The first hour wasn't easy for any of us. Cordelia and Wes were clearly amused by Spike's appearance in the office so early. He took their jibes calmly, making himself some space on one of the desks. I retreated to my office and left him to it. It was unnerving not being able to see what was happening outside. I tried to concentrate on the mound of paperwork three days out of the office had left me. The sound of laughter, raised voices and furniture moving occasionally drifted in to distract me. But I was determined not to give in and go out to interfere. It isn't going to be easy for him. Finding a place in my life.

I should have known though, that Spike would find a way. By lunchtime I'm so starved I can smell the humans' blood from the outer office. I've been drained and active all night and haven't taken time to replenish. I'm also hard and aching for Spike's body. Time for the boss to exercise his prerogative again.

I wander nonchalantly out, trying to hide the noticeable bulge in my pants only to find the office semi-deserted. Spike and Cordelia have gone.

`Where is he?' I say, trying to hide a note of rising panic in my voice. This is not going well. It's broad daylight. He should be here, inside.

`He wanted stuff for his desk. So Cordelia's taken him shopping...under a tarp, don't worry. If I may say so Angel, I really don't think this is going to work. Having him here all day.' Wesley seems rather agitated. I wonder what Spike has been taking about all morning. We are going to have to have a little chat about boundaries. Boundaries between our private life and office life. No way on this earth am I going to explain to Wesley or Cordelia that Spike and I are...are...what are we? Before I can give the problem too much thought they arrive back with what seems like hundreds of bags. Spike gives me a cheeky grin and dumps them on `his' desk. Desk tidies, a clock, calculator, pens, notebooks, all spill out of the bags. With a triumphant look he hands me the receipt.

`Cash'll do Mate. Cordy had to use her credit card for this lot.'

`Err, and you need all this for...?'

`Hey, if I'm gonna work in this agency, I want stuff on me desk.' I make a mental note to check in six months time to see if any of this stuff has actually been used. Somehow I doubt it. But I really don't want to curb this initial enthusiasm, so I make no comment.

`Err...lunch?'

He looks me straight in the eye, then lets his gaze travel slowly and seductively down my body till it gets to my pants. If I had a noticeable bulge before, now I'm actually visibly twitching. Fortunately the others are busy getting coffee, so Spike's effect on me goes unnoticed. Boundaries definitely need to be discussed. He cocks his scarred eyebrow up.

`Hungry are you Pet?' Before he can embarrass me more I head down the stairs, hoping he's following. I didn't need to worry. He practically rams me into the couch he flies down the stairs so fast.

`Spike, I really am hungry. Blood first. Pleaseee.' But I can't resist kissing him. I can't resist just feeling the front of his pants. So then, of course, blood has to wait. He's as hard as I am. I get him out while he plunders my mouth for more kisses, thrusting his tongue in and swirling it round and round. He's sprawled on me on the couch, so I pull him up till he is sitting on my chest, he's struggling to get his leg out of his jeans, making his cock bounce temptingly in front of my mouth. After a few unsuccessful attempts to catch it with my tongue, I grab his hips and pull him fully into my mouth.

They say you should never go shopping when you are hungry. Maybe it applies to sucking Spike off too. I attack his cock with my mouth, running my tongue repeatedly over the tip, desperate for more than the few drops of precum I can taste there. He leans back and starts to rub my cock through my pants. I want to tell him to get me out. I want to remind him this is only lunchtime and that I need these clothes for the rest of the day. But I don't want to take my mouth from his cock. I don't want to break this delicious contact. He slides his hand down further between my legs, making me lift them up so he can fondle my balls. He scratches his nail over the tip of my cock as it strains against the soft fabric of my pants. I'm lost to his touch. As I feel the swelling of his thick shaft in my mouth and the powerful spurt of cold cum on the back of my throat, I orgasm and feel my cum soaking through the fabric under his hand.

I milk him utterly dry, desperately sucking for more. Even when he is completely spent I am reluctant to release his soft cock from my mouth. But he pulls out and slides down to lie on me. Avoiding the damp patch, he wriggles for a while to get comfortable. I stroke his hair as he plays with one nipple through my shirt. Time for the boundaries discussion.

`So, did you have a good first morning?' A weak but non-committal start.

`Last twenty minutes were good.' I can't help but smile. I thought so too, but I'm not going to cloud the issue with that now.

`So, what did you and Cordy and Wes talk about all morning?' I go for unconcerned, general chit-chat tone to my voice. I don't think he's fooled for a minute.

`Staff perks mostly.' I stop stroking his hair.

`Perks?'

`Yeah, I'm initiating staff perks for everyone. Sort of employee bonus scheme. If we all do really good stuff we get perks.'

Does this actually sound like a good idea? Coming from Spike. Why didn't I think of this and is this a wind up?

`Oh. What sort of perks? I can't afford to pay anyone any more Spike.'

`Well Cordy's is time off. Couldn't work out what she actually does, so didn't think you'd miss her anyway. Watcher's is more...complicated.' I can sense him smirking from here. What's he up to?

`Do they like the idea?'

`Cordy does.'

I wondered why Wesley was looking agitated earlier on. 'Wesley doesn't, I take it?'

'I think the theory went down quite well, it was just the perk he wasn't so sure about,' he's almost gigging at his own private joke. 'You get one too Mate!'

'What?'

'A perk.' and with that he bounds off me and over to the fridge. When he has heated up a large mug of blood he slides back into his former position on me. I think he's going to pass it to me, and I guess it is a perk, having someone else heat it up for me. But he proves creative with his bonus schemes. Looking at me with his seductive smirk, he takes a large mouthful of the blood and leaning into me, passes it to me from his mouth. The warm, thick, coppery liquid slides over my lips, mixing with the taste of his cum. I'm ravenous. I push my tongue deep into his mouth to lick the walls clean. He pulls away, and takes another drink. I think it would have been good, another sensuous passing of our unlife-giving fluid. But he takes one look at my eager, desperate face, and bursts out laughing. With his mouth full. Blood shoots out like a scene from a bad war movie. It hits my face, soaks my hair and the front of my shirt. He has the grace to look abashed, 'Err, sorry Mate.' He starts to lick the blood from my face, an active apology. I feel his cock rising again against my belly, I've been hard since the first taste of blood in my mouth. Things start getting interesting again and I'm lost to the taste and feel of Spike. Not so lost though that I don't hear the whir of the elevator.

*****
Part 14:

'Oh Christ!' I push Spike off onto the floor. He's naked from the waist down with a cock you could hang a flag on. I've got a huge bulge, rather noticeable through my soaking wet pants. Add the blood all over my hair, face and shirt and I don't think we're ready for visitors somehow.

'Go! Somewhere. Anywhere.' I desperately plead with him. I rip my clothes off, hopping to the bedroom as my leg gets stuck in my damp pants. I rip them off and pull on some sweat pants and just make it back to the living room when Wesley and Cordelia arrive.

'Hi! I was training. Spilt my blood. Just changing. What do you want?' Where the hell is Spike? I notice a small trail of blood specks leading into the kitchen just as his bleached head appears over the top of the counter. He leans nonchalantly on it. He too is shirtless. I prey desperately he has his jeans back on behind the counter screening him and sit down. I think we got away with it. As Wesley starts to raise concerns about some party, I casually move a cushion onto my lap. Can't hide anything in sweat pants. Unfortunately this only uncovers Spike's jeans, which he had obviously tucked there in his flight to the kitchen. That means.I cast an anxious eye over to him. He gives me a cheeky grin and imperceptibly moves his hand down behind the counter.

Oh please. Powers that Be, God, anyone.please don't let Spike do 'that', naked, ten feet from my employees. If I look away, maybe he'll stop.

'.so Angel. What do you think.'

Oh God.'sorry Wesley, what did you say? I'm a bit.distracted today. Sorry,' distracted by the tiniest of noises coming from Spike. A sort of low purring. I glance nervously at the others. They can't hear it. I can though. And it's like a Siren call. I feel my own cock rising and swaying. Vampire Childe calling to Vampire Sire. The smell of his arousal is potent in the air. He's staring at me, willing me to look at him. I mustn't. Until I realise I already am. I can't take my eyes off his eyes. His pupils are totally dilated. I can picture his blood soaked hand on his cock. Picture the engorged, purple tip, taste the droplets of precum on my tongue. Oh God, Oh God, if I don't touch myself I think I'll explode. I shift under the cushion, pressing it hard into me. It's some relief, but not much. Just go. Please, just go.

'Are you alright Angel?'

'Well, I really need to feed Wesley, and you know how I hate doing that with an audience. I'll be up in a minute. Please,' and thank God, they leave.

He's on the floor before their feet are out of sight. I push him face first into the smooth wooden surface. I raise his hips up slightly, and without any preparation, thrust my aching cock into his tight entrance. He gasps, but pushes back against me, begging for more, deeper penetration. I pull out, ignoring his hiss of anger and pull him up and spread him over the counter.

'Thought that was funny did you?' and I thrust back in, pinning his wrists down, spreading his legs with mine. 'Pleased with your little schemes, aren't you?' I start an insistent rhythm deep inside his passage. 'Had my lunch disturbed too, so I reckon I'm owed this.' and with that I bite deeply into his neck, slicing open his skin like a surgeon with a blade. His blood flows into my mouth and I start to thrust harder, desperate to cum to complete the circle of fluids. He's groaning and pushing back deliciously at me. My balls are hitting his hard cheeks sending deep pulses through them. I grab both his thighs and lift him up so his feet are off the ground, so all his weight forces him down onto my cock. I feel myself deep inside him, hitting his prostate gland, hard. He arches back, pressing his neck more forcibly into my mouth, his backside more deeply onto my cock. I have his whole weight now, and that final extra pressure sends me over the edge. I wrap my arms around his slim waist and hold him tightly as I plant my seed deeply into him. When the last of my cold cum is shot into his tight passage, I sink to my knees, keeping both my cock and my mouth still in him.

I feed deeply for another minute or two. Until his blood is deep and has to be sucked hard to access it. Reluctantly I pull away, licking at the large tear in his neck. I'm still in him though. Still gently thrusting in my own cold cum. He is limp and pliable in my arms, so I take advantage of his rare weakness to turn him round so he is sitting in my lap facing me. I'm quite impressed with myself that I stay in him. His neck is still bleeding, so I take one finger and dip it into the precious liquid. I press my finger to his mouth and he sucks on it greedily. He starts to move on my lap, pushing the tip of his urgent erection against my belly. I know exactly what I want now. I stand up and pulling him with me go into the bathroom. Under the stream of hot water from the shower, I suck my Childe off for the second time in under an hour. But I'm full now, full of his blood. I have all the time in the world. So I make it last. By the time I allow him to cum he is practically senseless against me. I swallow his salty, cold fluid and allow his cock to rest in my mouth for a while. It's still semi-hard, even after all our exertions. I chuckle against the soft, moist flesh.

'What?' he says in a very quiet voice. 'What's so funny?'

I pull my mouth reluctantly away. 'Your new employee perks scheme Spike. Seems everyone gets something but you. Not much of a scheme, is it?'

He leans down and wraps his arms around my head, kissing deeply into my hair.

'You total tosser, Angel. Think I've just been enjoying me first bonus.'

I let Spike stay downstairs for the rest of the afternoon. He needs to feed and rest. Being drained by your Sire can be tough on any Childe, no matter how strong they are. Besides, it makes me stay in a state of constant arousal, knowing he is down there. Waiting for me. In bed. Naked.

It's only later that night, much later, after I have benefited from his earlier rest, and I am lying in his arms whilst he strokes my hair, it is only then I realise what Wesley had said.

'Spike.'

'Umm, what Luv?'

'What party?'

*****
Part 15: Spike's POV

I knew it wouldn't take long for the poof to get around to the party. Fuck I'm good. Despite having to set me own desk space up. which I think should 'ave been me new employer's job. Despite bringing in me new employee perks scheme and drawing Wes a very clear picture of exactly what his is gonna be. Yeah, good sketch that. Despite shagging the poof every which was but loose all bloody evening, despite all that concurrent activity, I've still 'ad time to plan a party.

Yeah, time Angel Investigations threw a little fund raiser. Gonna invite our grateful, alive, clients. Not all of 'em. That's the good part. Gonna invite just those who ain't fucking paid us yet. Then ole Spikey's gonna do some debt collecting. Gotta attract them to come though, so got me a nice little theme all sorted out.'come as the Demon you really are!' Nice I thought. Lets 'em get into the mood, let go a little.

Course, ain't let the poof in on the fund raising bit. He's too soft, he'll get all weepy and.'I help the helpless,' shit. Well I am helping the helpless too. Us.

Bint knows of course. Gotta have an ally. She's good she is. When money's concerned. She'd make a fucking good vampire. Mean as one now. Wes knows some of it. Not all of it. Not the bits the poof knows. I think. Oh fucking hell, planning at this level's difficult and I've had a bloody long day.

'Spike. What party?'

'We're having a party Mate. Big thank you to all our clients. Standard practice Pet in the corporate business world. Trust me.'

'I do hope that wasn't a snort of derision Angelus!'

'I don't like parties. I just can't seem to rise to the occasion somehow.'

'Err.seems to me you rose just fine last party we was at!'

'Oh. Yes.'

'So, what do you think of the theme? 'Come as the Demon you really are.'

'Angel?'

'Angel?'

'Angel! What do you think?'

'Oh fuck you then.' As much as I like to hear Angel laugh, cus it don't happen all that often, I think he could take me plan more seriously.

Humans sure do have some funny ideas 'bout demons. We've got green ones, blue ones, stupid ones, even a few fluffy ones. No real ones though. I checked. Don't want any agro when I pass the plate around.

I'll let Angel to do his bit for a couple of hours, then bugger off with Wesley. Not literally of course. Cus then I've 'ave to kill 'em. But bugger the figurative fuck off. Then Spike gets to come as the demon he really is!

It's all going real well too. I've stayed well out of the way, just watching the poof. He's a disaster as usual. How can someone so beautiful be such a total tosser at a party? But he's not even needed in this plan, so don't matter too much. Bint's in her element course. Doing a right good job of softening up the lambs before I threaten 'em with the slaughter. As I'm watching the Bint working the floor like a pro, I am totally caught unawares when a pair of strong arms slide round me from behind.

'What are you doing?' he whispers in my ear. I lean back, taking advantage of the shadowy corner I've found for meself to enjoy a quick feel of the poof's very promising bulge.

'Watching you being the life and soul Mate.' I can feel his cock twitch to my hand when I run my nail over the tip. Shit, this ain't in me plan at all. This is gonna ruin everything, cus won't be long before people'll want to go home. Got to get Angel outta the way before that.

'Upstairs now!' he hisses urgently. Oh brilliant timing poof.

'Err.kinda rude Mate. To leave yer own party!'

'Spike. Upstairs now.' He puts enough pressure on my wrist to remind me of his superior strength. Fuck. This is gonna have to be the quickest shag known to demon. I allow him to pull me towards the stairs. We don't even get to the top. Soon as we're out of sight of the party below he pushes me against the wall. He plants a deep, very tender kiss on my lips. It's so surprising I can't help but hold his face away, so I can see his expression.

'Hey, what's up Luv? What's that for?'

'That's for being gorgeous. You're not the only one who's been watching you know.'

'Fuck off poof.' I'm not all that angry, I like being beautiful. But I'll be fucked before I admit it. 'I, may I remind you, am the Big Bad. I am NOT gorgeous. I am evil.' But he only responds to this by kissing me again, soft, full kisses that send shivers down my spine, swelling my cock, making me ache for more.

'I love your hair,' and he kisses deeply into it.'I love your face,' and he repeats his action over my eyes and mouth.'I love your hands,' and the poof catches up one hand and kisses that too.

'Are you fucking drunk Mate? Cus you're acting like a tosser. Now get off me,' but he only slides both arms round my waist and pulls me into a deep embrace, just licking and kissing my neck. I try and catch a look at his watch. This is getting serious. Watcher's supposed to be getting 'im to take him off for a couple of hours. Spurious demon hunt. This is a disaster, cus now I'm so hard, I urgently need attention.

I grab Angel's hand and pull him up the rest of the stairs into the office. I shut the door and pull the blinds down. I push him against the desk and fall to my knees in front of him. He's huge, with an urgent need for relief. But I gotta fit my needs in too, so this has gotta be quick. Nothing like deep throating the ole Sire to get him off real quick. I relax my throat muscles and take all ten inches in. I let the tip of his hard shaft rub against the back wall, the tight constriction in my throat pushing his foreskin back. Then I start to move. Fast and hard I move my mouth over his cock, making sure the tip is swallowed each time. He gasps in shocked delight and digs his fingers painfully into my scalp.

'Oh God! Spike. Slow down. I'm going to.' and he does. He cums in a torrent of cold seed in my throat. I don't even need to swallow it, so far down does he manage to implant it. I pull away and stand up, getting myself out. He's in a sort of post-cum shock I think.

'Come on Angel. On yer knees Pet. Time's a moving. Got things to do.' Bad, evil things. But I ain't gonna tell 'im that. I wave my very painful erection around a bit. Just to make me point. 'Jesus Mate, just suck it will yer.' But I don't believe it. Angel chooses tonight to get inventive. Instead of falling to his knees for a quick blow job he starts to push his pants slowly off. He keeps eye contact with me and there is a definite hint of Vampire in that look. I didn't resist that look when I was alive. I sure as hell ain't gonna now I'm dead. When he's naked from the waist down, he sits back up on the edge of his desk. And.oh shit. He leans back on his elbows and lifts his feet up, effectively giving me an incredible view of his pink, puckered entrance. Incredible view. Better access. I stand in close, so my cock is rubbing against his hole. I pull my foreskin back to expose the tip and rub the soft, purple end over his tiny, rough entrance. I don't want to hurt him. But I've got nothing to use, to make it easier. But he puts one hand behind my head and squeezes almost painfully on the back of my neck.

'Just do it Spike. I want you to.I want to bleed.' His voice is low and husky and I am now so desperate to be inside him, I don't think I've have cared, even if he hadn't have been so willing. But he's willing alright. His eyes are dilated and almost feral. He's as desperate as I am. So I thrust into him, dry and unprepared. He tears and the smell of Sire ass blood permeates the air. I rear up in ecstasy and go instantly into game face. Only I can feel the slickness and warmth of his borrowed blood on my cold cock, but it is sensational. But we can both see it. It's the most erotic thing I ever see and I never tire of looking at it. My thick shaft, moving in and out of his stretched hole. But this time there's the added stiffener of the sight of the blood. He sits up slightly so he can watch too. It clearly has an effect cus his cock is swelling up again. He catches hold of my hands and puts them to his thick shaft. He leans back on his arms again, watching me thrust into him, and stroke his engorged cock at the same time. I pull him slightly forward on the desk and trust again and that hits the spot. He arches back and cries out, a high, animalistic cry. He's practically lifted his whole body off the desk now, taking his weight on his hands and he's thrusting down as I push up. I feel him coming before me, and I let him. I take a firmer grasp on his shaft and pump his cum out onto his waiting belly. When he is fully spent, I put my hands under his hips and that extra pressure brings me off and I bury my cold seed deep into his body.

After a while he puts his feet back down and sitting up pulls me into a soft, gentle embrace. As I slide out of him, I can still feel the warn lubrication of his blood on my cock. I look him in the eye and see the same thought there as I am having. He pushes on the top of my head, just to make his wishes clear and I kneel in front of him again. Once again he positions himself on the desk to give me access to his hole. It's weeping cum and blood. I put my mouth over the whole area and flick my tongue to and fro over the slick, puckered surface. He hisses and pushes my head harder in, trying to maximize the contact. The taste of his blood is incredible. I take my time. This is too good to rush. I lick all over his thighs, cleaning every drop of precious fluid, returning all the time to the center. Eventually when he is all clean, I finish the job by plunging my tongue into his hole, licking up and down as far as I can reach, till his small tears heal and he is tight and whole again. I sit back on my heels and look up at him, only to find that he has been watching me this whole time. He puts his hand down and ruffles my hair slightly, cupping my face and rubbing his thumb over my cheek bones. He smiles at me. And of all the acts we have done tonight, it's that smile I wouldn't swap. That smile I wouldn't want to forget. Cus I'm the only one who gets to see that smile. It's all mine. All for me. I catch one of his fingers in my mouth as it passes over my lips. I bite down just hard enough to remind him that I am NOT gorgeous. Just enough to remind him that I really AM evil.even though I'm keeling at his feet like a bleedin' supplicant.

But he only responds by sliding down onto the floor in front of me so we are both kneeling facing each other. And he proceeds to kiss me until I forget who I am. Till I forget where we are. Till I forget quite why I am not gorgeous. Cus he makes me feel like I am.

It seems quite a long time later that I hear the Bint's voice calling me. Our eyes fly open and we start pulling on our pants. By the time she finds us, Angel is in his chair reading and I'm on the couch inspecting me varnish.

She's incandescent with rage. All of it directed at me. It's four in the morning apparently. Apparently they have all gone home. Apparently it's all my fault and where the fuck was I? And do I realise we have just paid out hundreds of dollars on food and drink for them all and they all left. With no Spike collection plate being passed around.

I cast a sly glance over at the poof. Bint's running off at the mouth, don't want the ole Sire to think he's been tricked. That's not what I'm about these days with 'im. That's not what we're about.

Oh bloody hell. Angel's just looking at me with a fucking grin so wide I could put me cock in sidewards.

'You tosser. You total tosser. You knew. The fucking wanking Watcher told yer didn't he. All this,' and I wave vaguely at the desk and the small, damp patch on the carpet, 'all this, has been to keep me distracted?' I storm out, down to the apartment. Cus it's not that he knew. Hell, I can take that. That's just bad planning. Oh no, it's not that. It's that he called me beautiful.but didn't mean it. It's that he kissed me as if he loved me.but didn't mean it. It's that he smiled at me.but it wasn't cus it was me.

*****
Part 16:

Eventually I run out of things to break so I strip off and fling myself on the bed. I know I'm reverting to that needy minion shit I told him I was giving up. But fuck. It was supposed to be both of us changing. Both of us making an effort. Seems to me, it's all been me doing all the hard work. I hear him come in behind me. I'm good at feigning indifference. You get good at it when everybody in yer life shits on you. I think he's going to slide in next to me, so I'm kinda surprised when he grabs my wrists and pins me face down on the bed.and lies on me. Angel's at least forty pounds heavier than me, so no way am I gonna move some time soon. But I ain't gonna give in without a fight. I writhe around trying to buck him off. But he only leans in to whisper in my ear.'I'm really enjoying this. Wriggle some more.'

'Fuck you.' I scream at him. 'Get off me NOW! I am not your fucking Childe anymore. Remember?'

'Spike. Calm down.'

'How fucking dare you say that to me. Get off NOW!' I'm practically crying with frustration, cus I really want him to get off. Don't want him to see me cry.

'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'

What? What is the git trying to trick me with now? 'Cus you are a total wanker. NOW GET OFF.'

'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'

'Are you fucking mad? I've just told you. You were playing soddin' games with me head, that's why.'

'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'

'Ahhhh.shut up. Shut up. Let me up. Shut up. What do you want me to say?'

'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'

'Oh Shit, just let me go already. Cus I am. There! Happy? Cus I bleeding am.' And I don't believe it, but he just chuckles against my bare back, and places sweet, gentle kisses up my spine.

'Spike. Why did I tell you, you are gorgeous?'

I can't help but laugh too, 'cus you are a poof that's why Angelus, and cus I fucking am. I am. And you fancy me. Now let me up.' And he does. But slowly, releasing one wrist at a time, kissing all the way up each arm as he lets go, turning me over slowly, kissing around my side and over my belly. He slides in behind me, spooning me to him and just rubs his hand lightly round and round on my thigh.

'Don't ever doubt me again Spike. I don't like it.'

'Bully.'

'No.just boss.'

'Shirt lifter.'

'Ass licker.'

'Angel!'

`Spike?'

`Spike?'

`Umm.'

`Are you asleep?'

`Is that the stuff that when you're doin' it you can't talk to poofs. Cus if it is, then yeah, I am.' But I don't try too hard to convince him cus I'm really hoping that the hand he is swirling over my hip will dip down to my ever-willing cock. Doesn't. Dips the other way. Only Angel could have a rational conversation whilst pushing two fingers in and out of me arse. Won't tell `im he doesn't need to. Won't tell `im just lying here with `im, talking is what I wanted. What I love. Nah, won't tell `im cus I love shagging too!

`Why didn't you tell me what you were planning Spike?'

`Cus you're a...ahhh, yeah, just there...wuss Mate. You'd have stopped me and we need the friggin' cash!'

`We got it.'

`Eh?'

`Wesley got it...whilst we were...err...otherwise engaged.'

`The bleedin' turncoat!'

`He's not Spike, he's my loyal employee and my friend...you on the otherhand...'

`That hand'll do nicely Pet...ahh, again, just there, umm,' and he pushes another finger in. He starts stretching his fingers apart, scratching his nails down my inner walls. I practically leap off the edge of the bed. So he calms down and just gently slides them in and out, in and out. He clearly doesn't want me to come just yet.

`Spike.'

`What?' It's real hard to talk when you're picturing your Sire's arse bleeding and weeping round your thick cock. `What?'

`Don't grow up too fast. Please.'

Now that's a show-stopper. I pull off his fingers and turn in the bed to find him propped up on his elbow, watching me. I mirror his position and match his gaze.

`You will always be my Childe Spike. Even though you're now my...' he frowns and looks away.

`What?' I say, with an embarrassingly rising note in my voice. `What am I now?'

`I don't know Spike. I've been thinking about it at lot since your...dream. Since we've started anew. And I just don't know.' He seems genuinely sad and worried. He plucks nervously at the sheet while he talks, not catching my eye now. `It was all so simple then. You were the favorite of all my Childer. The most beloved...but I loved you all. You know that...we all loved...together. There was rarely just the two of us. Then when you came to LA we were like that again, Sire and Childe. Only we were alone. But now?' and he looks me straight in the eye, `I'd kill you if there was anyone else Spike. So what does that make us?'

`Err...lovers Pet?' He looks aghast. Sick even.

`No! We're not lovers! That's...god, I hate to use one of your expressions, that's too poofy! I am NOT a poof!'

`Yes you are,' I say mildly.

`Well, what about you then?' he retorts, clearly quite upset by the turn of this conversation. `You're not...poofy...how would you like someone to call me your lover!'

Oh fucking hell! I'll be wearing denim shorts next.

`No fucking way on this earth Mate are you my lover! It's too hideous to think about.' This is blood. Guts. Fucking need. `I fuck you...I do NOT make love to you. I am NOT your lover.'

`You suggested it Spike. You said lovers. Not me!'

Oh God. I roll over onto my back and he does the same and we stare at the ceiling from our respective sides of the bed.

`Partners?'

`Oh Christ...that's worse!'

`Companions?'

`Not in this un-lifetime.'

`Sleeping friends?'

`Fuck off.'

`Soulmates?'

`Ain't got one.'

`Boy...ouch!'

`Hard warriors who follow a Vampire code of male bonding rituals?'

`Better, but a bit long for initial introductions to clients.'

`Close frie...ouch! Stop hitting me.'

`Sire and Childe?'

`Sire and favorite Childe?'

`Sire and only Childe left. Ow!'

`Sire and most favored of all Childer.'

`Kind of long again.'

`No names then Mate? Just us. No labels?'

`So I'll tell them you are my...undefined relationship shall I?'

`Tell who?'

`Cordelia and Wesley. Isn't that what we've been discussing, what to tell Cordy and Wes, about us?'

`Oh. They already know. Hey! Don't growl at me Pet. I think the fact that we've been permanently hard for the last two weeks, often...rumpled...frequently showering...constantly coming down here for `training sessions,' rather gave it away. So I told `em. Only fair really.'

`What did you tell them Spike. About us. Exactly what favored term did you use to describe...this,' he sits up and swings his legs off the bed, facing away from me. He's clearly angry, his back is all tense and rigid.

I slide over to him and just rest lightly against him. He doesn't pull away.

`It was easy Pet. I just told `em that we're family. We're blood. We're forever.'

It's some time before we both pull apart enough to speak again. The frenzy of his need for me seemed overwhelming. But something is clearly still bothering him. He looks at me with those huge brown eyes, raw with pain and doubt.

`So this is just...fucking then is it Spike? Is that all you're doing with me?'

`Oh you total tosser Angel. I just knew you wouldn't let that get past ya. What do you think Mate? What do you think I'm doing when I do this...' and I kiss him, gently over both eyes. `What do you think this is all about...' I move down and bite his nipple till it is erect and hard. `And this...?' I swallow the end of his cock, pushing my tongue against the slit, pulling his foreskin up around us both. `This is all just fucking, you reckon Mate?'

He pulls me up till I am half lying on his chest and smiles at me, kissing me deeply. Then holding me tightly to him he falls asleep with his face resting on my hair.

I'm not sure what's been decided in this bed tonight. I never really know what goes on in the poof's deep, angst-filled brain. But I reckon he's about as happy tonight as he's ever gonna get. Family. Blood. Forever. Don't get any better than that.

*****

Part 17: Angel's POV

Over the next few weeks I became increasingly protective, possessive even, of Spike. I knew that I was doing it, but I couldn't stop. Family. Blood. Forever. That's what he had said. Did he realise just how rare that was?

I let the others go out, when and where they pleased, but not Spike. I couldn't bear to let him out of my sight, for fear. Fear of losing him. Because then there would be nothing. No body. No clothes. No remains of any sort to let me know how, and where he had gone. He would vanish into dust and there would be no evidence of his death for me to have certainty of my loss. So I couldn't bear to let him leave my side. I made excuses to accompany him everywhere.

I treasure him because he is something so rare and precious I could never replace him. I know humans think they feel that too. But it's not the same...you can always replace them, eventually. Even a beloved child...when your heart is broken beyond measure...time heals, grief lessens. Others come along to replace the lost one. And human lives are short. But not ours. Our grief is eternal. And Spike is unique, my own Childe who has been chipped. I could never find a Vampire companion like him again. If I lost him. How could I replace him? Now I have him, I can't bear the thought of losing him and being alone again.

I know he notices my possessiveness. I think he even finds it embarrassing in front of the others. Does he think it demeans him?

Things come to a head one day when I come out of my office to find Spike...not there.

`Where's Spike,' I must ask that question a hundred times a day, if he goes downstairs, if he goes up to the roof. If he is only a few feet out of sight.

`He's gone out to meet a new client.'

`What!' I am so angry I think, for a moment that I can hear Angelus climbing slowly up from the deep, deep basement I have buried him in.

`Why wasn't I told? You know I wouldn't have let him...' they are both looking at me with `duh' expressions on their faces.

`Quite frankly Angel, I'm surprised he stuck it this long. You will just have to learn to trust him.'

`Trust him?'

`You...not trusting Spike. I really think he has earned your trust.'

Oh. My. God. Oh my God, is that what he thought? That I didn't trust him? And now I've lost him forever. I'm alone. For eternity. I'll never...

`Fucking waste of time that was. Fun though'. Oh. He's back. Cordelia and Wesley make the hastiest retreat from the office I have ever seen. Leaving us alone. Together.

`Where's the fire,' he says to their retreating backs.

I don't know whether to go over and hug him to me or go over and break his nose. Both seem equally attractive options and equally fitting.

So I do neither. I turn and go quickly downstairs.

I am completely undone by this beautiful, annoying, sexy, manic Childe of mine. He has such a large place in my dead heart that there is little of me actually left in there. Undone.

I sense him following me down. I throw myself onto the couch and bow my head, putting my face into my hands. He stands a few feet away quietly.

I can't move. I am paralysed by the fear. Fear of losing him. Fear I had lost him. I don't expect him to understand. How can he? But once more he surprises me. Instead of his usual...'hit-nuclear-instant-reaction-to-any-situation,' he stays calmly assessing me.

`What's wrong Pet? What's just happened here?'

I just shake my head a little, face buried deep in the palms of my hands. I can't look at him.

He sits down alongside me and pulls one of my hands away, into his lap. He starts playing with my fingers, bending them, opening and closing them, entwining them with his own.

`Angel. Don't do this. Talk to me. I thought we agreed...you know...to talk `bout stuff.'

I lean back and turn to look at him. `You wouldn't understand.'

`Try me.'

I take a deep unnecessary breath. `I don't...I don't think I can do this with you any more Spike.'

His fingers still. I feel an immediate jolt of tension form in his body. His voice sounds forced and false even to me, `Really Pet. Now why would that be then? Got bored with me already have you, in what...four weeks? Almost a record for you Angelus.'

He starts to pull away, but I hold his hand now in a vice-like grip. With my other hand I force his head around so he is looking at me. His voice may have achieved calm and rational, but his face is all hurt and fury and despair.

`Do you remember, you said in your dream you saw me die? Do you remember?'

He nods and tries still to pull away. I don't let him. `Well it's like that Spike...in my head...every moment you are out of my sight. I see you dying...I see you die...dust...nothing. Every time Spike. I can't do it anymore. It's too much. Too much to bear.'

How quickly expressions flit across the mobile features of my beautiful Childe. From despair and hurt to total derision with one cock of a scarred eyebrow.

`Are you yanking my chain Angelus?'

`Err...' not the reaction I was expecting to my best soul-searching speech. `You did ask me to tell you...well that's what I was thinking.'

`You. Are. A. Tosser,' he says very slowly and very loudly, his face one inch from mine. `So, you need me so much you'd want me to go?'

`Yes.'

`So you won't have to risk losing me.'

`Yes, I just said that.'

`So, to prevent losing me, I go.'

`Err...yes.'

`So, to prevent losing me, you lose me'

`Umm...yes...no!'

`Whereas you could have me, and not lose me.'

`Eh?'

`Don't think anymore Pet. Your brains ain't your best feature...and don't ask me what that is...I'll show yer shall I?'

It takes him quite a while to get around to what he considers to be my best feature. He decides to rate my whole body on a strange Spike-grading system. So every part is examined, tested and evaluated. For what I'm not quite sure. I think I've done enough thinking for one night. I just go with the flow.

But the time he reaches my cock with his soft, talented mouth, I am beyond caring where he rates it anyway. By the time he sucks me off into an explosive orgasm, I've forgotten I even had a body to be rated. I am just a scream in my head, screaming his name.

Much later that night, in the comfort of our bed, I sense he, like me, is still awake in the dark. I pull him into my arms and he willingly relaxes his tense, cold body against mine.

`So last few weeks ain't been about trust then Mate? Thought you still didn't trust me you know.'

`I'm sorry. I don't...express what I feel very well. It's still difficult for me you know.'

`Oh, never have known Luv. You're hiding it well.' I slap him playfully. I sense he's working up to some sort of point here. `You know you are wrong. About me. Not understanding Luv. I do. Remember, you only imagine me being staked. I actually saw you going. So I do know. It kind of...undoes you. Like being taken apart. I couldn't save you. So I do know.'

I lift his head to see his face. I am humbled. He does understand. We lie for a while in the dark, just holding and thinking.

`What are we going to do then? You gotta let go Mate, you know that. Can't keep me on a leash.'

`We tried that once...remember?' and I chuckle at the memory.

`Weren't funny from where I was at the time Mate,' he says with an aggrieved tone to his voice. `Oh, and I think it wholly inappropriate for your cock to be doing that, when you're thinking about torturing me.'

`You were not being tortured. You were being house trained.'

`Stop fucking giggling Angel. It's not bloody funny. Not then. Not now.'

`We put your blood in a little bowl for you - remember? With `Spike' on the side and a paw print?'

`Shut up fucker!'

But I can't help it. I don't laugh much, but the tension from the previous two weeks just seems to snap me and leave me out of control and loose. I can't get the picture of Spike on his hands and knees out of my mind. `Darla drew whiskers, remember? Here and...' I try to run a finger over his beautiful cheekbones, but he retaliates and bites it viciously to the bone. The smell of blood arouses us beyond belief. Before I know what I am doing, I reach over to the side of the bed and pick up his leather belt that he habitually throws down with the rest of his clothes on the floor. I pull it into the bed with us and move it suggestively around in front of him. His eyes go wide with surprise and lust, so I start to fasten it around his neck. He doesn't resist. The sight of him with this restraint makes me frenzied. I sit on him and push his knees back up to his head. I take my throbbing, bleeding finger and start to swirl it around his tight entrance, holding tightly to the loose end of the belt with the other hand. The red, viscous fluid makes a pretty pattern on his stark, white skin. But he surprises me again. He pushes me back onto the bed and takes my place. His eyes are dilated, his cock, swaying and engorged, the belt round his neck a stark, beautiful divide on his pale, perfect skin.

`Let me. I want you.' maybe it was my teasing, or maybe this potent re-enactment of his ancient subservience to me, but he seems to need to reassert himself now.

So I pull my legs back for him and expose my entrance. He grins seductively in the dark and grabs my bleeding finger. He raises his eyebrow and licks his lips. I wonder what he has planned when he suddenly pushes my own finger against my hole.

`Lubricate yourself for me,' he whispers.

Oh. I don't know. I don't know whether I can do this act. It seems too demeaning somehow, with him watching. But when I don't respond immediately to his demand, he raises his hand and slaps me hard on one raised cheek. How does he manage this? How does he manage to turn the tables so effectively? How does he manage to slide in and out of his roles so effortlessly? One minute my subservient, on a leash, the next dominating and in control. I don't realise my mistake, hesitating again, until his hand comes down once more, even harder. `Come on Angel. I'm waiting. Do it.' So I do. I take my bleeding finger and I push it slowly into my own entrance, moving it around so my blood coats the tight muscle, so I am slick and ready for him. He puts his own hand lightly on mine as I perform this act for him. I've never seen him so hard, so ready, he seems beside himself with need. He pulls my finger out and with one hard push, places his cock deep within me. As he settles in and gives me time to adjust he takes the finger, still seeping tiny droplets of blood, and puts it in his mouth.

He took over an hour to come. Long, slow strokes deep in my body: soft, sensual sucking on my finger. When he felt that I was near the edge, he would stop thrusting so deeply, bringing me back down, drawing out the ecstasy and the agony. He allowed me to hold myself with my free hand, but wouldn't let me make more than a pretence at bringing myself to orgasm. He wanted that all for himself. When he had had enough fun, he released my finger, bent down and took my cock in his mouth. Then he applied himself for real. His thrusts became hard and urgent. He hit my spot again and again. He put his thumbs on my balls and pressed them hard. He used his tongue on my slit and sucked me with tight, hard lips. By the end I was screaming. Incoherent, Vampire screams of pain and pleasure. I came in an eruption of cold cum in his mouth and he swallowed deeply, sucking me dry. Then he reared back on his knees, placed his hands on my thighs and pushed them back till my knees practically touched the bed either side of my head. With such incredible access, he became frenzied. He thrust so hard I felt my head banging against the headboard on every stroke. I didn't know any body could take such pounding, even a Vampire body. With his eyes tightly screwed shut, his face contorted with the rush of his impending orgasm he started panting, quick, fast gasps for unnecessary air. Then with a huge intake of breath he went rigid against me as his flood of cum implanted deep in my body. He milked himself dry against me, then slowly collapsed down till he was lying in a spent heap between my legs. After a while I hear a low, quiet chuckle. I stroke his hair, mussing the blond strands up into little peaks between my fingers, tugging lightly on the end of the belt, pretending to tighten it and release it, tighten and release, in a soft, hypnotic rhythm. He chuckles again, and I just have to ask.

`What? What are you laughing at?'

`Nothing Pet. Just wondering if this was a good time to go now. To save yer from not having me any more. What do you...' but he can't even finish, he's laughing too much.

I'm far too spent and tired to want to continue with his, `wind-up-Angel,' game of the moment. I pull him up, over my body and silence him with a deep kiss, releasing him from his restraint. I won't tell him how my fear has now increased. I won't tell him that by every surprising, intimate act he performs with me here in the dark he only undoes me more.

I thought, lying in that bed with Spike, totally spent and aching from the abuse his body had given mine, that I could not love him more. How was I to know then, just how true the saying is, that you only really appreciate something when you lose it?

*****