• "One dart does not a smolder make!" - Bol at Splint I
• "You boys didn't drink that whole keg yourselves, did you?" - Minnie Rotundo - Splint I
• "Smith will choke!" - Splint II -- Klaus's t-shirt
• "Who the fuck is going to pay for this shower door, and exactly how many hotdogs did you asses hide in my house?" - StevieRayBan to Whore and friend of Whore - Highgate Splint
• "JUMP!" - Jimbo Jambo and others as they jump over hedgerow to avoid oncomming car driven by blinded Aldo - Highgate Splint
• "If I throw this piece of cheeze like a playing card through the hallway they'll never know who it came from when it hits 'em..." - Smyth to Whore - The Cheeeese McGriff
• "If I throw this snausage at the side of the house do you think it will stick?" - Pluttitode/Blutto - during outside BBQ snowstorm
• "If we move the couch over here it'll cover it." - Estevan to Housemates (JimboJambo, Finn, E, ArtFag & Young One) - Responding to Millie the WonderDog's power-puke of cheeze, snausage and god knows what else.
• "Why don't you guys go across the street and hang out for a little while, then come back later." - Buffalo's Finest to some Splinters after they were summoned when Amy went ballistic and kicked us out of Sluggo's house, 1989)
• "Ooohhhhhhh.......ghgtdfsrded.... suheuhude.....sdug.............ugh" - (Joel, leaning/swaying in entrance portal to Tommy Marriotts, after being sabotaged by Bumfuq and his rather potent potable (mead), Splint VIII, 1992)
• "This room is way to fucking big!" - The Wedding Splint
• "A Lump in motion, tends to stay in motion. A lump at rest... " - Sluggo
• "His hair never moves." - Caaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrllllll on Lom
• "How about some fathering tips? Can you drink with one hand and hold a baby in the other? What works better: Breast milk or Guinness?" - Carmine to Lom
• "Who would have though that my simple suggestion of you and I ever so stealthily hitting Bol with a couple of gentle spit balls would blossom into the St. Valentines Day massacre." - Lom to Smyth
• "Just so you all know. The spitballs MUST STAY!! The absolute most intense two matches of my entire life were the last two under the barrage of wet-wads hurled at me by the gallery. Great touch. By the way Smith the wad in my left ear came out on Wednesday evening after dinner. " - Saddood
• "The late Jeffrey Smith was an ardent turophile who once described cheese as "milk's leap toward immortality." " - Toddly's word of the day.
• "In the annals of recorded human history, has there ever been so unnecessary a phrase as Carmine saying "I could go on and on"? That's like Wilt Chamberlain saying "I could do with some booty today!" - Toddly
• "Spewagings? Is that Canadian for beer?" -- Lom
• Bumfuq, Don't you know that June is "Splint Use a Condom" month? -- Drew on Bumfuq missing Splint 2001 due to impending March birth of future Splint child
• Is this in your face XFL style daaaaaarts? -- Pit
• I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -- Homer Simpson

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