My Reaction to Zyban July, 2005
I took Zyban at the end of 2000 for a 9 week course to help stop smoking. Sadly everything else in my life stopped as well. I could no longer spell, read, put sentences together, no co-ordination, I was just a zombie sitting starring at the wall 24 hrs a day, but I didn’t know I was doing it, I was on a far away planet. I believe the drug changes something in your brain for likes and dislikes amongst many other things it does. How can a tablet just kill off the desire and craving to smoke? In my case it made me hate everything I've ever loved, I hated my 2 children and didn’t want them near me or in the house, I couldn’t be bothered to feed them I had no mind and didn't know that I should be taking care of them. I tried several times throwing my partner out and fighting with him. I never ever acted that way before. I went out digging up all my favourite shrubs etc in the garden. I sat for many hours each day at the side of a train line, also planning how to run my car under an on coming lorry, all I wanted to do was die.
I had several other severe side effects as well, very heavy periods, so heavy they were like an hemorrhage (cannot spell that one) then no periods at all for nearly 2 yrs, the tests at the docs all said I was fine, not menopausal or anything, went to see the top Doc at Hull Royal Infirmary who told me that if I mentioned the word Zyban again to him he would throw me out of the room, and to go back in 10 yrs at the proper age, I was 39yrs old when I took them.
My own Doc still insisted that I must be pre - menopausal and sent me for more tests elsewhere these confirmed I was post - menopausal and said to go back in a couple of months, I never had any of the usual problems like hot flushes or any thing, then my periods returned and the next blood test said I was far from being near the menopause, each time I was tested the results kept varying from post menopause to very normal and fertile. How can this be explained, well I'll tell you, that bloody drug messes up your whole brain from which your whole body functions.
When I went on the course I was fit, very active and also quite intelligent. Everything was absolutely perfect, home life brill, my kids excelling at school, I had done two years gaining relevant qualifications at college and was just embarking on a degree course at university. The only thing at fault was the fact that I smoked, the Docs and my kids wanted me to pack up, I was offered this new wonder drug, no questions asked, I thought hey it won't harm give it a go. My 2 girls and partner of 20yrs will tell you the rest.
I now HATE myself, I am little more than a bloody cabbage brain wise I have problems spelling, deciphering numbers and totally ashamed of my behaviour, I gave up all my art work and everything I have always loved throughout my life. I have become a recluse, I have rented a cottage in the middle of nowhere so I don't have to see people and they don't need to come into contact with me, and have taken on a little job looking after two very elderly people to help find some money.
IF ONLY I COULD TURN BACK THE CLOCK TO THE NEW MILLENNIUM YEAR, I THOUGHT NEW CENTURY NEW ME, I AM, BUT CERTAINLY NOT IN THE WAY WE ALL EXPECTED, I AM SO UNHAPPY WITH HOW IT’S ALL TURNED OUT. WE HAVE TRIED TO MAKE ANYONE LISTEN TO US, EVEN BY GOING ON THE LOCAL RADIO, BUT IF YOU MENTION THE PRODUCT NAME YOU ARE CUT OFF. NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW, AND NO ONE WOULD HELP ME.