Jeri-Tron 2003: Well being that Christmas is almost upon us and thousands upon thousands of people are flocking to the shopping centers, malls, and anywhere else they can find their Christmas Gifts, where else would you think to find Chris Jericho at? Amongst all of his Jerichoholics of course. Yes that's right, Chris Jericho himself is out Christmas shopping along with Ralphus inside the busy St. Louis mall. Jericho is inside a dressing room trying some things on for himself as Ralphus waits patiently outside and Jericho yells out to him from the inside.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " You know something Ralphus my boy. When I win that Elimination Chamber Match Next Saturday on Xplosion! I will officially be The NWA:TNA's biggest and brightest Superstar, not that I'm not already. Because lets face it Junior, there isn't anyone better than The King of The World, The HIGH-LIGHT of The Night. Because when it comes down to it Ralphus, nobody cares about Jamie Noble, AJ Styles, Matt Hardy, or even that Genetic Jackass Batista. They all want to see me win that match and go on to face whomever is unlucky enough to come in second place compared to yours truly. Because that's all it really will be, whoever wins this match with Chris Jericho will still be the runner-up when it comes down to it Ralphus, wait and see. My performance will knock the socks off all my unworthy opponents. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Chris steps out of the dressing room and notices Ralphus isn't the only person standing outside waiting for Jericho to get out as well. A line has formed now with about Six very unhappy, and unpatient Christmas Shoppers wanting to try some things on. And as Chris walks out not even bothering to close the door behind him we notice he's still in the same clothes that he went in with and in fact has been taking up the room for twenty minutes now checking out some new sunglasses, not clothes.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Hey don't you dare look at me Juniors.. Just because I'm not like you people. You run around frantically the day after Thanksgiving on up to Christmas Day itself and blame the smart shoppers, who shopped before hand and used their damn brains, for getting in your way. Well not me Baby, I'll take as long as I want and if Chris Jericho wants to take up one out of the only three dressing rooms for as long as he wants than Damnit he can. Let's go Ralphus this store sucks anyways. "

Pleasantly Plump -] Ralphus: " Okay Chris.. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Ralphus and Chris Jericho exit the store leaving behind a complete mess as the women and men in line fight over the only remaining dressing room in a frantic rush.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Can you believe how rude those people were Ralphus? It seems to be the same way about The NWA:TNA Roster. All of those Damn Ass Clowns in this Hell In A Cell Match actually think that they stand a chance against me.. the hottest thing since Kurt Warner of the St. Louis Rams, only better because Chris Jericho doesn't choke when it comes to monumental occasions and I'm a hell of alot better looking, than him. Hell, you're even more attractive than Kurt Warner Ralphus. As a matter of fact, I bet if you tried out for the St. Louis Rams that you would be their star player in no time, because that's how much St. Louis sucks. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Chris and Ralphus both walk up to a little cart/booth that is setup in the middle of the malls walking space where little Game Boys and other assorted things are being sold. Jericho picks up one and tosses it to Ralphus.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Quick Ralphus, It's Time Too Play The Game-UHHHHH!!! That right there is what Triple H is always talking about. Instead of getting his head out of his ass he's always busy playing video games, no wonder why he's such a god damn Ass Clown. Does he honestly think he has what it takes to beat yours truly inside of that Hell In A Cell? There's a reason why Stephanie McMahon is in my corner and not his, and that's because Hunter Hearst HOMO is a Joke, and because he just can't seem to keep it up in bed.. atleast that's what I've heard from Stephanie, don't blame the messenger Junior. Evolution is a Mystery alright.. a Mystery as to how in the hell Triple H can't get it up in bed?!.. So Triple H wants to get personal and say that he's going to take me out in that Hell In A Cell Match huh? well that just isn't going to happen Hunter. I'm a much better Wrestler than Triple H, and a much better Love Maker to boot. If you compare Chris Jericho to Triple H I will always be the better man in every case and the story will be no different on Sunday.. I will walk out of The Hell In A Cell and following far, far behind in Second Place will be a man who will have to endure walking in my Shadow all the way up until he too surcomes to The Walls of Jericho and I will be crowned The NWA:TNA United States Champion without a catch. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Ralphus is still toying around with the Game Boy still attempting to figure out where the ON switch is as Chris snatches it from his hands and tosses it back to where it came from as they continue walking through the crowd of people. Some too busy to even notice who he is and others who may not know Chris at all just pass by giving him and Ralphus a second glance now and than.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Look at all these Jerkies, running around frantically.. pulling each others hair out just to get a Toy for their Little Johnny or to get that dress for Little Suzy. But for what? For that one morning where they can wake up to a lie, yes that's right a lie Ralphus that's what all these parents do to their kids. They lie telling them that some fat slob by the name of Santa Clause by some miracle fits his Big Ass down their Chimney to give them toys. It's all a damn sham, a conspiracy against the youth of this world Ralphus, filling their Childrens Heads with false hopes and dreams making them believe that this Tall Tale that This Red and White Wonder actually exists when actually in fact he does not Ralphus. He's as fake as that womens Breasts that jast passed by you and me right there. I'm more terrified of the freaks in this mall than I am of the idiots who don't have enough smarts to know that you don't step into a Steel Monstrosity with Chris Jericho unless you have full intentions of checking into the hospital later that night. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Right as Chris finishes his sentance Ralphus' eyes go big and he stops in his tracks, but not because of the women with the obviously fake breasts. No, because Chris Jericho has just told Ralphus something that has completely shocked him forcing everyone to go around him as Chris doesn't notice he's walking alone now.. just yet.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Yes Ralphus, just like all of these Jerichoholics lie to their Children, Shane McMahon has lied to each and every NWA:TNA Superstar involved in this Hell In A Cell Match, filling their heads with false beliefs making them believe that they've actually got what it takes to take on the best that this business has to offer and to be quite honest Ralphus.. [ Jericho Stops ] Ralphus are you even listening to me..? "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Jericho turns around and notices Ralphus hasn't been following him this entire time and is still a-ways back in the crowd and obviously stands out because nobody wants to get to close to him due to the smell. Chris shakes his head in disatusfaction and walks back to where Ralphus is standing.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " What the hell are you doing Ralphus? C'mon Junior we don't have all day to get out of this damn Mall before all hell breaks loose. We're here to look for a gift for Stephanie because after Sunday we're going to be doing nothing but celebrating. So we get the gift and than we're getting the hell out of here, we don't have time to stand around waisting time, chop chop Junior! "

Pleasantly Plump -] Ralphus: " Santa doesn't exist Chris?.. "

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Of course not you idiot, don't tell me you've fallen for that Fable as well. Everyone knows that Jolly O'le St. Nick is just a Story to make kids believe that if they're good for the Holiday Season they'll be given' tons and tons of presents when in reality the spoiled little brats just act up as soon as December Twenty-Sixth comes around and the cycle starts all over again. And it's The American People who are the worst.. us Canadians don't act like Rabid Animals fighting over the last scrap of food on the table. Look around you Ralphus, all of these people are Santa Clause.. all of these people lie to their Children and give them the false belief that Santa is real when in fact it is them who is Santa, putting the Presents Under the Christmas Tree as they sleep. But one thing about the mall Ralphus, is that you can find anything that your heart desires. Be it some false teeth for Chris Benoit, who will most definately need it come Sunday when he loses a couple more teeth to The Hell In A Cell at the hands of Why-Two-Jay. Or perhaps I'll buy a dress for Randy Orton since he's such a damn Girl. Can you believe that punk kid actually think he's better looking than Chris Jericho? Nobody is as Handsome as The King of Bling Bling Damnit, and I'm not some Old Dusty Boned Legend that can't even put up a fight against anyone, I'm a LIVING LEGEND Junior there's a big difference, one in wich you will find out in The Elimination Chamber. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Jericho spins around with his arms out not having any courtesy for the people trying to go around him. As Chris is on the recieving end of nothing but bad looks now Ralphus trys to keep up, his dreams of Santa Clause shattered as Chris slowly but surely begins Chaos throughout the mall.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " AH..HAH! Here's what Steph wanted.. Finally, we can get this and get the hell out of here. I can't stand another second at looking into any of these Miserable People Againe. No wonder why they call this state Missouri. Everyone in this Mall is Miserable, The Food is Miserable, The Service is Miserable, and come Saturday Night, December Twenty First, all Seven of my opponents will be Miserably in their own right after having lost to The HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT.. Who cares about the Second man, it will be Me, Me, ME! Who will be most deserving of the win, it will be Chris Jericho who outshines each and every other NWA:TNA Superstar in this match. My Performance alone will make me United States Champion even before the match happens Ralphus, mark my words. "

Jeri-Tron 2003: Jericho and Ralphus continue their way through the mall amongst the people of St. Louis as they reach the courtyard, and in the middle of the courtyard is a "MEET SANTA" Setup where kids can sit on "Santas" lap and tell him what they want for Christmas. Jericho notices it before Ralphus naturally and a smile forms across his face as he rubs his goatee and begins to walk in the direction of Meet Santa Stage.

KING OF THE UNIVERSE -> Chris Jericho: " Come Ralphus, I'll show you what Old Santie Clause is really about. I'll show you that just like every NWA:TNA Superstar that has stepped into the ring with Chris Jericho, even Santa Clause is below Chris Jericho.. even Santa Clause The Y-2-J Bug and they might as well rename Christmas to CHRIS-MAS-SACRE because that is exactly what The Hell In A Cell Match will be. I am going to systematically take out each and every individual involved in this match, be it that I'm the first one in, the second or even the last.. it really doesn't matter Ralphus because they don't call me The Millenium Man for nothing, I will take The NWA into the new Millenium as their NEW.. CANADIAN.. United States Champion. Let that sink into your head for a second Ass Clowns.. you're going to have a Canadian United States Champion, no not because Canadians are superior athletes to you American Wrestlers but because Canadian or not, I am still Lrager Than Life and still better than each and everyone of you. Now get these cameras out of my face you stupid son of a bitch I've got a date with The Jolly One and I can't be late.

[| y-2-j |] Chris storms through the crowd cutting in line and storming up the red walkway tossing a kid off of the Malls obviously fake Santa Clause. Right in front of Hundreds of Kids and Shoppers Chris Jericho rips the fake Santas Beard off, tosses him off of his Chair and proceeds in putting him in The Walls of Jericho. Mall Security rushes over frantically but may be too late as Jericho keeps on delivering the pain until the fake Santa passes out and the camera feed fades with Jericho planting his foot on the fallen Santas back and flexing after a Twisted Display of Force that was totally uncalled for leaving us to wonder, just how far will Y-2-J go to become the absolute best?.. [| y-2-j |]