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Thursday Morning Exorcism Blues
(a non-literal, non-linear translation)
Have you ever thought it might be mildly therapeutic if you could condense all your relationship problems and sexual frustrations into one manageably-sized chunk that you could then turn sideways for its humorous value and set within a traditional 12-Bar Blues structure? Yeah? Me too.
"Thursday Morning Exorcism Blues" is one of my attempts at this form of self-help therapy. And yes, this particular exercise in venting originally provided some measure of momentary release and relief, plus a little bit of wicked satisfaction. (Hmm... Do you think I could build a lucrative Pop-Psych Love/Sex/Relationship Self-Help Empire based on having followers write their own novelty Blues songs? Think there might be a vast, untapped niche market there? Could be.)
I've written a video script for a comedy sketch that features this song. I've posted it elsewhere on this site.
Read the lyrics below or skip to the Lead Sheet for the words and music. —BD
Thursday Morning Exorcism Blues
(a non-literal, non-linear translation)
Words and Music by David R. Lister
Well, I got a worried woman
She's as blue as she can be
Well, I got a worried woman
She's as blue as she can be
I'd help her shuck off all her troubles
But she wants to shuck 'em all off on me
And shucks, what's a fella to do?
She's my neurotic mama
She don't think too rationally
She's a stone neurotic mama
She don't think too rationally
And now my life has much more drama
Than some soap opera on the TV
Except there ain't no commercials
To break the tension, friend
Well, she tells me that she loves me
But she sure don't show it in bed
Well, she tells me that she loves me
But she sure don't show it in bed
I think I'll go to a monastery
Shave a bald spot on my head
It's sorta like going bald
From not having balled
Seems my efforts to help her
Just bring me rejection and pain
Seems my efforts to help her
Just bring me rejection and pain
Hey, she may be a bit neurotic
But she's sure driving me quite insane
(as if howling at the moon)
Ah-ooooooooooooooooo!
Well, I got a worried woman
She's as blue as blue is blue
Yes, I got a worried woman
She's as blue as blue is blue
My last defense I learned in infancy
I'll hold my breath till I turn blue too
Here I go!
(Intermittent grunting, as if straining to hold breath for 12 bars;
then frantic gasping, followed by noisy collapse to floor)
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