*****
SPIKE: Uh-uh.
ANGEL: (cajoling) Oh come on..
SPIKE: No.
ANGEL: No?
SPIKE: (vehemently) *No*.
ANGEL: That seems a bit harsh..
SPIKE: Well deal with it, Peaches. I'm not doing it.
ANGEL: Why not?
SPIKE: Because I said!
ANGEL: You ate it last time...
SPIKE: And after last time you promised I'd never have to do it again!
ANGEL: .and seemed to enjoy it..
SPIKE: Don't.. just don't go there..
ANGEL: Why not?
SPIKE: You *promised* me you'd never ask again.
ANGEL: (innocently) I never promised.
SPIKE: (pointing accusingly) You sure as hell did, poofter. I'm not going to
let your greasy gelhead slip out of this one.
ANGEL: (offended) Greasy?!
SPIKE: Yeh. Get over it. And get over this notion that I'm going to eat this
lumpy, cold-
ANGEL: It is *not* lumpy.
SPIKE: (waving his arms around excitedly) Newsflash, Angel! It's lumpier
than four day old porridge.
ANGEL: It's meant to be like that.
SPIKE: Probably got chunks of god knows *what* in it.
ANGEL: Are you disparaging the quality?
SPIKE: Yes.
ANGEL: (sighs) I don't know why you're making such a fuss.
SPIKE: It's also too sloppy.
ANGEL: What?
SPIKE: It is!
ANGEL: (raises an eyebrow) How can it possibly be lumpy and sloppy at the
same time?
SPIKE: I don't know, but you've found a way.
ANGEL: Why are you giving me such a hard time?
SPIKE: Because it's easy. Look, it's white, and sloppy.. *and* lumpy.. I
have no idea how you managed that.. and worst of all, it's in a bowl!
ANGEL: Why is that so bad?"
SPIKE: A *bowl*, Angelus! If I even *considered* for a moment eating this --
which I'm not, by the way -- I'd never eat it out of an effin' bowl!
ANGEL: (hands on hips) Look, I don't see your problem.
SPIKE: Of course you don't! You're perverse! You don't have me coming up to
you, sticking this disgusting white shit under yer nose and saying 'eat it',
do you?
ANGEL: (slight smirk) I seem to recall th-
SPIKE: Shut up. That was different.
ANGEL: All I'm saying is; you seemed to enjoy it last time.
SPIKE: I was also lickin' it off your bare chest. That kinda makes a
difference.
ANGEL: Why Spike, I didn't know you cared.
SPIKE: Fuck off.
ANGEL: Okay, so I make some especially for you, it's in a bowl.. now why
won't you eat it?
SPIKE: Because it's more a spur of the moment kind of thing.. if you *ask*
me to do it directly, I-
ANGEL: -have trouble performing?
SPIKE: Oi!
ANGEL: It's no shame to have performance anxiety.. well.. there *is*, but-
SPIKE: Shuddup! I don't care what you say, I'm not being forced to eat that!
ANGEL: (huffily) No one's *forcing* you...
SPIKE: (jabs a finger at Angel) But you are!
ANGEL: (in a serious tone) If I was forcing you boy; you'd know about it.
SPIKE: Look, I really don't enjoy it as much as you think. I only even
contemplated swallowing it those times to please you. Plus, it tastes funny.
ANGEL: (moves to leave) Right, I've had enough. Do what you like.
SPIKE: (gets up and grabs Angel's arm) Hey! (gestures to a bowl on the
kitchen table) Just because I don't want to eat the yoghurt, doesn't mean I
don't need my daily intake of cheap white carbohydrates... (grins
lecherously)
ANGEL: (sighs to hide his grin, and begins walking to the bedroom) Why do I
keep you around again?
SPIKE: Three words pet. No gag reflex.
(Angel laughs and he and Spike vanish into the bedroom)
~fin