Scene: New York City, New York | On The Set of Ebert & Roeper
Time: Monday, 12:01 AM Eastern Standard Time
Next Match: Vs. Rob Van Dam @ InsurreXtion [ Tables Match ][-1-] INSURREXTION... it will be the special Inter-Brand United Kingdom Tour to replace both the Raw and SmackDown Brand Television shows for the week after Over The Edge. and Speaking of Over The Edge, how about that for The WWF's First Return Pay Per View. Now it may not been up to both Shane and Vince McMahons full expectations but it was still a pretty good overall showing none the less. But now it is onto Month two for The WWF, SmackDown and Raw alike and both of the shows Superstars i'm sure are all hoping to get started on the right foot going into the next Pay Per View. In an odd twist of fate Shawn Michaels won The WWF World Heavyweight Championship and neither Edge nor Taz, the 2 men who originally started out in the match won the championship. Eric Bischoff added Shawn Michaels into the match at the last minute turning it into a Triple Threat Match and HBK, after defeating Randy Orton not an hour prior to that picked up a Second win and the coveted Championship for the SmackDown Brand. On the other side of the fence on Raw.. Christian overcame all of the odds and walked out of The Elimination Chamber atleast breathing and crawling with The XWF [Raw] World Heavyweight Championship and will get another chance at WWF Gold when he faces Zach Gowen for The Intercontinental Championship. But nobody gives a crap about those matches no, no. The only match that matters is The Table Match beetween 2 Raw Superstars, Rob Van Dam... and THE ROCK! That's right Ladies and Gentleman, The Rock will be in action at Insurrextion from The United Kingdom over seas and himself and former ECW Television Champion Rob Van Dam will go head to head and try to be the first man to put his opponent through a Table to win the Match. So who will come out on top of this intense matchup? Will The Rock pickup another win after a Successful (Yeah Right) win against Raven, or will Rob Van Dam pick up a win to add to his new Raw resume. And where does Kane stand in all of this? It's obvious the two are a team and Kane doesn't like The Rock. He damn near took The Rocks head off with a viscious chokeslam at Over The Edge shortly after his match making it damn clear what his and Rob Van Dam's intentions are. So InsureXtion is looking to be a very promising event and (HOPEFULLY) a turnaround for The WWF entirely. But what will The Rock have to say about all these new faces in the WWF? I guess we'll just have to ask him the next time you see him Jabroni. [-1-]" RVD Gets The Rundown.. "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " Hello Ladies and Gentleman and welcome to yet another Movie Review from myself and my buddy Roger Ebert over here to my right. Tonight we will Review Eight of The Summer Ending Movies of Two Thousand and Three. "
"BIG THUMB" - Roger Ebert: " Well yes we're back for another installment of both of our Movie Reviews and we're just going to up and get this show on the road by starting off with a newly.. and I put an emphasis on NEW released end of Summer Flick.. yes you're eyes aren't decieving you, yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre has come to us. "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " Yes you're correct Roger the fourth installment of this Brutal Murder Themed Movie is back at it again and heading right for us.. or straight for the Dumpster. "
Scene: A small clip of the movie is played where Jessica Biel is speaking.
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " As you can tell the Movie Lacks the old ones appeal, a definite Thumbs Down. "
"BIG THUMB" - Roger Ebert: " Yes i'd have to agree with you on this one Richard, it just isn't the same as it was back in the Seventies and Eighties. Whoever decided to bring this one back for another run wasn't thinking too straight or was under the diress of The Massacre Man himself if you know what I mean. I too give this one a definite Thumbs Down. "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " And now we will move on too our Second Movie of the night and the Newest Movie of them all. "
"BIG THUMB" - Roger Ebert: " Now this Movie is being looked at very highly because of one Actor in particular. Playing the lead Role of quite possibly the biggest end of Summer Hit is WWF Superstar, The Rock. "
Scene: Another Clip is played, this time one with The Rock and Seann William Scott (Stifler) arguing over a bathroom break.
"BIG THUMB" - Roger Ebert: " Now Folks'.. usually the case of a Pro-Athelete or Model type takes a stab at The Movie Business more than half of the time it doesn't turn out pretty. But I for one enjoyed The Rocks presence in The Rundown and he's definately a shoe-in for the beat-um-up bully type in this crazy twist of a Movie also starring Christopher Walken. "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " Well you know what Roger I'm going to have to disagree with your decision on this Movie whole heartidly. To be honest I believe that The Rock should stick to being a WWF Superstar and dropping his Elbows and Piledrivers than distributing the same Shoot and Punch Movies that many of us have grown tired of seeing. I have to give this movie a Thumbs Down. So we shall move on now to our next and third Movie of the night, oddly entitled... "
Scene: Before he even knows what the hell is going on The Rock strange as it is storms onto the set where Ebert and Roeper are properly seated. The Rock walks up to the stage where both men have resided and stands on the side of Richard Roepers' chair and gives him a smack in the back of the head for good measure.
The GREAT ¹ - THE ROCK: " AHHHHHHHHHH SHUT YOUR MOUTH JABRONI!.. The Rock has heard enough of your mambo jambo, The Rock is standing backstage knowing damn well that one of you Jabronies were going to talk bad about The Rocks movie. But you proved The Rock wrong when only one of you disliked The Rock in The Rundown. But you, The White Steve Urkel.. who in the blue hell do you think you are talking bad about The Rock and his new movie The Rundown?! Speak up Jabroni The Rock doesn't have all day! "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " Well Rock I.. "
The GREAT ¹ - THE ROCK: " IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE, You Piece of Monkey Crap! The Rock knows who you are, you were in Family Matters, The Rock loved you in that show, but you know what Jabroni.. The Rock doesn't give a damn that you don't like The Rocks new Movie, oh no. You see The Rock doesn't give a damn what you or your pudgy little friend over here think of The Rundown or The Rock himself because you are only a very little.. AND THE ROCK MEANS.. Very Little Jabronies that don't like The Rock or his Movies.It's The People who matter, you two.. well The Rock will put it simply for you because The Rock knows you're both a little slow. Both of you.. Just Don't Matter to The Rock or his Millions and Millions of fans. "
"BIG THUMB" - Roger Ebert: " Now Rock.. I don't know who invited you here and I don't mean to interupt your point you're trying to make but we've got a show to do and only Thirty, now Twenty Minutes to do it if you Don't mind. "
The GREAT ¹ - THE ROCK: " Oh is that right? It's a show that you two Beady-Eyed Jabronies are doing here.. You don't think that The Rock is fully aware of this little show of yours?! I've seen your show, oh yeah The Rock has watched you two and he's onto you.. oh yeah The Rock is onto you both. The two of you spend more time Rating yourselves than the Movies. You see The Rock knows that you two play a little ball for the Away team If You Smell What The Rock is Cookin', The Rock knows that you're a Little Koom-See Koom-Sa. But The Rock will let you carry on with your little show when The Rock is finished with what he has to say. But The Rock will tell you this.. you're show couldn't get any more of a borefest so The Rock thought that he'd do both you Jabronies a Favor and spice things up a little on the set of The Beady Eyed Sonuvabitch Duos' Movie Review! Oh Yeah The Rock likes the sound of that. So now all of The Rocks fans can see The Rock, feel the Electricity from The Rock and know that this Thursday Night.. at InsurreXtion.. The Rock is Going to Lay The SmackDown on Rob Van Dam and than go on to beat the hell out of his Burnt Bitch of a friend Kane, get a little Payback for what he did to The Rock after The Rock pinned Raven one, two, three in the match at Over The Edge. Because Kane, if you think for one second that The Rock has forgot about you, well Jabroni you're Dead Wrong because The Rock doesn't forget about those who attack him from behind, it just Doesn't Happen Jabroni. "
"little thumb" - Richard Roeper: " Rock could we please get this show underway.. we're running short on time and have a couple of more movies to review. And how did Security even let you in here? You weren't Invited. "
The GREAT ¹ - THE ROCK: " We're running out of time, Movies, Movies, Movies. SHUT YOUR MOUTH JABRONI! The Rock wasn't done speaking and if you cut The Rock off again he'll shave that Bony Little Thumb of yours Straight up Your Candy Ass! The Rock'll allow Christopher Creampuff over there to talk back because he gave The Rundown a Thumbs Up. You on the other hand aren't so Lucky. You See The Rock didn't come hear to talk about his new Movie in theatres right now, oh no The Rock came here to get a couple things off The Peoples Chest. Now The Rock knows there's alot of guys on The Raw.. and hell maybe even The SmackDown Roster that just might not like The Rocks style. But The Rock knows, no.. The Rock GUARAN-DAMN-TEES that there are two Jabronies in particular that want The Rock to do nothing more than fail. Well it just doesn't work that way you see.. The Rocks first word was WINNER. Yeah that's right The Rock was born a Winner and The Rock will continue to be a winner and at InsurreXtion The Rock will continue to Lay The SmackDown on any Jabroni stupid enough to step in his way on Raw. Kane will get his and his little hand holding Pal Rob Van Dam will get a little taste of The Rock sooner than he knows it, oh yeah Baby The Rock can't wait! Because when The Rocks music is heard for the second time on Thursday Night and Rob Van Dam is covered in Splinters head to toe he will call RVD's Little Boyfriend Kane on down to The Peoples Ring and Proceed in Beating the hell out of Kane until he's Pretty right there in Jolly Old England. So Rob Van Dam.. Kane.. The Queen of England herself, it Doesn't Matter to The Rock. Bring your asses on down to the ring this Thursday Night and The Rock will set the story straight once and for all. And than each and every man, women and child on the Raw and SmackDown rosters will know that You Never Mess.. With The Rock. So Rob Van Dam I hope you're ready because come Thursday When your laying on your back after recieving a Rock Bottom courtesy of The Rock himself Jabroni, Splinters all over your back! Because Rob Van Dam if you're not Ready for The Rock, You Better Damn Well Prepare your Ass and.. "
 [-1-] Rock pulls a chair up right next to Roeper and Signals for them to continue on with the show since he's done with what he had to say. Not being entirely stupid both men carry on with the show not even questioning The Rocks new authority on the set. The cameras cut to a commercial but the show does look as if it will continue right after this commercial break. Too bad we wont get to see it eh? HA! [-1-]
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