I experience an eternity in this single moment in time; lost in the depths of your eyes, the smell of your hair and the taste of your skin. The feel of your body moving against mine, generating that heat only you can. I'm addicted.
Just before the sun rises.
I always promise, swear to myself, that this will be the last time. That I won't let this happen again. I am so confident in my strength of will.
Yeah right.
If my will is so damn strong, then why is it I find myself repeating this exquisite torture every single morning?
Just before the sun rises.
Why do I allow myself to be seduced by your passionate kisses? Your breathless moaning, sighing, and the little catches of breath just before you orgasm?
You are my doom and my deliverance. I can't live with you and I would wither without you.
Isn't life just fucking grand?
Everyday, at sunset, the predator opens its eyes, lifts its muzzle and scents the air, forcing me out into the night. Hunting; searching the dark streets, hoping. Hoping; with every fiber of my being that you will be there, that you won't, that this will be the last time.
I tremble with anticipation as I step from the shower, dry my skin and brush my teeth. I always make sure to give special attention to those; and of course my hair. Not that it really matters, it's not like you pay attention to those things the way I do.
I've sat and studied every hair on you dark head, the way your lashes curl and the wild thickness of your eyebrows. There are times when I have to keep myself from reaching out and brushing them smooth with my thumb. And ohh, the way you bite and suck on your lower lip when you're brooding stirs something deep inside - you're not supposed to brood, that's what I do.
Just before the sun rises.
I sit at the foot of the bed, watching you sleep; brooding over how much I love you and how it makes me weak. I hate that weakness; hate you for making me weak, too weak set you free, too weak to love you the way you deserve.
At sunset, I break my promise and feel truly alive. And while you are sleeping, I promise, this will be the last time.
Just before the sun rises.
~fin~