into her palm.

�He�s a liar.�

�Well duh.�

�And he b-�

�Xander Harris if you say �he bit me� one more time I�ll-I�ll turn your hair green, again.�

Xander smiled remembering the time she�d tried to dye his hair and turned it green.

�Spike�s feelings for you are real. He does care.�

Xander snorted and looked away. His dark gaze moved over the shadowy outlines of the merry-go-round and a few rocker-rabbit thing-a-ma-bobs. He sighed and turned away from the monkey-bars to look at Willow.

�Its not like you didn�t know he follows us around when we go out on patrols.�

�No, I didn�t.�

�Well he does.�

They looked around expecting to see Spike lurking in the shadows nearby. �Most of the time anyway. Guess not tonight.�

�Good.�

�No Xander, not good. You�re scared and hurting and Spike must be feeling the same way. I know what I saw. I should be having wiggins but I�m not. I saw two people in love then one freaked out for a minute. You can�t leave it like that.�

�Why can�t I? When did the rules change and I wasn�t looking?�

�Xander don�t do that. Do you want to leave it like this? Do you want to keep on feeling the way you do?�

He looked away

~Eternity. Never growing old while the people I love will. And then they�ll die. And what if Drusilla decides to come back? Spike still loves her. What do I do?~

�Xander stop thinking so much. Stop thinking and feel for once. You know I love and want you to be happy. If being with Spike makes you happy then you should do it.�

Xander looked at her then with a quizzical expression.

�What are you saying?�

�I think I�m saying the two of you looked like you were getting ready to go away for the weekend or something, you should do that. You should go and talk to Spike, tell him how you fell. Then go take that trip and just feel for a while.�

�I don�t know.�

�Yes, you do.�

�But what if,�

�If the two of you can�t get past this then it should be over. It won�t be the only disagreement the two of you will have. Go home and talk then take things from there.�

�Yeah, you�re right.�

Willow smiled at him as she stood up. Xander hopped out of his swing and landed in front of her.

�I�ll walk you back to your dorm.�

�No I�m good. You just go talk to Spike.�

Xander stepped forward and wrapped her in a quick hug. He had that quirky lopsided grin plastered on his face when he stepped back.

�Thanks love, what would I do without you?�

�Please let�s not get into that again. Go home Xander,� Willow laughed. She planted a kiss on his cheek and turned to leave. �Call me and let me know either way, and I love those jeans,� Willow told him as she left the playground.

Xander stood watching until she was out of sight and then he sighed. Xander moved to shove his hands into his pockets and missed. He looked down to see how he could have missed his pockets and chuckled at Willow�s parting comment. He shook his head at himself as he looked at the blue jeans clinging to him.

~how could I have let him talk me into wearing these things to LA~

�She has a point.�

Xander yelped and jumped into the air turning around to face the direction the voice had come from. He reached out to steady himself with the swing chain.

Spike was leaning against a tree not too far from where Xander and Willow had been talking. He struck a match and lit his cigarette. Tossing the match aside he exhaled a plume of smoke.

Xander�s heart slowed from its 100-miles-a-minute thumping when he saw it was only Spike.

�Ho-how long have you been there?� Xander wanted to know.

�Long enough,� Spike replied. He took another drag from his cigarette his eyes never leaving Xander�s.

They stood that way while Spike took a couple more drags. Neither of them spoke.

�Are we going to do this all night?�

�That depends on you now doesn�t it?�

They watched each. Spike puffed once more.

�I�m sorry,� Xander said.

Spike tossed the rest of the smoke off into the shrubs. �Yeah me too pet. Now can we get on the road? There�s not a lot of nighttime left and the sun�s gonna be rising soon, innit?�

*****
Part 8:

With Spike behind the wheel Xander was too afraid to close his eyes. He cast a nervous glance at the road ahead of them then looked over at Spike.

�You�re going to kill us if you don�t slow down,� Xander told him. If Spike would just slow down then he could close his eyes for maybe five minutes instead of keeping them wide open.

�Would you rather wait til the friggin sun�s full up? If you survive the wreck what are ya gonna say when the bleeding cops wanna know why there�s a pile of ash behind the wheel and you�re strapped in the passenger seat?�

Xander couldn�t argue with that. Muttering under his breath he let his head settle against the headrest.

~Ten minutes, I�ll wake up in ten minutes~

Spike kept dividing his attention between the road and Xander and casting looks at the sky every now and then.

~Oi, cutting it close~

Spike looked at the sleeping mortal and shook his head. At first he wasn�t going to go after the whelp and it took him ten minutes to finally locate Xander when he did.

He hadn�t meant to bite his pet; he�d just gotten caught up in the fantasy. Then Xander had gone friggin bonkers spinning Spike off balance and he�d let Xander walk out.

When he found Xander, Spike was still trying to decide what to do. Then Willow had appeared and took the decision out of his hands. Spike now saw Willow from a different perspective. He kicked himself for being blind. If Willow and Willow were best friends and there was more to the young man than he allowed others to see why not Willow?

When the witch arrived the vampire�s first impulse had been to rush out and claim what was his. Xander was his no matter what the mortal said. They both knew the truth. The taste of Xander�s blood on his lips told him. Xander had given his blood freely. Spike was determined not to let the events overshadow their weekend. This was their chance to be together away from the others and the drama.

~My Mate~

Thinking about it sent shivers of heat through Spike. He checked the road again and adjusted himself in his jeans while casting another look at Xander.

If Xander had seen the smile on Spike�s face at that moment he would swear the vampire had finally lost his mind.

Spike reached into the backseat and riffled through their bag. He came close to swerving off the road when he turned around to examine the bundle of material in his hand. After that he simply pulled the items into his lap and as long as it wasn�t anything he personally cared about it went fluttering out the window.

He decided the cargo pants and loud shirts were history. If Xander didn�t have the awful rags then he couldn�t hurt anyone�s eyes with them and Spike was doing a good thing.

~Oi, jeans, nice-n-tight for me nummy-treat~

They finally made it to the small hotel and Spike stashed his car in the alley around the corner. He nudged Xander awake and they rushed into the safety of the dim lobby as the sun�s rays broke over the city.

With their last dregs of energy Spike went into the bathroom and pulled down the shower curtain. Xander grabbed the extra blanket and helped Spike secure them over the closed curtains. Spike tossed their bag on one of the small chairs and flopped down on the bed.

He watched Xander stumble into the bathroom and shut the door. Several minutes later the toilet flushed and he could hear the sound of running water then Xander was returning to flopped down next to him.

�We should go to bed.� Xander used the last of his energy to toe off his worn sneakers.

�Umm-hmm,� Spike mumbled.

~~~~~

The next evening they put the shower curtain back so they wouldn�t soak the bathroom floor.

When Spike came out of the bathroom he was greeted with the sight of Xander dumping the content of their bag onto the bed. The naked young man stared at the rolled up socks black t-shirts and black jeans. There was no sign of the clothes he�d placed inside the bag; no boxer shorts cargo pants or button down Hawaiian print shirts. Not a sign. The clothes on the bed belonged to Spike.

�Wot�s the matter Xan-pet,� Spike asked innocently as he moved up behind the naked young man and wrapped his arms around his pet. Spike licked a trail along Xander�s arched neck while sliding his hands down his flat stomach.

Xander remembered what he�d been doing and slipped away, �Don�t, I can�t think when you do that,� Xander said absently. He started picking at the bundle of black material on the bed.

�Oh really now,� Spike husked slipping up behind Xander again. He pressed the buttons of his crotch against Xander�s buttocks.

Xander bucked his hips and Spike let out a pained groan, �Why ya wanna go and do that for, pet?�

�Told you I couldn�t think when you were doing that sorry,� Xander grinned and snagged the yellow boxers Spike had missed.

Cursing softly Spike watched Xander pull the ugly yellow boxers up his legs and then obstruct his view of perfection as the boy let the elastic waistband snap against his skin. Xander turned around to face the slightly shorter man.

�Spike where are my clothes?�

�And you�re asking me this because?�

�Cuz they were in that bag when we left Sunnydale and now they�re not,� Xander narrowed his eyes, �did you throw my clothes away?�

�Now why would I go and do something mental like that?�

�I don�t know, um maybe you had this planned from the beginning. Throw out Xander�s clothes and keep him naked in the hotel all weekend?�

�Hmm, no I hadn�t thought of that but it�s a good idea, innit?� Spike leered and licked his lips, �better when you loose these bloomers,� he finished reaching out to tug on the shorts. Xander stepped back out of reach.

�Yeah, it is but I want my clothes Spike. Really, where are they?�

"I donated them to the highway.�

Xander stared at Spike for a minute trying to figure out what he meant. Then he swore. �You Prick! You threw my clothes out on the freeway?�

�Xander those weren�t clothes they were painful and I�m not gonna let you hurt yourself, pet.�

�So I�m supposed to just wear this?� he slapped at his boxers then sat down and grabbed a pair of socks.

�Like I said, pet, I don�t mind,� Spike told him.

�And the police won�t either maybe. I can�t believe you did that.�

�Quit whining and put the blue jeans on, pet, we�re gonna get ya some new threads, we are.�

Xander didn�t have choice. It was either go shopping with Spike or sit around in the only pair of boxers he still owned.

Spike took his pet to the demon version of Salvation Army. Xander watched while humans, vampires, demons and other creatures of the night sifted through the bins and racks of recycled clothing. Spike told him this was the perfect place for jeans. The kind of jeans Spike liked to see hugging Xander�s ass. Old, soft, and faded along the crotch and back pockets � preferably Levi�s 501�s since Spike loved button fly jeans.

From there they went to the blood bank where Xander waited near the side entrance while Spike went in and �had a real meal for a change,� or as close as he could get without debilitating pain from trying to drain a human.

Spike knew someone at almost every one of the strange places he took Xander; someone who owed him a favor and the Big Bad had come to collect.

�Yeah, I can be generous and take it in trade; see anything you like Xan-pet?�

Blue was nice but Spike had a penchant for black and Xander in black 501�s did things to Spike; they did things to Xander too when he tried them on inside the Levi�s Superstore Spike had broken into.

The thing that disturbed Xander the most was none of it disturbed him in the least. None of his little voice-of-reason alarms went off to nag him with a guilty conscious about shopping in closed stores. No sarcastic remarks about Spike�s eating habits at the blood bank, Spike did have to eat after all, what was the big deal?

When it came down to shirts they agreed to disagree. Spike liked Xander in form-fitting ribbed tee-shirts and Xander insisted on wearing an undershirt. Spike picked out a couple shirts he liked and then sat back watching his pet carefully pick out and match sets of solid colored shirts with slightly longer undershirts in complimentary lighter shades. The few times Spike had seen Xander try and pull off the layered look had been a complete bust but the look was working now. Spike liked the way the two shirts hung flattering Xander�s broad chest and shoulders.

They were in the leather store when it happened. Spike�s first encounter with Xander-sex.

Xander turned away from the triple-mirror and his three reflections gracing Spike with a nice frontal view of his Xan-pet snuggled up in black jeans and leather motorcycle jacket. Spike really liked the bonus of three views of Xander�s incredible ass.

There was a heated glitter in Xander�s dark eyes as he walked over to where Spike was casually leaning against the door to the dressing room. Without uttering a word Xander grabbed Spike by the shoulders and pressed him back against the mirrored door and into the small changing stall. He attacked Spike with demandingly hot kisses, biting and sucking on Spike�s lips while grinding their crotches together in sensual movements until Spike thought he�d come from that simple pleasure alone.

Xander kept him hanging until Spike�s un-needed breathing became ragged. Xander pulled the duster off Spike�s shoulders and halfway down his arms effectively limiting the vampire�s movements. His hands burned over Spike�s skin as he pulled the t-shirt free and stroked up his cool sides bunching the shirt into his armpits and exposing his pink nipples.

Xander attacked the pink nubs with his white teeth and fingers simultaneously; scraping and gnawing them into painfully hard peaks with his teeth while he gently rolled the other nipple between his hot fingers.

Not willing to tear his duster apart Spike kept his arms at his sides where Xander wanted them. He squirmed and moaned swirling in the pleasure Xander was giving him; humping his confined hardness against the corded thigh Xander had pressed against it.

�Aahh, Xan-pet you�re driving me outta me head already,�

�Good now hush I�m busy,� Xander growled into his belly as he slid down Spike�s lean frame and settled on his knees. His hands stayed on Spike�s chest titillating his sensitive nipples while he drilled his tongue into the cold navel.

Spike�s hips jerked when Xander closed his mouth over the top button on his jeans and he moaned at the loss of attention to his nipples when Xander moved his hands down to grip his bucking hips.

Xander angled his head so he could look up into Spike�s face while he continued to mouth the buttons. Their eyes locked and Spike discovered Xander had a thing for button flies as well. He wondered where Xander had learned to do this.

~He better not ever do this with anyone else~

Spike let out a hiss and the damp spot in his jeans got darker when Xander snaked his tongue into the opening he�d created. He�d mouthed open enough buttons to further tease but not free Spike�s aching member.

Xander continued to hold Spike�s hips while teasing the exposed flesh of his pale erection with the tip of his tongue until Spike was squirming.

�What are you doing?� Spike whined as Xander undid the last couple of buttons and nuzzled in.

�Xander-sex, now quit distracting me,� Xander mumbled from where he had his mouth pressed into the flesh near the base of Spike�s bobbing cock. Xander mouthed and tongued the soft curly dark-blonde hair until it was damp with his saliva. Then he kissed a light trail up one side of Spike�s cock and down the other ignoring the angry pink head.

Using his hands for something other than holding Spike still Xander gripped the waistband of Spike�s jeans and pulled them down to rest just under his ass. Spike whined in frustration as Xander gripped the back of the jeans and used them to keep his thighs from spreading any further and freeing his tightening scrotum completely. His whine turned guttural when Xander began to tongue his balls; liking and applying gentle suction until he had them in his wide mouth � rolling around on that wet hot pink tongue Xander was using to torture him.

Spike�s head banged against the thin wood of the dressing room door knocking the mirror from its stable anchoring to thump to the thick carpet outside. Xander tightened his lips around the squirming sac and gave a little tug. Spike�s head banged again and he released several jets of cold glittering come.

A few dribbles landed on Xander�s forehead. He sat back on his heels and wiped the cool wetness away. His mesmerizing eyes remained locked on Spike holding him frozen while Xander slowly brought the fingers to his lips and licked them clean with a lingering tongue swipe.

Spike watched Xander�s tongue snake across his fingers and then back into his incredibly talented mouth. Xander�s dark eyes glowed softy into Spike�s while he experienced his first taste of his lover and then he was wrapping his fingers around Spike�s still erect cock and taking the head into his greedy mouth.

Spike closed his eyes and let the sensations sweep through him until his knees got weak enough to buckle.

That, his lover had explained on the way back to their hotel room, was Xander-sex. It would happen when you least expected it and it didn�t matter where you happened to be.

Spike wondered if he was going to go mad anticipating the next encounter.

~~~~~

Xander looked down at the items in his basket and headed for the �Cookies & Chips� aisle. There was only one more item he needed and he�d have to find an art-supply store for that, he decided as he consulted the list before folding it away in the back pocket of his black Levi�s.

Xander-sex possibilities list

1 jar of cherries

1 pack of Red Vine licorice ropes (the thin kind)

1 bottle of chocolate syrup (squeezable)

1 paint brush (fine-tip, soft bristle) / feather

**Biting Spike�s ass**

Spike biting Xander (?)

A healthy yawn stole over Xander as he made his way out of the store and decided he could get the last item later. He�d had a very late night, or was it early morning? Which ever, he was sleepy so Xander turned his steps in the direction of their hotel.

Back in their darkened room he stored his bag of goods in the closet. Xander quietly removed his boots and socks then peeled off his shirt and pants to fold them over the chair near the bathroom.

Xander slipped his naked length between the cool sheets and turned on his side. A smile of contentment tugged at his full sensual lips when he felt the cool weight shifting next to him and Spike snaked an arm around his waist. Little tingles ran across his skin as Spike pulled him back and spooned up behind him, his pale hand sliding down to cup Xander�s groin possessively. Xander sighed and drifted off.

*****