Title: Trading Places

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has to do with Buffy. Joss, Mutant Enemy, WB and/or UPN own everything. Lucky bastards.

Timing: A few weeks after Xander's Wedding

Pairing: S/X with mention of S/B and X/A

Summary: Halfrek is up to her old tricks and our boys get a little mixed up.

Rating: NC-17 for rudeness, violence, a torture scene, a teenage girl getting a little turned on and most importantly hot gay sex.

Feedback: I'd love to hear from ya! [email protected]

Warning: This is a M/M slash fic. If the idea of two men together bothers you then I do not recommend reading this.

Thanks to Steffi and Roquelaure for being absolutely fantastic betas! They’ve both encouraged me to close up all my plot holes, remember the unique Xander voice and put my commas where they are suppose to be. This fic would be completely different without your nudges in the right direction.

 

Trading Places 

By Marguerite

Chapter 1 - The Wish

“Yes, Mom. Thanks. I’m well aware of how much I ruined your life.” Xander sighed into the phone. He had gotten back from a really lousy day at work and hadn't managed to take his jacket off before having to dash to get the phone. As he dove for the receiver the only thought in his head was that it might represent his last chance to get Anya back.

If he had checked his call display he would have realized that it was only his mother with her daily call. She talked at great length about the embarrassment his actions had caused her, before moving on to complain about the money she and his father had invested into a wedding that didn't happen.

“Ya… I understand… you will not give me another penny if I decide to ‘pretend’ to get married again…. Yes I’m sure the Dad would like a word with me but I’m just heading out,” Xander lied for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. “Mom… Mom… please stop yelling … you’re just repeating yourself now… you told me all this yesterday and the day before… I get it. I’m the biggest loser that ever lived and everything would be better if the condom hadn’t broken.”

Xander held the receiver away from his ear as his mother ranted on, catching only a few standard phrases like “…no respect for your elders…”, “don’t be so rude!”, and “where did you learn to talk like that?”. Soon her tirade turned against his father, blaming him for everything, which resulted in an entirely separate argument at the other end of the line. Xander took the opportunity to shout “I’ve really got to go… call you tomorrow” and hung up.

Collapsing on the couch he buried his face in his hands and wondered when he would stop hating himself. Shrugging out of his coat and his misery he walked to the bathroom to take a long awaited shower. He’d never thought he would get used to being in the apartment without Anya. For the first few weeks he had wondered if she might just be there one day, when he got home from work. Then he would be able to talk to her, make her understand and maybe get her to forgive him, even if he could never forgive himself. But it had never happened. She’d never been there, waiting for him. She’d never called. Not even the girls. Not even about the Magic Box. She just wasn’t around to hate him or forgive him and that was the worst vengeance she could do.

After a quick shower and another tour around the apartment, confirming he was still alone, Xander grabbed his coat and left the apartment.

+++++++

“Spike. Come out.” Buffy sighed and turned to face the platinum blond vampire that had been standing behind his favorite tree in her front yard.

“Hard day at work pet?” Spike smirked and he slowly sauntered over to Buffy.

Buffy let out a frustrated sigh and turned back towards her front door. “Please just go away,” she snapped

Spike caught up with her and grabbed her arm. “Buffy, don’t shut me out. I’ve given you time. It’s been weeks since…” Spike grimaced at the memory of their breakup, but decided to go on. “We were friends before, remember? You used to come to me just to talk, before you came to me to …”

“Don’t” Buffy responded, still facing the door. “Just don’t. I came to you to hide. I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“So that’s it? Don’t come around? You’ll stop by when you need help with some nasty thing, but I’m not good enough to invite into your house for a nice cuppa and a chat with the lil ‘bit?” Spike released her arm in disgust.

“Please… I just can’t… not yet.” Buffy pleaded, continuing to stare at the door in front of her, maintaining her control.

“Ya, whatever Slayer. I won’t bother you any more.” Spike spat out bitterly and stormed off.

+++++

The Bronze was unusually busy for a Wednesday night. Lost souls of a multitude of ages, genders and species all came to the one place in town that offered solitude in the crowd. Among the crowd tonight were a blond and brunet playing pool, both more caught up in their own self-loathing than in their disjointed conversation.

"I just wish I could talk to her. Help her understand that we can go through this together. It would be easier that way… together. Not alone," Xander mumbled to himself.

Spike nodded in agreement and added shrug for good measure. "Women. Better off without them. Too finicky. Can't make up their minds." Bending over the table, he aimed and knocked the seven ball into the side pocket with perfect accuracy.

"I thought I was solid?" Xander noted staring in the newly filled pocket.

"No." Spike replied matter-of-factly. "That was last game.. wanna another beer?" he added as he dug into his skin tight jeans for cash.

+++++

From the catwalk a self-proclaimed justice demon listened to the varied conversations throughout the Bronze. Her attention was naturally drawn to two familiar faces, each presenting her with similar mixed emotions.

She could not hold William's attraction to Cecily against him, being the beauty that she was. However, the embarrassment he had caused still sent chills down her spine. The brunet beside him was no less faulted. Anyanka had been her close friend for the better part of 800 years, which had to count for something. But the anger over his betrayal of her friend was muted at the memory off seeing D'Hoffryn's face as he watched his favorite walk tearfully down the aisle looking all the human that she was. The irony of it just warmed her heart. The demon absentmindedly fiddled with her necklace while a smirk crept across her face.

As she watched the one who had been William and Anya's former lover play pool, she became more and more intrigued. They were each broken in their own way, calling for help. She knew if she listened long enough she could probably find some bitter sweet justice in this for everyone.

+++++

Spike took a sip of his beer and watched Xander take his shot. "You really thought she would take you back after leaving her in her dress, with the guests and the music playing? You need about 50 more years of studying women. It's never gonna happen... you and Anya... You're done with her. Or should I say she's done with you."

Xander grimaced at the truth in his words, but opted for defense rather then retreat. "You know everything? Right. After a hundred some years and look at you... Alone. Pathetic."

Spike bit back "And you aren't bloody pathetic? If you could see what you lost with Anya.... You had everything going for you and you still loused it up. If I had half the chances you did..."

"What are you saying? You could live my life better then I can? You wanna trade places with me and see what you can do with the crappy life I've got?" Xander eyed Spike smirking "You wish for that don't you?"

"Ya, I do! You walk in my shoes - I walk in yours. Then we'll talk about who’s got the worst crap to deal with!" Blue eyes met brown for a moment, each unsure what to say next. Taking a step back Spike broke the silence by nodding towards the pool table "Whose turn is it anyway?"

+++++

Halfrek sighed as she walked down the stairs to the lower level. Sometimes her job was just too easy.

+++++

In a loud thud both heads hit the pool table. Other patrons began to gather around the two bodies. One clearly dead, no pulse, no breathing. The other, with the ice blond hair, was only unconscious with steady breathing and strong heart beat.

 

Chapter 2 - The switch

Jimmy made his way through the crowd with dread. He had been a bouncer at the Bronze long enough to not really want to know what everyone was looking at, but it was his job, so he continued pushing people out of the way. When he reached the center of attention, he saw two men collapsed on the pool table, both regulars at the Bronze but not the types to get drunk enough to pass out mid-game.

As he moved towards the blond, he shivered. He had always made an effort to avoid the leather clad menace. His body language had always spoken volumes about wanting to be left alone and the violent consequences of any kind of interaction.

Spike felt rough fingers wrap around his wrist and rest on the pulse point. He noticed the feeling of his blood pumping through his artery past the applied pressure. It felt strange... wrong. With a cough, he shook himself awake and tried to stand. Unfortunately, the hand still checking his blood pressure did not anticipate the move and the men ended up in a tangled mess on the floor.

"Blood Hell! What are you trying to do?" Spike grumbled as he tentatively rose for the second time.

"I'm sorry, er, Sir... You and your friend just hit the table like a sack of potatoes. I was trying to check that you were ok...um.. alive and everything." Jimmy stumbled backwards to create a greater space between them.

At the mention of his 'friend' Spike glanced over to the other 'sack of potatoes'. Xander was lying with his head and chest on the green cloth of the table. The rest of his body was positioned awkwardly on the floor, supporting his weight. There was no sign of movement, no sign of life.

Spike extended his hearing to try to pick up a heartbeat but found that his senses were muted. His sight was a little off, sounds and smells were not as crisp. And then there was all the smoke in the bar that was irritating his lungs. Letting out another small cough to clear his throat, he touched Xander's hand and found it cold. Gently moving rich brown locks behind a cold ear, he leaned in and began to talk "Come on Harris. Time to wake up know. Your are far too stubborn to die like this.... No blood, no guts... people do not die of playing pool... even on the hellmouth "

The crowd around them started to dissipate as the pathetic ramblings of a guy talking to his dead friend lost its entertainment factor and moved right off into really awful to watch.

As Xander began to regain consciousness the first thing he noticed were unusually hot hands clutching his shoulders and really hot breath being whispered into his ear. The next thing he noticed was the impact the first things were having on his body. Shaking off his dreamy state, he looked up to see the most beautiful pair of blue eyes staring at him with worry.

"Xander? Why are you a vampire?" Xander heard coming from the lovely warm breath near his ear. "Xander are you awake yet?"

"Hrumph" Xander responded as he tried to stand.

"Donut-boy? Did you hear me? You. are. a. vampire." Blues eyes showed their panic as the lovely warm breath turned into a louder voice that had an accent that seemed to end every sentence with 'are you really that stupid?'.

"Why do you think that I'm a vampire? I was never even bitten." Xander managed to spit out, even though the result sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles. Nope not marbles. Teeth. Big pointy ones. Xander reached his hand up to feel for eyebrows. Nope, no eyebrows.

"I'm a vampire!" Xander squealed in a very un-manly, un-vampire like way. As he spoke, he shook Spike's shoulders as if to convince him as well.

"Yes, I'm aware of that, with the fangs and all.." Spike waved his hand in front of the pointy jaws. He leaned in and whispered "Can you not be in game face right now? You are flipping out the crowd." Spike pleaded and nodded to a few people as if to say 'move along.'

"How do I get rid of the fangs? I woke up and they were just there." Xander began to feel around his neck. "Is there an on/off switch around here?"

Spike sighed in frustration. "Listen, let's just get out of here so we can figure this out without an audience, alright?" Xander nodded and allowed Spike to drag him out of the Bronze.

As they sprinted for the door, Spike shouted a few loud comments including something about 'a great mask' and 'Halloween'. Once they were close enough, he gave Xander a sudden shove into the open air.

In immediate response to the aggression, Xander turned to face Spike with a low growl.

"Did you just growl at me? Lesson the first, if you want any help from me with your new vampire-self, you will not growl, hit or bite me. We're on even ground now. Your a demon, so I can hit back." Spike smiled at the sudden realization and vamped out. Well, tried to vamp out but it didn't work.

"What the hell?" Spike took a moment to orient himself with what had happened so far this evening. The memory of the bouncer checking his pulse came to him. Spike started to walk away running his hands through his hair. "I can't believe this is happening..."

"What? What's happening? What could be bigger then me being a vampire?" Xander called out, again sounding like he had a cheap set of plastic Dracula teeth in his mouth.

"I'm human you twit! You’re a vampire and I'm human." The bleached ex- vampire clarified, as if talking to a child.

"Oh. Oh!" Xander ran to catch up to the human who was now a fair distance away. "You're really human?"

"Yup. Heart's pumping, lungs suddenly required and sweat.. is that sweat? Bloody hell... I'm sweating. That's just wrong."

"It's a warm night you probably don't need that jacket..." Xander offered with a helpful toothy smile.

Spike turned to Xander and looked like he was going to rip his head off if he could, which he couldn't. "Would you please get out of game face. You are going to draw attention to us." Spike requested in a very controlled voice.

"I don't know how. It feels like it's got a mind of it's own." Xander whined. Spike sighed. Taking Xander by the sleeve, he dragged him into an alley. With his hands on the brunet's broad shoulders, he positioned him against the wall. Spike began in a soft soothing voice. "I'm going to help you. You will need to concentrate." Spike waited for a nod before continuing.

"You have a demon inside you now. It's conflicting with your human side, the part that is still Xander. You need to learn to control that demon. Once you figure out how then you can use it to your advantage. If you let it control you then you'll act like those fledges that we stake by the dozens."

Xander concentrated on Spike's words. Let his voice sooth the rage that seemed to be building in him.

"I want you to do something for me. I want you to think about how you feel. There is part of you that is burning. A fire that is making you just crazy. Am I right?" Xander let out a primal sound. Spike interpreted it as an agreement.

"That part of you is different, not Xander. I want you to gather it up and place it to the back if your mind."

Xander continued to focus a few minutes. Spike watched as chocolate brown eyes opened wide and full lips spread into a flat toothed smile.

"I did it!" Xander shouted "I felt it. Like I can just reach in with my mind and..." Xander's face suddenly transformed back into the demon. Spike noticed a wicked glint in yellows, but it was already too late. Spike felt himself pushed up against the wall at lightning speed.

"What a rush... I feel powerful...like I could do anything." Xander's voice was more of a rumble as grasped Spike's wrists and pinned them above his head. The vampire dipped his head an took in the scent of his prisoner. Face only inches away, he smiled evilly "Mmmm... What is that... it's intoxicating."

"I think that's …um… fear you’re smelling. Pretty potent stuff. Don't recommend it." Spike struggled against the iron tight hold.

"Mmmm... yummie!” " Xander leaned in and slowly licked Spike from collard bone to earlobe. Spike moaned as helplessness and the sensation of that cool tongue on his heated skin resulted in unexpected arousal. Memories flooded back to him of a similar alley scene, with two vampires, one newly risen and the other needing to assert his status over his childe's new playmate. He felt himself growing hard as he remembered all the lessons he’d been taught that night.

As he tried to wriggle free he involuntarily brushed his hard-on against Xander's thigh. His captor replied, by leaving a trail of short licks down his original path and using the length of his body to further trap the human

"Xanderrr" Spike cried out, fighting for breath. Fear for his own life muting his new found need. At the sound of his name, panicked yellow eyes looked into lust filled blue eyes. Xander took a step backward and looked awkwardly around him. Instantly, he changed back into his human facade.

He began to pace. "What the hell was that? I mean.. vampire? Woah! Not exactly dealing well here but going around licking people? That's just plain gross. And with the smelling and the ..." Xander paused to wave his hand at the wall " ...the what ever that was. I'm totally wigged." Xander sat on the ground and ran his hands through his hair.

Spike stood against the wall and watched the proceedings with interest. "Come on scary vamp-boy, let's get you something to eat before you try to make me a snack. You're probably hungry, being newly risen and all." Spike suggested hoping to drop the subject "We can stop by my crypt before gathering the gang."

+++++

Walking into the dark crypt Spike stumbled over something on the floor. "Stupid human eyesight." He grumbled. He fumbled through the crypt searching for the various candles he used mainly for the comfort of his guests. "Hated being human. Weak, pathetic existence."

Once the room was appropriately lit, Spike walked over to the fridge and poured Xander a glass of blood. Everything seemed off, the crypt felt cold and damp and smelled like decay, whereas the blood hardly smelled like anything. It was just wrong. He felt his digestive system begin to kick in as a sharp pain poked at his right side. Recalling the more unpleasant items of human biology he groaned in frustration.

"I'll be back in a minute.. gotta take care of some business downstairs. Have a few glasses of that stuff, it'll take the bite off." Spike smirked to himself at his pun and began the descent to the lower level.

Xander grabbed the offered glass and instinct took over. Hunger like he'd never felt before ran through his veins like fire. There seemed to be this constant drive within him, like the time he got poison ivy and he thought he'd go insane if he didn't get to scratch. As he drank the pig’s blood he felt momentary contentment, but soon the irritating draw returned.

Xander stared at a new glass filled with blood in a mixture of eagerness and nausea. His first glass had gone down quickly. He was now pondering his second, unsure how he felt about enjoying the first.

"Just drink it, it keeps you alive, er, undead." Spike interrupted his contemplation, rising from the ladder. "Stop looking at it like the world‘s gonna to stop turning cause Alexander Harris is a vampire and likes his blood. We'd better hurry and switch back before you start using hair styling products and wearing leather pants.”

Xander shrugged and greedily drank the rest of the liquid. He tried to tell himself that it wasn't better then the first, but who was he kidding?.

Rather then feeling sated, the vampire found himself more restless. He casually took a step closer to Spike, feeling the heat from the mortal even with the few feet that were separating them. Listening carefully he could pick up the heartbeat. Rhythmically calling him closer, pleading him to take a bite. Feel what it would be like to break the tender skin on that perfect neck and have hot blood burst into his mouth.

Spike raised his eyebrow knowingly as the vampire licked his lips. Walking over, he took the empty glass and placed it on top of the fridge. "I suppose we'd better go over a few things before we gather up the Slayer and the witches. After that little..." Spike waved his hands in the air in the direction of the door, "thing that happened in the alley, I think I should give you a few pointers about keepin' your fangs out of people’s necks."

“Have a seat.” Spike motioned to his chair. "This isn't going to take long, mind you, I'm not doing the history of vampire lore. I just don't want you getting yourself staked 'cause you being dust might make us switching back more difficult."

Xander shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He was getting the feeling he’d never left high school.

"Lesson the first - "

"You already said 'lesson the first' - whatever the hell that means... was that like proper grammar when you went to school?" Xander quipped.

"I did?"

"Yup - in the alley - lesson the first blah blah blah don't piss me off 'cause I can kick your ass oops I'm human."

"Shut up Harris. Lesson the second, " pause to see if there was any further commentary, "You've probably already noticed your senses are much stronger. Your eye sight's improved, you can see very clearly with little light." Xander glanced around the crypt noticing for the first time that there were very few candles lit and only moonlight shining in from darkened windows.

"And your sense of smell has improved... You've already figured out that fear's got a special kind of smell that drives vampires up the wall..." Spike stole a look towards Xander to ensure his pun wasn't missed. It wasn't.

"Vamps can also smell when someone's all hot and bothered or if they've just had sex....with their demon girlfriend in the basement of the Magic Box when the world is about to end...." Spike spared Xander another look. "But above everything else is the scent of blood and I don't want you going all fangy if Red gets a paper cut."

Xander let his mind wonder for a minute on that thought. The thought of Willow's blood made him feel restless. It was time to go see his friends, time to taste them. He smiled hungrily. The hunger he was feeling didn't make him feel weak, like when he was a human and needed to eat. This hunger made him feel powerful, invincible. And he had a lovely meal standing right in front of him. Shaking off his day dream, he returned his attention to Spike who seemed to be going on and on about self control.

Xander opted to sigh and roll his eyes. Spike pointed to the fridge, misunderstanding Xander's impatience. "You think that's what I'm talking about? That stuff... cold pigs blood?" Spike stood in front of the chair and placed a hand on each of its armrests. He moved in so that his nose was only inches from the cold skin in front of him. He spoke slowly in a raspy whisper, knowing he was playing with fire. "I'm talking about fresh hot human blood, pumping through the body, flowing out of the victim and into your mouth. There's nothing like it."

Seduced by the thought, Xander felt his fangs drop and his cock twitch. Barely loud enough to be heard he whispered, "Show me..."



Human Spike was no better planner than vampire Spike. He knew that Xander could easily kill him and looking into those feral yellow eyes he could see that he probably wanted to as well. Seeing Xander now, his barley controlled need, made some of the powerlessness that he felt as a human dissipate, even if it was a facade of power. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and grazed his finger across a sharp fang. Instantly droplets of blood began to form on the tip.

Xander's head was immediately filled with the heady scent of blood. Suddenly the world dropped away and the only thing that was left was him and a blond man holding his finger just out of his reach.

Spike felt his throat tighten as he watched Xander's reaction. Blood lust was something that he had come to both control and depend on over the years, not thinking much about it. It was just something that was a part of him. As he watched the primal hunger cross Xander's demon visage, he was reminded of everything he’d felt when he became a vampire. He'd once described it to Buffy as 'a profound experience'. She hadn't understood, but one look at Xander, would have made it clear.

Spike prayed that the two glasses of pigs blood were enough to sate the demon and keep Xander in control. Not completely trusting the control of a fledgling, Spike nudged Xander's abdomen with the stake he held in his non- injured hand. "Ah, ah, ah ... this is about self control pet... can't have you biting off my finger until you've learned the lesson now can we?" Spike teased, though his voice was raw with emotion.

"Harris...Xander. Look at me." Slowly, his impatient student turned to face him and away from the finger that had become his world. "Good. Now you can have a taste but only after I say so." Xander turned back to watch as thick paths of scarlet began to mar alabaster hands.

"Now when you try it... don't go all starving teenager with a happy meal.... enjoy it. Savor it. This might be it for the free taste tests." Spike smiled at the patience in the demon before him. Bring his finger to Xander's mouth, he offered "Go ahead pet... have a taste."

Xander tentatively edged forward to capture the finger, but instead of taking the finger he began at the palm and knuckles where the blood had already reached. With slow sure laps he began to worship the blood covered hand with his tongue. Slowly working his way up to the finger and sucking gently at the tip willing each new drop to release. If not for the stake within striking distance, the vampire would not have stopped at only a taste.

Both men groaned when the contact was finally broken. For a moment they stared at each other absorbing the experience, until Spike jumped from the spot where he had been kneeling.

"Right then... that's human blood... don't bite anyone the Slayer knows...and stay out of sunlight. I think we're ready to let the ladies meet the new Xan."

Xander nodded, snapping out of his daze.

Human and vampire made their way towards Revello Drive hoping that neither would notice the bulge in their pants and more importantly that it would be gone by the time they reached Buffy's.

 

Chapter 3- The Scooby factor

Buffy answered the urgent knocking at her front door to see Spike standing on her porch, grinning widely. Before she could snap out an insult, she noticed Xander hovering oddly behind him. Spike quickly stepped past her and into the house noting, "The brick layer needs an invite, Slayer."

Buffy turned to Xander in confusion. He was pressing his hands against the threshold and leaning his weight against the invisible barrier. "This is really neat!" the vampire announced.

"Xander? What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

"That thing." Xander noted, pointing at the threshold. "That thing that keeps vampires out when they aren't invited. It's really cool."

"Look pet, are you going to let him stay out there all night? We've got a few things to discuss with you. Is the witch around?" Spike began to look around, "Red? You up?" He hollered up the stairs.

Knowing that there was a simple way to confirm what the men were implying, Buffy reached out her senses and felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up when she looked at Xander. "Why is Xander a vampire?" Buffy turned to Spike, furious.

"I'm not sure actually...," Spike replied casually, as if she'd asked if he knew where her keys were. Spike fidgeted as he continued to glance around for Willow. He was feeling very disoriented being close to Buffy with his senses muted. He was typically overwhelmed by his physiological reaction to her nearness. It was also hot in the house. He shifted uncomfortably under the weight of his heavy coat and decided to take it off.

Willow was walking down the stairs when she noticed Xander at the door. "Hey Xan, why don't you come inside?" She asked out of curiosity. That was all the invitation required for the brunet to fall face first into the front foyer.

"Oh my god Xander! Are you ok?" Willow squeaked as she rushed to his side. Just as Buffy and Spike started to shout their warnings, the witch was face to face with a growling vampire.

"Thanks a lot Will," Xander spat out sarcastically. His eyes narrowed to small slits as he was overcome by the sensation of standing so close to a living, breathing body. The fire of his hunger flashed through him again and he edged closer. Buffy quickly moved in front of Willow blocking Xander's view of her. Crouched in a defensive stance, she warned "That's close enough, Xander".

Getting Xander's attention, Spike spoke to him in what was becoming a familiar calming voice. "Hey Harris, calm down. Going all grr right now isn't going to help anything. Remember what we came here for, eh?"

The vampire struggled for control. He turned to the others with a non-bumpy face and an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that guys. Haven't really figured out how to control the temper yet." Vamp-Xander somehow turned into Babble-Xander as he continued. "Did you know that vampires can smell, like everything… Willow, you just got out of the shower didn't you.. and Buffy you smell.. well different… like you’re special or something.. and hearing… I can hear all of your hearts beating…. I'd know if you were going to have a heart attack, I think. And Willow, you heart is pumping really fast right now.. are you ok?"

"Xander! You're a vampire! " Willow's voice cracked and her eyes filled with tears as she spoke. Willow took a step towards her friend.



Buffy never took her eyes off Xander, following each of his movements carefully. Her eye caught Willow's motion. "Will, don't. He's a vampire. Dangerous. Can't be trusted. He just looks like Xander." Buffy warned.

A cocky smirk spread across Spike's face and he quipped sarcastically. "Yeah, evil vampire. That's right. Maybe Xander should be chained to the bathtub or something just as nasty." Before Xander could respond to the teasing, he was brushed aside by Buffy.

Within seconds, Spike felt his back slammed against a wall. His now necessary windpipe being crushed. "Wha…" was all he managed to say. He watched in horror as the Slayer's face distorted in rage. Her grip on his throat tightened.

"Spike, if you had anything to do with this, I swear…" The petite blonde hissed through clenched teeth. She raised and pulled back her fist, ready to strike.

Xander took advantage of the Buffy's distraction and threw Willow to the ground. His fangs barely reached her neck when he had to pull back. Xander howled and fell to the ground writhing and clutching his head, as excruciating pain set his nerve endings on fire. The rest of the room gathered around him in confusion.

Spike felt a pang of familiarity as he saw the crumpled heap of a vampire on the floor. If nothing else, then Xander at least did not have to face his pain alone. He had friends to take care of him. Spike glanced around the room to find that no one looked ready to comfort a vampire. Buffy appeared more furious than before and Willow was still in shock.

Finally Buffy broke the silence. "Would someone please tell me what is going on here!" she demanded.

"I think he's got my chip!" Spike muttered to no one in particular. Bending down he placed a hand on Xander's shoulder, "Hurts like a sonofabitch, don't it? Red, can you get him a pain killer or something…"

Willow looked to Buffy for direction. All she got was a shrug. Left to decide for herself, Willow went with her gut feeling. Vamp or not, this was Xander, her best friend. She rushed upstairs to the bathroom to get what Spike had asked for.

Buffy watched in amazement as Spike soothed Xander with a tenderness that was typically reserved for her. He gently moved Xander to the couch and fed him the pills and water that Willow had returned with .

"That was not pleasant." Xander commented while rubbing his temples.

"Ya, never seems worth it … " Spike's face darkened at the memory of the pain and humiliation that the chip had caused.

"So Xander's a vampire - with Spike's chip. Which means...." Buffy walked over to get a good look at her former lover. For the first time this evening, she noticed the subtle differences. His alabaster skin now had a warm pink tone. His forehead was lightly glistening with sweat. The harshness of his stare was replaced with vulnerability, "You're human!"

"We got switched.." Xander noted casually. "He got the beating heart and I got the chip. I think I got gypped." A flash of holding a still beating heart and slowly devouring it passed through Xander's mind. That wasn’t what he had originally meant, but it was a tantalizing fantasy. He looked over at Willow. She looked and smelled wonderful. All fresh from the shower smelling of honey and rosehip. He let his mind wander. How would her blood taste? Would it be different than Spike's? Would it have a unique Willow-y flavor?

The girls sat in silence, absorbing the news. Willow looked from vampire to ex-vampire, both seated on the couch across from her. Whenever Xander made eye contact there was thinly veiled violence in his glare, while Spike was blushing and staring at the floor. There was something familiar about Xander's look, something that made her feel like helpless prey despite her knowledge of the chip. Unpleasant memories of Xander playing the role of the alpha male of the hyena pack came to her. She shivered. HumanSpike on the other hand was not much different than VampireSpike. He was slightly less cocky and maybe a little nervous, but besides comforting Xander, he was his usual annoying self.

Glancing again towards Xander, she noticed that his facial expression had changed completely. The predator-like glare was replaced with the goofy smile that Xander had reserved especially for her since when they were kids.

The pregnant silence grew more and more uncomfortable as the men began to fidget in their seats. Spike was trying to pin-point exactly what it was that made him so ill at ease, besides it being so damn hot all the time and feeling weird without his coat. More than that, his inability to use his senses was making him crazy. Interpreting changes in heartbeat and smell had always given him an edge. He’d usually known before any of them did what was really happening behind their smiles. Now, he felt blind. Worst of it all, he couldn't smell Buffy. He'd gotten so used to that smell, her unique slayer scent.

Spike realized that he might need to use the Summer's house facilities if no one spoke soon. He decided to explain why he'd brought Xander there in the first place. "We were thinking that you two could help figure out what happened to us. Maybe get with the whole research thing...or get the blonde witch to work some mojo and switch us back."

WIllow's eyes lit up. "Of course, we'll do everything we can to make you.. um … right again. It's pretty late now, but I'll call Tara in the morning and I'm sure she'll do what she can." Willow offered. She turned to Buffy to see if she had other suggestions but found her staring at Spike with a blank expression.

"I don't think we can do much else tonight.” Willow continued, a little put off by Buffy's lack of participation. "I've got a few books here to get started, but everything else is at the Magic Box. So, you guys may have to stay like this at least for tonight."

"Thanks Will." Spike gave her a grateful nod. "I'll meet you at the Magic Box tomorrow morning, assuming I'm still breathing, and we can get started." Standing and turning towards Xander he continued, "Well Harris, we'd best get you some more blood since you won't be doing much hunting. "

"You guys should probably stick together until we find out more. If it's a spell it might wear off faster it you are in close proximity to each other. Things like this tend to want to return to their natural state. It might just fix itself. " Willow offered in a hopeful voice.

Xander stole a shy look at Spike and shrugged. "I guess you can sleep at my apartment tonight. I mean you can't really live in your crypt while you're human anyway."

Spike tried to ignore the tug he felt on his heart at Xander's words. It had been a long time since anyone but Dawn had expressed any concern about his well being. The realization that the offer came from a soulless vampire that would most likely eat him if it weren’t for the chip in his brain, somewhat muted the appreciation. He turned again to Xander and responded casually "Sure, whatever. Let's go then".

Suddenly needing to get out of the house, he stole a glance at Buffy and saw that she continued to stare in silence.

As they walked towards the door, Buffy rose out of her seat in the living room. "Wait. Spike, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone." Buffy walked towards Spike, never taking her eyes off him.

Willow eyed the pair in confusion, but swallowed the remark she’d been about to make when she noticed the resolve in her friend's eyes. "Hey Xander, why don't we go into the kitchen and you can show me your new fangs." Willow internally groaned at the obvious mistake this could be even with the chip. Xander seemed to continuously flip from Big Bad Xander to Goofy Best Friend Xander. She had no interest in spending any alone time with the former.

Luckily she got the Xander she knew and loved as he practically jumped with excitement. "Oh Will, it's totally cool! Spike showed me this trick..." his voice trailed off as his best friend dragged him into the kitchen.

Buffy took a step closer to Spike and gently placed her hand over his heart. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the steady beat under her finger tips. When she finally opened her eyes, Spike was overcome with the intensity he saw there. "Spike I can't believe your human."

Spike worried his brow in confusion. "Well luv, I am. For now." He clarified in a low husky voice, placing his hand over hers.

"Maybe we can find a way to change Xander back and let you stay human. This could change everything." She whispered, giving a seductive smile and leaning in closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder.

Spike backed away and released her hand. "It shouldn't change anything. I'm a vampire. I don't want to be human." Spike stopped to study Buffy's reaction. He saw shock and confusion in her eyes. "I've never looked back Buffy. I thought you knew that. I thought you understood me enough to know that I like being a vampire. I hated being human." His heart began to ache in his chest as he watched her recoil at his words.

Buffy let out a choked laugh. "You're just going to throw this away? You have a chance to live. Things could be different. Different between us."

Staring at her as if seeing her for the first time, Spike finally understood. "This thing - my heartbeat - shouldn't change anything. If you cared for me, it's wouldn't matter." Spike searched her face for any sign that she finally understood, but only saw her eyes turn cold with anger.

Buffy's eyes went wide in surprise at the bitterness in his last comment. Only minutes ago, her entire future seemed to change in front of her eyes. She had found that she could love Spike as a human. The knowledge of that led her into a world of possibilities where she was not alone. Hardening her heart against her broken hopes, she spoke in a fierce voice: "Get out on my house."

Spike looked at her in astonishment. He had never seen her look so deadly. She seemed barely able to control her rage. Breaking away from her stare, he darted off into the kitchen speaking as calmly as he could, "Come on Harris. We're out of here."

+++++

As they walked down the street, Xander turned to Spike "I can still smell Buffy all over you, you know. All these smells are driving me nutso."

Spike bit back a sharp retort and simply shook his head at everything he had lost in the last few hours.

 

Chapter 4 - Dealing

“I can’t believe I’m stuck as a human ‘til tomorrow. I really need to kill something.” Spike
muttered to himself. He and Xander had made a quick stop to his crypt, picking up blood for Xander and clothes for himself, and were now heading towards the apartment. The night had turned cooler as the time edged past midnight and he now regretted leaving his duster at Buffy’s.

“Oh! Can I kill something? That’d be cool!” Xander skipped up to Spike who had begun to walk ahead.

The blond groaned. “You know, you really are an embarrassment to vampires everywhere. Stop grinning! Vampires don’t grin! Unless it’s an evil grin, and that is not an evil grin.” It was bad enough having to be a measly human, but to watch Xander Harris (of all people!) make a mockery of the ancient race was just too much.

Since the pool game that started this whole thing, Spike had been feeling worse than disoriented. He felt weak, useless, and disabled. The chip had made him feel trapped, but his preternatural power had still coursed through him. Being human gave him his freedom, but not the strength or the will to do what he wanted most. He never thought he would look back at the “chipped time” with fond remembrance. In frustration, Spike let out a grunt, which should have been a fright-inspiring growl.

“You know you are just as sulky as a human as you were as a vampire?” Xander spat out with an unusually bitter edge.

Spike stopped walking and turned sharply. “Don’t piss me off, fledgling. Remember you’ve got a chip. I’ve got the upper hand here. I might not want to kill you until we figure out how to fix this, but it doesn’t mean I can’t beat you to a bloody pulp – so shut your yap.”

Xander stared for a minute at the mortal who had begun to walk away. Spike’s small frame should have seemed vulnerable without the coat, but the tight muscles that rippled under his thin sweater and jeans created an illusion of a power that he no longer had. Even as a human, the peroxide blond still had the ability to send shivers down Xander’s undead spine. He opted to follow in silence and ignore the unexplainable surge of heat to his crotch.

“We need to make one more stop.” Spike noted as he turned towards a 24-hour convenience store. “I need to get really drunk.”

Xander shrugged and followed. “Drunk sounds good.”

+++++

With a bottle of Jack Daniels quickly making its way to empty, the two men slurred their varied and mostly similar opinions about how much they each hated their new physiology.

Xander sat on the couch in full game face, feeling around his forehead. It was like he was wearing a mask, only it was very comfortable, more comfortable than his human guise, he noted. The skin also didn’t feel like it was his, even though as he touched over the patch where his eyebrows should be he could feel the pressure from his fingers. Xander gave a lopsided smile at the entertainment his new face had provided over the last hour.

Spike interrupted the vampire’s intense investigation to get up to go pee.

“This is a bloody travesty.” he declared, as he walked back into the living room still zipping his pants.

“Yup” Xander agreed. “It’s not fair that I get my first chance to be a vampire and I’ve got this stupid chip.”

“You git. You’ve gotta put up with it for a few hours… I’ve had it for 2 years!” Spike sneered as he flopped lazily on the couch beside the brunet.

Xander tried to imagine two years being trapped like this, needing to kill and not being able to. His mind fluttered about the idea of it being awful, but alcohol stopped any depth of thought and his focus returned to how far his hairline had moved back and what that had to do with being in game face.

“Harris, why are you all fangy? And why to you keep touching yourself?” Spike leaned in to inquire in a whisper as if not to let the rest of the room hear such a personal question.

“It’s comfortable. I like it. I think I hear n’ see better, too… but no need to whisper.” Xander leaned and whispered back.

“Not socially acceptable that. Not around humans at least. And since I’m human, I’d appreciate you keeping your fangs tucked away wherever it is they go.” Spike responded in a rather Giles-like superior tone.

Xander stared at Spike a moment, unsure how to respond to this new Spike/Giles voice, but decided to comply.

Spike smiled at the dominance he had over the fledge. He could almost consider taking him on as a pseudo-childe, with all the rules and what not. To be taught by a master vampire, he should be honoured, if only Spike was still a master vampire. Spike had never made a childe: too much responsibility. He didn’t need one for companionship, he’d always had Dru for that. He also never had any desire for spreading his blood like humans spread their seed - that was Angelus’ thing. Perhaps if he got the chip out, he would consider it now. But he’d be very particular about who he turned. Someone strong and smart… didn’t need another Harmony.

He had thought about the witch but the Magic’s might interfere, especially now that she’d gotten so powerful. Spike looked over at Xander pouring them both another drink. Harris would be a better choice, strong and smart - probably a great shag, but more importantly: impressionable. He’d learn from and respect a sire. That’s what the boy was good at - being loyal. Spike respected that, even if he hadn’t thought much about it before. Spike valued loyalty above most things. If he were to find another Dru they would have to be loyal to him. No use having a companion, a mate, then have them take off on you.

Buffy might have loved him some day, but tonight just proved that she could never be a mate. Her love would have to be unconditional, and Buffy didn’t work that way. Her feelings would change if she ever disapproved of someone’s behaviour. A few questionable decisions, no matter how justified, and everything would be gone – the love, the trust. Never unconditional. Far too much black and white.

Spike ran his hands through his hair in frustration because mentioning Buffy meant remembering the events of this evening. Remembering this evening also meant that he had to come to terms with the fact that he was now human. The poor eye sight, low stamina, uncontrollable body temperature, needing to piss (again) kind of human. Let’s not forget the babysitter of the newly undead kind of human as well.

He was also a much less tolerant to alcohol kind of human. It really was time for bed. Every muscle in his body was very relaxed and very tired. He continued his mantra of ‘musn’t pass out in front of the boy.’ “Early morning tomorrow, mate. Need my beauty rest, so if you’d be so kind as to…” get the hell off my couch… “get me a pillow. I’ll hit the hay.”

Xander looked over at his companion and ignored the request. “So do you think I’ve got a soul?”

“Oh, Balls!” He was never going to get to sleep at this rate, nor did he have the brainpower for a controversial topic like a soul. “Not this… stupid soul crap. Who cares? Get me a blanket.” After no response, Spike began looking for a linen closet to speed things up and grumbled, “Do you really care?”

Xander stared at him for a minute, entirely silent. Finally, he processed enough thought in his foggy mind to ask, “Do you mean ‘Do you really care if you have a soul’ or ‘If you really care then you have a soul’?”

Spike provided an imitation of a frustrated-really-tired-and-pretty-drunk-deer-in-headlights. “Wha…? Oh bugger it all, Harris. I just mean what the bloody hell does it matter?”

“Well it makes a difference doesn’t it? Angel…”

“Angel’s a bloody twit! When he was human, he was a selfish drunken ass. When he was a vampire he was a crazy violent ass. He got a ‘soul’ and he became a selfish ass that felt too guilty to drink and too sorry for himself to kill anyone. It’s all pathetic.” Spike smirked at Xander’s surprised look. Insulting Angel was one of the few simple pleasures he had left.

“I was there, remember. The soul made a difference. I didn’t like Angel … but Angelus? Not exactly pleasant either.”

“Soul-shmole!” Spike slurred, then with a sudden burst of alcohol-induced insight he began a Giles-type rant. “If you ask me, the entire soul concept was just an attempt to justify Angel helping Buffy. In reality, most vampires are just extensions of who they were as humans only with blood lust complicating everything. If we are able to control our blood lust, then we can rise above being just blood suckers that exist only to continue existing. Some humans are able to entirely give in to blood lust or power lust and ignore their supposed souls. It’s really all a matter of character. Angel had no character… the gypsies just cursed him with guilt of some type that gives him negative reinforcement the same way that my chip does, only more subtle. If a soul really made the difference it wouldn’t have taken 100 years for him to start making something of himself. If you ask me… which you did…what actually really mattered is that he fell in love with Buffy and starting being ‘good’ cause it made him feel better than being “bad” did. Or it was just a way to get in her pants… ”

“So you’re saying Angel’s soul doesn’t matter.” Xander looked at Spike like he’d grown a second head. “But when he lost his soul?”

“Xander.” Spike cut him off with a threatening glance. He liked his theory and believed it but he wasn’t sure he was ready, in his current state, to properly argue it. “All I’m saying is that a soul is just one of the things that makes up who you are. It’s not everything. And whether or not you have a soul or I have a soul – it doesn’t matter…. Not to me. Conversation over. ”

“Right.” Xander thought it was best to drop the subject. Noticing for the first time that Spike had emptied most of his linen closet on the floor, he questioned, “What are you looking for?”

+++++


Xander laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. Even as a vampire, sleep had a hard time visiting his half-empty bed. He turned, fluffed the pillow, and pulled down the sheets on the unoccupied side of the mattress. Maybe it would help convince him that she was just up late and any moment she would return. When he woke up, she would be there. Last night he’d has to stop himself from bringing two glasses of water to bed.

Eventually, the alcohol and the stress of the day won out over loneliness and he drifted off.

+++++

He stared into her beautiful face, streaked with tears. “Anya, I just can’t.” He heard himself say. Her look of confusion turned to despair. He wanted to explain, say more. Say that he was doing this for her, that even if his vision wasn’t real, it was still a possibility. That he could never marry her knowing that she would hate who she’d become with him. That he would hurt her – in every way – eventually. But looking into her face, he realized it was all too late.

+++++

He stood with her at the top of the aisle, in the front of the altar, family and friends gathered around smiling proudly. He heard someone say something about ‘man and wife’. He knew he needed to kiss her. He leaned down, elongated his fangs and tore out her throat. Blood trickled down her white dress and he watched the drops slowly fall to the floor.

+++++

Anya smiled mischievously as she kissed his chest. He was lying on his back in bed with her on top of him. They were naked. He watched her move down his body knowing where she was heading. She kissed his hipbone as he watched her follow the familiar pattern. Taking his cock tenderly in hand, she slipped the tip into her mouth: slowly, gently sucking. Twisting her tongue around in circles just the way he liked it. He reached down to touch her soft blond curls. He blinked as the hair in his hands felt different. Short and curly, soft despite it’s harsh appearance. He recognized the top of the head that worked between his legs. His cock stiffened even harder as strong male hand increased the pressure of its hold, still sucking only the tip. Xander was gasping for breath and confused as his arousal removed any sense of reality.

+++++

“Please …”, he begged, as the sound of his own voice woke him.

Xander shook himself awake and sat up. He didn’t know which part of his dream was more disturbing. He’d never dreamt about a man in that way before. Not ever, even in the early days of puberty when his dreams where filled with nearly anything and everything that he’d heard of up to that point. He definitely was not gay, so why the hell had Spike invaded one of his favorite memories of nights with Anya?

Frustrated and confused from very visual and violent dreams, he knew sleep was far off once again. He got up to get a glass of water. Remembering that he was a vampire, he changed his mind and went searching for some blood. Or maybe whiskey. Trying to ignore the shirtless male body in his living room, he moved past the couch without a look and entered the kitchen. Before he had chosen what he wanted to drink, he was called into the next room by a strangled cry.

++++++

He saw Buffy in manacles, arms spread wide, eyes staring at him with hate. “The only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.” He heard himself arguing uselessly with her. Her cold look told him everything he needed to know. He saw himself scream and cry and plead his case, but her disgust increased. He felt a stake in his hand and her standing in front of him defenseless. He felt the hot blood pouring over his hand as he pushed the stake deep into her heart, her face frozen in shock and revulsion.

+++++

She looks very pretty today, he noticed. Different somehow. “It’s over. I’m sorry William. It’s over.” He knew he should feel the crush that those words have always produced, but the emotion fell flat. There was something in her look, behind her eyes – pride. He was beneath her and she had just figured that out. He smiled back at her, swung his axe and chopped her pretty head off.

++++

He ran. He needed to keep running. It was after him. It was so close. Only a matter of time. It always caught up with him, eventually. He was never fast enough. He felt the branches smack his cheek as he flew past them. The underbrush threatened to twist his ankle with its inconsistent footing. His breath was raspy and he needed to stop, but that would only lead to pain. He could never rest. There was no escape. He ran faster. The sound behind him became quieter. Maybe he’d made it this time. He risked a quick glance behind him and saw only thick forest. He turned and bumped into thick, broad shoulders. Looking up, he knew he would see piercing brown eyes even as a thick Irish accent quipped, “You’ll never be one of us boy. You’ll never really be one of us.” He felt a pain like no other as sharp fangs sucked greedily at his neck, leaving him nearly drained. He fell to the ground, helpless and alone, too weak to move or find food to regain his strength. He knew he would stay like that for weeks before his dark princess would remember to come looking for him. He uttered a desperate cry.

+++++

He woke to strong hands gently shaking him, “Spike, it’s a dream. It’s ok.” Comforting hands rubbed his cheeks and stroked his hair. He leaned into the touch, pressing his sweat covered forehead against refreshingly cool hands. His body was still trembling as he slowly opened his eyes. The soothing hands belonged to soft brown eyes, dark hair and broad shoulders. The larger man leaned in closer to his face, “Hey, you gonna be alright? Your heart’s about to pound through your chest.”

He backed as far into the couch as he could manage. No words could escape his lips with his nightmare of helplessness still so close to the surface. A calming finger carefully reached out to trace the outline of his, then his jaw. After a moment he let down his guard and closed his eyes, focusing on the reassuring touch.

Nearly to the point of sleep again, he felt soft lips press up against his, then a cool tongue requesting entrance. His eyes flew open in surprise. Locks of dark hair fell into his face as he froze in response to the kiss. His memory flashed to another time, another man with longer, darker hair. Cruel eyes mocking his attraction, his desire for the kisses and the touches of another man. He remembered the beating and torment he received from the object of his want, using his weakness against him.

He pulled back sharply, breaking the tender contact. He turned his head to avoid eye contact and so that none of the emotions on his face could be seen. He refused to turn back until he knew he was finally alone, alone with his memories and a nightmare that he hadn’t had in a hundred years.

+++++

Xander stormed back into his room and shut the door. Dropping onto the bed, he covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t believe his own stupidity. Clearly Spike was not interested him that way, and why on earth would he think he would ever be? The blond had just looked so scared, so vulnerable, so human. Xander had only wanted to help comfort him, but those delicate features and beautiful lips had been irresistible. Before he knew what was happening he was kissing his first man and getting rejected, rather brutally at that. He just hoped that Spike wouldn’t use it against him in the morning.

Chapter 5 - Changing Teams

Mr. Carter stared as a black clad peroxide blond entered his store and headed directly to the back. He knew the type - case the store for an easy hit later. Well he was going to get a good look at this one to give Sunnydale's finest a perfect description. Of course, this guy was making it easy. Everything about him was distinguishing, head to toe peculiarities - even a scar.

Unexpectedly, the young man actually appeared to be looking for something. Either he was very clever at hiding his assessment of the shop's security or he was interested in picking up a pair of reading glasses.

After a couple of aspirins and a hot shower, Spike had headed out into early morning sun. He needed to make a stop before any research was going to be possible. Not much would make him stoop to research, but leaving his humanity in the hands of the Scoobies was not an option. At least he had managed to put aside the feelings of helplessness from the night before. They were now tightly stored away into that special place, only to be relived in his most fragile moments.

Trying on a small metal rimmed pair of specs, he picked up a magazine and attempted to read a few of the different size fonts. Ignoring the old man that was distractingly gawking at him, he found that most words on the page were significantly clearer -good enough. While setting the magazine down, his attention was caught by the reflection in the mirror in front on him. He had successfully avoided his reflection throughout his preparations that morning, ensuring the bathroom mirror was fogged with the steam of the shower before he stole a glance at it.

He tightened his jaw as he appraised his look. He found the eyes of a frightened young Englishmen, a weak chin and unassuming stature. The man in the mirror was still, after all those years, the love struck poet who could never find his place in society.

The fact that he was standing in the pharmacy, staring at himself, only proved that he was still a useless fool as a human. Turning quickly, he set his shoulders and made up his mind: although he needed to breath, eat and piss he did not need to act like a human. He was Spike and not William - never William. He sauntered to the counter to pay for the glasses, ignoring the voice in his head remarking at the irony of him buying glasses while declaring himself still an evil vampire.

The strange old man that had followed him earlier, eyed him suspiciously as he placed the glasses on the counter for purchase. The shop owner kept steady eye contact throughout the exchange of money and until Spike finally blew him a kiss on his way out the door.

++++

"Spike's really human?" Tara questioned her former lover. Tara had always held a soft spot for Spike, feeling that he was misunderstood. There seemed to be more to him than met the eye. The idea of seeing him human gave her warm fuzzies.

"Yup, human. Not much different though." Willow responded, while pulling out a few more volumes to pile onto the already overloaded table. "You'd think he'd be all… different. But he's really like pissed-off-at-the-world Spike. Just like when he got his chip. Only now Xander has his chip."

"And Xander was acting schizophrenic, you said on the phone?" Tara probed.

The red head worried her brow a moment, remembering Xander's lunge at her throat the night before. "Umm. more like Mr Hyde comes out to play every once in a while. Let's just say I'm glad he's harmless."

Both witches turned as the front door bell to the Magic Box chimed and Spike strolled in. Walking directly to the table filled with books, he stated "We're gonna turn me dead again and right quick." Spike turned a chair and plopped himself on it. Putting on his new specs, he started making a list of books he would require.

The witches exchanged a shrug and joined the former vampire in the search to renew his eternal damnation.

+++++

"That was Xander." Willow announced, returning to the table after hanging up the phone.

"Hasn't taken a walk yet has he? Lovely sunny day, shame he should miss it." Spike sneered, not looking up from his book.

"You'd think you two would get along better now." Tara suggested. In answer to the confused look she got, she clarified: "What with you having so much in common."

"In common? That overgrown Tonka Truck fan and I live in different worlds. Did before, still do. We've just switched sides" Ignoring the unintentional double-entendre, Spike turned to the redhead. "How about his work?"

Surprised at Spike's interest, she confirmed "He mentioned he called in sick. Something about an allergic reaction to the current weather."

"Good. Can't have him get fired while he needs to be providing me with room and board." Spike snickered to himself.

Willow sat down beside him and picked up a book adding casually, "Glad you think so, since as of tomorrow you are the 'cousin' that will be filling in for him until his 'allergy' clears up." She tried to refuse to meet the blond's glare but couldn't help a peek. An uncontrollable smile played on her lips. His astonished look was even funnier then his glasses that her and Tara had fought to not comment on.

++++

"Hey guys!" Dawn greeted everyone as she bounced into the Magic Box and took a seat beside Spike. "So, is it true - are you really human? Willow told me this morning, but I was already late for school so she couldn't tell me all the details. So are you? Human?"

Spike waited impatiently until Dawn broke long enough for him to get a word in. "Yes. I'm human. Don't know what happened. Tryin' to fix it." He summarized curtly.

Dawn assessed him for a moment. The hair, the glasses - no duster. "You look human."

"Gee thanks. Gonna write for Hallmark someday?" Spike responded sarcastically.

"I mean, you look different. Your hair's all soft and curly." She reached up and tussled his blond locks. Willow and Tara couldn't help their giggles from escaping.

"Oi! Watch the hair. I couldn't fix up my hair with the crap that Harris uses. I left the stuff in my crypt that I need to make the perfect hair that you birds are used to." Spike self-consciously patted his hair back into the mess of curls that he labeled as 'at least better than Angel's'. "Here Bit - get to work. Look for anything about vampires turning back to human." Spike changed the topic by handing Dawn a book that almost weighed more then her.

++++

Xander woke to an empty house - again. As with every morning since the wedding he kept his routine of checking each room to confirm he was alone. He convinced himself that it was Anya he was checking for just like yesterday. Solitude confirmed, the rest of the morning had been spent coming up with a good excuse for work. Spike was going to kill him about the cousin thing - but his boss had explained that if the crew missed their dead lines because of Xander, he'd be looking for a new job. Xander had chuckled to himself at human Spike trying to keep up with a Foreman who's behind schedule. He opted not to think about why he trusted Spike enough to not get him fired.

With his work under control, the newly vampired brunet took to mixing blood with various foods to see what it tasted like. Cereal was the best - Count Chocula - mmm chocolatey goodness. Overall he found being a vampire was pretty enjoyable except for the sunlight clause.

Later in the day he'd gotten bored and started to come down from his sugar high. His mind wandered to what was happening at the Magic Box. He wondered what everyone had thought when Spike told them about the kiss. The image of the gang gathered around the peroxide menace, watching him recount the story in great detail replayed several times in his head. About how Xander tried to take advantage of him. Like all great story tellers Spike probably embellished the story to include tongues or nakedness or handcuffs. mmm, Spike in handcuffs, oops off track. Where was he - oh yay - Spike lying to the gang and them believing him because that's what they do. They believe the humans and not the outsiders. Becoming a vampire made him an outsider. God, he resented that!

What right did they have to judge him! Maybe he kissed Spike because he wanted to. And it wasn't homo-erotic guilt playing on his mind. Maybe that's what vampires do. They see someone they want to kiss and they just do it. Better way to live than all that dating crap only to end with an abandoned bride on her wedding day. Life was simpler as a vampire. He should know. He'd been one for almost twenty-four hours. They didn't understand. They just wanted to hate him for kissing Spike, because Spike turned all his friends against him.

Night fell and Xander took the journey to the Magic Box. By sundown, he had given himself over to the ever present rage that was inherent to demon physiology. Paranoia and bitterness were paramount in his mind. He was convinced that within a few hours Spike had taken his place in the gang. Humanity was so biased.

He stood outside the shop and watched the people inside for confirmation of his suspicions. Dawn was there, standing close to curly haired Spike that wore glasses! He looked gorgeous. Xander let out a frustrated groan as the memory of last night came back to him. Spike's tender lips, warm and soft against his. His cock twitched in response. In his dream those lips felt like hot silk sucking him off. He had managed to not think of Spike, or his dream or those lips yet today but now he felt like he'd been hard for hours. His demon surfaced at the loss of control.

Movement inside the shop caught his eye, pulling his attention back to the Scoobies he'd been watching. Dawn held up a book to Spike and was pointing to a page. Spike read and started to laugh. He turned to the women around the table and began to explain something in great detail. He was making quite a show of his speech with grand hand gestures and what sounded like acting out different voices from what Xander could hear. Throughout the story Dawn was laughing, and Willow and Tara joined in. They all thought Spike was funny! They never used to think Spike was funny. They never really even thought I was funny.

Xander backed away from the window not interested in witnessing any more of the show. A few feet from the window he backed into a metal garbage can beside the sidewalk. Furious at everything, he began to pound his fist and feet into the sides until it was mangled beyond recognition.

Little satisfaction was obtained by the violence and his mood plummeted further. He let it envelop him. He could feel the demon in him relished it. Power seemed to flow stronger through him as he let the demon take further control. If Spike could take his place, then he could take Spike's - as the Big Bad. With that purpose in mind, he entered the shop.

Within a few steps he was entranced by the scents and sounds of the group gathered around the table. Each one was so familiar and so distinct from each other. He picked out the herbal mixture that Tara used as a wash for her hair and body. It was the same delicate aroma that he had often picked up on Willow, probably from them showering together. Naked and soap covered, they would run their fingers gently over each others bodies. He pictured them giggling and kissing as they dipped their heads under the hot stream of water. They had never invited him to join in on their most intimate moments. Yesterday the image was a fantasy but today their seclusion was a reminder of his 'unwelcome' status.

The dejection made him glance towards Spike. The former punk vampire appeared quite the intellect with his glasses sitting low on his face and his nose buried deep in a book. His soft blond curls fell forward, only to be severely disciplined back as a hand roughly pushed the lock out of the way. As Xander watched the unruly hair move back out of place, scent recognition hit him. Spike smelled like Anya. He must have used her shampoo that Xander had never bothered to throw out when she left. Spike had showered at the apartment. His mind stepped through the image.

****

A shirtless Spike slowly stripped out of his jeans. His cock still standing proudly from his waking, moments before. It casually bounced as he moved through the bathroom: turning on the water, placing the shampoo on the side of the tub, bending down to check the water temperature. Soon he was in the shower, his perfect pale chest was covered in suds. Grabbing the shampoo, he squeezed a generous helping into his hand and began lathering his swelled member. He slowly pumped his fist over his slick cock, arching his back with each stroke.

Xander joined in the fantasy scene. He saw himself pull back the curtain and watch the erotic display. With a surge of inhibition, he stepped into the shower behind the beautiful blond. "Can I help with that?" He whispered in a rough sexy voice.

Spike froze at the sound. Removing his hand from his member he slowly turned towards the intruder. "What. The. FUCK. Are. You. Doing?" Spike quipped, accentuating each word. Xander's undead heart leapt into his throat as his eyes caught Spike's cold stare.

"Get. The. FUCK. Out. Of. My. Shower." Spike snarled, adding "You poofter! "

Xander felt his fantasy turn into a nightmare as he saw himself pushed from the shower by Spike. A naked, wet and soapy Spike stood over him scowling. "Go find some fag to butt-fuck. I'm not into blokes."

****

'Yeah, well neither am I.' Xander thought to himself. Unfortunately, he couldn't explain why his last fantasy created a surge of heat to his cock that surpassed the effect of the lesbian shower image. Not wanting to think too much into it he tried to shake off both the erotic imagery and the feeling of rejection.

Concentrating on his earlier decision to embrace his demon-ness, he took a step further into the shop.

++++

Still laughing at Spike story about Angelus' first encounter with a Leprechaun, none of the researches noticed their undead friend approach.

"Aren't we a cosy bunch" Xander sneered accusingly.

Willow turned and frowned at the monstrous scowl on her best friend's face. "Hi Xander, we haven't gotten very far with the clues. Maybe you could pick up some of the books on the counter. We haven't gotten to those yet."

"I'm thinking not." The brunet stated and sat on a chair off to the side of the table.

Willow and Tara exchanged looks to which Tara mouthed the words "Mr Hyde" and Willow gave a nervous half smile.

Spike took in the exchange in silence. Xander clearly wasn't controlling his demon very well. He looked ready to switch to game face any minute and his hard on evident even through his baggy pants. It was easy to give into the rush of power when you get all pissed off about something or just really horny. At least Xander was chipped, no telling what he would do if he wasn't. Spike followed the girls' lead at returning to work and hoped the storm would pass.

++++

"Dawn, would you be a dear and fetch this volume for me?", Spike requested, handing Dawn a piece of paper with instructions scribbled on it. "I've seen on the shelves downstairs." Dawn rolled her eyes but took the paper with a nod.

"Thanks sweetness." Spike chuckled as he rubbed her head mirroring Dawn's earlier attention. The teenager scowled at the assault and turned to the basement, fixing her hair on the way.

Xander followed, unnoticed.

Xander looked across the basement and saw her stretching for book just out of reach. Her crop shirt was lifted enough to reveal the edge of the white cotton bra underneath. The curve of her breast strained against the thin fabric of her shirt as she reached to meet her impossible goal. He had never noticed those breasts before, or the new swell of her hips transforming her young body into that of a women.

"Here, let me get that for you Dawn."

Dawn gasped in surprise as she turned to find Xander only inches from her. His silent approach was pretty creepy but his familiar goofy smile assured her that it was still just Xander, even if everyone was freaking out that he was now a vampire. "Oh, thanks. Spike wants the one with the silver writing up there and I guess I should have just gotten a chair." Dawn responded cheerfully. She tried to point to the appropriate spot on the shelf but was impended by Xander's proximity. Feeling claustrophobic, she tried to move out of his way.

Xander moved in closer, blocking her escape. "Where are you going Dawnie? I need your help to find this book", the vampire whispered to her in a seductive voice. Her eyes widened in surprise as Dawn felt a cool hand gently touch the exposed skin above her waist band. A second hand moved to her cheek and began tracing a path down to her jaw line.

Xander heard her heart begin to pound and recognized the scent that he now associated with fear - it was an amazing sensory experience. Logic won over temptation and he pulled back slightly, not wanting her to scream.

"Dawn, it's ok. It's me Xander. I'm not going to hurt you." He smiled reassuringly at the frightened youth, all the while dancing his fingers around her hips and the small of her back. He leaned closer so that his lips feathered her earlobe as he spoke "I hadn't noticed how much you've grown up. You're a very beautiful girl, Dawn."

Dawn's eyes sprang open in shock. His breath on her neck was giving her goosebumps. Her mind went foggy as it raced through her options. She didn't know what she wanted to do. It was just Xander, right? If it wasn't safe, she wouldn't be allowed around him. She was sure of it. What if she called out for help and everyone laughed at her? Maybe he had a crush on her, just like she had on him? As much as she was scared, Xander's closeness was also making her feel funny. Good funny. Never felt 'funny' like that before.

She cleared her throat nervously, unsure what was about to come up. "um, Xander. I don't understand.."

"Shhh. Dawn." Xander cut her concerns short and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Bet you've never done this before have you? I'll be very good to you." He pressed his erection into her hip to ensure his meaning was clear.

Before Xander knew what was happening, he was thrown to the floor and a flash of black and blond were on him. The human punches were weak, but accurate enough to do damage. He soon felt a final blow powerful enough to thrust his head against to cement and consciousness left him.

Dawn watched Spike lift himself off Xander and turn to her. She still stood against the bookshelf staring wide eyed in fear? Embarrassment? Disappointment? She wasn't sure. He advanced toward her. He was clearly making an effort to calm his breathing and his emotions before he spoke.

Thinking it safe enough to trust his voice, Spike asked softly "Are you all right there, bit? He didn't (pause) hurt you did he?"

A thick red blush rose to her cheeks as she lowered her eyes and shook her head. Spike reached his hand out to touch her shoulder. She flinched. She didn't mean to flinch it was just that she felt so flustered. Angry at Xander for playing with her that way. Because he was playing, manipulating, having a bit of fun - right? Because he's a soulless vampire, not because she's beautiful. She ran up the stairs, away from Spike's knowing eyes.

"Dawn! Dawn!" Spike followed her up to the main floor. Entering the main room, he spotted Dawn heading out the front door. Tara and Willow were looking between him and the front door in panic. "One of you should go after her. I don't think she'll talk to me."

Tara immediately rose and, with a nod from Willow, left in pursuit of the teenager.

Spike's eyes fell to his bloody hands. He was pretty sure at least a few of his fragile human fingers were broken. They hurt like a son of a bitch. Funny thing was, he'd probably done a lot more damage to himself than to Xander. Stupid git. What the hell was going on down there. Dawn of all people. Dawn. Spike's sweet little bit. He felt his rage mount again.

Spike had gone down to check if Dawn had problems finding the book, it was on a pretty high shelf. When he saw the two up against the bookshelf, he was more afraid for Dawn then angry. Now that he had a moment to think, her panicked (and not so panicked) eyes played on his mind. He was enraged. He headed to the basement to find the offender. If living with Angelus for over a decade had taught him anything, it was how to discipline a vampire.


Chapter 6 - Consequences

"He's gone." Spike ran up the stairs screaming, "The son of a bitch is gone. Bloody bastard! When I find him there will be hell to pay."

"Spike!" Willow tried to catch him as he headed for the front door. "Stop! Tell me what happened."

Spike clenched his fists as pain from his broken fingers shot up his arms. "The ambitious bloke tried to have spot of fun with Dawn."

"Xander tried to attack Dawn? But the chip?" Willow questioned, trying to understand what had happened.

"The chip only goes off if you intend to hurt someone. Xander wasn't trying to ‘hurt’ Dawn." Spike emphasized the word hurt hoping Willow would guess the rest.

"But then, what was he…" Willow thought a moment. "Oh. Oh! He.. Dawn. Ohmygod! Poor Dawn!"

"Why poor Dawn?" Buffy asked as she walked towards the pair from the training room door.

Spike and Willow exchanged looks of panic.

Willow rescued the situation with "Oh you know, teenage stuff, she, um, she doesn't have a date to the dance."

Buffy eyed the two suspiciously but they nodded innocently and willed her to believe their excuse. Adding a big sister's rage would really confuse an already too complicated situation.

Buffy shrugged and accepted, "Yeah. Poor Dawn. I remember being 15 where all your problems seem so big. Fighting vampires and getting kicked out of school. Gosh, Dawn doesn't have a date, must seem like the end of the world," she noted bitterly. As soon as the words were out, Buffy felt a pang of guilt for her sarcasm. Her little sister's had to go through arguably a lot more than Buffy herself had to at 15.

"Sorry guys, I'm just in bitchy mood" She muttered to herself, stealing a look at Spike.

He looked nervous. And a bit mad. Like he was trying to control his emotions. And his hands were bloody. She thought back to the night after she returned from the dead and the bloody hands that he tried to hide from her. She guessed that Spike wasn't dealing with being human any better then she was dealing with him refusing to stay that way. It had taken everything in her to just come and try to help. Spike and Xander were her friends, and despite her feelings about Spike remaining human, she had to at least help find a way to get Xander back.

"So where is the troubled one? Maybe I can solve the crisis with some ice cream." The slayer smiled, trying to lighten her own mood as well as everyone else's.

Any response to the question was interrupted by the bell over the front door chiming.

"I can't find her anywhere!" A breathless Tara proclaimed as she rushed through the door. She stopped abruptly as three sets of eyes turned to her.

Thankfully, Willow jumped to her aid. "Gosh, she must be pretty broken up about not having a date to homecoming for her to take off like that." Willow nodded for Tara to agree.

"Yeah, she's very sensitive to that kind of thing." Tara offered, hoping what she said was appropriate for whatever lie was being told to Buffy.

An extended silence passed as everyone tried to find a way out of the Magic Box. "Now that I think about it, Dawn could have been back at the house with the doors locked. I don't have a key any more, so I couldn't check inside the house. Buffy can you come with me to look?" Tara suggested. Buffy agreed and followed Tara out the door to everyone's relief.

+++++

Xander woke soon after losing consciousness. The last image in his mind was the look of hatred in Spike's eyes as he pounded his fists into Xander's face. He was surprised and a little disappointed at how little he hurt. Is that what it feels like when I hit a vampire? It all seemed so muted. Like Spike's full strength would crush his own bones before it could damage Xander.

His revelry stopped when he heard the sounds of someone walking down the stairs. Instinctively he darted through the basement passage into the sewers and kept running, confident he would not be caught.

+++++

Spike moved through the cemetery purposefully. He didn't plan to stay long. Running into a vampire or demon in his current state would be deadly. He had enough enemies in Sunnydale. Even if he survived the night it wouldn't be long before word spread.

With that thought in mind, he increased his steady pace to his crypt. Xander's apartment certainly wasn't equipped for the lessons that Spike intended to teach.

Entering the crypt, he quickly gathered every manacle and instrument of torture he could carry, which turned out to be much less than Spike had hoped for.

+++++

"Dawn? Dawn? " Buffy called out as she entered the Summers' home.

Oh great - Buffy, Dawn scowled. The last person I want to talk to about what happened. Dawn had run through the scene in her head a few dozen times since flying out of the Magic Box: cool hands on her skin, cools lips on her earlobe, sexy voice whispering compliments, hardness grinding into her hip.

But then Spike came in.

And he saw. She was sure he knew everything. Every word Xander said, every touch Xander gave, every tingle that she felt. The look in Spike's eyes said he knew everything. She felt herself blush at the thought.

Dawn heard a knock at her bedroom door. "Dawn are you in there? I know what you're upset about and it's ok. " Buffy's voice came through the shut door.

She knows? Everything? I think I'm going to die of embarrassment.

Then came Tara's voice sounding more nervous than usual. "Hey Dawnie, we told Buffy about how upset you are about not having a date for the dance."

Dance? What dance?

Buffy continued to offer her support "I didn't have a date to a few dances either. I was pretty bummed too. If you wanna go out for ice cream or anything I can patrol later."

Oh! Dance like as in the red herring dance - 'that' dance. Thank god Buffy didn't know.

Dawn walked up to the door but did not open it. "Thanks anyway Buffy, but really I'm ok. You can go patrol." She hoped that Buffy would not pick tonight to be the prefect sister that doesn't let anyone mope.

"Ok. If you're sure?"

"I'm sure. Thanks, though. I will take a rain cheque on that ice cream. "

"You're on!" She heard Buffy begin to bound down the stairs.

"Dawn?" Tara this time. "Is it ok if I hang out for a bit? Maybe you might feel like talking, um, later."

Later? Like when Buffy had gone out and she didn't have to explain to her sister that she was caught groping a vampire in the basement of the Magic Box? "Sure, whatever you want."

+++++

Xander wandered through the sewer tunnels for a while, but they were just as disgusting to VampireXander as they were to HumanXander. Soon he couldn't stand it any more and climbed to the surface. He wandered through the streets. He knew to avoid the cemeteries - it would be the first place they would look. He considered his options. Spike would find him eventually and that would end in more of the same treatment. Xander thought back to the feisty human, fists flying at him, tackling him to the ground, forcing him still with the weight of his small body. Xander went hard. Maybe more of the same wasn't so bad.

Xander smiled as he turned down a street to head back home.

+++++

Spike was not surprised to see Xander waiting for him at the apartment. He had felt Xander's erection pressing against him when he pinned the vampire to the basement floor and guessed that Xander understood: for vampires the punishment is often as fun as the crime. And sometimes, it was the entire reason for the crime in the first place. Hadn't it been that way for Spike in those early years? Any momentary pain was worth the undivided attention of Angelus. Xander was about to get some of that same attention.

"Come here, boy." Spike commanded uncharacteristically. Xander immediately rose from the couch and walked over. He stood smirking at the blond. Spike quickly raised a tire iron and hit the brunet over the head, knocking him unconscious for the second time that night.

+++++

Dawn finally left her room a half-hour after she had heard Buffy leave. Tara was sitting on the couch, not reading a magazine. "Hi." The teenager smiled shyly.

"Hi, Dawn." Tara responded warmly and moved over so Dawn could join her. After Dawn sat down and remained silent, Tara decided to take the first step. "I called Willow to let her know that we found you. She told me what happened, well not really what happened because we don't know, but I get the basic idea."

Dawn refused to make eye contact.

"You don't need to tell me anything. But I think it would be good to talk to someone - an adult - about what happened. It's important that this doesn't make you afraid of, um, anything in the future. And it doesn't need to be me. You might prefer to talk to Buffy or Willow or Spike"

Dawn's eyes shot up to meet Tara's in horror.

"Ok, not Spike. But you should talk to someone about what you are feeling."

Dawn let out a sigh and muttered, "You. I'd rather talk to you. Even though I'm not sure you'll understand with being not into guys and all."

Tara smirked "I'll give it a try."

Dawn went on to explain what had happened using a lot of "ums", "you knows" and "kindas", but Tara understood the basics.

"Dawn, you shouldn't feel bad that you don't feel bad. Sex is a very good thing and touches make your body feel very good. That why we do it. But what Xander was trying to do wasn't right. You're too young and he had an unfair amount of influence over you. That's what makes it wrong."

The teenager looked unconvinced at the simple explanation. It seemed so much more complicated.

"But how am I ever going to be able to look Xander in the face again. I'm just so embarrassed. He knew I was liking it." Dawn held her hand over her face to hide her deep blush.

"We'll just have to deal with it when it happens, but for now I think it's safe to say that Spike is not going to let Xander anywhere near you while he's still a vampire."

+++++

Xander woke to find himself strapped to a bed, hands and feet tied spread eagle to the bed posts. A blind fold prevented him from seeing anything, but he knew Spike was in the room.

"Wakey, wakey! Xander."

The captive heard the sarcasm in the tone and knew he was in trouble. As Spike moved in closer the air shifted in the room. A chill up his body notified him that he was naked. His mind raced through all the pleasurable possibilities of the punishment that could be done in his vulnerable position.

"Aren't we a horny vampire! Getting hard just from being tied up?"

Xander felt very little shame at his exposure. Quite the opposite in fact. He enjoyed his helplessness; it gave him an excuse for his lack of control. He decided this must come with the vampire package, before yesterday there was no way this position would be stimulating, more like entirely humiliating.

Spike watched as Xander's penis became fully erect and he willed himself not to react in kind. He intended this to truly be punishment not some type of reward/punishment hybrid. What Xander had done to Dawn could not be excused and unless the vampire understood his boundaries he would be uncontrollable until the switch got resolved.

Spike focused on making his voice sound cold. "We aren't here for licks and tickles, Harris. You crossed a line. You touched someone that is under my protection. That is unforgivable. Punishable by death."

Xander's breath caught in his throat. The reality of his situation was slowly sinking in. For the first time he realized that he could just turn to dust and no one would ever know. Spike could just tell everyone that he'd left town. His death had never appeared so disappointing in his imagination. He always thought that he'd have a stupid but heroic death, hopefully saving the world in the process.

Spike watched the change in the vampire's expression. His entire body morphed from tingling excitement to despair. Good, Spike thought, he's ready. Grabbing the bottle and the eye dropper off the side table, he moved over to stand beside the bed. He leaned into Xander's ear and whispered "Don't worry, we'll make sure you learn your lesson first."

Spike started with the right wrist. He slowly released a small drop of water onto the vampire's skin and watched the skin sizzle.

Xander hissed at the searing pain in his wrist. It was short lived and concentrated like touching a hot pan and seconds later realizing how badly you were burned. His mind began to race through the possibilities of escape. This was not how it was supposed to go. It was supposed to be pleasurepain, not just pain.

Spike methodically dropped the smallest bits of holy water randomly on Xander's body: at the back of the ankle, below the Adam's apple, the curve of his hip, his inner thigh, a circle around the navel. He would stop for a few moments in between each. The real torture came with the anticipation. Some drops would be larger than others. The victim never knew when the next one would come, where it would be placed and how much it would hurt. In Spike's rage, it seemed brilliant.

The best thing was that it was painful but did no serious damage. A vampire would survive for days, even months and still be able to recover physically if not mentally. VampireXander would learn his lesson and HumanXander would not be permanently damaged.

Xander struggled against the restraints, twisting and shifting with each drop. His struggle for freedom soon turned into a hope for mercy.

After two hours and one hundred and four burns covering his body, Xander passed out from the pain.

Spike watch the sleeping vampire. The guilt of the hurt he had inflicted began to settle in. His only hope was that it was enough to keep Xander in line and from getting staked. He dreaded the hatred he would see in those beautiful brown eyes when they opened.

+++++

"Anyanka! It's been forever! How are you?" Halfrek squealed as she walked into the restaurant to find her old friend at the bar. Taking a seat beside the depressed blonde, she ordered a Cosmopolitan.

Anya did not look up from playing with a plastic pink stirstick. She simply sighed and let her lip slip into a pout.

"Oh don't be like that, hun. I mean, he was just a human? What were you thinking really?." Halfrek attempted to comfort her friend.

"Hallie! Please. You aren't making this any easier. I know he's a human but so was I, remember? He was good to me and I loved him." Anya sniffled theatrically. "And he left me. He left me!"

"There, there, sweetie." Hallie patted Anya gently on the back and handed her a tissue. "You're a demon now. You'll feel better once you start helping others and making penises fall off."

Anya cried even more loudly, "but what about me? Who's gonna help me feel better?"

"Silly! That's me of course. That's why I'm here - to tell you that I got you some justice." The plump brunet smiled proudly.

"What did you do to my Xander!" Anya responded, suddenly forgetting her aching heart.

"Calm down Anyanka! I didn't do anything to make him ugly."

"But you couldn't use your powers for your own purposes. You have to have someone in need to make a wish."

Halfrek smiled slyly. "There was a wish, intentional or not. It was a wish. Your little human and William should watch what they say." Anya waited silently for her to elaborate. "They just said they wished to live each others lives or something like that. What ever they said, it was enough. Poof! They switched." The demon let out a delicate giggle at the fun of it all.

"What!" Anya's voice cracked as her volume rose. "What do you mean 'switched'."

"Anya! Really! Calm down. Your panic is very unbecoming. You'll get wrinkles from frowning like that."

"Halfrek - you tell me right now what you did to Xander!"

"Oh, all right. Xander's now a vampire and William's a human. No real harm done."

"'My' Xander's a vampire? Out there killing people? Buffy! What if Buffy stakes him? Halfrek, how could you?" With a wave of her hand Anya vanished.

+++++

Xander woke the next morning surrounded by pain. The feel of the sheet covering his body was intensely irritating. The slightest movement made the cotton scratch against the tiny spots of agony. He didn't even notice that he was no longer tied up. He slowly opened his eyes to see Spike walking towards him and flinched.

The flinch did not go unnoticed. He hates me, Spike thought sadly and quickly assured himself that it didn't matter to him. He was convinced that being human was making him soft. Either that or the two long hours of painful cries and the smell of burning flesh had been too much for a human heart to bear. He was at least happy to see that one session would be enough to deter the fledgling from any more adventures. Spike sat on the bed beside Xander. It was time for closure, to ensure that there were no permanent physical or emotional scars.

"Xander, get up!" Spike commanded. Xander obediently sat up to face his captor. Spike grabbed the vampire's face with both hands, avoiding each burn location that he'd committed to memory. In the chocolate brown eyes that stared up at him, he saw no hate, only fear.

"You will never touch Dawn again." Xander vehemently nodded his agreement. Xander fought the instinct to push away from the hot hands covering his cheeks. He knew it was important to stay and listen, even as a cold chill of dread crept down his spine.

"You will never touch Buffy or any of the other birds." Xander continued nodding, praying that a stake was not imminent.

"If you ever do," Xander shook his head that he would not "if you ever do, I will not kill you. I will tie you up and slowly burn every piece of skin off your body over a period of months." Xander looked into cold blue eyes in shock. He silently begged for forgiveness, not only to spare his life but also forgiveness from Spike. The look of Spike's contempt burned into him.

Spike felt a piece of his newly beating heart brake at the pleading, desperate face in front of him.

"Do you understand?" Xander again nodded, afraid to speak.

"Good." Spike's blue eyes turned soft and warm as a smile played on his lips. "Let's get you better then."

The human moved so that he sat directly behind Xander. He encouraged the vampire to press back against his warm chest. Leaning forward, Spike explained, "Human blood's the best way to get you healed quickly." He lifted his arm up and offered his wrist to the brunet.

Xander was overwhelmed. The heat and the comfort in Spike's voice was so soothing. He never thought he'd be able to look at that sharp pale face again without flinching. But this, offering his own blood after knowing about the transgressions of the basement. Xander felt honoured, unworthy.

Sensing Xander's trepidation, Spike moved his wrist closer. "Come on, I haven't got all day here."

With Spike's wrist practically under his nose, he could smell the skin, feel the heat, hear the blood pumping. Without him realizing it, his fangs had elongated. He grasped the wrist and slowly moved to his mouth. He tore the skin and blood flooded his mouth and poured onto the white sheets. He greedily devoured the powerful coppery liquid.

Spike clenched his fists at the pain of his skin being ripped. He watched the dark blood gush out and spill onto the bed. Soon he felt the tug of Xander's tongue lapping at the juices, pulling, sucking, needing everything that Spike could give him. His heart raced and his cock hardened. He wrapped his free arm around Xander and pulled him in closer, enveloping him. His cock pressed against the vampire's cool back, demanding friction. Too quickly, Spike noticed a feeling of weakness spreading through his body and knew that they needed to stop even though other parts of his body were pleading for the opposite.

"Xander, luv, that's enough." Spike pulled his wrist away from a protesting mouth. Xander struggled to stop him, needing more. Predicting Xander's lack of control, Spike firmly grasped the hair at the back of the brunet's head and tugged his wrist free. The vampire was rewarded with warm fingers running playfully through his short locks.

"Lick the cut closed now. Go on. Just use your tongue and trace the cut. It'll help me heal."

Xander didn't really understand why he was doing it, but he did what he was told and slowly ran a cool tongue over the still bleeding rip. He heard a soft groan from the human behind him and felt a hot forehead fall on his shoulder while he delicately cleaned all the blood from the wrist. Spike's handed continued to move through Xander's hair with growing urgency.

Wrist clean and quickly healing, Spike rose from the bed not trusting what he was going to do next if he stayed any longer. He felt an overwhelming need to comfort and reassure this lost child. A glossy eyed Xander looked up at him. The vampire looked positively debauched. Still in game face, his fangs were still covered in blood. His hair was in disarray and his body was flushed with the blood he'd just consumed. Spike leaned down to kiss him on his bumpy forehead, but thinking better of it ruffled his hair instead.

"I'd forgotten how good it felt to be drank from. God! What a rush." Spike smiled at Xander's confused face. "I'd love to stay here in bed with you all morning, but some stupid git committed me to work today." He turned and walked awkwardly away trying to adjust his pants.

Xander remained stunned until he finally heard his front door shut and realized he was alone.


Chapter 7 - Coming together

The sun was shining through the Summers' living room window as Buffy arrived home. Tara and Dawn were sprawled on the couch sleeping, surrounded by comfort food. She suppressed a sentimental sigh at the sight. Dawn appeared to have found the courage to leave her room at some point and found Tara's welcoming shoulder to cry on. Buffy crept upstairs, saying a silent thanks for Tara's help in raising Dawn. She couldn't ask for a better role model.

It had been a long night of patrolling, although not that exciting in the slaying part. Mostly, the pumped up slayer just brooded. She had been unsettled since a very human Spike had walked through her front door. Everything about him seemed that much more endearing: his nervous looks, his tender eyes, his sexy smile. Whether those things had been there before or were recent additions she wasn't sure but her feeling about them were certainly new.

She walked into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and washed her face. Ready for bed, she headed towards her room.

Her new feelings were what she wasn't ready to deal with. Why was she so affected by the human version, while every fiber of her told her to keep the vampire version at arms length. The question had been running through her brain all night.

Was he right? Was she really that prejudiced? He hadn't said the word, but that's what he'd meant. That she was too biased against vampires to ever treat him as an equal, no matter what. He was right. She knew vampires and humans were not equal, if they were it would make her a murderer. Was she wrong to want him to be something better then he was, now that he had the chance?

She pulled back the covers, anxious to escape all those questions she had no easy answers for. She hated deep thoughts about herself- especially when it came to Spike. It made her head hurt. Unfortunately, the solace of sleep was going to be denied by someone pounding at her front door.

+++++

Xander stared at his front door. . His entire body tingled with energy. He could no longer sit, so he stood still naked and fangy. But standing was only entertaining for so long, so he walked to the kitchen and found nothing of interest there. He made his way around his apartment and back until he finally set into a quick pace from one end of the living room and back.

Spike had forgiven him. He had somehow earned forgiveness by enduring torture. How sick is that? a voice in the back of his head whispered, but to another part of him it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He would need to find out more about this vampire stuff. The memory of this morning's offering came back to him. Spike had offered his own blood to help him heal. That seemed kinda significant. Maybe it was special because Spike was a master vampire, or that Spike usually didn't do anything nice for Xander, or maybe he never thought those sexy blue eyes would look at him without disdain. Whatever the reason, Xander new that the free offer of blood was big - jumbo slushie big.

He must have taken at least a pint. He could feel Spike's blood filter itself through his dead body with a slow spread of power. Wow! Was all human blood that yummy or was Spike's somehow supercharged? Maybe being a century old master vampire had rubbed off? The blood had tasted better than Xander had imagined possible, better than all chocolate bars rolled into one. He wondered if he'd ever get another taste. The wait until Spike returned home was driving the impatient vampire up the wall.

Xander entered the bedroom and sat down on the bed. He focused on the memory: The smell of Spike's skin right under his nose, the feel of a hot chest behind him, the sound of a heart beating loudly in his ears, pumping more blood into his mouth. It was life giving. It was erotic.

He slipped his hand down to lightly circle the swollen tip of his erection, where a bead of pre-cum that had formed already. He shut his eyes and leaned against his headboard, giving into the fantasy. He thought of Spike's cock rocking against the small of his back. This time, rather than Spike pulling him closer with his free hand, the hand moved lower and surrounded Xander's throbbing cock. Xander's own hand matched his thoughts. He began to slowly stroke himself, while in his mind, he gripped Spike's wrist tightly and drank until he was sated. Xander ran his tongue over his elongated fangs, ignoring that his own blood feel short of this mornings delicacy. As the blood poured out of Spike's body, the blond in his fantasy began to frantically thrust against his back and pull at his cock, screaming his name. Xander's hand picked up the pace, pumping fiercely from base to tip. With a strangled cry, Xander came.

+++++

"Buffy! Anya's here!" Dawn screamed from the bottom of the steps.

Tara and Dawn did their best to ask and say all the right things until Buffy joined them. Unfortunately, it ended up being more of a one sided interrogation of "can I get you anything", "sorry again about the wedding", "how have you been".

None of which Anya really answered.

Buffy soon saved them all from the pleasantries. Anya jumped up immediately upon seeing the slayer and shouted "So Buffy," she twisted her hands together nervously "any interesting slaying lately."

Buffy stared in disbelief at Anya's exaggerated smile. "Anya? Are you ok?"

"Me? Fine me", the vengeance demon responded in a squeaky high voice and a fake giggle. "Can't an old friend take a healthy interest in your job?" She stepped forward and lightly tapped Buffy shoulder with a friendly punch.

Buffy looked at Anya as if she'd grown a second head, "Actually things have been pretty quite on the slayage front."

"Oh thank god!"

"Anya? Why are you asking?"

"No reason. On a completely different topic, here's a hypothetical question: just say someone you knew were to become a vampire, you wouldn't stake them without good reason would you?" Anya asked, pretending to be coy.

The second head disappeared. "Anya, it's ok. I know about Xander. I'm not going to stake him."

"You're not?" Anya replied, surprised. "But that's what you do. You stake vampires, except Spike and that Angel guy."

Buffy swallowed her frustration at her life being described with absolutes. "Well, first off Xander is chipped. And secondly and well maybe this should have been firstly, he's Xander. And we are looking for a way to reverse it. We think it was spell, since he wasn't bitten and since Spike's human now."

"So he's safe?" Anya asked nervously.

Buffy looked at her confused "From me? Yes."

"Where is he now?"

"At the apartment, Spike's staying there too - being human and all."

Anya processed all the information she'd received. With Xander out of immediate danger, she allowed her mind to drift to more pleasant things. Dracula had been so sexy with his mysterious eyes and sexy voice. She wondered what Xander was like. "So is Xander even more sexy as a vampire? I bet he is."

None of the girls in the room wanted to tackle a response to that one. Until Tara offered up, "He's kinda just Xander - only scary. All grr sometime you know?"

"He attacked Willow before he knew about the chip." Buffy added.

Anya's expression turned cold "Of course he'd attack Willow."

"Oh no, it was nothing like that. He's pretty ready to attack anyone." Tara tried to compensate without exposing Dawn's secret. "Anya, if you know of anyway to reverse this."

Anya snapped out of her jealousy. The sooner Xander was back to normal, the sooner he could beg her to come back to him. "No problem! I'm on it!" She exclaimed proudly and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"Wait!! Only for Xander. Only reverse it for Xander." Buffy shouted desperately into the cloud.

As the smoke dissipated, Buffy was faced with two shocked pair of eyes.

"What?" The blonde asked defensively, not keeping eye contact.

"Um, Buffy is there something you want to tell us?" Her little sister inquired with a smirk.

+++++

It had been an truly horrible day at the construction site, Spike thought to himself as he pulled Xander's car into the apartment parking lot. The guys had been pretty rough on him, particularly when the Foreman's very pretty assistant came to bring them coffee. One look at his pale skin and soft hands, and his co-workers had been convinced Harris' "cousin" had never done an honest day's work in his life.

In the end he'd likely accomplished little more than proving them right. Given his inexperience with construction work and that the blood loss from earlier had made him weak, Spike thought was pretty good. They'd had him pegged as a wanker the moment he'd walked in and the only female on the site began to fawn over him. No amount of hard work, had he succeeded in doing any would win him respect. Maybe tomorrow would be better. Then he wouldn't be slowed down by low blood pressure and thoughts of Xander's lips on his wrist. He wasn't sure why he wouldn't be thinking of Xander tomorrow, but he couldn't explain why he was thinking of him today either. Therefore it seemed to make sense that today was a fluke brought on by the experience of last night. Tomorrow everything would be better and he would no longer be obsessing over the half-boy half-vampire whom he didn't even like anyway.

Then again maybe he did like him. A little bit anyway. Xander was annoying and obnoxious. Needy and desperate. All in all - very familiar. Maybe too familiar. Did he remember to mention sexy? Damn sexy. That muscular tanned body and beautiful brown eyes. A less worldly person than Spike might find himself lost in that silly smile and caring touch forever. Thank goodness that would never happen to Spike.

Spike shook his head at his mental meanderings and opened the apartment door. He was tired and sore from a long day's work in the hot sun with a fragile human body. All he wanted was a shower and a hot meal.

He heard Xander in the kitchen making popcorn. "Make enough for me." The exhausted human shouted in the direction of the kitchen and headed for the bathroom.

Xander listened to the bathroom close and the water turn on. He groaned as the image of Spike showering popped into his head a second time. He felt his body reacting to the image now matched with the sound. The smell of burnt popcorn snapped him out of the fantasy. Crap! He'd have to start over again.

The shower did wonders for Spike's mood. Refreshed and smelling better, he picked up his clothes and shook his head. His black T-shirt was torn and his jeans were coated in cement from bumping into the wheel barrel it was being mixed in. He sighed. What a pathetic day. +++++

"But Hallie, you have to change him back" Anya pleaded. She paced back and forth on Halfrek's plush carpet. This wasn't going as easily as it should.

"Anyanaka, really! You know how I hate to revoke a wish. It's so ungrateful." Halfrek rebuked. Yes, ungrateful was a perfect word to describe how her co-worker was acting. "Besides, why do you care so much? A few hours ago you were crying for vengeance."

Anya stared at her in disbelief. Didn't her friend know anything about love, about reconciliation? "I know what I said before, but I was made then. Now I feel" Anya thought for a moment and found the word she was looking for, "guilty. It's awful."

"Dear sweet Anya," Halfrek smiled condescendingly. Anya had spent way too much time with humans these past few years. She'd gone entirely soft. "Even if I chose to reverse the spell, I can't unless the client who made the wish requests it to be undone. Those are the rules. You should know that!"

"How should I know that? I've never wanted to reverse anything and I've certainly never had a client regret their decision." The blonde defended herself. Halfrek was treating her like a child, even though Anya had a good 800 years on her at least.

"Well those are the rules. You can't have your human turned back unless he wants to return. Just like your friend's little sister actually had to want those people to leave the party or we all would have been stuck there." Halfrek moved in closer, "And I still haven't forgiven you for tricking me that day."

"Of course he wants to return to be human. Don't be silly. Xander wouldn't want to be a vampire."

"I wouldn't be so sure. When I watched him and William that night, they were screaming for justice so badly it was deafening. Now, I hear nothing. Perhaps your Xander Harris found some peace."

"What are you saying? Xander can't just stay a vampire. We had plans. Marriage, children. We got a little delayed, but with some groveling I'm willing to forgive him. He cannot be a vampire!" With a scowl, Anya disappeared to go find out the truth for herself.

+++++

Spike entered the kitchen still wet from his shower, wearing only a white towel hanging low off his hips. He watched as Xander religiously poured a bowl of melted butter onto the freshly popped snack.

"That smells fantastic, pet." Spike smiled, grabbed a handful and shoved it into his mouth. "I'm bloody well famished." He complained between crunches.

The vampire glanced up from his work and stared at the sight in front of him. Spike's wet hair was piled in a mass of unruly curls, releasing small drops of water that feel to a perfectly chiseled chest. His once pale cheeks had a glow of sunburn, highlighting his sharp cheekbones.

With a step forward, Xander took in a deep breath and relished the full scent of fresh-from-the-shower-Spike.

Blue eyes did not waiver from brown as the vampire approached him hungrily. Spike loudly swallowed the remaining popcorn, hoping it did not sound like a nervous gulp. Because why should he be nervous? A fabulously handsome man looks like he wants to pound him into the kitchen floor. Nothing to be nervous about.

Xander watched as Spike's eyes nervously followed his every move. The human gently licked his lips of the remaining salt. It was too much to watch. Before either man knew what was happening, Xander had Spike pinned with his back to the kitchen counter. The vampire's cool body pressed up against the shower-heated nearly naked one.

Xander forced his tongue into the warm human mouth, stealing away all the salty sweetness still remaining there.

Both men groaned as their cocks met in desperate trusts. The sensation rippled though Spike, waking him from his passive state. His tongue sprang to life and began to duel with Xander's for control. Shaking hands moved to the brunet's T-shirt, pulling frantically to remove the barrier between them.

Their mouths separated momentarily for the offending clothing to be removed. Spike's towel was quickly dropped to the ground and two pairs of hands moved to Xander's buckle. After some fumbling, Xander's jeans were opened and the two hard members pressed up against each other, skin on skin. Two moans of pleasure were quickly followed by two cries of pain.

Spike's hand flew to his left shoulder as Xander fell to the floor clutching his head.

"Ow. Sorry about that, got a little carried away I guess." Xander apologized, while Spike helped him to his feet.

Spike chuckled at the vampire still trying to clear his head. The two inspected the bite and found it to be bleeding, but not serious "'S all right. I'll take it as a compliment, being a nummy treat and all."

Xander smiled back sheepishly. "Kinda killed the mood didn't I?"

Spike looked back at him in surprise and then down at his still very hard cock. "Not for me mate. Brought back some tasty memories actually".

Xander looked at Spike trying to figure out whether he was serious, but Spike just raised an eyebrow and smiled deliciously. Taking the blond by the back of the neck, he pulled him in for a long slow kiss. "Perfect," the vampire whispered in a lusty voice. "Turn around. I'll kiss and make it better."

Spike turned around slowly, so that he faced a microwave. He placed his hands on the counter for balance as he felt the now naked vampire slowly move in behind him. A shiver ran down his spine as two strong hands gripped his hips tightly.

Xander focused on keeping control. He was way too anxious to taste this man's blood again. Once was a mistake, but trying to eat your partner a second time was just embarrassing. He carefully ran his tongue over the wound he had inflicted moments before. "To help it heal, right?" his voice was thick with lust as he whispered into Spike's ear.

"Yes." The human's voice cracked and he cleared his throat. It was a struggle to not just lean back and impale himself onto the cock that rested between his cheeks. But the consequence of that would likely be painful for both men, so he let Xander have control. It would be interesting to see just how inventive this white bread boy was.

The vampire smirked at the effect he was having on the typically well controlled blond. Xander slowly began to lick the blood that had begun to drip down Spike's back. The blood was mixing with the water dripping from the wet hair and the salty sweat on the pale skin, giving it a new tangy taste. With short laps, he followed the scarlet trail until he was kneeling behind Spike. All too quickly the wound was closed and the prefect back was no longer marred with any sign of red.

Taking advantage of his new position, Xander licked one firm globe then the other with a flattened tongue. He was probably supposed to think this was gross, but he didn't. So what that it was another man's ass? From Spike's reaction he knew at least it felt good.

Spike shifted slightly away from the counter to relieve some of the pressure from his cock. He felt Xander coax his legs apart and complied. He had no idea what the fledgling had in mind at this point, but he'd won points for creativity so far. The blond let out a soft yelp as he felt a cold tongue begin to circle his opening. Seconds later the feeling of a cold tongue forcing entrance started an uncontrollable series of cries randomly consisting of: "Oh God", "Xander", "please" and "don't stop".

Xander thought he was going to come right there, kneeling on his kitchen floor with his tongue up Spike's ass. Spike was begging for him, need and desperation clear in his voice. Is this what he's been waiting for? To be needed, desperately needed? For Spike to want to be nowhere else but with him, doing this. Feeling Spike squirming above him only increased his confidence. There was this thing Anya had done to him once that blew his mind. If he wanted to convince Spike that no one else should be allowed to touch his cock, then this might just do it.

He removed his tongue, winning a panicked whimper from Spike. Leaning forward he slowly ran his tongue from the back of Spike's balls straight up between his cheeks. Spike cried out something that sounded like 'ack'. The human tried to turn around but Xander's firm hands on his hips stopped any change of position.

Xander let go of the slim hips with a request to behave and maneuvered himself to be directly below Spike and between his legs.

Catching Spike's confused look he smiled up to him with a silent "you'll see". With that he took Spike balls in his mouth and began to roll then about with his tongue. He changed to flicking his tongue lightly over the sternum, then back again. Wetting a finger he slipped one hand back to Spike's hole and gently pushed it in with one stroke. A second finger quickly followed.

Spike tried to relax and accepted the invading fingers. He relished the burning sensation he hadn't felt in so long. He'd forgotten how good it could feel.

Xander's fingers moved tentatively with inexperience, but Spike's moans of encouragement made him ambitious. Soon he had three fingers buried in that tight warmth. His tongue still played lightly at the dangling balls directly above him.

His fingers explored, looking for that spot Anya had used to make him scream. When Spike cried out, he knew he'd found it.

Stars danced before Spike's eyes and his grip tightened on the counter for support. He would need to ask Xander where he'd learned this. A few days ago he would never have imagined the boy held so much talent. Spike cried out again as his prostrate was massaged a second and then a third time. He was close.

Xander felt the body standing above him tighten and he knew Spike wouldn't last much longer. Leaning against Spike's inner thigh for support he lifted his free hand and began to pump the hot swollen cock above him. Must be vampire enhanced co-ordination helping here, Xander thought for a moment.

All conscious thought left Spike as he felt Xander's hand wrap around his erection. He stood frozen in place as the orgasm rippled through him. Xander's hand still milked his cock and pumped cool fingers over his prostrate. The blond increased his white knuckled hold on the counter in a desperate attempt to not pass out. He panted, trying to regain his composure. Bending his head to look between his legs, he saw Xander smiling proudly back at him. "Where in the hell did you learn that Harris?"

Xander giggled with excitement and shuffled out from his awkward position. Standing up behind the still immobile human, he responded proudly "Anya did that to me once, then explained to me in detail why it felt so good. 'Combination of sensations' or something like that. Anyway - nearly made me pass out. Thought you'd like it"

Spike felt something turn over in his gut. "Oh, right - Anya". He chastised himself for his jealousy. What did he think? That Xander was a virgin? Spike was immediately distracted from any further train of though when he felt a cold hard pressure at his opening. He instinctively tightened.

"You got any of the slippery stuff mate? Your gonna set that chip off again if you try to take me dry." Spike asked a little too sharply.

Xander stood silent for a moment before responding with an embarrassed "eek! Sorry about that. It's kind of my first time doing this." He continued to eagerly rub up against the hot sweaty globes surrounding him.

Spike turned to face the suddenly shy vampire. "You mean you and Anya never." Xander shook his head. Spike felt something inside of him leap with joy, which he quickly put aside as ridiculous. The brunet glanced at his own painful erection, desperate to find completion. Spike followed his line of sight and guessed his thoughts. Feeling guilty for his earlier tone, he quickly commented, "We're just going to have to do something about that, won't we." Spike leaned into Xander and gave him a slow, lusty kiss full of promises.

Spike moved back to his place facing the microwave and motioned towards the bowl with the remaining melted butter. Understanding the suggestion, Xander dipped his fingers into the bowl, coating them.

He slowly ran his fingers over his erection, moaning under the much need contact., As soon as he was ready he moved behind Spike and positioned himself.

Spike spread a bit wider, trying to make it as easy as possible. "Go ahead when you're ready. The easiest way is to go a third of the way in and then hold still a mo'" Xander snaked his arms around Spike so that his slippery hands were gripping the other man's hips. Spike braced himself and tried to relax. He could feel himself growing hard again from anticipation.

With one swift stroke, Xander entered as deeply as Spike's tight hole would allow. Spike cried out from the pleasurepain that coursed through his body. He willed himself not to tighten up, knowing there was farther to go. He was so far stretched already he was afraid of how Xander would ever fully fit. After his human body began to adjust to the intrusion and pleasure began to out weight pain. Slowly he push himself back on to Xander, signally he was ready for more.

"So tight, so hot." Xander rested his head on Spike's back. So different from a woman, more intense, more intimate. Tightening his grip on Spike hips, he buried himself fully.

He had to move. One slow pull almost out and a quick push back in and he knew he wouldn't last long. Xander began pumping frantically. His demon came to the fore. A few more thrusts and a fierce orgasm ripped through his body and he let out an animalistic growl. His body continued to shudder in release as he rested against Spike for support.

Spike grabbed his own swollen member and brought himself quickly to a second orgasm. As soon as his body relaxed, Xander's weight became too much for his exhausted body. Both men slid to the floor taking the food on the counter with them.

The two men looked down at their naked bodies covered in sweat, come, butter, salt and popcorn. They shared a short kiss and stumbled to the bedroom to passed out in each other's arms.

Neither man woke at the sound of a pissed off vengeance demon entering the room.

Chapter 8 - Lovers

Spike snuggled closer against the muscular chest he was currently using as a pillow. He let out a sigh of contentment before realizing how much of a ponce it made him sound. Well, too late to take it back now, he thought to himself. Might as well pretend to still be sleeping. It'd be a shame to disturb the sleeping hulk beneath him by trying to cover up that it really was a girly-sigh straight from a romance novel.

Blue eyes fluttered open, despite Spike's intent to fake sleep. Glancing up at the peaceful brunet, he swallowed another sigh that was threatening to release. What was with the sighing? A human side effect? Or was it just the product of a great shag? Maybe it was the memory of the hungry look Xander's eyes earlier that night?

When was the last time someone had looked at him that way and cuddled afterwards? When was the last time he was held so tightly while he slept?

With all these sappy thoughts, it had to be a human side effect. Stupid living, breathing body was making him act pathetic.

The body beneath him shifted slightly and Spike shuffled closer. The arm that was resting on his shoulder gave a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement. Encouraged by the tenderness, Spike sprinkled kisses on the motionless bare chest. Xander squirmed as the kisses traced over a few ticklish spots.

Brown eyes flew open, Xander fully awake, "Anya?" The name was spoken as a confused question.

Spike stopped moving, smile entirely disappearing from his face. He swallowed hard to push down the lump that had taken root in his throat. He was saved from having to form a sentence by a voice across the room.

"Xander." A chill seemed to fill the room as the sound reached the bed.

Before Spike could even turn to face the uninvited guest, previously tender hands shoved him to the other side of the bed. Xander scrambled to pull a sheet over them both while keeping an arms-length distance from Spike.

Spike never took his eyes off the man who he'd let fuck him into oblivion. The predator that had deliciously attacked him was nowhere to be found, a fumbling fool had managed to take his place. And by the look on the brunet's face, this fool was praying for Spike to be anywhere but in his bed.

One look at that face and deep down something broke. Maybe it was that stupid thing that had made him sigh, but no matter, it was gone. And Spike joined the prayer in wanting Xander to be alone in bed. Without a glance at Anya, or a word to either demon he walked out. He headed straight to the bathroom, put on his clothes, not really caring about the state they were in, and left the apartment.

++++++

A feeling of relief rushed through Xander as he heard his apartment door shut. He risked a look at Anya and regretted it immediately. Her face was a confused mixture of betrayal, anger and hurt. He wasn't sure if she was about to cry, scream at him or try to rip his head off with her bare hands.

She did none of the above. Standing quietly, she did not meet his eyes. "Xander, get dressed. I will see you in the living room." Her voice dripped with ice. Not waiting for an answer, she left the room and shut the door behind her.

Xander took his time putting on his boxers, trying to think of anything that would help him avoid what waited in the next room. He looked at the mirror to check his hair and found no reflection. Staring at the reflection of the wall behind him, it occurred to him that it didn't really matter what Anya said or did. He was a vampire. Want -Take, wasn't that the rule of the day? Couldn't he super size all his orders without that slight guilt of clogging his arteries and not fitting into his jeans? No conscience, no consequences? Even to your ex-fiancee who found you in bed with an ex-vampire?

With the simple logic of 'I'm a vampire so nothing you saw really matters', Xander confidently walked into the living room in full game face. Part of him also considered that if the want-take argument didn't work, maybe the fangs would throw her off enough that he could dive for the door.

"Xander!" Anya's voice cracked with emotion. "How could you?" She sniffled and stumbled over to him. Laying her head on the vampire's bare chest, she began to cry.

Xander's dead heart melted, along with his cocky attitude. He switched back to his smooth boyish good looks. One hand began to run through long blonde locks. "Shh, shh", he tried to quiet her sobs. "I'm so sorry, Anya. I never wanted to hurt you. This is all my fault."

Her body went rigid and the crying stopped. She stepped back and looked at him. "Of course it's your fault you big, stupid jerk." She sobbed, slapping his chest. Anya crossed her arms in frustration and moved to the other side of the room.

Xander sat down on the couch in defeat. "Anya, I know. What do you want from me?"

Anya's eyes filled with fury. Storming towards him she began a second attack. "What do I want from you? How dare you ask me that, Xander Harris!" Her tiny hand shook with rage as she pointed her finger at him. "You were supposed to crawl back to me. Beg for forgiveness and make everything better again."

Xander's demon raged against the demand for his submission. It called for him to take the offensive. A loud warning snarl erupted inside of him. He let his fangs drop. Anya's forgiveness became irrelevant. He felt a surge of pleasure as he released the tight control he held over his passions.

Anya took a step back. She stared into golden eyes. Nothing remained of the sexy brown orbs she had fallen in love with. Nothing was left but the deadly eyes of a vampire.

Xander picked up a chair and threw it across the room in frustration. He growled and stalked towards Anya, forgetting about the consequences of the chip. He gripped her shoulders and shook her violently, "I will never beg for your forgiveness."

The petite blonde stared at her attacker, surprised at the threat of violence in his voice. He really was a vampire, it hadn't occurred to her that he was no longer Xander. Now that she was a demon, the chip wouldn't stop Xander if he really wanted to hurt her.

A knock on the door interrupted Anya's escape planning.

"Go away!", "Come in!" Xander and Anya hollered respectively.

"Buffy!" Xander noted in surprise as the slayer entered the room. His hands quickly released Anya.

"Hey Xander! I'm lookin' for Spike." Glancing around the room, she noticed the blonde demon. "Oh, hey Anya. Are you ok?"

Anya moved a safer distance away from her former fiancée. Nervously clearing her throat, she responded "Xander and I were just working things through. Weren't we honey?" Xander eyed her suspiciously but nodded. "You'll let me know when you're ready to 'talk' again, won't you?".

Xander smirked, understanding her 'talk' implied him begging and her listening. "Sure, I'll let you know when I'm ready to 'talk'."

With a confident smile of a woman who'd sneaked out of a complicated situation, Anya disappeared.

"Stupid bitch." Xander lashed out at the spot Anya had been previously. He picked up a second chair and tossed it through the remaining mist. It smashed to pieces against the living room wall.

Buffy frowned as she watched the display. "God, Xander get a grip."

Yellow eyes and ridged forehead turned towards Buffy. The voice on the demon was deep and rough. "Perfect, I'm just itching for a fight. Hey Buff, wanna try on the new Xanman."

"Ya right! I'm not fighting you." Buffy responded. Seeing that he was serious, she tried to reason, "Have you forgotten the chip? You'll end up in a pathetic heap just trying to get near me." Buffy quipped. She actually wasn't sure if the chip would trigger with her. Odds were against it, since it stopped working for Spike - but Xander didn't know that.

The vampire had no interest in being reasoned with. Xander lunged at Buffy. She quickly dodged to the side and rolled to the ground. Xander turned for a second attack. Buffy was too quick and was on him in seconds. With one arm across his chest she pinned him to the wall. Her free hand held a stake to his heart.

"Pretty short fight there Xander. Hope it was as good for you."

Xander struggled in frustration at her iron grip. He lashed out, in the only way he could. "You know why the undead are hot for you Buffy?" Xander took in a deep breath "It's because when you fight you smell like McDonald's apple pie, hot from the deep fryer. All spicy and sweet."

Buffy tightened her grip but didn't flinch

"Think of all those vamps you dust. Every last one of them probably die with a raging hard on and mouth watering for a moist and delicious bite. Bet Angel never told you that."

The stake pressed more urgently at his bare chest. "Shut up Xander. I might not want to kill you, but I'm not afraid to shut you up." Buffy warned.

"Come on Buff, we're old friends. I know you like your dicks cold."

"That's it. I'm tired of this conversion." With a quick punch, Xander's world went black.

+++++

Buffy walked through the streets of Sunnydale, trying to shake off her anger at Xander. What made vampires act like such jerks? She tried not to think of how much his taunting reminder her of Spike.

She needed to figure out what she was going to say to Spike once she found him.

Tara had been very good at redirecting Dawn's suspicions. They had managed to convince her sister that it was natural for a slayer to try to protect someone from becoming a vampire, even if it was protecting him from himself.

"You need to talk to him." Tara had said. "You need to explain to him why he should stay human. It still should be his choice in the end."

"His choice!" Buffy mumbled to herself. How could she leave such a big decision to Spike, a vampire not exactly known for making the smartest decisions for his future?

The girls had told her about spending the day with human Spike. How he was becoming more comfortable with being human. He was easier to be around, less edgy than the vampire that always kept his distance. Maybe if she talked to him now, she'd have better luck than she did on that first night.

She hoped her trump card was still tucked in her sleeve. He loved her. That just doesn't go way.

+++++

Spike walked through the cemetery quickly. Even with his muted human senses, he knew he reeked of the come and butter that dripped between his legs. He might as well have dipped his clothes in fresh blood, for all the attention he was begging for. He was insane to be risking this walk, but he had no place else to go. He needed a shower and clean clothes before he could face anyone. He felt like a whore sneaking home after being tossed out just before dawn.

How could he have let things go that far? The shag wasn't the problem. It was the snuggling and warm feelings and stupid sighs that were the problem here. When did he start caring for Xander Harris? When had he gone so soft that it hurt for Xander to wake up and shove him away?

Buffy hurt him with everything she did and didn't do. But he loved her. He had an excuse. Xander should have been bloody marvelous shag with no 'I'll call ya later'. But those sweet brown eyes messed everything up! He couldn't get that look and those touches out of his head. They just didn't seem to match up with the cruel greeting Spike had received when they woke.

It was Anya. She was what screwed everything up. Of course Harris went a little postal, he wants her back, Spike reasoned to himself. If Buffy professed any feelings for Spike, well Spike as a vampire that is, then he'd take her back. He'd have done the same if it'd been Buffy who'd walked in, Spike tried to convince himself.

Only he wasn't so sure of that. Buffy had changed in his mind over the last few days. Thoughts of her made him a little angry and a little sad, but the need was gone. The empty feeling, like she was everything that was missing in his life, was gone. Disappeared somewhere in her misunderstanding of the man she'd slept with in more ways than either could count.

He figured being human had made him fickle as well as soft. He'd made it to his crypt. A quick wash and some clean clothes and he'd be back trying to set himself right. Everything would make more sense when he was a vampire again. Then he'd have Harris out of his head and hopefully Buffy wouldn't bother to return.

Chapter 9 - Time for a Change

A quick patrol helped to ease Buffy's anger slightly. She entered the Magic Box almost ready to pick up a dreaded book.

She gave Willow a bright smile as she entered. "Any luck with the research crowd?"

Looking into the shop, she spotted Spike in a far corner. He did not look up from his book. His hair was back to the classic slicked-to-the-scalp look. Buffy pouted at the lack of precious curls she'd seen the night before. Only the reading glasses, which sat low on his nose, told her he was not William the Bloody.

"Tara's still with Dawn," Buffy said to Willow. "I'm gonna give them a call. I'm sure we can use some extra hands with research."

Suddenly interested in her presence, Spike slammed his book shut. "No!" Catching Buffy's surprised look, he covered, "Not a great idea for Bit to be around the brick layer. Vampire's too unpredictable."

"That's not a problem." She smiled at Spike's concern for her sister. "Xander will not be joining us this evening. He's a little tied up."

Seeing the confused looks, Buffy elaborated, "I stopped by the apartment earlier. Xander and Anya were having an argument, and when she left he started acting like a total ass."

"An argument?" Spike fished for more details. For the last hour he'd been guessing what Anya and Xander had done after he'd walked out. He had given up on the hope of an argument and determined they were making up. Spike had so far tortured himself by coming up with 47 different positions they could be making up in.

"Pretty nasty one too. ended with Anya flying off in a huff - did you guys know she's a vengeance demon again? Disappearing mid-conversation all the time. Really annoying. Any way, Xander went postal. Brought back memories of hyena-Xander, uck."

"Okay, I'm really not lovin' the new Xander." Willow admitted, as if she'd finally decided. "He can be a real poop-head."

Buffy nodded in agreement, "I can't say I can argue with the poop-head description."

"Come on ladies!" Spike shook his head in disbelief. Spike stood up to join the group at the counter. "The bloke's a vampire. Of course he's different. We- they- have very simple needs: hungry, horny and need to kill something. It's a good day if they can get a three for one."

'Did you hear that?' Spike said to himself, 'I satisfied a basic need, nothing more. Now stop looking into it as if it meant something. I'm in for a good fuck, just like Xander is.' Only next time Spike would make sure to keep his eyes shut, avoiding any look at those magical brown orbs that might melt his heart.

The women looked at him in disgust.

"What? You know I'm right." Spike argued. He managed to avoid revealing that he was actually trying to convince himself as well as them.

"Well, the horny part's right at least." Buffy admitted.

Willow squeaked in surprise. "He didn't try anything on you, did he?" Buffy's embarrassed look brought back all the memories of the slayer's violent encounter with the hyena possessed Xander.

Spike remained silent but furious as he listened to Buffy go through the highlights of her rejection. Was Xander trying to bang everything that moved? Of course he was, he was a vampire. Right. Spike wanted to bury his head in his hands in embarrassment. Was he the only one who was actually desperate enough to spread for him? Looked like it. Bloody Hell!

"So, he's currently tied to his balcony railing." Buffy finished her watered down version of the 'fight', leaving out the 'cold dicks' quote. Both Willow and Spike stood silent, neither wanting to comment on this latest news. "Spike, you'll need to get home before sun up to unchain him. You might want to bring a stake with you. He's not going to be very happy."

+++++

Buffy had called Tara and Dawn to invite them over for vampire-less research. They declined, opting for homework over searching for a spell that neither of them thought existed.

Buffy, Willow and Spike sat together at the research table, flipping page after page. Buffy's glances were becoming more and more frequent, which succeeded in driving Spike batty.

"Is there something you want, Slayer? 'Cause I'm starting to feel like I'm a bug under glass over here." Spike snapped.

Buffy gasped at the shock of being caught. Flustered, she tried to recover, "You've got to be kidding me. Me? Watching you?" Neither Willow or Spike looked convinced so she added a confident "Ha!" at the end.

"Whatever you say." Spike shook his head in disbelief and continued his research. Maybe he could just grab a few books and read at home. Home. Home was a crypt that was cold and damp, with not enough proper lighting to read anything with his faulted human eyes. Then there was Xander's apartment. Cosy enough in itself, but not with Xander tied up and ready for a fight. Actually, that didn't sound too bad. no! He had to stop that. If he kept thinking down that road he would never get any research done. He'd already spent too much of the night day dreaming.

Buffy continued to watch Spike read. She knew that he knew, but that couldn't stop her. He looked like he was arguing with himself, getting all riled up. It was not the best time to talk to him but 'never' seemed the only other opportunity she would get.

"Will, can I talk to Spike alone for a minute?" Buffy whispered, the silence of the room making her voice louder then she had intended.

Willow looked confused. Buffy nodded gently, "It's ok. I just need to talk with him for a few minutes. Can you grab us a coffee or something?"

Willow nodded and walked out the front door without asking for their orders.

The chime sounded as the door shut. Buffy turned to meet a worried looking Spike. Staring into ice blue eyes, the words she had planned in her head ran away and hid.

"What is it, Slayer?" Spike sneered, trying to sound every bit the vampire he wasn't.

"Spike, please. Don't be like that." Buffy spoke softly. "Let's just talk."

"Talk? Now you want to talk." Spike chuckled at the irony. "What happened to 'Please just go away'?"

"William, I."

"Don't you dare William me. I'm Spike. Nothing more than Spike." A flush rose to his cheeks as he spoke. He gritted his teeth in frustration at his inability to hide his emotions. "I may be human, but I'm still Spike - don't you treat me any differently."

"I'm not treating you differently."

"Oh no? What about those puppy dog eyes you've been giving me all night?"

"I just." Buffy sighed. She couldn't find the words to explain herself. "This isn't how I wanted it to go. I just wanted to explain to you - calmly - why you should 'consider' staying human."

Spike stared at her, face flaming with anger. She was doing it again. Hadn't he made it clear?

His voice was clear and cold. "No." Then added, "End of conversation." With more composure then he thought possible, he opened his book and continued reading.

+++++

Xander rattled the railing again, but could not manage to snap the metal. He tried to focus on Anya. He hated that she was so mad at him. It wasn't supposed to go this way at all. He had it all planned out in his head since the morning after the wedding fiasco. He was going to beg, crawl, cry, whimper, sob, rant, rave, woo, and probably beg some more. He had planned to do anything he could to get her to listen.

When he finally got to talk to her, he would say that he still loved her and that he'd made a mistake to rush into a marriage he wasn't ready for. Then he'd ask her to allow him to start everything over again. It would go back to the way it was, before Glory, before the engagement, before the wedding.

That's what he'd planned. But he'd become a vampire somehow, she'd become a vengeance demon again, and he'd slept with Spike. There was no going back from this. And, in truth, he didn't want to anymore. Part of him, the demon part he figured, sent out a rush of adrenaline every time he thought of Spike.

Beautiful pale body leaning against the counter, begging him for more. The vampire growled in frustration that the manacles prevented any adjustment to his tightening pants. He looked at the sky; it was still early evening. Had it only been a few hours ago that they'd been so passionate? Waking to gentle kisses, warm body pressed in close. It had been the best he'd felt since Anya moved out. Were vampires ever supposed to feel that peaceful? He doubted it. The rage inside him seemed to have disappeared, until of course he'd picked up her scent in the room.

All sweet thoughts of Spike had fled and nothing mattered except that Anya had come back. He had panicked when he saw Anya. He was trapped in fear and shame that belonged all to Xander of a few days ago. His demon, unfortunately, had no patience for begging for forgiveness. So there's the rub or rug or whatever that saying was - he should have gone to college just to make sure he got all his quotes right.

+++++

The smell of dark, roasted Java beans floated through the air around Anya. She'd spoken with Halfrek and they had agreed to meet at a posh café. Anya nervously twisted a funky sugar dispenser around in circles while she waited for her companion.

Yellow hateful eyes still haunted her. After leaving the apartment, she transported herself to a remote beach. The cool evening air had helped to ease the heat in her cheeks. The area was nearly deserted after sunset, allowing the sounds of the waves to ring crisply in her ears.

Her Xander was gone. This new Xander would have really hurt her if Buffy hadn't come in. She wanted things to be the way they had been. She wanted her Xander back. The first step was to make him human again. Whatever that might take.

Her thoughts were cut short as a perky brunette took the seat across from her.

Halfrek's smile couldn't have been any wider. "My goodness Anyanka! Running off like that on me. You are an impatient thing, aren't you? You would think after 1100 years you would learn to take things slower."

The blond scowled in response. "I wouldn't have run off if I wasn't so worried about my boyf, ex-boyfriend getting staked."

Halfrek waived her hand as if to dismiss the problem. "Tsk, tsk. More talk of humans. Can we just get past this?"

"Not until you switch Xander back!" Anya said firmly.

Rolling her eyes dramatically, Halfrek responded in a bored tone, "Can't."

"You owe me. Remember Venice? The two tailed Vcnar?" Anya pleaded. "Who was the one that finally told you their mating ritual involved burning off your hair?"

"Ah Jimmy." Halfrek reveled in the memory, "He had the sweetest little mole on his left tentacle. It really was too bad about the hair thing, he was a darling."

The blonde demon threw her hands in the air dramatically. "Halfrek! I'm trying to make a point here!"

"If you bring up my past, you are going to have to expect some reminiscing. What exactly is your point?"

"My point is that we've been friends for a long time." Anya tried to sound persuasive. "Friends help each other."

"Anyanka, this isn't about our friendship at all." The brunette patted Anya's hand gently. "This is about the rules. I simply cannot revoke the wish unless your human desires it."

"Rules! Don't tell me about rules!" Anya reprimanded. Her patience was growing thin. "What about when you decided to go into semi retirement in London, living as a human for five years! Who was the one who found you before D'Hoffryn realized what you were up to? You weren't thinking about the rules then. You're lucky you made it into the 20th century after that stunt."

"I was in a bad time in my life. I needed a little time out." Hallie's voice was choked with emotion. "How could you bring that up?"

"Oh, Halfrek, stop your blubbering." Anya snapped impatiently and shoved a tissue in her companions direction. "I know that you don't actually cry for anything. You are just trying to change the subject."

Suddenly dry-eyed, Halfrek cleared her throat. "Fine. Are we done here yet? I'd really like to get some shopping done today. There is this little shop in Milan that sells the most fabulous shoes."

"So you are not going to help me?"

"Honestly, Anyanka, if there were anything that I could do. Anything. I would, but this cannot be undone." Halfrek said plainly.

With this final denial, Anya's only option was Plan B. She quickly reached up and ripped the other demon's necklace off. Before Halfrek could react, Anya grabbed the sugar dispenser and smashed the charm.

+++++

Across town a man and a vampire fell unconscious.

 

Chapter 10 - Awakenings

Spike felt warm hands sliding across his neck and pressing gently just to the right of his Adam’s apple.

“I can’t get anything.” It was Buffy.

“Is he… dead? The spell, it might have…” Red this time.

“I don’t know what it is, Will. He just passed out right before you came back.” Buffy’s hand pulled away from his neck quickly.

“What is it?” The slayer must have looked freaked. Red sounded panicked.

“There’s no pulse. Plus my Slayer radar is all tingly. He’s a vampire again.”

 

Spike pulled himself the rest of the way from his slumber. His eyes snapped open. Sight clear, hearing crisp and smell… Mmmm… he’d missed that. The ladies smelled a little scared, but mostly just like Buffy and Willow. Wonder if they are worried that I’m not chipped? Better check that soon.

He jumped to his feet, letting his chair crash to the floor behind him. Ah yes. Speed. Strength. Baby, I’m back.

“Hello cuties.” Spike sneered. He shook his platinum head and let his fangs drop. He jumped over the book covered research table and ran out the front door.

He darted through streets and alleyways, leaving behind a trail of smashed windows and overturned mailboxes. Power rushed through his body with every movement. A loud rumble started deep inside of him, aching to be satisfied. He was hungry. He still hadn’t checked the chip yet. He looked around. No stupid Sunnydale residents out tonight – pity really.

He hadn’t planned on spending a lot of time hunting, just to check the chip – so bagged blood it was. He had no blood in his crypt; he’d brought everything over to Harris’s. He could always head back there. Now there was a great plan, he thought to himself, one-stop shopping.

Besides blood, there was something else Spike was in need of. If Xander was human again it wasn’t likely that he’d be as good a shag as the vampire version, but some sacrifices must be made. As a master vampire, he couldn’t have anyone finding out he’d bent over for the dork without getting anything in return. It just wasn’t right.

A few minutes later, Spike found himself on Xander’s doorstep. The door was unlocked. Stupid slayer, never thinks of all the dangerous people - human and not - who don’t need an invite.

Xander was asleep on the cement floor of his balcony. His wrists were locked and the chain was wrapped around the rail. Looked bloody uncomfortable.

Spike stood a moment watching the sleeping human. His soft, dark features looked so peaceful. So different from the harsh, cruel face that had forced him out of bed hours earlier. Annoyance twisted in the vampire’s stomach, fired by his renewed demon temperament. He could teach the boy a thing or two about how to play out a ‘morning after’ scene.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty. Your prince is here.” Spike leaned in close so that his cool breath tickled behind Xander’s ear.

A slow steady heartbeat quickened and Xander’s soft breathing became labored. The vampire began to lick and nibble the inviting neck but the chip hummed in protest. Right then, no rough stuff.

When Xander began to wake, Spike lifted him to his feet.

“Spike?” Xander mumbled incoherently.

“The one and only.”

Xander moved to stretch his sore shoulders, but all he managed was to rattle the chain. He grumbled bitterly, “Buffy send you home to let the dog in? When did my life become so pathetic?”

Spike pressed his body against Xander’s and began to slowly rub himself against the burnet’s tight ass. “It’s been a while now, pet. Somebody hasn’t been paying attention.”

Xander’s body went rigid as he noticed Spike’s rocking. “Uh, Spike? Keys? They are on the coffee table.”

Spike’s responded by nuzzling into Xander’s neck, breathing in his scent.

“Ok, formerly-deadboy. That’s enough, not really in the mood here. Get the keys and untie me.” Xander requested.

Spike chuckled softly and shifted to give Xander a full view of his game face.

Xander stared and blinked in silence. After a moment he’d processed enough to exclaim, “Holy back to being a vampire, Batman!”

Spike snorted in response. “And you, pet, are human. I can hear your heart merrily pumping away – sounds bloody delicious, it does.”

Xander swallowed hard at the hungry look in the vampire’s yellow eyes.

“And you smell… well, you remember, don’t you Harris? I’m sure, if you try real hard you can imagine what you smell like, right now.” Spike gracefully moved to his position covering the brunet’s back. He pushed his groin forward and felt Xander squirm in response. The air filled with the scent of fear and arousal. This boy was ever so much fun.

“Spike,” Xander squeaked and cleared his throat, “Time to untie the human.”

“Don’t think so, pet.” Spike snaked his arm around to Xander’s crotch. “Your mouth might be screaming to stop, but your body…” Spike took another deep breath. “Your body’s just begging me to take you right here. Arms tied, helpless to defend yourself against the Big Bad.”

Spike rubbed his palm over the jean-covered erection. Xander moaned and thrust against the friction. Spike smiled into Xander’s shoulder. “Oh ya, you want to be untied,” Spike taunted.

With his right hand Spike snapped open the button of Xander’s pants and unzipped him. With his left, he did the same to himself – coordination was a beautiful thing. Spike slipped his hands into Xander’s boxers and reached down to cup his balls.

“Ack! Cold hands!” Xander complained, in a slightly more high pitched voice.

“Jealous?” Spike teased as he began to slowly roll the balls expertly between his fingers. He counted on the seductive rhythm to release the boy’s inhibitions about an outdoor-tied-up sexcapade. He was right. Xander thrusted erratically, desperate for friction. “Anxious, are we? Don’t come just yet – actually that might not be a bad idea, save me from having to find some lube.”

“Night stand. Top drawer.” Xander struggled to say.

Spike released Xander and left to find the product. He returned quickly with a small tube in his hands. A brief thought went through his head, of one of the Scoobies walking into the scene: him strutting through the apartment, cock bouncing proudly through his open jeans, lube in hand and Xander with his pants around his ankles, still tied to the balcony. As wonderfully embarrassing as it would have been for Harris, he was thankful to go without the disturbance.

Xander was shivering in the cold night air when he returned.

“Miss being a cold blooded demon yet?” Spike commented.

Before Xander could think of a snappy reply, two slick fingers were pressed against his entrance. All quipping ceased. Spike pushed the fingers in gently, unsure of how much action this pretty ass had seen. They slowly gained acceptance into the tight channel. Spike could feel the muscles around him tighten and loosen with each push.

Xander was soon panting and gasping in front of him. His knuckles where white from the iron grip on the balcony rail.

No sounds from the chip meant no real pain for Xander. Spike pushed in farther. then stopped a moment to let Xander adjust and relax. As soon as the brunet’s breathing calmed slightly, he began to pump in and out, scissoring his fingers occasionally.

“Oh, god. That feels… I never thought it would feel… god yes.” Xander squirmed under the intensity of the penetration. He bent forward slightly to give Spike easier access.

When Xander’s channel was slick and relaxed, Spike lubed his own dick and pressed it against the waiting hole.

“Ready?” Spike said huskily, regretting the cliché but needing to ask. Xander trembled in fear? Anticipation? Spike was no telepath but he had a vivid imagination: “that big cock of yours couldn’t possibly fit into my tight hole” Xander’s voice seemed to say – “you bet the down-payment on your wedding that it will” Spike’s brain responded to the unspoken fear.

“Don’t worry, pet. I’ll take it slow. Done this a million times. You’re in for a really good ride,” Spike comforted, needing to move on from the foreplay to the main event.

Receiving a nod, Spike pushed forward. And then he was inside. There was a gasp from Xander, but no sound of pain. Reassured, , Spike buried himself deeper in that tight ass until he felt Xander’s ass against his pelvis. The men clung to each other intimately, panting for breath.

“So hot. So bloody hot.” Spike groaned.

“Hmpth,” Xander responded intelligently.

Spike slowly slid out and thrust in again, finding a nice pace. Rising to the balls of his feet, he angled himself properly inside the larger man. He began to rock, grazing Xander’s prostate with each stroke.

Spike heard a loud “Aghhh” with each hit. He smirked to himself and started pumping harder. He wanted Xander to remember the feeling of Spike’s cock inside of him every time he closed his eyes.

One hand held Xander’s hip and the other reached around to pump the human’s aching cock. Spike’s tight pulling and pumping was too much for Xander. He let out a strangled cry. “Spike…”

Come splattered over the vampire’s hands onto Xander’s jeans which sat in a pile at his feet. Spike continued to pump his hips as his hands gently milked the remaining orgasm from his partner.

Spike felt his balls tighten and raise. He released Xander’s member and gripped both hips for support. A few more frantic strokes sent him over the edge. He emptied himself deep inside Xander, clutching the man’s hips tightly. He’ll have bruises in the morning, Spike thought idly. He rested his head on the broad back in front of him, catching his breath as the last of his orgasm was released. He closed his eyes and let the warmth and comfort of the intimate embrace rush over him.

Too quickly, he pulled out. His pants were raised and zipped by shaking hands. He did the same for Xander, carefully tucking him in – fragile humans. As soon as both were clothed again, Spike gave Xander a slap on the ass, “Sweet arse you got there, Harris. Have to remember that next time I’ve got an itch.”

He lit a cigarette and left the balcony. Xander’s stunned silence ended as he heard Spike emptying the fridge of blood bags.

“Hey! Demon breath, the keys! I’m still locked up here.” The hurt and shame in his voice were only partially hidden.

Spike chuckled “Scoobies’ll likely be around in a bit.” Grabbing the blood bags, he left. He knew the slamming of the door would ring nicely through the empty apartment.

Now that’s a proper post-fuck chat, he smiled to himself.

+++++

Spike woke with a gasp. He took a deep breath and looked around the room. Cold, damp, dark – his crypt. He lifted himself up on his elbows. God his hard-on was killing him. Great dream, too bad that’s not how it went.

He’d woken to Buffy and Willow standing over him but that is where the reality deviated from his fantasy. He woke in full game face. He was thrilled, Buffy was disappointed and Willow was immediately worried about Xander. Spike had offered to go free the boy, but Xander should be with friends at a time like this, or so he was told. It was probably going to be a hard transition back to the living.

So, instead of going to Xander’s, Spike had headed to his crypt and went about dealing with life changing events as he always did. He’d quickly emptied every bottle he could find until he’d finally passed out.

With a groan, Spike lay back down. Crossing his hands behind his head - a position that could only be comfortable to a circulation free vampire - he closed his eyes and hoped to spend the rest of the night in a dreamless sleep.

 

+++++

Buffy and Willow found Xander sleeping in his boxers, exactly where Buffy had left him.

“You stripped him and tied him outside like an animal?” Willow accused, demanding an explanation for the pathetic sight.

“Will,” Buffy responded calmly, “Don’t get all ‘Save the Whales’ on me. That’s what he was wearing when I got here. I wasn’t going to put pants on him after knocking him out. And secondly, when I left him he was an animal, a monster, a very annoying monster. Remember? Poop-head?”

Willow smiled sheepishly. “I know. It’s just that he looks so cold and naked and tied up. I just wasn’t expecting him to look so…”

“Blue?” Buffy suggested, while she unlocked the restraint.

“Pathetic.” Willow corrected.

The two carried the slowly waking and slightly shivering Xander inside.

“Cold.” Xander mumbled.

“Yes, but you actually have vital signs so let’s call it a successful night.” Buffy teased as she wrapped a blanket around him.

“You’ll feel better in a few minutes.” Buffy reassured him.

Willow was still looking at him and frowning. “Can we get you anything?” Her eyes lit up at a thought. “How about a cup of world famous Rosenberg extra-chocolatey hot cocoa?”

Xander smiled at Willow’s sweet expression. “Sure Will, that’d be great.”

Jumping off the couch in excitement, Willow rushed into the kitchen to make what used to be Xander’s favorite drink, before the Starbucks came to town – Damn double-chocolate mocha lattes!

“What happened?” Xander asked nervously. Everything was slowly coming back to him and he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get away with the ‘don’t remember anything while possessed by the hyena’ trick.

The slayer shrugged. “Don’t know yet. One minute we were doing research and the next Spike did a face plant and came up fangy. That’s when we rushed over here before you caught pneumonia.”

“So, Spike’s a vampire again?”

“Like he never left. He’s probably in his crypt, getting drunk and planning our deaths as we speak.” Buffy leaned towards him to fix his blanket.

She smelt like Buffy. Not like a slayer, a warrior or a meal. But like Buffy’s shampoo, soap and hairspray. He took a deep breath. The entire apartment hardly had any smell at all, except for a trace of popcorn. Popcorn!

Xander leaped off the couch and darted to the kitchen.

Willow was idly picking up the popcorn off the floor and placing it into the butter bowl. The butter that he’d used to – yikes! He grabbed the bowl out of Willow’s hands. “Hey, Will. That’s ok. This place is a mess, I’ll clean it up tomorrow.” He said nervously.

Quickly picking up the rest of the popcorn, he set the bowl down on the counter in front of the microwave. With a gasp, he picked the bowl back up again. A streak of white flaky – stuff – ran across the counter top. A quick glance below the counter revealed the cupboard doors were in no better shape. Xander dropped the bowl into the sink, afraid to look any further.

“What happened in here? Looks like you had a party… or maybe a fight?” Willow questioned as she picked up a towel off the floor.

“What?” Xander yelped, needing to be anywhere but here, answering any other question than that. Any minute now he was sure she’d say ‘hey what’s that stuff on the cupboard?’ or ‘mind if I eat the rest of this popcorn?’ And that was his life – a series of jokes that made people cringe.

His only hope was a quick lie that would get both girls out of his apartment so he could take a shower and scrub some of the embarrassment off. “You know what? I’m whipped – body altering experience and everything.” He rested his hand against the sink for support. “Can I get a rain cheque on the cocoa? I think I’d like to head to bed before the sun comes up.”

Willow eyed him carefully. He did look tired and morphing into an entirely different physiology would likely take a lot out of someone. “All right,” adding a pout for good measure, “But you call me as soon as you want to cash in on the offer.”

Willow ‘helped’ Xander back to the living room. With a quick hug to both girls and promises to call the next morning, he was finally alone with his thoughts. Why again did he want to be alone with his thoughts? Seemed like a good idea at the time, but now with actual thoughts in his head he was ready to call them back.

Thoughts. Thoughts of how he’d made a total fool of himself in front of everyone. The awful way he’d treated Dawn. Would she ever forgive him? Could he get arrested for that? Did Buffy know? Probably not, since he was still alive. But Buffy had her own reasons to kick his ass, didn’t she? Hopefully they could call it even, after she’d tied him outside in his undies.

Anya, now that was a whole other can of re-fried beans. He’d think about how bad he felt about her tomorrow. Right now he still wanted that shower and hopefully some sleep.

As he stepped into the bathroom, he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. A few faint red marks still remained from last night’s Catholic water torture. He’d been tortured, had his first gay experience, was threatened by Anya, threatened Anya, got beat up by Buffy, and turned from vampire to human all in the same day. He was definitely going to call in sick for work tomorrow – foreman’s schedule be damned.

++++

Xander felt his muscles relax under the gentle pressure from the hot water. ‘Shower, good’ his tired brain told the rest of his body. He grabbed the soap from the dish and began to lather his body. ‘Soap, nice’ was the thought of the moment. It felt wonderful to finally get the sticky butter and dried up come off. Butter and come? Eww!

All mundane thoughts of ‘clean, hot, shower, water, soap’ being ‘good, better, nice’ fled from his head. His eyes flew open with the vivid imagery of exactly why he needed this shower. He’d had his first gay encounter. Wait a minute! First? Implying something to follow? No, he was not gay. He was a very normal healthy male that had been temporarily dead and really horny for about 48 hours. As soon as his heart started beating the gayness would have left as well. Phew! Glad that’s straightened out, he thought. Nothing but a bit of experimentation under his belt.

He’d gone back to two-word, non-sentences when a new thought hit him: Was Spike gay then? Xander luckily had the excuse of being a soulless evil vampire at the time of the ‘incident’. Spike was human – sexy, hot human… stop that! Spike was human and therefore he was gay, or was it bi-sexual? Or was he a heterosexual vampire and a gay human? Or did being around for hundred year mean that you can’t get pigeon-holed like the rest of us?

This was no good. All the tension was coming back! The gentle pressure of the hot water and the thoughts of the ‘incident’ where having a naughty effect on Xander. He looked down to find his soapy hand spending way too long trying to get the butter off. Ack… stop that, he scolded himself again. There will be no hard-ons for men ever again! Experiment over.

Turning the water to cold, he quickly finished the rest of his shower. Within minutes he was dried off and in bed, praying for a dreamless sleep.

+++++

Spike woke to a loud knock on his door. His head pounded as he lifted himself off his make-shift bed. Fortunately, he was saved from making the walk all the way to the door. The knocker let herself in.

“Buffy.” Spike commented as she walked in and handed him his duster.

“Ta, luv”, Spike nodded in thanks. She responded back with a sad smile.

Spike motioned for her to take a seat on the couch. Without a word, he put on a shirt and joined her.

After a moment of silence, Buffy began to speak “I’ve been rehearsing this for the past two hours, so just let me get it out ok?”

The bleach blond head nodded for her to continue.

“I’m not sorry that I wanted you to stay human. It’s my calling to try to stop people from turning into vampires. I can’t ignore that. Spike, no matter what has happened between us and no matter how much you’ve changed – it doesn’t change that you are a vampire. My destiny is to kill you, not to …”

“Slayer, it’s alright. I ‘get’ it.” Spike tried to save her from saying the words. He had listened to her familiar speech for the first time without the clouding of emotions and realized how much them being together would never be.

“Spike please don’t interrupt. I need to get this out.” Buffy requested nervously. She seemed to be having a harder time getting this out than he was listening to it. Likely because she still thought he was in love with her.

“I said it was alright, Buffy. I meant it.” Spike reassured her. “The night you … the night we faced Glory. I got all pocket book romance saying ‘I know you’ll never love me’. Remember that? Well I said it then, hoping it wasn’t true.”

Spike stood and began to pace, all the pieces of the puzzle seemed to fall into place. “Now I finally ‘get’ it. Vampire – Slayer, it’ll never work. We aren’t the great ‘romantic’ tragedy that was Buffy and Angel. You and me – fate just doesn’t have it in the cards for us.”

Buffy stared at the vampire walking back and forth in front of her, not knowing if he was talking to her or to himself.

“I love being a vampire, you love being tight-assed, all-righteous slayer. Neither of us want to change to fit in each others world.” Spike let out a chuckle. “We were doomed before any bloody singing demon made us kiss.”

Spike finally stopped talking and turned to Buffy. Buffy looked back at him stunned. “Yeah – what you said. I’m so glad I prepared that speech…” Buffy stood as if to leave, but looked a little lost.

Spike gave her a lopsided smirk and walked over. Taking her hand in his, he smiled sweetly. “You know, I still love you. I haven’t talked myself out of that. So I’ve always got your back, Slayer. I’m just not trying to get you on it anymore.” Buffy let out a giggle, thankful that the tension was broken.

Spike kissed her gently on the forehead for the last time. “And I’ll be there for the lil’ Bit too.”

Buffy took a step towards the door, “I’ve got to get back before Dawn wakes up for school”

Spike simply nodded and watched her walk out the door.

On either side of the door, both let out a sigh of relief. With the pressure of the relationship gone, they felt happier then they had in months.

+++++

Xander’s alarm went off at 6:00am. Time to call in sick.

Well that went well, he thought as he hung up. He’d always wanted to bequeath his first born child to a middle-aged over-weight construction worker just to keep a lousy job.

“Could my life get any worse?” He called out to the empty room.

“Xander? Can we talk now?”

“Anya?” Oh, God! Anya was here. In my bedroom and she wanted to talk! I’m so not ready for this. Can you come back when hell freezes over? “Talk? Now? Sure?” Good, that sounded less scared to death than I feel.

He felt Anya sit down on the bed beside him. The room was light enough to just make out her silhouette. She was beautiful.

“Xander, you can beg me to come back now, so that we can proceed with the making up part - including a quick trip to Las Vegas. We can surprise your friends and prove to everyone that you were temporarily insane.” Anya smiled at him in anticipation.

“Ahn, wow, lots to process there on two hours of sleep.” Xander sat up in bed and took Anya’s hand. “I am sorry that I left you at the altar.” He said sincerely.

“Good.” Anya confirmed that his speech started appropriately.

“I wasn’t ready then. I should never have asked you to marry me, as long as I wasn’t ready. .”

Anya frowned. That wasn’t what was supposed to come next. Maybe she should have written this down for him.

Xander gathered up the courage to lean forward and kiss her, hoping to say everything that his words could not. Their lips met but something was missing. He added more pressure to the kiss and slipped his tongue into her eager mouth. One hand intertwined itself with her hair and held her close.

Anya let herself fall into the kiss. It had been too long since he’d touched her. Everything was going to be alright. By the end of the month they would be married… maybe by the end of the week at this rate.

The more energy Xander put behind the kiss, the more it seemed forced. Maybe he was nervous. He just needed to relax. He let his eyes fall shut. In his mind, long golden hair changed into short, white blond curls. Soft, delicate features sharpened, transforming into a harsh, dangerous look.

Xander quickly pulled away with start. “Ahn, I’m sorry. I can’t” He stuttered and pushed past her and rushed to the bathroom.

Through the bathroom door, he heard her scream “That’s the last time you’ll run away from me, Xander Harris.” Then he heard the front door to his apartment slam shut.

 

Chapter 11 – Where do we go from here

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take the big axe.” Xander argued. Willow was just not being reasonable.

“Xander!” Willow’s voice was turning into a frustrated whine. She’d crack soon. “Buffy is teetering on the fine line of sanity. Why are you making this a big deal?”

“You’re the one who is making this a big deal. I’m offering to save time and go get the waxy-pokey demon myself. No need to call in Captain Peroxide to save the day.” Xander searched through the weapons chest for the biggest sharp thing.

“It’s been two weeks.” Willow reminded her best friend. “You’ve faced everyone else; why is Spike so different?”

Xander tried not to look guilty, “It just ‘is’, ok? He hasn’t been around; I haven’t gone a lookin’. Things have worked out fine.” It all made sense to him. One big glass of avoidance, add a dash of denial and serve over a few cold showers – the HomophobicHarris-tini. Mmm… makes everything all better.

“What?” Xander asked nervously. Willow was looking at him funny. Maybe the goofy smile made her suspicious. Seriously at risk of direct confrontation here! Pick a pointy stick and high tail outta Dodge.

Damn! Too slow. Willow was blocking his way, armed with resolve face.

“Alexander Lavelle Harris, you will not risk your life or Buffy’s over issues with Spike. Go over there right now and ask him to help you find the giant wax monster.” Arms crossed, eyes squinty - Willow looked serious.

Damn, she’s good.

+++++

Bang, bang, bang on the door, baby. Knock a lil’ louder, sugar.

 

God. Xander just realized he was knocking to the beat of ‘Love Shack’. No good could come of this. Why was he knocking anyway? He should just burst in like always …and risk walking in on shirtless Spike? Not a chance in hell.

Luckily, Xander was saved from any incriminating thoughts down that path by the door opening.

“Harris.” Oh. Sexy accent. Xander felt a surge of heat in his pants. Ack! It had been too long, he was no longer de-sensitized. Xander didn’t dare move a muscle. He just stood and stared. Spike did not look surprised in the least. How could he look so cool? I feel like I just walked into my ninth grade class in my boxers, Xander thought to himself.

Spike smirked at the nervous look on the brunet and extended his arm to invite the human into his crypt. Xander looked ready to bolt, but walked in anyway. This should be fun. Spike had run this scene in his head a few times. After all, the last time he’d looked into those brown eyes, he was getting kicked out of a warm bed. Bitterness grows nice and healthy in a dark lonely crypt.

“If I’d have known you were comin’, love, I’d have popped some corn.”

Priceless. That’s the look Spike wanted. Xander had to be blushing from floppy hairdo, to dirty sneakers. Served him right for waiting so long to stop by. Too busy with his little demon bitch, no doubt.

 

Xander backed up and caught the back of his knees on a chair.

Spike chuckled, “Have a seat before you fall down, bricklayer.” Xander sat. Spike pulled out a cigarette and lit it as dramatically as only he could. He slowly exhaled a cloud of smoke in the human’s general direction. With a nod to the axe that Xander had dropped, he asked, “Since you knocked, I assume you didn’t come here to use that on me.”

The sight of the fallen weapon reminded Xander of the purpose of the visit. “It’s Buffy,” he began. “Demon, big, pokey and of the candle family. It mistook her for a pin-cushion and now she’s ‘Girl Interrupted’.”

“And?” Spike forced himself to keep his emotions in his back pocket.

“And I need to find this thing so Willow can make some type of antidote.” Xander explained, mumbling in addition “and I thought you could help.” That wasn’t so hard was it?

Spike let out a choked laugh of someone who didn’t find the situation the least bit funny. So Xander wants some help, some muscle. That’s what finally brought him here. He wanted to tell Harris what he should do with that axe, but this was Buffy.

He was honest when he told the slayer that he did love her. He’d protect her, even if it meant having to try to ignore Xander’s ‘come fuck my’ scent for a few hours.

“Alright. Let’s go.” Spike walked towards the door.

“What?” Xander stood in surprise. “That’s it? Just ‘let’s go’”

Spike walked over to Xander. Why the hell was Harris acting so weird? It’s not like he’d done all the blackmailing, stalking or harassing that he’d considered doing over the last 14 days. You’d think there would be some level of trust and respect for not even trying to mess things up between him and Anya. He bloody well could have been a right pain in the ass. Instead, he was being reasonable, honourable and downright nice about this whole situation.

“Well, I guess we could always shag first but I was under the impression that Buffy might be wanting to get fixed sometime soon.” Spike spat out bitterly, face to face with Xander.

Xander broke eye contact first. Why was Spike standing so close? Why was he mad and breathing all over him? Why did he keep bringing up sex? Didn’t he know that he’d been trying to think of anything but sex with Spike since the night Xander became human again? And why was his cock hard? Stupid vampire.

“Let’s go.” Xander backed away nervously. He picked up the axe and walked out the door.

Spike smiled after him, mumbling, “boy smells like mulled wine when he’s hard.”

++++

“What do you mean ‘You’re fired’? I can’t be fired!” Anya pleaded. This was so unfair.

“You destroyed the power center of a co-worker, Anyanka. VDCC item 6, section 24 states that ‘in-fighting’ amongst vengeance demons is punishable by death.” D’Hoffryn explained. “The council has met and agreed with my decision to simply revoke your powers and return you to the humanity that you obviously enjoy. We have concluded that your sabbatical in the human world has tainted your professionalism.”

“But,” Anya pouted. Her eyes were filled and ready to spill.

D’Hoffryn moved over towards her and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “Be grateful for you sentence. The Bolarts wanted your scalp as a centerpiece, which I think is a little passé, but you know them.”

Anya self-consciously reached up to pat her hair line. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Her former boss smiled down at her. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

+++++

“So, she’s having the wiggins, is she? Thinks none of us are real. Bloody self-centered, if you ask me.”

“Spike, we need muscle, not colour commentary.”

“On the other hand, it might explain why strangest things seems to happen to everyone around her. Turn me into a soddin’ human. Fall out of love with her and into love…”

“What?”

“Nothing. Alternate realities. Where we’re all little figments of Buffy’s delusion. You know, in a different reality, you might not have been caught in bed with me by your girlfriend.”

Before Xander could spit out a quip, the demon leaped out from the trees, growling.

“Oh, balls. You didn't say he was a glark gal kashnak.”

”'Cause I can't say glar-“ Xander’s argument was cut off by the sound of the demon lunging at them.

Xander dove to the ground, out of danger. Spike ducked and rolled into a fighting stance. As the demon turned for another attack, Spike swung the axe. Anticipating the movement, the demon shifted quickly to the side. Spike moved to intercept the dodge. The two collided and went tumbling backwards.

The vampire reached out for his weapon but the axe was thrown from his hands by the force of the tackle. “Hey Harris! A little help here? This isn’t a spectator sport.”

Xander frantically crawled through the underbrush searching for the weapon. “I can’t find the axe. Why the hell did we only bring one weapon!”

Waxy hands clasped the vampire’s neck and began to squeeze. “I don’t know, you stupid git.” Spike gasped. “We’ll plan better next time, just get this thing off me.”

“Found it!” Xander cried out in self-congratulations. He ran up and smashed the demon over the head with the blunt side of the axe.

They stood looking at the unconscious demon. Xander smiled proudly, “I altered his reality.” He glanced over to Spike. “Get it, I... “ Spike scowled. “Never mind.”

+++++

“I need it’s arm”, Willow explained, as the vampire and ex-vampire tried to chain the demon in the Summer’s basement.

Spike managed to pin the demon to a pillar.

Xander fell to the ground, having been knocked by a flailing arm. “Thanks Spike, I’ll help when the blistering pain subsides.”

Noticing the demon slowed its struggling, Willow put on thick yellow rubber gloves and walked over. With a metal instrument, she clamped onto the demons arm, forcing its spine to release. She snapped the poison spine off and placed it in a jar.

“I’m headed over to campus to create the antidote – in some very non-magicy way.” Willow glanced back at the two trying to lock the chains without letting go of the demon. “Can you two stick around here and watch that thing? Don’t really want it loose in the house.”

+++++

“A shoe store?” Halfrek questioned nervously. Anya being fired helped the forgiveness process considerably. Anya was also helping her cope with mortality - the least she could do really - but going into business with her was a scary prospect even for an ex-vengeance demon.

“Not just any shoe store, a seemingly discount but slightly pricey big name knock-off shoe store,” Anya explained, her voice squeaking with excitement. “We’ll get all the best names, newest fashions, sell them at just below the big department store prices, but expensive enough for us to appear to be better quality than the discount stores. It’s a sure thing.”

“Can we do it in Milan?”

“Do you know Italian?”

“Well, no.”

“Then probably not.”

“I love Italian shoes.”

“We can sell Italian shoes in the U.S. and just charge more for them. Besides, this way people will actually pay the ticket price. Italians try to haggle. It makes it hard to predict your profit margin.”

“And we’ll actually make money?”

Anya’s smile widened. “You know Hallie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

+++++

“I don’t know how you can do it.” Spike broke the silence. The men where sitting on top of a freezer, kicking their heels in boredom.

“Huh?” The brunet looked over at his companion. The blue eyes staring at him were unusually soft and reflective. Xander squirmed under the intense gaze.

“Being human. The whole gambit: breathing, sneezing, pissing. Just being so damn vulnerable.” Spike reached up and ran a finger over a large bruise forming on Xander’s cheek. “You’re a bloody mess, black and blue from 10 minutes of fighting.”

Xander’s heat rose from the casual touch. He smiled the ‘self-depreciating’ Xander smile. “What can I say, I’m cannon fodder for Buffy’s imaginary world.”

Spike chuckled, “So what does that make me then? Her dildo?”

One look at Xander and he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“What?” Xander asked as calmly as he could. No need to over-react. Spike’s just being Spike and yanking my chain.

Spike laughed nervously, “In ‘my’ dreams of course. Not hers. Obviously not hers. Right then, think I’ll go check these chains.” Spike hopped off the freezer and walked over to the pillar.

The brunet clenched his fist in frustration. Spike was lying to him. He was hiding something about Buffy. What was so important that Spike would lie to him? Before he knew what was happening, he was across the room, Spike lifted in the air by the collar.

“What did you mean exactly by ‘her dildo’.” Xander’s eyes were glazed over in rage.

Spike gasped for unneeded breath. He’d never seen those brown eyes look that way: Hurt? Angry? Betrayedl?

Spike struggled and Xander let him drop. Still laying on the ground and looking up at Xander, he explained, “It was just a stupid comment, from a stupid vampire. When did you start caring what came out of my mouth anyway.”

Xander stared down at the vampire beneath him, “I can tell you’re lying. You’re scared. I see it on your face. You’ve got something to hide.”

Spike scrabbled to his feet. “Hey! I’m not scared. Not of you, at least. Just don’t want you making a deal out of piss all.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what the ‘piss all’ is?”

“Look Harris, it’s not my place.”

Xander looked at him in a moment of clarity. “You had sex with Buffy.” The shocked look on Spike’s face was confirmation enough. “Oh, God. I’m right aren’t I?”

Spike looked at the crushed man in front of him and realized that not only was Anya ahead of him in line, but so was Buffy. Xander looked devastated.

Xander let out a frustrated cry. “Invisi-Buffy! That day, in your crypt. You were having sex with Buffy – in front of me!” Xander clasped his hand over his mouth.

“You gonna spew?” Was all Spike’s confused mind could think to say, which actually seemed better then the other option of ‘well duh’.

“I can’t believe this.” Xander started to pace.

“It’s over, alright? Never meant to be, cue the sad music and close the curtains.” Christ, why was he getting into this with Xander? It’s one thing to rub it in the boy’s face while it’s happening, but now that it’s over and his feelings have changed… it’s just taking everything in the wrong direction.

“Ya, until she’s desperate again. Then it’s all, ‘let me comfort you with my tight, muscular body and sexy accent’.” Er, sounded a little to gay there, didn’t I? Well I’m mad and not thinking straight – ha! Straight. Focus Xander.

Spike raised an eyebrow but let the over-description pass. “It’s not like that…”

“Maybe I don’t believe you.” Xander replied bitterly and moved to walk up the stairs.

“Where do you think you are going?”

“To talk to Buffy.” Pushing Spike out of the way, he ran up the stairs.

“Harris! Xander! For shit’s sakes, you moron, don’t go up there.” Spike caught up to him in the front hallway. He seized a broad shoulder, forcing the other man to turn around.

“Why not? Eh, Spike? Afraid what I might find out about your tawdry affair?” Xander spat out bitterly.

“Calm down for a minute and talk to me.” Lessening his hold, Spike tried to use a soothing tone. “Xan, I’m not trying to hide anything. What happened between Buffy and me, it just doesn’t seem important right now, all thing considered.”

“All things considered? Meaning what exactly?”

“Considering Buffy’s not right in the head. Considering it’s over. Good enough reasons?”

“Over? Right.”

“Over. As in ‘mutual’. Neither of us have any interest in going there again.”

“So you just suddenly stopped wanting to get in her pants.” Xander snapped his fingers for emphasis.

“Something like that.” This was getting ridiculous. How could he have this conversation without giving away whose pants he does want to get into? Time to try a different approach - offensive. “Maybe you should spend more time acting like a real man to your girlfriend and less worrying about who Buffy’s shagging.”

“My girlfriend?”

“The demon bitch.”

“Anya?”

“You shaggin’ another demon bitch?”

“Anya and I aren’t … together.”

“She leave you then?”

“Something like that.” Xander said, mirroring Spike’s earlier evasive remarks.

“Hope it had nothing to do with me - us - you know, in bed and such” Spike mutter, suddenly much less angry.

“Not so much.”

“Good then.” Spike realized he still had his hand on Xander’s shoulder and had begun to massage the tense muscle beneath his thumb. “So you really aren’t with Anya?”

Xander melted into the pressure that Spike’s thumb was applying directly under his collarbone. It felt fantastic. Spike’s look was also gaining intensity while his hands worked their magic. He was not really playing fair. Realizing that there was an unanswered question pending, Xander shook his head, “Um… what?”

“You. Anya. Shagging?” Spike tried not to smirk at the confused look on Xander’s face. He was impressed at the effect he was having. Spike might not be the only one whose last few nights comprised of his right hand, a bottle of lotion and memories of a kitchen counter.

Xander could feel himself start to blush at the sound of the thick English accent saying shagging. It was like hearing a southern person saying Nekkid. Made him feel dirty – in the good way. Had Spike asked him another question? He buried the immediately response of ‘Yes please.’

Clearing his thoughts for a moment, Xander managed a reasonably detailed reply. “Anya? We broke up. I mean we never got back together, after, well you know.”

Spike absorbed the information and continued to appraise the man in front of him. Xander was free of attachments and clearly responding to the attention he was receiving. He was blushing and his temperature was rising under the vampire’s cool hand. Xander had also clearly lost interest in barging in on Buffy. It was time to take a few risks, just to see how far this could go. Spike placed his free hand on Xander other shoulder. The second hand kept pace with the first, moving in slow sensual circles, manipulating the muscles of Xander’s shoulders.

Spike heard a quiet moan of appreciation.

Xander hoped that Spike didn’t just hear that moan. How could it be that the most gentle touch he’d ever received could come from a vampire, a male vampire. It just didn’t seem right. But it felt right. Xander was quickly turning to goo. He let out a second moan, louder this time. Spike watched Xander slowly close his eyes and give himself over to the seduction. There was no way he could be misreading this, Xander was practically begging for it. Spike leaned in a kissed him.

Xander didn’t open his eyes when he felt soft lips tenderly brush his own. It should have felt weird, his first gay kiss (sex-capades as a vampire didn’t count he had decided). He had expected hard and demanding, maybe even mocking, not this warm, gentle contact that Spike was giving him now. He actively joined in, opening his mouth slightly. Xander quivered as the tips of their tongues grazed each other tentatively.

It was Xander who increased the intensity. He rocked his erection against Spikes hip, begging to be kissed harder.

Still standing at the base of the stairs in the front hallway, Xander began to gasp for air between kisses. Spike reached under Xander’s shirt, needing skin on skin contact. Xander let out a heavy groan as Spike accidentally grazed the tip of his cock that was poking out of his pants. Xander began to kiss Spike frantically, desperate for more contact.

“It took me three tries but I finally got the antidote… Holy crap.” Willow screeched as the two tangled bodies in the hallway came into view.

Spike and Xander exchanged looks, where was an apocalypse when you needed one.

“Hi guys! What’s going on?” Dawn smiled sweetly as she walked in from the kitchen. Willow, who was standing at the front door, looked like she was about to drop the jar of dark liquid that was in her hands. Spike and Xander looked like they had just been trying to kill each other.

”Dawn!” Spike shouted and jumped back from Xander.

Dawn eyed the pair suspiciously. Xander adjusted his shirt to cover the front of his pants. Spike ran his hands through his hair nervously. On second thought, they weren’t trying to kill each other. She’d definitely interrupted something. She crossed her arms and looked at them disapprovingly. “What’s going on?”

Willow found her voice as well. “My thoughts exactly.”

“Nothing.”

Xander looked at Spike in surprise. That was his response? Very creative.

“I gotta go. Xander? Don’t we have to go?” Spike nodded desperately to Xander. “Red’s here, with the antidote. We can leave now and do that thing that we have to do…”

Denial? He could handle denial. “Yeah, that thing. Gotta go.” Xander followed Spike out the door.

“That was pathetic.” Xander criticized as he jogged to catch up with the vampire who was already halfway down the drive.

“What would you have preferred?” Spike shouted back sarcastically, “Have a pow-wow with the Scoobies about Red and Bit catching us snogging? Have to explain to everyone that you’ve got a boner for another bloke? And how that sharp tongue you’ve got for vampires - chipped or souled - suddenly wants to be wrapped around my pecker.”

“Hey! Hold on there, potty mouth! I never said I wanted to ‘do’ anything with you.”

Spike spun around in frustration, nearly running into Xander who had finally caught up with him. “All the more reason to not have this conversation in front of the ladies! Let’s just get to your place so we can ‘talk’.” Talk, right.

“Talk?” Spike wants to ‘talk’ about this? Why don’t I believe him.

“Sure, why not.” After I get rid of this aching hard-on, Spike added silently.

They continued the journey in silence, walking at a very fast pace.

+++++

Dawn and Willow stared at the front door long after it had been slammed shut by a couple of flustered guys.

“Were they just…, did I interrupt?” Dawn tried to ask without having to say the words. It would be totally embarrassing to be wrong about this.

Willow looked back at the spot in the hall where a blond vampire and her best friend were making with the naughty touching.

“They weren’t fighting, were they? I don’t think they were fighting. Is Xander a vampire again?” Dawn questioned, annoyed at being the last to know everything. “When he took me on that ‘forgive me’ shopping-spree, he promised there would be no more bone-jumping of Scoobies.”

Willow seemed to notice Dawn for the first time. “Xander’s not a vampire.” Still staring into the empty hallway, memories of tongues and hands and rocking hips - Willow shook her head in confusion, “I’m not sure what we walked in on.” But, she gave the teenager a coy smile.

Dawn rolled her eyes, “I can’t believe it. Spike and Xander. I had crushes on both of them – I might need counseling for this.”

Willow’s eyes fell to the jar in her hand. “Buffy’s antidote! I’d nearly forgot with all the man on man action – which does nothing for me, by the way.” Willow dashed up the stairs.

“Knock, knock.” Willow smiled brightly as she entered Buffy’s bedroom. The smile died on her face when she clapped eyes on her patient.

Buffy was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees, rocking gently back and forth. Her hair was flat, her face pale. Willow stared at her a moment. If eyes were supposed to be a window to your soul, then Buffy’s had left the building. There was nothing in her look but emptiness.

“Hey there, little lady.” Willow gave her a broken smile. “Everything’s going to be alright, Buffy. Here’s the antidote.”

Pouring the black sludge into a cup on Buffy’s nightstand, Willow explained: “When this is cool enough, drink it all. You’ll start feeling better right away.”

Without making eye contact, Buffy took the cup and nodded.

“You want me to wait with you?”

Buffy shook her head, entirely emotionless.

Willow moved towards the door, “Alright, but make sure you drink all of it – it probably won’t taste too great.”

Buffy continued to stare into nothingness after Willow left. Slowly, she reached her arm out and raised the antidote cup over her garbage can. She didn’t want to be here. Not anymore.

“Buffy! I forgot to tell you.” Willow smiled excitedly as she skipped back into the room, not noticing the pending fate of the antidote.

Buffy carefully moved her arm and the cup back beside her. After a heartbeat pause she glance up at her friend.

Willow had debated whether or not to spread the news of the newest gay Scoobie, but it was just bursting to come out. “Guess who was making with the smoochies in your front hall. Spike and Xander. Yup Xander! Kissing Spike and not in a European peck on the cheek kind of way, in a let’s check if you have tonsils kind of way.”

It took a moment to process the information in her foggy brain, but soon her imagination went to work at what the scene must have looked like when Willow walked in. A small smile played on Buffy’s lips. Slowly it grew into a real smile, then a chuckle – almost a giggle.

Something clicked – something great about this world of vampires and slayers, “You know, the more crazy things that happen here, the more real it gets.”, Buffy commented. She took a sip of the tar-like substance in her cup. It didn’t taste as bad as she’d thought it would.

+++++

 

Spike waited in frustration as Xander fumbled with the keys. “I can just break it down, you know,” he offered, entirely serious.

The door finally opened and the two piled in, falling over each other in their impatience. Spike shut the door behind them and locked it. Reaching out for the larger man, he pushed him against the door.

Strong hands held the human tightly in place while the vampire drove his tongue into Xander’s mouth.

“Talk, later. Fuck, now.” Spike suggested while he yanked a baggy shirt over the brunet’s head.

“Okay.” Xander agreed eagerly, tugging Spike’s T-shirt out of tight jeans. Blood was clearly no longer flowing to his brain.

Vampire speed and flexibility helped kick off tied up boots and peel off both the black tee and jeans faster than should be possible for such tight clothing. Xander’s loose fitting pants fell soon after.

Xander couldn’t take his eyes off the naked glory that stood before him. Does he know how gorgeous he is? “You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. God, I’m gay aren’t I?”

“If you think ‘gay’ means: like to shag blokes, then yeah, I think you are, love.” Spike looked down at his lover’s Spiderman boxers, particularly noticing the large tent that had formed. “Nothin’ wrong with that you know – shaggin’ blokes. People been doing it for thousands of years. Hell, back then people thought women were for babies and men were for pleasure.” Reaching out, he ran a finger along the cotton covered shaft.

Brown eyes closed tightly as the sensation of Spike’s touch rippled through his body. How could he have denied this attraction? He’d been trying to convince himself that the dreams he’d been having about Spike were because of some after effect of being a vampire and not because he wanted to have hot crazy sex with him again. But the reality was, if Spike touched him like that again he was going to explode.

Spike stared at the quivering man in front of him. How could Xander Harris look so damn hot? He was melting to every touch, leaning in to every stroke. Spike couldn’t ask for a more responsive partner. His erection grew achingly harder.

Pale hands slowly stripped Xander of the last piece of clothing. Spike knelt in front of Xander to help him step out of his shorts. Taking advantage of his position, he gave a small bite to Xander’s inner thigh. Xander cried out in surprise.

He bit me, Xander’s mind screamed in pleasure. Maybe it was the residual kinkiness of having been a vampire, but it was the most erotic thing anyone had ever done to him. He couldn’t wait to find out all the other little tricks a hundred years of experience had to offer. “Bedroom.” Xander squeaked as he felt Spike softly blowing air onto the head of his cock.

Spike stood and smirked, “Whatever you prefer, Gorgeous.” He quickly turned and headed to the bedroom.

Xander leaned against the cool wood of the door, catching his breath. His eyes instinctively followed his partner and the tight muscles in his back and buttocks which rippled with every step.

Feeling a bit like a frightened virgin, Xander followed his undead lover.

Spike was already on the bed, posed as if he were a porn star ready for the director to say ‘action’.

“You really are a drama queen, you know that?” Xander quipped, lightening the mood and his nerves. Light banter, familiar territory.

“Hey pet, I don’t see your cock complaining.” Spike pointed out the rock hard member that led Xander into the room.

Xander looked down at himself, “This thing? It’s got no appreciation of subtlety.” Feeling a bit more confident, he knelt on the bed beside Spike.

Xander let out a sharp gasp as Spike moved quickly to kiss him, but not his lips. His entire cock was surrounded by Spike’s mouth, his tongue twisting and turning around it. His lips formed a tight ring as he pumped and sucked, teasing it.

Arching his back, Xander reached his arms behind him for support. In his fantasies, Spike was always tender and gentle with his cock. He wasn’t prepared for the passion, the fierce seduction that was being unleashed on his throbbing dick. It was overwhelming, his body reacted appreciatively to the intensity.

Gripping Spike’s shoulders, he tugged at him lightly. “Spike, please. God I’m gonna… I’m gonna have a friggin’ heart attack here.” He felt his heart pounding in his ears at a frantic pace.

Spike carefully released him and looked up. “Naw, you weren’t that close. I’d ‘ve stopped.” With a devilish smirk he added, “Probably.”

“Ha ha. Look at the vampire making with the death jokes in bed.” Xander leaned down and removed Spike’s smirk by sticking his tongue down the insolent vampire’s throat. Pulling back from the kiss he gasped for breath and added, “Isn’t that a bit cliché, even for you?”

Spike tilted his head for better access to the lips that temporarily abandoned him. “Shut up, Harrrss” Spike mumbled into another kiss.

The light mood of the scene shifted quickly into heavy desire: two naked bodies intertwined, sliding and pumping against each other, seeking friction and contact. Sounds of passion echoed through the room as they desperately sought to find deeper intimacy in the coupling.

Spike was the first to reach for the nightstand. Grabbing blindly at the spot he had found the tube in his dream.

“In the box, under the bed” Xander gasped between kisses.

Spike whipped a free arm under the bed to find the precious box. It was easily within reach, which really wasn’t surprising. He grabbed a tube that he recognized as appropriate for the task.

Spike motioned for Xander to flip face down on the bed.

“I want to see you.” Xander requested, slightly embarrassed by his own sentimentality.

Spike blinked in surprise. Drusilla would scream like a banshee in the hundreds of kinky positions they’d tried, but in every single one her eyes where shut tight. Buffy was worse with her far-off looks while they fucked. They were incredibly passionate lovers, but neither really cared who it was that was getting them off.

Spike leaned forward and gently, almost chastely kissed his lover. He could really fall in love with this man. Maybe he had already.

Clearing his throat in an attempt to calm his emotions, Spike explained, “It’ll be a little harder this way, being your first time and all that.” In an attempt to lighten the intensity of the moment, he added with a sexy smirk “But whatever floats your boat.”

Xander laid back on the mattress with Spike kneeling between his legs. The awkwardness of the position hit him. It felt like a mockery of the missionary position. “Is this the only way to, you know, be face to face. It seems kinda weird.”

“Feel like a girl, do ya?” Spike chuckled, “Don’t worry; you’ll forget all about girls in a minute.”

Xander breathed in sharply as he felt a cool slick finger circling his entrance. Anya had played around there before, even gotten a finger or two in his ass, but this felt different. Spike was preparing him for something, a big something. Laying on his back, legs spread, he felt very exposed. In his fantasies about Spike, he’d never been on the receiving end of anything other than head.

Spike felt Xander’s muscles clench. He looked up to see a frightened looking boy. Spike sighed; sometimes he forgot just how young the brunet really was. Still working his lubed fingers around the tightening entrance, Spike leaned forward to give Xander a reassuring kiss. “I won’t hurt you, Xander. This is going to feel good. Very good.” Spike gave a cocksure smile “If it’s anything like what I felt a few weeks ago in your kitchen, you’ll be beggin’ for more.”

Something twisted in Xander’s stomach. He knew that he’d had a good time himself, but had it really been that good for Spike? Was he left ‘begging for more’? That thought seemed to warm his insides and twitch his cock.

Spike slowly slipped one finger in, talking Xander through it. “That’s it. Just relax. Spike’s not going to hurt you.” Spike gently moved the finger in and out stretching and massaging. Soon he added a second.

Xander shifted uncomfortably at the invasion.

Spike continued to kiss him and whisper sweet nasties into his ear. “God, you’re so hot, so tight. I can’t wait to be inside you. You are going to burn me, scorch me.” Spike curled his fingers in and rubbed the small lump that made Xander arch his back and gasp for breath.

“Yeah, that’s it, squirm around like you can’t take it anymore” Spike began to alternate between scissoring his fingers and manipulating the prostate. It wasn’t long before Xander was covered with a slight sheen of sweat and Spike was sliding his fingers easily inside the slick canal.

Spike leaned back, so that he was again kneeling between Xander’s legs. He carefully removed his fingers and pressed his cock against the entrance.

Whimpering at the loss of contact, Xander began to press himself onto the tip.

“Eager are we?” Spike grabbed Xander’s hips to control his movements and lifted each of Xander’s legs so that they rested on Spike’s shoulders. This wasn’t going to be the easiest position, especially with their size difference, but they’d manage.

As Xander felt the cock begin to edge inside, his eyes fell on Spike’s. Brown eyes did not look away from blue, until Spike was completely inside. Only then did Xander let his eyes fall shut and let the feeling of being completely filled wash over him. The sensation was overwhelming. Like nothing he’d ever felt before, being stretched and invaded and feeling complete. It felt more intimate then sex.

Spike was struggling for control as he watched Xander melt into the passion of the act. Seeing the amazement on his face was enough to leave Spike gasping for breath.

“This is only the beginning, “ Spike reminded him as he began to pump slowly in and out.

Xander wiggled and thrust as best he could in their awkward position, wanting to do his best to participate. Spike was encouraged by his enthusiasm and sped up the pace.

Soon they were thrusting against each other fiercely, gasping and moaning with each push. Spike felt a surge of pressure in his balls and he knew he was close. Letting go of one of Xander’s hips, he took Xander’s right hand and placed it on his dick. Xander understood the implied instruction and began to pump himself into oblivion.

Spike watch in amazement as Xander’s hands flew back and forth over his erection. Swiftly pulling at his cock to the same rhythm Spike pumped his ass. Xander let out a strangled cry as cum began to squirt over their naked chests. The erotic sight drove Spike over the edge and he followed suit. Spilling his seed deep into Xander.

Spike looked up to see Xander staring back at him. His hair was plastered to his face from sweating, his face was flushed and he had the sweetest smile from ear to ear. “You are so bloody gorgeous”, Spike gasped, trying to recover his breath.

Xander’s goofy smile spread a little wider.

Spike gently pulled out and collapsed beside his lover. He curled into Xander’s shoulder and let out a content sigh. He’d nearly fallen asleep when Xander poked him in the shoulder.

“I guess we need to talk now.”

Spike grumbled in response and curled in tighter to his warm, sweaty pillow.

Xander carefully shrugged him off, and propped himself on his elbow so that he could make eye contact. “Spike, I’m not going to be able to sleep until we’ve had some type of conversation. Starting with ‘what just happened here?’”

Spike knew enough to figure the pretty brunet was not going to drop this anytime soon, “Right then, that was a bloody brilliant shag and we can do it again, soon. Can I sleep now?”

“Spike, “ Xander said, a little disappointed. Xander’s heart was beating heavily in his chest. The lovely afterglow was quickly being replace by the ‘what have I done’ panic.

“Xander,” the vampire responded mockingly. As soon as Spike saw the hurt look on Xander’s face, he knew this had become ‘the talk’. Let’s see how quickly we can get this over. “What do you want to know? Did I plan this? – No. Do I regret it? – No. Do I want to do it again? – Yes. Will I kill you someday? – Not likely. Will I turn you into a vampire? – Only if you ask nicely.” Spike gave Xander a sexy smile and a peck on the cheek and laid back down, hoping for sleep.

“You’re serious.” Xander ran the disclosure through his head. It seemed lacking something – emotion. “That’s it? We’re now friends who have sex and there’s nothing more to talk about?”

Xander could no longer hide the hurt in his voice. “Do you even like me?”

Spike woke up for this. This was important. Putting on his serious face, he focused on keeping eye contact, “Yes, I like you. I’ve always liked you. You make a great white hat, all noble and self-righteous.” Spike glanced down, embarrassed by his own admission, “It’s, well, admirable.”

Xander’s eyes widened in surprise forcing Spike to lighten the mood, “You’re also a blast to argue with.”

Xander smiled warmly at the use of humour to defuse the tension, “Banter, not argue. We lightly banter, like in sitcoms.”

“Right that’s us, a sit com. Like Friends, only gay” Spike offered up sarcastically.

“Oh! Will and Grace!”

“Oi! We’re not bleeding Will and Grace. What kind of pansy-assed fruitcakes do you think we are.” Spike complained to him.

“Ok, maybe were more Queer as Folk types.”

“Yeah, ok – we’re Queer as Folk. Can we sleep now?”

+++++

“So what do you think the girls are gonna say?” Xander asked, pouring both himself and Spike a cup of coffee. After a couple days of wild sex and waking up every morning with Spike still snuggled at his side, Xander started to really believe that this could work. Next step was making the announcement.

Spike sniffed the coffee, shrugged and took a sip. Not bad. “I’m thinking something like ‘can we watch?’”

Xander let that process a second, then grimaced. “Somehow I’m not thinking the first thought on their mind will be voyeur possibilities.”

Spike shrugged, “You’d be surprised. Two sexy guys going at it. Lots of chicks think gay sex is hot.”

“Buffy? Willow? Tara? Please…”

“You’re probably right about the witches. But I’m not so sure about Bu..”

“Don’t even say it,” Xander cut him off. “We are dropping this conversation. I don’t want to think about any of my friends thinking about us – like that.”

“Whatever you say. You’re that one who brought it up. Not like I was suggesting a manage a trios or anything!”

“Firstly, I didn’t bring up fag hags – that was you. And secondly, no talk of threesomes when I’m about to come out of the closet to my friends who all happen to be girls.” Xander got up to place his coffee mug in the sink. Making sure his lover wasn’t looking, he shifted his hardening cock in his jeans. Living with Spike was going to drive him to the brink of insanity.

Spike drained his coffee and moved in behind Xander. Pressing his own erection against Xander, “Are you sure we can’t be a little late for your coming out party?”

Xander moaned and rocked back slightly. He had a feeling that he was going to be late for just about everything with Spike around.

 

THE END

 

 

A/N: Thanks for all your feedback. It was great to read all your reactions after each chapter. Made this little project worth every minute. Marguerite.

 

 

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