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The Deluge
©2002 Evenstar

Chapter 1

Spike stood back and looked over his handiwork, most impressed with himself. The task had taken a little more than the time he'd allotted, but it was done on time and Buffy wasn't due back from patrol for at least an hour. He'd arranged precisely 1764 white long stem roses in bouquets around her bedroom. He doubted she'd actually realize the significance of the 147 dozens, but he knew and that was enough for him. She'd been gone 147 days and he'd returned to Sunnydale on the 148th. He'd returned from Africa a little over 4 weeks previously a new man, a dramatically changed man, one he hoped Buffy would be able to allow herself to consider. Every time he ran the diatribe over in his mind he gave a shudder, he was....it pained him to think....he was a noble vampire, a vampire with a soul.....cast such a poor lot in life then rose above it....yadda, yadda, yadda. Channeling his inner Randy on a daily basis was a serious pain in the ass. However, one thing he wasn't, mercifully, was Randy. The leather duster would only part from his ashes and for no other reason. Each instance his conscience smacked him he'd counter it with a swig from his flask and then spouted off every profanity he could conjure. He couldn't forget who he was after all. The rebel, the rebel with a cause.

The cause was the same as ever, live and die (metaphorically speaking) for his Slayer, for Buffy. When he'd arrived back in California after all he'd been through his first instinct was run to her front door and announce the fact that he'd earned himself his soul. But as he stepped over the threshold into Sunnydale he felt the pangs deep inside that told him that maybe she wouldn't welcome him or even appreciate his journey. So for a while he just watched her, the most thrilling and beautiful woman in history. He loved her from afar and all the more now that the soul told him it was a generous and selfless kind of love. He was watching her back again on patrol and for a few fleeting moments he knew she sensed he was about, but the belief he was gone for good told her it wasn't possible. He was surprised and even heart sick to find that on many occasions she'd make her way to his old crypt. She'd duck inside and often not emerge for as long as half an hour.

Later that first time he'd gone back to look inside and found himself confronted with something that could only be described as sign of hope. The crypt had been washed of any sign he'd ever been there, for in truth at the time of his departure he had no intention whatsoever of returning. However it seemed Buffy had taken it upon herself to establish the place as a refuge. The lower level remained a blackened cave, but the upper level was strewn with candles of a variety of styles, colors and scents, as well as a few old pillows and a blanket that used to be his. He guessed he must have left it at her house and not remembered. There was a pile of paperback books with the makeshift living area, mostly fluff fiction, but also a copy of an anthology of romantic poetry.

He supposed his actions after that could be construed as stalking, but he didn't see it that way. He thought he was being romantic and mysterious. Apparently so did Buffy. It began very simply, he watched her leave for a patrol and eased up to the house to adorn the front mat with a bouquet of pink roses. There was nothing suspicious or assuming about the gathering, they simply intrigued and delighted her when she came upon them. He repeated the action with different flowers for several days until he caught Dawn standing guard on Buffy obvious request. It was then that he augmented his wooing ways, it began by hanging a tiny silver chain with a slight raindrop pendant on the post of her back porch. It took her two days to find it, but she'd been wearing it ever since.

Chapter 2

One night Spike watched from a hiding spot behind the neighbor's row of cedars. Buffy and Dawn exited the house arm in arm, smiling sweetly as they talked. He started to follow and listened intently. He learned they were going to a movie; that Dawn had a part time job at a clothing store in the mall and much to his pleasure Giles had managed to finagle the Council of Watchers into paying the Slayer an annual salary. The lives of the two girls he loved best were quiet and content and the knowledge gave him solace. He turned around and made his way back to the house, his hand reaching inside the pocket of the ever present black leather duster to touch the gift he'd purchased for he bellowed.

Breaking into the house was no trouble whatsoever, simply picking the lock on the back door and slipping inside. Not much, if anything at all had changed about the place, least of which was Buffy's bedroom. It still had the semblance of a young girl's place. The colors were still pastel and soft, the furniture quaint as always. Nonetheless the entire room was permeated with her essence. He could not help the strong pull on his heart to feel closer to her again and lay himself down on her bed. He buried his face in the down of her pillow and inhaled deeply.

The sensations of arousal and animal knowledge caused his entire body to shudder. However he did not linger; he worried she'd take this as an invasion and he had not come to satisfy his own selfish needs. He straightened the covers and lay a small book on her pillow. I was a collection of selected poems of his perennial favorite, Lord Byron. Folded into the 200 year old edition was a verse from 'She Walks in Beauty' written in his own hand. He went back out the way he'd come in, locking the door behind him.

It seemed to Spike that the Slayer was quite taken with the concept of having a secret admirer, after all she hadn't called the cops on him. This sort of behavior continued for him for another week and a half, until he'd been caught in the act. It had come down to a matter of a pair of pink African diamond earrings. The demon Sarlaak, to whom Spike owed the soul restoration, snacked on the things like they were kernels of popcorn. The cave in which the Sarlaak dwelled was littered with the gems and Spike had helped himself to a generous handful, or three - the coat had many pockets after all.

Spike had thought he was alone in the house, Buffy on patrol and Dawn gone out with her friends. He'd been too wrapped up in finding the perfect place to display the earrings to notice someone had come home. Just as he affixed the studs to poor Mr. Gordo's ears, Dawn burst through the door brandishing an armed crossbow.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his skin.

"SPIKE!!!" yelled Dawn, tossing the weapon aside and lunging for the vampire. He found himself with two impossibly strong teenage girl arms crushing his ribcage. He was dumbstruck for a time and unable to will himself to move. When it seemed he wasn't about to be released from her hold anytime soon, he let himself remember how he'd missed the girl. Spike relaxed and returned Dawn's embrace with equal ardor. He sagged over her shoulder and hugged her close.

"Hey.....how's my lil' bit?" he asked in a soothing tone. Dawn looked up at him with eyes full of tears, it was evident he'd been missed.

"I knew it! I knew you weren't gone for good!"

"'Course not."

"Xander said...."

"Oh yeah! Take the whelp's word over ol' Spike's! You know me, platelet, I'll be here for as long as you n' big sis are....just needed to go on a lil' safari, that's all."

"Xander....he said....he said you....."

"What did Xander say?"

"He said you tried to rape Buffy....you would never do that, I know you never would!" Spike sighed and closed his eyes, the most painful memory of his entire unlife washing over him as a black tar. He didn't know how to reconcile what had occurred within himself, let alone to the girl he still held in his arms.

"Dawn.....I......come and sit with me." He led her over to the bed and sat next to her, keeping on her hand in his,"You know I love you right? And that I've never lied to you? You're 16 now, you're not a child and I'm not gonna treat you like one. Okay?" She nodded her head and he continued on,"I love Buffy too, love Buffy above everything else in the whole bloody world. I made a mistake - I thought we were playing the same old games she n' I always had. When I realized it wasn't a game, I stopped and I left. I would never hurt her, not like that, never like that - I'd stake m'self first. Did Buffy say anything?"

"She told me that 'no', you didn't." Relief visibly overcame him and Dawn smiled at seeing it, squeezing his hand tighter,"Spike?"

"Yes, bit?"

"Why are you in Buffy's bedroom?"

"Oh...um....I....." Dawn suddenly caught the glint of light reflecting off of the stuffed pig and grabbed it starring in awe at the earrings.

"It's you!! You're her secret admirer!! Ha! I knew it had to be you!"

"Did you now?"

"Well no...but I hoped. Buffy even thought it was this geek Leonard she used to work with at the Doublemeat."

"She isn't soft on the bloke is she?"

"Um, duh, Spike...she's an idiot. After some embarrassing moments she figured out it wasn't Leonard, then her brain went numb. Now she's thinking it's this Fyarl she fought last month."

"Oh now that's bloody rich! Has it even occurred to her that it might just be the man who's hopelessly in love with her?"

"No, but I think it's because she doesn't want to get her hopes up. She'll never admit it, but I think she misses you. Alot."

"Nice to know, nibblet. Look...I don't have a bloody clue why I'm doing this Don Juan junk....but I'm just trying to make her a lil' happy, give 'er a lil' romance, you know? Maybe earn a chance with her."

"And I'm gonna help you!"

Chapter 3

So as it was, Dawn had kept her word and even helped him inside with all the flowers. It took innumerable trips from the DeSoto, retrieved from the care of the ever loyal friend Clem, to move all the roses up to Buffy's bedroom. Dawn left him to his own for a time and when she came back, tears sprang from her eyes at the beautiful transformation. Spike was just laying a singular red rose on Buffy's pillow when his coconspirator returned.

"I should be going," he reasoned,"Not ready to be unmasked just yet....or staked come to think of it."

"She won't stake you. She might yell, scream, rant and rave...but she won't kill you."

"Don't be too sure 'bout that one, nibblet...I tend to push her buttons. Right then, she'll be home soon, I'll be off now."

"What next after this? It'll be hard to top."

"Well, I was toying with the notion of wrapping m'self up like a birthday prezzy....big red bow n' everything." Dawn rolled her eyes at him.

"How's about you just come to the front door one night?" Spike drew one long stemmed white rose and present it to Dawn with a peck on her cheek.

"'Night, sweet bit." And with that he left.

Buffy returned home after a particularly difficult night of slaying. Most nights she patrolled alone, occasionally Xander would tag along, or Giles now that he'd settled back in Sunnydale. But neither of them could really match up as well as Spike had. With him she had someone with similar feral instincts, someone who anticipated her thoughts and movements in a fight, someone she could get in synch with. That had been Spike and those qualities weren't in either Xander or Giles. Therefore Buffy patrolled alone. The house was quiet, Dawn was likely already asleep and another night was finally to a close for the Slayer. She sighed and put away her stakes and knives in the weapons chest and slowly climbed the stairs.

The unexpected fragrance of flowers touched her senses as she ascended, she passed it off as the summer wind blowing through a probably open window. The light was peaking out from under sister's door and Buffy stopped to say goodnight."Dawn?" Buffy inquired as she rapped lightly on the door and pushed it open.

"Hey Buffy how does the slayage?" her sister answered, looking up from her book.

"It goes...took out a nest of vamps, no big."

"Then why are you covered in dirt?"

"Okay, so they were kinda big...but now they're part of the landscape."

"You look beat, why don't you go lie down in your room and I'll bring you some chamomile tea?"

"Oh, that sounds nice, that's nice of you." Dawn nodded and bounded out of the room and down the hall. Meanwhile, Buffy sleepily crossed the hall to her bedroom, starting to peel off her sweaty, dusty clothes. When she opened the door, the faint smell of roses from before suddenly swelled around her. The pastoral sight of her entire bedroom covered in white roses almost made her swoon. As it was she felt shaky and giddy. The butterflies in her stomach lurched and danced as she tried to regain some composure. The diamonds studs in her ears suddenly felt quite cold on her lobes. This was above and beyond anything she could have ever imagine, the kind of gesture that only ever occurred in romance novels.

Buffy had been standing rooted to the same spot for the entire time Dawn had been gone. The younger Summers' heart leapt with feelings of hope and happiness, Spike was one in a million and hopefully Buffy could start seeing it."Buffy? What is it?" Dawn asked with a hint of a tease. Knowing full well what had stunned her sister into silence, Dawn crept up beside her and shoved the cup of tea into Buffy's hands."Wow...."

"Uh-huh."

"He must really really really really really love you."

"Uh-huh."

"Still no idea who it is?"

"Huh..."

"Was that in the negative or the positive? Would you just look at this...this is true romance, true love. I mean, really, to go to the probably incredible chore of lugging all these dozens or roses up the stairs, take the time to arrange them so nicely. The red rose is a nice touch don't you think?"

"Uh-huh."

"Two syllables....try for three next time."

"Dawn..."

"That's one..."

"Dawn....you were home all night?"

"Yup." The other shoe finally dropped.

"You know who it is!!??!"

"I do."

"Tell me!"

"Nope." Buffy turned to her sister with mouth wide and eyes wider.

"You have to tell me!!"

"Says you? Plbbbbp.....nuts to that. Grab a clue and take a guess, and close your mouth, you'll catch flies."

"Dawn, I've been wracking my brain since the first bouquet of pink roses....please tell me! Give me a hint at least."

"A clue? Hmmm.....well, he's sweet, I like him a whole lot, he's cute....um...he looks out for me...."

"But the only one who remotely fits that description is Xa...."

"Kitten poker, he also enjoys playing poker for kittens."

"Kittens? Oh it's not Clem is it? Poor Clement...he's, he's nice, but he's not my type.....I don't want to crush him...." Inside her head Dawn was screaming to Buffy that she's was an idiot.

"Yes, Buffy, it's Clement.....oh yeah, it's so Clement.....geez....I'm going to bed. Such an idiot......" With a roll of her eyes Dawn left Buffy to her delusions, What does it take? A sledgehammer? Railway spike through the brain? What an idiot......

"Clement? Clement? Oh dear....."

Chapter 4

Buffy woke up to the sound of pouring rain. At first it didn't register that it was indeed water falling from the sky, she couldn't remember the last time it rained. The next sound she heard was Dawn's feet pounding up the stairs and then the teenager burst into the room,"Buffy? Oh good you're up...do we have an umbrella?"

"Huh?"

"An um-brel-la, it's raining outside."

"It doesn't rain in Sunnydale."

"Tell that to the rain. Umbrella? Gotta go to work, the mall will be busy with the rain driving people inside, I don't want to be late."

"There might be one in the closet under the stairs. You'll be home when?"

"Later...before patrol time, promise! C-ya!" Dawn was gone before she had a chance to say anything more. Buffy rolled out of bed and padded across the way to the bathroom barely picking her feet up, yawning widely. Mornings were not her favorite time, Dawn was almost always up first, not a typical teenager. Buffy's sister was usually happy to start another day, Buffy usually asked for another hour of sleep. She stepped into the hot stream of the shower's water and swayed gently to the combined rhythm of the rain outside and the water flowing down her body. Her day was already planned in her mind, the first thing to do would be to sit down with Clement and let him down easy. She would thank him, tell him she was flattered, then break his poor sweet heart. She was dreading it, he'd gone to such lengths and showed such adorable devotion and they'd barely spent and time together.

She'd asked him one time if he'd heard from Spike and hadn't really spoken to him since, he was only able to tell her what she already knew. Spike had left with the intention of coming back, but now that he'd been gone so long even Clem wasn't sure he was coming back. Every time Buffy thought of the the long departed vampire her entire body felt an ache she didn't know was possible. She wasn't supposed to miss him, she wasn't supposed to care about where he'd gone and she definitely was not supposed to find herself silently hoping he was okay. Maybe he'd hooked up with Drusilla again, maybe they were raising hell all over Europe. Or perhaps he was just alone in the corner of some pub in London drowning his sorrows in a pint of beer. At any rate he wasn't in Sunnydale, despite the fact that his presence was everywhere she went. There wasn't a single spot in the entire city that didn't evoke some memory of him.

She hit the shower off abruptly, making the pipes groan loudly. She chastised herself for the apparent weakness for thinking about him and cursed the vampire for making her this way. She had some unpleasant business to attend to on this dreary day and the sooner she saw to it, the sooner she could get back to her life, whatever that meant. She never missed Riley this much, maybe not even Angel.

Later that same morning Buffy waited for the friendly demon to answer her knock on his door. She heard scuffling on the other side before the door was suddenly swept open to reveal a rather unsettled and ever wrinkly Clem."BUFFY! Buffy! So...so....so....n..nice to see you again. How's Dawn? What can I do for you? And how about that rain huh?" he stammered.

"Hello Clement, can I come in?"

"NO! I mean no, the place is a mess, it's embarrassing."

"I don't mind....well, this won't take too long. Clem you've been wonderful, ever since my birthday party and especially how you were with helping me with Dawn after Spike....after he left. The gifts have been beautiful, really they have, but I think last night needs to be the last time. It's not that I don't think you're a fantastic person....but I.....we can't work, we're just too different....."

"Buffy? What are you talking about?"

"Sorry?"

"What happened last night?"

"The flowers, the jewelry, the poetry..."

"Sophie would pull my skin tight if I so much as dared to think about another woman! You have a secret admirer? And you thought it was me?"

"Dawn said.....hold on, you're dating Sophie?"

"Ever since the party....love at first sight...you know how it is - can't fight destiny. Dawn's a sweet kid and we're pretty good pals, so maybe whatever she said was just wishful thinking?"

"That must be it.....sorry to have bothered you."

"Don't be silly, nothing to apologize for. You have a real good day Buffy."

"Yeah..." She turned and walked back down the hall of his apartment building, too embarrassed to think she could ever look Clem in the eye again. He shut the door and let out a sigh of relief, slumping against the wood. Spike emerged from the other room playing with the small kitten he held in his in his hand, it was from the other night's poker winnings.

"How long you gonna keep this up?" Clem inquired. Spike continued his mock battled with the feline, letting its paws bat at his fingers. He looked at Clem with a mischievous grin.

"You think the Slayer would like herself a kitty cat?"

Chapter 5

The rain had not let up all day and after nightfall it only seemed to get worse. Buffy and Dawn had shared dinner, with the younger of them telling of her insane day on the job. The rain had driven everyone inside and that meant a very busy day at the mall. To compound matters now, this night's patrol was going down in the record books as possibly the most miserable ever. The rain was positively torrential, the jacket Buffy wore was wholely inadequate and to top it off she hadn't seen a single vampire."Guess I'm the only one stupid enough to be out on a night like this." She broken into a run, heading for Spike's crypt, but along the way she got her foot stuck in a sink hole and fell into a pile of mud."Typical." When she finally reached her safe haven she looked and felt like a drowned rat. She was soaked through to the bone, shivering and on the verge of tears. She had the corner market on self pity. Buffy burst inside just as if Spike would have been waiting for her. As it was she stood there shocked to find many of her candles illuminated and the interior bathed in a soft amber hue.

Her slayer senses immediately alerted he to the presence of vampires. Six snarling and feral faces emerged from the shadows and advanced on her. With a stake in hand, Buffy engaged the first of them, giving it a few quick jabs and then strong left cross before giving him a stake to the heart. The others did not proved to be so easy to combat. Her strikes were hard, but misguided as she defended herself against all five at once. She managed to stake three within the melee, but the remaining two were very large and stronger than she'd expected.

Somehow her feet got kicked out from under and she landed flat on her back. Before she could recover the vampire had climbed on top of her with every intention of making a meal of her. However just as the reality of her peril sunk in he'd suddenly exploded into dust. The last vampire was no where in sight, and as the cloud of vampire remains settled a black clad figure with platinum blond hair loomed above her.

"Spike," she whispered, almost too overcome from seeing him standing there with a stake in hand and the familiar look of love on his face,"You're home." He offered her his hand, but she didn't react.

"You're alright, love? You're not 'urt are you?" He knelt down next to her, a slight smile playing at the corners of his mouth,"Buffy?"

"I...." her voice caught in her throat, then it came out with a sneeze. Almost instantaneously Spike had her by the shoulders and was lifting her to her feet. He guided her over to the cozy corner she had made for herself and bundled her up in the blanket.

"You shouldn't be out on a night like this, love. No vampires about, they'll have all gone inside or underground. Bloody rotten all this rain, makes me think I was back in merry olde England."

"Is that where you were?"

"No, pet...somewhere alot farther away, but I'm back now."

"Didn't think you were ever coming back."

"'M not surprised, considering how bad we left things....but I couldn't stay away for good....I made promises, and I never go back on m'word. So here I am and just in the nick of time I reckon, by the looks of things."

"I could have handled it."

"I know, Slayer, but I've always got your back."

"Yeah..." She fell in silence, staring down at the floor. She wasn't prepared for this moment, not by a long shot. Part of her wanted just to hold him to make sure he was real; while the other wanted to scream at him for being such a son of a bitch for leaving when he did, especially with so many unresolved issues between them.

"Buffy what happened between us right before I left...the very reason I left...." Suddenly Buffy was on her feet, the blanket tossed aside.

"I can't do this, not tonight...."

"Love..."

"Don't call me that! What is wrong with you? You disappear for months and then just waltz back into my live acting like a big hero......and.....and..."

"And maybe you should be getting home to the nibblet." His unwillingness to have a confrontation was even more infuriating than his sweet demeanor and the bedroom eyes he wouldn't turn off. Then in an unexpected act of chivalry he took off his heavy coat and presented it to her."To keep the rain off and the cold out."

"Spike, I can't....."

"Slayer, just take it. I'll stop by to see Dawn and retrieve it then. Go on, you need it more than I do....rain and cold don't do much to a vamp except make him grouchy." Reluctantly she accepted it and slipped her arms inside. She was practically swimming in the leather, but he was right, she needed it and she was grateful for it. She headed towards the door, but turned back for a moment to look again at his face, trying to imprint it deeper into her memory. He looked back at her in a similar manner, cocking his head to one side."I always knew you'd look beautiful in diamonds."

Chapter 6

"Dawn Summers get your ass down here now!!" Buffy shouted as soon as she stepped through the front door. Dawn emerged from the way of the kitchen. She stopped short at the sight of her sister and laughed at the drenched Slayer wearing what could only be Spike's coat.

"Is that a post reunion shag glow you've got going on?"

"Try a furious rage!"

"Oh don't get your panties in a twist.....or did he already for that for you?"

"He did nothing of the sort, nor will he be! You knew it was Spike all along and you didn't tell me!"

"Why would I? You loved all the attention having a secret admirer was giving you. I know you love everything he's given you. You never take off that necklace, or the earrings, the poetry book is on your bedside table. Admit it Buffy you missed him even more than I did. The only reason you took the coat is 'cause you knew he'd come for it."

"He helped me with some vamps and made me take the coat so I wouldn't get wet..."

"Yeah right. You're such and idiot! I can't believe you're my sister."

"Excuse me? He's stalking me again....he's sick.....twisted....."

"He was only trying to make you happy....he was only trying to tell you he still loves you. By the way, calling him names isn't working on convincing either of us."

"He doesn't know what love is, he doesn't have a soul....."

"Look in his eyes."

"What?"

"Take two seconds away from your bitching and moaning to look into his eyes and then tell me that he doesn't love you with all his heart." Buffy didn't have a convincing reply and it was clear Dawn was still Spike's champion over her's. A soft plaintiff mew came from the area at Buffy's feet and she looked down to see a very tiny orange colored kitten with blue eyes looking up at her.

"Where did.....??"

"Spike."

"Damn him....this is the last thing I need." Dawn scooped the kitten up, the creature barely filling her two hands.

"Good, because Spike didn't bring him for you, he gave him to me and brought everything else the fluffer will need. Plus, I have a job and I'll take care of him all by myself."

"We're not keeping the cat!" Dawn brought the kitten within an inch of Buffy's face and his small paw whapped at her nose, Buffy crumbled to the power of kitten cuteness.

"I've named him William."

***

Buffy had used up all the hot water getting herself warm and washing off all the mud and vampire dust. She entered her room with a towel around her body and the hair loose and freshly blow dried. When she saw Spike's coat where she'd let it fall on the floor, a sudden carnal knowing spread through her entire body. She felt a full ache of remembrance throb in her lower abdomen. She took a shaky breath and picked up the coat and let the towel fall in it's place. The leather duster wrapped around her like a cocoon, the silk interior sumptuous against her bare skin, almost as smooth as his skin. It smelled so keenly of the vampire, with his cigarettes and liquor, it made her heart thump wildly in her chest. Buffy lay on her bed, covered in his coat and thought of Spike as her hands traveled downwards on her body.

Chapter 7

Anything but the evil blood sucking fiend, think of anything but the evil bloody sucking fiend.....mmmm....sucking fiend....stop it Buffy Summers or I swear I'll take away your ice cream privileges! Buffy's internal dialogue with herself made her question her own sanity. Perhaps she'd had had another run with with Garnal gash m'whatever and didn't know it. The fiend loves you, the fiend has been wooing you like the girls in Jane Austen novels daydream about, the fiend is soft and passionate and sensitive....and.....and....you're not allowed to think about him, or touch the coat anymore or touch yourself whilst wearing the coat. That's it, not ice cream from now until eternity. Damn him. Why does he have to be so....so...so....beautiful and so sad? The pain in her leg broke her from her musings, the kitten was crawling up her leg as she sat at the kitchen island.

"Claws! William..." Buffy reached down and took the kitten by the scruff of her neck and placed him in front of her on the counter. The kitten scrutinized her with a curiosity exactly like Spike's,"William.....it's not fair you know? I was well and truly prepared to never see that stupid vampire again. I can't even talk to him, we used to be able to talk, I miss the talking. How do I tell him I'm sorry for how we left things? How do I tell him that I don't blame him? How do I tell him....can we talk, William?" The kitten meowed and swatted at her moving lips. Buffy giggled and kissed the paw,"I'll take that as a yes. How do I tell Spike that I think I want to....try? I want things be uncomplicated, but we can never be uncomplicated. I want fun, I want the roses and the diamonds.....I don't want the moral dilemmas, I don't want the one-upmanship game, I want......who am I kidding William? I want to be in love...I'm lonely and I'm scared and he's back in my life. God I'm so miserable...." Her forehead hit the counter and the kitten jumped, but came back to play with her hair.

"Morning Buffy!" Dawn said brightly as she came into the kitchen, picking up William and nuzzling his face,"There's my pretty boy!"

"Don't let Spike hear him calling you that." Buffy's head rose from the counter and she made a face as the rain continued to pound against the house."God, is it ever going to quit out there? Main Street's probably a river by now."

"The news on my radio this morning said we were in for a real deluge...rain, rain, rain for days.....yuck. I heard it rains 300 days a year in British Columbia....god that would suck."

"I hear yah. Working today?"

"Not till the afternoon, I called Spike at Clem's and he's gonna drive me so I don't have to walk in the rain."

"C..Clem's? Spike's staying with Clem?"

"Yeah.....Clem's generous like that, give you the shirt off his back kinda guy. Let Spike take William from his poker winnings even!"

"Oh god...." Buffy's head hit the counter again.

"Something wrong sister dear?"

"You're evil.....you set me up!"

"I did, didn't I? You deserved it. Are you really going to keep this act up?" Dawn replaced William in front of Buffy and went to open a can of cat food for him.

"What act?" She raised her head and reached out to scratch under the kitten's chin.

"Buffy, you know what I'm talking about. Your friends have tried to set you up with guys, you turn them all down. You never flirt or even look at other guys at the Bronze. It been that way all summer, I know you still go to the crypt, and you also smell of alcohol, cigarettes and leather - you slept in the coat." Dawn put the food in front of William and he snarled and began to devour it."And you love his kitten." Buffy held in a laugh, but her smile was evident.

"I don't know if we can work out, there's so much pain between us.....so much abuse...anger..."

"On your part...what about him?"

"Blind faith, abeyance and sensitivity."

"You don't have to sleep with him, you don't even have to kiss him, you can just hang out and talk. You did that when you first came back - wasn't that what lead to sleeping with him? Maybe you'll learn a few things about him, a few things you never knew were there. Maybe you'll remember that you actually really like him."

"What about trusting him? How can I let myself be with someone who is fundamentally a demon?"

"Maybe that's where you should start, have it out with him, get it out of your system - have the 'you're a demon' and 'I'm a human' talk....interacial relationships are widely accepted you know."

"When on Earth did you grow up? It spooks me."

"When you started acting like a child. It's been tough without him."

"Yeah."

"So, suck it up Summers....when he comes for his coat, under the guise of seeing me, be nice."

"I'm nice."

"Not to him you're not. William doesn't approve, he loves his daddy."

"I can't believe you named the cat William."

Chapter 8

Buffy had decided patrolling was be a colossal waste of time, Spike was right, the only demons out there to slay at this point would be amphibious and she wasn't in the mood for fishy frog creatures. Instead she busied herself for when Spike would bring Dawn home from her work. She stood in front of the mirror questioning her outfit. This was the forth and she hoped last; the wet weather had pushed the summer warmth aside and the house was chilly. The kitten was curled up on Buffy's pillow, it's nose snuggled against Mr. Gordo. She adored the little orange fuzz ball, he was so cute and innocent and everything he did, including the love bites endeared her to him. The real kicker was that he reminded her Spike - mischievous, fierce, but also in search of unconditional love and so willing to give it in return. Satisfied that a pair of black slacks and a burgundy t-shirt with a low scooping neck was tasteful yet alluring she left William to his nap and went downstairs to start dinner.

Buffy hummed to herself a tune she didn't know the name of, but the song had come into her heart nonetheless. Cooking had once been as terrifying to her as taking on The Master or Glory; but now she loved it, in fact she was very comfortable in her role as homemaker/Slayer. Not having to worry over money was an immense relief, leaving her to grow into herself when not actively fighting the forces of darkness. So as she often did, Buffy was making dinner and enjoying it. Chilies Rellenos were on the menu tonight, something spicy that would hopefully entice Spike to stay for dinner. As she fried the chilies and made the egg mixture her mind waffled back and forth between wanting a real relationship with Spike and pushing him away, out of her life. She was petrified of him being a vampire, Dawn was right, that was the one thing she couldn't reconcile. But she'd done it so easily with Angel, why couldn't she with Spike? When she tallied the race between their acts of goodness, the blond one was way ahead. Especially in the sub-category of selfless acts of Buffy-happifying. Once dinner was in the oven she found herself once again in front of the mirror, making sure the diamonds on her ears with shimmering and the silver pendant laying down to her cleavage.

The long missed sound of the DeSoto's roaring motor was heard in the driveway, even over the raindrops beating upon the roof. Buffy made sure she was in the middle of setting three places at the table, so he could see she was serious, yet casual; playing games like this with Spike was always precarious. Dawn and Spike burst through the front door and shut it equally as fast as a gust of wind brought in copious amounts of water. The two of them were huddled under the umbrella as well as a blanket,"Bloody hell!" Spike exclaimed, tossing off the drenched fabric,"Where's the ark being built, I wanna get on!"

"Hello Spike," said Buffy from his right and he turned to see her smile and the simple picture of her in a good mood did things to his soul that he wished he could bottle and keep for when the world was kicking him down again.

"Buffy....hi..." he stumbled over the words, returning her smile."Um....brought the bit home safe n' sound, though we did sort of surfed most of the way, I'll be glad to get the coat back, the rain's 'orrible." Dawn gave Buffy a wink and carried on upstairs.

"Do you have to rush off? I thought maybe...maybe...."

"Yeah?"

"I made Mexican food....spicy, how you like it...I thought you'd maybe like to stay for dinner."

"Me?"

"Have a seat at the table, Spike." She brushed past him, giving him a little push towards the dining room. This left Spike feeling like he was walking on the moon, weightless and one hop away from drifting off into the sun. He took a seat in front of a place setting and waited for a second before letting out a sharp uncontrolled leap of his voice.

"I'll be damned...bloody diamonds n' roses worked!" he added afterwards to himself. Dawn came back downstairs minutes later, just as Buffy was setting the casserole on the table. Buffy went back to the kitchen for drinks, giving Dawn just enough time to give Spike a wide toothy grin that served to both confuse and intrigue the vampire. Buffy returned and set a cold beer in front of him.

"That's the kind you like, right? I wasn't sure," Buffy spoke as she poured white grape juice for herself and Dawn from a pitcher.

"Yes....it's marvelous, love....um.....can I ask something? I'm not trying to make trouble..."

"Go ahead."

"Why have I been invited to dinner? Last night you didn't seem too happy to see me." Buffy scooped a large stuffed chili pepper from the pan and put it on his plate.

"We'll talk.....later...eat up."

Chapter 9

Dawn excused herself after helping with the dishes, giving Buffy and Spike some privacy. She did feel sympathy for her best friend, knowing the plethora of issues Buffy was probably going to hit him with. In the same token he'd probably be elated just to spend the hours in her presence. Buffy had followed Dawn upstairs shortly after and returned with his coat, laying over the side of an armchair before sitting down next to him on the couch, keeping a respectable distance between them.

"What do I have the sneaking suspicion that there's something going here, Slayer?" Spike asked, relaxing into the cushions, Buffy taking a quick chance to observe how his taut muscles rippled under his t-shirt. Spike saw her skin flush and smiled appreciatively at her, noting that she still wore his gifts.

"There is....and the food and beer was just a way to get you to stick around....I want us to talk, a talk we need to have...about the night before you left...our misunderstanding....." Spike darkened, and his body became tense, eyes falling to floor. His jaw tightened and he wanted to be the first to speak about it, to ask for forgiveness, but when he opened his mouth his voice was gone. Buffy curled her legs up under her and hugged herself, feeling equally as apprehensive."I don't think you ever knew this, why would you? But when I was in high school, it was after I'd been with Angel and before you and I made our truce, a boy tried to.....well, if I wasn't the Slayer he probably could have r...raped me..." Spike's head shot up and eyes were wide with shock, he never would have imagined such as thing had already happened to her."As it was I broke his nose." Spike grinned a little, that was his Buffy."But for a split second there I forgot I was the Slayer, and I was just a little girl, just like Dawn and I was terrified, felt it right in the pit of my stomach."

"Buffy...." he barely got her name out before his voice disappeared again. He leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands, rubbing his face and trying desperately not to break apart in front of her. The soul was working overtime on his guilt.

"Things got scary that night....and I'm sorry, I felt like I did in high school - but - I don't blame you." He stared straight ahead, his cheekbones sharp and pronounced as he clenched his jaw. He chest ached something fierce and his throat burned, a thin stream of tears had trailed down his face. The soul again.

"You should blame me," he whispered,"I'm a monster, you can't forget that."

"You're a vampire, I'll never forget that....but I don't believe you're a monster, not anymore. You have a demon inside you and can only pretend to understand that, but I think I do - because there's a bit on one in me too. Not literally, but I have a dark side, I can accept that now. Using you for sex was wrong, beating on you was wrong, and that's what got us to the breaking point. I'm sorry for everything, Spike." He didn't move a muscle, but the tears kept coming, she had no idea vampires could cry like this. She touched him and he flinched, she drew her hand back and waited for his reply.

"Don't say you're sorry."

"But I am."

"NO! Buffy.....damn it....I almost raped you! God, I hate that word...hate even the bloody word....I never thought that was me, even with the demon inside - Angelus did it all the time, but I told myself that it was beneath me....I never thought I'd......"

"You didn't."

"Don't do this....don't.....I...I.....I loved you, I worshiped you and I did something unforgivable! I thought I could come back into your life, make a little romance with gifts and poetry.....but bloody hell, I didn't get it! I do now....I never wanted to feel like this, never wanted to love someone so much that I could lose myself. Drusilla made me, but I always stood on my own...but with you it was different. I thought you'd made me into a new man, a good man....but I was wrong, you kept telling me I couldn't rise above it....and now I understand that it was true..."

"It's not true."

"It is true! If it's not true then why did I 'urt you? Why did I hurt you? Why did you let me hurt you?" He was shaking now, crying and shaking. He'd broken down and he couldn't have helped himself if he tried. Damn the soul. Buffy leaned against him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"I forgive you."

"Don't forgive me, I can't be for...."

"Too late, I already have...it's in the past....it's all in the past."

"What are you telling me?"

"I'm living in the now and hoping for a future. With you."

Chapter 10

"Buffy?" She brushed away his tears with her finger tips and smiled at him, her eyes moist and tremulous.

"I had a long talk with Dawn today. She made me see a few truths. You're a vampire, I'm the Slayer....this is supposed to be wrong, we should never have gotten together in the first place, etc. etc. That's what Giles would say, that's what Xander would say...that's what I would say. Spike, I have to take responsibility for our past, I believe that I've grown and I can see that we're really equals, in every way. We make mistakes, we're blind, we're dark...but we're also brave, and fierce and strong. Dawn dropped an anvil on me earlier; I've missed you, I missed how we used to talk, how sometimes we were good to each other. How sometimes we were beautiful together. I'm taking a leapt of faith. It's hard for sure, but I can't go into denial mode, or limbo mode, that's no way to live. This summer I've been living, I've gone back to who I was in the beginning - full of fire. A girl who isn't messed up in the head or playing cruel games with people. I loved that girl and I'm glad she's back, but she's lonely."

"Lonely for me? Am I hearing you right? You're choosing me? Even after how ugly it got? You don't see that night playing over in your mind when you look at me?"

"Um....yes, yes, yes, yes and no. Hey, life's certainly more interesting with you around, I'll give you that. I want to take things slowly..."

"But there'll be the taking of things, pet?"

"There will." He was relaxing, tension dissipating to parts unknown."I don't have a safety net with you, Spike...."

"You won't need one, love....I won't disappoint you, never again, I know how this time, promise I do....just give me a chance."

"I'm giving you a chance, because I think I want to try and trust you now - I know what that means to you. You showed remorse that night, you hated yourself. I saw it then, but the wounds were too fresh to acknowledge it. I want a clean slate, give me a chance too?"

"In a bloody heartbeat!"

"When's the next one coming....'cause you know, it's been a while for you..."

"Very funny, Slayer. I can't believe this is suddenly m'life....I'm dating you Buffy....can you bloody believe that?" He smiled and his eyes practically sparkled.

"And look at me, 'cause you know......vampire boyfriend, but strangely normal feeling....we're so screwed up it's not even funny."

"But at least we're screwed up together, right?"

"Right."

"I'm liking the new you, pet, must admit. "

"I do to.....I'm very phoenixy, risen from the ashes kinda girl - I like the new you. It's been hard, really hard....I still really miss Tara."

"Where'd she go?"

"What?!"

"You miss Tara...where'd she go?"

"Dawn didn't tell you?"

"I guess not, we haven't really spent much time together outside of her helpin' me with the presents n' stuff. Clem never mentioned, mind you I've only been at his place for week......spent most of my time just doing the stuff for you, haven't cared much for hooking up with ther others, I think you can understand why. I don't think I'd be welcomed back with open arms. The Wiccan take off back 'ome? She n' Red couldn't work things out?"

"Oh Spike...."

The telling of the 147 days Spike had been gone from Sunnydale was both the most difficult as well as cathartic experience Buffy had labored through in a long time, not since she'd smashed the Master's bones. He listened in silence the entire time as he learned of her latest near death experience, the fate of the young Wiccan, the dissension of Willow, the culmination and the near destruction of the world. They'd reclined on the couch somewhere in the middle of the story, and by the end of the story she'd inched closer to him. It began as a quiet, soft brush of their lips, but it quickly escalated. It seemed as if they'd been sharing kisses for hours. Wildly passionate, deeply tender and sweetly teasing kisses that made Buffy's spine melt. Kisses that washed away pain, bad memories, sad lowly times.

Sometimes, as they were proving, just the kissing was more than enough to tell a person how you felt about them. Sometimes kissing was even more erotic than getting naked and reconnecting, literally. They could kiss each other for days and never come up for air, and never want to. She'd been running her hands through his hair, messing it in the most embarrassing way, while his hands worked over the muscles of her back. Her lips were parched and sore, but wet from his mouth and warm from the pressure. As for her tongue, she was certain once she stopped she wouldn't be able to use it for talking. None of that mattered of course, because he was home, he was touching her in a beautiful way and he loved her.

Buffy heard a sound like an electrical surge thrum in the air, and then suddenly the power went out and they were plunged into blackness and silence. The of white noise from the appliances and the complete lack of light drew them both away from each other."Damn," Buffy muttered.

"Don't worry, pet, it'll come back on....wind probably brought a line down.....more kissing please....." She found the sweet tone of his request highly amusing and obliged, but only for a moment, when she thought she was hearing new sounds that only the silence revealed.

"What was that?" Spike sighed and released his hands from her.

"Your mind playing tricks on you....kiss me."

"Spike, wait....there could be something lurking out there."

"Love, the only thing that lurks around your house is me, and I'm right in front of you and I want more lips." She started to do as he asked, but her head snapped away when she heard her noise again.

"There's definitely something out there..." He let go of her and got to his feet."Spike?"

"I'll go give the place a look 'round."

"No, don't go out, the rain's coming down really hard, you'll get soaked....I'm sure it's nothing..."

"You're not used to this kind of weather, makes the world seem chaotic...I'm fairly certain there's nothing goin' on out there besides an impending apocalypse......big bloody deal."

"Yeah, you're probably right....about the rain, not the apocalypse." She suddenly yawned and Spike looked over her lithe body as she stretched it out.

"I should be heading out anyways, love."

"Why?"

"Tempation...you can only dangle the apple in front of me so long before I want a bite. Um....bad choice of words, sorry. I'm still trying at being the gentleman, you know? Wh...why don't I come by tomorrow night?"

"Or you could sleep on the couch?" He raised an eyebrow to her and even in the dark she saw it."The weather's bad, maybe even dangerous..."

"I've been in hurricanes, sweetheart."

"And maybe there's really something outside and I'm feeling all girly and want a man in the house."

"That's a fib."

"Fine....I want you to stay because it's been so long since I've seen you and I don't want to go to bed with you yet, but I don't want you to go either....okay?"

"Okay, love."

***

Buffy listened to the upheaval outside for hours, the rain was coming down in sheets and the wind had begun to howl. She was used to clear, balmy nights that lulled her, not this meteorological mayhem. Tossing her resolve out the proverbial window she snuck back downstairs to check on Spike, just in case he too was unable to sleep. She admitted disappointment to herself to when she found him sound asleep. He looked truly beautiful and peaceful, illuminated by the sole lit candle she held. The shadows draped over his face, his cheekbones seeming more pronounced, deeper and his body longer somehow. There was goodness in this man and she saw it clearly for the first time just then. She blew out the small votive and picked up the blanket that was near the front door. She made sure it was dry before covering him with it. As she continued to look upon him she felt the kitten winding between her ankles."Hello, sweet William, come to see him? He saved you didn't he? Why don't you keep him warm tonight?" She picked up the orange furred creature and set him gently on Spike's chest. William curled under the vampire's chin and immediately fell asleep."Don't get too comfy, kitty, 'cause one night that's gonna be my spot."

Chapter 11

Xander walked in through the back door of the Summer's home under the protective cover of an over sized umbrella. He shook himself off like a dog and tossed the soaked umbrella at the door after closing it."Too much more of this and my webbed toes might actually be a blessing," he muttered to himself. He tossed the box of salvageable doughnuts he'd brought with him onto the counter and looked about the house. He noticed their power was out, as was most of Sunnydale's that morning."Buff? Dawnster?! Rise n' shine!" He walked from the kitchen, keeping his ear open for any sign they were up, but there was nothing. He was about to go back out and leave them to sleep in when he noticed there was someone sleeping on the couch. Moments later he stood over Spike, unfettered rage slowly climbing from the pit of his guts until it would explode from him, just as Spike would when he became dust.

Walking to Buffy's weapon's chest, the one he so lovingly had made for her, he opened it and withdrew a stake. His manner was casual, cold, but there was no lacking for emotion. Spike had been the bane of his existence since he'd first come to town. He lost Cordelia because of him; then Anya, especially Anya; and now the vampire was back at making himself at home where he didn't belong. In Xander's mind Spike only caused pain and suffering to the people he cared about and if he could save Buffy and Dawn from the misery he would do it.

William awoke, innocently still curled under Spike's chin, it was definitely a comfortable place and the vampire hadn't moved all night, unlike Dawn or Buffy that constantly rolled around and disturbed his sleep. The kitten yawned and was about to snuggled in deeper to return to slumber when he sensed danger. Acting purely on instinct William dug his claws into Spike's chest and hissed violently. It was enough to stall Xander and to wake Spike. The cat leapt off and Spike bolted from the couch and away from the impending staking."Bloody hell, you stupid pillock!" he shouted, taking an automatic defensive stance. Xander wagged a finger at him, his entire body shaking with anger.

"You shouldn't have come back here."

"Yeah, well, you don't get a say in my life, boy."

"But I will in your death!" With that comment spat from his lips, Xander lunged at Spike, only to be pushed back off his feet. Disorientated, but operating on a surge of adrenaline, Xander was back on his feet and coming for the vampire again. Spike danced around Xander's clumsy jabs, feeling back on his game since he couldn't remember when, suddenly enjoying the morning's spot of violence. Where Xander Harris was concerned Spike thought he'd earned it.

"You know something, whelp, I owe you a few things..."

"Shut up!"

"Because of you I decided to make some changes in my life....you helped me see it."

"I thought I told you to shut up!"

"Make me. Come on, you pathetic wanker, give me your best." Xander rushed him and pushed him hard against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and the pressed the stake to his heart, holding his arm across Spike's throat."One thing about you that I could always count on..."

"What's that?"

"If you had any brains that chunk of wood be through my heart already.....thanks for that, I love the build up...."

"Build up to what?" Spike grinned, the demon's yellow creeping into the corners of his blue eyes.

"To this." Spike's fist came between them in a rocket of an uppercut, sending Xander flying. He lay back in the living room, conscious, dazed and shaken with the realization that Spike was laughing his ass off instead of howling in pain. Thundering footsteps were heard upstairs and Spike silenced himself, Dawn and Buffy rushing down seconds later.

"What happened!?" Buffy cried, stopping at Spike and grasping his forearm, then noticing Xander still on the living room floor rubbing his jaw."Xander?"

"He tried to stake William. I stopped him," Spike offered, quite proudly. By now the kitten had returned to the battle field and Spike bent down to take the kitten in his hands."Harris was gonna stake me, love, but our fuzzball woke your dear vampire up just in time." He passed the kitten to Dawn and gave him a scruffle behind his ears in thanks.

"Does this mean I can go back to bed? Crisis averted?" Dawn asked.

"Go on, nibblet, no worries 'ere, right Xan-man?" Spike added on a smirk to his condescending tone, Dawn however was already gone.

"Spike, what happened?" Buffy asked. By now Xander was on his feet, his anger not having dissipated in the least.

"I told you, I was asleep, he tried to dust me...the kitten woke me just as the thing was coming down."

"Buffy, explain to me what's going on here," Xander demanded. She looked back and forth between the two of them and heaved a sigh.

"I so don't need this right now. Xander, I told you about all the gifts I was getting, turns out it was Spike all along."

"So, he's stalking you again, great."

"He's not stalking me....he's.....I don't know what he is, but I want him around."

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"If I am, Spike's coming along for the ride."

"What is it with you and him...after everything he's done to you....for God sake's Buffy he almost raped you...." Spike's arm vibrated under her touch, but when she looked him she knew it wasn't because he hated Xander for pointing out his failing, but instead because it evidently brought up their discussion from the night before. Spike's jaw was set again, stern and painful, he swallowed hard and his adam's apple looked like a boulder in his throat.

"Xander...that's between me and Spike and no one else..."

"He hit me! Buffy.....god, I just realized...the chip...the chip didn't stop him!"

Chapter 12

Buffy turned to Spike with the look of shock and horror he'd have expected from her being told this way, he'd hoped for a little understanding from her, especially after last night. No, she was livid, frightened, everything he didn't want her to be. He'd wanted to earn her trust and then tell her as proof of his change, now she'd only see that he'd lied to her. She'd stopped touching him, her hand had fell away and with what little hope he'd been clinging to. He looked at Xander, bruise forming on his jaw, smug satisfied look on his face. Spike huffed and looked sky ward, half hoping lightening would strike and save him the trouble.

"You ever get tired of being a total bastard Harris?" He turned to Buffy and tried to look as innocent as possible,"I was gonna tell you, love....it was on my list."

"You have a list?" she replied with disgust laced over the words.

"Yeah....roses, poetry, diamonds, dinner, heart to heart chat, snogging, kitten cuddling, tell Buffy I got the chip out.....and punch out the whelp for being a total bastard."

"Buffy.....kill him now...." Xander pleaded.

"Xander be quiet...." Buffy admonished,"Spike....get.....get out." He was expecting it, but it still hurt when it came. He picked up his coat from over the other room and slipped it on, he turned to her, making sure she'd see the hurt in his eyes and hopefully something else.

"You sure do run hot and cold, don't you? I thought your head was clear, you said it was," he spoke in calm voice,"You think kicking me out again's gonna make you happy? We know better. You have no idea how good I could be for you, not a bloody clue and you you're too much of a coward to even try.You think that last night before I left was the lowest we ever got? It's right now, Buffy. What we could be to each other...how much love we could give..." Xander snorted and stormed over to Buffy, grabbing her hand and shoving the stake into it.

"Do it now, Buff, stop this insanity now!" he urged. Spike ignored the other man and looked at Buffy, piercing her eyes with his.

"Can you see it, love? Can you see how much I love you? Can you see what I did for you?" Buffy made a face of confusion and tried to interpret what he meant. She wanted to run from him, but something in his eyes wouldn't let her look away. Something behind the blue was calling out to her to be noticed and when she finally did it she tore apart at the seams. The stake fell to the floor with a hard din. She raised her shaking hand to touch him, but could not quite bring herself to do it. Spike closed his eyes, breaking the spell that held them. He pulled the coat up tight, then walked out the front door into the rain. For a second Buffy panicked, it was the day after all, and ran after him, but stopped at the edge of the porch. There was no sunlight to burn him with, so instead she watched as his car left her driveway and raced down the street.

"Buffy?" Xander asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away and ran upstairs, leaving Xander even more bewildered. A while later Dawn found her sister curled up in a fetal little ball on her bed, clutching Mr. Gordo to her chest and sobbing. Dawn lay down next to her and wrapped her arms around her older sister, hugging her close.

"I'll be okay, Buffy," Dawn whispered.

"He's gone....." Buffy choked out,"He's gone again."

"No he isn't, he promised he'd never leave again."

"But I made him....I kicked him out...he won't come back....Xander, he...."

"Stop listening to Xander, he's just angry 'cause of what happened with Anya. Xander doesn't know Spike like we do."

"Spike said I was a coward....why can't I just make it right for once? Why can't we stop hurting each other?"

"'Cause you're both very stupid, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Buffy let out a little laugh."Spike loves you...you just have to believe in that..."

"I do...Dawn, you know what he did for me?"

"Yeah, I know....and he had to fight for it, he almost didn't make it, but he gets to keep it forever.....he never once thought about giving in.....that's how much he loves you. Don't you think it's time you showed him the same?"

"You think he'll still love me even when he finds out I'm an idiot?"

"I think he already knows....besides, he's an idiot and we still love him."

Chapter 13

Spike drove around Sunnydale with no clear sense of where he was going, he simply needed to feel the movement, if he stopped he'd probably go ballistic. Once again his well intentioned plans had blow up in his face, thanks to Xander Harris, for the most part at any rate. At least Spike had the satisfaction of having punched him out to carry him through. He wasn't morbidly upset over what happened with Buffy, he understood both her predicament and her apprehension. It still hurt a great deal, there was no getting around that. Just once he'd like for her to make it clear to someone besides Dawn that he was important. The pesky soul was telling him he needed validation, someone who understood him. As if heralded by a host of angels, he found himself just passing the Magic Box. Time to check up on Demon Girl, heaven help her if she's hooked up with the cream puff again.

He pulled the DeSoto in behind the building and took a fortifying swing of bourbon from his flask, just to take the edge off. Seeing Anya again was actually going to be a delight, he liked her, and not just because they'd shagged. That time was actually a bit of a blight on his history. Only because it had served no real purpose but for the two of them to drown their mutual sorrows. At the time they'd been okay with each other afterwards. He hoped she didn't think badly of him. On the other hand, that night had also set in motion the chain of events that lead him to who he was now. It may have taken him a little while to get used to it, but the soul felt at home now. His emotions went for a bit of a tailspin, but the thoughts he had now , the things he imagined, the calm and goodness he felt inside - he wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.

He pulled his coat up again and made a mad dash for the back entrance, trying to not get soaked again. He entered the training room, it hadn't changed in the least. Spike looked around for a time, but his attention was diverted by a long moan coming from upstairs. Spike knew that moan, he'd made her moan like that before. He perked his vampire hearing and detected the sounds from coming upstairs. He climbed the stairs carefully, waiting for it.

"Oh Rupert!!!!" she cried.

"Rupert!? Bloody hell!" Spike uttered to himself,"She's done the Scooby men! Better not have any designs on the birds....Slayer's mine!" He took the rest of the stairs two at a time, then snuck the door open and peaked around the corner to spy Anya and Giles engaging in a little pre-start of the business day activity. He crossed the floor of the store over to the counter and hopped up. Casually pulling a cigarette from inside his coat and lighting it, watching and highly amused as they basked in their afterglow."Must say, Anya, your taste in men continues to improve." The lovers shot up with a jolt, Giles frantically grabbing to pull up his pants and Anya quite casually adjusting her own, sliding her panties back up her legs."Giles you randy old dog!"

"Spike!? My god have you no decency?"Giles exclaimed.

"Very little. Neither do you, obviously."

"Respecting other people's privacy?!" the former Watcher exclaimed, nervously stuffing his shirt into his pants. Anya patted his shoulder.

"Be nice, Rupie, he paid you a compliment somewhere in there," Anya cajoled.

"You've managed to keep your tie straight, guess some things will never change, eh? Hello Anyanka, pet, you look ravishing as ever...thought I'd pop in before you opened shop, let you know I was back in town. Keeping well I see?"

"Very well, and yourself?"

"Can't complain....well, yes I can, but I won't - ran into your former earlier, he tried to stake me."

"Capital idea," said Giles. Anya gave him a scolding glare.

"Figures...want a wish?" she offered, but he knew she was only joking.

"Ta, but no thanks, love, I'm through with causing damage...I'll settle for gettin' my kicks by embarrassing the hell out of the fidgety git in the corner. So....shaggin' Giles, I always knew you two would get it on one day."

"I'm not just shagging him, Spike, I'm dating him....I've fallen in love with him."

"Have you now? Good on you."

"Have you seen Buffy?"

"I have...complicated."

"Spike...what are you doing back in Sunnydale? And when are you leaving again?" Giles inquired, finally back to his old stuffy self.

"Hate to disappoint, Rupie, but I'm here for good. Or until the Slayer stakes me, which I don't think'll occur now. Got m'self a lil' insurance on that score."

"Indeed."

"Tell me what you think? Is it my color? Fits lovely." He jumped off the counter and twirled himself around.

"What? Spike I...oh good god you have a soul....well doesn't that just take the cake?"

"Thank you! Bloody well though you'd notice....what does it take for that woman to wake the hell up to me? Sure she'll spend two hours snogging with me till my lips bleed....but suss out I'm ensouled.....nooooooooo...have to break through those barriers o' her's with a bloomin' sledgehammer. Oh yes, the chip's out."

"So that's the sort of day I'm going to have.....brilliant. Bloody hell..."

"That's my line."

"Buffy knows this?!"

"She does....but, well...I'm kinda tired of getting my heart stomped on...and I don't mind sharing that I'm a little sick of all this bloody drama....fancy a pint? I'm buying? Somewhere with atmosphere...hash smoke in the air and the Who playing in the background?"

"Spike it's not even 9am!"

"Oh go on, Rupert, you know you want to," Anya prodded.

Chapter 14

"The Sarlaak?! That's impossible, he's only a myth!" Giles protested as he sat across the table in a booth at Willy's, the only bar open at that time of the morning that had even a remote bit of what Spike was looking for, as it was the Doors were blaring in the background.

"Yeah, sure he is, I got my soul restored in Cleveland by the owner of a mystic bowling alley. I went to Sarlaak n' faced his stupid bloody trials and now I have a sodding conscience and a whole heap of hurt thanks to the Slayer."

"How on Earth did you make it through his tests, the legends speak of insurmountable challenges..."

'Cause I'm a tough son of a bitch, bloody smart one too.....wasn't too hard - except the math, bloody suck at mathematics. I did get hitched on one of the essay questions, but I bullshit m'way through it well enough."

"He made you take the SATs?" Spike rolled his eyes and took a long, healthy gulp from his beer.

"Not you gimboid. Fire and brimstone, acts of cunning, ancient puzzles and mazes, terrific beasts, philosophical debates, whole nine yards. In the end he put his hand into my chest and *boom*....chip gone, soul back. It was euphoric...hurt like a mofo. I suppose you'll want me to write out some sort of detailed report on this?"

"Would you? That would be most fascinating...." Spike gave him a look belying his last statement,"Fine, but we'll be having another discussion and I won't let you get out of it. This is....this.....do you even realize how unique you are?"

"Not that unique, mustn't forget Peaches n' all his specialness....bloody poofter....I can just see him now, he'll go into an uber-brood now that he's not the only one."

"Spike, you're the only vampire, demon, to actually seek out and earn a soul...that's remarkable. I have a new respect for you. And I always preferred you to Angel under any circumstance, bloody Irish." Spike chuckled, he'd certainly come back to a different Rupert Giles.

"I hear yah. You still hate m'guts though, right?"

"Well, of course I do, prat, you slept with Buffy." Spike smirked, Buffy had surprised him once again."She did tell me, without graphic details, of your....uh.....relationship...all of your relationship from beginning to end. She also told me of her remorse over how she'd used you, as well as how things had been left between you."

"We already talked....but then...."

"You bollocksed it up? Typical."

"Terrific, now you're takin' the mickey outta me? Someone stake me."

"I don't think Buffy would approve. Despite all odds she does seem to care for you. It's not exactly easy to love a demon, you know....give it time."

"Anya impart all the key information to you?"

"About your drunken tryst? It's in the past, for all of us. I quite taken with her you know? I never had the liberty to consider her before, then Xander of course became a total bastard....Anya and I came together shortly after what occurred with Willow, we fell in love. Quite remarkable, really. After that, going back to England was simply no longer and option." Spiked took up his glass and clinked it against Giles'.

"Here's to the future, Rupie."

"Git."

***

Buffy walked into the Magic Box with a certain amount of trepidation. There were a few customers scattered about while Anya attended to paper work. Buffy stayed near the door for a time, observing the demon in human form. Anya, or rather Anyanka, was very beautiful, it was no wonder Spike had been with her. Buffy mentally swallowed her jealousy, she knew she had no right to it. Anya and Spike had both been hurt by the ones they'd loved, they were drunk and needed someone to make them feel worthwhile, something Buffy herself understood. Nonetheless, it still hurt in the worst way, which made her need to find the vampire all the more urgent. The two women had managed to stay on good terms, though only saw each other sporadically. Usually whenever a crisis caused them to assemble for research.

Buffy inhaled a full breath and stepped down into the shop. Anya looked up from her work when she saw Buffy out of the corner of her eye."Morning!" Anya greeted cheerily, her smile putting the Slayer to instant ease.

"Hey....how's it going?"

"Very well, thank you. He's not here." Buffy was a little taken aback by the other woman's perception.

"I.....who?"

"Your face is an open book, Buffy. Spike's not here, but he was earlier. He's out with Giles telling him about how he got the chip out, got a soul, yadda, yadda, yadda. I was nice to see him, I was a bit concerned, but he looked well don't you think? Still profoundly sad, but at least he doesn't brood about it. For the record there is no residual affection, lust, nor animosity between us, we're friends. Does that about cover everything?" Buffy was dumbstruck, but after all this was Anya's usual manner and sometimes it was a relief.

"Yes, wow...um thank you? Was he really upset?"

"Crushed, I'd say, broken...just sad. I'm not surprised, vampires are highly emotional and sensitive creatures. It must be very difficult to go so long without being loved, and I don't mean sex. Vampires of master lines like Aurelians thrive on it, as well as the opposite. If they go too long without being cared for or appreciated they become wasteful pathetic creatures, might as well just stake them."

"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to lay the mother of all guilt trips on me?

"Because on rare occasions you can be rather perceptive. Us demons need to stick up for each other and I feel Spike and I have formed over getting our hearts ripped out and stomped on by core Scoobies."

"Yeah, I guess you do."

"Xander's a classic neomaxizoomdweebie, I prefer being loved by a person who's considerate, mature and appreciative of all my qualities, demon included - can you do the same for Spike?"

"I want to, if he'll give me another chance. That's why I need to find him."

"I'm sure Giles can help, once he gets back, he's very giving that way." As if on cue, the bell hanging at the entrance announced his return. He came straight towards the front counter, shaking the rain off his shoulders. He gave Anya a wink before turning his attentions to the Slayer.

"Ah, Buffy, this is fortuitous, I was going to call on you later today."

"Giles, where he is?" Buffy pleaded.

"Spike? Yes, well, after our talk..."

"He didn't leave town again did he?"

"No, dear, he was emphatic that he would remain in Sunnydale so long as he could be some modicum of use to you - on patrol, looking out for Dawn, as an informant..." Buffy stomped her foot and growled at her former Watcher.

"No emotional blackmail today please...I think Spike and I are on overload as it is." Giles actually smirked as he placed a loving hand on her shoulder.

"Buffy you'll see him again soon enough and then you both can set things to right....you're both very forgiving sort of people when comes to each other - it hasn't always been that way."

"No is hasn't...things have to be better now. How was he Giles?"

"One kind word from you and none of it will matter."

"Giles, you're giving us your consent? It sure sounds like it and that's not normal."

"Let's just say, I've earned a new perspective and appreciation for his kind."

Chapter 15

Giles settled himself in with organizing and taking stock of the new shipment of Zuni fetish figurines while Buffy and Anya commiserated in the back over coffee and muffins. He found it highly amusing that a 1000 year old vengeance demon was giving Buffy advice on love. His relationship with Anya remained private for the simple fact that they considered it something precious to hold close to their hearts. However now that Spike had discovered them it was doubtful it would remain a secret for much longer. A part of Giles was rather looking forward to the revelation, particularly where the cad Xander was concerned.

"Speak of the devil," he muttered to himself as Xander came into the store. There was a lull in the flow of customers, not doubt due to the rain and the store was presently empty. This meant whatever issue Xander was no doubt about to explode upon him could not be avoided.

"Giles! We've got big troubles!" Xander declared.

"Indeed, tear in your umbrella?"

"Vampire - a bleach blond, evil murdering rapist vampire. Spike's back."

"Shocking." Giles' sarcastic tone went totally unnoticed.

"I almost had him this morning....but, get this, the chip doesn't work anymore. We're all in danger now. If we get on this quickly we can track him down and stake him. Buffy can just think he skipped out again."

"Tell me one thing Xander, if the knowledge of it is within your grasp...do you ever tire of being such an ignorant bigot?"

"Say what?"

"There will be no staking of Spike or interfering with him in any way. Unless of course you no longer wish to have Buffy and Dawn in your life." Xander was stunned by Giles' defense of the vampire, he couldn't conceive of any one taking up for him.

"Are you nuts?! He's evil!"

"Hardly...not any longer at least. I spent the better part of the morning with him and I can assure you he's far from evil - I dare say I consider him quite responsible, remorseful, even noble."

"Noble? You're off your rocker. I think the fungus from some of your old book has invaded your brain...are you forgetting that he took advantage of Anya and tried to rape Buffy?" Giles slowly, cooly removed his glasses and started cleaning them with meticulous precision.

"Do not put names upon him - he did not take advantage of Anya, she told me in her own words what transpired; and as for Buffy she has made her feelings on the incident clear to me and I trust her to know what she wants and evidently it happens to be Spike afterall."

"This is insanity! Fine, if you won't do anything, then I will. Spike's as good as dust."

"Don't you dare, Xander!" Buffy exclaimed, she and Anya's attention being drawn out from the back room.

"Buffy? Damn...I...." She came out from the back room and over to him, keeping a slight distance, but looking him square in the eyes.

"Xander, you're one of my best friends and I care about you so much, but I don't care that you hate Spike. I'm telling you once and for all, don't ever try to kill him or you'll answer to me." Xander huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Hasn't living on the Hell Mouth all these years meant a thing? We kill vampires and we kill demons."

"Open your mouth a little wider Xander," Anya spoke up,"Maybe you can fit your other foot in there."

"An....I didn't mean..."

"Yes you did and it's wrong. You never used to be so bitter - wake up, Buffy's in love with Spike."

"Buffy? That true? Are you really in love with that monster, the one who almost violated you?"

"Xander," Buffy breathed out, this was her moment of truth and she wasn't going to fail Spike this time,"Yes, it's true, I love Spike and as soon as I find him I'm going to tell him." Xander nodded, a smug look of self righteousness almost painful to behold on his face. He backed away from them in dismay and left the magic shop with his head hung low.

Chapter 16

Buffy sighed and composed herself, she hated hurting Xander and she knew how skewed he must think her view on Spike was. But she also knew the things that complicated Spike, the shades of gray and the multi-layers. She knew both his beauty and his beast, she'd experienced both in their extremes, but something was different about Spike and it wasn't due entirely to the newly acquired soul. The dichotomy that had always been Spike's entire persona had somehow tempered itself, the yin and the yang had finally come together. And now the soul he'd fought so hard to gain had changed him the fundamental levels. She'd seen glimmers of it before he'd left, but now that he was home she felt it in her bones. Spike was a man she could and did love. Buffy turned back to Anya and Giles, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Thank you both for backing me up," she said,"I don't expect Spike and Xander to ever like each other, or even be civil...but they both are going to have to come to terms with how things need to be, I care for them both."

"I'm sorry Buffy but I don't think Xander will ever accept Spike," Giles said honestly.

"I know....and if I have to choose, it will be Spike."

"We know Buffy, once you have found the one you're meant to be with...it's just the way it has to be."

"I just wish I knew where he was...I need to find him."

"Before Xander does, that's for sure," said Anya. Buffy let the solemnity of Anya's words sink in, of course Xander was still going to go after Spike.

"Oh god...." Buffy gasped as she turned and ran out into the storm. Hours later night had fallen and Buffy had been running mad all over Sunnydale in search of both Spike and Xander. She'd been to every demon bar she ever knew Spike to haunt, she scoured over every inch of almost every cemetery, but to no avail. At length she returned to Spike's crypt, which was empty, even of her candles and books. She needed a rest, but she couldn't, any delay could cost her everything, but after so many hours the Slayer was utterly exhausted, hungry, soaked from the rain and the gnawing ache in her heart wouldn't cease. Eventually, after wandering some time in a daze, Buffy had a flash of deja vu. She was at the edge of Spike's cemetery, close to where the river ran through.This was also the exact spot where Katrina's body had been found.

A twig snapped behind her and Buffy whipped around into a fighting stance, stake ready. There was no light whatsoever, only pulsating beats of rain and the blackness. Relying solely on instinct Buffy advanced, keeping her heart rate steady, her mind focused. A substantial form was emerging from the bushes, ominous and.....

"Xander? Is that you?" Buffy asked, knowing her friend even in the middle of the all chaos. He found her slight frame, barely human in the drench. He came close and they huddled against a tree.

"Buffy.....what are you doing out here?"

"I'm looking for you.....and for Spike, I'm sorry....but I have to find him...before you do."

"I don't understand....I try Buffy, but I still don't. How can you love him?"

"I just do. You don't know everything, you don't know his heart....or his soul."

"He doesn't have a soul."

"Yes he does....he bargained his life with a demon, I don't know everything, but Spike won and was rewarded with his soul."

"This is just like Angel...he has a soul now, so all's forgiven now?"

"It's not that simple for me, you know me better than that. Spike and I have been pushing and pulling with each other for five years now, we didn't want this, we fought it every step of the way....but it's real, it might not be pretty, but it's real...I love him!"

"I can't accept it, Buffy....I just can't."

"Then, I'm sorry Xander....I can't be without Spike."

"You know what this means then right?"

"You're really going to walk out of my life? I love you Xander."

"And I love you too Buffy...but..." Suddenly a shrilling scream pierced through everything, electrifying the night. It was followed shortly after by a feral gurgling snarl. Buffy sensed where the danger was coming from and grabbed Xander's arm.

"This way...." Running down an embankment, Buffy and Xander came upon a pair of young teenagers trying to fight against a trio of black amphibious creatures at the riverside. They looked something like fish, but more like lizards, with tails and ridges down their backs like dragons. Xander picked up a hefty tree branch that had come down in the storm and joined Buffy in warding off the demons. As soon as attention was diverted from them, the young victims made their escape.

Buffy engaged the monsters with her classic barrage of kicks and punches. Meanwhile Xander cracked the makeshift club over the back of one monster's head. The thing of course became enraged and lunged for him. Buffy caught the exchange and went to help her friend. At the same time the demons seemed to have been called away from their fight and the two Buffy had been battling dove into the rive. The last demon abandoned Xander and went to follow the others. Before Buffy knew what was happening the demon had barelled over her and taken her into the river with him. As the creatures swam away with the current Buffy fought against it.

She hadn't realized that the once quiet stream at the graveyard's edge had been steadily rising as the rain fell incessantly. Now it was overflowing and perilously deep, it's current too strong for even the Slayer."BUFFY!!!" Xander screamed against the black of the night. He could barely make out where the shore was, let along find her.

"Xander, help!" she cried as she struggled to reach the water's edge. She continued to cry out and he followed the barely audible sound against the roar of the river until he could make out her shape within the rapids. He tried to wade out into the water, but was nearly swept away himself. His next idea was to retrieve the branch and use it to extend his reach.

"Buffy! Try and grab hold!" He stretched out as far as he possibly could, the muscles of his arm taut and burning from the strain.

"I can't reach!"

"Come on Buffy.....you can do it!" She got her second wing and started swimming with more purposeful strides. A few times the tips of her fingers touched the offshoots of the branch, but still she couldn't get a grip.

"Xander, please!!" She was panicking now, her own incredible strength was no match against the river's torrents and she was beyond exhausted. Making one last effort she lunged for the branch. She caught only air and then disappeared under the water.

Chapter 17

"Oh god no.......BUFFY?!!!?" Xander started to run, falling repeatedly on the muddy and unstable earth. All he could hear was the rushing of the river, the pouring rain and now thunder in the distance. He was already tiring from trying to keep pace with the river, but he wouldn't stop until he knew Buffy's fate. Suddenly he sensed someone running along side him and then they were running straight past him. He would have thought it was another of the demons if the lightning on the horizon hadn't illuminated the platinum hair

Diving into the frigid waters, Spike formed his body into a torpedo, catching up to Buffy in mere seconds as she struggled underwater against the river's flow. He jetted past her and then turned around and began to swim against the current. They collided and it shocked Buffy back to her senses. Spike had his arm around her waist and already was making for shore. Together they managed to fight the pull until Spike could find his footing. At that point he picked Buffy up out of the water and carried her in his arms. Placing her on a rock on the bank, he knelt in front of her, keeping her steady with his hands at her hips. Her savior checked her over for any signs of injury, but all things considered, the Slayer seemed undamaged. She was however heaving for breath and having a difficult time calming herself down. Eventually she could lock eyes with Spike and focused on him.

"You're alright, love, it's over," he spoke with a soothing tone,"Are you hurt? Did you swallow any of the river?" She shook her head just before she reached out and pulled him against her, holding him for all he was worth. Spike hugged her trembling body, totally and utterly relieved she hadn't drowned. He hadn't known why he'd been compelled to come to this obscure part of the cemetery in this dreadful weather, but he did now. After so long he knew with his body when Buffy was near, even when his mind didn't - however this time was different. He soul had never burned so hot in his body before until he'd heard her voice somewhere inside his head pleading for him to come to her. Even now as he held her the connection between them was like pure energy.

"BUFFY!!" Xander yelled as he finally caught up,"Are you okay?!" The spell was broken and Spike sighed against her neck, he stood up and took a step back from her.

"She's fine," Spike informed as he redundantly wiped the water off his face.

"Let's get you home then." Buffy agreed and got to her feet, reaching behind her for Spike to help balance her. Before the vampire clued in, Xander was already pulling her away.

"Hey! Steady on Harris, she's just been in the bloody river! Giver 'er half a second to recover you git! You think you need to get her outta my evil clutches for fast? I just saved her life!"

"Saved it so you can go back to stalking it is what you mean! I'm not gonna give you another chance to hurt her!"

"Hurt her? I love her...and the Slayer can take care of herself, always could."

"Look, you bastard, this should have ended when you left town. You do nothing but destroy lives......first Anya...."

"That's what this is about, should've bloody know...You threw here away, you didn't care that she still loved you after that, because it was all about YOU, Harris. We were drunk, we we're hurt and we were angry, it was past the point where you had a right to care! She and I may be the demons, but you humans pile more hurt on us then fangs or wish ever could. Grow the bloody hell up, stop being the whelp and be a man. That girl has moved on to someone else...she and Giles are pretty damn happy...."

"Giles?" Buffy gasped, suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle falling in place; but as usually the obvious went straight over Xander's head.

"Be a man? What kind of man are you? When the girl tells him it's over he stalks her and when she doesn't give in, he forces himself on her? Is that the kind of man I should be?" Xander said, twisting the dagger of guilt in Spike one more time; that was the vampire's Achilles heal. Even through the pouring rain and night sky Buffy watched Spike's body language darken and invert in on itself. He stood very still for a moment, his eyes closed, his emotions caving in on themselves. He looked up and Buffy knew instinctively that he was crying, he cried so easily now, or at least this was the first time she'd taken the care to notice.

"Maybe we all would've been better off if you'd staked me the night outside the shop...I can't take back anything that I've done. If I could maybe I wouldn't even have come to this bloody place, but I can't. I'm sorry.......sorry about everything..."

"Too little too late. You're nothing but a....."

"ENOUGH!!!" Buffy suddenly shouted,"Xander lay off! I never stopped you from hitting him....but I can stop you from putting him down like this. If you ever want to have anything to do with me and Dawn you have back off Spike...ignore him if it makes it easier, but don't hurt him, it hurts me too much and I can't have that anymore."

"Buffy...." Xander knew that everything had just come to head between him and his friend, he didn't gave time to weigh the options, he'd have to go with instinct this time.

"Make a choice, Xander." She took his look of resignation as answer,"Please go to my house and tell Dawn we'll be home soon, okay? Wait with her?" He nodded.

"What are you gonna...." His words lost momentum as Buffy whipped around and grabbed Spike by his belt, yanked him to her and crushed their lips together. She held him tighter than ever before, willing her love into him over the lock of their lips. He almost resisted, the sting of Xander's words still holding him, but soon her warmth and her tenderness overcame it and he returned the embrace. For a brief while he'd let himself pretend that they had a chance.

Chapter 18

He rushed ahead to open the car door for her, just in time as a matter of fact as she dove straight into the back seat. He got in after her and slammed the door shut, maneuvering in behind the stearing wheel and putting the key in the ignition."Spike, wait..." she spoke up,"Come into the back..."

"Buffy...."

"Don't argue with me, please come back here with me."

"Fine, pet, but if the car starts floating away, it'll be your fault." He sort of fell over the front seat into the back, half landing on the seat next to Buffy, and part on the floor."Sorry, m' a bit awkward sometimes. Kinda hard to be stealthy when one's clothes are all wet. Least I had the good sense to leave m'coat in the car." Buffy laughed and pushed her hair off her face, wringing it out and letting the water drip on to the floor as Spike gathered himself up on to the seat with her. She sighed and slumped into the seat, looking out the windshield at the rain dropping in buckets while lightened flashed in the distance and thunder rumbled in the deep places. They were closed off in their own little world, the black interior of the car giving the semblance of a cave. The rain made a hard symphony on the roof, beating the metal like a drum in some ancient rite. They could see each other only in silouttes, a slight sheen of water illuminated their features when the light flashed."Buffy? What it is, pet?" He reached out in the darkness and took her hand, it was cold to the touch,"We should get you home, can't have you catchin' your death of cold here. Being in that river could give you pneumonia."

"I hear that being held helps." She moved in closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist and laying her head to his chest.

"You're all wet, love...river n' rain's soaked you through."

"You too. I wonder if we're the only two people in the world?"

"Certainly the only two dumb enough to still be out in the rain, pet."

"There's no one for miles and miles, no one to interrupt us." Before he had a chance to voice any opinion on the matter she'd moved over to him. Her breasts were pressed to his face, the hard peebles to her nipples against his neck while her hands cradled his head to them. She pressed a kiss to his forhead and moved over until she was straddling him. Compared to the coldness her dip in the river had brought to her, his lips on the skin of her chest were warm. All of a sudden he stopped, eyes shut tight, a dull cry rumbling deep in his throat. He moved her off him and receded into the corner."Spike? What's wrong?"

"I can't.....I'm sorry." She let him keep the comfort of only two feet between them and watched in confusion as his palms rubbed at his face and he was perceivably trembling.

"Tell, me what's wrong....I thought you'd want us to be together."

"I do, Buffy, so much, maybe too much. But this isn't taking things slow like you wanted, I...I can't be taking advantage."

"Spike, you won't be...I've missed you."

"How can you possibly want to be with me again? I don't understand it. For 147 days last summer I held you beautiful in my heart and mind, I kept seeing images of us laughing, 'cause we did sometimes, you know. That one kiss you let us have after Glory'd pounded the tar outta me...and that last night with you atop the stairs. This summer, for another 147 days I heard screams of pain and fright, a hurt and a scared girl under me while I ignored her pleas and I hurt her....you're breathtaking and wonderful and I love you...but I can't get your crying out of my mind, can't move bruises on your skin and looks of digust out from in front of my eyes. I want you Buffy more than I have a right to, but I don't think I can....you understand? Kissing and havin' fun on your couch was one thing, I knew it wasn't going any further....but now...how can make love to you? I'm just gonna remember again, every night...every night I see the monster trying to violate you....and it's me!" He looked away from her and his silouette against the window broke her heart, he felt so alone and so unworthy. She thought they'd come to an understanding, a place where all was forgiven and they could go forward, but obviously the the roots of Spike's guilt ran even deeper than she'd thought.

She unbuttoned her blouse slowly, peeling the wet garment from her skin and laying it over the front seat. Next she took off her bra and put it with her shirt. She secured her wet hair behind her shoulder before moving next to him. Her fingers curled around one had and then drew it against her chest, placing his palm over a breast and holding it in place. His hand was cold and refused to move or caress."Spike, look at me." He continued to stare out at the rain, but he seemed to grow even more introverted as if trying to will himself out of his body so he wouldn't be forced to deal with the situation. With her other hand she reached over and grasped his chin, making him look at her."Spike, you have to try and let it go. I'm not scared right now, I'm not upset, I'm not crying....I want you to touch me, I want you to love like I know you want to, with tenderness, and sweetness, like I'm precious to you. I know you can, you have before, you don't have to be afraid."

"But I am, love....you might have forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself." She let his hand go and it fell into her lap, and he looked away again. She moved to him again, pressing their torsos together and wrapping her hands around his neck, cradling his head against her shoulder. His arms moved around her waist and he hugged her back. Buffy felt the coolness of his fresh tears running down her arm and she squeezed him tighter."I'm sorry."

"I know, William. We'll be okay, you'll see."

"Buffy?" he urged after a time, when he was calm and himself again.

"Mmm hmmm?"

"I think the river's rising, a trout just buzzed by the window." The soft peel of her laughter that rolled out from her was practically musical.

"I guess we should be getting back, huh?"

"I'm sure the bloody search party's already been assembled, complete with requisite stakes, crossbows, pencils and anything else the whelp can use to kill me."

"He'll have to come through me, there will be no wood of any kind of coming near my vampire! Well, except one kind..."

"Count on it....when the time's right."

***

"How long can it possibly keep raining!?" Buffy asked rhetorically. Spike pulled the DeSoto into the driveway of the Revello Drive home and sighed, looking out at he water coming down, the look on his face echoing Buffy's displeasure.

"I was in the Highlands once, rained for 14 straight, though not as hard as this. If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the bloody second coming!"

"Quiet! Don't tempt fate...it's not another apocalypse!" He got out of the car and came around to her side, holding his duster over his head to shield them from the storm. They ran for the front door and slammed it behind them, the action was becoming the norm for entering the Summers home. Spike brushed the excess water from the coat's leather before hanging it up as Buffy wringing the water from her hair yet again.

"Dawn?" Buffy called,"We're home!"

"Right here," Dawn answered to Buffy's left. The Slayer and vampire turned to see not only Dawn in the living room, but also Giles, Anya, and even Xander and Willow.

"Hey, what's going on?" Buffy gave Spike a confused, apprehensive look as he stood at her side. Giles looked up from his cup of tea, classically pessimistic.

"Apocalypse," he answered.

Chapter 19

Buffy slapped Spike across his stomach,"I told you not to say it!"

"Yeah, like I have the power."

"It was a jinx! You said it!"

"If you two would kindly stop bickering, there is a more pressing matter at hand....end of the world!" Giles stated, Anya taking his hand in her's to offer encouragement and Xander looking away from it."Sit down and I'll explain." They complied, sitting together on the couch next to Dawn as well as Willow to whom Spike acknowledged with a nod. The red headed witch gave him a slight smile, knowing full well that a change had come over Buffy now that he had returned."Now perhaps you've all noticed something unusual about the rain?"

"Yeah, like it won't bloody stop!" Spike interjected.

"Besides that, it's salt water that's falling from the sky, not fresh which is the norm of course."

"That explains it!" Buffy blurted out,"Spike, you tasted salty." The vampire raised an eyebrow and the Slayer then noticed the looks she was getting from the others,"When I kissed him...on the lips....geez, climb outta the gutter!"

"Right, as I was saying....the vegetation has begun to suffer, wildlife also."

"Oh! And froggy fish monsters!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Earlier, Xander and I saved a couple of girls from these amphibious things. Might have been the Sunnydale swim team, hard to say, I was drowning at the time."

"Again?"

"I'm trying to break the habit, honest."

"I made the comment to Anya that at the rate the water was falling it would be a wonder if California didn't get swallowed up like Atlantis."

"And then I told him what actually happened to Atlantis," Anya continued,"I used to date Poseidon, Greek God of the Ocean, and he loved to tell stories....long long time ago he was called by Zeus to unleash the Kraken to destroy Atlantis. After it was done the big guy was imprisoned, Zeus had Freudian issues with anyone bigger than him. But it all started with rain just like this."

"Therefore I deduced that this might be occurring here in Sunnydale."

"So a bunch a ancient Greek Gods are trying to kill us?" Buffy asked,"Man....so what if I can't make a decent souvlaki, I try..."

"It's not Zeus or Poseidon, they've retired to Mount Olympus with all the others," Anya provided.

"I'm afraid it's far more serious, grave," Giles picked up,"I consulted a number of books and records in both City Hall and the Centennial Museum, and I ran across a bit of a summation of previous Hell Mouth activities related to water. Very nonspecific, but gave a few clues - salt water rain, amphibious demons, fresh water becoming salted, sea creatures invading the land, so on and so forth....it was all in preparation for the Kraken to escaped from a second Hell Mouth...somehow the crisis was averted and the fissure was sealed, a lake arose over it apparently."

"A Kraken?" Spike scoffed,"A bloody Kraken? Don't suppose you've got a Gorgon's head laying around the magic shop?"

"'Fraid not."

"Hey I know this one! Clash of the Titans, right?! With that dude from LA Law!" Xander interrupted needlessly.

"Try Perseus and Andromeda, you nit, did you learn nothing in school besides how to be a loser?" Spike huffed.

"Yeah, well what the American Education System failed to teach me I learned form pulp culture!"

"If we could return our focus to the impending destruction of all we hold dear," Giles persisted,"Spike you're not too far off the mark...I believe the myth's way to be our best option, the only sure way to defeat a Kraken will likely be to turn it to stone with the eyes of the Gorgon."

"Can't we just fight it?" Buffy asked,"We took on the Mayor and he was as big as the school."

"The Kraken's the size of the Empire States building," Anya supplied casually.

"Oh."

"Where pray tell us Watcher where are we going to find ourselves a Gorgon?" Spike inquired with a bit a acid on his tongue, the incredibility of the situation irking him.

"Oh, the usual place, Isle of the Dead, one the edge of Hades, Aegean Sea. Easy to get to via portals...Anya can open one, or I could with the same method I did when I first came back."

"Of course the Gorgon's not going to just give us her head."

"'Course not. Spike, you'll have to use some of the things you learned with Sarlaak, fighting a Gorgon is a monumental battle, perilous. But, old man, I dare say I believe if anyone can do it, it's you."

"Thanks mate, went ought I to start?"

"WOAH! Time out!" Buffy suddenly spoke up,"No one's sending my boyfriend off on some perilous quest! Nuh-uh, no way, no how."

"Buffy, love, I'm the only one that stands a chance - you remember the old myths? Medusa, snake bottome half, woman up top, snakes in her hair, turn anything living to stone with one look in her eye....I'm dead...." Spike reasoned.

"But you have your soul now...."

"True...but, I don't think...."

"You're not sure...that's what you're saying? I just got you back..." Maybe it was just pre-Apocalypse stress getting to her, but she was all of a sudden crying.

"My poor girl." He caressed her face and she leaned into the palm of his hand, the looks between them sweeter than a summer peach. Xander had to look away, Willow patting his knee and giving him a sympathetic look. Giles, Anya and Dawn all simply smiled at each other.

"I'm coming with you...don't even try to argue." In .06 seconds she'd gone from jellyfish to electric eel, the look on her face would turn the Kraken to stone all by itself, Gorgon head no longer needed.

"Fine, but I'm blindfolding you....don't fancy a statue for a girlfriend. On the other hand you'd go with the crypt's decor."

Chapter 20

In preparation for their travelling to an obscure island in the middle of the Aegean Sea, Spike and Buffy each indulged in a hearty meal. Giles having brought fresh blood with him for Spike and Buffy loading herself full of carbs in the form of a massive amount of spaghetti. Each changed clothes into something a little more appropriate for battling gorgons. That of course meant that Spike had to venture outside again in order to retrieve clothes from the trunk of the car, mumbling something to himself about never thinking he'd ever miss the sunshine. Once they were ready, Giles passed Spike an ax and Buffy a sword from her weapons chest, the necessities for killing a gorgon. He also provided them with a black leather sack for keeping the head in once it had been cut off the creature's shoulders.

Giles chanted a few words, conducted a little ethereal energy, then after a few seconds the air began to spark and a rift was torn through space and time right there in the Summers' living room.

"Slight problem, Rupes," Spike commented as everyone stared in wonderment through the portal.

"Shouldn't be...just step on through like you would a door," Giles replied.

"Oh absolutely....into broad bloody daylight!!"

"Right...um....well, Greece is 10 hours ahead of us....it's just a little after dawn. Oh.....oh look, off there to the left, at the end of the beach, looks like a cave, you can run to it quick enough, blanket over you."

"Gee, thanks." Buffy was at Spike's side, handing him the length of fabric he'd been carrying around for as long as she could remember.

"Here, take this, it's not the actual pendant, but the chant's on the back for when you want to return," Anya instructed as she clasped the ornament around Buffy's neck. The Slayer took hold of the vampire's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Spike," Giles spoke again. The vampire turned to him and plucked the coin from the air the other man tossed him. Spike gave a wink and a nod, understanding the importance of the gesture.

"Ready Randy?" she asked with a sly smile.

"Ready Joan." With that they took a head start and ran to the other side. The rift sealed and the residence was returned to normal.

"That's so unfair," Dawn complained,"We're stuck in SunnyHell with the yucky rain and impending apocalypse and they get to go to a nice sunny beach in Greece!"

"I'm sure we're all in envy, but there's important work to be done here. Willow and Xander, you'll be working together, I'll be with Anya - we need to find the location of this second Hellmouth before it's time for Spike and Buffy to return...Dawn....you'll..."

"I know, I know...stay inside, lock the doors....." Dawn groaned.

"No, I'll take you to the Magic Box, there's several volumes relating to aquarian demons, water related apocalyptica and so forth. I'm relying on you to accumulate as much information as you possibly can on the Kraken, his minions and anything else that we might be coming up against." Dawn have a sort of 'eep' sound of surprise, pride and confidence swelling inside her.

"I won't let you down....if Buffy can be the Slayer at 16, I can handle the research!"

***

Spike was a good ten strides ahead of Buffy, due to the instinct of self preservation as well as the fact that she now carried both the sword and the ax The Grecian morning sun was hot and glorious, but Spike's eyes were on the nearing refuge of the cave. He had begun to smoke, his skin was smoldering, any second now he'd start to burn. The soft sand made it impossible to run at his top speed and if he tripped he'd be toast, well, ash actually. The cave mouth wasn't too large, only as wide and tall as a door, but it would do just fine with the sun as his other option. Darting around the gathering of rocks and the shoreline that crept in close to the opening, Spike trudged through ankle deep water until he finally ducked into the cave.

He breathed a sigh of relief and began patting down the hot spots, ever thankful for his beloved duster. Nothing beat leather for keeping death off when the sunshine was chasing you. Moments later Buffy followed him, dropping the weapons on a patch of dry sand and coming into the deeper part of the cavern where Spike was."Oh! Are you okay?" she asked, concerned for his well being, joining him in puffing out the smoke atop his head of blond curls,"You think Giles could've just opened his portal right here!"

"S'alright, love, no harm done...not even sizzlin'."

"Still...having a combustible boyfriend, so not good for the nerves." He raised an eyebrow in slight intrigue, eyeing her closely. She smiled at him, not quite comprehending the reason for his scrutiny,"What? Spike?"

"That's the second time you've called me your boyfriend, love." Her smiled broadened and she laughed softly.

"It's true isn't it?"

"If you say so....I'm just grateful....well, for anything I get from you." He sat himself awkwardly on a boulder, looking out at the new day. Buffy looked past him and wondered how deep the cavern was, little light let her see anything besides more sand and stone. The chamber they were in had a fairly tall ceiling, stalactites that were rounded and short, and an expanse that was probably no larger than her house. Still it was a nice enough place to spend the day together. She sat herself a little higher up and more securely on the same rock as Spike, leaning her back against his.

"And I'm just grateful you came back...if things had stayed unresolved like they were I think I would've had this sad emptiness inside for the rest of my life. We've come full circle....finally. Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, pet, anything at all."

"How did...how does.....how do you know...the soul?"

"You mean what's it like to go from having no soul, to suddenly having it back? Bloody strange....it's like...mmm....say it's like a glass of vodka, half full, then someone pours in the juice and little tropical umbrella and suddenly you have a cocktail. Sometimes the straight vodka's alright, for some....but you've always struck me as the kind of girl that rather a cocktail."

"That's....okay....the weirdest analogy I've ever heard, but, I get it. Sometimes I liked the vodka, but, you're right, I wanted a cocktail."

"It's been hard to adjust, it's hard to accept. I am a very different man, deep inside. I never bothered to think about people outside my sphere, which was you, the bit, and the Scoobies; now I see them and wonder. Wonder what they'd think of me....I don't know why I care. I care, that's bloody strange. I don't even want to kill 'em. When I want blood, they're not really food anymore. I don't even really want to kill Xander....beat him up, sure, but not kill. Having a soul doesn't make a person good or evil, I realized that most of all, but it does give you a conscience.....I never knew I didn't have one until it started speaking to me. It tells me that I could never hurt an innocent, tells me that I save them before I save myself, it tells me that I'd never violate a woman like I tried to with you.....and it tells me that I needed you to forgive me so that I could feel peace."

"I have, don't forget that....have you found peace?"

"Almost."

Chapter 21

"What's left that you need?" Buffy continued to prod, turning around behind him to slide down against his back. Her legs hung off the side of the rock on either side of his hips, her holding securely to his arms and her chin on his shoulder, voice in his ear."Hmmm?"

"Doesn't matter, love, I've already been given more than my fair share, I'm pretty much the happiest I've ever been right now. Nice spot, innit?"

"No rain, beautiful beach, even more beautiful ocean. The sun's probably really hot and the water cold.....and it's Greece! I've never even been out of California, you know that?"

"Why don't you go on out then, take dip...have yourself a frolic in the surf? I can watch you from here and there's no one around, the island is deserted....being on the edge of Hades n' all....and beasties don't come out in the day I should think."

"Nah....it's okay."

"Buffy, sweet pet, go have yourself some fun in the sun and don't mind the vampire, he's not brooding...he'd like to see you shining in the water."

"You sure?"

"Quite sure...." She gave a squeal of delight and kissed his cheek before leaping off the rock and starting to strip her clothes off,"What are you doing?"

"I'm not swimming in my clothes silly."

"No....'course not.....I just......um....." His words fell away as soon as he saw her in her underwear, a keen desire stirring in the pit of his stomach. Then he was undone when she popped off her bra and shimmied out of her panties, leaving her clothes in a pile on the sand with her shoes and running gaily out into the ocean. She skipped through the tide pools as innocently and joyously as a toddler before hitting a deep spot and diving under. Spike came to the threshold of the entrance and waited for her to resurface. When she did he calmed and took pleasure in watching her have fun, she really was an entirely different Buffy Summers. This girl was free and unencumbered, this girl had gone through a gauntlet of darkness and come out into the light...where he knew he couldn't follow. That was something he could live with because, as she did an hour later, come back into the darkness to be with him. Buffy traipsed back into the cave smiling as brightly as the sun on the waves, naked body shimmering as if covered with diamonds instead of beads of water. Spike shirked out of his duster and brought it around her shoulders, wrapping it around her to obscure her nudity.

"Have a nice time, love?" he asked, stepping back from her and making his way to the rock he'd sat on originally.

"The best! It almost makes this whole gorgon decapitating thing okay. I could've stayed out there all day."

"Then you should, you deserve it, we've still got hours to go before sunset."

"And you'll just stand in the shadows and watch me, all forlorn and tragic?" She moved over to him and stood between his legs, leaning against the rock face. He reached out and curled wet strands of her hair behind her ears, mesmerized by her angelic face and the bronze of her skin with the tan she'd acquired during her swim.

"I could watch you forever....god, you're so beautiful, so fine."

"You're a handsome man yourself." Buffy let the duster slip off her shoulders, exposing her bare breasts, with their nipples, and the areola crinkled from both the cool air of the cave on her skin and her emerging arousal. He brushed the backs of his fingers across them, sucking in a breath and closing his eyes,"Don't stop." It seemed her words were a wake up call and he did just what she asked him not to. He made a fist and recoiled, with that action she let the heavy leather coat fall straight to the ground."What are you afraid of?"

"Myself, pet....I don't know what to do with you...I'm afraid of frightening you again....of hurting you."

"You wouldn't do that, not again, I trust you...you believe that, don't you?"

"I'm trying...."

"Try again...touch me." She helped him on by taking his fist and pulling the fingers apart and then drawing the hand down to the patch of soft curls between her legs. Moving her legs apart, she pulled his hand lower until she could hold it between the apex. He cupped pure heat, her desire for him manifesting itself in silky moisture. He stroked a finger along the slit, the heady scent of the woman assaulting his nostrils and making his head swim."Spike..."

"Tell me you want me..."

"I do...." His hand moved away and he grasped her hips, moving himself away from the rock and picking up his coat. He laid it over the stone surface and lifted her up, then encouraged her to lay back. He stepped in front of her and lay his face down against the flat of her stomach, his hands back on her hips. He let himself linger there for a long while, making himself breathe steadily, in and out, just savoring her skin in every tangible way. Her fingers ran through his hair and caressed his cheek. After a time he began to speckle her torso with chaste little kisses, moving ever so slowly downwards. She eagerly parted her thighs, finding nooks in the boulder to rest her heals in.

He was being remarkably gentle, she remembered with fondness other times like this, but now she felt reverence for their pleasing of each other. This time was sanctifying, and this time she loved him. He nuzzled into the warm gathering of curls, breathing against them and making them flutter like a field of wildflowers in a breeze. She gasped when the coolness came in contact with the wetness that trickled out from between the swollen lips of her sex. Spike pressed his mouth to her, eliciting a moan from her. His tongue darted out to gathering of the stream of her fluids, making her shiver. Every action had its reaction.

No fingers, no hands, just tongue, he pushed inside, moving in deep, then coming out and gliding to her clitoris. He curled and pressed against the sensitive nubbin until he felt it actually pulse, the epicenter for her pleasure. By now Buffy had begun to gasp and moan, gripping hard to the leather of his coat. Spike plunged back into her channel, thrusting and twisting as he supped on her juices. He became increasingly aggressive, giving her a hard, wet French kiss that sent her into a spiral of ecstasy. Her legs started to shake violently and her heels beat against the rock surface, but Spike was unrelenting, intent on giving her the defining orgasm of her life.

Her inner muscles started to quiver in precursor to the climax and at the point, Spike clamped his over the entire area and sucked hard. She screamed loud enough for it to echo throughout the the entire cave. Her orgasm and the pulsing of her body rolled on and on for staggering lengths of time. It took a long time for Buffy to recover, only when she went limp and splayed out over the rock did Spike release her. He trailed languid kisses over her hip bone, across her ribs, lingering on a plump breast and eventually resting against her collar bone.

"I do alright by you love?"

"Phenomenal! Oh god, I don't think it's ever been that good....you're a talented man, no doubt about it....oh wow....wow..."

"It was an honor, my sweet." She slipped away from him, taking to her feet, but she came back around and pushed him back instead. She admired the substantial bulge of his restrained erection before dropping to her knees in front of him. He caught her hands as they reached for his belt buckle, shaking his head,"No."

"But Spike...."

"No, you don't have to....I won't make you....I mean, I don't expect you to.....just.....I'll keep my edge for the fight..." She stood up and faced him, hands placed defiantly on her hips.

"Is this the soul talking?"

"Huh? What? No.....no, love..."

"Spike, since when do you not want me to?" He gave her a sad, meek little look that spoke volumes."Oh." She rested her hands on his shoulders."Baby, we're okay, I promise...and I want to, you remember I used to love it, pretty sure I still do. Remember? Hey that's cheating!?" He brightened at the memory, one of the least angst ridden times they'd ever been together, and considering all that had occurred that day, it wasn't saying much, maybe this time would be nicer. She leaned in and gave him a firm kiss,"Hold on, lover....expect fireworks...."

Chapter 22

Buffy tucked him back into his pants, hands still caressing and massaging the length of his now soft member. She zipped up the jeans and fastened the buckle of his belt with a smile telling of a certain amount of self-satisfaction. They'd successfully overcome one hurdle in their new relationship. Being intimate with him was something she'd been dreaming about all summer and now it was finally a reality, save for actually making love. She'd save that for when there was a bed. Spike, coming back to his senses, cupped her face in his hands and drew her lips to his for a scorching kiss. Their mouth tasted of each other, both remembering the first few weeks of their previous liaison, when she'd tried everything she never felt she could before, especially with Riley.

"There, now that wasn't so bad was it? I think I'm over the taking it slow idea...it was a dumb one anyways." She asked with an amused tone. He pressed their foreheads together and kneaded the muscles at the back of her neck.

"Bloody amazing," he whispered in reply as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her close,"I love you, Buffy...I love you with all my heart and soul."

"I love you too." He abruptly pulled her back, staring into her tawny colored eyes in shock and disbelief.

"Buffy?" She smiled again at him, absolutely enamored with his look of utter awe.

"I love you, Spike."

"You love me?"

"I love you, I do, absolutely, I've been waiting for the right time to tell and you know how impatient I am."

"You asked me what I needed to find peace - that was it. To know the woman I love loves me too...I've been waiting for this m'whole bloody unlife!"

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long, I couldn't tell you before you left...I don't know if I loved you that night when you begged me to admit it."

"I shot it all to hell....I thought I'd destroyed everything."

"If I hadn't stopped you....if you'd succeeded in...."

"Please don't say it....I can't bear to hear the word again."

"We wouldn't have been able to come back from that."

"I would've let you kill me.....or begged you to it....or done it myself."

"But things happened differently and now we're here on an island in Greece and we've just given each other wonderful orgasms and said our I loves yous."

"May I hold you? You've never let me hold you before. The sun'll set eventually, we can watch it together."

"You can hold me forever, just promise not to let go?"

"I'm never letting you go again." Buffy dressed herself and lay the blanket down for them. Spike shrugged into his coat and sat down with his back against the boulder. Buffy eased down in between his legs and settled herself against him. Arms encircling and locking around her waist, Spike rested his cheek against her's and relaxed completely for the first time he could ever remember."Tell me again, pet."

"I love you."

***

As dusk settled over the Mediterranean, their interlude came to an end. Reluctantly and with a pouty grumble from Buffy, Spike released her from his arms and made them get to their feet. He retrieved the weapons that they'd abandoned all day and he handed her sword to her."This sucks," Buffy complained with a serious frown. Spike closed in and nuzzled her neck and kissed the spot behind her ear.

"It's got to be done, love, be grateful for the day we've had, best I've had in 54021, give or take."

"That's how many days you've lived?" He nodded and leaned back in to kiss her temple.

"And I plan on spending all the rest of them with you, love."

"I haven't told you in a couple of hours, I love you."

"I love you, my beautiful Slayer. I can never say it enough...can never let you forget."

"I'm not gonna forget...it's been how many years? I'm branded and thoroughly Spikefied, claimed and totally with the mutuals. Isn't it great?!! We love each other, everything else is pie."

"Like decapitating gorgons."

"There yah go....pie....probably not very good pie though."

"Agreed....so then...shall we?" Like a gentleman he offered her his arm and she accepted. They gave a fond look over their shoulders at their cave and walked out under the glimmer of star light.

"I love you, Spike."

"I know....I love you too."

"I really really love you."

"And I really really love you too, pet."

"We've gonna be together forever."

"Ever and ever.....absolutely."

"I love you."

"We still have to do this, sweetheart, and let's not forget that you are the one who insisted on coming along."

"Phooey."

"I love you too, Buffy."

Chapter 23

"So where do we find this chick?" Buffy asked.

"On the Isle of the Dead, as Giles told us," Spike ruminated.

"This isn't the Isle of the Dead?"

"No, sweets, this Isle of the Dead doesn't exist on this plain...we have to take a ferry to it. This is just he starting point." Spike led them to the edge of the rock formations in front of the cave, there a wooden pillar Buffy hadn't noticed before was embedded in the sand. From it hung a horn, made from some unknown beast. Spike took it to his lips and blew hard, the deep resonating sound dominating over the crash of the surf.

A mist began to creep in behind, while another rolled in with the waves all around them, cold and biting to their skin. Soon enough neither could see beyond the tips of their noses. The mist was thick and evoking of claustrophobia. Buffy held on to Spike a little tighter when the sound of something wading over the water became audible. Emerging slowly from the preternatural fog was a tall, teetering figure cloaked entirely in black. It was punting along in a rickety carved out boat.

"It's Charron, the ferryman - he gives trespass to should into both Hades and the Elysium fields - Heaven and Hell....we're getting off just before that," Spike explained. Charron stopped his transport a fair way's off shore and Spike led them into the ocean. Buffy stifled a slight cry when the ferryman held out a skeletal hand to them. The vampire placed the gold coin Giles had given him in Charron's hand and the bones curled around the fare. He stepped aside for his passengers to embark. Spike lifted the Slayer by her hips and into the boat and in turn she gave him a hand up. The boat floated away as if a feather caught in the wind, away from the shore, so they passed from one realm into another.

"I don't mind telling you I'm totally wigged out here, Spike."

"No worries, love, we'll take care of each other, but when I tell you to do something, do it, no arguments...this is too important."

"I get it, no problem....you be careful too though." The passing of time had become imperceptible and it wasn't until the boat ran aground that they even knew the crossing had occurred. Buffy hopped into the sand, Spike following, gripping his ax tighter. Charron was already gone when Buffy noticed,"Hey, our ride!"

"No, pet....he only brings 'em here, he doesn't take 'em back...still got Anyanka's pendant?"

"Yeah....still around my neck, right with the one you gave me."

"That's our only ticket home.....and it makes me very happy to see you still wearing my gift." He laced their fingers together and held on tight,"Let's get on with it then, shall we?"

***

Xander pulled his car up to a campsite near Watamo Lake, situated on the outskirts of Sunnydale. The surrounding forest looked blacker than ever, and as expected the place was absolutely deserted. He turned off the ignition and huffed out a breath. He'd barely spoken as he and Willow had gone from lakeside to lakeside around the Sunnydale area, looking for the second Hell Mouth."I just don't get it, Will," he finally spoke,"He's evil..." Willow smiled inwardly, Xander was like a dog with a bone and refused to let go of the actuality of Spike and Buffy's relationship. The fact that Anya and Giles were together didn't ruffle any feathers spoke volumes.

"Not so much," Willow replied casually.

"After all he's done to us....to Buffy, I don't understand how she can even tolerate him, let alone have him touch her!"

"It's about forgiveness. She repeated to me something Giles told her once - forgiveness is an act of compassion, it's not given because someone deserves it, it's because they need it. But in Spike's case she believes he deserved it. Tara forgave me because she loved me and I needed it, it's the same with Spike and Buffy."

"That's different, you didn't mean to hurt Tara...and it was just a little memory erasing..."

"It was just as bad, different, but no less wrong. Buffy really loves Spike, and he loves her."

"Yeah....I just never thought Buffy would play the whole Luke n' Laura thing."

"You're making a bigger deal of this than she did.....remember she took Dawn to his crypt the next day to keep her out of harm's way, what does that tell you?"

"That's she certifiable."

"Or maybe she accepted that what happened wasn't exclusively his fault....she'd done some pretty horrific things to him before that night, some pretty unforgivable things that he just brushed off for her sake. I think they're made for each other...sure there's bad stuff, but the good stuff is extra super good."

"And where does that leave us? She chooses the evil undead over her best friends! There's something really wrong in that....I mean, what do I have left? Anya's moved on, Buffy's moving away from me, Dawn's practically Spike's kid sister......what do I have left?" Willow sighed and wondered if Giles and Spike were right about the thickness of Xander's skull.

"You have me." Xander stopped the second leg of his tirade and gave the young witch a discerning look."I've always loved you Xander."

"But Willow, you're gay!"

"Still am, not that kinda love, silly...best friends, forever, remember? Tell you what, despite my buttering my bread on the other side, we make a deal, if we're not married by the time we're 35, we marry each other. Sound good?" He softened, she was right, he wasn't alone, not really.

"You've got a deal."

"Good, except there's a condition to our engagement...let Buffy be happy, she loves him and if she's forced to make a choice, it'll be him.....okay?"

"Okay, Wills..." Willow nodded and gave him a sincere smile.

"So, we've got one more place on the list to check."

Chapter 24

Xander and Willow stood out in the rain, looking out over the lake, holding on to each other for warmth and comfort. The car was a few feet behind them, it's headlights shining out from behind where the pair stood. As if a streak of light had been painted into the water, dissecting the lake, they beheld the broken seal between Hell and Earth,"Xander?" Willow squeaked. He looked at her, then back out to the water, virtually boiling and showing all its portents.

"This is bad.....this is...god.....we're all going to die..."

***

Dawn scribbled furious notes in her binder, taking down anything she thought was remotely pertinent to the assignment Giles had given her. She was taking the work very seriously, being sure to read carefully and go back over anything she didn't understand until she was clear on the meanings. She was hindered only by William persistently attacking her pen when it slid across the paper. She gently shooed the kitten away and he occupied himself with attacking the strap of her purse.

"You're such a sweetie pie, aren't you William?" Dawn said to the cat as she wiggled her finger on the table in front of him. William dove for the thing and sunk his needle teeth in,"Ow! Beast...how much time have you spent with Spike?" She took the fuzz ball of fury in her hands and kissed him on the nose. He tried to bite her again and she burst into a fit of giggles. From behind her came a strange indistinguishable sound, almost like a glob of mud being emptied on the ground. She stopped her toying with William and jumped to her feet, turning around to find the Magic Box the same as ever. Keeping the kitten close, the young girl scurried around the shop turning on every light and lamp she could find. The kitten rubbed his pointed face against her chest, reminding her that it was likely just her imagination getting the better of her. After all she was alone in the Magic Box, a place notorious for pre-apocalyptic disasters; there was one going on outside, it was night, it was raining heavier than ever and she was alone. William began purring and snuggling in close and instantly Dawn felt at ease again.

She sat back down to the volume of Hardigan's Tome of South Pacific Demons and Water Fae, she flipped the page and scrunched her face at the picture of a Isosillica Depth Trudger. It was similar to a giant globule, a clear watery sac around a series of organs. Apparently it took victims by swallowing them whole and digesting them in the lower portion of the blob.....which is exactly what it was about to do to Dawn.

William let out a piercing shrill of a meow, lept from Dawn and ran hell bent under a book shelf. Dawn dove away just it's expansive mouth was about to consume her. She screamed blue murder and rushed behind the counter. The demon turned to go after her, and the teenager began to throw anything she could get her hands on; urns, crystals, coffee mugs, books. The objects became suspended in it's shapeless form, but it still kept coming. Using her instincts and wits, Dawn frantically searched for something to stop the demon. She unintentionally grabbed the bottle of Remy Martin cognac Giles kept behind the counter, it was then that the idea came to her. Buffy probably wouldn't approve of last summer's lesson Spike had given her in right proper riot inciting, but it might just do the trick. She dowsed Anya's dust rag in the liquor then stuffed some of it down the neck of the bottle. Grabbing the set of matches from the utility drawer and striking it across the accelerator, she lit the rag. Once the flame took she stood up and aimed for the creature's mouth. Unaware, the monster swallowed it, just before it exploded and blew him apart. Dawn shrieked and hid herself again as gobs of water landed all over the floor. Score one for Dawn Summers and the art of the Molotov Cocktail; bonus points to vampire who taught her how.

***

"Ever get that sneaking feeling you're being watched?" Buffy asked as she and Spike walked over stony earth towards the now visible ruins of an ancient Grecian temple. He brought her hand to his lips for yet another kiss and grinned.

"I'm sure we are, pet, the whole bloody island's probably full of demons, ghosts, ghouls, maybe even vampires. This isn't gonna be easy, and it's not gonna get any easier when the time comes to take on the bint, you'll have your eyes closed."

"You sure tha..."

"Very sure, not up for debate. Don't fret, love, you're very zen, there'll be no worries once you're in full Slayer mode, just you versus the beast. But take note of where you're swinging that sword, like my head where it is."

"I'll know when it's you near, I always know. Your head is safe....we'll the one on your shoulders at any rate...."

"Naughty Slayer...."

"Delicious looking vampire, can't help myself."

"No one's asking you to....just stow it away for a lil' while. Buff.....gotta say it one more time, I love you." She was about to echo his sentiment when on reflex her sword was raised and her hand taken from Spike's.

"You feel that?" His affirmation came in the form of his demon surfacing and a low growl emanating from the depths of his throat,"We're surrounded aren't we?" Spike stood low, his shoulders hunched over and a firm grip on the ax. Hundreds of eyes opened in the darkness, yellow and glowing like fireflies.

"Feeders......I....I think...."

"Huh?"

"Dark souls, or not...just dark things...they feed on negative emotions, suck you dry of your life force....eat you whole...tell me about something good, should get them to back off...."

"Like what?"

"When you realized you loved me..."

"Uh....not so happy...."

"How come? That's not boostin' to a bloke's ego, sweetness."

"When Willow went kablooey, the night after you'd left, I took Dawn to your crypt to ask you to take care of her while me and Xander went after Willow." He visibly started and she gave him an almost ashamed look, she could tell this wasn't about to make him happy.

"The day after I attacked you......you brought your little sister to me?!"

"She needed to be safe and the only person she felt safe with was you so I agreed. I didn't plan on doing anything except asking you to take care of her and then I'd be gone...I wasn't gonna deal with everything.....there just wasn't any time. But you were already gone, Clem was there, he said you'd left town. Suddenly I found myself thinking about the men in life and how they'd all left me.....my dad, Angel, Riley and now you too....and I loved all those men.....and it just hit me that I loved you too. I didn't cry over it until much later, when the dust had settled and you were still gone.....then I couldn't stop....and.....then I accepted it......but then you came back." There were tears in her eyes as she told him her story, the emotional rollercoaster of the past few months taking her for another ride. The feeders were much closer now, the lovers didn't even realize it. The dark dwellers were jittery and eager, moving in to start the frenzy.

"It was no picnic for me either when I found myself as your willing slave, so to speak.....had a nightmare about it....then it just went around in my head like a cat in a blender."

"Eww....nice to know I inspire Petricide.....or whatever....."

"But then came that night in the house behind the Magic Box.....when you just sorta...."

"Mounted you?" He laughed and moved in closer to her, letting his guard down, the feeders irrelevant.

"It was like being burned by the sun, you were so hot...so wet....riding up and down on me....and you were so tight, like I was your first..." Her sword began to falter and she was captivated by the lustful memory dancing behind his eyes.

"I had no idea you'd be so huge....the others, they weren't like that at all...it was almost too much for me....now, no one else will ever be enough....."

"I kinda gathered that....I almost came right then and there, before we fell through the floor......" She lay a hand on his heart.

"There was something I never told you, something that started the night you saved me from internal combustion."

"Our first kiss?"

"Technically that was our second, there's the one after Glory. That kiss though, the night you saved me and we sang to each other, it wasn't a spell, I wanted it." Her confession strummed at a chord connected to his soul, it felt wonderful. In turn, Spike lay a gentle hand over her heart, his long fingers pressing against her collar bone,"And after Randy and Joan..."

"I liked Randy and Joan."

"The kiss at the Bronze, I didn't just want it, I needed it." His hand moved to the back of her neck,"What I wanted to tell you was that, from then on I had found the one thing that made me want to stay on Earth. When you were inside me, I finally felt alive again. When we weren't together I told myself how wrong it was and that I should be disgusted with myself, but I just couldn't stay away from you. I craved you, like you said I would. The only time I felt anything was when you made me, when you were touching me, moving with me.....you saved me, I see that now....your love saved me." His eyes were closed and his lips close to her's, tasting her essence when she exhaled.

"You've been my salvation, Buffy." They held on to the moment for a brief instant, then plunged, mouths open into each other's embrace. Smacking and sucking in a coarse, hungry kiss hard enough to bruise lips.

Suddenly remembering they were actually in grave danger they broke apart and readied their weapons again. Much to their surprise, the feeders were gone."What the?"

"I suspect our lil' display sent them off.....evil things aren't much for love and affection."

"There'll be more bad stuffs when we get inside?"

"Count on it, sweet breads - time to shift gears, full on Slayer."

"When this is over we're gonna do it for ten hours straight, got that? I don't wanna be able to walk for a week at least."

"That's my girl."

"That's right, I am your girl, don't get dead in there! Understood?"

"Got it, love.....just like you're not allowed to turn into stone. Gimme your hand, once we're inside you gotta keep those pretty eyes shut tight."

Chapter 25

Giles and Anya rushed into the Magic Box under the cover of a drenched umbrella that was barely stopping the deluge anymore. They both stopped short at the scene before them. The store looked as if a flood had come through it, everything was soaking wet and in total disarray, save for the upper level where Dawn sat clutching both her binder and her cat.

"Dawn, what's happened?!" Giles begged, quite panic stricken. In total contrast a wry smile spread across the teenager's face,"Dawn?"

"Isosillica Depth Trudger."

"Say that again....."

"Isosillica Depth Trudger.....page 156 of your copy of Hardigan's Tome of South Pacific Demons and Water Fae."

"Yes, I know.....are you saying..."

"I smoked his ass....literally...it was scary at first.....but I handled myself!"

"Good for you Dawnie," Anya congratulated, propping up a faint Giles.

"So, find the second Hell Mouth?"

"No......let's hope Xander and Willow had better luck....I feel we're running out of time," Giles continued. The bell over the door clanged as a water logged Xander and Willow came inside."You found it didn't you?" The solemn looks on their faces told all.

"God Giles...." Xander said shakily,"It's bad.....it's really bad....I don't think we can stop this...even if Spike and Buffy succeed....I don't think it's gonna be enough."

***

The temple's tremendous size was an illusion Spike and Buffy found when the entrance room lead only to a slender, descending corridor. Spike flipped on his zippo lighter, revealing the tales and pictograms covering the walls. Spike made a sound of discerning interest as he easily interpreted the Greek.

"What?" Buffy asked, walking behind him, with her eyes shut and her hand held securely by his.

"Drawings on the wall, pet, Greek letters, the myth of the first gorgon, Medusa. She was once the most beautiful woman on Earth and a priestess to Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love. She was seduced by Poseidon and they made love in Aphrodite's temple. The Goddess became so enraged that she cursed Medusa - turned her into a half woman, half serpent. Snakes for hair, ugly face, one look from her eyes will turn any living thing to stone."

"That's kinda....totally not her fault! Men! Goddesses! Grr..."

"Can't say that I totally disagree, sweetness, but we both know life's not fair. After Perseus killed Medusa to save Andromeda, another shamed woman took her place, and on and on down through the centuries."

"I kinda feel bad about cutting her head off now."

"If we don't the Kraken's gonna open up a Hell Mouth and destroy Sunnydale, then probably California, and the rest of the world, the people we love, etc. Think of poor William, cats hate the water."

"Well, for William then." Nearing the end of the corridor, Buffy's senses began to pick up all sorts of stimuli. There was a hot air coming from ahead. It smelled like burnt flesh and decay. There was also a counter wind cooly flowing horizontal. As they passed through the breeze the hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle. The crosswind stopped suddenly and in pure survival instinct she stomped her foot on the back of Spike's knee, making him twist and fall. A split second after sharp and hair thin darts shot across where he'd been standing. Buffy too got down just in time and now crawled her way blindingly to the vampire."You okay??!" she whispered hoarsely.

"Dislocated knee, but otherwise just peachy."

"Don't whine, you should've know it was coming."

"Sorry, love, but I was too busy paying attention to the giant three headed dog."

"Oh my god!!"

"Just kiddin'."

"Not funny Spike, stupid vampire."

"Just a little post-near-death-experience humor, sweetums, no harm intended.....thanks for the save, by the way."

"You're welcome...but watch yourself, it's not easy to do this with your eyes closed and don't tell me that I've got to keep 'em closed, you couldn't drive that point home any clearer if you shoved a railway spike up my nose."

"No funny either."

"Sorry, babe....just a little formerly-evil-vampire-boyfriend humor." He unexpectedly planted a good firm kiss on her lips, then drew them both to their feet.

"The inner chamber's just ahead, she'll prolly be hiding, knowing we're coming.....we'll separate, I'll go for the more direct attack, you hand back in the shadows and sneak up...got it?"

"Got it, be careful and I love you."

"Love you too. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life! And if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death." She punched his arm.

"Stop it with the jokes!"

"I wasn't....nevermind, on with it." Buffy took a steadying breath and slid into the gorgon's lair. She flattened herself against the wall and let her Slayer senses awaken. The room was very warm, with the acrid smelling air thick as a mire. The walls were marble, smooth in some places, jagged in others. The detection of light through her eyelids came and went as she moved, indicating the presence of both columns and torches.

So far, so good, she thought, just at the moment she bumped into someone. She froze and her breath seized in her lungs, carnal fear erupting. She hadn't known it was coming, no signed of life whatsoever, even Spike, dead as he was gave of vibes. When no reciprocal attack came, Buffy tentatively reached out to touch the person before her. Immediately she realized he was made of stone, a statue that had once been a man. She ran her fingers over his face, he must have been very young. At his side was a short bladed sword and upon his head was a helmet. He'd once been a Roman soldier and had been standing here for thousands of years.

Spike crept along down the center of the chamber, careful and aware. The scene was familiar, and recently so. Walking into Sarlaak's cave was exactly the same. The knowing dread that you were not alone but not being able to see your foe was unnerving. The place looked as it had throughout all antiquity. The center aisle was a monument to fallen heroes, all who came for the gorgon's head and failed. Soldiers from ancient times, Knights from the heart of the medieval era, even one poor bloke from W.W.II, still in his uniform. There was even an Indiana Jones knock off, though more likely the original patent. He had his ax ready to swing, he wasn't in this for a good spot of violence. He wanted a fast, clean kill then to go straight home with Buffy.

He was certain he heard something slithering off to the right and far ahead, but it was too light to be the gorgon herself. He paused to listen more intently. It was from straight ahead that the first shot came. A perfectly aimed and executed arrow cut through the air and pierced his chest just right of his heart.

"Just bloody great!" he seethed as he yanked the wooden shaft from his chest, sneering at the bloody wound. He ducked behind a pillar just as another barrage came whizzing out."Pardon me, bitch, but arrows through the chest are for holidays only!!" The gorgon hissed violently at Spike's indignation. She emerged from the darkness, a loathsome, hideous mutation of a woman. Her body from the waist down was every bit a serpent's, green and scaled and patterned like and anaconda. Her upper body was no more human than the lower half, save for it's shape and the presence of breasts, uncovered and speckled with scales. Her face was a tragic mask, human features contorted to give semblance to the species that dominated her form. White fangs that rivaled a vampire's descended to her lower lips, gleaming and dripping with venom. Her eyes however were black as pitch. The rumors of snakes in place of a mane of hair proved true, writhing, snapping beastial coils. Her weapons were the traditional of the first gorgon's, a bow in hand and a quiver lashed to her back.

Spikes wasn't afraid, the gorgon had nothing on Sarlaack, but he was still tense. If the thing got even a hint of Buffy being there he'd lose his cool for sure. Despite the amazing day they'd shared, he'd have much rather do this alone. He quieted himself and his emotions and listened to the thing's movements. She didn't slither with the stealthy grace afforded to most ophidians, some progresses forward consisted of dragging herself along. Needing not to breathe and when the blood didn't need to flow to the one spot in particular, there was nothing about him that could be perceived by any animal's senses, except a Slayer's.

The gorgon had seen where her prey had hidden, but couldn't detect him beyond the brief sighting when she'd loosed her arrows. Her torches cast all shadows, she knew them all by heart, few new came to visit. She withdrew an arrow and made it ready to fire. Spike waited patiently for the beast to come within striking distance of his ax. However to his amazement he was suddenly aware of Buffy's mind. It took a moment for him to accept it, but it was her nonsentient thoughts that he had complete knowledge of. She was moving stealthily, careful not to make a sound, sword poised high. But what he knew and Buffy couldn't see was that by coming at the gorgon from behind cast her shadow long and large.

The monster swung around as Spike simultaneously leapt from the behind his column."Buffy, drop!!!" he shouted and she obeyed instantly, the wind of the arrow touching her hair, her knees hitting the ground. Spike rushed the gorgon, ax coming in a wide arc. She turned back to her original target, her eyes as bright as the sun's. The blade took her head, but Spike had seen the demonic light and felt it pierce his soul.

"Spike?" Buffy called out admidst the silence,"Did you get her? Spike? Spike answer me!" She got to her feet, eyes still closed and with her arms outstretched she carefully moved forward. After only a few paces her fingers fell upon his face and the chiseled incline of his cheekbones. She outright screamed. He'd been turned to stone.

Chapter 26

"Nooooooooooooooo........" Buffy wailed, pain and fear overwhelming her. She opened her eyes and cried out again at the sight of him, all pale and whitened, from boot tips, to duster, to his curly hair. Of course he'd have to be marble, it was both hard and soft, rough and smooth, always beautiful. He looked so supple and almost life like, but he was cold, so much colder than a mere vampire. She cupped his face in her slight hands, her nose pressed to his, crying so hard she thought she'd never be able to stop. He remained unchanged, caught in suspended action, his arm outstretched and still holding the ax after having killed the gorgon. He had a searching look on his face, looking to make sure Buffy was alright. She kissed his lips, they were hard this time, no reciprocation or tenderness. She kissed him again, foolishly thinking the ways of childhood stories would wake him from this sleep."Please......not like this....not like this.....just because you have your soul....it was your reward....you promised me forever.....Spike....Spike..."

A welt appeared suddenly on her face, something had slashed her cheek. Blood trickled down her face as something again cut her again, this time on her ankle, right through the leather of her boot. No more warnings came and Buffy was suddenly pulled away from Spike and into the shadows. The feeders tore at her clothing, groped and prodded her lewdly, they bit her, scratched her, they ate away at her soul. She screamed, cried and they kept coming. "SPIKE!!!!!!" she called out one last time as she was enveloped by them.

There was rage, there was anger, there was the thirst for blood and violence and they belonged to one of the darkest warriors Hell had ever spawned. He rebutted the curse of Medusa, told the bitch that her mojo wouldn't work on a demon, wouldn't work on an evil dead thing. His fangs cut through the marble as if it were little more than paper, the ridges of his forehead contorted under the stone until it fell off in chunks. The duster's flaps soared out behind him and then fell against his legs. The ax completed its tilt and whirled Spike around, his feet no longer rooted to the ground. For a moment he knew nothing but the purity of his evil, but then the panic cry of his mate centered him.

Buffy had begun to fight back but there were too many of them, she was overcome with both grief and raw terror, and it only made the feeders stronger. She would have broken their bones, but they had none, nor any faces to speak of for her to punch, just darkness with eyes. Something got a particularly strong grip on her wrist and tried to pull her, she resisted, but it was stronger than she at that moment. She was yarded out from the hoard of feeders and brought back into the light, by the vampire. Spike had her, his grip on her arms bruising. He was in full game face, snarling with eyes blazing as fiercely as the feeders.

She was confused, seeing him alive, but seeing him also in his beastial form, feral and running on pure instinct. His hand moved up her arm and over her shoulder, holding at the side of her face, then it covered her eyes,"Told you to keep them shut," he spoke, with love, none of the demon present in his voice. He took his hand away and her eyes were closed again, but she was shaking. He saw what they'd done to her, torn her clothes to tatters, marked and cut her beautiful skin, violated her soul with their darkness. He flung his coat around her and wrapped her tight, then blanketed her with his arms and heart. She felt herself drawn against him, not caring the her cheek pressed to where the gorgon had shot her arrow."My beautiful girl, what have they done to you? M'sorry I couldn't help sooner, but it was the soul you see, let the gorgon get me for a spell. Demon was stronger than her though, pushed her off me...let m'come out of it. S'alright, pretty bird, your boy's right as rain, see? Well, wait....no, don't see, eyes closed......gorgon head, know I left it 'round here somewhere...hold up one sec." He released her and began pawing around on his hands and knees, looking up at Buffy the whole time.

Eventually something wriggly was felt, he gave a shudder at the still live, writhing snakes. Trying to get to his feet with the head in his hands, he stumbled and squished some part of it, splatting a stream of blood on his face."Well, that's just nasty," he complained as he spat out what blood had gotten in his mouth. He reached inside the pockets of the duster and withdrew both the leather satchel for the gorgon's head and his handkerchief. Once the head was secured in the sack and his face cleaned, Spike finally let himself take a breather. Coming back over to the still visibly shaken Buffy, he tilted her head up with his fingers at her chin,"You can open your eyes now, love." She didn't at first, but when she did she smiled at him, but then her face crumpled and became strained,"Buffy, what's the matter?"

"I'm trying not to cry....the feeders."

"They won't touch you again, not with me around...are you badly hurt?"

"Just cuts and scratches, nothing that won't heal in a few hours." He leaned in and hugged her, sighing in her ear."Spike, I'm sorry....I screwed up......I shouldn't have come, you were right."

"Nah, pet.....if you hadn't come I'd be dead. I heard you crying for me....it woke the demon straight up, primal need to protect its mate n' all that. If you hadn't been here I couldn't have broken free."

"I want to go home." He drew back and nodded.

"Alright, you give Anyanka a summoning....I've got something else to take care of first..." He put down the leather sac and picked up he ax.

"Spike?"

"Their souls are still in the statues....been there all this time.....hafta set 'em free......"

"Oh god..." He stepped up before the man from the early 20th century, gave him the patented smirk.

"Put in a good word for me when you get upstairs, eh mate?" With that he hauled off and sliced the ax through the marble, taking his head and releasing the soul trapped within. He shattered the rest - the knight, the centurion, everyone else, especially Indiana Jones, he reminded him of Giles. When he was done he picked up the leather sack and the gorgon's head. Anya was with Buffy now, fawning over the battered Slayer like a mother with her cub. The Slayer was reassuring her that she was fine. Spike wrapped his arm around Buffy's waist and pulled her close,"Take us home Anya."

Chapter 27

Not re-materializing in the rain was a boon for the triumphant duo, but the Magic Box looked fairly worse for wear. Wasn't the first time, certainly wouldn't be the last. Buffy let out a sigh of relief and slumped against Spike, letting him support her.

"You two alright? You look like hell," Dawn observed from her position on high.

"We're fine, Nibblet, just need to get our p's in q's in order," Spike replied, flinging the leather bag on to the table,"One gorgon's head, as requested."

"Not too much trouble I hope?" Giles asked, tempted to have a peak in the satchel, but restraining himself aptly.

"Nah.....no big, almost died....what, honey? Five times?" Buffy snarked, feeling a little worse for wear. Giles inwardly admonished himself and gave Buffy and apologetic look.

"The Slayer n' I are gonna go downstairs to get cleaned up....then you can tell us what the game plan is..." Spike announced, taking Buffy by the shoulders and leading her away.

"Spike...." Giles began to protest, but Spike was already ushering Buffy through the door to the training room and its facilities. Buffy let herself be lead to the shower stall in the small change room. Spike turned on the water and tested the temperature before searching through the solitary locker against the wall in which Buffy kept spare clothes. Buffy removed his coat and then the remnants of her tattered clothing and stepped under the stream of hot water. Spike chuckled to himself when she let out a loud moan, this short treatment was exactly what she needed. He took up his coat again, loving how it now smelled so richly of her again and put it back on.

"Aren't you gonna join me?" she called from behind the frosted glass. He finished laying out a new pair of jeans, a t-shirt and clean underwear and sports bra for her, then turned to gaze upon her nude form, it's healthy shape distinguishable through the glass. He sat down on the bench next to her clothes and ran his fingers through his hair,"Spikey? I'm all wet...."

"Don't be usin' the cute talk on me, Slayer. We're on a mission here, saving the world does not get subjugated for orgasms."

"I hate it when you use logic."

"My love, when this is all over I promise we'll put the Kama Sutra to shame, the upside down positions and everything."

"Damn, and I just had the trapeze removed from my bedroom last week." She turned off the water and stepped out of the shower to find Spike with his back to her, holding out a towel."Wow, look at you...all restraining of yourself."

"I'm being a good puppy, don't corrupt him....we have a Kraken to fight, this time I think I will need my edge, you too." She grabbed the towel from him and pushed him out of the way so she could get to her clothes. When she was done dressing she came up behind him and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He turned around and knowing precisely what she was in search of. He wrapped his arms tight around her waist, lifted her off the ground and hugged her as tight as he could.

***

They'd only been gone 15 minutes at the most and the Scoobies were surprised to see them back so soon, assuming their sojourn downstairs was for something other than a shower. But it seemed they really had gone downstairs just to clean up. They'd gathered themselves around the table, leaving space for Buffy and Spike, who sat pressed close next to each other. The sack containing the gorgon's head sat at the center of the table, generally freaking them out every time a snake thrashed or wiggled. They all seemed rather sullen and tired. Obviously the past few days had been strenuous, and it was finally wearing them down, but in truth it was all only just beginning.

It was Giles who finally broke the silence,"We've found the second Hell Mouth," he stated simply,"Xander and Willow did, to be precise. I'm afraid the situation is grave....no, that's not even close."

"Giles?" Buffy asked, absorbing Giles' tension,"What is it?"

"When the lake arose after the Kraken's first attempt to breach it's confines was thwarted, the stupendously idiotic people of Sunnydale thought they'd compound it by building a dam. Presuming that raising the water level would strengthen the imprisonment. As decades went by and technology advanced, the dam was made larger, more effective and impressive until now, today, it is the largest reservoir in this part of the state."

"If the dam breaks, it'll wipe out all of Sunnydale," Spike stated.

"Yes, it will. Even if the Kraken is turned to stone, the collapse of his body back into the water could cause a colossal tidal wave, if the dam breaks....it'll all be for naught..."

"Bloody hell, bloody bloody hell, and bloody bloody bloody hell."

"My sentiments exactly."

"What do we do then?" Buffy interjected,"Can we evacuate the city? Will people even listen to us? Look, we've got the gorgon's head, the Kraken could raise itself any time, we have to play this.....what else?"

"Enough minions to sink the Titanic....again," Dawn piped up, opening her binder,"Here's what we know...."

"We know stuff?"

"I know stuff....first, the Isosillica Depth Trudgers are a piece of cake, Molotov Cocktails all the way - I suggest we go to the liquor store and pick up some vodka. K' there's the Sunnydale swim team species....just a sec.....here they are...Gillagus Mencenius, the way to do them in is to rip out the gill sacs under their ears, it holds the water they use to breathe when on land. There'll be electric eels all over the place.....sharks who can move on land....you should all look at my notes before we go to the dam."

"Hold on.....you're not coming with us....."

"Okay, I'll stay down here and wait for the damn to burst and sweep me into the Pacific." Buffy growled and clenched her small fists in frustration, Spike obligingly began to knead the muscles of her shoulders.

"Giles, how much time do we have left? Is it going to happen tonight?" Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them with his handkerchief, signaling of course that the situation was dire. Spike's hands left her shoulders and moved themselves around her waist, pulling her ever so gently closer to him. She untensed and relaxed into the form of his torso, a slight reprieve in these dangerous moments before they entered the fray of yet another battle to save the world.

"Before dawn, I'm sure of it....any time now, in all honesty. We can't delay in the slightest...."

"Then we form a plan and go for it."

"From the vantage point of the expanse atop the damn, the gorgon's head must be held up for the Kraken to see first thing."

"What if he comes up looking the other way?" Dawn asked innocently,"'Cause once he's out of the Hell Mouth he'll be a hundred stories high, he'll never see her eyes if we're that far down." The faces of those gathered simultaneously changed expressions, solemn and nervous.

"I have an idea," said Spike.

Chapter 28

"Are you out of your freaking bleached mind?!?!" Buffy screamed at him, Spike wincing as the volume and intensity of hit him. He'd told them his idea and before he knew what was happening she'd grabbed him by the lapels of his coat and hauled him outside into the rain, sparring none of her Slayer strength in the action. Spike kept pushing the water off his face, trying to keep a handle on the situation now that she was freaking out."It's suicide, Spike!"

"Cut out the bloody hysterics, Slayer, it's not suicide!" She wanted to slap him across the face for his patronization, but instead all she could muster was unfettered panic. She still held him by his coat, her emotions palpable all around him.

"I've had enough of you almost dying to last me a dozen lifetimes!"

"Once! Today! You were dead for 147 days, not to mention all the near misses before and after that!"

"And I had only minutes without you and it almost killed me.....don't you understand that I can't live without you now?!" He took her hands from the leather that hung over his body and held them between his own, kissing lightly at her fingertips.

"I understand that you're scared, but I've lived with the same fears every day and night for years.....and I do it gladly because it's a vital part of who you are, it's part of why I love you so bloody much. You're a tried and true hero. I'm not a hero, Buffy.....I'm just....heh...I'm not even a man.....but I need to do one good thing in my life. I know I'll never make up for all the pain and misery I've caused as a vampire....that's not even my reason. My way is the best shot we've got for defeating the Kraken - too many lives are at stake here, there's no other way. My mess of an unlife for a hundred thousand is a no brainer, pet....might even be saving millions. Incidentally, whoever said I was gonna bloody die? I don't plan on failing.....besides, you've promised me a shagfest of epic proportions! Roman Army'd have t'drag me from that." Buffy took her hands out from his grasp and replaced them at either side of his face.

"You're wrong you know? You're very much a man, and you are a hero, you've been Dawn's for years now.....and you're mine." That moment was an epitome for Spike and it would settle for nothing less than the sweetest, most soulful kiss they'd ever shared. They trembled with emotion, knowing that every last second over the years and especially the past few days had brought them to a point in the expanse of infinity where each knew without question or doubt that no matter what plain they travelled, no matter the forms they took, they'd never be separated. This was love.

The pair came back into the Magic Box hand in hand. Buffy's crisis of protestation apparently averted. Spike let go of her once they'd stepped back inside. Shrugging off his duster and laying it wet as it was across the counter, he then marched over to the hexagonal table and took up the sack with the head in it.

"Suit up kiddies.....we've got an apocalypse to stop."

***

Arriving at the Sunnydale Dam in both Xander's car and the DeSoto, the gang paused to stare in horrified awe as the fissure under the water's depths. The entire lake was glowing, exquisite and beautiful to behold, like a diamond shimmering in the sunlight. Spike gave a shudder, he'd thought he had the courage for what he was about to do, but he found it waning. This was a Hell Mouth, living and beating and preparing to unleash a titan and whatever else it was bringing along for the ride. Buffy tore her eyes away from the lake and to the back seat where her sister sat with William forcefully tucked inside her jacket pocket. The kitten was very put out, but cooperating for the moment."Dawn, can you go over to Xander's car? We need a moment alone." Dawn nodded, understanding how nervous and outright terrified Buffy must be right now.

"No problem," she replied, the suddenly wrapped her arm around Spike's neck, catching the vampire by surprise and choking him. She squeezed him tightly, and put a kiss to his temple,"Don't screw up."

"No worries, Nibblet," he replied, giving her arm a reassuring pat,"Take care of my namesake there."

"No worries. I love you Spike." He closed his eyes and rest his chin pensively against her.

"Go on....." She released him and got out, running over to hop into the back seat of the other car with Giles and Anya. Spike looked over at Buffy, he tried to smile for her, but it faltered and he let his head lull back against the seat."Damn."

"Understatement of the century," Buffy echoed.

"I'm not feeling too swift...going after Glory that last night wasn't half this bad....never felt like this before."

"What do you mean?"

"My stomach, it's queasy..."

"Mine too, just nerves before the adrenaline kicks in."

"Maybe....I'm not a bloody coward, but....I'm not feeling too brave either...."

"You'll be.....you'll be fine, I believe in you, you won't let anyone down." He found his smile then, gave it to her and she reciprocated with one of her own. She moved across the distance between them until she was virtually in his lap, then she began to lower her head.

"Sweetheart....I don't think this is the time..."

"Get over yourself...." She reached down and pulled up his pant legs, then proceeded to untie his boots,"These things are heavy and useless in the water, they'll hinder you." She then pulled the old Doc Martens off and stowed them by the pedals. As she rose she paused to unbuckle his belt.

"Still not the time, m'precious, but....oh....go for it, the Kraken can wait ten minutes." He could practically feel her role her eyes. The belt was unceremoniously pulled out from the loops of his jeans and came away as Buffy sat back up.

"No unnecessary weight..."

"My kingdom for a Speedo." She laughed at his opportune joke, laying a hand at his chest.

"Tell me this gonna work?"

"It's gonna work, pet, my plans never fail." At those words her lower lip began to tremble."That was a joke." She nodded and curled up against him and held her lover for a few ephemeral moments, the knowledge that once again she could lose everything twisting her soul in knots.

Chapter 29

From the fortified wall that spanned the length of the dam, Spike stood a good ten feet higher than where the rest of them were. He didn't dare look back, one sight of either Buffy or Dawn and he'd loose all his resolve. Instead he looked into the water, even far past safety levels it was still two stories down. At this vantage point the water looked black and cold, the light from the opening Hell Mouth nary but a thin blight across the murky expanse. The sack with the gorgon's head was secured around his chest and shoulders while he placed a knife between his teeth in case he came up against any foes in the water and needed to defend himself. Not needing to breathe was one of the main reasons he was the one on top of this wall, but he still felt the need to inhale and exhale a few times before taking four steps back then breaking into a sprint and propelling himself into the blackness below.

Buffy saw him disappear and felt her heart lurch, there was no turning back now. He was strong, resilient and her match in a fight; but he was also the man she loved and sending him off alone to dive into the Hell Mouth went against every instinct. The remaining six of them stood helpless in the rain, hardly knowing what to do with themselves. "BUFFY!!!" Dawn screamed, snapping the Slayer out of her lamentations. Coming at them, and fast, was the first wave of aquatic demons.

Spike had expected the water to be icy cold, but when he slammed into it he felt as if his skin would be boiled off it was so hot. The heat forced his eyes closed, but he persevered and managed to tolerate the pain enough to guide himself in the direction of the opening between Hell and Earth. The barest flash of something's shape was caught in his peripheral vision, and Spike began to swim harder and faster in a effort to be long gone by time it made it's second pass. However, obviously with purpose in mind, it swam past him and came for him in a frontal attack. Spike had thought JAWS was pretty funny movie when it first came out all those decades ago, but now as the demonic great white sharks came at him from all sides with rows of white teeth bared, Spike didn't see it quite that way anymore. One false move and any one of them could take off an arm or leg as if bones were little more than twigs to be snapped off a branch.

His eyes went wide, all impossibly humongous by way of comparison to his slight and compact frame. Taking the knife from his teeth, Spike swam forward to take the first shark head on. The thing came at him, its eyes glowing a hellish red and teeth as long as Spike's forearm. At the last possible second the vampire dodged to the right, digging the blade into the denizen of the deep's gills and cutting them out. Blood filled the water and the other monsters centered on their fellow creature, cannibalizing him without hesitation. As one shark sped past him to the meal, it thrashed Spike with it's tail, knocking him for a loop almost to unconsciousness. He came back to his senses just in time to see the last bit of the broken strap of the sack disappear into the depths, taking the gorgon's head with it. Oh balls.

The Isosillica were easy enough to dispatch with, Dawn's suggestion to acquire bottles of liquor before coming to the dam proved valid as they blew a dozen apart before the next assault came. This time it was a combination of several kinds of amphibious and marine demons came down upon them. Buffy had been right about the adrenaline and now it propelled her into an offensive attack, taking on all comers by sheer brute force. Meanwhile Willow, Xander and Giles warded off what could only be described as a hellish giant squid. They sliced and diced its numerous tentacles with weapons brought from the Magic Box, desperately trying to be stealthy enough to avoid it's snapping jaws - definitely not standard squid. Anya was making great progress by conjuring ball of fire that effectively evaporated anything that came near her. Dawn meanwhile was holding her own, but keeping close to Buffy. They were thinning the herd of the Kraken's loyal minions, all the while hoping that Spike was having as much success.

The vampire was dead tired, or at least tired as a man who was already dead could get. His exhaustion only made him swim harder, all in effort of regaining the gorgon's head. He was used to the water's temperature now, though the deeper he dove, the hotter it got. Not unexpectedly the water was becoming clearer and lighter at these depths, closer to the Hell Mouth's opening. He reckoned he was close on 100ft down, still no sight of the lakebed. His estimation of the sack's path of descent had been correct and he saw it ahead of him, almost within his reach. Finding his second wind, Spike kicked more furiously and clawed the water with his hands, snatching the line of the strap and pulling the head back within his grasp. There was no sense in making for the surface, so he continued downwards and directly towards the place from where the Kraken would emerge.

Chapter 30

Memories of his earlier days as a fledgeling vampire peeked out from behind the corners of his mind. One night in particular when Darla had fought one night with Angelus and stormed out in a huff, dragging poor William with her. He didn't recall why Drusilla hadn't been there at the time, only that Great Grand Siremum had tossed the man of the house aside and taken up with underling William. It was after that night he'd begun to rebel against Angelus' tyranny. She'd brought him to an opium house, but not for a meal, she wanted to loose herself in the liquor and smoke. He'd spent the better part of that evening on the tip of a hooka pipe, inhaling diamonds and pearls of smoky intoxicant.

All around him was light and prisms, colors he'd forgotten about after spending so many years in the darkness. Jellyfish and hydrozoa cavorted and danced around him in a haunting underwater ballet, the atypical beauty of it almost made him forget the matter at hand. A reminder was brought sharply into focus in the form of one of the jellyfish brushing against his arm and stinging him. He cried out and the knife was reflexively released and it sunk rapidly. The arm was numb, but the vampire's strength was resilient, however he could see the creature's brethren massing for a group assault.

The onset of the Kraken's rising was announced by a low rumbling at the base of the dam. It came from the earth and rippled upwards through the steel and concrete until it was a shaking under the feet of those on land. The awful din of compressing metal and cracking concrete echoed all around them in dreadful symphony in harmony with the beating of the rain and the snarls of demons."We have to get off the dam!" Buffy shouted above it all. No one debated for even a second and they sprinted in rapid succession back to where they'd parked the cars. Once on higher ground, they turned to watch as the lake began to drain itself into the Hell Mouth, likely to erupt again as a volcano. Buffy took a several paces ahead of the others, holding her arms around herself and shaking from too much adrenaline and too much cold..."Spike...."

The Kraken made Sarlaak look like a patsy. Spike didn't see him coming, despite that fact that it made the Statue of Liberty look like a toddler. The vampire found himself rising from the water atop the Kraken's head as if he was on the recoil of the world's largest bungee chord. One hand gripped white knuckled to the gorgon's head, while the other to some part of the titan. Coming to the surface was a welcome relief, being back in Spike's natural element, however still water laden it was. But when he found himself being hurtled towards the clouds, an entirely new degree of terror was achieved. It wasn't that he was afraid of heights, it was being a louse on the head of a giant that made him feel like hurling. Not to mention the fact that the wind beat upon him as if he were caught in the engine of a stealth jet, how the rain ripped his skin and made him bleed. His stomach had dropped and he was glad for the fact that he hadn't eaten anything more than blood, otherwise the Kraken might meet the metaphorical equivalent of a pigeon in the form of vampire. Said man was woozy and suffering from vertigo as it happened, but the demon was royally pissed right off. He could be at home right now, shagging the Slayer into next Tuesday, but heavens no, he had to stop an apocalypse. A definite kink in his chain, in addition to the fact that he discovered he was latched to the thing's nostril. Oh, just bloody lovely.

Dawn grabbed on to Buffy's when they saw the first hint of the Kraken emerging from the drink, scales the size of cars interconnected on a domed head. From then it was ridges upon it's face, like so many lesser lizards in the deserts; a head so large, with rows of teeth crooked as uncared for tombstones that the notion that there was a body to follow was inconceivable. So, the youngest among them, hid behind the strongest, not realizing that if the Kraken saw fit he could probably break the mountain side with a flick of its finger. When the mightiest of the titans soared from the water, there was a downsurge of both sound and energy, the Hell Mouth had been opened.

There was nothing in all they were witnessing that spoke to Spike's fate. No one wanted to believe that he'd failed, meaning he failed meant he'd be in the belly of something the Kraken had brought with. The Kraken never should have disturbed the surface in the first place, Spike was going to have the gorgon's head be the first thing the monster saw when it came through. Or had Spike been caught in some sort of hellish undertow and sucked down through a funnel into hell? Buffy couldn't help but imagine this and other terrible scenarios. She'd never felt so purposeless in all her years as the Slayer.

"You know, mate...." Spike started speaking to the Kraken, ignoring the monster's snarls that's clearly declared I have breached the Hell Mouth, I'm big and scary. Also brought some pals and we're going to have Armageddon now."There are many other things I much much rather being doing right now than dangling from your major mucus orifice." Spike had begun to climb over the Kraken's face, heading for one of his huge yellow reptilian eyes."For example..." Spike pulled himself up to the bridge,"Being hung by the larger of my two love spuds from that chandelier at the Sunnydale Country Club Ballroom and whipped with a cat-o-nine tails. There's also the piercing of my nipples with railway spikes.....hell, sharing a beer with Harris....well, actually, come to think of, just between you, me, and your major mucus orifice...."

The Kraken's rise began to slow, and Spike knew he had only moments left. The first step forward would likely crack the dam in two from the forceful displacement of water. He began climbing in earnest over the terrain of the hell beast's face, never loosing grip or determination, had a shagfest to get to afterall. Spike traversed part of the forehead, then let himself slide down the brow until he could dangle over the edge. His legs swung freely and in front of the Kraken's eye. That got the thing's attention and now Spike found himself combating with the shaking of the giant head to rid itself of the pest.

Spike put the rim of the leather sac's opening in his teeth as he fished inside for the head. After a minuscule squichy moment at delving his hand into the snakes he withdrew the prize he'd fought for, spat out the leather in his mouth and held the head of the gorgon in front of the Kraken's eye.

"Lights out, peaches."

Chapter 31

"Thought'd take longer than that," Spike grumbled just before his hand slipped on the wet stone surface of the petrified Kraken."Crap on crap....." The ride down wasn't nearly as bad as the ascension had been, Spike was grateful for small graces. However, there was still the matter of demon sharks and evil jellyfish to contend with, not to mention the fact that at the speed he was falling he'd probably break his neck on impact. He tore apart and discarded the gorgon's head, then curling his body into a tight little hors d'oeuvre for the sharks, he waited for the crash.

Hitting the water felt like being turned inside out, had he been human he'd have likely found his brain displaced to somewhere in the region of his liver and his lungs replaced by his kidneys. The water was biting cold, giving him a toxic shock of sorts. He must have sunk 50ft or so, because it was taking forever to swim back up to the surface. Fortunately, it seemed the water was now void of its demonic creatures and the Hell Mouth had closed. He didn't mind this last use of energy, the worst had passed and for once in his miserable unlife he'd come out the winner. It was just as he emerged above the surface, with a cocky and triumphant grin painted on his face that a chunk of falling Kraken narrowly missed him. The smirk disappeared when he looked up and saw the thing was breaking apart. Bugger!!!

When Buffy and the others saw the Kraken turn to stone they all erupted in cheers. In that moment a thousand juxtaposed emotions welled up inside the Slayer. First of which was tremendous relief, not only was Spike alive, he'd succeeded! There was also pride for him, knowing how much of a solidification (no pun intended) of his redemption this was. Most of all there was love. It wasn't really an epiphanous moment for her, she already loved him beyond all rhyme and reason, but the tangible fear of almost losing it made her appreciate how precious it all was. Angel and Riley had been defeated in her heart by Spike, by her William, in all aspects.

When she then heard and saw the stone monster begin to crack and pieces of it began to slag off into the lake, she'd reverted to the panicked fear state. Without thinking she started to run. The others followed her back to the dam where she'd seen him jump off, she was cclimbing up to the ledge and calling for him before they'd even caught up. When no answer came a true worry began to gnaw in the pit of her stomach.

"BUFFY!!" Dawn shouted up to her, prompting the elder sister to pry her eyes away from the lake,"Buffy, look! Over there!" The Slayer followed her sister's pointed finger. Walking with difficulty, but with purpose along the length of the dam wall was Spike. Again she was running, moving as fast as her Slayer feet could move her. When he saw her, shining like gold for him despite it being night and miserably rainy, the last of his strength left him. The big bad vampire passed out cold and fell hard, face first to the cement ground. He heard Buffy yelp, but didn't let it pang him too harshly, this was one time he had to let his steely resolve take a nap.

Wafting back to consciousness by the needful caresses of her hands on his face as she cradled his upper body in her lap, head comfy against her breasts, Spike sighed and let his eyes flicker open. His face was being shielded from the rain by the her hair, wet though it was, and it gave him clear view of her eyes."You're so pretty," was all he could think to speak, in a odd simpleton like way. Buffy smile brightly at his compliment, taking it with a grain of salt, he must be a little delirious."You know when we were taking that trip to Greece's Freak n' Geeks land, shoulda got that bloody flyin' horse too....fuck me sideways, I hurt." There was her Spike.

"I didn't know there was a flying horse," she replied, holding him just a little tighter.

"Old part of the story, love, might just be myth. Too bloody late now....baby, your boy's in rough shape."

"I love you."

"Feeling better now." She pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"You saved the world, Spike."

"Yeah...kinda did, didn't I? Just between you and me, pet, I'll leave the apocalypses to you."

"Okay." He strained to move, but with Buffy's help, he got to his feet."I'm gonna take you home and give you the full service Buffy Summers TLC."

"Sound just about right, love. Give me a good night's sleep and I'll give it right back to you." With both arms around his waist they began to walk to where the others waited when the small (car sized) pieces of Kraken hitting the water suddenly were bus sized. A upsurge of water surprised them as it came over the side of the dam, washing them off their feet on to the platform below. Both landed poorly, but relatively unharmed, helped back to their feet by the others as they came rushing to their aid. There was no chance for pleasantries or congratulations when another tidal wave came over the rim. Spike grabbed for a guardrail and grabbed Buffy, who in turn grabbed her sister. Xander clung to Willow and Giles to Anya and all to the same railing as the water hit. Their feet were swept out from under them as the wave took away their oxygen for just a a little bit longer than was tolerable. Once the first wave had passed, Spike was on his likely fifth well of undiscovered endurance, getting them all back on two feet and ushering them fast off the damn and back to the high grounds where they'd be safe from the Kraken's disintegration and subsequent tsunamis. Twice more they had to struggle to keep each other from being spirited away by a deluge, but at length they found their way to safety as the last of the Kraken crumbled into the lake.

Once again Buffy had her arms around Spike, smiling down at his bare feet and messed up appearance; frowning at his cuts and bruises. The vampire felt rather puffed up and proud at the pats on the back from Giles, even the subtle nod of acceptance from Xander. Anya and Willow obliged him with hugs, while Buffy toyed affectionately with his hair."Look it..." said Spike, motioning skyward,"The rain's stopped." With joyful gasps they took in the splendor of the stars pin pointed over the blanket of midnight as the clouds dissipated and the last of the Kraken's influence died away.

"Buffy?" Dawn's meek voice called out,"Buffy?" This time she sounded pained. All eyes turned to the teenager, with hot tears running down her face and her nose red and swollen from the sudden onslaught of emotion.

"Dawn?" Buffy asked, concerned.

"What is it, Nibblet?" Spike echoed. She held it out for them to see, something orange and bedraggled cupped in her palms.

"Buffy....my kitten..." the young girl sobbed.

"Oh...oh Dawn...." Buffy whispered. It seemed, that for the heroics, close calls and near death experiences of that night that one among them had not been so fortunate. Little William had drowned.

Chapter 32

"Willow??" Dawn pleaded, looking to the former witch with heartbreaking hope in her eyes.

"Dawnie....I'm sorry...but you know the magic's all gone.....if I could...." Willow answered, not hiding her own tears at Dawn's sadness. Dawn started to cry anew and Buffy left Spike's side to comfort her sister, but instead, Spike pushed past Buffy and came before the young girl.

"Can I see him, Bit?" he asked softly, looking her in the eyes. Carefully Dawn deposited William's limp body in Spike's hands before choking on a sob and falling into Buffy's waiting arms. Spike walked away from them, looking down at his name sake, the soul was definitely twitching at this poor little creature. The vampire sighed and searched his memories for the words he needed. Once he confirmed to himself he was correct he bent his lips down to William's ear,"Just this once....alright, can't make a habit of it, so watch how you use the other 8 lives. Ahem...Renovatio spiritus er vivificus praevaleo caelestis Bastet." I flicker of light and the kitten sneezed, and sneezed again, then looked up at Spike adoringly to which the vampire gave him a ruffle behind the ears. Turning back to Dawn and Buffy, Spike presented William out for all to see,"He's just fine, Nibblet. Had some water in his lungs...see?" The look on Dawn's face at seeing her kitten alive and well was one that would stay with Spike till the end of his days. Making his lil' Bit happy did more for his soul that saving the world had. Dawn snapped up her kitten and held him close, while Buffy came over to her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around his waist. Spike caught the discerning, almost accusing look Giles was giving him to which Spike just shrugged his shoulders and hugged Buffy.

"You're one amazing man, you know that?" Buffy praised, looking up at him with the same adoration as William had, a bloke could get used to this.

"Amazing yes, thoroughly knackered, oh yes. Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"Use the Slayer strength."

"Why?" He closed his eyes and passed out again, into her arms.

***

Spike had come to again shortly after slumping like a sack of potatoes into his love's arms. Upon which it was decided to call it a night and return home, after a brief stop at the Magic Box to retrieve Spike's duster, he wasn't too keen on leaving it about. Crashing out in the Summers living room was unintentional, but somehow they all found themselves strewn about on either furniture or on the floor. Buffy was the first to awaken the next morning, laying face down on the sofa. The first thing she noticed was the uncomfortable ache in her neck from sleeping in so awkward a position. The second thing she noticed was that the vampire had made an impression of his face in her rear end. He too was sound asleep, sitting on the floor, nestled at a cushy cheek, hands clutching each. She snickered into her pillow, making her bottom jiggled under him. Naturally the commotion under his face woke Spike. He turned into her and sunk blunt teeth into the ripe fruit and gave her a good morning growl. Escaping the manacles of his possessive fingers, Buffy rolled herself over. Spike immediately grabbed her hips and pulled her down to him. Lifting her shirt and exposing her taut belly. He let out a groan like a lion waking in the later afternoon sun and his mouth dragged we kisses over her stomach and lower abdomen.

"Mmmmm....I love you in the morning," he purred. She ran her fingers through his messy blond locks and undulated under his attentive kisses.

"You love me all the time."

"Yes, my little Californian delight, but in the mornings you're ripe and juicy like a tangerine, and all I want to do is devour you until your juices have syroped my face and I'm drunk on your sweetness as if it were a cool drug in my veins." Buffy shivered as his rough voice and enthralling words aroused her. When he popped the button at the waist of her pants she was shocked out of her state and moved to stop him before he'd stripped her bare in the skillful way he'd been able to do in the past.

"Spike! We can't....we're in a room full of people!"

"Nonsense....they're sound asleep.....gimme breakfast!"

"I'm not asleep," Anya piped up, curled in Giles' lap in an armchair,"But feel free to go right ahead and devour your tangerine, I don't mind."

"I mind," Giles protested.

"Oh Rupert! You're too proper for your own good."

"I'm not too proper, darling, I just think it's rather inconsiderate."

"I guess you're right. SO, what kind of fruit am I?"

"Pardon?"

"Buffy's a tangerine.....what am I?"

"Think careful on that one, Rupes," Spike warned. Anya looked expectantly for her fruitiness to be defined.

"Ummmm....you're....Anya you are a bunch of grapes," Giles informed with a smile.

"Grapes?!" The demon girl looked offended,"I'm sour? You're saying I'm going to shrivel up into a raisin?"

"No, my love, you are succulent and refreshing, a fine wine. I can never have just one." That pleased Anya to no end.

"Good answer, mate," said Spike.

"If it weren't inconsiderate would you devour me me right now?" The bunch of grapes asked coyly.

"Go on, Watcher, we don't mind." That earned the vampire a scowl from Giles.

"I like pears," Willow spoke up from her place in the other armchair, stretching her body out.

"I always crave a great big banana when I wake up," Dawn added, lounging at Buffy's feet. Everyone gave her wide mouthed looks of shock,"We're not talking about breakfast are we?"

"I'm gonna go get some toast..." Xander mumbled as he got to his feet and headed towards the kitchen.

"Think that one's best left to Freud for interpretation," Spike ruminated,"So, chitluns, what's the order for the day?"

"Something relaxing...post-apocalyptic ennui is large with me right now," Buffy mused. Dawn peeked outside through the curtain and smiled as the bright, warm, sunny day.

"How's about a picnic?" Dawn suggested with hopeful enthusiasm.

"Oh! Perfect!" Buffy agreed, leaping to her feet, Spike fortunately missing getting pummeled by the Slayer on full tilt,"I'll get started on sandwiches!" Dawn followed her, skipping like a school girl.

An hour later all we're gathered around a spread out blanket basking in the sunshine at the park. Willow passed around the food and arranged the fruit in the center for people to chose from while Dawn poured iced tea for them. Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder just as she took the first bite of her lunch and her sister handed her a thermos.

"Blood," the teenager informed.

"Spike, honey, her's your blood," Buffy smiled, but her happiness suddenly plummeted to her feet,"Oh MY GOD!!"

"What is it?!" her sister asked.

"I'm the worst girlfriend in the world!!" The rest finally clued in. A thermos, however kind a gesture it may have been was fairly useless to a vampire on a picnic on a sunny morning.

"We're all profoundly stupid," Giles sighed, a genuine pang of guilt settling upon his shoulders.

"Wow......and after he single handily defeated the Kraken and stopped and apocalypse.......can't believe we just forgot about him like that," Willow supplied, even Xander felt like a heal.

"You are a terrible girlfriend, Buffy," Dawn perpetuated her sister's guilt,"He must feel so dejected right now, so incredibly lonely and it's probably a hundred times worse because of the soul. Oh Buffy....tsk, tsk, tsk."

"HEY! You packed blood for him!" Buffy countered.

"I was doing something nice for him, you just forgot all about him! He almost died to earn back his soul just so he could try to prove himself worth of......of just having you even talk to him and you skipped your merry way out of the front door into the nice, vampire enflaming sunshine where you knew he couldn't follow and left him ALL ALONE. Imagine watching the love of your unlife abandon you like that without so much as a second glance. Sure sucks to be Spike doesn't it? There's gratitude for yah. Not so William the Bloody anymore, huh? More like William the Blubbering, just like a beaten puppy downstairs in the darkest corner of the basement....with the spiders....they're probably crawling all over him, but he's too upset to even notice or care....the cat won't even go down there...Wonder if you'll forget about me sometime....don't think this new you'll be jumpin' off any towers in the name of love any time soon if this is how you treat the supposed love of your life....." Buffy let out an anguished cry, burst into tears, clamored to her feet and began to run home. Dawn smiled wickedly and laughed a devilish little huff.

"Dawn, that was unnecessarily cruel," Giles admonished.

"It really was....it really was. Now pass me a ham and cheese."

Chapter 33

Buffy crashed through the front door of her house in desperate search for Spike. When he wasn't in the living room, she began to cry a deluge of remorseful tears. Dawn's words still fresh on her mind, hurt and tormented the Slayer. She descended into the basement, but merciful to her heart he was no where to be found amongst the spiders. Still trembling, but now determined, she headed upstairs and pushed open her bedroom door as quietly was possible. She stepped into the darkened room, padding slowly across the carpet as her eyes adjusted. The black shape of his body was huddled on the bed, above the covers and sound asleep. On impulse Buffy launched herself upon him.

"Spike!" she cried woefully. The vampire was roused from his dreams to his love crying on holding on to him for dear life. He managed to turn himself over to face her, but she didn't ease up in the slightest.

"Love? What's happened? Where are the others?!"

"On.....on....pic......picnic....." She blubbered and sniffled.

"Why aren't you with them?"

"I left you!"

"Well, yeah.....kinda had to, vampire, can't go out into the day. That doesn't explain why you've come home in fits and crying, pet. Whatever's upsetting you, you know can talk to me. I don't rightly understand all that goes spinning around inside that pretty little head of yours, but I can't listen and I can try." She stared at him and the perplexed but empathetic look on his face and felt wholly unworthy of a man such as this.

"You're not mad at me." She said it with astonishment, more rhetorically than as a question.

"Mad at you? My beauty, why ever would I be mad at you?"

"Because I left and went with them! I left you all alone. I just up and and *pfffft* went out in the sun for a picnic and forgot all about you! What's the matter with you?! You should be furious, you should want to tear my head off and drink from my brain stem!" Spike couldn't help by smile at her.

"Love, it's perfectly alright. You've been through alot, it's understandable that...."

"I haven't been through anything! You're the one who did it all this time! And it's not okay, don't ever let me be a selfish bitch like that again!"

"Hey! Stop. Don't take names to yourself like that. You're not a selfish bitch by any means."

"Spike, I'm awful...I did something horrible to you yet again. I'm so sorry."

"Sweets, I probably would have just come up here and gone to sleep regardless, quite beat after last night."

"It didn't hurt when I just walked out the door?"

"Well...."

"Oh god, I am awful!!" More tears erupted and Spike was about to reach his wit's end. The girl certainly knew how to pile the pain on herself.

"Enough," he cajoled,"Enough tears......got something better in mind...if you're really wantin' to make it up to me...Buffy...there's the matter of a promised ten hours...." He kissed her hot and hard until her laments turned into wanton little mews. He sat them up and his hands began to move under her shirt and up her body, unhooking her bra, then travelling back down to her hips. Spike pulled away and admired her, then stripped the clothing from her upper body. Meanwhile Buffy, tears of minutes ago forgotten, turned her attentions to unbuckling his belt and pulling the t-shirt from it and over his head. Their torsos smacked together, Spike consuming a breast in his mouth and sucking hard.

"Spike...spike....spike....."

"I love you Buffy, god I love you so much." As she started to work his jeans off his hips, a moment of deja vu flashed through his mind, but it was gone the moment her hands closed around his hardening length. A feral growl rose from his throat,"Ssslayerrrr...."

Buffy parted from him only a moment to work herself out of the remainder of her clothes, giving him the opportunity to kick off his jeans. She then came over him as fast as she could manage, straddling and kissing him for all he was worth, bruising and crushing their lips together while tongues circled and dueled. The moist heat between her legs coated the tip of his erection as they teased each other before Spike took hold of her thighs and guided her down hard. The vampire slipped inside his lover with amazing ease, despite the stretching her body had to go through to accommodate his generous size.

"Nnnnnaggh!" she suddenly cried out, fingers clawing into his shoulders and their kiss tearing apart. He wanted to question if she was alright, but got his answer in the form of her deliberately sinking herself down upon him as far as she could possibly take. His hands took possession of her hips, raising her up a ways and then guiding her back down."Unh! Spike...I've missed this so much...." He helped her set a rhythm as she rode him slowly, meanwhile she tightened her inner muscles when he was withdrawn, heightening all sensation beyond previous knowledge of each other. At length he simply steadied himself with his hands on her hips, feeling the rippling of her tendons and muscles as they made love. He began chanting a mantra of I love yous to her while they stared into each other's eyes, mysterious and endless in the darkness.

Both stayed their climaxes, daring each to hold out the longest. Counting in minutes was done for as it seemed they moved together for hours. Exhaustion was not an option as the Slayer increased the pace beyond furious and Spike thrust his hips up forcefully in effort to match her. Buffy arched herself again him, dragging her engorged clit down against the hard surface of his abdomen. When it seemed Buffy's frenzy was threatening to send her into an ecstatic oblivion, Spike took control again and threw his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against him. She cried out, almost in pain, so close to coming, to losing herself. She whimpered into the tender kiss he demanded, her chest heaving. He rocked them gently, then suddenly she did come, a fierce orgasm exploding around him. He'd never felt such an unrelenting vise around his cock in all their times before, not even that first night. His body over took anything his mind might have been telling it, stars appearing before his eyes as his lower body was strangled to it's release. He climaxed inside her with a straight stream of cool liquid, washing her insides before his mind went dark, even deader to the world than normal.

When he came around the Slayer was still in his lap, though his softened member had slipped out of her, the combined pool of their juices warm and sticky on them, but oddly comforting all the same. She was kissing his cheek and massaging his jawline."Bloody hell....you nearly killed me," he choked out. Her breath was hot against his ear and her body slick with sweat. She continued to caress him with a gentleness rarely given in their first weeks together. She certainly seemed to be making up for past misdeeds in abundance.

"I love you," her voice came as barely a whisper,"I love you completely, Spike." Her words passed straight through him as the blade of a sword, piercing through skin, muscle, blood, bone and marrow. He lay his head to her breast, her heart still thumping like a wild mare's hooves on an open plain. She relaxed, sleep wanting to overcome her and they held each other.

Chapter 34

Spike groaned as he stretched out his limbs and neck. As he stilled Buffy threw an arm and a leg over him and kept him bound to her."Never thought this day would come, my sweetness.....us just laying in bed together, holding each other," Spike mused,"Better than a kick in the head, that's for bloody sure." Buffy tightened her hold and lay her cheek against his.

"Sorry about that. I promise I'll never do it again....except in foreplay."

"Good thing you mentioned, I was gonna say...."

"Masochist."

"Right back at you, Slayer."

"Think it'll always be this way? Wanting and needing each other all the time? Saying I love you every minute?"

"No, love, I don't think it will." Buffy frowned and started to pull away, but instead of letting them break contact, Spike rolled over and lay himself on top of her. He shifted to and fro until his semi-hard length was resting comfortably at her entrance."Now that I've got you where I want you, I'll tell you what I meant by that. Buffy, you and I are complicated, there's a lot of gray with how we define each other. Sometimes we're beautiful and sometimes we're ugly. But I know one thing for certain - we'll always, always love each other. Sometimes we're going to hurt each other, sometimes we're both wanna walk out and never bloody come back....we'll fight, that's just who we are. But this love is real and it's sustaining. You and me, for-bloody-ever....don't ever think it different." Suddenly he was pushing inside her and she was still wet and wanting of him. As her inner linings stretched to take the familiar abundance of him, Buffy let out a high pitched sigh and arched up against him. Her arms and legs wrapped around his body and they lay quiet. Buffy reveled in the fullness he brought to her and if she tightened herself around him ever so slightly it heightened ten fold.

Spike gave a slight grind into her, rubbing her over stimulated clit, but also hitting a glorious bundle of nerves inside. Buffy gave a tense little intake of breath every time he repeated the action. It was entirely different from their vigorous couplings, this was providing love through slow, calculated pleasure. They smiled and held each other's gaze, giving more than taking. The Slayer's hand moved to the back of his head to guide his mouth down to the side of her neck. She kissed close his ear before whispering her intent.

"Drink from me." She heard the vampire's primal growl, then his sharp fangs grazing over the artery,"I love you." He broke this skin and was submerged in the source of her life's flow. She climaxed without precursor, crying out and exploding into a million points of light and pleasure all around him. He continued to swallow her blood as she travelled the long course of her orgasm into another after another. He took himself away from her throat, came with a roar and a long, mighty jet straight to her pulsing womb. They fell asleep moments after, Spike still nestled firmly inside.

The day wore on and at a certain point Spike awoke, the beautiful warmth of of Buffy's silken insides still gloving him. The last thing he wanted to do was move from her, but he felt a strange ache in his stomach and it was becoming more intense. He pulled out of her and she stirred as Spike stood up from the bed. He tried to stretch out, but suddenly the pain was like a dagger in his guts. He doubled over and held on to his stomach, face twisted up and strained from the agony. After a time it receded and he decided to make for the bathroom, though he had no idea why, other than that's where people went they were about to be sick. He hadn't felt this poorly in so long he couldn't remember when. Not even when the soul was he restored did he feel this extremity of distortion. He took a tentative step forward, but suddenly dropped to his knees as the sensation flared anew."Buff....." he choked out.

"Hmm?" she groaned in weak acknowledgment.

"Buffy....help."

"Spike?"

"Argg!!.....oh god.....love, help, please..." He clutched both arms around his abdomen and caved into the floor in total agony. Realizing the severity of his condition, Buffy sprang out of bed and crashed at his side. He curled into a ball of burning bones and flesh and was whimpering like a beaten animal.

"Spike, what's happening?!" He quickly grasped her hand with enough of a vise to crush bones on anyone else but her.

"Get......Giles....hurry...." He let go of her and moaned again, rolling all over in fits and spasms. When she tried to move him to the bed he howled. He was too consumed by the growing pain to tell her what he needed, so in a controlled panic, she tore the pillow and quilt off the bed and set them up around him. He was shaking, body out of his control, twitching and flailing at random. When she touched his face he flinched and whined. For the first few moments she'd been moving on autopilot, but now real and mania was setting in. The man she loved, who was supposed to never get sick or die was in a violent suffering turmoil and she had no idea why. Flashes of when Angel had been poisoned by Faith came to mind, but this was different. Angel was so far in her past the memories were pale and innocuous. This was Spike and he was so vital to her now that losing him would destroy her.

Chapter 35

She grabbed a sweatsuit and struggled into it, as well as stuffing her feet into a pair of sneakers. Not bothering to even close the front door behind her she ran out into the daylight. Over an hour later six pairs of feet came running into the Summers residence and pounded up the stairs, Giles taking lead. Buffy had searched frantically though every park or picnic spot she could think of, forgetting in her panic where she'd left them earlier in the day, before finally tracking them down. She'd been in hysterics and Giles barely got the vital information from her before she began pulling him to come home with her.

Giles found Spike laying spread eagle on Buffy's floor, naked as a newborn babe, but laying as still as corpse. Giving him the modesty that he couldn't take for himself, Giles mechanically pulled the discarded quilt and covered Spike's lower half. He pressed the back of his hand to the vampire's face and withdrew it quickly,"He's burning up...." Giles spoke, touching the face again,"Very high fever...best get him back in the bed.....Buffy, Xander.....help me." Reluctantly Xander followed Buffy's lead and pulled him up under each arm while Giles took his feet. Covering him again, Buffy sat gripping his lifeless hand whilst Giles began to examine him more closely."Spike? Can you hear me?" Spike kept his eyes closed, but nodded his head ever so slightly. His fingers tightened around Buffy's hand, but he released her and scrunched his face as he endured another wave of pain.

"Make it stop...." he pleaded. With his childlike wail, the lump in Buffy's throat choked her, then came out in an overflow of tears.

"Giles...do something!" Buffy begged.

"Do what?!" Giles snapped,"He's a bloody vampire! They're not supposed to get sick! I don't know how this could have happened in the first place. We...we.....could do a spell to detect if it's a metaphysical influence. Has he ingested anything?" Buffy's hand sailed to the puncture wounds on her neck where he'd drank from, Giles had caught glimpse of them already.

"When we.....when we were....I asked him to, I trusted him. I thought it would be a gift." Giles rested a comforting hand on her knee.

"I'm sure it was,s dear. Your blood would not have poisoned him, especially not Slayer's blood, it likely lessened the severity of this affliction."

"Lessened!? Giles he's in so much pain he's barely conscious! Wait......something....god!..."

"What!?"

"When....when we were in Greece....after he'd killed the gorgon, when he picked up the head some of her blood splashed on his face, in his mouth..."

"Oh no...." Giles removed his glassed and began cleaning them, Buffy wanted to grab the things and hurl them across the room,"Gorgon's blood has long been thought of as the most deadly poison known...I dare say your blood is what's kept him alive at this point. I'll need to consult a few books. Anya? Time is of the essence, teleport to the shop and get me Goren's Tome of Grecian Demonics."

"Right away," Anya replied, already dematerializing.

"Buffy, I think you should try and get him to take more of your blood, if you're willing."

"Dawn - go get me a knife from the kitchen," Buffy ordered without second thought, Dawn obeyed immediately. Giles rose and ushered Xander and Willow away.

"I'll have Dawn bring up a cold compress and water with the knife....for him. We'll do everything we can." Buffy nodded and let them leave, turning her attention fully to Spike. Dawn reappeared a few minutes later and placed a bowl of water and ice cubes on the bedside table along with a wash cloth and a perring knife.

"Can I stay?" the younger Summers asked. Buffy nodded and moved to make room for Dawn on the bed, sitting up next to Spike's shoulders. Giving both girls a start with his unanticipated movement, Spike reached out to clasp Buffy's stray arm at the wrist. There was weakness in his hands and the hold fell away as soon as he'd touched her. He went under again, his body shuddering and shifting like gears in a machine, never finding a comfortable niche or a moment's reprieve. Buffy caressed his face, it was so warm, surely his blood must just about be boiling. Laying her wrist against his half open mouth she hoped instinct would compell his demon to sink his fangs into her and drink his way to wellness.

"Come on, baby...." she whispered, but to no avail. Taking the knife from beside her, she nicked a vein and replaced it to his lips. He jolted away from the coppery liquid filling his mouth, turning over in an action that clearly caused him agony, a released of the tension coming in yet another sob. She persevered and forced her open vein into his mouth again. In a fit of strength he forcibly pushed her arm off him.

"Get it away!!" he shouted, then hugging his knees at his chest and whinging whilst he involuntarily rocked himself. Dawn took Buffy's wrist in her hand and put the wash cloth to it, letting the clotting process begin. At Spike's outburst, the attention of the household, and once again they all stumbled into Buffy's bedroom.

"Buffy....what's happening with him?" Giles demanded.

"He won't take my blood," she replied shakily. Spike turned back over and reach for her.

"Buffy?" he whispered, opening his eyes.

"I'm right here."

"Buff....Buffy.....for....forgi....forgive me..." There was something in his eyes that was desperate and manic and it scared Buffy to death.

"I already did, you remember? Remember in the cave, I made you promise not to forget." She tried to cajole him with a maternal tone, as she caressed the back of his hand that she held between her's with the back of her thumb.

"No....no....you d...d.....don't understand...I....I didn't go to Africa to get m..my...soul....I went to g....get....th....the chip out...so...I.....so I, so I could k....kill you. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.....I'm sorry....know thi....this....I could never kill you.....I love you....." He was sounding unstable and anxious now, as if he was about to explode.

"I love you too....come on, be strong....for me." Buffy was close to losing it.

"Plea....please......forgive me....I need it before I.....say.....it...." He was quieting now, finally, resting his weight back into the mattress.

"I forgive you." She smiled at him and kissed his knuckles, gaining a smile back in return.

"Thank you...." And with those final words he was gone. He closed his eyes, let out what little air he had left in his lungs, and became void of any signs of life.

"Spike?" Buffy's whispered, then her calls became urgent,"Spike?! Spike...SPIKE!?!?! Spike....no..no....no.....Spike, no...." Giles came to her side and touched Spike's face, on the turn of a dime he was colder than ever.

"Buffy....I think....I think he's dead," Giles spoke.

"He's not! Vampires.....they're always like this when they sleep, they're still....and....and.....cold. Vampires don't die like this....they don't die....."

"Buffy, dear, you saw how he was suffering, how sick he was....I think it just got the better of him, gorgon's blood is the most potent poison in existence...and there's always lucidity just before death....his soul is free, take comfort in that...." She ignored Giles' reasoning and grabbed Spike's shoulders, lifting him up and starting to shake him.

"Wake up! You stupid vampire....WAKE UP!!" She back handed him across the face and his head lulled forward, she started to scream at him and shake harder. Dawn couldn't take the horror of it any longer and pulled Buffy away and letting Spike fall dead back to the bed.

"Buffy, stop it, please!" the teenager wailed through her own tears. The Slayer came to her senses and looked at her sister, then back to her lover, cold and dead. Buffy sobbed, fell upon the bed again, and buried her face at his stomach, weeping openly."I think we should leave them alone...." The group, all of them, even Xander, had tears coming down their faces. Dawn was the last, lingering a moment to absorb her sister's pain, ignoring the reality that she'd herself had just lost her best friend. She closed the door and let Buffy say goodbye.

The young woman who had been through several apocalypses, innumerable fights against all sorts of demons, who'd weathered the loss of friends and family, and even survived being torn from Heaven after her own death now faced the greatest most profound pain of her existence. She cried against the hard, cold muscles and flesh of his abdomen for hours, even after the sun had set. When the tears stopped coming and her head pounded like it was being beaten with a sledgehammer she looked upon his face once more. His expression was unchanged, calm and even happy, her final words to him had given absolution for all his crimes and sins. He looked like he was at peace.

She pressed her lips to his, hard and desperate, trying to will her life into his body, anything to keep herself from accepting that he'd died. She lay down next to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and cradling his head to the pillows of her breasts."Do you remember our first night together?" she whispered the beginning of a story,"How suddenly we went from fighting to....well, I wouldn't call it making love...but you know.....the look you had on your face, I still remember it all the time....awe....like I was burning you with some divine light or something....but you know what else? I saw how much you loved me, just about broke me in two. That look was always there, except once, after I'd destroyed you. Then after you looked so ashamed, but we got past all of that and now we love each other. We've come so far, that's why you can't be dead, we deserve more than just a few days....we've been lucky though, haven't we? I found the one other person in all the world that I could love with my whole heart, without fear, without doubt.....I could live a thousand years more, and I know I'll never find it again.....because it's you, Spike, and now you're gone....you're gone......."

Chapter 36

The sun had begun to rise and a streak of pale yellow stood out in sharp contrast to the indigo of the night sky and the fading stars. They Scoobies sat silent around the living room, Willow asleep against Xander's shoulder; Giles and Anya playing mindlessly with each other's fingers, clinging closer to their love knowing how much pain Buffy was in now that Spike had died. Dawn sat in the armchair that was so often occupied by the vampire, William curled in her lap, sound asleep. No one had been able to speak all night long. They'd listened to Buffy's sickened, mournful cries for the longest time, until she'd cried herself silent. Now there was just an eerie, empty feeling to the house. Dawn forced herself to be strong, willing herself not to break down until Buffy could manage. If she ever could.

"I think someone should go check on her," Dawn finally said, instantly gaining every one's attention.

"You're right, Dawn," Giles echoed,"She can't remain with him forever, there's things to be done with him, but I'm not sure....he's a vampire....perhaps.....perhaps.....he'll turned to dust once the last vestiges of the demon leave the body.......of course the body may just go about the natural courses after death, but technically it's been dead for well over a century.....perhaps it will be the dust..."

"That sounds.....horrible...." Xander muttered. Willow, now awake, nodded in agreement.

"I don't think she's gonna come back from this one," Dawn concluded, placing William on the ground and getting to her feet,"It was different with mom....this is.....it's Spike..."

***

He was aware of several things upon waking that morning; first he was naked, not that he minded, simply that he was. He was in Buffy's bed, which was always a good thing. The girl was wrapped around him, sound asleep, also something he favored. Last he realized one thing was out of order, namely his autonomic nervous system, for the simple fact that it was working. He breathed in and out, steady and naturally. His heart thumped healthily in his chest; blood was pumping through his veins. He felt incredibly warm, energized.....alive.

"Buffy....sweet pet," he spoke, giving her a nudge,"Wakey, wakey, Slayer.....got something to tell you." She stirred and blinked her eyes open.

"What? Can't it wait....sleepy....."

"No, love, I don't think it can." Suddenly she remember that he was supposed to be dead. She shot up like a rocket and here eyes were wider than a full moon.

"GIIIIIIIIIIIILESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Ow.....mind the volume, sweets, eardrums are bleeding."

"You.....you're alive!"

"And then some....gimme your hand..." He didn't wait for her to respond and promptly placed her palm over his heart,"Feel that?"

"Spike! You're alive!....you're ALIVE!!"

"Evidently so..." Without warning he was again flat on his back, being straddled by the Slayer and being kissed by a volcano of a girl. Certainly not one to protest such a lovely morning activity he fisted his hands in her hair and returned her kiss with equal ardor. Giles burst through the bedroom door, along with every one else. Buffy tore her lips from Spike's and with tears in her eyes turned to them.

"He's alive! He's alive!"

"Check me out, Watcher, pulse and everything," said Spike as he held out his wrist. Apprehensively Giles pressed his fingers to Spike's wrist and felt around until he found the steady, strong beat.

"By god...." Giles breathed out, then he slumped to the ground,"I need a drink....Spike, you're alive."

"Quite aware of that, thanks."

"No....you're alive...."

"Got that covered....you okay?"

"Scotch....I cope better with scotch."

"Well, we'll get a few fingers of it down you later...but for right now think you could screw your brain back in and figure out how this happened?" From the corner of the room Dawn burst out with the squeal she'd been restraining and bound across the room to throw her arms around Spike and squeeze him tight,"Hey, Nibblet..." Without warning the once vampire found himself with four sets of female arms around various portions of his upper body as Willow and Anya joing in."That's it girls....share the love."

"Oh what the hell!" Xander exclaimed and joined in with the group hug.

"Harris?"

"Yeah?"

"Naked here...." That did it and he was released by every one save Buffy. She closed her eyes and reveled in the sensations of having his body warm against her's, he was really alive.

"The gorgon's blood!" Giles spat out,"That must be it....it poisoned the demon....drove it out...that must be it."

"I can wrap m'mind around that, but why the humanization?"

"Side effect? I'm not quite sure...reasearch to be done for sure. We'll have to document everything that occurred, how long the process took....are you certain the demon's gone?"

"Dunno....think so...hard to tell, the darkness is still in here, back of the mind, but soul's as good as ever.....but I don't think I can vamp out....don't feel vampiry anymore....guess that means something."

"Do you still have your strength?"

"Let's see...Buffy, pet...hit me." She drew back from him.

"What? No...I'll hurt you!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Give us a good tap, love...come on!"

"Forget it! You hit me, I can tell if it's got super power behind it."

"I'm not hitting my girlfriend....wouldn't be terribly PC of me now would it? Besides, don't like hittin' you anymore."

"Well, we gotta try something."

"Can I hit Harris?"

"Hey!" Xander protested, earning a mocking smirk from Spike.

"Oh! I know," Buffy announced,"Troll hammer, in the basement!"

***

As Buffy was coming up from the basement, with Olaf's trusty hammer in tow, a now clothed Spike was coming down the stairs, the two met in the front hall, the others all gathered and waiting."Moment of truth, eh? But, sweetheart, I could never lift the bloody thing in the first place," he resoned.

"I've got a hunch, babe," Buffy smiled,"Catch!" She tossed him the hammer and in a scrambled he lurched for it. To his amazement, he was able to pluck it from the air and not let it fall, instead he held it up and swung it about as if it were little more than a toy.

"Well I'll be...." He became fascinated with doing tricks, lobbing it up behind his back and catching it as it came down in front of him. Eventually she caught it before he had a chance to and placing it gingerly behind her and out of his reach,"Hey, give it back!"

"You passed the test....human, but with your strength intact and even a little heightened....do you feel okay?"

"I feel fantastic, actually. Bloody fantastic!"

"I've got it!!" Giles gasped,"Let...let me explain." He removed his spectacles and gave them a clean,"The gorgon's blood poisoned the dominant quality inhabiting the vessel that was your body, your demon. It quelled the force of it, effectively snuffed it out. Before the process came to a head and you went through your illness, you fed on Buffy. As Buffy's essence was transferred to you, it took up residence in where the demons had vacated. Sound logical? I think that's a viable conclusion."

"So what are you saying?"

"I think, Spike, that you've become a Slayer."

"Come again?"

"And I say a second, come again?" Buffy added.

"I think, Buffy, that as vampire sire's a person with their blood and turns them into a vampire, you effectively sired Spike as a Slayer."

"I think I need some of that scotch you were talking about earlier," said Spike.

Chapter 37

Buffy put and arm around his waist and he gave her a look of total and absolute disbelief,"Does this mean he has to call me Sire and he's my childe and I get to boss him around like a minion? He's forced to do my bidding because he's enthralled by my master Slayer superiority?" Buffy mused.

"Slayer, I'm not your bitch.....so cut it with the vampire clichés, alright?" Spike grit out.

"Lighten up...this is good....isn't it? Oh god, you wanted to stay a vampire, didn't you?" He turned her into him and rested his hands on her hips, sure to hold their eyes in contact with each other. He shook his head and smiled ever so slightly.

"No, pet that's not it......the soul and the demon didn't like sharing quarters, I was managing....with the big bad gone, the man's better off. I've been through a few too many changes as of late....just need to adjust. It's a little ironic, to be sure, I'm a bloody Slayer? One hell of a mindfuck for this poor old man...."

"But you're okay?"

"I'm delirious....always knew you'd change my life....never thought you'd change m'species, but there you have it." He playfully flicked the tip of her nose with his index finger.

"So how much of Spike is still Spike though.....on the insides I mean," Buffy asked of Giles, her hands still getting used to Spike being warm bodied as she caressed his arms.

"Well, I suppose a DNA analysis could be in order, compare your genetic attributes.....perhaps compatability also, the Slayer qualities that could be passed on to your offspring would be most interesting. Infact the potential for actually breeding Slayers....."

"Suddenly I'm breeding?"

"You're starting to sound a little too Council of Wankers there, Rupert. My mini Buffys and lil' Spikes will not be under the thumbs of those right royal bastards like this girl's been," Spike added,"Mind you...the prospects of knockin' up the Slayer does have its appeal. What do you say, love? Wanna get spiked good n' proper?"

"Guess you didn't absorb any of my tact did you? So what now?"

"Considering none of us has slept a wink all night long, except you two, I suggest we all go to our respective beds. We can discuss this further later on," Giles suggested and everyone nodded and groaned at the potential for blissful slumber. They said their goodbyes and soon only Dawn, Buffy and Spike remained, William too of course. Dawn hugged both her sister and best friend, then picked up her beloved kitten and made her way back upstairs to sleep.

Once alone, Buffy finally had a chance to truly absorb the profundity of the amazing event that had occurred. Her selfless act of love for a vampire had changed the course of their lives forever. Here he was before her, a human being as well as a Slayer, just like her, her equal and her love. The connection was real and kinetic. She had a heart full of love for him but there was more to it that just that. As her blood had been used to create Dawn, so had it been to alter Spike. Buffy encircled his waist with her arms and buried her face against his chest. He smelled different, more like a real man than ever, it was still intoxicating. She felt his hands upon her shoulders, massaging them. He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her with the appreciation of new lungs.

"I thought I'd lost you!" she abruptly choked out, voice cracking with emotion. He moved his hands to cup her face and lift it to look at his.

"You're not gonna lose me, Buffy." He kissed at her salty tears, over her closed eyelids and then softly on the lips."We're only just beginning, my sweet. There's nothing we can't do now that we're together....it's gonna be so bloody amazing, needn't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid of having it all, I'm afraid of losing it."

"I think you need a lil' affirmation, come with me, pet?"

"Where?"

"Out in the sun."

Chapter 38

Buffy found him on her front porch smoking a cigarette, still standing in the shadows."Ever think of quitting? Even Slayer lungs can get cancer."

"Probably should...but I've been smokin' since the 1920s.....the patch might not quite cut it." He then turned to look at her and audibly gasped when he beheld her in the doorway. She'd showered and put her hair up, a few ringlets framing her angelic face. She wore a white peasant style minidress with smocking gathering the fabric across her breasts. Her arms were bare as were most of her legs, slim sandals on her feet."You....you're.....beautiful, Buffy." She smiled at the compliment and came over to take his hand.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be....still a little solar phobia hanging on. Stuck my pinky out and didn't singe, so guess I'm good to go....but I'd follow you anywhere."

"What are we waiting fore then, Slayer?" She hopped down the steps and pulled him along. He braced himself and left the darkness behind for the first time in over a century.

***

Being under the sun's rays was having the same effect on him as Buffy's kisses always had. He felt warmth coming from the inside out, his heart taking the power of the light and coursing it to every cell. Buffy had chosen not to take him into town, she didn't want to share his first day in the sun with anyone. They walked through the cemetery, where Spike was oddly disturbed. There was something wrong about death in the day time. Eventually they made their way into the forest, spots of earth still damp after the rain. He'd forgotten how many more colors came with light, and when one got the chance to really see it, how everything was so much more vibrant and alive. Buffy had wandered ahead of him, she was looking upwards at the spires of the tree tops. He thought to gather up a bouquet of wildflowers to present to her, but decided not to cross over the line into supreme poofdom.

A sudden rush of wind came up behind him and when it passed over Buffy it sent the back of her dress billowing up above her waist. She cried out at the shock of cool air against her backside, Spike meanwhile was gawking lustfully at her bare bottom and the thin white cotton thong she sported. He rushed up behind her and gave one plump cheek a playful smack before she managed to get her dress under control.

"Spike!" she exclaimed, pretending to be shocked at what he'd done, but secretly turned on, naturally.

"Oh pfft....you didn't even wear a bra, Slayer. I see those rosy lil' tips on your tits right through the fabric...there's a reason you wore Indian cotton on a sunny day, bloody see right through it can't I? You've brought me out here for a nice day time shag."

"I thought you'd like it."

"Sweetness, at this very moment I could pitch a tent tall enough to fit the entire California chapter of the American Boyscouts under it. The point is.....well, come to think of it, don't really have a point. Let's find a nice sunny patch of moss shall we?" They ran through the woods searching for a suitable clearing until they tripped into a glade circled by a thick hedge of bushy cedars. There was only direct sunlight to half the expanse, most of it covered in a combination of naturally occurring woolly thyme as well as Irish moss. Buffy tackled Spike to the ground and straddled him, all the while laughing and smiling at him. His hands found their way to the supple curve of her rear, squeezing the roundness with the points of his fingers. The flimsy dress was pulled off and Buffy flung it behind her before leaning down to give him a wild, fresh kiss. In one swift motion he tore off her panties to which point she bit his lip."Ow! Bloody hell woman, that hurt!" He sucked on his bottom lip, the taste of blood never quite so foreign before.

"So did that!" She frowned and looked downwards, maximum playing of the guilt factor.

"I'm sorry, baby....lemme kiss it better."

"You can do more than kiss it..." With that parting comment she got off him and rolled on to her back, spreading herself wide next to him. He unbuckled his belt, lift his hips off the ground and yanked down his jeans. He kicked off his boots and pulled off his jeans, then lastly his t-shirt before following suit and rolling on top of her. He was inside her before he even realized he'd thrust forward, already she'd arched up to him and sighed his name. She as warm as ever, but this time the joining felt entirely different, a little more sacred, perhaps even holy. The odd knowledge came upon him that this wasn't just an act of lust or animal need, but this was what the emotion of love must feel like when you were a living person. They had the power to create life now, something that didn't weigh lightly upon his shoulders.

She raised her knees at his sides and he pulled back to take hold of them, pushing them towards her chest. She in turn put her hands over his before eventually grasping his forearms. Moving up to rest on his knees he came down upon her hard, pushing in to the hilt, making her cry out. He began moving in and out of her at a comfortable pace, curling his hips when he drew back, making a point of stroking along to top of her inner walls. She was keening, face tense and breathing harsh; he was the same, realizing that lungs could hurt when used so vigorously.

Moving, dancing with her was pure bliss, she was everything a man's soul needed to know about enlightenment, nirvana, eternity. He felt Buffy trying to compel him to slow down and with her hands coming to his shoulders he did as she bade. She pulled him close and rolled them over and after they'd settled into the new position she continued. She kept them closely together, making simple rocking motions, feeling every rigid nuance of his length deep inside. He palmed her breasts and rubbed the tips of her nipples with his thumbs, giving her yet another point of pleasure. She leaned into him and caressed his face, saying an I love you just before she came. He heard her cries and moans, felt her muscles clenching and releasing, then felt his own fluids streaming out and to her womb when he too climaxed; but he couldn't see her face, only the black silhouette of her body....the sun was in his eyes.

THE END

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