The next day was so different. So many different kinds of wrong he could feel the hysteria bubbling up in his throat. Willed the constriction of his muscles to hold back whatever sound wanted to erupt. Scream or sob. Instead, settling himself in his room to wait out the storm of thoughts raging in his brain.

Random thought patterns. It's just another dilemma. Doesn't mean he has to address it. Doesn't mean he *has* to listen to these voices. His inner dialogue, waging a silent war between man and monster, his salvation and his addiction.

And above this quiet roar of thought is his demon. Telling him he can't control it doesn't need to. His own voice sounding loud in the empty room, "But what if they find out?"

Words hanging in the air.

What if Cordelia gets a vision.about *him*? It's a little late for that now, though, so is it really a concern? Why haven't any of the bodies turned up in the police reports that Gunn pulls each day? Why isn't Wesley suspicious of his physical changes? He's stronger, heals faster, surely a man with Wesley's training would ferret out the truth. Surely.

So many rules broken. There must be a price to be paid.

Unless. Unless what he's doing isn't so wrong. His prey have all been so evil. So dark. He can smell it on them. Has smelled it on himself. It almost makes.sense. What if it's his right to visit retribution using his demon?

His demons. Because he wasn't alone in this until last night.

His demon broke the promise. Ruined the intricate pattern. Sudden anger at being left alone with this desire. At being forgotten. That's what's eating at him....the demon had promised to be there. Always watching. And he wasn't. He can't feel the presence now like he knows he should be able to. Knows he's alone. And there's a frightening freedom in that. Loss of conscience, with the soul intact.

So...human.

Ancient pride stirring in him. Righteous rage at being lied to. At being abandoned. Full stop of the voices in his head. He stands.

Realizing that payback is the mother of all bitches.

Knowing that he has been taught a lesson. Shown to feel what it's like to be left alone when your world is nothing but different levels of need. Wonders what that other felt at being deserted so many years ago. Suspects it was a more frantic thing for such a young one. But he is not young. Hasn't been young or felt young for such a long time. He's a long way from frantic.

Not desperate at all, really. That would imply some sort of question, an uncertainty about what is going to happen. There is no doubt. He is going out again. Tonight. And it isn't about hunger - it's only been hours since his last kill.

In defiance he'd sucked down two bags of cold blood, daring the old habit to restore order to his universe. It hadn't. But if it had, only he would have known. Just another secret to cosset and hold dear. Lock in the box for his mind to play with.

There's only one goal in mind right now. To get through the afternoon with a minimum of contact. Flashing Cordelia a smile that he knows goes nowhere near his eyes when she knocks timidly and opens his door. Just checking on him. Cringes at the spark of something in her eyes, but she doesn't voice whatever concern she feels. He's able to slip past her interrogation, with a weak excuse and a gesture at the daylight seeping through the dark shades. Bolt his thoughts and body away in his room.

Wanting and waiting. And a little too focused. On sunset.

Dusk usually sidles up to him, like something familiar and welcome...an old friend, always the same. An agreeable handshake. Tonight it's a crack across his back and an unvoiced command.

Time to prove that he doesn't need the demon. That he hasn't forgotten. Show that the lesson he has learned is that the rules are irrelevant.

And *that's* what missing. He could rationalize all of *this* if he only knew the rules. He can feel a bit of hysteria rising up like bile at that thought. Shoves away the need for rationale. Pushes it back down in favor of the hunt.

This is the hunt. His hunt. Not looking for blood this time. Looking for lust. For the pure animal joy of culling the herd. Something pretty. Something small. Something blonde.

And there she is. Shivering. No.crying. And those tears sliding down her cheeks make him want to lick them off. Savor them. Put more of them there, and just hold that head by its' shining ringlets. Like a doll. Made to be broken.

Did he make a sound? She looks up, startled by something. Realizes she's wandered from the party raging a few doors down. Aware now, perhaps of the vulnerability she presents. She starts to walk, but not back to whatever heartbreak she'd found in that well-lit house. No, she moves away, towards the darkness. Little lost lamb.

He follows. Slowly. Her scent catching him, so easy to pick out that sweet sad aroma from all the others moving through the night air. He wonders if he grabs her, tilts her head just so, looks down.will her eyes be blue? He can hope.

Allows himself the deliberate pleasure of making a noise. So he can share with her. Let her know, without allowing her to see. Needs her to know this is his dance. Slow smile as her breath catches in her throat and she turns, seeing nothing in the shadows, but looking all the same.

But she knows. And starts to run.

The smell of adrenaline pumping through her body assaults him like a slap, and he grins into it.

Following the trail of sweat and tears, images of drinking that from her first flashing through his brain. First.and then the utter sweetness of breaking through delicate skin to pure blood laced with fear that *he* put there. For no other reason than because he could. Proof of life without his demon.

Sudden frown. Game over already? Because she darted in misdirected fear down a blind alley. Hardly fair, but he's smiling as he finally steps out of the shadows. Lets her see the face of her romancer. Gratified as his human countenance lulls her for a moment.

"It's all right. You're safe. No need to cry." Words uttered as he moves closer to her. Closing in.

Her momentary sense of security shattered as he presses in closer. A wild leap in her pulse and he wants to thank her for the gift. A whimper escaping her lips as his arms move around her.

"Shhhh..I'm going to make those tears go away. Trust me." Grin of pure delight playing over his face as she falls silent. Almost limp now in his arms. Surrendering. And isn't that what prey should do?

So fascinated with studying her acquiescence, almost in love with the bend of her neck as she slumps against him. Doesn't notice the approach until it is too late.

Sudden snarl of rage from him and a shriek from the girl as she is torn from his embrace. The roughness of the movement enough to startle her into motion as she finds the energy to bolt down the alley.

He won't turn. Won't look. This isn't the way it's supposed to be. He wanted to control it, just this once he tells himself.

"Not gonna happen, ducks. Wasn't meant to be.jes' accept it and we can move on."

"You weren't there." The words dragged from him, feeling like bits of glass tearing him on their way out. Sounding just as rough.

"S'okay. I'm here now. Look.let's get ya home. We'll talk there. Get ya inside.get ya straight. No worries. Come on then."

Lets himself be pulled along. Like a child. Needing guidance. Needing home. And somehow, for some reason that he can't quite yet fathom, this demon. No, his demon is offering him both.

The hotel is empty. Cool marble echoing their footsteps back at them, and he realizes how much like a mausoleum this place is. Never noticed that before.

Steady movement until they both sit in his room. Watching eachother like the reflections they will never have again. He's just going to wait for the other to speak. Waiting. It is after all, what he's good at these days.

"Ya wanna know why I wasn't there last night."

Response too obvious to be spoken.

"Was there."

That wasn't the expected answer. Of course none of this is really anticipated. Least of all sitting in his room across from this..from *him*.

"Was there. Didn't want ya to see me. Was angry."

Voice quiet, calmer than he feels, "Why?"

Nothing calm in the agitated response. "Ya think this has been easy for me? Think I don't wish for simpler times. Hell, I look at you an' I see *his* face. Not blaming you, jes' saying....miss me Sire."

Deafening silence suddenly springs to meaning in his mind. Suppresses the need to put his hands over his ears to stop it.

Curses inwardly at his need to know. "Why did you come back then? Why bother to stop me? Would have thought you'd enjoy seeing me brought low like this. You know what would have happened after, I couldn't have -."

Interrupted. "S'like you said.things change. Can't go back, can only go forward. An' right now I need you sane, need you willing. Need your blood. It's still Sire's blood, innit? So that's it. Two leashes.I hold yours you hold mine.need a yank every once in a while, don't you? We'll be safe as houses. S'okay.I'm here."

And he is here. Out of the chair. Moving closer.

"This isn't a history lesson, *Angel*." Stress on the name, right where he needs it. "We aren't going back.this is new."

Slim body, still looking for all the world like a boy, crouching between his knees.

"So that's it. I watch your back....an' you watch mine."

Slow shake of the dark head in disbelief.

Sigh of exasperation from the demon covered by a move forward. Hands sliding up powerful thighs, face tilted up.

"Ya've believed in curses and divine power fer so long....why stop now? Still got the soul, right? Still got yer human pets. Still fightin' the good fight. So....you must be doing all right. Why fight it?"

Futile wish of a plague on his past self for teaching this creature so well. Because the argument makes sense. And those hands are moving slowly back and forth, inching closer to his groin.

"Soul's safe with me, pet." Cool hand pressing against the bulge in his pants. "No chance of ya forgettin' who you are with me, is there?"

The cracks in his personal walls getting wider all the time. Because he wants this. Wants to let it go. Wants both lives. Needs the demon to keep him safe. As promised.

Lips whispering up towards his mouth. "Take it.don't be a fool. S'all I've got.an' ya need it.don't ya?"

Yes. Reaches out with both hands to grab, pulling that lithe body up to straddle him, yanking that head down to feed on that canny mouth. Allows his tongue to test his memory, sliding across teeth he knows, opening wide and just licking across the palate. Lets out a growl at the hard grind of hips.

Blonde head pulls away, laughing.triumphant. Leaping backward and running toward the large bed. Throwing himself and landing on his back only an instant before Angel follows. Settling on the smaller form with a satisfied grunt. No hesitation as he shreds the clothing from both of their bodies. Finally able to make one continuous lick from hip to neck, nibbling at the vein sluggishly pulsing there. Tiny smile of satisfaction that he'd caused that stimulus.

Wider grin as legs part beneath him. Slender hips canting up so hard flesh rubs together and the resulting gasp is gathered up in Angel's mouth and fed back in hard thrusts of tongue. Eager suckling pushing his hips painfully against those below him. Rough gasp.

"Ya need it, don't ya? Need to be in me.want ta fuck me hard, don't ya, luv?"

The truth of the words slamming in to him. Suddenly frozen.

Muttered curse below him, "Not a chit, Angel. Ya can't hurt me." Arms pulling him down mouth trailing his jaw. "C'mon, give it t'me good. Want ta feel that thick cock o' yours in me hole."

Swift mouth on his, teeth bruising his lips until he opens then pulled into that wet place. Wounding teeth and tongue sucking, biting, as strong legs wrap around him. Imprisoned by that body and mouth. No choice. And he does want it. Wants to bury himself so deep in tight flesh that he can't find a way out. Wants to be taken in and remade. Needs to be whatever his demon wants him to be.

And he can. Can adapt. Can survive. As long as the blood in this creature writhing beneath him calls to him. Forever. Can't be denied. Won't renounce this blood tie, because the demon's given it all back to him.only wants *this* in return.

Only too willing to give in, his body trembling from the lust in the voice wrapping around his mind as tightly as the fist claiming the stiff flesh between his legs.

"Put it in me, dammit! Gimme what I need, Angel!"

Yes. He's pushing those willing knees up, exposing the puckered bud clenching beneath the silky sac. Reaching to gather the wetness on the shaft bobbing angrily over rippled abdomen. Looks up to almost angry blue eyes and he urges two fingers in, watches in fascination as azure snaps to gold and back again. One syllable pushed out between clenched teeth. "More!"

Three fingers shoulder tensing as he drives his hand forward, crooking his fingers ruthlessly just.there. Hips bucking wildly under his hand. Pays to know your demon well.

"Hell.Bloody hell! Do me! Now, Angel - ah.god, just fuck me, man!"

Stretching himself over that body, concentrating as legs wrap around him again. Wet, aching and poised over that hole looking so small against his hardness. Heels digging into his back and he falls forward with the first thrust. Deep. Holding.

Wants to talk, needs to tell the demon how good this feels. How right. Coming home and finding everything just as you left it. Manages to open his mouth against the collarbone underneath and suck as he trembles.

"Please." Such a keening sound coming from the mouth moving against his ear. Puffs of cool breath speaking more need. "Move.ya git..move!"

Pulls back, pulls almost out, pulls a gasp from the body beneath him. Slams back in.

"Fuck, yeah!" Fingers digging into large shoulders, cock lying stiff and hard between them, drooling and red. "C'mon.touch me.jack me.fuck me.harder, dammit!"

Body bent to the demands of the demon. Tattooed flesh flexing with each thrust into that tight hole and each and pull on swollen flesh. Driving himself into that haven of grasping muscle. Ramming in his own need manifested in this fierce mating.

Cry of near pain as muscles grip him tight and cool fluid pulses over his hand. Surrender to the orgasm wrenched from him by the demon beneath him. Feels his own wetness spilling inside, slicking that wonderful place. Never wants to leave. Wordless appeal as he bends his head, seeking that mouth on his neck.

Soft whimper at the teasing licks. Knows the demon is smiling, can feel it on his skin. Ready to beg for it as the vein rips under those fangs. Silent tongue pressing into the ragged hole and his cock just twitches in final agony in that tight dark place. He'd give more if he had it, settles for crouching above the body, and letting the other suck greedily at his neck. Lets hands grip his hair tightly and hold him in place. So good to let go.

Finally just a gentle lapping at the savaged skin and he gently pulls out, drops beside, lies on his back. Almost wants to ask, but doesn't have to as that cool body leans into his. Turns to see blue eyes looking intently at him.

"Good ta let it out, innit? Bit of a wild ride ya gave me. Needed a good seein' to."

"I was just thinking - "

In the blink of an eye his mouth is stopped by a tongue, pushing in, demanding his attention. Gives it willingly. The demon pulls back, smirking.

"S'not allowed, pet. No thinking. I gotcha. Yer safe."

Body curled against his, lips nuzzling at the healing wound. He likes this. Like a key fitting a lock. He can almost hear the quiet snicking sound of something opening, but he wants to sleep. Eyes shutting drowsily.

"You're watching."

"Yeah.brought ya home, gonna watch over ya. Always here."

It's good to feel like this at last. Harbor. Home. Protected. He falls into sleep. Dreaming of nothing.

-----------------------------------------------------

His eyes slowly open. A strange smile spreading across his face at the feel of a familiar body pressed to him. Displaced sense of being here before and yet this being completely new. Further disoriented at the images of the past few weeks playing back in his head. Sudden frown at that. Too much pain. Too much darkness.

But that's gone now. Replaced by the sureness that he is exactly where he belongs. Stronger than he's been in....forever. Happier than he has any right to be. Looks down to see blue eyes blinking back sleep...regarding him. The demon answering his smile, "'Morning, Angelus.".

His own demon finding voice and answering, "Missed me that much, boy?"

Hard smile as the blonde pulls himself over the larger body. Rubbing himself against him, sniffing deeply then purring into the offered throat, "What can I say? Yer my addiction."

"Clever clever lad."

~fin~