Well, I was working yesterday and I was on the other side of the counter to give my manager privacy (she was using the phone) while still making myself available to the customer filling out paper work behind her when the phone rings (she's still on it).  When she hangs up, she answers and then tells me its for me.  Umm, ok.  It was my baby!  He's on his way home to me, or so he says.  I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but its too late, I'm elated!  I hope to God he comes home the day he said he would, it'll break my heart.  I told him NOT to tell me anything anymore unless he was absolutely certain and here he goes, calling me like he'll be here.  *sigh*  I hope he is.  I miss him so much.

I didnt react the way he hoped.  I couldnt help it, not only was I shocked and trying NOT to believe him, I also had a customer standing 3 feet away.  I feel guilty for not behaving more excited but I'm scared to death that he wont be home when he says now.... it really hurts every time they change their mind.  I carry my cell with me now, hoping and praying the FRG will call to let me know that he IS in fact on his way.  Its the only way I'll know its real.

I gained some weight, so now I'm fat for when Ken comes home.  Just last week I was slim and toned and now I am back up to a size 10.  I realize thats not fat but I feel fat.  So strange, seeing as how when I WAS fat, I rarely felt that way.  I always feel beautiful when he looks at me and tells me I am, maybe thats what I need.