*****

He was restless and upset and knew he should not be patrolling when his emotions were in turmoil, but he needed to do something, anything, and sitting around the Library researching seemed too confining. Buffy had gone out on patrol earlier and reported that she'd accomplished two stakings. Apparently, vampire activity in Sunnydale was back to normal after the fiasco with the spellbound band candy.

Giles took his frustrations out on a helpless clod of dirt sitting next to someone's grave, kicking it so hard it exploded into a thousand tiny clumps. That damned and cursed chocolate had released the inhibitions of the entire adult population of Sunnydale including himself. While he'd enjoyed the freedom of being a kid again and doing all the cool, fun things he so fondly remembered from his true teenage years, regressing in that way had brought back to the surface his own personal demons including one named Ripper.

He had fought so hard to shove Ripper far, far into the recesses of the past, but in the past year his irresponsible alterego had made several reappearances.

Yesterday while under the mind-altering influence of the chocolate, Ripper had emerged full blown and hellbent for trouble. And an entire day was a long time for him to be free. And the things he'd done! Beating up a cop after breaking that storefront window so he could steal the coat for Joyce. Joyce...

Giles had a lot of mixed feelings there. They'd actually had sex on the hood of the cop car, in full view of anyone who happened to be looking. Gods...

Even more unsettling to him was that while Rupert Giles appeared to his friends to be back to normal, he harboured the knowledge that Ripper was seething just below the surface, ready to emerge and cause more havoc.

It was best if he stayed away from everyone until he got Ripper locked away again.

And then there was Ethan.

Gods help him. He'd come within a finger twitch of ridding himself of his old nemesis forever. If Buffy hadn't interfered, he knew with a deadly certainty he would have pulled the trigger of that gun he'd taken from the cop. Murder, even if it did eliminate scum, was many times worse than simple burglary. It would be difficult to train the Slayer from prison.

And yet the most upsetting part of the whole thing was he wasn't certain he wouldn't miss having Ethan flitting about on the fringes of his life. That thought made him shudder.

Dropping his weapons bag on the ground near the car, Giles checked to make certain he had enough stakes in his pockets, that the bottle of holy water was intact and that he had his big wooden cross.

Sitting on the hood of his car was the first mistake.

Not checking behind him was the second.

Two vampires in full game face attacked him before he had both feet off the ground. They pulled him off the car and shoved him face first onto the grass. Stunned by the suddenness of the assault, he was slow to react, but then a remarkable clarity set in as though he was viewing the scene through someone else's eyes.

He saw himself in the ludicrous position of being about to become a meal for bloodthirsty demons. A victim, a casualty. A failure. That made him angry. Very angry.

As Watcher, he knew by heart the fighting techniques that he taught Buffy. It was a poor teacher who couldn't put his methods into practice. He might not have a Slayer's strength, but he did have his knowledge and anger working for him. He seized his frustration with Ripper's blatant disregard for the life he had in Sunnydale, and channelled it into a blind rage as he fought for his right to exist.

The first vamp bent over reaching for Giles and got a foot solidly in his stomach. As the vampire doubled over, Giles grabbed him by the collar of his burial suit and pulled with all his strength, flipping the beast over his head where it crashed heavily.

Not stopping to see where it had landed, Giles shot to his feet, only to be knocked down again as the other vamp tackled him about the waist. They fell together, grappling for control. Giles twisted frantically trying to get his fingers in his pocket where the stakes were. Getting a knee up between himself and the demon, he shoved with all his strength and broke free, rolling to the side only to be caught by a third vamp.

The newcomer hauled Giles to his feet, clamping fingers of steel around the Watcher's throat. Giles swung at him ineffectually, but the vampire's reach was very long and Giles' fist missed it's mark by inches. The edges of his vision were drawing inward as he kicked out solidly connecting with the vampire's upper leg. He lashed out again and again until the grip on his throat was loosened. It wasn't much of an opening but at least the stars spinning before his eyes were receding.

He used the small victory to his advantage. The fanged visage was closing in on him, prepared to feed, but Giles had other ideas. Out of the corner of his eye he saw something nearby that he could use.

He let his body go limp as though he'd fainted; his dead weight pulled the vampire off balance just enough so that Giles was dropped inches closer to the ground. His scrabbling fingers closed in on the rock he'd spotted and he brought it up in a deadly arc to connect with the side of the vamp's head. Howling and clutching his smashed and bloody ear, the vampire let him go and staggered off.

Abruptly, Giles fell, scrambled back up to his feet and spun around with a stake in his hand ready for the other two, but inexplicably they had vanished. All that was left was a sparkle of dust floating down in the moonlight and one rather startled looking Ethan Rayne.

His old enemy stood next to Giles' weapon's bag, the crossbow in his hands. He looked down at it as it began to shake, the nose heading downward.

"Ripper." Ethan's voice shook nearly as much as his hands.

Giles bit back a scathing reply as he heard a sound behind him. He turned halfway, stake pointed backwards and drove it into the chest of the third vampire. It exploded in a shower of dust. Giles took a moment to gather his wits.

Then he turned back to Ethan.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

Rayne appeared to have himself mostly back under control.

"Ooh, my Ripper is in full force tonight. Aren't you going to thank me for helping to save your life?"

"Thank you," Giles replied grudgingly. Ethan had helped. If he hadn't arrived when he had there might be Watcher blood surging through the veins of at least one vampire tonight. Or worse... He shuddered to think about the other possibilities. If not for Ethan he might have been brought over.

Ethan walked closer, that insufferable half-smile on his face.

"Happy to see me?" he teased.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"No? How far will you go, Rupert?"

Giles frowned at the invitation he heard in his ex-friend's voice. It had been a long time since Ethan had approached him in that way.

"Why the hell can't you react to a threat on your life like anyone else and get as far away from me as possible? I nearly shot you yesterday."

Ethan took another step closer. And another.

He looked deeply into Giles' eyes. Rupert found himself staring back. He had to look up slightly because Ethan was a good two inches taller. Those dark brown eyes usually held a myriad of emotions all at the same time -- mischief, devilment, trouble, evil, laughter all with that same self- satisfied smirk. Now they showed only one thing and it made Giles angry.

"Get away from me." He said it calmly, pleased that he could.

Ethan shattered that feeling immediately.

"Let me soothe your pain, luv."

Ripper wanted to pull Ethan's spleen out through his nose. Giles was shocked into inaction. After all they'd been through in their tumultuous relationship, especially the most recent developments, Ethan still desired him.

When Giles found his voice again all he could say was, "You are so warped."

Ethan laughed. "Now that sounds like something your little Slayer would say. By the way, that was quite a display you put on yesterday at the factory. 'You're _my_ slayer.' Wonderful! Rather possessive of her aren't you? And yet you let her order you around like a dog. Who's the teacher and who's the student? Urk!"

Giles left hand was wrapped tightly around Ethan's throat, and he leaned in until he felt Rayne's gasping breath on his face. There was genuine fear in those dark eyes now.

"What were you saying, Ethan?"

Rayne gurgled an answer.

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch that." His accent changed, slipping back into the North London inflection he had used yesterday.

Ethan struggled against the pressure on his windpipe. He was turning an interesting and dark shade of purple. Giles loosened his fingers but kept them in place.

Coughing uncontrollably, Ethan sputtered an answer while Rupert stared at him. Finally sucking in enough air to speak, the self-proclaimed Son of Chaos said, "I apologize." He sounded like he meant it.

Giles was at a loss for this inexplicable behaviour.

He released Ethan and backed away, flexing the fingers of his left hand, unsure of the power of his brutality. Sickened by the sheer joy he'd felt while threatening the other man, he turned away and walked off a few steps.

Ethan followed and caught up with him, placing a shaking but insistent hand on his arm.

"Please let me help you, Rupert. I can make all your troubles go away. Perhaps just for one night, but I _can_ help."

Giles faced him.

"I want to help," Ethan continued.

Still Giles did not speak. He merely stared. Ethan never did anything for purely selfless reasons. He wanted something. But what?

Licking his lips, Ethan reached out, trailing fingertips down Giles' cheek, drifting along his jaw until they came to the chin. He placed the palm of his hand behind Giles' head, cupping the back of his skull and gently pulled him closer. Giles resisted, bracing himself against the move. This was wrong. Ethan was up to no good. He always wanted something, usually more than Giles was prepared to give. Rupert's eyes flickered to that sensual mouth then back up to stare into the brown eyes, losing himself in the longing he saw there. Despite his doubts he leaned forward slightly, barely moving his body.

Their lips met, brushing in passing then coming back to crush urgently against each other. Giles parted his to allow the invasion of the other man's tongue, welcoming it, savouring it, needing it. He wrapped his arms around Ethan's waist pulling him hard against his own body while Rayne concentrated on deepening the kiss. Giles let it go on for a while, delighting in the uncomplicated pleasure of simply being loved. It had been such a long, long time.

Being with Joyce had briefly given him a release although it had been relatively quick and dirty; pleasurable in its own way, but hardly satisfying in the way that he needed it.

Rayne's hands had pulled Giles' shirt out of his waistband and were sliding up his sides, stroking the skin there while he kissed and nipped at the side of his neck. Rupert stood in the circle of his arms with eyes closed, occasionally depositing kisses of his own on Ethan's mouth when it came back within reach, but mostly just enjoying the sensations that assaulted him, knocking all thought from his mind.

Then Ethan's hand pressed against Giles' crotch. Giles pulled back a little, the invasion there having the opposite of the intended effect. Giles felt distinctly uneasy now.

"Perhaps we should go somewhere more private," Ethan kissed him again, smiling against Rupert's mouth. "Unless you've acquired a taste for having sex in public."

Giles took one step back so that he could see the other's face.

The smirk had returned tempered by lust and genuine humour. Giles knew the difference between that and the more normal brand of Ethan's amusement which was cruel and unusual.

He quirked an eyebrow.

"I saw you and Buffy's mother. Naughty Ripper. What if that copper had woken up? Would you have knocked him out again or let him watch? I know it gave me a rush."

Giles brought his hands up and roughly shoved Ethan away.

Apparently thinking this was some sort of foreplay, Ethan grinned devilishly and reached for him again. A fist in his face stopped him cold.

He stood there, perplexed, hands spread.

"What is it?"

"You. It was all your fault." Giles turned and paced away, turned again and came back, the lines of his body rigid with tension.

"My...? My fault?"

"The candy! The -- the chaos and confusion. The plot to steal the babies to feed them to Lurkonis."

"Now hang on a minute! I had nothing to do with that. I was hired to produce a means to their ends. Trick brought me here. I did what I was contracted to do. Nothing more."

"You're lying."

"I swear! Trick paid me a handsome sum to cast the spell. I admit he left the details up to me but he didn't tell me what the candy was going to be used for beyond incapactitating the adults in town. It sounded like a lark. I could come back to Sunnydale, see you, have a bit of fun and get paid for it. It's exactly my sort of job." He grinned hugely, delight in his favourite activity evident in the glow on his face.

Giles knew he shouldn't get involved again but, so help him, Ethan looked so desirable right then; downright irresistible. Uttering a wordless sound of defeat, Giles wound his fingers in Ethan's hair and jerked him closer. The growl which escaped was muffled while he savagely violated Ethan's mouth. The sorceror's hands wandered down Giles' back to clutch at his ass. Squeezing and kneeding the muscles there while pressing his pelvis against Giles, Ethan's knee forced its way between his legs.

Breaking off the kiss with a suddenness that left them both panting, Giles said, "My place."

#

He had no time to stop and think about what he was doing, to evaluate what this move meant in the scheme of things. Ethan kept his brain out of commission by sucking and biting his earlobe, trailing hot, wet kisses down the side of Rupert's neck. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, Giles knew inviting Ethan into his home was akin to extending the same invitation to a vampire. It would lead to nothing but trouble.

On the other hand, he was so turned on by now he didn't care if Ethan was a vampire. Almost.

They drove together leaving the Citroen behind. Ethan was unwilling to leave his rental car sitting untended at the cemetery as if afraid some newly risen vampire would break into it and take it for a joyride. His anxiety over the vehicle made Giles chuckle. Some things never changed. As he remembered it, Ethan had always been unnaturally possessive with material things; a result of never having had any as a child. It was a trait that was at odds with his unconcerned, world-be-damned image that he tried so hard to project.

If Giles felt any genuine fondness for the troublesome Ethan Rayne it stemmed from that -- the uncertainty that surfaced at the most unexpected times. There they were both visibly aroused from their clinch in the graveyard and Ethan was worried about the car. He had the power to bring a town the size of Sunnydale to a complete and chaotic halt and a little thing like the responsibility of a rental could twist him into a fretful knot.

Giles knew that he was probably the only person in the world who was allowed to see even that tiny glimpse of the real Ethan Rayne. And Ethan wanted him. He felt a surge of desire for the man rush through him. He suffered no illusions about the trouble with a capital T that was Ethan. Taking Ethan Rayne into his home, into his bed, was perhaps not one of his smarter moves, but right now he had no regrets.

*****

Part 2:

They parked in front of his apartment complex and walked up the steps and down to the level of his unit together, unspeaking. When Giles opened the door and went inside, Ethan followed, closing and locking the door behind them. Giles dumped his weapon's bag inside the door. When he automatically out of habit reached for the light switch, Ethan stopped him, closing his fingers over Giles', drawing his hand down to his side and claiming his mouth for another kiss.

Giles threw the keys towards the small table near the door. They missed and hit the floor with a small, tinkling thud. He ignored them and jerked Ethan closer, their arms winding around each other, bodies pressed tightly together. He backed Ethan towards the couch, getting only a few steps before the other man stopped him.

"No. Let's do it properly. In your bed." Ethan was being reasonable about it, not bossy, undemanding, and yet it annoyed Giles that his erstwhile lover was taking the initiative here.

"Uh uh." He smiled and something in the smile caused Ethan to pale visibly. Using his hands, body and legs Giles continued to force Ethan further into the living room. He had a few pounds of muscle and years of physical training on his side; Ethan went where he was directed.

The couch tripped them up and they fell onto it, Giles' weight landing on Ethan causing the breath to get knocked out of the man on the bottom. Rupert followed that up by savagely kissing him until Ethan twisted his head to the side, panting heavily.

"What is it with you trying to prevent me from breathing? I don't remember this from our time in London."

"It's new."

Ethan stared up at him then began to laugh. "Ripper, you _are_ back!" he crowed delightedly. "Is it still the candy affecting you?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not at all, my dear boy. Not at all." He lifted his head and lightly placed a sweet kiss on Rupert's mouth, his action in direct counterpoint to the menace he had unleashed in Giles.

Ripper tore Ethan's shirt open popping buttons as he went. He began to nibble his way down Rayne's chest stopping now and then to lick and bite. Then he worked his way back up until he reached Ethan's nipples. He traced a finger around and around the right one then teased it with his tongue, flicking back and forth, back and forth until the other man was squirming underneath him. Giles sucked on the nub, drawing it up into his mouth. A sharp intake of breath let him know he was having the desired effect and he moved on, swirling his tongue around the other one, taking his time.

Ethan moaned, tossing his head. He brought his hands up trying to grasp Giles' head, but Ripper shook him off, shoving his hands back down where they lay helplessly ineffectual at his sides. Giles sucked and bit the left nipple then moved on to do the same down Ethan's breast bone, across his abdomen, stopping to concentrate for awhile on what he remembered was Ethan's very ticklish navel.

He kissed and licked all the way around the indentation as Ethan writhed and jerked at the sensations. Rayne laughed out loud once, a harsh bark of laughter abruptly cut off when Giles' hand closed around his erection, rubbing and squeezing through Ethan's trousers.

"Ahhh!" Ethan bucked his hips. "Don't, Ri-Ripper! I'm too c-close."

Giles relented, removing his hand. He also raised up, his elbows on either side of Ethan and watched him. After a moment, frowning, Rayne opened his eyes.

"Why'd you stop?"

Giles smiled and reached for the fastener on Ethan's pants. In a matter of moments he had them opened, the zipper down, the material apart and was digging around in the undershorts to free Ethan's member. Once the cotton briefs were opened his prize sprang out into Giles' hand, swollen and reddened, hard and hot. Giles lowered his head and tasted it, running his tongue up the underside and then settling on the tip. A drop of pre-cum glistened there. He closed his lips on it and sucked lightly. Another moan escaped Ethan.

Giles needed to feel skin against skin. He moved off him, sliding to kneel on the floor beside the couch. Rapidly, he pulled the offending pants off Ethan, divesting him of his shoes and socks, too. Then he stood up and quickly stripped himself, never taking his eyes off Ethan who watched through lowered lids. When he was naked, he sprawled on top of the other man and resumed his exploration of his body, but kept one hand firmly around Ethan's penis. He knew his lover was close to orgasm, but he wanted to prolong this as long as possible. He was enjoying the foreplay too much to stop even though his own arousal was getting painful. He would have to complete this soon just not yet.

He sat up again and arranged the cushions behind him then leaned into them so that his back was braced against them. Then he opened his arms and beckoned to Ethan. Scooting across on his ass to climb into Giles' lap, Ethan wriggled around until his thighs were clenched around Giles' waist, sinking into his embrace, their twin arousals nestling near each other.

Giles drew him closer so they could kiss. There was nothing gentle about the kisses now. It was more an exchange of saliva and desperation as they fiercely traded bruising attacks on each other's mouths. Giles ran his hands up and down Ethan's back while his partner rubbed his palms across Rupert's chest and shoulders. Then Giles brought his left hand around to grasp Ethan's penis. He squeezed, eliciting a groan from its owner.

"Please, Ripper... Do it now."

"Soon. Very soon." It would have to be. He was getting very close to the edge himself.

With a bit of maneuvering he positioned Ethan so that his ass was in the air -- more or less -- and Giles knelt, holding his own shaft and using the pre-cum leaking from it as lubrication which he stroked onto the hot flesh under him. Then he slid it home.

It was a long, slow, tight slide during which Ethan cried out, whether in pain or pleasure Giles couldn't tell. With Ethan it was nearly impossible to discern the difference anyway. He bullied his way in, all the way in, then held still for a beat before pulling back out part way. With a grunt he shoved back inside all the way to his balls and began to rock, slowly at first then as he felt the pressure start to build he moved with more force, keeping one hand firmly wrapped around Ethan's shaft. Sliding it up and down the heated flesh it was soon joined by Ethan's hand on top of his and they pumped together. He kept his eyes open watching as Ethan fought to do the same and lost the battle, eyes squeezed tightly shut and mouth open, he threw his head back. Suddenly he yelled out an incomprehensible sound and shuddered violently, spraying cum all over both of them and he fell back on the couch.

A thrilling, overwhelming sensation that produced stars in front of his dazzled eyes grabbed him and tore at his insides, deep down within, and Giles shot his seed inside Ethan. Limp, drained and sated, he toppled onto his lover who shakily raised his arms to hold him in place.

After a while Giles urged Ethan to stretch out to his full length and he followed suit, lying half on top, but staying within the comforting circle of his arms. It took a bit of arranging but they finally got their limbs where they wanted them. Giles started to fall asleep when he heard as though from a great distance a quietly murmured, "Bloody bastard."

He found Ethan Rayne's reaction highly amusing but all he could produce was a tired smile.

#

Giles woke up sometime during the night, the air that touched his back chilling him, his front very warm and pressed tightly against an equally warm body, the owner of which was snoring softly in his ear. Lifting his head he could make out the sharp features of Ethan and he remembered how and why they had gotten there.

He shifted, disentangling himself, the skin on his chest and arms and thighs sticking to Ethan's as they parted. As he rose from the couch, Ethan rolled over onto his side, his face pressed against the back of the couch, one arm flung over his head, the other back over his hip. Giles stood looking down at him for a moment.

In sleep Ethan looked the part of the innocent, harmless and almost childlike. In truth Giles knew him to be none of those things. He could not be trusted. Ever. The only true advantage Giles had ever had over Ethan, would ever have, the only way to control the manipulative warlock, was sex. When they made love -- if it could be called that -- Ethan was always at his mercy; he craved Giles' dominance, was perhaps addicted to it. And Giles, to his eternal guilt, enjoyed the role and the reactions it produced in Ethan.

He wished he'd never gotten involved with Ethan on any level.

He was torn as always, of two minds when it came to the man lying naked on his couch. Gods guide him, he both loathed and hungered for Ethan Rayne.

He needed to get away from him.

Padding into the kitchen he began going through the refrigerator looking for something to appease the unexpected attack of the munchies he was experiencing. Nothing in there appealed to him. Then his gaze fell on the box of chocolate bars sitting on the counter. The remaining band candy. It called to him as surely as a siren's song.

He stared at it for a long while, willing it to go away. When it stayed where it was he slowly stretched a hand out and removed one bar. Pulling back the wrapper as though peeling forbidden fruit, he bit into the sweet chocolate, chewed and swallowed, closing his eyes against all thought and responsibility.

#

Some time later, Giles leaned down and roughly shook Ethan awake, his fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulder.

"Wha..? Mmm, Ripper." Ethan squinted sleepily into the dim light of the apartment.

Giles grabbed him by the arms and jerked him upright, pulling him to his feet and into his fierce embrace, one hand firmly gripping Ethan's head. Ethan fought him at first nearly getting his hair pulled out of his skull for his efforts. The pain woke him fully and he smiled delightedly, practically purring Giles' name.

"Rupert, I didn't know you cared." He glanced downwards where Giles' erection was jammed against his thigh.

Giles attacked Ethan's neck, scraping his teeth against the skin, sucking the welts that rose there.

"Ah, Rupert." Ethan tipped his head back, further exposing his throat. "You've been hunting vampires too long -- you're begin...ohh...beginning to fixate on biting necks."

"Is that a problem?" Giles inquired mildly, lifting his head momentarily.

"Not at al..." He yelped as Giles broke the skin then shivered when his lover lapped at the wound with his tongue.

Giles worked his way across Ethan's collarbone but then he tired of that. Placing the palms of both hands on Ethan's shoulders he gave a mighty shove and knocked Ethan off his feet, dumping him back onto the couch. Not satisfied with that he grabbed Ethan by the legs and yanked him off the couch onto the floor. The other man cried out as he hit the hard surface and bounced. Before Ethan had a chance to recover, Giles knelt beside him and flipped him over onto his stomach and quickly straddled him, sitting across his legs.

"What are you doing? Ripper?" There was a note of uncertainty in Rayne's voice.

Giles leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Relax, Ethan. This won't hurt if you just relax."

He stroked Ethan's back drawing his hands down to the buttocks and then back up. He could feel the tension building rather than receding, the muscles under his fingers knotting as Ethan anticipated what was about to happen. Grasping Ethan around the hips he pulled him up onto his knees and fit himself snugly against him then he reached for the bottle of oil he'd set on the end table. He poured some into his hands and began to smear it on Ethan's skin using his fingers to work it into the other man's anus. He'd heated it on the stove before waking Ethan and the warmth of it seaped into his pores. He watched as the man underneath him visibly relaxed a bit. Not quite enough but it would do.

"Listen, Rupert. You know I love this but it really isn't necessary to... Oh, God!"

Without warning, Giles impaled himself to the hilt in Ethan's ass.

His hands on Ethan's hips to steady both of them, he pumped in and out vigorously. Ethan moaned and pressed back against him, bracing himself on one hand so that he could bring himself off with the other. Panting heavily, he bucked out of control then suddenly stilled and shook violently with the force of his orgasm. Ethan dropped to his elbows, ass in the air, shaking with the aftershocks. Giles continued to ram himself in and out, the closer he got to his own apex the slower he moved, eyes shut until he exploded inside Ethan. He collapsed across Ethan's back and they fell to the floor together in a sweaty heap. Giles stirred after a bit but Ethan didn't move at all. Placing one hand against the side of Rayne's face, Giles determined that his lover had merely passed out and he soon joined him as sleep overtook him once more. They remained connected by their fleshy bond, Watcher still inside the warlock, and they slept.

#

He was certain the effects of the band candy had finally worn off by the next morning, when he emerged from the shower to find Ethan seated on the edge of his bed wearing just his pants and looking deliciously rumpled. After all these years, Rupert knew himself well enough that he could tell when Ripper was present and when the Watcher was firmly in place.

The Bad Boy had gone away again -- for awhile anyway -- but he still felt a rise of desire at the sight of Ethan.

"Morning," he greeted his lover.

"My, aren't we cheery today," Ethan grumped.

Giles adjusted the towel around his waist and sat down next to him.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"I'm sore. I hurt all over. You got pretty rough the second time around. And the third..." Ethan's voice trailed off accompanied by a shudder that ran through his frame.

"You used to like it." Tentatively Giles placed a hand on Ethan's shoulder, stroking the skin.

"I still do. It's my body that's complaining."

Giles grinned at him. "You're only a couple of years older than me and I feel fine."

Ethan shifted away an inch or so and glowered.

"I didn't throw you on the floor in the middle of it, did I now? And I didn't shove anything bigger than my finger up your arse."

The comments caused Giles to fall silent. He had been rough last night -- or early this morning. It seemed that everytime he got comfortable with the notion that he could live with Ripper, something turned up to remind him that that side of him was a nasty, sometimes vicious and always dangerous man. What he'd done with Ethan last night was nothing compared to what he was capable of. And what he knew himself to be capable of sickened him.

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and rubbed his hands over his eyes.

Ethan put an arm around his shoulders. Not quite a comforting hug, but the warmth and the contact eased his pain a bit.

"Shh. It's not as bad as all that."

"Yes. It is." Giles spoke into the palms of his hands. "I really wish you hadn't come to Sunnydale again."

There was a stunned silence, then: "Well, you can bloody well go bugger yourself then!" Ethan got up and started searching for the rest of his clothing then gave up, slapping his hands against his legs. Everything except the pants he wore was still downstairs, scattered about the living room. Giles reached for him, was shaken off and reached again, this time succeeding in getting his hands around Ethan's biceps and pulling him closer so that he was forced to look at him.

"Listen to me!" Giles shook him, demanding his attention. "Listen to me," more softly but with an edge. Ethan met his eyes. "I don't think you know what it costs me to lose control like that. It scares me sometimes when I think about all the things *he* has done. Especially very recently. For all your faults I'm not sure even you deserve to be the brunt of _his_ animosity."

Ethan gazed at him, blinking. "You think of Ripper as another person?"

"Yes."

"My God. I never thought... I mean, I never considered what it was doing to you. I happen to like Ripper but I've always thought of him as the real you."

Giles flinched. He drew in a shaky breath. "Yes. I rather thought you did but you see, he terrifies me and I would be most happy if I never had to deal with him again. The problem with that is, everytime you show up there he is eager to beat the stuffing out of you -- one way or another." He smiled ruefully.

Ethan's back visibly straightened. "I'll leave then. Far be it for me to ever darken your doorway again. Wouldn't want you upset." He turned away but again Giles caught him and made him face front.

"Don't you see? I've always blamed you for his creation and for dredging him back out, but it's me. The past day or so I've been straddling the threshold of who is Giles and who is Ripper, barely able to separate the two. It's like being in two vastly different worlds, having two lives. I thought that if I could shove Ripper back out the door he'd go away and I could lock it behind him. But I can't, as much as I want to I can't. If you hadn't come back with that blasted candy..."

"Which was partially Trick's idea," Ethan reminded him.

"Then it really is just a part of me fighting to get out. I don't know if I can lock him out or incorporate him into my personality."

Ethan put his arms around Giles' neck. Giles tried to shove him off but was held close. Sighing heavily he relaxed into the hug.

"I must admit that when I saw you last night I thought you were up to more no good," he told the wily magicker.

Ethan snorted. "Shows how well you know me -- I was." He grinned at the look Giles gave him. "Not last night though. My original plan was to stick around after I'd completed the job for Trick and see what else I could stir up. I'd, uh, better not give details. But then I saw you at the factory. The way you swaggered up to stand behind your Slayer made me forget about everything else besides getting you into bed -- and, at that moment, saving my own skin, of course."

"Of course," Giles agreed amiably.

Ethan released him, saying, "I rather hope you don't lock the door on Ripper. Or on me. We'd both like back in every now and then."

Giles grimaced. "One at a time though? I don't think I can go another round with both of you."

Ethan wrinkled his nose. "What are you complaining about? You got off with little physical damage and you got to have all the fun."

"And, I suppose, you didn't enjoy any of it."

Shrugging, Ethan said, "Didn't say that, did I?" He stared at the floor until just when Giles thought he wasn't going to say anything more, he brightened and said, "Still, it does my heart good to know I'm not too old for a little fun and games."

"What's this?" Giles said, his accent returning once more to the rough street sound of his youth. "Ethan Rayne is mellowing?"

Ethan regarded him with some alarm and pulled away slightly. "Hell, no! Just taking a little pleasure with my pain."

Giles shook his head. "You are one sick bastard."

The smile that brought about lit up the room. "Yes, I suppose I am."

~end~